Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

Latest Episodes:

Is Our Adoptive Parent Profile the Reason We Aren't Getting Picked? - Weekend Wisdom Feb 25, 2024

Show notes

Question: We’ve been waiting for a little over a year, and so far, no birth mom has asked to meet with us. I think we need to revamp our profile book.
Resources:

What is an Adoptive Parent Profile? (Resource page)
Understanding the Birth Parent's Experience (Resource page)
Adoption Process & Important Considerations (Resources)

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

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Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

An Interview with Author Nicole Chung Feb 21, 2024

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Nicole Chung, author of All You Can Ever Know, has done it again with another wonderful memoir about growing up as a transracial adoptee and then losing both her adoptive parents. A Living Remedy is a story about family love and loss, regardless of how the family is formed.
In this episode, we discuss:

Family love.
- You were well, if not always perfectly, loved.
- You were temperamentally different from your parents, especially your dad. This may be more common in adoption. How did these differences impact you growing up?
- Things my mom sent me, I sent my mom, my mom gave me.
Growing out of the socioeconomic level you were raised in.
- Your mother thought you were ashamed of them.
What is middle class?
- There is a big difference between being working class and middle class.
- “Our “broke” bore no resemblance to my parent's “broke.” …We always had options.
The impact of lack of money on health.
Impact of Covid on families trying to care for loved ones.
Your sister Cindy.
- Cindy wasn’t well-loved. How did she deal with the differences in her life vs your life?

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Establishing Attachment With a Non-English Speaking Child - Weekend Wisdom Feb 18, 2024

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Question: We are adopting an 8-year-old little girl from the country of Georgia. I would love some concrete tips on how our family (four bio kids) can best communicate with her and foster attachment despite the language barrier. Are there any tools you can recommend or strategies to help non-English speaking adoptees feel more comfortable in their new environment?
Resources:

Creating and Cultivating Attachment (Resource Guide)
Sibling Relationships (Resource Guide)
Traveling With Newly Adopted Children (Podcast)
Preparing Children for the Adoption of a Sibling (Suggested Books)

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The Art of Talking With Kids Feb 14, 2024

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We talk to our kids all day, but how can we use these conversations to help them reach their full potential? Our guest is Rebecca Roland, a speech pathologist, Harvard lecturer, and author of the book The Art of Talking with Children.
In this episode, we discuss:

What is rich talk, and why is it important?
You talk about different types of conversations. What are some of the different conversations we should have with our children?
Conversations for learning.
Conversations for empathy.
Conversations for social skills.
Conversations for confidence and independence.
Conversations for building relationships.
Conversations for openness.
Conversations to promote joy and creativity.

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How Common Are Failed Adoption Matches? - Weekend Wisdom Feb 11, 2024

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Question: Last week my husband and I flew across the country to meet our potential adoptive baby. We had been matched 5 weeks earlier and were full of happiness. We’ve always known the risks of having a fall through but based on the case, we didn’t think it would be the case. It was. Despite being in contact with birthmom via email and text, getting her updates and baby pictures, she ghosted us and the agency. We met her and birthfather, she let us take pictures holding the baby and gave the agency’s social worker some missing paperwork. She had a change of heart last minute which is fine, but what made things more painful was that she never informed us.
Resources:

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Resource pages on all aspects of family building

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Adoption Microaggressions Parents Need to Know About Feb 07, 2024

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What are the microaggressions or stigmas in the world of adoption and how do they impact adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents? We talk with Dr. Amanda Baden, a Professor and the Doctoral Program Director at Montclair State University in the graduate counseling program and a licensed psychologist in private practice in Manhattan. She is an adult adoptee from Hong Kong and an adoptive parent of a daughter from China.
In this episode, we cover:

What are microaggessions in general and how do they apply to adoption?
These microaggressions apply to all members of the adoption kinship network (adoptees; adoptive parents, grandparents, siblings; first/birth parents/grandparents).
Where do some of the unconscious attitudes and stigmas toward adoption come from?
Common microaggression themes for adoptees:
- biology is best/normative is based upon the belief that biological ties are superior, more permanent, and more authentic than ties formed through adoption or foster care
- bad seed adoptees or damaged goods
- grateful adoptees, a third theme, refers to the idea of adoptees as both lucky and privileged to have been adopted
- cultural limbo and invalidation of heritage
What are some of the microagressions against birth parents?
What are some of the microaggressions against adoptive parents?
Lack of intent to hurt.
How can microsaggressions impact the mental health?

Danger of a Single Story by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

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Can You Adopt Out of State? - Weekend Wisdom Feb 04, 2024

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Question: Is it possible to adopt a child from another state, provided that all parental rights were terminated on both mother and father’s sides? What extra complications or legalities do families adopting out of state face?
Resources:

Adopting a Child Out of State (Parent Training Education Course)
Foster Care Adoption
Domestic Infant Adoption
Working with an Adoption Attorney

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How to Create a Compelling Adoptive Parent Profile Jan 31, 2024

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How can you create an adoptive parent profile to help you stand out and show what makes you unique? To find out, join our guests Erin Quick, the Founder and CEO of PairTree and an adoptive mom, and Jess Nelson, the profile creation provider at Pairtree and a two-time birth mom.
In this episode, we cover:

What are Adoptive Parent Profiles?
What other names might they go by?
Each agency or attorney has their own preference, but the goal is to be yourself and to represent your family honestly.
What are the different ways that agencies use profiles?
Do agencies share your home study with the expectant mom or couple?
How many profiles is an expectant mother or couple usually given to look at?
Does each adoption agency or adoption attorney have different info they want you to share?
What are the elements of a “good” profile?
What should be on your cover?
What sections/topics should you include?
Should you discuss your thoughts on openness in adoption?
Is a “closing “important?
How many pictures should you include in an adoptive parent profile?
Are captions to the pictures important?
Quality of the pictures.
Should you include a video if your adoption portfolio is digital?
What type of pictures should you avoid?
How to handle pictures with alcohol in them?
Is there anything different you would suggest for single prospective parents? female and male
Is there anything different you would suggest for LGBTQ+ prospective adoptive parents?
How do you show your family support when you do not have a close family because of death or estrangement?
What if your house or apartment does not look good or does not photograph well?
What format should you use: hardback book, booklet, online, or stapled together?
How many copies should you print?
How important is the adoptive parent portfolio in the expectant parent’s decision-making?
What is the experience like for an expectant mom or couple to go through profiles.
- Birth Parent Experiences in Adoption (1 hour Creating a Family podcast)
- A Panel of Birth Moms Talk About Adoption (1 hour Creating a Family podcast)

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How Are Foster Care Adoption Matches Made? - Weekend Wisdom Jan 28, 2024

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Question: How are pre-adoptive matches made in foster care? I’ve heard that families may even need to network with social workers to be noticed when possible matches come up, but I’m not sure how matches are made.
Resources:

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

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Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

An Adoption Memoir with Susan Ito Jan 24, 2024

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Join us for a wonderful discussion with author and performer Susan Kiyo Ito about her new memoir, I Would Meet You Anywhere. This is a book adoptive parents should read!
In this episode, we cover:

It felt like much of the tension between you and your birth mother was due to her desire to keep you a secret and your desire to be seen. And also her desire to be in control of this relationship.
The harsh reality that adoption reunions between adoptees and birth families can be fraught with lots of conflicting emotions. In the book I Would Meet You Anywhere, you describe this tension. “Once again, I was the secret held by our mother. I was wilting under the weight of all the not telling. Still, I couldn't resist Yumi’s siren call. I would crash on the rocks of her.”
It’s not about us—the adoptive parents. It was your quest to be whole. Talk with us about your relationship with your parents—your adoptive parents –and yet still feeling a longing to understand and connect with your biological parents and roots.
Did reunion change your concept of what family is?
Primal wound.
Why is the phrase “You’re so lucky” so off the mark, even for someone like you who had what seems like a loving, not idyllic, but fine upbringing?
Japanese American parents raised you, but you sometimes felt not Japanese enough because of your white biological father. How have you made meaning out of your “biracialness”?
The importance of being in a community with other adopted people.
Has your birth mother read the book, and if so, has it impacted your relationship?