Couples Counseling For Parents

How Understanding Yourself Strengthens Your Parenting and Partnership Nov 18, 2024

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What if understanding your past could transform your present relationships and parenting journey? This episode promises to guide you through the nuanced dynamics of becoming both a strong parent and partner, featuring the relatable story of Jude and Grant, who navigate the complexities of feeling disconnected amidst the whirlwind of parenting responsibilities. We unpack how personal histories shape our responses to stress and influence our parenting styles, enabling you to shift from reactive to intentional decision-making.
Explore the contrasting reactivity patterns with us—Grant's rigidity versus Jude's flexibility—and learn how empathy and communication can bridge the gap in any relationship. By recognizing behavior as a form of communication, this episode invites you to practice self-reflection and curiosity, shedding light on underlying issues and fostering healthier connections. We highlight the importance of supportive communities like Couples Counseling for Parents, creating an encouraging space for mutual growth and respect.
In our final chapter, we focus on rebuilding partnerships, offering practical strategies and workshops as a reset button for your relationship. By addressing real-life challenges such as the mental load at home or managing in-laws, you can reconnect meaningfully with your partner, even amidst the busyness of parenting. Join us on this journey of partnerhood, and help shape the partnership you truly desire. If you find our insights beneficial, don't forget to follow and rate us, spreading the word to others who may benefit from our story.

Avoiding the Passive-Aggressive Trap: Communication tips for Parenting Partners Nov 11, 2024

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Transform passive-aggressive tension into moments of connection with proven communication strategies for parenting partners. Join us, Dr. Stephen Mitchell and Erin Mitchell, as we explore how understanding the essential pause between feeling and reaction can change the dynamic of your relationship. Unpacking a scenario with Nora and Thad, we reveal how undetected emotions often lead to conflict and how recognizing these feelings can lead to healthier interactions. Discover the power of conscious choice—a pivotal step toward nurturing communication that fosters deeper connections.
Embrace vulnerability to elevate your relationship to new heights. By highlighting underlying desires and emotions, we demonstrate how couples can replace conflict with direct and empathetic dialogue. Learn the art of suspending offense to engage in open and honest conversations, transforming possible arguments into opportunities for connection. Finally, discover practical workshops designed to guide you through strengthening your partnership. Whether you're feeling disconnected or seeking new ways to engage, our journey into "partnerhood" offers a roadmap to the relationship you've always desired. Follow along and help us reach others by rating our podcast.

The Dilemma: Do I Need to Prioritize My Relationship Over My Kids? Nov 04, 2024

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Have you ever wondered if focusing too much on your kids might be pulling you away from your partner? Join us as we unravel this intricate conundrum through the lens of Regina and Sebastian, a couple attempting to juggle the needs of their relationship with the demands of raising three young children. This episode takes you on a journey beyond the surface-level conflicts to reveal the tender, unspoken plea of "I miss you" often hidden beneath the daily grind. With insights drawn from their story, we explore how couples can harmoniously nurture both their partnership and their family life.
We challenge the societal narrative that children automatically become hurdles to romantic relationships, inviting you to rethink how personal history and cultural expectations shape our perceptions. Regina and Sebastian's story serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of understanding one's own fears and desires, and how these can subtly influence relationship dynamics. By reframing the family not as competing responsibilities but as a united entity, we showcase how couples can find new ways to connect and grow together alongside their children.
Spontaneous moments, like a simple coffee break or an impromptu game, can reignite the spark between partners navigating the rigors of family life. We share practical strategies and introduce our Relationship Reconnection Series, designed for couples eager to understand their attachment styles and address stressors like parenting and in-laws. By fostering mutual understanding and shared experiences, couples can build a resilient partnership that stands strong amid life's challenges. Join us to learn how you can create meaningful connections with your partner while embracing the joys and trials of family life.

Navigating Nighttime Duties and Differing Parenting Styles Oct 28, 2024

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Unlock the secrets to a stronger parenting partnership as we explore the intricate interplay of trust and communication in relationships. What happens when differing parenting styles collide, especially during nighttime duties? Join us to uncover how real-life couple Devante and Steph navigate these challenges with their son, Tavon. Through their journey, you'll gain insights into recognizing underlying beliefs that fuel conflicts and learn strategies for building a harmonious parenting environment.
In this episode, we highlight the power of understanding and validating your partner's feelings to transform disagreements into opportunities for connection. Drawing from practical examples and resources like "Too Tired to Fight," we share actionable advice on handling common relationship tensions, whether it's feeling like the default parent or dealing with in-law dynamics. As Devante and Steph work towards a more supportive partnership, we emphasize the profound impact a healthy relationship can have on parenting. Prioritize connection over conflict and discover how every challenge can lead to growth and deeper trust.

Criticism and Conflict: How to Turn Tension Into Teamwork in Your Relationship Oct 21, 2024

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Have you ever found yourself caught in a whirlwind of negative banter with your partner, wondering how it all escalated so quickly? Join us as we explore the pitfalls of critical behavior in relationships through the story of Janelle and Hector. This episode reveals how picking at each other's imperfections can create a cycle of resentment and disconnection. We promise you'll walk away with practical strategies to foster appreciation and teamwork, transforming those tense moments into opportunities for a stronger partnership.
Stress in parenting partnerships can often lead to rigidity and heightened criticism over small, everyday matters. Explore the dynamics of perceived and actual imbalances in relationships and learn how these can lead to feelings of being undervalued. Through candid discussions, we highlight the importance of recognizing each partner's efforts and maintaining a supportive bond. Communication and understanding are key, and we delve into the power of addressing inequalities to create a healthy and thriving relationship.
Finally, we provide a roadmap for turning conflict into connection, using Hector and Janelle's journey as a guide. By embracing each conflict as a chance for growth, we uncover strategies that help recognize the full scope of contributions each partner makes. Discover how shifting perspectives and acknowledging each other's values can transform your interactions, breaking the cycle of repetitive arguments. Listen in for valuable insights and tools to build a more harmonious and loving relationship with your partner.

What Happened to Our Sex Life: Intimacy After Baby Oct 14, 2024

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What happens to intimacy when children enter the picture? Many parents find themselves asking this question, and we're here to provide some insights. Join us, Dr. Stephen and Erin Mitchell, as we untangle the complex web of maintaining a healthy sex life post-kids. Through the relatable journey of Whitney and Rupal, we highlight the challenges that can strain intimacy, such as exhaustion and body image concerns, and how these can impact communication and connection between partners.
Understanding how intimacy and communication evolve is crucial for any relationship, especially when life gets busy with kids. We break down the ways partners can impact each other's needs for connection and intimacy. It's not just about gender roles—these dynamics shift and change over time. By examining Whitney and Rupal's story, we offer insight into how recognizing and addressing personal tendencies can strengthen relationships. Reflecting on personal histories can reveal much about our expressions of love and why we seek connection in different ways.
Finally, we explore how conflicts can be transformed into moments of connection. From feeling like the default parent to navigating tricky in-law dynamics, every disagreement holds the potential to deepen understanding between partners. Drawing from our book, "Too Tired to Fight," we provide practical steps to turn conflicts into opportunities for growth. Join our community as we share guidance, support, and stories that can help you enhance your relationship, moving beyond conflict to build stronger bonds.

How to Make Up After a Fight Oct 07, 2024

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Have you ever had a fight with your partner that left you both feeling distant and unsure of how to reconnect? In this episode of Couples Counseling for Parents, Erin and Dr. Stephen Mitchell dive deep into the art of repairing after conflict. Using the relatable story of Trey and Addie, they illustrate how unresolved arguments can create emotional distance, while offering practical scripts and steps to help you break the cycle.

You’ll learn about the importance of acknowledgment, validation, and action when it comes to making up after a fight. Erin and Stephen explore how our childhood experiences with conflict shape our adult relationships, and how shifting from defensiveness to understanding can foster deeper connection. With real-life examples and actionable advice, this episode will guide you toward healthier communication and stronger bonds with your partner—especially when things get tough.

Tune in for expert advice, thoughtful reflections, and practical scripts you can use to reconnect after your next argument. Whether it’s a small disagreement or an ongoing conflict, you’ll leave this episode with the tools to bridge the gap and restore closeness in your relationship.

Finding Your Reset Sep 30, 2024

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In today's episode, Stephen and Erin tackle the feeling many couples experience after kids—that sinking thought that "maybe I’ll never feel truly loved or appreciated." Using the high-stress periods of pregnancy and birth as a case study, they break down how partners can lose sight of each other’s needs and how to reset that dynamic for good. If you’re ready to stop feeling stuck and start feeling connected, this episode is for you.

And don’t forget to check out their book, Too Tired to Fight, which dives even deeper into the 13 conflicts every couple needs to have—available now wherever you get your books.

My In-laws are driving me crazy!!! Aug 20, 2024

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One of the most complex relationships to navigate for parenting partners is relationships with their parents and in-laws. What can parenting partners do to have healthy relationships with their parents/in-laws and give their kids strong relationship with grandparents? Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP answer this question and so many more in this episode.

My partner keeps telling me I need to talk about my emotions, why does it matter? Aug 02, 2024

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Does talking about emotions matter? We see so many couples were one partner's primary complaint is that their partner cannot talk about how they feel. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss whether talking about emotions matters and what couples can do to resolve this conflict.

My Partner is So Needy! Jul 05, 2024

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Is the preoccupied attachment style really just needy? We examine how childhood experiences shape adult relationships, focusing on preoccupied attachment. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss what preoccupied attachment is, how it impacts a couple relationship, and how partner's can stay connected if one of them is preoccupied.

My Partner Has No Emotions! Jun 28, 2024

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Ever wondered if an avoidant partner can truly connect emotionally? We examine how childhood experiences shape adult relationships, focusing on avoidant attachment. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss what avoidant attachment is, how it impacts a couple relationship, and how partner's can stay connected if one of them is avoidantly attached.

Do You Love Me, Do You Want Me, Do You Accept Me?-Three Important Questions Parenting Partners Ask Each Other Every Day May 24, 2024

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There are three questions that parenting partners are asking one another every day. They might not be asking them directly but in their conflict, in their frustration, in their stress these are the questions that underline all of these interactions. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP tell you what the questions are and how you can your partner can answer them in the affirmative for one another.

It's something every couple with kids feels but doesn't talk about: Loneliness. May 10, 2024

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It's something most parenting partners feel but no one really talks about: Loneliness. That's right. Many parenting partners find themselves feeling lonely during the parenting years and it can be hard to talk about with your partner. This feeling of loneliness can also be an underlying factor for some of the stress, conflict, and hurt feelings parenting partners feel and have regarding one another. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP talk about their own experience of Loneliness as parenting partners and what you and your partner can do to address this silent issue.

The Art of Partner Support in Pregnancy, Postpartum, and Beyond! Apr 26, 2024

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If your partner has ever been pregnant. If you have ever had a partner in the postpartum phase of parenting. If you are a parent period. You need to hear this! Being aware of the impact of pregnancy and postpartum on your partner's body matters. Even if you are beyond this phase of your parenting journey, it matters! Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP help you understand "why?" in this weeks episode.

I'm The Default Parent!-A Conversation Every Couple Needs To Have Apr 19, 2024

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No one likes having the default parent conversation because it typically ends up in both partners getting frustrated and going to their separate corners. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell MACP help you understand how to have the conversation differently and in a way that will actually change your couple relationship for the better.

"We Just Don't Feel Connected Anymore"-How Couples Can Get Reconnected in the Midst of Parenting Apr 05, 2024

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Have you ever caught yourself wondering how the spark you once had with your partner could disappear so fast? Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss how the "little" moments of everyday parenting life can lead to disconnection, and how these "little" moments can also be what keeps you connected.

What is the 80/80 Marriage?: An Interview with Kaley Klemp and Nate Klemp, PhD Mar 22, 2024

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Discover a refreshing take on love and commitment as Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP sit down with Nate and Kaley Klemp, authors of "The 80/80 Marriage." https://www.8080marriage.com/

Thriving Together While Tackling Career and Family Demands Mar 08, 2024

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We hear it all the time, "My partner cares more about their job than our family." Or "My partner's job gets the best parts of them and we get what's left over at home." Work is something that happens everyday and is big source of conflict and hurt in parenting partner relationships. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP offer a two step process for how couples can discuss work, family life, and staying connected as partners through it all.

My Partner's Mental Health is Negatively Impacting Our Home Feb 29, 2024

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What do you do when you think your partner's mental health is negatively impacting your family? How do you bring it up? What if your partner dismisses your concerns? Join Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP as we shed light on the profound impact that conditions such as anxiety, depression, ADHD, and unresolved trauma can have on a family. This episode is an invitation to acknowledge, address, and approach these struggles with the compassion and awareness they deserve, ensuring that these issues don't remain in the shadows to disrupt the harmony at home.

When Stress is Driving Your Couple Relationship Feb 22, 2024

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Every relationship faces the siege of stress, but how we navigate through this inevitable reality makes all the difference. Imagine this case example: Josh, retreating into his shell under the pressure of life's stress, leaves Lindsay spinning plates to maintain the family's harmony. Their story may sound familiar, and we're peeling back the layers to discover why Josh's withdrawal and Lindsay's increasing load brew the perfect storm of miscommunication.
Listen along as Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP guide you through the choppy waters of coping with stress and the burden it places on our partners, you'll gain insights into the silent battles that many couples face and how to navigate them with grace and understanding.

Navigating Love and ADHD: An Interview with ADHD Advocate and Coach Katy Weber Feb 15, 2024

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Every parenting partnership has its struggles, but when ADHD is in the mix, it's like navigating an intricate dance of dopamine, interest, and misunderstanding. Katy Weber shares her wisdom on fostering teamwork in a couple relationship impacted by ADHD and reframing ADHD as a joint adventure rather than a solitary battle.
Join Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP as they talk with Katy about this unique and challenging couple dynamic and share some of their own story about being impacted by ADHD symptoms in their parenting partner relationship.

When A Relationship Feels One-sided Feb 08, 2024

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Feeling like you're paddling a two-person canoe alone can be exhausting, but it's a situation commonly felt in parenting partner relationships. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss how this dynamic happens in parenting partner relationships and how parenting partners can start paddling the canoe together.

Interview with Rachel and Marley Shepard-Ohta of Heysleepybaby Feb 01, 2024

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On our latest podcast, we're joined by Rachel and Marley Shepard -Ohta from HeySleepyBaby, who share their experience navigating the wild ride that is understanding kids and sleep.
Join Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP as they share this dynamic and insightful conversation with Rachel and Marley from HeySleepyBaby.

Can Kids Ruin Your Couple Relationship? Jan 25, 2024

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Erin Mitchell, MACP and Stephen Mitchell, PhD unwrap the complexities of parenthood and its impact on couples. We crack open the often-misunderstood narrative that children are the wrecking ball of romance, with a sprinkle of humor and personal tales like Stephen's own 'eye-opening' parenting injury.
Strap in as they navigate the seismic shift in dynamics that a new child brings, particularly focusing on the 'default parent' phenomenon. The Mitchell's candid conversation sheds light on the essential growth both partners must commit to, to preserve their connection amid the new context of being parents.

The Invisible Wall: Addressing Resentment in Your Relationship Oct 05, 2023

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Ready to unravel the knotty issue of resentment lurking in your relationship? Today, we're stripping down and tackling this common, yet often unspoken, issue that silently strains and stresses many parenting partner relationships.
In our candid conversation, we shed light on how resentment can spring from significant life decisions and disagreements such as having children or choosing a school. We reveal how such resentment can stem from feeling unheard or when one partner’s desires are not fulfilled. Furthermore, we delve into the reality of how this bitter emotion can manifest and create a rift between couples, affecting your happiness and peace. So, whether you're dealing with resentment or you're trying to barricade it from encroaching on your relationship, tune in as Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP help you resolve resentment in your partner relationship.

Sometimes I Think Parenting Is Easier Without My Partner—How Do I Tell Them? Sep 29, 2023

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Ever feel a strange sense of relief when your partner is not around and you're handling the parenting duties solo? Let's be real, it's not uncommon. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss how partners can talk about this sensitive topic in a way that brings understanding and connection.

How Can I Set Boundaries With My In-laws? Sep 14, 2023

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Who says setting boundaries with in-laws and extended family has to be a negative experience? Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP tell you how boundary setting can foster healthier interactions within your couple relationship and your relationship with extended family.

How You Parent Can Significantly Impact How Connected You Feel To Your Partner Sep 07, 2023

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The way you parent can indeed influence your partner's feelings towards you, and the level of connection you feel as parenting partners. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss why how you parent is so important to your couple relationship and feeling connected as a couple.

Stop Micromanaging My Parenting: A Little Twist On The Default Parent Conflict Aug 24, 2023

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Talking with your partner about being the default parent is one of the most challenging conversations for any couple! At the same time the non-default parent can feel like they are trying to do more than be a "helper" but feel like their partner is micro-managing how they parent. How can parenting partner's have this conversation in a way that brings resolution. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP have the solution. Listen and find out.

Why Do Couples Seem To Fight More When They Become Parents? Aug 17, 2023

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Sometimes being in a couple relationship and being parents just feels so hard!! Why does parenting introduce a new level of hard into couple relationships. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP tell you why.

What Every Stay-at-Home-Parent Wants Their Partner To Know!! Aug 10, 2023

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One of the most talked about conflicts we see with couples is how to balance the roles and responsibilities between a partner that works full-time and a partner that stays at home full-time. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP offer a solution to this conflict.

What Are We Really Fighting About?-The Real Issue Behind Every Parenting Partner Conflict Aug 02, 2023

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Parenting partner conflict happens and many times couples focus on the wrong thing when they disagree. What are parenting partners really fighting about? Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell MACP give you the reason behind every parenting partner conflict and the "how to" fix it.

Want To Communicate Better?--Then Do This Apr 06, 2023

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One of the keys to effective partner communication is knowing how you have been impacted by your home environment (positively and negatively). Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss why this matters and how knowing the impact of your past can free you to have the future you want as a couple and family.

How To Talk to Your Partner and Kids About Tragedy-Addressing The Recent School Shootings in Denver and Nashville Mar 29, 2023

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Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP address how couples can talk to one another about the recent school shootings in Denver and Nashville and how to talk with kids about these events.

"My Partner Makes Me Feel..."-Why This Statement Misses The Point Mar 01, 2023

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We hear it a lot from couples: "My partner did this and made me feel..." Can we make our partner's feel a certain way? Are we responsible for our own feelings? Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell MACP tackle these questions in this weeks show.

Want To Stop Having A Dead End Dialogue About The Mental Load?-Here's How. Feb 21, 2023

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Want to stop having a dead end dialogue about the mental load? Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP talk about the mental load because the mental load is always present and often tough to talk about as parenting partners. Here is a way to never have the same old conversation again and actually get somewhere as a couple on this topic.

"We'll Never Feel Connected Again"--How To Get In The Habit Of Connecting With Your Partner. Feb 07, 2023

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Disconnection is normal in every parenting partner relationship. Want to know how to make feeling connected normal too? Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP will tell you how.

"I Don't Like The Way You Parent"--Now What Do We Do? Jan 25, 2023

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It is not uncommon for parents to be critical of one another's parenting. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss what might be behind some of the challenges we face as parents and how talk with one another about them.

"Nothing I Do Is Enough..."-The Cycle Of Disappointment and Disengagement In Parenting Partner Relationships Jan 17, 2023

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The Cycle of Disappointment and Disengagement is one of the most common cycles in parenting partner relationships. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss how to break this cycle in parenting partner relationships.

"It's Not Me, It's My Partner"- How Can Change Happen In A Parenting Partner Relationship Jan 10, 2023

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Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss how parenting partners can get on the same page and make the changes they both want to have a more connected relationship.

How Your Couple Relationship Can Survive The Holidays Dec 14, 2022

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The holidays can be a wonderful time of feeling connected and together as a family. They also are stressful and many couples find that their relationship feels worn out and strained after all the festivities are over. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss how you and your partner can come out of the holidays feeling connected.

Want A Cheat Code For Apologizing In Your Parenting Partner Relationship?--Here It Is! Dec 06, 2022

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What is an apology and why is it so hard to apologize in your parenting partner relationship? Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP give you a "cheat code" for how to apologize in your couple relationship.

Want To Know One Of The Best Ways To Stay Connected As A Family And Couple? Do This... Nov 22, 2022

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If you and your partner want to stay connected and you want to build a sense of safety for your kids...You should tell more stories. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP talk about how you and your partner can strengthen your relationship and help your kids feel safe by telling one another stories.

3 Mistakes You And Your Partner Are Making And What To Do About Them Nov 15, 2022

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There are 3 mistakes that you and your partner could be making that are leading to feeling disconnected. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss these mistakes and help couples learn how not to make them.

Every Couple Needs To Hear This!- How To Weather Hard Times As Parenting Partners Nov 08, 2022

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At some point in every parenting partner relationship a couple will face hard times. Hard times like receiving a scary diagnosis, infertility, death of a child, death of a loved one, struggling to feel at home as a parent...you name it. When these times come how can a couple make it through? Stephen Mitchell PhD and Erin Mitchell MACP give couples three things to hold onto in these moments that will help you and your partner make it.

Should We Keep Talking About This Or Not?-Knowing When To Have Conflict In Front of Your Kids Nov 02, 2022

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Having couple conflict when your kids are in the same room happens as parents. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss how couples can determine if this is a moment for modeling healthy conflict or a moment to avoid as parents.

Resentment: How to Keep it From Ruining Your Parenting Partner Relationship Oct 25, 2022

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Resentment has a stacking effect in parenting partner relationships. Over time it stacks up and leads to serious conflict and hurt. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss how resentment stacks up in couple relationships, how to tell if it has happened in your relationship, and how to keep it from ruining your parenting partner relationship.

"Sometimes It Feels Better To Parent Alone"-How To Handle Transitions In Your Parenting Partner Relationship Oct 11, 2022

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What we mean here is transitions like getting ready in the morning, coming back home from work or transitions that happen when you have a partner in the military who is gone frequently or travels a lot for business. However, the transition happens in your parenting partner relationship many couples find that they experience increased stress, increased conflict, challenges communicating, and struggle to feel like a parenting team. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss how you and your partner can stay connected and stay a parenting team in the midst of life's transitions.

"You Are Critical...No, You Are Critical"-How To Break The Cycle Of Criticism In Your Parenting Partner Relationship Oct 04, 2022

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Being critical or feeling criticized is something every parenting partner experiences. This pattern often leads to conflicts and resentment in parenting partner relationships. Want to know how to shift this pattern? Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss how criticism can become a part of every couple relationship and how to "get rid" of it.

"My Partner Is Not Meeting My Needs"-How To Get Your Needs Met In Your Parenting Partner Relationship Sep 27, 2022

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One of the most common struggles for parenting partners is feeling like their partner is not meeting their needs. We all have needs in relationships. How can you get your needs met in your relationship? Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss how partners can identify their needs, express their needs, and meet one another's needs.

"What Did You Say To Me?!?"-How To Stop Being Reactionary In Your Couple Communication Sep 21, 2022

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What is the difference between reacting and responding when communicating with your partner? Is one a healthier way to communicate than the other? Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss these questions and give you some tips on how to implement healthier communication in your parenting partner relationship.

The Silent Killers Of A Couple Relationship-What Are They And How To Avoid Them Sep 13, 2022

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What are the silent killers in a couple relationship? Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss what the silent killers are and how to avoid them.

"I Just Can't Say 'No'"-What Are Boundaries And How You And Your Partner Can Set Them Aug 30, 2022

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From in-laws to finances to work to technology, it can be hard for parenting partners to define and set healthy boundaries. What are boundaries and why is it so hard to set healthy ones? Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss the purpose of boundaries and how parenting partners can define and set healthy boundaries.

Do You Want To Stop Fighting?-Here's How Aug 16, 2022

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Are you tired of dead end dialogues in your parenting partner relationship? Do you keep having the same fight over and over again with nothing changing? Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP talk about how parenting partners can stop fighting and actually "get somewhere" when they disagree.

"I'm Not Crying, You're Crying"-Coping With Grief As Parenting Partners Aug 09, 2022

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One of the most common barriers to parenting partners connecting is grief. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP share how to cope with grief and stay connected as parenting partners.

"Let's Talk About Mental Load"-One Of The Hardest Conversations For Parenting Partners To Have! Aug 02, 2022

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Talking about mental load as parenting partners is one of the hardest conversations to have! Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP share their own experience of how they have unsuccessfully and successfully navigated this topic.

"We've Lost Our Spark! How Do We Get It Back?" Jul 19, 2022

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What do you do as parenting partners when you feel like you have lost your "spark"? Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss how couples can rediscover their spark.

"I AM TIRED...NO, I'M TIRED"-How To Talk About Being Tired With Your Parenting Partner Jul 12, 2022

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This is one of the most challenging conversations for parenting partners to have without getting defensive. Parenting is hard. Parenting makes you both tired. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss how the goal in this conversation is to understand what tired means for your partner and to try and make changes to support them.

"We Can't Agree On Parenting Styles!"-How To Have This Difficult Conversation Jun 28, 2022

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We hear this all the time: "My partner and I can't agree about parenting styles!" Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP share how to have this conversation as a parenting team rather than parenting adversaries.

"We Just Aren't Compatible Anymore"-Being Partners In The New Context Of Parenting Jun 21, 2022

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Many couples feel that they “lose” compatibility with their partner post-kids.
“We used to agree on everything…We used to want to spend time together…We used to have the same goals…Now we can’t agree on anything (parenting styles, sleep, how the kids eat, in-laws etc)…We don’t even want to be around each other we are so tired and just want to sleep…It feels like we don’t want the same things anymore.”
Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss the radical change that parenting brings to a partner relationship and how to keep discovering your compatibility as parenting partners.

"What I Wish We Knew Back Then!"-A Conversation With Your Younger Selves As a Couple Jun 07, 2022

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What advice would you and your partner give your younger couple selves? Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell MACP discuss some of the advice couples have said they wish they knew back then. Also, they will share their personal thoughts about what advice they would share with their younger couples selves.

"I'm Too Stressed To Feel Close To My Partner"-The Magic Formula For Staying Connected As Partners In Parenting Stress May 24, 2022

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Parenting is chaotic and stressful. Stress is overwhelming. Overwhelmed people act overwhelmed. They shut down, numb, distract, get hyper vigilante, feel angry, spin out of control in the whirlwind of their thoughts, and generally find it difficult to connect with others. How can parenting partners navigate the day-to-day stress of parenting and still feel connected? Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP offer couples the "magic formula" for staying connected in the everyday stress of parenting.

"I Think We Need Help...I Think We Are Fine"-How To Talk About Wanting Help In Your Relationship May 17, 2022

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How can parenting partners navigate the moment in their relationship when one says to the other, “I don’t think we are doing okay and I want to get some help,” and their partner responds, “We are fine, things are not that bad.”

This is not an uncommon occurrence for many parenting partners or any couple for that matter. It taps into both partner's vulnerability. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss how this conversation can be one of connection rather than conflict.

How Not To Have A Disappointing Mother's Day May 03, 2022

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Mother's Day is coming this weekend and for many parenting partners the day can feel a bit intimidating and potentially disappointing. What makes for a meaningful Mother's Day and how can partners make sure they make the mom to their kids feel special? Dr. Stephen Mitchell and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss the one key component needed to have a great Mother's Day.

"Wanna Have Sex?"-How Your Personality Can Influence Your Parenting Partner Sex Life Apr 26, 2022

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One of the many things that changes when couples move into the parenting years is their sex life. One of the primary things that influences a couple's sex life is each partner's personality. Dr. Stephen Mitchell and Erin Mitchell, MACP talk about how being introverted or extroverted can shape parenting partners conversations about sex and how much sex they have.

What To Say When Your Partner Says, "I'm Feeling Sick" Apr 19, 2022

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Yes, for many this little phrase can be triggering for the "well" partner that hears it and triggering for the "sick" partner that says it. What is behind this simply little phrase causing so much disconnection in a parenting partner relationship? Dr. Stephen Mitchell and Erin Mitchell, MACP unpack some of the stories that might be informing this common parenting partner dynamic and offer some practical ways to stay connected when one partner says "I am feeling sick."

"Excuse Me! What Did You Say?"-How To Take The Passive Aggressive Out Of Parenting Partner Communication Apr 12, 2022

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Parenting is a never ending river of tasks, responsibilities, worries, joy, tender moments, tears, comical exchanges etc. Parenting is constant and in the constancy of parenting many couples find themselves trying to survive the day and get to the next day. This survival mentality makes it hard to communicate and with this many things get left unsaid. These unsaid things begin to pile up and morph into resentments that emerge in passive aggressive communication. Dr. Stephen Mitchell and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss how to break this cycle of communication and connect as parenting partners.

"I Want You To Want Me"-Where Did Desire Go In Our Parenting Partner Relationship? Apr 05, 2022

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Desire can feel elusive for many parenting partners. A couple that once felt close, passionate, and full of desire, can feel tired, alone, and unwanted within the new context of parenting. This shift is normal and happens not because the kids or your partner did something wrong, but simply because the context has changed. Dr. Stephen Mitchell and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss how couples can rediscover their desire and stay connected as parents.
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"I Don't Know How To Give My Partner Feedback!"-Giving and Receiving Feedback In Parenting Partner Relationships Mar 30, 2022

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Parenting is a new endeavor for a couple. Each pregnancy, each kid bring with it scenarios and situations that are unique and uncharted territory for a couple. So, in this process of parenting both partners are going to have ideas about how to parent, make “mistakes” that they need to learn from, and have certain blindspots in their parenting that need to be brought into view. Dr. Stephen Mitchell and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss how parenting partners can collaborate with one another and offer one another feedback about what is going well and areas for growth.

"Do You Not See What I'm Doing Here?"-How To Encourage One Another As Parenting Partners Mar 22, 2022

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The idea that everyone needs praise, affirmation, or encouragement can be counter to what our society teaches and what we learned in our own family of origin. Our culture says, "Be independent, be your own confidence." Your family of origin might have convinced you it is weak or silly to need anything from anyone. Dr. Stephen Mitchell and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss how and why every parenting partner needs encouragement and how to give it.

"We Are Just Roommates"-How To Stay Connected To Your Partner As You Parent Mar 15, 2022

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You've heard it and maybe you have even felt it as a parenting partner. "We are just roommates." What can couples do, especially in the first year postpartum, to stay connected. Dr. Stephen Mitchell and Erin Mitchell, MACP offer some practical steps couples can take to stay intentional about connecting as parents.

"Help! We Feel Stuck!"-How Parenting Partners Can Change Stuck Patterns Of Communication Mar 08, 2022

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"We feel stuck!" How do you change patterns of communication in your parenting partner relationship. So many couples feel like they have the same tired conversations, the same conflicts, and end up feeling the same feelings of invalidation and frustration. Dr. Stephen Mitchell and Erin Mitchell, MACP identify 4 common patterns of stuck communication in parenting partner relationships and how to get unstuck.

"Just Relax!"-When Your Partner's Stress Stresses You Out Mar 01, 2022

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Everyone copes differently with stress. But when your partner copes with stress differently it can get messy. The difference can get parenting partners in a tug of war that says, “If you would respond to stress the way I do you would feel better.” But what partners are really saying to each other is, “If you would respond to stress the way I do I would feel better.” Dr. Stephen Mitchell and Erin Mitchell, MACP address this all too common dynamic for parenting partners and give 4 tips for working through this conflict.

"Wait, You're Mad At Me Because I Took A Shower?!": Navigating Inequity Between Parenting Partners Feb 22, 2022

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Parenting changes a couple's world. Yet, the change is not equitable. This is one of the most profound areas of conflict, dismissal, and pain for parenting partners. Dr. Stephen Mitchell and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss how inequity between parenting partners is real, has to be discussed for the health of the couple relationship, and how to navigate this important and ongoing conversation.

You Aren't Enough and You Aren't Doing Enough: How The Not Enough Cycle Influences Every Parenting Partner Relationship Feb 15, 2022

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Which sounds more like you in your parenting partner relationship: My partner would love me or pay attention to my needs if they felt I was enough or my partner is always telling me that I am not doing enough in our relationship? Welcome to the Not Enough Cycle that most parenting partners find themselves circling around in. In this episode Dr. Stephen Mitchell and Erin Mitchell, MACP describe what the not enough cycle is and how parenting partners can get out of it.

Parenting In A Pandemic: How Has Stress Shaped Your Couple Relationship? Feb 08, 2022

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How has the global pandemic impacted your parenting partner relationship? Dr. Stephen Mitchell and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss the importance of couples understanding their stress response to the pandemic and how it has shaped their couple relationship.

Valentine's Day, A Day For Lovers or A Perfect Set-up For Disappointment?: How To Identify and Communicate Expectations Feb 01, 2022

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It's February and many parenting partners will be thinking about Valentine's Day. Sometimes it's the special days that can bring the most pressure to meet your partner's expectations and can leave many couples disappointed when expectations are not met. However, these "big" days can simply be a reflection of how parenting partners communicate about expectations in their day-to-day. In this episode Dr. Stephen Mitchell and Erin Mitchell, MACP talk about how to discover what your expectations are, how to communicate them, and how to get out of the cycle of conflict that unmet expectations can create.

"I'm More Tired Than You": Why We Hear What Our Partner Didn't Say Jan 25, 2022

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It happens all the time for parenting partners, you hear what your partner is not saying. They say, "I'm tired" you hear them say, "I'm more tired than you." Why does this happen for parenting partners and what can they do to stop hearing what their partner is not saying? In todays episode Dr. Stephen Mitchell and Erin Mitchell, MACP give parenting couples a clear strategy for actually hearing what your partner is saying.

I'm Not Scared: How To Talk About Parenting Fears With Your Partner Jan 19, 2022

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Parenting is a massive transition and change that can stir up fears for partners. Fears about failure, losing someone you love, feeling confused, feeling alone etc. Many times couples don't know how to talk with one another about these fears because they are afraid it will sound foolish, make their partner angry, or they just don't know what to say. This can lead to a feeling of disconnection. In this episode we talk about how partners can talk with one another about their fears and stay connected.

Touched Out!-A Parenting Couples Guide To Touch Jan 11, 2022

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For many parenting couples physical touch can be complex and a topic of conflict. In fact it can feel like a daily opportunity to feel rejected, abandoned, disrespected, ignored, and controlled. How does the parenting context influence touch in your couple relationship? How can you and your partner communicate respectfully and honestly about your needs related to touch?

The Dishes Aren't Done Yet?-Parenting Couples and Communication Dec 28, 2021

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Parenting couples are tired and stressed. How do you communicate respectfully and productively as a parenting couple when you are exhausted and stressed? This context is hard to change during the parenting years so couples have to learn to communicate in the midst of feeling tired and stressed. In this episode we give you 4 practical steps you can take to develop an "open" communication posture that can help you through the tired and stressful times, and improve your couple communication.

When You Hear Your Partner Snap At Your Kid: The Dinosaur Pants Disaster Dec 21, 2021

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What happens when you hear your partner snap at your kid? Many couples find that this scenario leads to conflict and disconnection in their couple relationship. In this episode we explore some of the deeper psychological factors that are at play in this scenario and give couples practical scripts to use to reduce conflict and enhance communication.

A Lack of Healthy, Involved Grandparents Can Be A Real Strain On A Couple Dec 14, 2021

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Grandparents can be such a wonderful and vital part of your kids lives! Also, grandparents can be a significant support and help to your couple relationship. The loss of healthy, involved grandparents can be a profound grief for couples. This loss can be due to death, mental illness, distance, toxicity, conflict, etc. Whatever the reason, partners need to understand how this grief impacts them individually and their couple relationship. Without understanding, the grief can create disconnection between partners. As the holidays draw near and idyllic time with family is in every song and movie, this episode can help you and your partner navigate your story of loss. This can help you both feel understood and connected this holiday season.

Pregnancy and Postpartum: The Birthplace of Resentment for Parenting Couples Dec 05, 2021

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The contextual pressure cooker of pregnancy and postpartum can challenge a couple's capacity for coping with stress. As each partner struggles individually with stress, they can miss their partner's experience. This can be felt in countless little moments of feeling overlooked, misunderstood, or invalidated by one another, and these little moments can grow into big feelings of resentment between partners.
How can partner's work through resentment that was birthed in pregnancy and postpartum and still impacts their relationship weeks, months, and years later?
Dr. Stephen Mitchell and Erin Mitchell, MACP have lived this experience and helped countless couples navigate resentment birthed during pregnancy and postpartum. Hear their story and what they have learned from helping other couples overcome resentment.
For more from Stephen and Erin check out their website createyourcouplestory.com and follow them on Instagram @couples.counseling.for.parents

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