Birth Stories in Color

Latest Episodes:

89 | Bringing Birth Back Home - Najla Muhammad Jaaber Feb 04, 2021

Show notes

Najla Muhammad joins us to share her controversial birth story set in a foreign land with laws in place that didn’t fit her birth vision. She had experienced birth in a hospital with her previous pregnancies but always wanted to birth at home. Now she decided to not only birth at home but that she also wanted to have an unassisted birth. She and her husband were in agreement with each other and sought to create a space in their home to fit that choice. They were living abroad in Egypt, where home births are considered illegal. They explored the option of having some prenatal care and the possibility of a midwife and doula attending as a precaution.

Najla was moved to stick to her convictions and honor her knowledge, intuition, and spiritual direction. Her birth unfolded and revealed more of who she knew she was. Najla continues to honor this practice of self-direction in pregnancy and birth through Maryam’s Womb - providing holistic birth support and womb health education for women and teens.

88 | Joy & Sorrow Can Occupy the Same Space - Dani Kilgore Jan 28, 2021

Show notes

This is a story that includes loss - In memory of William Jr.

Dani describes her story as a faith journey to motherhood - a journey that has included pain, joy but also lots of hope. In 2010, a year into their marriage Dani and her husband found out they were pregnant. Yet early into this pregnancy, they would experience a miscarriage. Processing through that, they decided to wait before trying again, and three years later, Dani was pregnant. They found out it was a boy and knew they wanted to name him William Jr. after her husband.

At 20 weeks, Dani began having spotting and increased bleeding. She spoke with her doctor, they did testing, but no cause for the bleeding was found. Yet at 32 weeks, Dani was having severe headaches, and being someone who was very in tuned with their body, Dani knew something was wrong. Staying persistent with her doctors, they discovered she had preeclampsia and would need to stay at the hospital until she reached full term. But at 28 weeks, September 2013, her placenta would stop working, and William Jr. was born. But William's time earthside would be short, and after a hard fight, he would pass that November.

The passing of their son was extremely difficult for them. Working through their grief, they leaned into their family, friends, and support through therapy. During this time, they were connected with the March of Dimes. For Dani, March of Dimes provider her with the hope she needed. Connecting with other families with the same shared experience allowed them all to know they were not navigating this alone. Participating in the March of Dimes walk allows her and her husband to honor their son and the children they never met.

This support and hope carried them through another miscarriage in 2014 and then becoming pregnant with their daughter Harper in 2015. Understanding her health history, Dani and her husband decided with their care team to have a surgical birth with Harper at 35 weeks. As a result of being born premature, she was diagnosed with Sensorineural hearing loss (SNHL) - where audio fibers in her ear either didn't develop or did and died. Because of that, she does wear bilateral hearing aids. But as Dani described beyond that, "she is doing well" and a "sign that miracles can happen!"

Sponsors:

March of Dimes | education, research, support & advocacy for moms and babies

March of Dimes, the leading nonprofit fighting for the health of all moms and babies, is observing National Birth Defects Prevention Month in January 2021. This is an annual event in which March of Dimes partners with the U.S. Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) to generate awareness among women of childbearing age and families about actions they can take to help prevent birth defects. Join the conversation about National Birth Defects Prevention Month by following hashtag #Best4YouBest4Baby on social media and by visitingMarch of Dimes at marchofdimes.org/BSiC.

87 | A Mother's Work - Oriel McKinney Jan 21, 2021

Show notes

Oriel started her pregnancy as being relatively normal and without issues. Her and her husband prepared by taking all of the new parent classes with excitement and curiosity. Her story took an abrupt shift when her blood pressure started increasing, and she found herself being treated with medication and was not aware of the cause.

The issues with high blood pressure found her needing additional advocacy by her mother, an experienced nurse. Her mother refused to allow her daughter’s health issues to be brushed off or delayed treatment. She shared how her treatment shifted as her language matched those of the medical field. She was admitted to the hospital for further monitoring, which led to an emergency surgical birth at 33 weeks, as her baby didn’t pass the assessments.

Oriel had a feeling of Deja Vu as she carried her second child. Things were going well, and she treated herself to a maternity shoot as she surpassed the 33-week mark. However, she was met with more blood pressure challenges and needed to deliver her daughter just short of being full term at 36 weeks.

Preeclampsia is a potentially dangerous pregnancy complication characterized by high blood pressure that can continue into postpartum. Other common symptoms include swelling of the feet and hands as well as protein being present in urine. It can lead to preterm deliveries and health issues for the mother or birthing person if it isn’t detected and treated appropriately. Challenges with preeclampsia marked both pregnancies and influenced some postpartum life changes that have led the way for a healthier life for Oriel. She shared her journey as a NICU parent and how she never paused for her healing, as is common for parents with special needs children. Now Oriel stands by scheduling time for herself and has the support of her partner to honor it. Listen in for a story about the incredible power of advocacy and resilience.

86 | Leaning Inward - Destiny Benson Jan 14, 2021

Show notes

When Destiny found out she was pregnant with her second son, she expressed initially being in a place of denial. While she had always wanted a second child, feelings of hesitation began to arise as the age gap between her first and second was more extensive than she wanted and there was also being nervous about how she would be as a mother of two. But, being able to lean into her ROOTT doulas and husband allowed her to ensure that even within the doubt, she was taking care of herself and understood that she had within herself everything she needed for this birth and transition.

Before becoming a birth worker, Destiny had always been interested in holistic care. At that time, with her first child, she had a birth plan but wasn't able to find a doula she connected with. That pregnancy was fine, but unfortunately, her birth did not go as planned and did include some birth trauma. Having experienced that, she was more diligent in planning and building her birth team, allowing her throughout the whole process to feel supported and empowered to make informed decisions about her care.

At 37 weeks, due to pre-eclampsia symptoms, she needed to be induced. Destiny would need to tap into that part of herself. After some time to re-center and regroup from this unexpected turn, Destiny knew moving through the induction, she wanted to take her time, introducing medical interventions very slowly and always starting at the lowest dosage available. Doing this gave her the space to work through challenging and tiring labor. To make the call to get an epidural because she knew she needed to allow both the mental and physical parts of herself to relax. And when it was time to push, she knew, and delivered her baby in a position that felt most comfortable for her, caught him and her hands were the first to lay him on her chest.

Sponsors:

Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT) | reproductive justice organization

ROOTT is a collective of concerned Black families, community members, advocates & interdisciplinary professionals dedicated to decreasing Black maternal & infant mortality in Ohio. ROOTT’s mission is to comprehensively restore our collective well-being through collaboration, resource allocation, research & re-empowerment, in order to meet the needs of Black parents & families. If you and your family are planning, pregnant, or in your postpartum period, please reach out to ROOTT at www.roottrj.org. Financial assistance is available. You can also connect with ROOTT at 614-398-1766 or email general-info@roottrj.org

85 | There is Always Room for Healing - Anese Barnett Jan 07, 2021

Show notes

When Anese and her husband found out they were pregnant, it was not only a surprise but extremely exciting. They were caught off guard when at ten weeks, her pregnancy would shift into high risk as she was diagnosed with a short cervix, making her susceptible to preterm labor. At 20 weeks, her doctor indicated they would need to make some serious changes to help maintain the chances of that occurring. These changes included strict bed rest and a treatment plan for a cerclage (cervical stitch) placed.

Due to hospital administration issues, in the midst of this, Anese would lose her black OBGYN's care and begin seeing another doctor. An older white woman who not only dismissed Anese's concerns but didn't think she needed to receive the cerclage. But with the support of her doula, a family friend who happened to be an OBGYN, and the careful eye of a black sonographer during an appointment, Anese was able to advocate for herself and at 23 weeks was rushed to L&D, where she received medication to stop contractions and place the cerclage.

Anese would be met with the unexpected again, at 31 weeks when her water broke, resulting in a 2-week hospital stay, and at 33 weeks going into spontaneous labor. While labor wasn't long, pushing her son earthside did take an extended amount of time, and after 2 hours and birth vacuum assistance, she and her husband got to meet their 3lb baby boy. When reflecting on her experience, Anese shared that she was thankful to have had a birth team that gave her the space to try. Many plans for her birth had changed; she hadn't thought about that impact until she was in the moment having it all unfold. But her birth team made sure she was informed, and all options were considered.

This type of support would continue as her family adjusted to life in the NICU. After five weeks, they were able to bring their son home. And as they celebrate year two of his life, healing continues and is just beginning for some family members. The layers of healing have allowed Anese to create support systems for other mothers with her similar experience. It has created a deeper bond for her husband and son and created space for her father to share his experience. Lastly, it sheds light on just how impactful full family-centered and focused care can be.

Resources:

Postpartum Support International | provide current information, resources, education, advocate for further research and legislation to support perinatal mental health

The Breakthrough Mama | mental health and postpartum preparedness counseling

84 | Birthing Without Bias: Irth - Kimberly Seals Allers Dec 17, 2020

Show notes

Kimberly is a mother of two; she attributes her motherhood journey as the spark to her work in the birth and breastfeeding space, and what continues to be her motivation. Being a journalist, while pregnant, she began asking questions. In feeling like the answers weren't adequate, she started looking into how the context of our lives as BIPOC could be clues into the infant and maternal disparities in our community.

In 2006 she wrote the Mocha Manual. This book allowed BIPOC individuals to see themselves in the modern maternity conversation. While also bringing to the forefront the realities and disparities of pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding for BIPOC individuals. Kimberly continued to peel back the layers, writing five books total, The Big Letdown being her most recent, a look into the systems, society, pediatricians, and doctors hindering the infant feeding journeys of families. And through that exploration, affirming to nursing parents that they are doing their best in a structure not created to see them succeed.

In her work, Kimberly has had a front-row seat into the experience of many birthing parents and knows sharing our stories holds weight. Reflecting on her birth, she remembered when a hospital was highly recommended to her as an option for care. Yet she walked away from that hospital traumatized. There hasn't been a space for birthing people to have the opportunity to hold the care system accountable. And so Irth was born. The Irth app is a “Yelp-like” platform where individuals can leave reviews on care providers and hospitals to inform each other of where they are receiving good care and where they aren't.

If you are a birthing parent or even a doula/support person, you can share your experience. As Kimberly expressed, "We may not be able to stop all the harm, but we have to be prepared to help heal."

Irth App | "Yelp-like" review & rating app for hospitals & physicians made by and for Black women & birthing people of color

Mocha Manual | pregnancy guide by Kimberly Seals Allers

The Big Letdown | how medicine, big business, and feminism undermine breastfeeding by Kimberly Seals Allers

83 | Faith with Chance - Tia & Martino Gedeus Dec 15, 2020

Show notes

Tia and Martino shared their pregnancy and birth experience after finding out at 14 weeks gestation that Tia was diagnosed with cancer, SVC Syndrome, and many of the complications that came from her diagnosis. Awareness and hope are the guiding force to them being ready to share their story with our community.

Tia described the moment when faced with an X-ray needed after a cough sent her to the ER. She was informed that it was cancer after a follow up with a pulmonologist. Leading her down a road of testing, treatment, and specialists. All moving at a fast pace to provide immediate treatment. Tia uses her experience as a social worker to help her garner the severity of her medical situation. Tia was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma, and she immediately felt herself come outside of her body. The tears flowed, and she remembered that she was carrying life within her. Her maternal health team leaned towards aborting the pregnancy, but they weren’t in agreement. She moved forward, knowing that she and her baby would be ok and covered within God’s will. She began inpatient chemotherapy treatment for the cancer. She also started developing a blood clot and need further hospitalization. She was the first pregnant patient in their hospital to receive chemotherapy while pregnant and quickly became “the talk” of the hospital. They utilized all of the medications, including those that would cross through the placenta, because she didn’t just want to survive the pregnancy and raise her child.

Tia and Martino’s birth would culminate with an emergency surgical birth at 31 weeks pregnant due to the baby having repeated heart decelerations after mom passed a large blood clot. Their hospital stay was brief due to her weakened immune system, but she quickly returned the next day due to a fever that would later be determined as lung inflammation.

Postpartum was challenging, as one might imagine. Their family stepped in to visit Baby Chance in the NICU as Tia healed and Martino took care of her and their other daughter. Yes, the baby was named Chance because they gave him a chance at life. Tia and Martino’s story goes beyond birth; it is a testament to their faith, strength, determination, favor, and love.

Resources:

Hope for Two | the pregnant with cancer network

Fruits N Rootz | a sustainable provider of high quality fruit

82 | | Birth: The Truth of a Miscarriage - Kia Livingston Dec 10, 2020

Show notes

This is a story about loss - In memory of “little pumpkin”

When Kia and her partner found out they were pregnant last April, they were ecstatic. As they settled into the first trimester, Kia began struggling with some complications that included intense nausea and early spotting. And while her OBGYN assured her that her symptoms were routine and what most birthing people experience. Kia's intuition told her something wasn't right.

When thinking about what could be wrong, the possibility of having a miscarriage didn't come up. It wasn't something that Kia had heard anyone having experienced and associated it with only begin a concern in the early part of pregnancy. So she was surprised at 14 weeks when she went into labor. Sharing her story, Kia walks us through the intimate moments of giving birth and the loss of her son at home.

Healing for Kia has been intense but centered in reminders that she was not at fault and not holding on to guilt. Staying focused on what her baby taught and brought to her life emotionally and mentally. That while she didn't get to hold him and experience him physically, she was his mother, and there was hope for her being a mother again.

Resources:

Supernatural Birth | experiencing the promises of God concerning conception and delivery by Jackie Mize

81 | Learn How to Overcome Your Fears About Childbirth & Birth Like a Boss - Dayna Ruben Dec 03, 2020

Show notes

Dayna Ruben’s grandmother had nine children in the Caribbean islands, all homebirths. During her pregnancy, she thought about her a lot, and her first son was born on her birthday, where she would have been 100 years old. Dayna felt deeply connected to her ancestors and the groundwork that would lead her through her pregnancies. She incorporated hypnobirthing as a deep way to tap into her subconscious and have the births they desired. Both pregnancies were without issues and concerns. Dayna wanted the pregnancy to follow her own lifestyle choices of minimal to no medication, using Whole Foods, and tuning in to her body’s needs.

Labor ensued slowly as she started dilating on a Monday and would have her membranes naturally rupture (water break) on Thursday. She took her time to prepare herself to leave. She followed the hypnosis scripts that she had been listening to in her sleep, which allowed her to stay calm despite when her surges (contractions) were 5 minutes apart as they left their home. Dayna arrived at 10 centimeters dilated, and her support team was ready to receive her. Unfortunately, they weren’t receptive to her requests, which was frustrating for Dayna. She delivered her baby feeling empowered and knowing she could have done it at home. Her first birth would lead her through a journey of self-discovery and influence her second birth.

Having two births grounded in calm and connection to her body, Dayna now supports other birthing persons in achieving a blissful birth experience without fear. To connect with Dayna, head over to her website at From Fertility to Delivery.

Resources:

Pebble | postpartum support program

BlissBorn | comprehensive program to prepare mothers and partners for a more confident birth experience

From Fertility to Delivery (Dayna Ruben) Youtube Channel | dedicated to helping women on their motherhood journey

The New Contented Little Baby Book: The Secret to Calm and Confident Parenting | parenting book by Gina Ford

80 | The Moment of Surrender - Marissa Msefya Dec 01, 2020

Show notes

Hiring a doula is the part of Marissa's journey that set in motion building her dream birth team. Speaking with her doula and getting educated about her birth options, she would switch from her OBGYN to a midwife at eight months of her pregnancy. After discovering alarming rates for surgical births and episiotomies, she knew switching to midwifery care was more aligned with her and her husband's birth plan.

Marissa's estimated due date was July 4th, but her intuition told her her daughter would make her arrival on July 6th, so when labor began on July 6th, it wasn't a surprise. With her husband and doula supporting her, Marissa labored at home until they all felt that the contractions had reached a good point to head to the hospital.

Marissa attributes her birth team for really guiding her in the moments when she thought she couldn't do it. Her doula and husband continuously reminded her of her strength, and her midwife was talking her through her options. Whenever there might be a shift from her birth plan, she always made sure to check back in with Marissa and her husband about what they wanted to do. With that support, eight hours after arriving at the hospital, Marissa and her husband met their daughter.

In postpartum, their community support would be just as vital as their birth team. Navigating the newborn parenting fog, Marissa relied heavily on the check-ins, meal drop-offs, and any other filled request. And as things arose with breastfeeding, her doula, birth coach, and lactation consultant were always there with advice. Marissa is grateful to have a community to lean on and in every step of the way.

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