Chris Simms Unbuttoned

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Week 5 WTF Happened: "This is why you're the big butt expert" Oct 12, 2022

Show notes

(2:50) Ravens defense: Baltimore ditches the blitz, and Ja'Marr Chase's route tree is "simple and sh*tty."

(19:30) Giants defense: "That's where Wink Martindale is a mastermind." And the Packers' dink-and-dunk offense flops.

(35:30) Jets defense: How much praise do they deserve for beating a 3rd-string QB?

(45:15) Saints defense: Is Geno Smith a better fit for the Seahawks offense than Russell Wilson? And Tyrann Mathieu doesn't want to tackle anymore.

(56:20) Ahmed's Big Butt Awards: Baron Browning and some guy named Aaron Donald take home the elephant butt.

(1:00:00) Cowboys defense: "Dan Quinn went to the lab, with a pen and a pad."

(1:11:20) Defense Player of the Year odds: Should Micah Parsons be the clear favorite?

(1:15:00) Lions-Patriots: Ahmed can't believe Chris made him talk about this game again. And why is Aaron Glenn's Detroit defense so bad?

(1:22:20) Chargers-Browns: "If Cleveland had a passing game, they would have torched this defense."

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NFL Week 5 Recap + Matt Rhule fired Oct 10, 2022

Show notes

(5:30) Ravens def. Bengals: "It was actually a team win for the first time this year."

(15:10) Eagles def. Cardinals: Philly is good, but they can still be better.

(22:30) Cowboys def. Rams: "Matthew Stafford has no chance right now."

(30:00) Giants def. Packers: "No way they are where they are without Saquon Barkley."

(39:40) Jets def. Dolphins: "They're super talented, I don't care who is at QB."

(46:00) Texans def. Jaguars: Is it time for Chris to self-scout himself on Derek Stingley Jr?

(51:40) Bills def. Steelers: "You're playing Madden on rookie level."

(57:40) 49ers def. Panthers: BREAKING NEWS, the Matt Rhule era is over.

(1:04:40) Chargers def. Browns: "All week to come up with the perfect play, and here's a slant."

(1:11:00) Titans def. Commanders: Ahmed proposes a new Carson Wentz nickname.

(1:15:50) Saints def. Seahawks: Does Taysom Hill deserve another shot as starting QB?

(1:21:30) Vikings def. Bears: "I'm not sure how good they are yet."

(1:24:45) Buccaneers def. Falcons: "Nothing the passer!"

(1:29:45) Patriots def. Lions: "Don't worry, be Zappe"

(1:36:00) MNF Raiders-Chiefs: More rec yds...Davante Adams or Travis Kelce?

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Week 5 NFL Picks: "The edge I brought, holding the clipboard!" Oct 06, 2022

Show notes

(4:10) TNF: Colts at Broncos

(7:20) LONDON: Giants vs Packers

(10:15) SUNDAY EARLY GAMES: Steelers at Bills

(14:00) Chargers at Browns

(16:50) Texans at Jaguars

(19:40) Bears at Vikings

(23:20) Lions at Patriots

(26:00) Seahawks at Saints

(28:50) Dolphins at Jets

(32:20) Falcons at Buccaneers

(34:20) Titans at Commanders

(35:45) SUNDAY LATE GAMES: 49ers at Panthers

(40:00) Eagles at Cardinals

(42:40) Cowboys at Rams

(46:00) SNF: Bengals at Ravens

(50:15) MNF: Raiders at Chiefs

(53:00) Best Bets & Folsom Prison Blues Pick

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Week 4 WTF Happened: Coach Dungy texts in Oct 05, 2022

Show notes

(4:10) Chiefs offense: "One of the best KC gameplans I've seen in a long time."

(18:10) Broncos offense: Russell Wilson "is part of the problem."

(27:45) Ravens offense: Are Baltimore's struggles due to poor scheme or poor talent?

(36:15) Bengals offense: Chris is downright mad at the Cincinnati offense.

(46:45) Tony Dungy: The Hall of Fame coach texts Chris while we're taping with some Chiefs thoughts.

(48:40) Ahmed's Big Butt Awards: Dexter Lawrence & Nick Bosa take home the big elephant butt trophy this week.

(54:00) Eagles offense: The Philly O-line dominates again.

(1:01:15) Jaguars offense: "Trevor Lawrence had the worst game he's had in a long time."

(1:09:00) Colts offense: Do the problems go beyond Matt Ryan?

(1:11:10) Titans offense: Why are they struggling in the 2nd half?

(1:13:20) Cowboys: "Just stop with that Cooper Rush take. Stop."

(1:17:30) Commanders: Who is more to blame: OC Scott Turner or DC Jack Del Rio?

(1:18:40) Rams offense: “Allen Robinson is not the same guy anymore. He lost a gear.”

(1:23:25) NFC West: Everyone is 2-2…who should be the favorite to win it?

(1:30:10) Zach Wilson: Chris’ crush continues to grow.

(1:34:10) Kenny Pickett: “He’s just a better natural QB than Trubisky.”

(1:38:30) Punt Awards: Props for Bears punter Trenton Gill & Vikings flyer Kris Boyd.

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NFL Week 4 Recap: "I held a towel around a guy once" Oct 03, 2022

Show notes

(5:00) Chiefs def. Buccaneers: Did Andy Reid take playcalling duties from Eric Bieniemy?

(17:10) Bills def. Ravens: "There's some teams that can adjust at halftime, and some teams that can't."

(28:25) Eagles def. Jaguars: “I am wrong on Jalen Hurts.”

(35:50) Packers def. Patriots: “They’re not going to win a Super Bowl this way.”

(44:00) Vikings def. Saints in London: “The day of the shutdown corner is done.”

(50:30) Titans def. Colts: “Tennessee’s offense is close.”

(55:30) Chargers def. Texans: Damn! Okay…"This is the best Derwin James we’ve seen”

(1:00:40) Raiders def. Broncos: Maxx Crosby is “by far” the best defender in Vegas.

(1:04:40) Jets def. Steelers: “The juice Zach Wilson brings is tangible.”

(1:11:10) Cowboys def. Commanders: “They may not have the best defense out there, but they may have the scariest.”

(1:15:30) Giants def. Bears: “Legs! Legs is who they are!”

(1:21:00) Seahawks def. Lions: "Let Geno Cook"

(1:26:45) Cardinals def. Panthers: "We're Not in Oklahoma Anymore"

(1:30:50) Falcons def. Browns: "Rush More, Pass Less"

(1:33:15) MNF Preview - Rams at 49ers: Over or under for Cooper Kupp rec yds?

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Week 4 NFL Picks: "Best bets! (oh god)" Sep 29, 2022

Show notes

(2:20) TNF: Dolphins at Bengals

(6:20) LONDON: Vikings vs Saints

(10:50) SUNDAY EARLY GAMES: Browns at Falcons

(15:20) Bills at Ravens

(18:00) Commanders at Cowboys

(20:20) Seahawks at Lions

(22:40) Chargers at Texans

(26:10) Titans at Colts

(29:45) Bears at Giants

(32:50) Jaguars at Eagles

(36:20) Jets at Steelers

(39:30) SUNDAY LATE GAMES: Cardinals at Panthers

(42:40) Patriots at Packers

(44:50) Broncos at Raiders

(47:40) SNF: Chiefs at Buccaneers

(50:30) MNF: Rams at 49ers

(52:50) Best Bets & Folsom Prison Blues Pick

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Week 3 WTF Happened: "A big elephant butt!" Sep 28, 2022

Show notes

(3:15) Bills offense: After Josh Allen kept beating the blitz, Miami needs to "dial it back."

(13:30) Dolphins offense: Tua Tagovailoa played tough, even though Buffalo "had a plan for the bullsh*t plays."

(22:15) Ravens offense: "Because of Lamar Jackson, they're a pass-first team you have to play like a run-first team"

(32:00) Patriots offense: After facing the shockingly weak Baltimore defense, how will New England adjust with Brian Hoyer?

(40:30) Jaguars offense: Trevor Lawrence is taking a 2nd year leap in Doug Pederson's revamped offense.

(54:05) Ahmed's Big Butt Awards: The self-proclaimed D-line expert debuts his awards with Josh Allen & Grady Jarrett.

(56:50) Chiefs offense: "You're not a running team. Stop pretending."

(1:08:40) Packers offense: What happened to the Green Bay offense after the first couple drives?

(1:17:50) Buccaneers offense: "It was a myriad of mistakes."

(1:25:40) Pete's Punt Awards: Who was the best punter and flyer of the week?

(1:28:50) Cowboys-Giants: Chris talks about his impressions of the Dallas and New York rosters after attending MNF.

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NFL Week 3 Recap: "Did you shower?" Sep 26, 2022

Show notes

(4:00) Dolphins def. Bills: Miami won the gotta-have-it plays, but is Chris worried about Buffalo?

(17:35) Packers def. Buccaneers: Tampa's offensive struggles might not just be about injuries.

(24:40) Eagles def. Commanders: "I should've had Jalen Hurts higher."

(33:40) Colts def. Chiefs: "It's the same worries we've always had, Tyreek Hill or no Tyreek Hill."

(41:10) Titans def. Raiders: Is Derek Carr to blame for Vegas' red zone woes?

(46:00) Bengals def. Jets: Joe Burrow is slippery. And is Robert Saleh on the hot seat?

(49:35) Panthers def. Saints: "Their offense sucks. It sucks."

(54:25) Falcons def. Seahawks: "The stars in Atlanta are the coaches."

(56:55) Broncos def. 49ers: "Jimmy G reminded us why they were in the QB market."

(1:05:55) Ravens def. Patriots: If the season ended today, is Lamar Jackson the MVP?

(1:11:00) Jaguars def. Chargers: Damn! Okay Devin Lloyd

(1:17:40) Rams def. Cardinals: Kyler Murray is not happy with his receivers.

(1:22:10) Vikings def. Lions: "The Wizard of Os-bourn"

(1:27:10) Bears def. Texans: "The Show Must Roquan"

(1:30:00) MNF Preview: Chris will be in the stands trying to will the Giants to victory.

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Week 3 NFL Picks: "First instinct! First instinct!" Sep 22, 2022

Show notes

(2:15) TNF: Steelers at Browns

(7:00) SUNDAY EARLY GAMES: Saints at Panthers

(11:15) Texans at Bears

(13:40) Chiefs at Colts

(17:00) Bills at Dolphins

(20:30) Lions at Vikings

(24:00) Ravens at Patriots

(26:40) Bengals at Jets

(28:45) Raiders at Titans

(31:25) Eagles at Commanders

(34:25) SUNDAY LATE GAMES: Jaguars at Chargers

(37:10) Rams at Cardinals

(40:00) Falcons at Seahawks

(42:20) Packers at Buccaneers

(46:00) SNF: 49ers at Broncos

(50:30) MNF: Cowboys at Giants

(54:50) Best Bets & Folsom Prison Blues Pick

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Week 2 WTF Happened: "I do have a man crush." Sep 21, 2022

Show notes

(6:10) Dolphins O vs Ravens D: "The best game Tua's ever played. There's no doubt."

(19:30) Ravens O vs Dolphins D: "Lamar Jackson played an almost perfect game."

(27:00) Bills O vs Titans D: "It's cheat code time. It's insane."

(36:30) Titans O vs Bills D: "I don't look at Ryan Tannehill as the problem."

(44:50) Chiefs O vs Chargers D: The Chargers D was aggressive...maybe too aggressive?

(53:10) Chargers O vs Chiefs D: "They need to find a way to scare the defense."

(58:50) Eagles O vs Vikings D: "Jalen Hurts is going in the right direction."

(1:06:50) Vikings O vs Eagles D: "I like big butts and I cannot lie."

(1:09:20) NFC Champion Odds: The public is catching up to how good the Eagles are.

(1:12:00) Cardinals O vs Raiders D: "This is not who you are. Let's stop pretending."

(1:18:00) Raiders O vs Cardinals D: How did Arizona shut down Davante Adams?

(1:22:40) Colts O vs Jaguars D: "I can't overstate the ass-whupping this was."

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