Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

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How Much Should I Prepare Ahead of Time for an Infant Adoption? - Weekend Wisdom Nov 30, 2024

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Question: My husband Sean and I are here in Canada and early in the adoption process. We are looking at private infant adoption through an adoption agency. My question is around getting ready. When we successfully match it is almost a certainty it will be with a newborn and there’s a 30% chance it’s a no-notice match and we have days rather than months to get ready. How would you recommend preparing? Do you think getting a crib, clothes, etc. is overkill? I’m a planner, so I love to be prepared! Thanks!
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Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

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Using Positive Childhood Experiences to Help Our Kids Heal Nov 27, 2024

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Can our kids heal from all the hard things they've experienced? Is there something we can do to help? Join us today to learn about the power of positive childhood experiences with Dr. Robert Sege, the director of the HOPE National Resource Center at Tufts Medical Center. He holds a MD degree from Harvard Medical School and a PhD degree in biology from Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
In this episode, we cover:

What are some of the benefits to kids from having positive childhood experiences?
You have identified four building blocks for positive childhood experiences. What are they and give us specific examples of what parents and caregivers can do in each block to promote these experiences?
How do these positive childhood experiences differ by age of the child?
Can positive childhood experiences mitigate the impact of adverse childhood experiences?
How can we help our kids be more resilient?
Are all stress and negative experiences in childhood bad for our kids?
Are there particular ages where kids are more receptive to the healing impact of positive childhood experiences?
Our audience includes foster, adoptive, and kinship parents. While adoptive parents have a lifetime with the kids (and kinship caregivers may also have the same), foster parents are usually a temporary landing place for a child while their parents work on getting them back. How much impact can you have if you only have the child for a few months or a year?

Resources:

HOPE National Resource Center

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How to Adopt from Foster Care While Living Abroad - Weekend Wisdom Nov 23, 2024

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Question: My husband and I were foster parents in the US, and have since relocated to Denmark for his work. We both still feel called to adopt from foster care, and would like to do that from the US. We know that the US and Denmark are both members of the Hague Convention, and can adopt from each other. You have great resources about international adoption, but usually from the perspective of a person in the US adopting from a foreign country. I'm wondering if you would consider doing a podcast episode on the process of a US citizen habitually resident in a foreign country adopting from US foster care.
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Transitioning Home as a Newly Adoptive Family Nov 20, 2024

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Are you planning to adopt or have you recently adopted? If so, you need to listen to this discussion about what to expect during the first few weeks or months you are home! Our guests are Michelle Kennedy and Deborah Artis. Michelle Kennedy has been a social worker with Methodist Home for Children for 27 years. She has direct care experience in residential and foster care services and has been working with youth and families in the foster-to-adopt process since 2005. Deborah Artis is a social worker and the Senior Program Director of foster care, adoption, and post-adoption with Children’s Home Society, where she has worked for 30 years.
In this episode, we cover:
Adopting a Newborn

What are some common emotions when adopting a newborn?
What are some common stresses when adopting a newborn?
How may the revocation period affect the transition to new adoptive parenting?
Expectations of extended family during this transition period.
How do the stresses of newly adopted families differ from a family that gives birth to their child?
How does the pre-adoption process affect this transition to new parenthood?
What are some feelings that come up about birth parents after the baby comes home?
Handling grief of the birth family.
Realities of open adoptions.
Feeling like the presence of a birth mom makes the adoptive mom less of a “real” mom.
The balance of power shifting from the expectant/birth mom to the adoptive mom.
How much of your child’s “story” should you share?
How can infertility struggles impact the transition period?

Adopting a Child Past Infancy

What are some common emotions when adopting a child from foster care or through international adoption?
What are some common stresses when adopting a child past infancy?
Integrating the new child into a family with other kids.
How to help your child and you settle into becoming a new family.

Post Adoption Depression

What is post-adoption depression?
What are the symptoms?
Blocked care.
How can post-adoption depression impact parenting?
How common is post-adoption depression?
Can fathers also have post-adoption depression?
Who is at risk for post-adoption depression? Are there ways to predict which people are more prone to post-adoption depression?
What are some steps to take to prevent post-adoption depression?
What should you do if you think you are suffering from post-adoption depression?

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My Bio Kids Now Wish We Hadn't Adopted Our Nephews - Weekend Wisdom Nov 16, 2024

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Question: My husband and I adopted our nephews four months ago. The two boys are sons of my niece; she gave her kids to the Family Department five years ago, and last year, we at last knew about the boys. They've been a year with us. I have a daughter, 21, and a son, 17, who were okay with the adoption, but now they say they feel this is not their home; they don’t feel at peace in their house and think It was not a good idea to adopt, because of the hard situations with the kids. How can we affirm to our biological children that we did the correct thing to give the kids a family and that there is a process we must go through as a family to adapt?
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Sibling Relationships

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Why Our Kids Drive Us Crazy Over the Holidays Nov 13, 2024

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Do your kids drive you crazy over the holidays? Does their behavior escalate? Join our conversation to learn why and what you can do about it. We will talk with Erin Nasmyth is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) with a Master’s in Social Work. She is the co-founder of Adoption Support Alliance, which provides services and support to adoptive families. She has worked in the public and private adoption and foster care system.
In this episode, we cover:

Is it common to see behavioral changes for the worse during the holiday season?
What are some of the behaviors you might see that allow our kids to drive us crazy?
What are some of the stressors that we may not recognize that cause these behaviors?
- New things
- New people
- Change in routines
- Parental distraction
- Past history with holidays
- Too much of everything-sensory overload
Practical ideas of how can we make the holidays smoother for our kids and for you
Ideas on how to get our family onboard for making these changes to our holidays to make it easier for our kids?

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How To Help a Child If the Birth Mom Hated Being Pregnant With Them? - Weekend Wisdom Nov 09, 2024

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Question: I see that you have information regarding prenatal substance exposure. Is there information regarding biological mothers that hate their pregnancy or their baby, but carry it to full term and put it up for adoption? Are there resources that would address the emotional impact on the baby?
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Prenatal Exposure: Diagnosing and Treatment Nov 06, 2024

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Do you wonder if your child was prenatally exposed to alcohol or drugs? There may be nothing in the files, but something feels not right? We talk about diagnosing and treating these kids with Dr. Larry Burd, a professor of pediatrics at the University of North Dakota School of Medicine and the Director of the North Dakota Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Center.
In this episode, we cover:

Most of our audience is foster, adoptive, and kinship parents and professionals. Often they don’t know for sure if a child has been exposed. The US government estimates that about 10% of all children in the US have been prenatally exposed to alcohol or drugs. Do you have a feel for the percentage of children in foster care or who have been involved with the child welfare system? International adoption? Domestic infant adoption?
Does prenatal exposure increase the likelihood of a disruption to a foster or adoptive placement?
How is prenatal exposure to alcohol detected or diagnosed?
What type of training do pediatricians receive during their education or residency on prenatal exposure and on how to diagnose?
Can you tell at birth or in infancy if a baby has been exposed to alcohol in utero?
How is prenatal exposure to drugs detected or diagnosed?
How does birth order change the likelihood that a child who is at risk has been exposed during pregnancy?
What are the long-term impacts of alcohol exposure? What are the symptoms that are most noticeable to parents, teachers, and other professionals working with these children?
Alcohol exposure affects multiple systems in the body.
Does it matter what type of alcohol was consumed?
Who can diagnose a child with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder?
What are the long-term impacts of the following drugs?
- Opioids
- Heroin and Fentanyl
- Depressants (benzodiazepines, such as Valium, Xanax)-Prescribed and unprescribed
- Stimulants-Prescribed and unprescribed
- Methamphetamines
- Marijuana
- Tobacco/Nicotine
Do pediatricians have a body of resources to offer parents regarding raising a child with prenatal exposure?
Tips for parents.

Tronick's Still Face Experiment

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Will Inducing Lactation for Breastfeeding an Adopted Baby Change My Breast or Cause Depression? - Weekend Wisdom Nov 02, 2024

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Question: I will ultimately decide on whether to try induced lactation to breastfeed an adopted baby on other factors, but I would like to make my decision with my eyes wide open. I like my breasts as they are, but I have been told all my life that pregnancy and breastfeeding change the breasts (making the breasts saggy and the nipples larger). Do adoptive parents who induce lactation suffer from similar issues? I have also heard of mothers who enter a depressive state during breastfeeding. Can you outline any other negative side effects of induced lactation?
Resources:

Breastfeeding the Adopted Child
Creating and Cultivating Attachment with Your Adopted Child
Post Adoption Depression

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Should You Consider Adopting a Child of Another Race or Ethnicity? Oct 30, 2024

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Should you adopt a child of a different race? What things should you consider? Join our conversation with Dr. Gina Samuels, an adult transracial adoptee and a Professor at the Crown Family School of Social Work, Policy, and Practice at the University of Chicago. She is also the Faculty Director of the Center for the Study of Race, Politics, and Culture. Her scholarly interests include transracial adoption and mixed-race and multiethnic identity formation. We are honored to have Dr. Samuels as the Chair of the Creating a Family Board.
In this episode, we cover:

If you are a White parent, are there different issues you need to consider depending on the race of the child you adopt?
Some families prefer to adopt a bi-racial child rather than a child who is all Black or all Latinx. What are the issues to consider?
Is there a difference between transracial and transcultural adoption?
What does it take to raise a child to have a healthy self and racial identity? How do they differ?
Unconscious overlap between self and racial identity for White people.
What are some of the issues parents should think about to determine if they are a family that should adopt across racial or ethnic lines?
What should parents be prepared to do in order to help their children develop a healthy sense of self?
Adoption is a family affair, so how should prospective adoptive parents prepare their extended family members for the adoption of a child of a different race or culture?
How do you protect your child from family members who may not approve or are racist?
What to do if you have someone in your family that you fear will not be accepting or will not treat your child fairly or is a racist?
How do you find role models that racially mirror your child?
Politic of transracial adoption in minority communities.
What does the research show on how transracially adopted children are doing?
What issues may come up with open adoption when adopting across racial lines?
Preparation for transracial adoption goes beyond hair care; hair and skin care are important. What should parents know?

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