But Not All At Once

Latest Episodes:

Do They Host Playgroups for Grown-Ups? Nov 20, 2019

Show notes

We can't sniffle our way through every episode, so here's a 100% tissue-free chat with my dearest friend. On today’s episode, Erin Demo and I tackle listener questions about the tricky business of friendship while adulting.
How can you be a better friend? How do we meet new people but avoid FOMO? Where can we squeeze in time for friends when no one's schedules align?
Is "picking up where you left off" even a good thing? And will we ever be able to have full conversations again, or is texting memes back and forth all day an acceptable substitute?
You're essentially listening in on our daily chat, so please enjoy our forays into the "blind friend date" that was our first meeting, our grad school penchant for Pizza Hut, Door Dash as a form of friendship currency, and why elementary school D.A.R.E. classes led me to believe I'd be offered drugs on a regular basis.
(Spoiler alert: This belief was patently, hilariously false. Worksheets full of ways to say 'no' went to utter waste.)
This week's episode is sponsored by Kentwool, a family-owned, South Carolina-based company that makes the downright dreamiest socks you'll ever put on what Mae calls her "widdle feetie toes." You can learn more at kentwool.com or @kentwool on social media.

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

A Restoration Story with Hadley Eddings Nov 13, 2019

Show notes

Four years ago, Hadley Eddings was nine months pregnant with a two-year-old in the backseat. She felt a nudge to turn around and say, "I love you." After that, life as she knew it turned upside down.
In a tragedy that made headlines, a multi-car accident injured both Hadley and her husband, Gentry, as they drove home from a family wedding. Rushed into an emergency c-section alone, Hadley awoke to learn her oldest son, Dobbs, hadn't survived; days later, after a life-flight to a NICU in another city, they lost newborn Reed as well.
The Eddingses’ story of grief, forgiveness and restoration has changed lives, and hearing it myself was as emotional as I've ever been in an interview.
Hadley shares practical take-aways for how we can help those around us who are grieving, as well as what we shouldn't ever say. She walks us through the days and years after her loss, learning she was pregnant again, the birth of her twin sons, and the day she realized they were older than their brothers would ever be on this Earth.
You'll hear us discuss the Dobbs and Reed Eddings School in Haiti, run by Mission of Hope. If you'd like to learn more, visit missionofhope.com. You can even select a student to sponsor by age, grade or gender; it's nearly impossible to look at their sweet faces without wanting to hop a flight and hug every last one yourself.
Hadley and Gentry are passionate about adoption as well. Their sister and brother-in-law, whose wedding ceremony we discuss in this episode, brought baby Eli home this fall, their second adoption in two years. If you would like to contribute to their adoption fundraiser, you can do so at gofundme.com/thejusticefamilyisgrowing.
This week's episode was sponsored by The Campbell Collective, an online art showroom that has offered a one-time 10% discount for our listeners; just use "atonce" when you check out at campbellcollective.co. You can see more at @thecampbellcollective on Instagram.
As always, you can email me at butnotallatonce@gmail.com and find me as @butnotallatonce everywhere else.

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

Playing the Long Game with Cristin Cooper Oct 30, 2019

Show notes

Lifestyle blogger Cristin Cooper brought her trademark sense of humor to discuss building a business, feeling good about yourself (and your social media feed) whatever your shape, the unseen work behind her success, her life hacks, the tiny spangled outfits worn by college dance teams, and what keeps her from throwing things when she gets unnecessary feedback from strangers on the interwebs.
I was inspired by her work ethic, strategic mind, self-acceptance, light-hearted approach to online criticism, and the candor with which she discusses every aspect of her life and business. Especially her "overly sassy" thoughts on high-waisted bikinis.
You can find Cristin at cristincooper.com or @cristincooper across social media.
You'll also hear us mention two favorites she "influenced" me to follow: comedian @heatherkmcmahan and fellow beauty blogger @lindseyreganthorne.
We appreciate our episode sponsor, Heather Young of Coldwell Banker Caine, whom you can reach at tinyurl.com/HeatherRealtor. Be sure to thank Heather for supporting But Not All At Once, but don’t ask her how many slices of sweet potato cake I’ve consumed in her presence; that’s irrelevant and she’d never be able to count anyway.

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

Not a Personal Flaw: Post Partum Mental Health Oct 23, 2019

Show notes

The Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, is the latest in a long, long line of mothers (and humans in general) who have faced massive life changes and the mental health struggles that can come along with them.
In today's episode, counselor Amanda Banks discusses the basics of post partum mental health - from the definitions of anxiety and depression to specific tips for those of us hoping to help hurting friends.
If you're struggling, please reach out to your OB or family doctor. You can find further resources at postpartum.com, the website of Post Partum Support International.
You can connect with Amanda Banks at greenvillecounseling.com or email her directly at abanks@greenvillecounseling.com.

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

"I'm Gonna Hustle" with Laura Cox Oct 16, 2019

Show notes

Laura Cox's creative outlet, a jewelry and accessories business, became her side hustle before she took the entrepreneurial leap into full-time self-employment.
Laura Cox Collection quickly found a niche in women wanting chic, affordable pieces accessible right from their Instagram feeds. What her followers may not know, though, is how many hats she wears, how her family and business became debt-free, or how much thought she puts into each aspect of her work.
Our chat covers mom guilt, outsourcing, Laura's best tips for productivity from home, advice for women wanting to make similar career moves, and how '90s styles and scents are back. (After our discussion, Instagram started showing me Y-necklace ads. Please tell me the same happens for you! Will we all be getting "the Rachel" again soon?)
You can follow @lauracoxcollection on Instagram or visit lauracoxcollection.com to connect with her directly.

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

Celebrating Everyone with Kim Jamieson Oct 09, 2019

Show notes

Kim Jamieson is a "ride or die" friend, public relations pro and homeowner; she holds two degrees and spends more time in airports than anyone who doesn't serve ginger ale or fly actual planes. She's a flat-out lovely human with a full, beautiful life.
Then a nurse caressing her arm as Kim gave blood this summer exclaimed, "You're not married? Why?! You're so pretty!" Enter But Not All At Once, where we aim to rid the world of thoughtless, if well-intended, comments.
Kim and I discuss single life in a coupled-up season, finding fulfillment in the path set before you, answering awkward questions with grace, and why "Mad Men" is well worth your time.
We dive into whether dinner parties should have odd numbers of guests, why hosting a billion baby showers more than earns you the right to have your own milestones celebrated, and the differences between chipwiches and plain ol' chocolate chip cookies.
We argue that everyone should be celebrated throughout their lives, not just in the seasons of marriage and baby-having. Kim will win you over in an instant, and you'll be just as ready as I am to hop a flight and split a plate of petits fours with her.
If you'd like to connect, you can find Kim at @kljamieson on Instagram. As always, you can reach me at @butnotallatonce or butnotallatonce@gmail.com.
No free baked goods or smoldering glances from Jon Hamm were accepted in exchange for our rave reviews in this podcast.

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

Tomato/Tomahto and Having Babies Abroad Oct 02, 2019

Show notes

Melissa Vanzant-Birch met a handsome stranger in a Boston Starbucks when she was a law student; just as if Hollywood screenwriters had scripted it, that chance meeting changed everything.
Today Melissa is a mom of two little Brits with a thriving London legal career far different from the one she imagined as an undergrad in Chapel Hill.
We discuss the indignity of our children correcting our pronunciation of words like zebra and tomato (or anything, quite frankly), the differences between American and British maternity experiences, her children's special requests of family members back home (spoiler alert: it's Cheez-Its and goldfish), our mutual desperation for the next generation to enjoy mashed potatoes as much as we do, and whether or not her legal career requires her to wear a powdered wig.
You can find Melissa on Instagram at @MVBinEngland.

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

Finding Your Place with The Nashville Mom Sep 25, 2019

Show notes

Just a few years ago, The Nashville Mom was a lifelong South Carolinian; today she is basically Reese Witherspoon's bestie. (That may be a stretch, but when Draper James hosts a launch party for you, isn't it a logical conclusion?)
Dawn Burns is now deeply rooted in a community that looks to her when it's time to do something new, celebrate a special occasion or a spend a fun weekend in her city.
The Nashville Mom chats with But Not All At Once about leaving her home state to start a new adventure, how on Earth you make friends when you're a grown-up, how her Instagram feed shows a jam-packed social life but she still spends days in jammies, and why you can't get what you want until you ask.
We got the details on her partnerships with Draper James and Southern Living, her thoughts on saying yes to the right things, and her encouragement to be brave and start something new.
You can find Dawn at thenashvillemom.com or @thenashvillemom on Instagram.
P.S. I stand by my words about Taylor Swift's new working woman theme song and Dabo Swinney's career path. Go ahead and @ me, y'all; I'm prepared to persuade you!

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

Never Him with Military Widow Danica Thomas Sep 18, 2019

Show notes

In the span of three years, Danica Thomas went from girlfriend to caregiver to wife to widowed mother of two. The life she'd signed up for was gone, and she never expected her husband’s would end so soon.
Allen, a two-time Purple Heart recipient, was critically injured in Afghanistan and forced to medically retire from the Army. Facing significant physical rehabilitation, a traumatic brain injury and PTSD, the Thomases renegotiated what the future would look like for their growing family. They navigated the VA's medical system, advocated for Allen's physical and mental health, and raised two girls along the way.
Six years ago this month, Allen Thomas died by suicide; Danica is determined that his life will save thousands of others. She has now mourned him longer than she knew him, and works as board chair of the Susan M. Tillis Foundation to serve other military families in his memory.
Whether you're facing single parenthood, the loss of a loved one, a mental health crisis or a life circumstance you didn't expect, Danica encourages you to lean on others and find strength you didn't know you had. (She promises it's in there.)
September is National Suicide Prevention Month; if you or a loved one need to talk, please call 1-800-273-8255.
Twenty-two veterans are lost to suicide each day. If you are or know a veteran in need of help, you can call the lifeline above and press 1 for counselors specific to military families; for virtual help, text 83825 or visit veteranscrisisline.net.
To connect with Danica, follow @danicasthomas on Instagram.

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

Dyslexia: Just a Label Sep 11, 2019

Show notes

Even when educator Bonnie McClain isn't in the classroom, her mind's on it: she's researching new techniques, reading about how to keep her fifth-graders engaged, and preparing herself for the work she calls her "passion."
Imagine her surprise when her oldest son, then in first grade, struggled to read and showed signs of dyslexia; of all people, she felt she'd have seen the signs. Bonnie shares her family's story and sheds light on a struggle estimated to affect one in five readers.
You wouldn't think a topic like this could make us guffaw and sniffle within the same interview, but we do both - and you may too. Learn why "dyslexic" is just a label, how you can keep an eye out for it, what it really means and how there is tremendous hope for all our kids to thrive regardless of how they learn.
The article Anne references can be found at tinyurl.com/dyslexiaED. To learn more about dyslexia, visit dyslexia.yale.edu.

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.