Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

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Comedy
**Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson**

Hey Happy Campers! Camp Counselors is a good natured podcast hosted by your favorite fake camp counselors Zachariah and Jonathan. Here at Camp Shady Birch we love the great outdoors in theory, but we’d rather spend our time making friendship bracelets, spreading camper gossip, keeping our heads in the clouds, and avoiding archery. We know we would make great camp counselors minus the fact that we know nothing about camping. So grab your sunscreen and bug spray because things are about to get campy.

Latest Episodes:

190 - Feral at Fenway Jul 22, 2026

Show notes

This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!

Works Cited:

➜

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I Was A Myspace Urban Legend - Trail Mix #140 Jul 20, 2026

Show notes

In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a camper who stole a birthday sash and got cursed by a boho fairy, a camper trapped in her boyfriend’s house, and the tale of one camper who became the lead character in a Myspace urban legend.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here orListen online here!

Social Media:

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

189 - Cage Dancing for Shark Week Jul 15, 2026

Show notes

We’re talking Shark Week, Jaws, cushioned toilet seats, and Jonathan's SHOCKING discovery hidden inside a bowl of garlic butter mussels. We also get into Dolly Parton’s new Broadway musical, the Dolly-to-Buffy the Vampire Slayer pipeline (obvi), California returning Blues Beach to Indigenous tribes, overheated iPhones AND SO MUCH MORE!

This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!

Works Cited:

➜ Culwell-Block, Logan. “Dolly Musical Will Open on Broadway in 2027.” Playbill, 7 July 2026.

➜ Wigglesworth, Alex. “California Returns Stretch of Coast to Indigenous Tribes. ‘This Is beyond Huge.’” Los Angeles Times, 2 July 2026.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jehovah Witnessed Me Smuggling Contraband - Trail Mix #139 Jul 13, 2026

Show notes

In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a Jahova’s Witness caught with sticky contraband, an uninvited carpool passenger on the way to work, and the tale of a camper who survived leg day, but lost it all to Jersey Mike’s.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here orListen online here!

Social Media:

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

188 - These Oysters Are SCAMMING People Jul 08, 2026

Show notes

What does a heat rash, a speeding ticket, and a banana shaped car all have in common? They are all in this episode, duh! We're also unpacking a teen Elvis tribute competition, Connecticut’s identity crisis, TikTok pearl parties (allegedly) scamming people, the Wheel of Fortune's shady social media manager, and so much more!

This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!

Works Cited:

➜ Spartz, Isabel. “‘The World Needs More Whimsy’: Giant Banana Car Draws Attention, and a Traffic Stop, near Billings.” KBZK, 21 June 2026.

➜ Bates, Sophie. “With Jumpsuits, Wigs and Dance Moves, These Young Boys and Teens Keep Elvis’ Legacy Alive.” AP News, Associated Press, 8 June 2026.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This Dude's Car Accident Revealed a Whole Second Life - Trail Mix #138 Jul 06, 2026

Show notes

In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a camper in need of advice for her fiance with a bathroom-related tic in very public settings, a camper who just wanted to visit a coworker in the hospital and instead walked into a plot twist nobody at the office saw coming, and the tale of an AXE slinging devil at church camp.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here orListen online here!

Social Media:

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

187 - HAGS! (Have A Gay Summer!) Jul 01, 2026

Show notes

In the episode we’re talking about the “Have a Gay Summer” drama at Dartmouth High School and why one little Pride bulletin board had terrible ugly adults acting like literal idiodic children. We also get into two former nuns finding love, a robot cop that is terrible at their job, anoying little chipmunks taking over our bird feeder, Disney cruise family trauma... but dont worry bc Zach will close us out with the healing powers of Norah Jones.

This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!

Works Cited:

➜ Alves, Ian. “They Were Going to Be Nuns, Now They’re Married: ‘God Was Our Cupid.’” BBC News Brasil, 21 May 2026.

➜ Marchese, Tony. “Ohio Police Retire ‘Robocop’ After It Heroically Made Zero Arrests and Issued Zero Tickets in Nearly 10 Months.” On Tap Sports Net, 19 June 2026.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

My Hooters Booth Repair Fee - Trail Mix #137 Jun 29, 2026

Show notes

In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a camper who was forced to take her self-care routine to the streets, one camper who tea bagged too close to the sun and suffered the consequences, and a camper who went to Hooters for wings and left with structural damage on the bill.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here orListen online here!

Social Media:

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

186 - Hired then Fired: My Reality TV Truth Jun 24, 2026

Show notes

This week at Camp Shady Birch, Counselor Zachariah was almost cast on The Real Housewives, and then his reality TV career was revoked before it even had time to find a cute outfit. CRIMINAL!! We also talk about Kiki the sheep learning to drive, a $700k gold scam that ended in chocolate coins, milk frother slander, wig shopping, and so much more!!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!

Works Cited:

➜ Miller, Heather. “This Social Media Star Can’t Walk, but She Loves to Drive and Dance.” LiveNOW from FOX, 14 May 2026.

➜ Hogan, John, and Susan Samples. “Accused Scammer Gets Chocolate Coins Instead of $700K in Gold.” KTLA, 11 June 2026.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Broke Roommate Turns House into Rainforest Cafe - Trail Mix #136 Jun 22, 2026

Show notes

In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a camper who helped cover her roommate's portion of the rent only to find that she is funding the Rainforest Cafe, a camper whose cute little Irish getaway became a PetCo disaster, and a camper who had a scary run in with an alligator (and it WASN'T Princess Girl).

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here orListen online here!

Social Media:

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.