Christian Woman Leadership Podcast with Esther Littlefield & Holly Cain

Latest Episodes:

102: How to Avoid Burnout and Experience True Rest with Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith Jun 02, 2020

Show notes

Do you struggle to feel rested as a leader? Are you feeling mentally and physically drained, and you're not sure why? It may be that you are not experiencing the type of rest you need.

In this episode, I'm talking with Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith about the important issue of rest. She shares why so many leaders burnout, how she personally recovered from burnout, and how her life changed afterwards.

In addition, Dr. Saundra shares with us the true meaning of rest. She has identified 7 different types of rest and she notes that a deficit in one or more of these areas can impact you negatively. We also dive into ways to recognize what type of rest you need and how to start making changes.

This is an important conversation for every leader, because if we are not staying healthy, we are going to struggle to lead well. Take a listen to find out how to avoid burnout and experience true rest.

Become a Partner & Get Access to Bonus Content

This post contains affiliate links, which means if you choose to make a purchase via one of the links, we will receive a commission at no extra cost to you. This helps to support the costs of running the podcast and blog.

Key Points Discussed:

Dr. Saundra's life and leadership [4:02]
Why leaders burnout [8:35]
Recovering from burnout [10:20]
How Saundra's life changed [14:12]
The 7 Types of Rest [18:02]
- Physical
- Spiritual
- Mental
- Emotional
- Social
- Sensory
- Creative
Discussion around specific areas of rest & practices we can implement [27:28]
- Practicing vulnerability [29:54]
- Recognizing sensory overload [38:55]
- Getting out of the urgency mindset [43:00]
Experiencing multiple types of rest [48:14]
Recognizing what type of rest you need [50:18]
Leaders are learners [53:04]

Key Quotes from the Episode:

Quotes are by Dr. Saundra unless otherwise noted.

"Because I was so goal oriented, I never really stopped to appreciate any of the accomplishments along the way. Everything was an ends to the means."
"What is work for now, and what is work that I'm just clinging to because I like work?"
"Rest is not about stopping; rest is about restoration."
"The restoration part is an active work, it's just not a depleting work; it's a restorative work."
"Social rest and emotional rest can be done virtually."
"It's okay when you're in your leadership position to lead and to be the leader."
"Rest should equal restoration."
"Rest doesn't look the same for every person."

Links and Resources Mentioned:

Become a Podcast Partner & Receive Bonus Content

We have a fun way for you to partner with the podcast and get access to exclusive content. Every month, we add at least 1 bonus clip from an interview or from Holly and I to a special podcast for our partners. You can become a podcast partner for as little as $5/month by clicking here.

In this bonus episode, hear from Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith about:

How she defines leadership
Her favorite tool or resource for embracing her gifts
A habit or routine that helps Dr. Saundra stay healthy
Advice she would give to another woman who wants to grow as a leader

Go here to sign up: http://estherlittlefield.com/support

Connect with Esther and Holly:

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode102.

101: Understanding Autism & Proactive Mental Health for Christian Leaders with Dr. Stephanie Holmes [Mental Health Series] May 26, 2020

Show notes

There is often confusion between developmental disorders, such as autism spectrum disorder, and mental health disorders, such as depression or bipolar. As Christian leaders, it's vital for us to understand the differences as well as consider how we love and lead those who may be dealing with one or more of these conditions.

In our final episode in our mental health series, Holly and I chat with our guest Dr. Stephanie Holmes about autism (a developmental disorder) and mental health for ministry leaders. We dive into the differences between developmental disabilities and mental health disorders and also discuss how both often have stigmas attached to them.

In addition, we dive into another area of expertise that Dr. Holmes has, which is around the issue of mental health for ministry leaders. We discuss the need for personal and organizational boundaries as well as the importance of developing lay leadership in churches.

Whether or not the issues of autism, marriage, or mental health directly impact you as a leader, this is an important conversation to expand your awareness of these topics. Dr. Holmes provides practical insights and recommendations for us as leaders as we interact with neurological differences as well as our own (and others') mental health needs.

Become a Podcast Partner & Receive Bonus Content Key Points Discussed:

Dr. Stephanie's Life & Leadership [3:53]
All About Autism [7:00]
- The difference between a developmental disorder and a mental health condition [9:10]
- How Dr. Stephanie ended up becoming an expert in autism [11:22]
- Importance of understanding autism [16:18]
- Adults with autism [19:45]
- Communication with individuals who have autism [23:01]
- Examples of black and white thinking [26:20]
- Marriage issues [30:16]
Proactive Mental Health & Ministry [35:00]
- The health of the leader impacts the health of the body [37:10]
- Practical ways that ministry leaders can recognize when they need to reach out for help [38:28]
- Why we don't set boundaries as leaders [41:52]
- - Organizational issues
  - Boundary issues
  - Personality issues
- Cultivating culture of lay leadership [45:40]
Dealing with autism and mental health combined [51:44]
- Look for a clinical with an expertise in autism
- Misdiagnosis can happen
Leaders are Learners [55:36]
- American Association of Christian Counselors Conference
- The Greatest Words Ever Spoken - Steven K. Scott

Key Quotes from the Episode:

Quotes are by Dr. Stephanie Holmes unless otherwise noted.

"I never saw myself as a leader; I just saw myself as, 'There's an opportunity to get that done.'"
"Autism is a bio-neurological developmental disability that generally appears before the age of 3; Autism impacts the normal development of the brain in the areas of social interaction, communication skills, and cognitive function." - From National Autism Association
"We're finding more people getting diagnosed later as adults, because sometimes some of those symptoms don't become evident until their compensatory strategies are maxed out."
"While there should be no stigma for mental health anyway, there's even sometimes a greater stigma for autism, because of the differences that person has."
"God brought it to me, and I lived it 24/7, and then that became the ministry and leadership and opportunities He wanted me to pursue."
"Spend time in the community and let people on the autism spectrum help educate you."
"Autistic people are people first."
"We're all made in God's image… Have a person point of view vs. a disordered diagnosis point of view."
"How do I still serve this person in a way that they feel included in the church?"
"There's a difference between character issues and diagnosis issues."
"Serving God and your personal relationship with God are not the same thing."
"I can't give what I don't have."
"We need to approach our mental and spiritual health the way we should approach our physical health, which is to be more proactive and preventative and developing good habits."
"It's more Biblical when there are people in their giftings and people in lay leadership."
"We are physical, relational, spiritual, mental, emotional beings--we're a whole person, so we need to take care of the health of all of these areas."

Links and Resources Mentioned:

The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Dr. Tony Attwood
The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope by Leslie Vernick
The Emotionally Destructive Relationship by Leslie Vernick
The Greatest Words Ever Spoken: Everything Jesus Said About You, Your Life, and Everything Else by Steven K. Scott
3 Reasons Boundaries are Critical for Leadership
Discipleship Series
Mental Health Resources on Esther's site

Connect with Dr. Stephanie Holmes:

Website
Special offer: Mention that you heard Dr. Stephanie on the podcast and get 25% off any of products/services: rev.stephaniecholmes@gmail.com

In 2004 Stephanie Holmes' eldest daughter was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, and Stephanie's focus as a counselor turned toward the world of IEPs, 504s, and understanding how to help special needs students in the classroom. Today, Stephanie helps individuals on the spectrum learn to accept and celebrate their autism journey as well as coach them on how to reach their potential while working on skill deficits and challenge areas. She helps families deal with the frustrations and challenges that may come with navigating the world with a special needs' child. She practices counseling at her home church, The Church or Chapel Hill and is the owner and founder of her online coaching and consulting practice called Autism Spectrum Resources for Marriage & Family.

Stephanie C. Holmes is an ordained minister, credentialed counselor, certified autism specialist, special education advocate, mediator, and recently completed her doctorate in education from Abilene Christian University.

She has written about her faith journey in Confessions of a Christian Counselor: How Infertility and Autism Grew my Faith available on Amazon and has some YouTube on her channels, Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes.

Stephanie's mission is to help marriage and families on the spectrum move beyond surviving to thriving!

Become a Podcast Partner & Receive Bonus Content

In this bonus episode, hear from Dr. Stephanie Holmes about:

How Dr. Stephanie defines leadership
Dr. Stephanie's favorite tool or resource for embracing her gifts
A habit or routine that helps Dr. Stephanie stay healthy
Advice she would give to another woman who wants to grow as a leader

Connect with Esther and Holly:

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode101.

100: Celebrating 100 Episodes with Our Listeners May 19, 2020

Show notes

We are thrilled to be celebrating 100 episodes and even more excited to include several of our listeners in this episode!

In this conversation, Holly and I are taking a break from our Mental Health series this month to pause and celebrate. We can hardly believe we're at episode 100, and we are so grateful to each of our listeners, our guests, and our team for helping us get here.

To celebrate, we are including clips from many of our listeners who sent in their thoughts about the show and how it's impacted them.

Featured Listeners:

Kass Fogle, "fan girl" and host of The Introverted Believer Podcast
Amanda Florczykowksi, author of Unraveled, speaker, mom & pastor's wife
Marion Syverson, host of Money, Motherhood & Motivation Podcast
Gena McCown, author of Women's Ministry with Purpose
Cyndee Ownbey, founder of Women's Ministry Toolbox and guest on Episode 97
Janell Wood, host of the Finding Something Real
Tabitha Bigbee, founder of the Everyday Faith Ministry and guest on Episode 62
Kim Wahl, author of The Complaining Cure
Madge Obaseki, host of the Healthy Church Growth Show Podcast and guest on Episode 95
Kristen Joy, founder of The Ministry Wife Coach
Elizabeth Cook of Elizabeth Cook Communications
Lisa Bynoe-Stevens
Kari of Love Does That
Laurie Fowler, my pastor's wife and friend

Our Reflections on Reaching 100 Episodes

After hearing from our listeners, Holly and I spend some time discussing the feedback and our intentions for the podcast. Our goal for this podcast has been from the start:

"We discuss issues related to leading as a Christian woman, and we also interview other women who share their leadership journeys. Through this podcast, we offer encouragement, tools, and resources to help you live out your unique calling as a leader and lead with confidence."

We are grateful that we've been able to do this and that we've had the blessing of being the hosts of this podcast.

Holly & I reflect on some of the blessings of the podcast to ourselves, including the opportunity to talk with our guests, the different perspectives we bring, and our friendship. We also chat about how the podcast got started and some of the seeds that were planted many years ago that laid the groundwork for this show.

Special Announcement: We have merch!

We are excited to announce that we have opened up a merch store where you can buy some swag related to the podcast. Click here to go to the store and check out the items!

If you grab one of the items and share a photo on social media, use the hashtag #leadwithconfidence and/or tag us so we can see it and share it.

Tag @estherlittlefield on Facebook
Tag @estherdlittlefield or @christianwomanleadership on Instagram

Fun question of the Day

Holly and I answer the question: "What has been the most awkward part of the podcast for you?"

Key Quotes from the Episode:

"I was immediately hooked, like 'fangirl' hooked… I know when I listen to Esther & Holly, I am following a Biblical leading toward making real changes that will drive results." - Kass

"Leadership can just naturally deplete us and so I started seeking solid, Biblical and practical insight that would refuel me, and I found it in CWLP." - Amanda

"The CWLP is a blessing… I feel like I'm working in the field with a whole bunch of laborers who are equally full of integrity." - Marion

"I love the CWLP… it fills a void and provides a voice to those of who are leading in the trenches as women." - Gena

"I don't listen to many podcasts, but the CWLP is on my must-listen to list." - Cyndee

"I haven't always considered myself a leader… your podcast has been so empowering to me... It's been a practical help to go do what I've been designed to do with the abilities that God has given me." - Janell

"Esther & Holly have created a platform that encourages women to embrace, be bold in, and grow in who God created them to be." - Tabitha

"It is so impactful because Esther is not afraid to dig into the tough topics." - Kim

"Keep inspiring us because it's sorely needed." - Madge

"You are bringing really important conversations to the table, and I'm learning to think more deeply about them because of your work and guests." - Kristen Joy

"This podcast came along at just the right time for me… the biggest impact it's had on me... is pointing me in the direction that the confidence doesn't need to come from me... I can be confident in the role that God has placed me here for." - Elizabeth

"The podcast has been used by God to really heal the bruised parts of me." - Lisa

"There are so many things I appreciate about this podcast." - Kari

"Every single episode I've left with something of value to use in my life and ministry." - Laurie

"Sometimes your journey of leadership starts with saying 'yes' to something that 10 years later may look like no big deal. But at the moment that God is asking you to do it, it may feel like a really big scary thing." - Esther

"Sometimes we just need someone to invite us in and say 'I'm doing this, let's do it together.'" - Holly

Other Episodes Mentioned:

Become a Podcast Partner & Receive Bonus Content

Connect with Esther and Holly:

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode100.

Owning Your Voice as a Leader and Sharing Your Message through Writing with Emily P. Freeman [Bonus] May 14, 2020

Show notes

Every leader has a message to share, but we're not always sure the world wants to hear it. How can you move past the fear and start sharing that message?

In this special bonus episode of the podcast, I'm chatting with Wall Street Journal best selling author Emily P. Freeman. We're diving into Emily's leadership journey and how her view of herself as a leader has shifted in recent years.

We also talk about writing as a form of leadership, and what to do if you're not sure how to start. If you've ever felt the call to write but you feel like it might be selfish or you're maybe even a little afraid of success, this is the episode for you.

About Hope*Writers

Emily and I also chat about her membership community for writers, Hope*Writers. This is a group that I joined about a year ago and have found it incredibly beneficial as I work towards my own writing goals.

Sign up for the free training, Reimagine 2020: Discover your writing rhythm, uncover your creative call, and finally bring your writing to life in only 20 minutes a day. This will be hosted by Emily and you're sure to learn something valuable even if you don't join Hope*Writers.

Hope*Writers will be open to new members between May 18-22, 2020. Click here to take a free quiz (before May 18th) or learn more about Hope*Writers (between May 18-22).

If you decide to join hope*writers using my affiliate link (https://estherlittlefield.com/hopewriters), you will get free access to my "Grow Your Audience" masterclass on June 5th! This will help you with creating a clear plan to start finding the people who will actually read your writing.

Access the show notes at estherlittlefield.com/emily

Key Points Discussed:

Emily's life & leadership now [5:10]
Emily's leadership journey [6:35]
- How her view of leadership has changed
- How writing has a played a role in Emily's faith and leadership journey
Writing as leadership [13:00]
Emily's mission statement [14:40]
Emily's advice for someone who wants to start writing [17:30]
Navigating success [20:00]
Writing when you feel like it might be selfish [23:00]
Leadership lessons as a co-founder of Hope*Writers [26:05]
- It all comes back to you as the leader
- People need you to be the leader
Leaders are Learners [28:25]

Key Quotes from the Episode:

"All writers are leaders. We all have that seed in us."
"Every writer knows what she wants to say. What she doesn't know is if people will want to read it."
"There is a path, and you're already on it."
"You have a God who can handle it. He is perfectly capable... to nudge you in the right direction if you go off track."
"Do not let the fear of 'what ifs' and fear of your own self get in your own way from getting the message into the hands of your reader."
"Being overly clear is never the problem; it's always the other way around."

Resources Mentioned:

Faithful Presence by David Fitch
Life Without Lack: Living in the Fullness of Psalm 23 by Dallas Willard
A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23 by W. Phillip Keller
Hope*Writers Quiz (this will take you to a free quiz or details about joining if it's open)

Connect with Emily P. Freeman:

Emily P. Freeman is the Wall Street Journal best selling author of Simply Tuesday and A Million Little Ways. Her newest book, The Next Right Thing, offers a simple, soulful practice for making life decisions. Emily is also the host of The Next Right Thing Podcast. She also co-founded the membership site hope*writers, a community of working writers dedicated to learn to balance the art of writing with the business of publishing.

She earned her MA in Christian Spiritual Formation and Leadership at Friends University. In her writing and speaking, Emily always seeks to create space for the soul to breathe, offering fresh perspective on the sacredness of our inner life with God. Emily and her husband live in North Carolina with their three children.

Connect with Esther and Holly:

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/emily.

99: Recovering from Trauma, Why Leaders Need to Heal and How We Can Get (and Offer) Support for Mental Health with Dr. Barbara Lowe [Mental Health Series] May 12, 2020

Show notes

Christian leaders need to take care of their mental health along with their spiritual health. But many times, leaders are hesitant to reach out to get healing from past trauma or speak up about mental health concerns. Why is that, and what can we do about it?

In our 2nd episode in our mental health series, Holly and I chat with our guest Dr. Barbara Lowe about recovering from trauma, finding healing, and getting support for mental health.

In addition to sharing her own story, Dr. Barbara also gives us some practical tips and tools to deal with our own mental health, as well as how to help guide and lead others if they are struggling.

We cover why leaders often don't reach out for help with mental health, what to do if someone is depressed or suicidal, and more. Through the conversation, Dr. Barbara helps us gain a holistic view of mental health, considering how our faith is connected to all of this.

Become a Podcast Partner & Access Bonus Content

Key Points Discussed:

Dr. Barbara's Leadership Journey [5:30]
- An "unlikely leader" because of her past
- How Dr. Barbara moved into a healthy place [13:50]
Faith plus therapy model for healing trauma [18:00]
How spiritual health and mental health are connected [25:30]
Why Christian leaders avoid the topic of mental health [28:25]
- Barriers that leaders face
- Start being more open about our struggles
How we can support leaders who do open up [34:00]
When do we ourselves need to get help for ourselves [37:03]
- Common points of anxiety, depression, or anger
- Addictions and pain points in our relationships
What to do when another person does not want to participate in the change [40:48]
When pastors should refer out in counseling [43:00]
- Vetting potential counselors
Dealing with suicide [47:20]
- Suicidal thoughts are a normal part of depression
- Need to be aware of intent, method, and means
- Get other people involved, especially a mental health professional
- Ask questions!
Leaders are Learners [54:30]

Key Quotes from the Episode:

Quotes are by Dr. Barbara Lowe unless otherwise noted.

"God, turn this into a beautiful place."
"Healing is from God."
"None of us go through middle school unscathed."
"God will go as deep as we let Him."
"A lot of people try and forgive before they even realize they are angry."
"God wants to heal us so that we can leave a legacy on this earth, so that we can align with His purpose."
"We are going to be much healthier leaders if we let [our wounds] be healed."
"God put gifts of healing in the body, and this is one of them."
"You're not going to have a healthy flock if you're not healthy at the top."
"A lot of times when we open up, we don't want the fix; we want the presence."
"When what you are providing isn't helping or making things worse, then you need to get a professional involved; there's no shame in that."
"Suicidal thoughts are part of depression often, and we kind of need to normalize that."
"Err on the side of asking, and asking to the point of being a nuisance."
"It's easier to not talk about it; it's easier to pretend like everything is okay." - Esther Littlefield
"There's a lot of things that we're not talking about that we need to talk about."

Links and Resources Mentioned:

Progressive Relaxation
"Self-momming" skill
5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique
The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope by Leslie Vernick
The Emotionally Destructive Relationship by Leslie Vernick
Leaders are Learners: World Women's Wholeness Summit

Connect with Dr. Barbara Lowe:

Dr. Barbara Lowe is a licensed psychologist, founder and owner of Greenleaf Psychological Services, Somatic Experience practitioner, EMDR practitioner, Board Certified Life Coach, educator, lay minister, and author. As a gifted international speaker, her audiences are left with the feeling that they have been seen, that their pain has been witnessed, and that their hope for a better life has been renewed. She led the women's panel at the American Association of Christian Counselors World Conference 2019 and she also chaired the AACC World committee for preventing sexual abuse, harassment, and abuses of power.

She and her husband Pastor Tim Sauve are founders of the World Women's Wholeness Summits (3WSummit.com), and just hosted a free, three-day (March 6-8, 2020) international on-line conference dedicated to unity with diversity, legacy, and women's wholeness from a mental health and faith integrated platform.

Become a Podcast Partner & Receive Bonus Content

Connect with Esther and Holly:

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode99.

98: Coping with Anxiety as a Christian Leader with Holly Cain [Mental Health Series] May 05, 2020

Show notes

How can you lead effectively when you struggle with anxiety? And how can you support those you lead who face this mental health challenge?

In this episode, we are kicking off a new series about Mental Health as Holly shares her struggle with anxiety. May is Mental Health Awareness month, so through this month we will be bringing you episodes to help you as a Christian leader. Whether you are facing a mental health issue or you want to increase your awareness, this series will be a great resource for you.

In this conversation, Holly shares openly about how she has battled with anxiety since childhood, and how she finally got to the point where she was able to reach out for help. She also shares some of the ways she's received healing as well as coping skills to deal with the anxiety when it shows up.

This post contains affiliate links, which means if you choose to make a purchase via one of the links, we will receive a commission at no extra cost to you. Bonus Content:

In our bonus clip for our podcast partners, Holly shares some specific ways that anxiety has impacted her relationships and her work life, as well as how she has used boundaries to help in these situations. You can become a podcast partner and access bonus content for as little as $5/month by clicking here.

Be Featured on the Podcast:

We are getting ready to celebrate our 100th episode, so we'd love for you to send in an audio clip to share how the podcast has impacted you. Click here to send in an audio clip and be featured on our podcast!

Key Points Discussed

Holly's experience with anxiety [5:00]
- First time she recognized her anxiety
- Anxiety in different seasons of life
What Holly has done to battle anxiety [20:51]
- Prayer
- Reaching out for help
- Medication
- Practical coping skills - self-reflection, establishing her baseline, grounding
- Scripture & taking thoughts captive
How anxiety has impacted her relationships [36:43]
Identifying anxiety's triggers [40:51]
How Holly has experienced wins with anxiety [44:45]
How anxiety has impacted Holly's leadership journey [48:30]
Fun question of the day [57:00]

Quotes:

"I remember having this realization that I have no positive thoughts, ever."
"This is the hard work of anxiety: trying to figure out what your triggers are, and then what is really underlying those."
"Leadership feels like doing scary things… if there's one thing that people with anxiety do well, it's doing things when they're scared."

Recommended Mental Health Resources:

Finding Hope in Helping: Go from drained, worn-out and stretched beyond capacity to being equipped to negotiate the complex demands and care needs of your ministry - Course from Laura Howe at Hope Made Strong

Connect with Esther and Holly:

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode98.

97: Intentional Discipleship and Mentoring Within Women's Ministry with Cyndee Ownbey [Discipleship Series] Apr 28, 2020

Show notes

Why does women's ministry matter, and how can it play a role in discipling women within the church? And what are some of the challenges leaders face when implementing discipleship programs?

In our last episode of the Discipleship Series, Holly talks with our guest Cyndee Ownbey about intentional discipleship and mentoring within women's ministry. Cyndee shares her own leadership journey and how she ended up leading Women's Ministry Toolbox. She provides valuable insights into women's ministry, discipleship, and mentoring.

Whether you are a women's ministry leader or not, you don't want to miss this conversation, as it impacts all women in the body of Christ.

Become a Partner & Get Access to Bonus Content

This post contains affiliate links, which means if you choose to make a purchase via one of the links, we will receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Key Points Discussed:

Cyndee's Leadership Journey [5:02]
Why Women's Ministry is Vital to the Church [10:23]
Shifts within Women's Ministry [17:33]
Developing Disciples within Women's Ministry [18:15]
- Getting women involved in discipleship
- 3 key things women should learn
Discipleship vs. Mentoring [23:28]
- Difference between discipleship and mentoring
- Practical ways to pair people up
Unique Challenges to Discipleship in Our Current Time [30:30]
- Convincing women that discipleship is important
- Importance of engaging different stages effectively
Starting a Discipleship Process In Your Church [39:00]
Developing Leaders Within Your Ministry [42:56]
Leaders are Learners [44:25]
- Jesus Over Everything by Lisa Whittle
- Stop Calling Me Beautiful by Phylicia Masonheimer

Key Quotes from the Episode:

"Women need each other. There are ways that we can support each other that men just can't."

"When our women are in the word and they know the word, we are all better for it."

"Do we need to provide respite or do we need to provide hope for women? Or is it both?"

"We need to teach women how to read God's word for themselves."

"I think one of our unique challenges is honestly convincing women that [discipleship] is important."

"When you've got women in different ages and stages that are meeting together it is just beautiful."

"We've got a lot of women who have for years have been relying on their pastor, their favorite bible study author, or their favorite book to teach God's word to them and aren't digging into God's word on their own."

"If we would all take the time to equip our women and teach them how to study God's word, imagine how that could transform the church."

"Once they learn how to do it they are going to teach other people how to do it and that's what discipleship is."

Links and Resources Mentioned:

Connect with Cyndee Ownbey:

Cyndee Ownbey is the author of Rethinking Women's Ministry: Biblical, Practical Tools for Cultivating a Flourishing Community. She serves as a mentor to thousands of women's ministry leaders through her website and Facebook community, Women's Ministry Toolbox. Pulling from over twenty years of experience ministering to women, Cyndee shares tried-and-true women's ministry tips and ideas that equip leaders to cultivate a Christ-focused community. Cyndee enjoys training women's ministry leaders and teaching at women's events and conferences whenever the opportunity allows.

Become a Podcast Partner & Receive Bonus Content

In today's bonus episode of the podcast, you can hear:

How Cyndee began to understanding her wiring
Cyndee's advice for a younger leader

Go here to sign up: http://estherlittlefield.com/support

Connect with Esther and Holly:

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode97.

96: Deconstruction, Apologetics, and Discipleship with Alisa Childers [Discipleship Series] Apr 21, 2020

Show notes

Every day, we're hearing more and more stories of deconstruction and people publicly leaving the Christian faith. How can we navigate this issue as Christian leaders, and what are some keys to support people who are doubting?

In this conversation for the Discipleship Series, Holly and I dive into these topics and more with Alisa Childers. Alisa shares her own story of deconstruction and how that led her into the world of apologetics. We also discuss the connection between deconstruction and discipleship, as well as the value of studying church history.

In addition, Alisa shares her insights on how we can support others who may be struggling with doubt, and even what to do if we are doubting ourselves. Finally, we chat with Alisa about her tips for handling criticism and disagreement in the online world.

Become a Partner & Get Access to Bonus Content

This post contains affiliate links, which means if you choose to make a purchase via one of the links, we will receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Key Points Discussed:

Alisa's leadership journey [4:18]
- How Alisa got into apologetics
- How to get the message out without promoting yourself
- When ZOEgirl ended
What is deconstruction? [15:00]
- Defining deconstruction
- Alisa's story of deconstruction
How we reconcile someone's faith when they deconstruct & why we're hearing more about it [22:11]
- Interconnectedness of the internet
- Evangelistic tendency of Christians
- A desire to be authentic at all costs
- Doubt has become a virtue
How leaders can support those doubting or deconstructing [32:24]
- Give people a safe place to process doubt
- Be aware of whether someone is actually looking for answers or not
How deconstruction is linked to discipleship [35:45]
- We have not done discipleship well
- If we could get better at discipleship, we could see a change in the amount of people who are deconstructing
- Churches need to get smaller or 'smaller-minded'
Apologetics & discipleship [39:50]
- Apologetics is a key part of discipleship because it helps people who may have doubts and questions
- Why we have moved away from intellectual faith
How Studying Church history is vital to discipleship [45:56]
- Learn to identify historic Christianity by studying church history
- We can determine what the essentials of the faith are by looking at church history
How to struggle well with our faith as leaders [51:15]
- Don't bring those you follow into processing your doubts
- Go to other trusted leaders, to someone you are being discipled by
- Be willing to be submissive
- Be honest about your doubts
How to respond to disagreement and criticism with grace and love [55:00]
- When you speak the truth, you are going to receive radically different responses
- Practical strategies
- - close computer for 2 hours
  - look for people who are glorifying God through what you say
  - use the phrase "Hi, [name]"
  - see people as Jesus sees them
Leaders are Learners
- Benefits of fasting - Eat, Fast, Feast by Jay Richards
- Leviticus by Jay Sklar

Key Quotes from the Episode:

"I always thought music was my 'big calling'... but I'm more satisfied now than I ever was in music."

"All of us are leaders in some aspect of our lives… and we need to take that seriously."

"Leadership is modeling the right way to respond to things."

"Deconstruction is the process of going through everything you've ever believed about God and Jesus—the Bible, Christianity, all of the doctrines, all of the history—everything you thought about it, and you're sort of rethinking everything."

"We have this culture where doubt becomes a virtue, a badge of honor."

"We need to own the fact as an evangelical church, or even the broader church, that we have not done discipleship well."

"All apologetics is, is giving a reason for what you believe."

"Everybody who does discipleship should at least be familiar with basic arguments for the existence of God and Biblical reliability. They need to know how the canon was formed—why the books we have in the Bible are there."

"We're doing spiritual warfare in the realm of ideas, and have to realize that people are going to hate that."

Links and Resources Mentioned:

Connect with Alisa Childers:

Alisa Childers is a wife, a mom, an author, a blogger, a speaker, and a worship leader. She was a member of the award-winning CCM recording group ZOEgirl. She is a popular speaker at apologetics and Christian worldview conferences, including reThink. She has been published at The Gospel Coalition, Crosswalk, the Stream, For Every Mom, Decision magazine, and The Christian Post.

Become a Podcast Partner & Receive Bonus Content

In today's bonus episode of the podcast, you can hear:

Alisa's definition of leadership
Tool or resource that has helped her to embrace her gifts
Alisa's habit and routine to stay healthy
Alisa's advice for a woman who wants to grow in leadership

Go here to sign up: http://estherlittlefield.com/support

Connect with Esther and Holly:

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode96.

95: Why People are Leaving the Church and How Discipleship Plays a Role in Keeping Them with Madge Obaseki [Discipleship Series] Apr 14, 2020

Show notes

We hear the term discipleship a lot in Christian circles, but do we really understand what it means and why it's important? And is it possible that discipleship can play a role in keeping people in the church rather than walking away?

In this episode of the Discipleship Series, Holly and I are talking with Madge Obaseki, a healthy growth advocate for churches in the UK and around the world. We're diving into how Madge went from being burnt out in church to becoming passionate about discipleship. We also discuss ways that churches can practically implement discipleship and how this will impact them.

In addition, Madge shares about her research around why people are leaving the church and some things that churches can do to reduce this trend. We dive into the issue of small groups and their importance in the discipleship process--but also why they should not be the only discipleship method. Madge also gives her perspective on whether new Christians should be plugged into serving right away or not.

Become a Podcast Partner & Access Bonus Content

Key Points Discussed:

Madge's Leadership Journey [4:50]
Why Discipleship [12:00]
- Madge's passion for discipleship
- How Madge defines discipleship
Practical steps church's can implement [20:00]
- Have a foundational level
- Go beyond Bible study
- Show in how you live your life
- Mentoring program
- Small groups
Why People are Leaving the Church [31:09]
- Very complex issue
- Leadership style
- Lack of discipleship
- Leaders need to be trained in leadership, not just have a strong gifting
- We need to learn to communicate with the culture more effectively
How Small Groups Play a Role in Discipleship [42:30]
- Churches shouldn't resist having small groups
- Have small groups mirror the sermon series
- - Have people go deeper and learn how to study the Bible
- Small groups keep people connected during the week
- Leaders need to stay on top of their growth and knowledge so they are teaching the right things
- - We need sound knowledge of the Word
  - Make sure our preaching is not just our favorite Bible verses
Discipleship Before Serving? [50:00]
- Example of having a child in the kitchen with you learning to cook
- Ideal to have them take the foundational level class first
- Exception for those who have been long-term believers
Leaders are Learners [53:26]
- She reads a variety of books from different types of authors
- The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins -- because she wants to understand what others are saying about the Christian faith
- Theological Reflection - importance of journaling
- Ravi Zacharias
- Keeping up with current cultural issues

Key Quotes from the Episode:

"As a church, we should be in the position of impacting society as a whole."
"Discipleship is about life-long learning."
"Small groups are absolutely essential."
"We have such a massive responsibility as leaders."
"I need to understand apologetics--how to defend our faith. I can't do that if I don't understand who is saying what about my faith."

Connect with Madge Obaseki:

Website

Instagram

Leadership Self-Assessment

With a leadership career spanning nearly 27 years in business, public sector and non-profit & faith organisations, Madge Obaseki is always excited to use her transferrable skills and knowledge in different situations. Amongst her many achievements, Madge has been a professional jazz singer, co-writer and producer of the musical play Legends of the Blues, she's hosted her own radio talk show and project managed high-quality events for business and faith organisations. Madge is also a serial entrepreneur having run a design business, contract catering and agency supplying artists! This woman is not afraid of new bucking trends and fresh experiences!

Having successfully completed a degree in Ministerial Theology, as a mature student, she is now an ordained Minister. While at university she was awarded the prestigious Guild Prize for Leadership for demonstrating strong leadership. Madge is referred to as the 'healthy growth advocate' because of her work with churches and ministries to address the challenges of engagement and retention in the 21st century. She works with faith organisations in the UK, USA, Ireland and West Africa.

Become a Podcast Partner & Receive Bonus Content

Want to hear what Madge says about the habits & routines that keep her healthy as a leader, burnout, and her advice for new leaders? Just sign up as a podcast partner and you'll receive bonus content every month that isn't heard on the regular episodes.

Go here to sign up: http://estherlittlefield.com/support

Connect with Esther and Holly:

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode95.

94: Why We Need Both Discipleship and Leadership Development [Discipleship Series] Apr 07, 2020

Show notes

What exactly is discipleship, and why is it important to discuss on a leadership podcast? How can churches include discipleship in their structure, and what impact does this have on leadership development?

As Christian leaders, we cannot separate the issue of leadership from the issue of discipleship--the two are inextricably linked. But what exactly is discipleship, and how do we implement it in our churches and our everyday lives?

In today's episode, Holly and I are kicking off a new series on Discipleship. We're diving into our perspectives on discipleship, as well as our own experiences with it. Then we'll discuss how discipleship can take place within churches and the connection between discipleship and leadership development.

For the full show notes for this episode, visit estherlittlefield.com/episode94.

The Confident Leader Catalyst is open until April 8, 2020: http://confidentleadercatalyst.com

Key Points Discussed:

Why Discipleship? [1:28]
Defining Discipleship [4:13]
- What Discipleship Means
- Views on Discipleship
- Esther & Holly's Experiences with Discipleship
Discipleship Within the Church Context [21:45]
- Developing a culture of discipleship in your church
- What do we need in a discipleship plan or program?
The Link Between Discipleship & Leadership [41:50]
Fun question of the day [58:00]

Other Episodes Mentioned:

Connect with Esther and Holly:

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode94.

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