Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't

Latest Episodes:

Coronavirus & Sunflowers Mar 07, 2020

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An astute comparison of adaptative radiations in Asteraceae with the novel coronavirus COVID-19. Plus, Carl Zimmer kicks Mike Pence in the cock. 90 minutes of rambling with Isaac Lichter, and why coming out of the closet drives the quality of one's art and writing to hell.

Coronavirus & Sunflowers Mar 07, 2020

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Parasitic conifers & Amborella(New Caledonia 2) Feb 13, 2020

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This is the second episode on New Caledonian botany, with continued fanatic ranting on the wonders of ultramafic geology and botany as well as musings on the futility of eating jackfruit and the pondering of what Dengue Fever must feel like.

New Caledonia, Disjointed Ranting, Conifer Dungeons, Biogeography of Southern Hemisphere Lineages, Mosquitoes Feb 02, 2020

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Did I contract Dengue Fever yesterday on Moo Mountain whilst hiking to a relict population of Araucaria humboldtensis? Was New Caledonia submerged for 20 million years and then recolonized by numerous ancient lineages of plants? Will I be broke after returning from my visit here?

Plant Breeding, Fern Sex, Dark Humor, South Africa, A Conversation with Martin Grantham Jan 02, 2020

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A conversation with a botanical wizard, explorer, conservationist, and plant propagator, my friend the illustrious Martin Grantham. 3 hrs long but worth a listen. We explore comedic misanthropy, a brief analysis of the human condition, our behavioral affinities with violent chimps, Fern sex and how they do it, South African flora, and the idea that one does not really know plants until they've grown them.

Chilean Fog Deserts, Biogeographical Islands, Nolana Diversity, Candy Diets Dec 25, 2019

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2 hours of pontificating on the beauty of fog deserts plus pondering how the fuck Sheriff Woody is able to hike 1,000 miles on a diet of candy and potato chips. Eriosyce recondita and cactus poachers, lomas formations, Fog islands brought to you by the Humboldt Current plus rants on shoulder surgery and the killing of street rats by Lewy.

Botanizing Deserts on Foot with Sheriff Woody Nov 30, 2019

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A conversation with an expert plant explorer in a fleabag hotel room in Arica, Chile.

Mushrooms Mushrooms Mushrooms Nov 22, 2019

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A 20 minute disjointed and profane rant followed by a 90 minute conversation with mycologist Alan Rockefeller. Oooooh how bout Dat.

Short Run/Podcast in a Can Nov 15, 2019

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I fucked this episode up by using the wrong mic setting, so it sounds like I recorded it in the public shower stall in the Honk Kong Airport bathroom. Meh, whatever, it's still a decent rant. You'll be fine.

Biogeography & Death of a Milkweed Nov 03, 2019

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Assorted ramblings on biogeography, a work ethic for Anthropocene, Irreverence for modern society, Biophilia, "Woke" Leftism vs Sociopathic right-ism, and the silly and idiotic destruction of a population of the endangered prostrata milkweed.