Friends, I come to you with fantastic news for me personally and for our nation.
After thirty-something years of believing that not being born on American soil disqualified me from running for president, I learned yesterday that isn’t true. Pennsylvania Avenue, here I come; it’s not too late to fulfill my middle school “first female president” superlative.
I am unable to donate blood to this day because my brief time in England coincided with a mad cow disease outbreak, so I’ve sacrificed enough due to my birth abroad. (All those cookies.)
It seems like what we need now is more heart, humor and compassion in our political arena, so I am tossing my hat in the ring and need help with my campaign slogan. Have a favorite?
Smith 2020: We’re All Just Doing the Best We Can.
Smith 2020: I Think Somebody Needs a Nap.
Smith 2020: You Seem Cranky. Want a Snack?
Smith 2020: Y’all Need to Calm Down.
Smith 2020: Act Like You Have Some Sense.
Smith 2020: Bless Your Heart AND Your Brain.
Smith 2020: I Need You to Use Your Kind Words and Inside Voices.
Smith 2020: Help, Encourage or Hush.
I’ll be the first party-less-but-joy-filled candidate ever, and plan to run on a platform of “Don’t Call Yourself the South if You Don’t Serve Sweet Tea” and “Wave When Someone Lets You Out Into Traffic, for Heaven’s Sake.”
The White House will have one heck of a First Gentleman in Bradley "the Podfather" Smith, and what I can’t accomplish as Commander in Chief will surely be handled by First Toddler Margaret “Mae-Mae” Smith. She rules her three older siblings with an iron fist, so watch out, America.
You’re welcome to toss out your own campaign slogan, even if you weren’t born overseas, at @butnotallatonce on Instagram. At this point I think we should have millions of presidential candidates, just to get chuckle-worthy slogans on koozies. How else are we to survive the next 15 months?
Also, you're welcome for the random and embarrassing insights about me as both a first-grader and a grad student; as you can tell, not much has changed. But vote for me all the same! Or at least my pro-snack, pro-nap, pro-politeness slogans.
To hear my interview with Influential Motherhood podcast, visit tinyurl.com/InfluentialAnne.
Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love your thoughts, questions, ideas, and everything in between. You can find me at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or ButNotAllAtOnce.com.
For extra content, additional episodes, and upcoming guest follow-ups, visit Patreon.
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