Brain First Parenting with Eileen Devine

Latest Episodes:

Ep. 11 | "You Ruin Everything!" Mar 10, 2025

Show notes

SUMMARY -

In this episode, Eileen speaks to the experience of parenting a child who is often times seen as the kid who "ruins everything". She breaks down what is actually happening when a child's behavior appears to be intentional and willful, how to shift to seeing them through a Brain First Parenting lens, and steps parents can take to proactively prevent the same outcome in the future.

TAKEAWAYS:

Having a child who is seen as "ruining everything" is unfortunately a common experience for parents of kids with brain-based differences and challenging behavioral symptoms.
In these hard moments, the task for parents is to shift from a behavioral lens to a Brain First lens. Eileen provides some ideas on how to do this.
What parents can focus and reflect on after the difficult experience has passed, to deepen their understanding of their child and proactively build in more accommodations for future events to prevent the same negative outcome.
What a child begins to believe about themselves when they are seen as "ruining everything" and how parents can buffer against these negative outcomes.

RELATED BLOG POSTS:

Tending Both Sides of the Parenting Coin

Reconsidering What It Means to Be Resilient

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Ep. 9 | Let Go of the Fear That You're Over-Accommodating Feb 10, 2025

Show notes

SUMMARY - In this episode, Eileen walks through a common fear that many parents hold, which is that if they fully accommodate their child or teen, that they will prevent their child from growing, developing and maturing.

TAKEAWAYS

Why, exactly, we provide accommodations to kids, teens, and young adults who have brain-based differences
Why accommodations are the path towards less challenging behavioral symptoms
It is a normal part of learning to parent from a Brain First lens to have a concern that you (the parent) are over-accommodating your child or teen
We all need adequate support in our various environments to be able to keep our thinking brain on-line, stay in our window of tolerance and grow in our skills
When kids live with brain-based differences and a fragile nervous system, they need even greater accommodations to experience felt-safety and navigate their world successfully, due to their unique neurobiology
Accommodations do not stunt growth, they are the very thing that promotes growth and helps our kids mature

RELATED BLOG POSTS:

6 Key Questions that Lead to Effective Accommodations

Understanding the Window of Tolerance - Pt. 1

The Brain First approach will change how you parent

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Ep. 8 | Help Your Child Break the Perseveration Loop Jan 27, 2025

Show notes

SUMMARY -

In this episode, Eileen will break down the common and often exhausting behavioral symptom called perseveration. She takes the listeners through what perseveration looks like behaviorally, so parents can identify it in their child or teen; how it is connected to the brain; and how parents can help their child when they get stuck in perseveration loops.

TAKEAWAYS

The definition of perseveration
The difference between perseveration and OCD
How to see this behavioral symptom through a Brain First lens
What cognitive skills are connected to perseveration
How you can identify preservation in your child or teen
What you can do as a parent to help break the perseveration loop your child or teen is stuck in
Common experiences for a parent who has a child or teen experiencing perseveration

RELATED BLOG POSTS:

Getting Unstuck: 4 Ways to Help Your Child Break the Perseveration Loop

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Ep. 7 | Understanding the Difficult Maturity Gap Jan 13, 2025

Show notes

SUMMARY -

In this episode, Eileen takes you, step-by-step, through a universal and highly misunderstood characteristic seen in kids and teens with brain-based differences, which is a maturity gap in comparison to same-aged peers. She explains how this gap is connected to the brain, how to identify it for what it is (as a lagging cognitive skill set), and how to more successfully support a child or teen who experiences this gap.

TAKEAWAYS

Why kids with brain-based differences so often behave in ways that are seen as "immature"
How this "immaturity" is connected to their unique brain
How this behavioral symptom is typically viewed (through a behavioral lens), and how to shift our understanding of it to a Brain First lens
Dysmaturity: what it is and how to identify it in your child or teen
How to respond to dysmaturity from a Brain First lens, allowing you to help your child or teen grow in their cognitive skills
Common experiences for a parent who has a child or teen experiencing dysmaturity

RELATED BLOG POSTS:

Helping Our Children Navigate Friendships

Dysmaturity and the Challenges of Friendship

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Ep. 6 | Your Child Is Not the Problem Dec 30, 2024

Show notes

SUMMARY -

In this episode, Eileen explains why kids who live with neurobehavioral conditions and are always seen as "the problem," are actually kids who are doing the best they can; they are highly misunderstood and need more support for their brain-based difference. She explains how the actual problem is society's view of behaviors, and how this behavioral lens is what leads to kids with brain-based differences experiencing challenging behavioral symptoms.

TAKEAWAYS

Kids with brain-based differences are not "the problem." The "problem" begins with the way in which society views their differences.
Viewing behaviors through a Brain First lens allows us to see challenging behaviors as symptoms of an environment that is lacking needed accommodations.
It is essential to look at the true, root cause of the behavior, so that adequate supports can be put in place, which leads to less of the challenging behaviors.

RELATED BLOG POSTS:

Moving Forward by Circling Back

'Why Can't We Be Friends?' - Cognitive Skills Your Child Needs for Successful Relationships...

Helping Our Children Navigate Friendships

Dysmaturity and the Challenges of Friendship

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Ep. 3 | Help Your Rigid Thinking Child Become More Flexible Nov 11, 2024

Show notes

SUMMARY

In this episode, Eileen explains what it looks like when a child, teen, or young adult lags behind in the skills to be cognitively flexible, and how to then accommodate them in this specific skill set.

TAKEAWAYS

The definition of cognitive rigidity
Common behaviors that reflect this lagging skill in kids and teens
How parents can help their children and teens grow in this cognitive skill set
What parents can expect to see, think, and feel as they shift their lens from a behavioral lens to a Brain First lens with this specific skill set
Concrete and specific steps parents can take to support and accommodate a child or teen who struggles with cognitive flexibility

RESOURCES

Blog Post: The Uncompromising Child: Four Responses to Rigid Thinking

Free Infographic Poster: 8 Necessary Mind Shifts

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Ep. 2 | Step One to Understanding Your Child or Teen Nov 11, 2024

Show notes

SUMMARY

In this episode, Eileen delves into the first step to understanding a neurodiverse child, teen, or young adult with challenging behaviors.

TAKEAWAYS

This first, essential step to understanding your child who lives with a brain-based difference and challenging behaviors begins with neuroscience research on the brain/behavior connection.
Understanding the foundation behind the Brain First Parenting approach is where we always need to begin as parents.
Feeling internal resistance to seeing your child or teen through a Brain First lens is understandable, expected, and an opportunity for growth.
The difference between seeing your child or teen through a behavioral lens vs a Brain First lens.

RESOURCES

Your Lens Matters FREE downloadable infographic

Blog Post: The Brain First Approach Will Change How You Parent

Blog Post: Looking Through a Different Lens

Thanks for listening! Please be sure to review and share the Brain First Parenting podcast with any listeners who might be interested. To see more tools, resources and learn more about Eileen you can visit eileendevine.com

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube