Stay ConnectedThe Creative Introvert Podcast is the podcast for creatives, makers, artists and entrepreneurs who prefer to work solo.
Cat Rose digs deep into the struggles creative introverts face and provides you with actionable tips every week. Topics tackled include: battling fear, increasing confidence, self-promotion without feeling sleazy, and overcoming procrastination.
Copyright: © Cat Rose Astrology
Networking.
A word almost as cringe-inducing as saying Volde-I mean, he who must not be named.
Regardless of whether you’re an introvert OR an extrovert - I actually don’t know if anyone admits to enjoying networking.
It’s kind of like exercise. We know it’s good for us but it doesn’t come without some pain - especially at first.
May be over time some of us develop a taste for it - but for the majority of us - we’d rather be at home networking with our cat than shaking hands and pasting on forced smiles with people who couldn’t care less what you do - but they ask anyway because it’s a way to talk about what THEY do.
Can you tell I’m not a big fan of networking?
Just over a year ago I found myself in a new city, away from any contacts or friends i had back in London who I could depend on throwing me a bit of work or helping me out in a time or crisis.
It dawned on me that I was going to have to make a bit more effort than I had been in networking - which prior to this had consisted of going to the occasion meetup with some illustrators and necking a couple of pints.
Looking back, I realise it wasn’t super effective networking anyway.
So first things first: I had to find some opportunities to meet new people.
What I’d like to do in this podcast episode is firstly help you if you know you need to start networking and secondly - to help you do it effectively. Oh and finally to be realistic. If you’re an introvert, like myself, I know that someone telling you to go and do all these mad manipulative tactics like mirroring or working the crowd - it just isn’t going to resonate.
If you’re anything like me, the likelihood of even going to the networking event you signed up for is about a 3/10 chance.
So - hopefully this is actually useful if you’re in a position like I was, knowing you need to network - but doing anything you can to avoid it and reason your way out of it.
In this week’s episode of the Creative Introvert podcast I talk to Nicola Mills, opera singer for the people.
What we discussed:If you ‘google’ the words ‘self sabotage’ you will see there’s nearly two million results for this term.
Two million? If that’s anything to go by, I’d say self sabotage is a pretty common human behaviour - even if it doesn’t always make sense on paper.
When I first heard the term, I snorted: why would I want to sabotage MYSELF? I’m all I’ve got! I want me to win! At the very least, I want to keep myself safe.
Then I found out that it’s a lot more sneaky a behaviour than we might expect. In fact, it’s so sneaky it still amazes me that we can be capable of doing this to ourselves - usually, without even knowing it.
Self sabotage isn’t this overt, masochistic urge to touch a hot stove or throw ourselves in front of moving vehicles - it’s way more subtle than that.
It shows itself in behaviours like: procrastination over drinking over eating extreme guilt or modesty
It shows itself often when we’re trying to achieve something for our greater good or higher self - like losing excess weight, maintaining a healthy relationship, getting a promotion at work or starting a new business venture.
Let’s look at some self sabotaging behaviour patterns.
Take a work situation. You hate your job. You work too many hours, you allow yourself to be treated like shit by your boss, and you make no time for doing what you really love - painting.
Yet you don’t look for a new job. You tell yourself you don’t have the time. You tell yourself your art isn’t good enough to make any money from anyway, so you’ve stopped that altogether. You don’t know what you want to do with your life - and have stopped asking yourself or researching possible career paths.
You’re stuck. Why?
Here are some possible thought patterns:
“If I fail in a new career or creative project, everyone will judge me as stupid and inadequate.”
“I’ve always been pushed to succeed by parents and teachers - I want to rebel because I don’t want to feel controlled by them”
“I only deserve to be at the top, I won’t start something new if it means starting at the bottom”
“If I keep doing what I’m doing, I’ll eventually work something out. Something will come up. It will just fall into my lap (even though it hasn’t and i’ve been doing the same thing for years)”
Do you see how we can rationalise our behaviours? Even if we’re not expressing these to ourselves, on some level we’re using these beliefs as a way to keep ourselves safe and ultimately self sabotage.
So what causes self-sabotaging behaviour?
That's what we're tackling in today's episode + some ways to nip self sabotage in the bud.
You might not know this about me but before I starting blogging as the Creative Introvert, I had a blog called - wait for it - Cat Food is Good For You.
It was mostly about my food philosophy - my quest to find the perfect diet, the perfect exercise regime and perfect everything really. I was really into health in a big way. So many great things came out of that blog, and it’s where I think I found my voice and my way of expressing myself at least through the written word.
It was also when I started listening to podcasts, many of which I’ve traded in now for less-health oriented shows, but Zestology is one that I still insist on listening to when it comes to optimising all different aspects a healthy, happy life.
Tony Wrighton is the host of Zestology, and as much as I love the guests he interviews, he is reason I listen and recommend his show to so many people.
I was lucky enough to get to interview Tony for today’s podcast - and - even more of a treat - this interview took place on a very sunny morning in an unusually quiet park in London.
What we discussed:More info here: http://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/
In 2013, my introvert dreams were answered.
I had made the heady decision on New Years Day to book plane tickets to Japan, signalling my no-way-backing-out-now decision to leave my safety bubble that was my 9-5 job as a web designer in London.
It also signalled the start of my 6-month experiment: be a Freelancer.
Spoiler alert: the experiment went well and I am still working for myself.
But… it was not an easy 6 months. In fact, the years following weren’t exactly a walk in the empty-introvert-friendly-park either.
Like this report shows, many freelancers feel less secure financially - and the pay brackets show this - than being full-time.
Despite the fact that going solo, either freelancing or setting up your own biz, may be the dream for many introverts who can’t abide the office life: it does come with it’s own challenges.
That’s what I want to spend this episode tackling.
Now I touched on one of the biggest sticking points in episode 031 - The Troubleshooting Guide for the Demotivated - which is, you guessed it, dealing with the issue of motivation when you work for yourself.
And naturally, I recommend that particularly if you’ve been freelancing or WFY for some time.
But today is more like a… primer. May be for those who are considering cutting loose from the 9-5 and fancy themselves as a one-man (or woman) band.
You’ll hear me talk about…Dr Ken Carter is a Professor of Psychology at Emory University and has been a psychotherapist and researcher for more than 20 years. I first came across his work - and wonderful TEDx talk when I was researching sensation seeking. So if you caught episode 29 on sensation seeking, what it is to be a HSS or high sensation seeker and the conflict that arises when you are a HSS and have other traits like HSP (high sensitivity) and introversion. And that’s what I chat to Dr Carter about today - he’s done a LOT of research on this fascinating trait, so if you wanted to learn more about it - this is the the podcast for you.
Why is knowing what's important to us - er - important?
I mean, can’t we just accept that this life is random, may be even predetermined and nothing we do is of any real importance?
Er - well, if thinking that helps you: go for it. But if you’re not of the nihilistic ilk then you’re probably looking for a bit more.
There’s something funny about us humans that seems to separate us from the other creatures we cohabit the earth with: We really like having a purpose.
We prioritise aspects of our lives in terms of what’s important to us, and mostly, act accordingly.
When we have a ‘why’ we can do some incredible things.
But what if you are reading this right now and don’t know what you want, or what’s next for you? You might be at a transition point, or trying to make some tough life decisions.
That’s what I’m going to spend this podcast episode helping you work out.
Rather than take this grand theory of Maslow’s as a blanket rule, I want to get specific, and actionable - and leave you with a way to live your life that is in alignment with what matter most to you.
(I’ve also made a handy little workbook to help you work through the method I outline in the show and figure out what MATTERS MOST to you.)
Shownotes: http://wp.me/p5bc9S-26w
Théa Anderson is one of those people who radiate warmth when you meet them - from the get go. I was lucky enough to be introduced to her by a mutual friend earlier this year. Over coffee, and may be a little wine, we realised we had a lot in common. We both help people who often feel a bit like black sheep, and support those who are passionate about creating a life that fits us. That said - Thea is much more outgoing and possibly an extrovert - she’s on the fence - and has been through some turbulent times to get her to where she is today. Times that - honestly - I’m not sure I’d be able to make it through. So if this wonderwoman doesn’t inspire you today - I don’t know what will.
May be this was just my experience. May be it happens to everyone as they grown up, fly the nest and have to start getting by on their own two feet.
For me, someone who thought themselves as naturally motivated to perform well, focus on whatever task I had at hand, and get things done: I woke up to a bit of a shock when I graduated from uni and got stuck into my first job.
This was actually an unpaid internship - and looking back, I don’t blame myself for not feeling particularly motivated.
Other than my deeply engrained good-girl fears of ‘being told off’ I had nothing to motivate me to go above and beyond.
Now, none of this was a major problem until I started working for myself.
Don’t get me wrong: I was living the dream. I got to shun that ‘oh god it’s Monday!’ feeling. I could stay up late on a Sunday night. Heck, I could stay up late any night!
I was the boss of me.
This was super fun! For… may be a month? That’s when I began to notice feelings that would become frequent visitors over the course of my freelance career:
Ung.. I don’t want to get out of bed - why should I bother?
What’s the point - nothing I do even works! No one wants what I make.
What the fuck should I do today? I have so much to do - I don’t know what to do!
And introverted dream aside, I was starting to feel lonely and isolated - no one could relate to what I was going through.
After all, I chose this. I asked for this dream - it was my responsibility that it had become a bit of a nightmare.
I was one demotivated creative introvert.
So this episode may not be useful for every single person listening: you might be in a full time job and very happy with your productivity thank you very much - but may be not. You might be trying to get a side-gig, a passion project off the ground in your free time and are struggling to motivate yourself and get it going.
Or you’re a freelancer who knows if they don’t get their act together, this month’s bills are going to be left unpaid. Or worse - you’ll have to go and get a ‘real job’ again.
My aim is to share what I’ve learned in my time as freelancer and solopreneur. What to do when you’re feeling unfocussed, demotivated and well, a bit depressed.
Well, I’ve been there and I know how painful it can feel. Now, we’re going to change that. We’re going to do this as a super tactical, super doable troubleshooting guide for the demotivated creative introvert.
I’m offering a free month of coaching to a randomly chosen podcast reviewer! Find out more hereTodays guest is kind of a big deal.
And not just because she’s a New York Times best selling author, or because she was voted as one of the Guardian’s Top 100 Creative Professionals of the Year or any of her other awards and accolades - Joanna Penn is a big freakin deal because it was her podcast - the Creative Penn - that was responsible for me entertaining the idea that one day, may be I too could have a podcast.
Ok - so may be that’s just why she’s a big deal to me. But if you aren’t already a fan of JP - her books, blog or podcast - then I’m willing to bet you will be by the end of this interview.
What we discussed:You can leave a rating and review on iTunes (here's how to do that) and I will be as happy as a kitten with a ball of yarn (or sob into my pillow, depending on what you write.)
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