Bite Your Tongue: The Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Season 2, Episode 26 Millennial Therapist: What are the Unique Struggles of Today's Young Adults Apr 01, 2022

Show notes

Today Ellen and Denise welcome Tess Brigham, a licensed psychotherapist, life coach and former twenty-something. In a recent article from CNBC Tess says: “Over a decade ago, when I first became a therapist, I never expected that five years later, my practice would consist of nearly 90% millennials, with the rest of my patients being parents of millennials.” So she’s got both sides of the story for us.

Tess has been featured in major media throughout the US - from the New York Times to O Magazine. So, we are pretty excited to have her with us today.

In that recent CNBC article, she says that the number one complaint parents have about their adult kids is money. With that lead, we thought we’d challenge Tess with helping us with constructive strategies for the TOP 10 issues between adult kids and their parents.
Listen to hear what she says. We talk about:

How she became a millennial therapist
Social Media: Keeping up with the Jones'
How are millennials different from our generation
What is it about this generation that no other generation has experienced before?
Why is this stage of emerging adults so difficult?

Tess Brigham Coaching
YouTube Channel - lots of tips and tricks
Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.
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Season 2, Episode 25: "Okay Stupid," and OTHER THINGS YOUR ADULT KIDS SAY ABOUT YOU Mar 18, 2022

Show notes

This is a fun episode. Today Denise interviews Stanford grads and Brooklyn comedians Carolyn Doyle and Emily Kop.
Always wanting to understand and relate to the younger generation, we found these two 20-somethings by listening to their podcast called OKAY STUPID. While listening Denise found herself gasping as they spoke so personally about their lives - including their sex lives.
We wanted to learn more - about them, their podcast, their relationship with their parents and of course, their generation.
Caroline grew up in San Francisco and has performed stand-up in Chicago, Berlin, the Bay Area and New York, as well as at comedy festivals like SF Sketchfest, the DC Comedy Festival, and Big Little Comedy Fest. She's also a contributor to Reductress and McSweeney’s. I learned after the interview that she is also a mechanical engineer!
Emily Kop, also from California, has a lower profile but also performs regularly with Caroline and you can follow her on INSTAGRAM.
They've been best friends since their freshman year at Stanford.

It's a lively conversation about all of these things and more...and a chance to meet these two incredible young women who are following unique paths in life.
Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.
Support us P L E A S E!
Buy us a coffee: LINK HERE
Buy a mug: LINK HERE
Great Deal for Listeners!
Denise's favorite shape-wear company. Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra. "It holds you up and is so comfortable. I am hooked - truly," says Denise. Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.

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Season 2 Episode 24: Building Your Best Life After the Empty Nest with Julia Pimsluer Mar 04, 2022

Show notes

Ellen joins Denise in today's episode as we chat with Julia Pimsluer. Denise actually met Julia in a coffee shop in New York and the two began to chat.
Julia is a scaling couch, speaker and best-selling author. She is founder of Million Dollar Women, a New York-based social venture, which has helped thousands of women entrepreneurs scale their businesses. Prior to that, she founded and built Little Pim, a language learning program for young children, into a million-dollar company.
GO Big Now, Julia Pimsluer
Finding Your Own North Star, by Martha Beck
The Power of Regret, Daniel Pink (How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward)
"The Power of Regret shows how we can live richer, more engaged lives."
Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.
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Season 2, Episode 23 Mothering Difficult Adult Children Feb 18, 2022

Show notes

Today Ellen and Denise interviewed Judith Smith, the author of a new book called: Difficult: Mothering Challenging Adult Children through Conflict and Change.

Judith is a leader in gerontological research focusing on women’s experiences as they age. She is a senior clinical social worker, therapist, and professor at Fordham University. She lives in New York City.

Difficult focuses on adult children and takes the unique perspective of the mother. I struggled reading this book and felt such compassion for these mothers and the sacrifices they made.
Judith wrote the book because she discovered that there was very little written about parenting adult children and in particular for these mothers who were saddled with very difficult situations.
Judith is writing about a particular set of mothers. Mothers truly who have difficult adult children.
She talks about her hope that using the words, "difficult adult child" will help others understand and be supportive. She says that 80 percent of all children are being raised in a single family home and the person carrying most of the weight is the mother. That is changing, but not by much.
There are no magical answers but she pushed herself to think about this and offers some tools both on the episode and in the book. Here final hope is that this book will help these mothers not feel alone.
Some links: JASA. Book: Torn in Two. Prochaska and DiClemte's Stages of Change Alanon.
Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.
Support us P L E A S E!
Buy us a coffee: LINK HERE
Buy a mug: LINK HERE
Great Deal for Listeners!
Denise's favorite shape-wear company. Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra. "It holds you up and is so comfortable. I am hooked - truly," says Denise. Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.

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Season 2, Episode 22: When They're Grown, the Real Pain Begins Jan 25, 2022

Show notes

This is one funny episode.
Today we interview Susan Engel, a professor of psychology at Williams College and the author of the New York Times Article: When They're Grown, The Real Pain Begins.
Joining Denise as co-host is a dear friend Val Haller. Val is the mother of four boys, very similar to the ages of Susan's boys when she wrote this article so she is our perfect co-host. (more about Val at the end)
Susan tells us that this article still gets very much attention and you can see this by just looking at the over 500 comments and the angst and of course love in so many of them.
One of the lines in her NYT story that resonated with us was a quote from a neighbor when she brought her first baby home at a few months old -- "“When they’re little they sit on your lap; when they’re big they sit on your heart.”
Susan takes us through her journey when she wrote the article in 2012 and her three boys were 28, 25 and 19. Today, ten years later, she is a grandmother with two of these three boys married and living right next door. Can you imagine?

About Val Haller - our co-host:
Val lives in Chicago and is passionate about music. She is the founder/CEO of the music website Valslist.com. She launched it about 10 years ago (when her nest was empty) and it is the first music site specifically created to help busy adults keep up with new music. Check it out.
Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.
Support us P L E A S E!
Buy us a coffee: LINK HERE
Buy a mug: LINK HERE
Great Deal for Listeners!
Denise's favorite shape-wear company. Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra. "It holds you up and is so comfortable. I am hooked - truly," says Denise. Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.

Support the show

Season I Episode 21 We're On it! Answering Listener Questions Jan 21, 2022

Show notes

WE ARE ON IT! Answering YOUR Questions!
Today's Question:
How do you handle a situation where your adult child is participating in what you believe is dangerous behavior?

They are not getting the COVID Vaccine
You suspect they are drinking too much
You recognize an abusive relationship

These are just a few of the topics we discuss with two experts. The first you may remember from a previous episode (TALK THE TALK) with Dr. Susan Heitler, a renowned relationship therapist. She is best known for clarifying the basics of collaborative dialogue and provides wonderful techniques to use - not only with your adult children but for all of the relationships in your life you value.
Dr. Heitler's Website
We do some "role playing" and she helps us with the right words, right tone and right attitude to approach our adult children on these difficult subjects.
VACCINE HESITANCY
And because COVID-19 is such a central topic and concern these days, we also spoke with Rupali J. Limaye, PhD, MPH, MA who serves as a full-time faculty member with Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. She is a leading researcher in vaccine demand; vaccine hesitancy; vaccine acceptance; health behavior change; infectious diseases.
In her work she has interviewed thousands of vaccine hesitant people and believes
that vaccine hesitancy comes down to one word: TRUST. She says: "It’s really important for all of us to keep empathy front and center and to not be dismissive. A lot of people just need to talk it out and have a longer conversation."
Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.
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Follow up on our social media platforms

And remember - sometimes you might just have to BITE YOUR TONGUE!

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Season 2 Episode 20: My Everything with Einat Nathan Jan 07, 2022

Show notes

The parent I hope to be. The Children I hope to raise.
We believe that this episode will change everything you think ever thought about parenting.
This is one of the most personal interviews we've done. Our vulnerability in raising our own adult children is challenged.
On this week's episode we speak with Einat Nathan, parenting expert and best selling author.
We talk to her about her recent book, My Everything, was released in Israel in 2018 and become a national bestseller. The book was translated into English and is now one of the #1 non-fiction books selling on Amazon.
Her approach is relationship focused. She says: "“I believe that parenthood is like a bungee jump. It’s scary and fun, it makes you fly and often lets you down. This book isn’t so much a parenting guide as an exploration of the complex emotional journey of being a parent, reminding us of the courage and energy it requires as well as acknowledging that no parent is perfect and at the end of the day, this relationship is about connection”.
MY NAME IS EINAT AND THIS IS MY EVERYTHING
We talk about everything from our egos, why anxiety is a misleading emotion, how to remain significant as our children grow and here are a few things she said that keeps us thinking:

"Just as you think about a talk with a good friend, they need us curious enough, empathic enough, ready to have their back in a way that won't burden them with 'Oh God, I've ruined by mom's day' or 'She's over-identifying with me so maybe I should not tell her anything'"
Every parent wants to be their adult child's first call when something goes wrong, but we need to earn that.

And how do we earn that? Just listen and learn.
Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.
Support us P L E A S E!
Buy us a coffee: LINK HERE
Buy a mug: LINK HERE
Great Deal for Listeners!
Denise's favorite shape-wear company. Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra. "It holds you up and is so comfortable. I am hooked - truly," says Denise. Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.

Support the show

Season I Episode 19 Finale: A Surprise Compilation of the Season Dec 24, 2021

Show notes

Listeners,
Enjoy these pearls of wisdom garnered by our amazing guests this year. Thank you to our audio engineer Connie Fisher who brilliantly put this together.
We hope you will go to our website biteyourtonguepodcast.com and listen to any of the episodes you missed in the first season.
Looking forward to meeting again in 2022.
Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.
Support us P L E A S E!
Buy us a coffee: LINK HERE
Buy a mug: LINK HERE
Great Deal for Listeners!
Denise's favorite shape-wear company. Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra. "It holds you up and is so comfortable. I am hooked - truly," says Denise. Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.

Support the show

Season I Episode 18: What Legal Documents Your Adult Children Need Now! Dec 10, 2021

Show notes

Today we speak with the amazing Sarah Morris, a legacy and estate planning attorney in Denver, Colorado. Sarah specializing in wills, trusts, and philanthropy. She was recommended to us by a very trusted friend and listener. When our friend gave Sarah a rating of a 10 +, we knew she was our gal.
This is a great episode to listen to with your kids or share the link so they can understand the legal documents that they need to have by the time they are 18-years-old.
This is a quick episode that gets right to the point.
Listen to hear what documents your adult kids must have at 18-years-old. Why the items are important and how they should be stored and shared. She also discusses the ever-important - digital assets.

Here is Sarah's website -- Sarah Morris Law -- if you want to speak with her more or want advice on getting started.
We hope you enjoy the episode.

If you've missed any of our episodes, just visit our website: Biteyoutonguepodcast.com and listen when you can!

One quick favor: If you liked this episode - please share with a friend - but for sure listen with your adult child -- or share the episode with them!
Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.
Support us P L E A S E!
Buy us a coffee: LINK HERE
Buy a mug: LINK HERE
Great Deal for Listeners!
Denise's favorite shape-wear company. Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra. "It holds you up and is so comfortable. I am hooked - truly," says Denise. Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.

Support the show

Season I Episode 17 Part II: Holidays - and your Adult Children - Ginny Jones Nov 25, 2021

Show notes

Welcome to another episode of BITE YOUR TONGUE. The is part 2 of "Holidays and your Adult Children."
Connie Fisher, our audio engineer co-hosted this episode with Denise. They are sisters and figured that they had spent a lot of time going home for the holidays! So this was a fun episode to record.

Ginny offered quite a bit of insightful observations that will get all of us to think:

Relationships are dances - and if the parent/child relationship does not evolve (from parent/child to adult/adult) -- we just keep dancing the same dance.
She gives us some great advice on how we, as parents can work on our dance and in turn, help the relationship to evolve.
She explains that criticism and judgement come from fear. We may not think we are showing our fear, but our adult kids feel it and then.....
Active listening - you will hear what she says about this!
Ginny also has a specialty in eating disorders and she shares some interesting thoughts about food and the one thing not to do if you think your child has a weight issue.

We don't want to give the whole episode away, but urge you to listen and really think about Ginny's advice and ideas.

Many things she says are different from anything you've heard before - and frankly - it really starts us YOU......

A thoughtful and insightful episode we think you will love.

Here is a link to Ginny's article: "Why Adult Kids Don't Come Home for the Holidays."
Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.
Support us P L E A S E!
Buy us a coffee: LINK HERE
Buy a mug: LINK HERE
Great Deal for Listeners!
Denise's favorite shape-wear company. Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra. "It holds you up and is so comfortable. I am hooked - truly," says Denise. Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.

Support the show

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