Connected Families Podcast

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Kids & Family
**Connected Families Podcast**

A Christ-centered parenting community that is grace-filled, science-based, and trauma-informed. Welcome!

Latest Episodes:

Kids and Misbehavior: Sin? Or Something Else? Aug 29, 2022

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[powerpress]

The Gospel in Our Parenting Aug 22, 2022

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What difference does the gospel make in our lives? In our parenting? The message of God’s love communicates the unconditional truth that each of us has been made in the image of God. Our connection with Jesus brings hope and transformation to every area of our lives. The love and grace of God is the source of everything we do at Connected Families. One of the things that sets us apart is that we work to make scripture practical for parents. The Bible is our sure foundation and the first resource we consider in our teaching. Today’s podcast is the first of two podcasts about how the gospel informs the Connected Families Framework. Stacy Bellward (podcast host) is joined by Connected Families Co-Founders Jim and Lynne Jackson to discuss how being a new creation in Christ can bring change into every part of our lives–including the everyday trials of parenting! We can live rooted and grounded in Jesus and put our trust in Him instead of the outcomes we’re looking for with our children. We can build our identity as redeemed children of God, bestowed with every spiritual blessing and created for God’s purpose and design. This abundant life in Christ then pours out and blesses those around us, especially our children! In this podcast: In today’s podcast, you will discover how the gospel is infused into the first three levels of our Framework: “You are SAFE with me.” Jesus is there to help you when you feel anxious or overwhelmed. He can help you explore, “What’s going on in me?” In Christ, you have the ability to be ok, even when your kids are not ok, because your identity is in Jesus. “You are LOVED no matter what.” Neither you nor your child has to do something or change before Jesus loves you. Misbehavior is the golden opportunity to show unconditional love to your kids. “You are CALLED and CAPABLE.” The deeper you are able to receive God's grace and truth for yourself, the more peace and confidence you can embrace as you coach your kids. God will partner with you as you help them grow in His purpose for their life. Stay tuned for the second part of this podcast, "Kids and Misbehavior: Is it sin? Or something else?" as we continue the conversation about the gospel and the Connected Families Framework. You won’t want to miss the eye-opening discussion about the last level of the Framework, “You are RESPONSIBLE for your actions.” In the meantime check out our FREE resources! Helpful resources mentioned in this podcast: 7 Practical Calming Strategies for Kids: The FREE Online Course Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart Online Course Connected Families Framework Scripture verses: 2 Corinthians 5:17, Romans 10:9, Ephesians 1 and 2, Ephesians 2:10, Ephesians 3:16-18, Psalm 139, Galatians 4:4-6, James 1, Romans 5:8, Luke 15:11-32

My Child Freaks Out Easily | Ep. 106 Aug 15, 2022

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And what can I do to make it stop?

Navigating Compassion Fatigue Jul 25, 2022

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Not all families who have been formed through adoption have experienced what is discussed on this podcast. Regardless of how your family was formed, or the challenges you have in your home, there is a wide range of experiences when it comes to compassion fatigue. If you’re struggling to feel joy and hope in your relationship with your child you might be feeling compassion fatigue. Especially if, for a variety of reasons, your child needs extra care and support. You love your child so much, but it can be hard to see the needs of your child when you feel emotionally overwhelmed and exhausted from trying to help them. Compassion fatigue is real, and it is more common than you might think. In our decades of interacting with families, we have seen an increase in parents in need of hope and help in the midst of daily struggles. You can find hope today from a place of faith, instead of gritting, exhausting, self-effort. Whether your child is struggling with trauma, sensory issues, attachment, abuse, shame, or just the daily struggles of life, this episode is for you! In today’s podcast, Stacy Bellward is joined by Lynne Jackson (Co-Founder of Connected Families) and special guests David and Colleen Little, TBRI practitioners and founders of Imago Hearts. David and Colleen have extensive experience, both in the US and internationally, helping parents who are raising children with histories of abandonment, abuse, and neglect. They dig deep with us today and talk about the importance of understanding attachment, and of doing our own inner work as parents. Then, the grace and mercy of Jesus in our lives can overflow into our relationship with our child in safety, connection, and compassion. You can experience hope and healing in your own heart, and bring that same hope to your struggling child as well. With God’s grace and help, you can look within to understand how your own history, wounds, and attachment have shown up in your life and in your parenting. Healing those wounds can lead to insight about yourself, and that leads to a deeper capacity to offer mercy and compassion to your child. In today’s podcast, you’ll discover: symptoms of compassion fatigue, and why you might be struggling with this the vital role that attachment plays in the relational stress you’re experiencing with your child practical steps to work through compassion fatigue and the importance of self-care how to work through the first level of the Connected Families Framework (“You are SAFE with me.”) to gain insight into your own needs, and then to better meet the needs of your child Resources mentioned in this podcast: 7 Practical Calming Strategies for Kids online mini-course (free!) Imago Hearts ministry Does Attachment Style Matter? (podcast with Milan and Kay Yerkovich) Connected Families Framework Connected Families free resources Are you struggling with compassion fatigue? Perhaps feeling isolated? You were never meant to travel this path alone! Please reach out to us and let us know how we can help. We also have Certified Parent Coaches who are ready to help you one-on-one in your parenting journey. We look forward to connecting with you! Guest Bio: David and Colleen Little live in Prior Lake, Minnesota. They are qualified practitioner trainers of the Trust-Based Relational Intervention model taught by the Karyn Purvis Institute of Childhood Development at Texas Christian University. David and Colleen are also registered trainers of the Circle of Security Parenting intervention. Colleen has a master’s degree in Speech Therapy from Mankato State and David has a master’s degree in Early Childhood and Infant Mental Health from The University of Minnesota. Their ministry, imago hearts, focuses on helping parents who are raising children with histories of abandonment, abuse, and neglect. In addition to training and coaching parents in Minnesota, they have partnerships with NGOs in Ukraine, Russia, Belarus, Moldova, and Poland. You can find more information about David and Colleen on their website: imagohearts.org. Do you have one really intense child? Or a couple? Almost every family in the Connected Families community has at least one child who is more sensitive and more intense than most other kids. Often what “worked” for your other kids doesn’t seem to “work” for this intense child! It’s a game-changer when you learn some new skills and can truly understand and empathize with that sensitive and intense child. Check out our newest FREE online mini-course, "7 Practical Calming Strategies for Kids". You'll be equipped with skills to help your sensitive and intense child navigate life. Register today!

Is Your Child a Rule Follower? Jul 11, 2022

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Do you sometimes worry about your child who is a rule follower? Wait, what?! Don’t we want kids who follow the rules? Parents often express their concerns about their defiant child. But rule-following? That doesn’t seem like a bad thing! And yet, we would suggest that these types of children come with their own set of challenges. Compliance can be viewed on a scale, from healthy to unhealthy. A child who is "easy" may actually be emotionally unhealthy and struggling to "speak the truth in love". In this podcast, we are focusing on the more unhealthy end of the spectrum. No matter where your child lands on this scale, you’ll find super helpful guidance here to build connection with your child. In today’s podcast, Lynne Jackson (Co-Founder of Connected Families) joins our host, Stacy Bellward, to peel back the layers of what might be going on under the surface of our rule-following children. These kids often give us a “break,” which seems to make things easier. But there is the risk of their identity being built around people-pleasing and suppressing their own needs. Over time and into adulthood, they might miss out on how to navigate conflict, and difficult emotions, and struggle with perfectionism as well. When you get curious and patiently work to draw out your child’s true feelings, you can help them get to the bottom of underlying struggles, and teach them to recognize their own needs and emotions. You can help them find their voice in the world, and communicate to them that they are loved and valued. In this podcast, you’ll learn: what healthy and unhealthy compliance looks like, and how to get in touch with what is going on under the surface in your childpractical ways to help you draw out your child and help them express their needs in a healthy wayhow the Connected Families Framework can help you navigate this process as you consider, “What’s going on in me as a parent?” and “What’s going on in my child?”the healing power of God’s grace to break cycles and overcome shame-based parenting Mentioned in this podcast: Got an Easy-Going, Compliant Child? Here's What You Need to Know.Sibling Conflict online courseDiscipline That Connects online course12 Misbehaviors and the Gifts-Gone-Awry Behind ThemConnected Families FrameworkParent Coaching Certification Program In our online course, Sibling Conflict: From Bickering to Bonding, we teach parents how to teach kids The Peace Process. This process equips kids to work through their arguments without your constant supervision and refereeing. Join us! Your kids will thank you.

Should Dads Demand Respect? Jun 20, 2022

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Should dads demand respect? Maybe this sounds familiar: “No, I don’t want to!” “This is dumb, you’re unfair!” “Who cares if my homework isn’t done?!” Hey dads, have you experienced this kind of pushback from your kids? It can push ALL your buttons when your child is disrespectful. This can make it especially hard to keep calm and respond with calm authority. Although this is a struggle for almost all parents, it seems to be an especially challenging scenario for dads. When our “respect buttons” get pushed, it’s tempting to grasp for control and command obedience. But in doing so, we might find ourselves sacrificing connection and true, heartfelt respect with our kids. You want to build connection and respect. So what can you do? How can you respond? In today’s episode, Jim Jackson (Co-Founder of Connected Families) and Chad Hayenga (Marriage and Family Therapist and Connected Families Parent Coach) have a heartfelt conversation about respect. When we engage with our kids in humility and curiosity instead of control, we model what respect looks like, and safely earn their respect and trust. Treating our children with respect helps us diffuse a tense situation, and paves the way for connection, conversation, and understanding. In this podcast, you’ll learn: how you can initiate and model respect to your child–even when they are being disrespectful to youways you can unintentionally frustrate or exasperate your kids, and how to encourage your child towards true heart change–not just compliance practical ways to teach respect both in and outside of the moment or situationthe importance of asking foundational questions such as: “What’s going on in me as a parent?” “What lessons are my kids really learning by my actions?” If you’ve struggled with teaching your child to be respectful we hope you’ve found practical wisdom in this podcast to guide you and your family in God’s grace and truth. Please check out our resources, and as always, your questions and thoughts are important to us. We would love to connect with you! Mentioned in this podcast: Ephesians 6:1-4Connected Families FrameworkDonate to Connected FamiliesSibling Conflict online courseWycliffe Hawai‘i Pidgin Bible translation In our online course, Sibling Conflict: From Bickering to Bonding, we teach parents how to teach kids The Peace Process. This process equips kids to work through their arguments without your constant supervision and refereeing. Join us! Your kids will thank you.

How to Be a More Playful Parent Jun 13, 2022

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Sometimes parenting can feel like one big list of things you have to get done. It can be so hard to switch gears from the many demands of being a parent to having joyful and playful time with your kiddos! Yet research shows that playfulness brings connection and communicates in a language that helps kids learn! Playful parenting is an important part of every level of the Connected Families Framework. Intentional parent/child play can: calm your child’s brain and yoursprovide opportunities to teach skillsenable problem-solving capabilityreach kids who are struggling communicate to your child, “I enjoy you!” Sounds great, right? So how do we get there? In this podcast, Stacy Bellward (podcast host) is joined by Lynne Jackson (Co-Founder of Connected Families, Occupational Therapist) and Joy Wendling (Connected Families Certified Parent Coach) to discuss the vital role that play contributes to a connected relationship between you and your kids. Tune in as they talk about how you can invite your kids to cooperate through play, and keep the long-term goal of connection, while also teaching important skills for the moment. From both a scientific and a biblical standpoint, play is a vital part of speaking your child’s language. It is a pivotal way kids learn! The language of play creates an atmosphere of emotional safety where you can diffuse conflict and invite joy and connection. In this podcast, you’ll learn: what the Bible says about play–it might surprise you!the brain science of why playful parenting creates connection and invites cooperationpractical ways to make it happen in everyday routines (like trying to get your kids out the door!)how to tune into your family’s unique personalities to discover what playful connection looks like Has this podcast been helpful to you? If so, could you please rate and review so others can find us more easily? We want to share the message of hope and connection with as many parents as possible! Mentioned in this podcast: Joy Wendling: Created to PlayConnected Families FrameworkSibling Conflict online courseThe “Just Right Challenge”Bible verses: Ecclesiastes 11:8, Matthew 19:14, 2 Samuel 6, Zephaniah 3:17, John 15:15 Guest Bio Joy Wendling is a wife, mama to 5 girls ages 1 - 9, and play advocate. She lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest where she has served in children's, youth, and family ministries and in Christian Early Childhood Education. In 2016, she earned her Master's in Youth, Family, and Culture from Fuller Theological Seminary. Though her primary ministry is to her family now, she loves to serve other families through Connected Families Certified Parent Coaching, and her podcast Playfully Faithful Parenting. You can connect with Joy on her website createdtoplay.com, and on Instagram instagram.com/createdtoplay, and Facebook facebook.com/created2play. Or you can email her at joy@createdtoplay.com. Sign up below to receive a weekly dose of encouragement straight to your inbox:

Does Attachment Style Matter? May 23, 2022

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Your relationship with your child might feel “off,” but you’re not sure why. Could it be that the way you were parented impacts the way you parent? Your attachment style affects all your most important relationships - from spouse to children to close friends. So, what is “attachment style” anyway? And does attachment style really matter? Attachment tends to be a buzzword in parenting circles. Attachment Theory comes from scientific research about different ways that children securely bond (or lack bonding) with their parents in the child’s early years. Also, it shouldn't be confused with Attachment Parenting. In a perfect world, a child experiences secure attachment when the parent-child relationship is built around emotional safety and stability from the parent. But we don’t live in a perfect world. Sometimes we (and our children) do not experience this kind of secure attachment. When we explore our family of origin, we learn how our own style of attachment affects how we respond in relationships, and it definitely affects how we parent our children! On today’s episode, Stacy Bellward (podcast host) and Jim Jackson (Co-Founder of Connected Families) welcome guests Milan and Kay Yerkovich. Together, they dive into the significance of, and styles of, attachment and how we model them in our parenting. They are the authors of How We Love, and they discuss how we bring the attachment style from our parents to our own relationships, especially with our kids. Learning about your attachment style is a key component of the first level of the Connected Families Framework and can help you understand, “What’s going on in me?”. Parents who have not experienced a secure connection — don’t lose hope! The good news is that attachment wounds from your past can be identified, and you can grow along with your kids. You can cultivate a secure, deep connection with your kids and transform your family for generations to come. In this podcast, you’ll discover: the six attachment styles and how you can identify your own attachment style how your attachment style passes on to your kids, and affects emotional regulation, sense of safety, and predictability in your home the specific challenges of cultivating a secure attachment with kids who have experienced trauma, particularly kids who join your family through foster care or adoption the importance of understanding your own attachment history without shame, and adopting a growth mindset to change the trajectory of your family’s legacy We are so glad you’re here! Has this podcast been helpful? Could you please take a moment to rate and review this podcast, so others can find us more easily? Here’s what others are saying about our podcast! Resources mentioned in this podcast: How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich How We Love Our Kids by Milan and Kay Yerkovich (includes “Seven gifts you can give your kids.”) What is Your Love Style? Online quiz Free resources from Milan and Kay Yerkovich: Comfort Circle: Guide for the Listener, Understanding Your Quiz Results Grace and Truth for Moms online course Connected Families Framework ACEs scoring system Bible verses: Psalm 139, James 1:19, 2 Cor 1:3-7, Psalm 23 Guest bios: KAY YERKOVICH, M.S., M.F.T. Kay is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Counseling and has been counseling people for over 30 years. She is a popular speaker and lecturer in the areas of parenting and marriage relationships. In her free time, Kay enjoys creative hobbies, ceramics, painting, and sewing. Taking a swim in the ocean is her favorite way to renew her energy. REV. MILAN YERKOVICH, M.A. Milan specializes in couples’ marriage counseling and is the founder and president of Relationship 180, a non-profit Christian counseling center specializing in the application of attachment research (www.relationship180.com). He has a master’s degree in Biblical Studies and has worked with marriages and families for over 40 years and is a Bible teacher and lecturer in the areas of relational theology, marriage, family, and parenting. He is a Co-Host of New Life Live! a nationally syndicated counseling show heard on over 180 radio stations, which can be seen on the NRB television network (www.newlife.com). He loves to row crew, swims and is a martial arts instructor. TOGETHER: They are the creators of Attachment Core Pattern Therapy (ACPT™), co-authored How We Love, How We Love Workbook, and How We Love Our Kids, and travel and speak extensively on relationships (www.howwelove.com). They were married in 1972 and have four grown children, two daughters-in-law, two sons-in-law, and ten grandchildren.

Ending the Shame Cycle May 16, 2022

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Are you hard on yourself as a parent? As a person? It’s so easy to get caught up in what feels like failure to us. We want so much to be good parents! Though it’s unintentional, we can project our own feelings of shame onto our kids. Then we feel even worse. Shame can be so destructive to us and to our relationships. What does ending the shame cycle look like? If you have ever felt stuck in this kind of a cycle, please listen to this podcast. In this milestone podcast (our 100th episode!) we talk about a prevalent and powerful concept that has resounded with our Connected Families community for nearly 20 years: Moving forward from shame to the freedom of living in God’s grace and truth. In this episode, Stacy Bellward is joined by Connected Families Co-Founders, Jim and Lynne Jackson. Together, they share the message that has transformed the lives of thousands of parents and families, and has provided the foundation for an enduring parenting framework. Modeling God’s grace and truth to our kids communicates that we are human, and that when we mess up there's an opportunity to bring God's very real mercy into any situation. In this podcast: Listen in today to learn about how to embrace and incorporate truth phrases into the messiness of daily life. Phrases such as: “This is a moment for compassion for me, and for my kids.” “Jesus gives me courage to face adversity and I will grow from this!” “Everyone is still learning.” “I can respond without ‘freaking out’.” “Hope is the fuel for a growth mindset.” Was there an encouraging statement in this podcast that resonated with you? Do you have your own hopeful-truth statement that has helped you? We’d love to hear it! Post it on your social media and tag us! FB: @ConnectedFamilies Insta: @connectedfams You will encourage other parents too! Mentioned in this podcast: Grace and Truth for Moms online course Connected Families Framework Bible verses: Psalm 3:3, 2 Corinthians 10:5, Ephesians 1,2, Romans 15:13, Philippians 4:8, 2 Peter 1:3 100 Truth Phrases To Keep You Going Want a handy list of Truth Phrases to hang onto when life gets messy? Click HERE for a downloadable/printable PDF! DOWNLOAD FREE PDF

How Can I Identify Anxiety in My Child? May 02, 2022

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Do you have a child who struggles with anxiety? It can be really hard to know how to help them! Anxiety can be a powerless feeling for both kids and adults. Kids especially do not have all the same tools or brain development as adults to know how to manage it well. They need help. Add to this challenge that sometimes anxiety doesn’t even look like anxiety. Anxiety can be masked by a variety of emotions and behaviors. It can even present itself as defiance! What do you do then? As a parent, your heart is for your child. They need your help and you want to help, but what can you do? Listen in, because this episode has insight and helpful tools you can use today. Today’s episode is the second part in a two-part series about identifying and navigating anxiety. Last week we discussed how to identify anxiety in us as parents. (If you missed it, listen here!) Today we are diving into how to help our kids with their anxiety. Stacy Bellward is again joined by three experienced Connected Families Parent Coaches, Katie Wetsell, Marni Love, and Taylor Irby. Together they talk about the science of anxiety, how to distinguish it from other emotions, and how you can support your child through their anxious feelings. As adults, we can be advocates and coaches for anxious children whether in our home, school, church, or the community around us. We can get curious about what is going on in kids to determine if they are experiencing anxiety, and come alongside them with empathy, compassion, and helpful tools that bring connection. In today’s podcast, you’ll discover: insights to help you discern between your child’s anxiety, defiance, and other difficult emotionspractical ways you can partner with (coach) your kids to bring lasting transformation from a place of safety and connectiona tool called OARS to help you communicate using empathy and support the importance of your own foundational work as a parent to avoid bringing your own anxiety into tense situations We are so glad you’re here! Has this podcast been helpful? Could you please take a moment to rate and review this podcast, so others can find us more easily? Simply click on this link, and click “Listen on Apple Podcasts,” then click on “Ratings and Reviews” in the itunes pop-up. Or, use your Apple Podcast app on your phone! We love to bring you practical insights and biblical wisdom to help you in your parenting journey. Let us know how we can help! Resources mentioned in this podcast: Connected Families FrameworkGrace and Truth for Moms online courseWindow of Tolerance: Dr Dan Siegel4 Steps to Change Your Child’s Behavior and the “Just Right Challenge”OARS techniquePsalm 73 Guest bios: Katie Wetsell has always had a calling on her heart to care for children. She has worked as a pediatric oncology nurse and pediatric nurse practitioner. After experiencing the benefits of parent coaching through Connected Families herself, Katie later resigned from nursing and became a Certified Parent Coach as well. She and her husband have four children (three boys and a girl) through birth and adoption. Katie is also trained in SPACE treatment to help parents learn how to support their children struggling with anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorders. You can learn more about Katie at parentwithhope.org, and on Facebook @parentwithhopecoach and Instagram @parentwithhopecoach Marni Love is a wife, homeschool mom to three growing boys, tutor, and parenting coach. After teaching in public school for many years she felt called to home educate. She started in preschool and has continued through the high school years. She has a heart for helping families enjoy their journey and parent with grace while also preparing their children for the future God has for them. She has experience with adoption, ADHD, sensory processing, primitive reflex integration and highly sensitive children. It would be her great pleasure to support you in bringing peace and connection to your home. You can connect with Marni at www.marnilove.com and on Instagram @journeywithlovehomeschool Taylor Irby is a mother to 5 kids, and she understands the struggles parents face. Every day she faces ADHD, autism, anxiety, developmental delays and adoption trauma. She too has sat in the trenches and searched the world for answers. Taylor read book after book and got excited over methods that were short lived. That is where she hit the wall of desperation and sought parent coaching through Connected Families. Taylor ultimately became a coach through their training program to help others like her. She has seen transformation in her home through working with a framework that not only has changed her children’s behavior, but their hearts as well. You are not alone on this parenting journey. There is hope and you can enjoy your children, building that relationship you have wanted and see behavior change. And I'm here to help. You can learn more about Taylor at taylorirbycoaching.com, and on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/taylor.irby.5 and Instagram @taylorirbycoaching Download our FREE in-depth ebook Helping Kids With Anger. It will provide thoughtful insights and creative ideas to help your struggling child.

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