Bliss and Grit

Latest Episodes:

Ep 61: Should We Focus on Positivity? Dec 12, 2017

Show notes

This week's episode is about positivity; and wow do we have a lot to say. After reading a question from a listener who was exploring the merits of being a "positive person" versus embodying a state of authenticity, we got deeply curious. Given that spiritual teachers and traditions, even neuroscience, point us towards the wellness benefits of positive states should we focus on bringing our attention towards what uplifts us? This conversation feels especially timely to us as we enter the Holiday Season, which can be full of high expectations about how happy and grateful we should be. We went to town exploring this topic covering heavy hitting questions like; what happens when the idea that we should be positive actually evokes states of shame that inhibit presence and healing? What is the soil for genuine positivity? Can our attachment to being happy decrease our ability to be genuinely positive? If we shift from always trying to be the positive people how do we show up authentically in relationship to others without adding our distress to the mix? We even tie the episode off with a holiday bow by throwing in some of our tools in on how to relate authentically even when you're in the trauma vortex. Happy listening!

Ep 60: Are We Responsible for Others? Dec 05, 2017

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We're talking about the age old question, "Am I responsible for others?" It's a trickier question than at first glance- it can be utilized and lived out in a myriad of ways: We can wear it as a weighty mantle where we are carrying others on our backs. We can take an "I know better than other's and can control or fix or sort out things better than they can" and we can swing the pendulum to the opposite extreme and say that if everyone is living their life just as they should, if there are no errors and I am not in control of everything- well then I can "let go and let God" and hide out as the transendent one. If we can't fix, control or save people, and if doing the spiritual person disappearing act isn't helpful, what does genuine responsibility to one another look like?

Ep 59: On Making Yourself a Problem Nov 21, 2017

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This week's episode is about exploring the ways in which we can come to identify with ourselves as "someone with problems." Acknowledging aspects of ourselves that are unhealed or messy can be painful, yet we can still have this funny way of seeing and representing ourselves as the broken one. In a recent retreat with teacher John Prendergast Brooke had a revelation that some of her patterning linked back to getting rewarded earlier in life when she wasn't well. This understanding kicked off a beautiful conversation for us where we explore safety, holding complexity and the real habitual tendency we can have to downplay ourselves and stay small.

Ep 58: Over-Identifying with the Body Nov 14, 2017

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We are all about the embodied spiritual path over here and we have endless respect and gratitude for these miraculous bodies that we get to live in. But can we over-identify with our bodies? What are the repercussions of that? It seems in spiritual worlds we swing the pendulum between ignoring the body completely to making it the total focus of attention. What do those extremes look like and what might a useful middle way be?

Ep 57: Groundlessness Again? Nov 07, 2017

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In this episode we're talking about what happens when you lose the sense that you "have it all together." As humans we're always trying to pin things down. We want to categorize, create step-by-step action plans, essentially identify and solidify life, including ourselves, in As we evolve on our own paths, we're noticing that our ability to conceive of ourselves as people who have it all together is slipping through our fingers, and we've got a lot to say about why that's challenging. In the process though, we're also offering a potential new way to orient towards life as the ability to pin things down falls away.

Ep 56: Mercy to the Humans: A Conversation With Jeannie Zandi Oct 31, 2017

Show notes

Today we are thrilled to be joined by teacher Jeannie Zandi. Jeannie is a spiritual teacher who experienced a years long profound dark night of the soul, and here is what she says in her own words about her teaching, "I will use anything I find at my fingertips or that upwells within me to teach and hold space for those who are hungry to turn themselves inside out and live their essence. I will take you to the edge of the abyss and lovingly hold you there. I will tenderly call your name, sing to you, expose your funny spots, hold a radically protected space for your tenderest gooey center, and welcome you into the arms of the nourishing moment to shine as the living presence that you are. I'm fearless, fully engaged, and utterly reliant on the holy." And boy howdy, did we find that to be true. In this conversation we get into our own tender spots, as we always do, but this time with Jeannie holding space for them. We talk about inadequecy and unworthiness, fear, outright terror, and the desire to finally get it together and have it all tidied up. Trauma, the inner tendency to push and to eradicate all the "badness" in us, and our dominant culture of unhealthy yang which can barely even fathom healthy yin. We talk dark night, the creature of the body, and mercy, mercy, mercy for this whole human journey.

Ep 55: Hearing the Unseen Worlds Oct 24, 2017

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Today we're talking about what can be called the "unseen worlds." The unseen worlds can include everything that is outside of our everyday, rational-mind consciousness. Think- intuition, energy, auras, chakras, guardian angels… and other aspects of formless support. In reality, we're all connected to vast amounts of wisdom and resources, yet so often we're not consciously aware of it. Our discussion this week moves through two levels of this exploration; first, how it's possible for us to miss the wisdom and support coming our way because we expect it to arrive differently than it does, and second how to adjust our frequency so we can better hear the languages reality speaks to us in. Naturally, much of this talk circles back to major themes such as learning to listen and trusting your life.

Ep 54: The Spiritual Path is Not a Benzo Oct 17, 2017

Show notes

We all want more peacefulness but we can't tranquilize ourselves into peacefulness. When we use our paths as an energetic lid on things we don't want to face it's not just a desire for peace- it is a fear mechanism. We talk about how the labor of facing the things that aren't in alignment for us can indeed be painful, but as with any birth there is something else on the other side of all that labor. What if we said it is possible for all categories of your life to be in total fulfillment. Is that one of the most challenging and blasphemous things we can say? When we leave behind simplistic, and I would say harmful, bright-siding ideas that if we can just think happy thoughts we get a happy life, what is this process we are actually talking about? How do clarity and unconditional love for the self lead to an aligned life? What is an aligned life?

Ep 53: Awakening FOMO Oct 03, 2017

Show notes

This week we're talking about Awakening, or as Brooke lovingly refers to it, the A-word. A few episodes back we spoke on The Nervous System and Awakening. Afterwards we received several follow up questions such as What is awakening anyway? Should I be doing it? Am I missing out on something? Hence the playful episode title Awakening FOMO. Really though, in this episode we get into what our thoughts and personal experiences are on what awakening actually means, why we find it vulnerable to talk about, and of course how we support ourselves in what we believe is the path towards living our fullest human potential.

Ep 52: Attachment Issues and Spirituality Sep 26, 2017

Show notes

Today's episode is a Dear Bliss and Grit- which means one of our lovely listeners wrote us in a question and we had a bunch to say about it! Thank you Jeannie for emailing this one over. Jeannie asks, "As I listened to you talk today, a question arose, which arose again when listening to Matt Kahn on your recommendation. Matt talks a lot about you be the one that you turn to. You tell yourself the things you've always needed to hear. I don't mean to set up a polarization in the question itself, but I'd love to listen to you talk about times when we need to be our own primary caretaker, and times when we can allow ourselves to be cared for by another. As mammals, we are born with bodies and brains that anticipate being "embedded in a nest of warm relationships." When we (often) find that we aren't being seen or embraced, it is a violation of that most basic expectation and need. As someone who can swing to all corners of the attachment spectrum, I'm interested in deepening my understanding of when spiritual practice becomes avoidant of intimate relationship, when it's necessary to be seen, heard, and held by another, and further refinement in discerning the relationship between attachment and spirituality."

Jeannie's question gets to the heart of attachment issues and spirituality. We unpack what the different attachment styles are, and how we can often choose spiritual practices and paths that can deepen our own attachment issues. And ultimately how can we work with self-compassion and loving whatever arises to make ourselves more available for secure and satisfying bonding with others.

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