Counselling Tutor Podcast

Latest Episodes:

211 – Self-Disclosure and Immediacy in Counselling Dec 18, 2021

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Choosing Your Ethical Body - Engaging with Supervision In Episode 211 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, your hosts Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly return with three more topics: First in 'Counselling Foundations', Ken and Rory will go over self-disclosure and immediacy in counselling. Then in 'Focus on Self', we'll look at choosing your ethical body. And finally in this week's 'Practice Matters', Ken will speak with our very own Rory Lees-Oakes on his upcoming lecture about engaging with supervision. Self-Disclosure and Immediacy in Counselling [starts in 1:55 mins] In this week's 'Counselling Foundations', listen as Rory and Ken discuss the skill of immediacy and the important role it can play in the relationship with your client when used correctly. In this discussion on self-disclosure and immediacy in counselling, the key points raised include: Immediacy is a therapeutic skill - used to cement, repair and strengthen the therapeutic relationship. Brings in your own frame of reference. Speaking about the unspoken - allows the client to see you differently. You must be thoughtful about what you disclose and how. It takes maturity in the therapeutic relationship with the client - it is a skill that will sharpen as it goes on. Requires a built-up relationship before it can be used. Choosing Your Ethical Body [starts in 19:27 mins] In this section, Rory and Ken discuss choosing the ethical body that's right for you - and recognising that you do have a choice when it comes to picking the one that most aligns with your values: Check that you're choosing a professional ethical body, not an organisation. Have a look at their websites and talk with your peers. Choose one that aligns with the values that you uphold in your practice. Look at what benefits they offer. Take the time to look around - even if you currently have a body that you've been with for a while. Engaging with Supervision [starts 30:49 mins] In today's 'Practice Matters', Ken speaks with Rory Lees-Oakes about his upcoming lecture on engaging with supervision, which will be free for anyone to attend on the 2nd January 2022. The key points of this section include: Understanding what supervision is about will help you make the most of your own supervision. Your supervisor needs to be someone you can trust and communicate with. You want a supervisor who understands that counselling is relational, not procedural. It's okay to change your supervisor - what got you here, might not get you there. Links and Resources Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide Counsellor CPD Counselling Study Resource Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide Counselling Tutor Shop Facebook group Website Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner's Guide Online and Telephone Counselling Course

210 – Erotic Transference in Therapy Dec 11, 2021

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Attending in Counselling - Crying with Your Client In Episode 210 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, your hosts Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly discuss this week's three topics: In this episode's 'Counselling Foundations', we look at attending when a client first arrives. Next in 'Focus on Self', Rory and Ken discuss crying with your client. And lastly in 'Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Sally Openshaw on erotic transference in therapy. Attending in Counselling [starts in 1:35 mins] Greeting your client when they first arrive can be a crucial but forgotten step of the counselling process and in this section, Rory and Ken discuss some of the ways you can fulfill this initial interaction and the reasons it can be deemed so important: Making sure your client is comfortable. Human to human interaction, checking in with your client. Normalising the environment in order to create the safest space possible. Active attending - being present. Crying with Your Client [starts in 9:55 mins] Sometimes the material a client brings with them can be emotionally provoking, and being able to deal with this in a professional manner is important. The key points discussed on this topic include: Empathy is natural. Tears express emotion - both the good and the bad. Be aware of where this emotion is coming from - is it empathy or transference? Ask yourself if your tears are for your client or for your own situation. Think about what your tears will say to your client. Recognise the difference between shedding a tear and bursting into tears - be aware of what you can handle, explore this in supervision. Welcome the emotion, but in a professional and informed manner. Erotic Transference in Therapy [starts in 20:37 mins] This week, Rory speaks with Sally Openshaw on erotic transference. The key points outlined in this discussion include: Erotic transference in therapy shouldn't be ignored - you need to know how to manage it. As a therapist, we set up the perfect environment for erotic transference. Learning the importance of your initial reaction and how you can develop this in order to deal with it better. Talk about it in supervision or in peer groups. Links and Resources Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide Counsellor CPD Counselling Study Resource Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide Counselling Tutor Shop Facebook group Website Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner's Guide Online and Telephone Counselling Course

209 – Working as a School Counsellor Dec 04, 2021

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Building a Therapeutic Relationship - Counselling through Personal Adversity In Episode 209 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly discuss this week's three topics: In 'Counselling Foundations' this week, Rory and Ken look at the therapeutic relationship. Next in 'Focus on Self', we look at counselling through your own adversity. And finally, in 'Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Caroline Peacock about working as a school counsellor with children and young people. Building a Therapeutic Relationship [starts in 1:37 mins] Your relationship with a client can be the backbone of your sessions, and in this section, Rory and Ken discuss the key things to remember when building this therapeutic relationship: Establishing solid boundaries - will allow you to be your best self in the therapy room. Being present, actively listening and ensuring you're not tuning out. Managing transference. Recognising that the relationship can breakdown and being able to repair it. Being careful of self-disclosure and radical empathy. Counselling through Personal Adversity [starts in 20:15 mins] In order to be in the best service of the client, you yourself should be in the best condition you can. In this section, Rory and Ken share their own personal experiences to help with what you can do when counselling through your own adversity: Ask yourself how it is impacting you, are you able to bracket it off when with a client? How it is dealt with will all depend on you-it is something that differs for each individual. Discuss it with your supervisor in order to decide what is best for you going forward. Working as a School Counsellor [starts in 33:17 mins] This week, Rory speaks with Caroline Peacock, a school counsellor of 3 years, about how working with children and young people differs from working with adults in a school setting: In general, children and young people can be more trusting, they will go with the energy of the room. Gillick competence - rely on your own assessment, it will not always align with their biological age, it is all about how you feel they present. School counselling requires an integrative approach with multiple skills. Be present within the safe space you have created. Set out boundaries. After talking about it with the child, it is best to maintain strong communication with parents and carers. Know and understand your own, and all attachment styles. Links and Resources Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide Counsellor CPD Counselling Study Resource Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide Counselling Tutor Shop Facebook group Website Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner's Guide Online and Telephone Counselling Course

208 – Relational Depth and Trauma Nov 27, 2021

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Importance of Rapport in Counselling - Managing Your Inner Therapist In Episode 208 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly discuss this week's three topics: Today's 'Counselling Foundations' will discuss the importance of rapport in counselling. Next in 'Focus on Self', we'll discuss managing your inner therapist. And finally in 'Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Kate Williams on relational depth and trauma. Importance of Rapport in Counselling [starts in 01:36 mins] Building rapport is how we begin a relationship with our clients, making it an important skill to be aware of when in the therapy room. During this section, Rory and Ken discuss the importance of rapport, and how it can be built with your clients. Showing interest, genuine care, actively listening, and looking through the client's frame of reference you can begin to build up this rapport and trust with your client. Rapport is a foundation-building skill that takes time to develop. We see rapport in sales and customer service - however, this rapport is in an attempt to gain something, not in service of the client. Creates feelings of kinship and belonging. The relationship needs to be able to withstand challenges. Being prepared before your session can help to start building rapport. Silence is a key rapport building skill. Think about rapport in your own life, journal about it, and speak about it in supervision in order to support your own growth. Managing Your Inner Therapist [starts in 19:49 mins] Knowing how to control your inner therapist is an essential skill as a counsellor and in this section, Rory and Ken discuss their own personal experiences with this topic. The key points of this discussion include: The importance of turning off your inner therapist in situations it isn't warranted. Keeping your counselling in the therapy room provides necessary control, control that you don't have in everyday conversations. Only taking on clients professionally is a form of self-care that prevents you from taking on too much. Knowing when to reel back these therapeutic skills that you possess. Think in advance of how you might avoid one of these situations - have an 'escape plan'. Relational Depth and Trauma [starts in 36:24 mins] In this week's 'Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Kate Williams on building relational depth with traumatised clients, and how this may differ from regular clients. The key points discussed In this segment on relational depth and trauma include: Only when a therapist can be at home in their own body, can a client feel that too, and begin to feel safe in their own body - which they can then transfer into their own relationships. Mirroring the client, showing them themselves from a therapist point of view could help them to understand themselves better. It requires consistency over time to be able to build up this relationship. Links and Resources Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide Counsellor CPD Counselling Study Resource Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide Counselling Tutor Shop Facebook group Website Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner's Guide Online and Telephone Counselling Course

207 – The Wounded Healer Counsellor Nov 20, 2021

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First Counselling Session - Counselling Paperwork In Episode 207 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly return with your favourite three sections: This week's 'Counselling Foundations' looks at the first counselling sessions - both your first session as a counsellor and the first session with each client. Then in 'Focus on Self', Rory and Ken discuss the wounded healer counsellor. And finally in this week's 'Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Tamara Howell about paperwork. First Counselling Session [starts in 1:50 mins] First counselling sessions are bound to be nerve-racking, whether it's your first session with a new client or the first session of your professional career. In this segment, Rory and Ken share personal advice and experiences on first counselling sessions: Doing your best and being yourself are the most important things to remember. Remembering to sort out contracting the first time you meet with a client, you can even practice this with a peer. Silence and active listening - two of the most important skills you should be bringing into the therapy room. Acknowledging that by the time you get into the practice room, you're good enough. You have earned the right to be there. Those feelings of nervousness are a sign of your passion. The Wounded Healer Counsellor [starts in 19:50 mins] In this week's Focus on Self, Rory and Ken discuss the term 'the wounded healer' and share things to be cautious of when you meet yourself in the therapy room: Be careful of over self-disclosure. You should avoid projecting yourself onto the client. Make sure you're sufficiently healed to work with a client. Use your own experiences as a source of empathy - not as a way to solve your client's situation. Aim to be the person you wanted during your own crisis. Think about your own 'why'. Why did you decide to work in the service of others? Counselling Paperwork [starts in 36:06 mins] Rory speaks to Tamara Howell, a good friend of Counselling Tutor with an enthusiasm for something others tend to dread - paperwork. The key points from this discussion are as follows: Paperwork is there to protect the client, and to protect us. Having things in writing can help you to be present and focus on the client. Tamara's bare minimums of paperwork such as contact details, a therapy contract/agreement (outlining things such as boundaries), a welcome note, and informed consent. Working online requires more paperwork (on privacy, environment and security etc.). The importance of emergency contact paperwork. Being prepared gives you confidence. Paperwork is in the service of the client. Links and Resources The Myth of Chiron, the Wounded Healer Tamara Howell's Resources for Counsellors Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide Counsellor CPD Counselling Study Resource Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide Counselling Tutor Shop Facebook group Website Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner's Guide Online and Telephone Counselling Course

206 – Compassion Fatigue in Counselling Nov 13, 2021

Show notes

Contracting in Counselling - Clothing and Counselling In Episode 206 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, hosts Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly discuss three more topics to help you with your counselling journey. 'Counselling Foundations' returns with this week's topic, contracting in counselling and its importance. 'Focus on Self' is looking at clothing in counselling. And finally, 'Practice Matters' is back with Rory speaking to Martin Smith about compassion fatigue in counselling. Contracting in Counselling [starts at 1:44 mins] Contracting in counselling has for the most part shifted from verbal contracts to paper contracts that must be read and signed. In this section, Rory and Ken will discuss the pros of having a contract between you and your client, and things you should be aware of when creating one: A contract is there in service of the client and the relationship you have with them. It helps the client to feel safe, eradicates the risk of surprise. A contract is there if things happen to go terribly wrong. Things that need to be covered by your contract eg. confidentiality. A contract is being honest; the relationship with your client develops from there. Think of it as a part of the therapy. Be mindful of the client - ask if they understand. A contract levels the playing field, creates a mutual understanding. Clothing and Counselling [starts at 23:10 mins] In this section, Rory and Ken discuss the impact clothing can have in the therapy room, and why it's a good idea to be mindful. Clothing has a psychological message. Consider what your clothing could mean to someone. We subconsciously evaluate people using their clothing. The importance of being mindful and just giving it an extra thought. Compassion Fatigue in Counselling [starts at 34:15 mins] In this week's Practice Matters, Rory is speaking with Martin Smith on compassion fatigue, something that can happen to anyone in an emotionally strenuous line of work. The key points discussed include: Compassion fatigue is like 'running out of steam'. A sign you could be starting to feel compassion fatigue in counselling work includes an increasing sense of dread or insecurity, feelings of relief when a client cancels etc. Make use of your supervision and your peers - other people can see it before we can. Make sure you're paying attention to your self-care, monitor how many clients you take on and manage your workload. Links and Resources Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide Counsellor CPD Counselling Study Resource Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide Counselling Tutor Shop Facebook group Website Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner's Guide Online and Telephone Counselling Course

205 – How to Become a Counsellor in the US Nov 06, 2021

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Id, Ego, and Superego - Importance of Personal Therapy for Counsellors Returning with Episode 205 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly discuss three more topics for you to listen in on: In this week's 'Counselling Foundations' we'll be focusing on the work of Sigmund Freud on id, ego and superego. Next in 'Focus on Self' we'll be exploring the purpose of personal therapy. And finally in 'Practice Matters' this week, Rory speaks with Robyn Symonds on how to become a counsellor in the US, and how training and practice differ from the UK. Id, Ego, and Superego [starts at 1:38 mins] During this segment, Rory and Ken set out the basics of id, ego and superego, helping to give a better understanding of these concepts in more detail through easy discussion. The key points explored include: Ego as the middle ground. Superego refers to morals, ethics and principles. Id is a subconscious process. Plato's original ideas in relation to Freud's work. We're not wholly biological, our personalities are shaped by our experiences. Benefits of Personal Therapy to Counsellors [starts at 13:37 mins] Listen as Rory and Ken outline the benefits of personal therapy, both for yourself and for your clients, not just during training but perhaps even during your practice. Points covered include: Personal therapy creates a safety net. Can help you gain an understanding of the client's perspective. Can help when your own wounds are opened by new theories you may be learning. Be sure to take your full self into therapy in order to get the most out of it. Training is incredibly demanding, personal therapy may be a way to help you manage that. There is strength in seeking therapy. How to Become a Counsellor in the US [starts at 27:02 mins] In this week's Practice Matters, join Rory as he speaks with Robyn Symonds on how to become a counsellor in the US. In this segment, they discuss some of the differences and similarities in counsellor training and practice: Regulation can vary in each state - clinical hours, tests, some states have levels of licensing, etc. Need a 4-year degree before you take a counselling master's degree Will take around 2.5-3 years 700 hours of clinical practice The American Counselling Association create a code of ethics that is then regulated by each state. A difference between certification and licensure - licensure includes what you call yourself and what you can do, etc. Links and Resources Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide Counsellor CPD Counselling Study Resource Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide Counselling Tutor Shop Facebook group Website Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner's Guide Online and Telephone Counselling Course

Special Edition – New CPCAB Level 5 Qualification: Counselling Children and Young People Oct 30, 2021

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In this week's special edition podcast, Rory Lees-Oakes speaks with Heather Price of the Counselling and Psychotherapy Central Awarding Body (CPCAB) on the exciting introduction of a new level 5 qualification - Counselling Children and Young People (11-18). The details of this new specialised CPCAB qualification that are discussed include: This specific training is necessary to work with young people, especially due to tricky areas such as confidentiality and consent. Before being able to take this course, a good grounding is needed beforehand. As it is a level 5 qualification, you will already be a qualified counseller before choosing to specialise - it requires knowledge, skills and training. It includes 20 hours of personal therapy as working with other people's childhoods may trigger something from your own. It is a regulated qualification. It is in partnership with the Open University. It includes 120 flexible guided learning hours which will take one year to complete. Links and Resources CPCAB Level 5 Diploma in Counselling Children and Young People (CYP-L5) CPCAB Application Form for Centre Recognition Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide Counsellor CPD Counselling Study Resource Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide Counselling Tutor Shop Facebook group Website Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner's Guide Online and Telephone Counselling Course

204 – What is Ambiguous Loss Oct 23, 2021

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Barriers in Communication - Applying Theory to Self In Episode 204 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly return with three new topics of discussion: In today's 'Counselling Foundations' we look at barriers in communication. Then in 'Focus on Self', Rory and Ken discuss applying theories to self. And finally in 'Practice Matters', Rory and Chloe Swinton discuss what is ambiguous loss. Barriers in Communication [starts at 1:40 mins] Counselling is all about communication, but sometimes there are certain things that can get in the way such as simply not listening or not knowing how to respond. In this section, Rory and Ken take us through the different types of barriers in communication, and how they're caused: External barriers such as environmental disruption e.g. roadworks, background noise. Internal barriers such as hearing difficulties - thinking about whether your client knows what you're saying, or if they are able to lip-read. Cultural barriers, class barriers, barriers in terms of technology. Is there a topic you find difficult to discuss or something that makes you uncomfortable? How the use of jargon and abbreviations can leave a member of the conversation feeling lost or misunderstood. Barriers can come from both the speaker and the listener - be aware of this and recognise when a barrier occurs and be sure to find a way to deal with it. Applying Theory to Self [starts at 26:47 mins] Knowing certain theories is incredibly important as a counsellor, but it's even more important to be able to apply these theories. This week, Rory and Ken share how applying these theories to yourself can solidify your understanding: Allows you to have a better understanding of yourself. Gives opportunity for personal development and growth. By helping yourself, you can help others - developing empathy. How it can be the final step in helping you to fully understand the theory. What is Ambiguous Loss: An Introduction for Counsellors [starts at 43:39 mins] This week Rory spoke with Chloe Swinton about what is ambiguous loss, something that everybody experiences at some point in their life, but not many people are aware of. In this discussion, the main points explored include: The two types of ambiguous loss: Psychological absence with physical presence e.g. dementia. Physical absence with psychological presence e.g. missing people, divorce. Ambiguous loss is stressful loss. Can be caused by a lack of closure. Can appear when you have been prevented from grieving, or saying goodbye. Caused by external issues. People dealing with ambiguous loss may isolate themselves, not accept their loss, etc. Links and Resources Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide Counsellor CPD Counselling Study Resource Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide Counselling Tutor Shop Facebook group Website Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner's Guide Online and Telephone Counselling Course

203 – Counselling Clients with Sex Addiction Oct 16, 2021

Show notes

Importance of Ethics in Counselling - Knowing your Attachment Style In Episode 203 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly discuss this week's three segments: 'Counselling Foundations' - where we look at why ethics are important. 'Focus on Self' - where we look at knowing your attachment style. And finally in today's 'Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Karen Lawrence about counselling clients with sex addiction. Importance of Ethics in Counselling [starts at 1:33 mins] The very basics of ethics can be boiled down to doing the right thing, but during this section, Rory and Ken will discuss in greater depth the importance of having an ethical framework. The key topics discussed include: Making sure everything you do is in service of the client. Outlining your boundaries. Recognising that ethics exist to mitigate and monitor risk. Ethics are an important method of standardisation. Consider the possibility of making your ethics known to the client. Ensure you're familiar with the correct ethical conduct. Importance of Ethics in Counselling [starts at 1:33 mins] The very basics of ethics can be boiled down to doing the right thing, but during this section, Rory and Ken will discuss in greater depth the importance of having an ethical framework. The key topics discussed include: Making sure everything you do is in service of the client. Outlining your boundaries. Recognising that ethics exist to mitigate and monitor risk. Ethics are an important method of standardisation. Consider the possibility of making your ethics known to the client. Ensure you're familiar with the correct ethical conduct. Knowing Your Attachment Style [starts at 16:40 mins] Attachment styles are the different ways in which we as individuals trust others. In today's podcast, Rory and Ken discuss the different attachment styles and the importance of being aware of your own attachment style. The key points include: Recognising that it's a subconscious process. The importance of knowing your own attachment style - the process being 'seen' may take away some of its power. The 5 different attachment styles and what they mean for the individual's relationships with others. Links to the Coventry Grid: The Coventry ASD vs Attachment Problems Grid Modification of the Coventry Grid Interview to include the Pathological Demand Avoidant profile Counselling Clients with Sex Addiction [starts at 30:58 mins] Rory speaks with Karen Lawrence who shares her knowledge on recognising those with a sex/pornography addiction and the key aspects of supporting these clients in therapy: Using the 4 criteria of addiction to make an assessment on your client. Shame silences people - be mindful of your client and use appropriate questions to progress the conversation. Remember that the client can only go as far as the counsellor is willing to go. Sex and pornography addiction can also isolate people and disrupt their everyday lives, not just alcohol or drug addictions. Links and Resources Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide Counsellor CPD Counselling Study Resource Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide Counselling Tutor Shop Facebook group Website Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner's Guide Online and Telephone Counselling Course The Coventry ASD vs Attachment Problems Grid Modification of the Coventry Grid Interview to include the Pathological Demand Avoidant profile

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