Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't

Latest Episodes:

Kill Your Lawn rehash Feb 20, 2023

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TRIGGER WARNING : This ENTIRE episode is about 40 minutes of inundation in the phenomenon that is the nasally, intensely-obnoxious Chicago accent.
In this episode we do a quick rehash of recent filming of Kill Your Lawn in New Orleans, wrapping up eight episodes. We also discuss the difference between too much paht and a lot of paht, "embracing the swamp" and planting for clay-rich, water-logged soil and some of the species that will thrive in such conditions. We also discuss the leg wear known as Zubas, Mardi Gras parades, the Legendary Locomotive Engineer known as "The Commodore" of the Oakland Terminal and more.

A Conversation with Printmaker & Artist Roger Peet Feb 11, 2023

Show notes

Roger Peet is an artist, printmaker, organizer, & naturalist. IG = @toosphexy
Link Page/store for ordering prints :
https://toosphexy.carrd.co/?fbclid=PAAaaRBHW1j1gc6TJgIdRdjPOudw6KjimonyoNXCYGe_GH-vS1S5iiwbz_IYI
Episodes can be listened to ad-free on the Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

Peyote Ceremony & Esenbeckia Feb 06, 2023

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In this episode we talk about being in "the fitness center of da mind" as a goal of enlightenment, attending a peyote ceremony, being woo-ed to sleep by nightjars and woken up by kiskadees, foaming out over the rare Esenbeckia berlandieri (Rutaceae) of South Texas, creating habitat after you kill your lawn, what's it's like to live in an autoslum (daht cahm), and how to get more Americans enjoying the native plants of their local ecology.

2 Hour Plant Biology/Ecology Crash Course w/ Scott Zona Jan 22, 2023

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In this episode of Crime Pays we talk with Dr Scott Zona, author of a seminal new book on beginner's Botany ("A Gardener's Guide to Botany") about plants chemical defenses, night blooming plants, cyanide in plants, the bizarre weirdos that are Cycads, and much more.

South Florida Monologues Jan 19, 2023

Show notes

The beautiful bark of Poison Wood, "What the sh*t is a Hardwood Hammock?", Swamp Walking, Epiphytism, KILL YOUR LAWN, Corraloid roots and why nitrogen-fiing cyanobacteria need them, Tillandsia dungeon inside a cypress dome, OOOOOOOlitic Limestone, why roots splay out and crawl along the surface (ie they're growing on bare rock and don't have soil to sink into), Silver Palms (Coccothrinax argentata), Photosynthetic roots of epiphytic orchids, etc.

South Florida Native Plants w/Lillium Byrd Jan 12, 2023

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An hour talk with Lilium Byrd about Florida Native Plants, rants about the ecological wreckage of South Florida, Hardwood Hammocks, Pine Rocklands, Florida Scrub Jays, & the cultural cesspool. We also talk about trying to cultivate native plant movements as a means of keeping down the figurative puke, why there aren't more native plant nurseries down here, and what it's like to get a rash from Metopium toxiferum.

Pyracantha Death, Obscene Birders, Western Interior Seaway Jan 03, 2023

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In this episode we hear a series of rants about the hideous living-concertina-wire that is Pyracantha, the Western Interior Seaway (RIP) and theamy fossils it produced in the Cretaceous limestone of Western North America, why shallow oceans produce more fossils than deep ones, permaculture projects in the desert, the coolest birding shirt ever made, dosing a botany conference, and more deranged and disjointed ranting then you can throw an Inoceramus fossil at.

Tasmania Rants Dec 22, 2022

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In this episode we spend two hours ranting about the Flora of Tasmania and why it acts like a time capsule for the relictual flora of Antarctica, tree-like Senecios, the genus Richea and the bizarre floral trait known as an operculum, the taxonomic circumscription of the family Myrtaceae, the act of ruining Christmas, terrestrial orchids mimicking female wasps in order to get pollinated, and more.

Talking Tasmania w/Matt Berger Dec 17, 2022

Show notes

To cut to the chase and skip the intro go to minute 45:00.
In this episode Matt Berger and I talk about Tasmanian Botany and filming Tasmanian endemics, the Paleoendemism of the West half of Tasmania vs. the mainland Australian floristic affinities of the East.

Miguel de Salas & Tasmanian Botany Dec 04, 2022

Show notes

In this episode we talk all things Tasmanian Botany, on an island notab for being home to Gondwanan relict plants that provide us a glimpse of what parts of the Antarctic continent may have looked like 30 million years ago before it froze over. Nothofagus, Athrotaxis, Deceptive Orchids with a Pollination Hustle, and the world's tallest Flowering Plant all get mentioned here in this two hour conversation with the curator of botany at the Tasmanian Herbarium, Miguel de Salas.

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