Bewildered

Awkward Moments Nov 13, 2024

Do you ever lie awake, burning with embarrassment about something awkward you said or did?

In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro are talking about how those awful, awkward moments (like when your child pulled your pants down in front of the babysitter, or when you unintentionally said something offensive during a big presentation) could be the moments that give you access to personal—and maybe even global—revolution.

Find out how by tuning in for this inspiring (and hilarious) conversation!

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Missing Your Exit Oct 30, 2024

Have you ever woken up feeling like you’re off course, as if you somehow missed an exit you were meant to take?

This happened to Martha recently, and on this episode of Bewildered, she and Ro are talking about how to choose the right navigation system to guide your course through life, how to recognize when you've missed an exit, and how to get back on track.

To learn how you can be sure you’re navigating by your true nature and not by cultural rules you never chose, tune in for the full conversation!

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When to Go with the Flow Oct 16, 2024

Martha and Ro are digging into their BeWild Files for this episode of Bewildered, answering listener Mandy’s question about the distinction between drifting in a cultural current versus surrendering to cosmic guidance.

They talk about the difference between the behaviors we adopt due to cultural pressure and the behaviors that truly represent our deepest selves, what it means to live your life by surrendering, and how to recognize the kind of cosmic guidance you'll likely want to follow. Don't miss it!

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Wilder Together Oct 02, 2024

Martha and Ro are back with a different kind of episode this time, to introduce something they are crazy excited about...

It's called Wilder: A Sanctuary for the Bewildered—and it's a new online space where they can hang out with YOU!

If you've been yearning to connect with like-minded souls, and you know there's a next step out there but you're not sure what it is, Martha and Ro believe that next step is community—and they hope you'll join them in Wilder. For details, tune in for the full episode!

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Don't Control Yourself Sep 18, 2024

We all have a "control mode" inside us that tells us if we don't tightly control everything, it's all going to go wrong. The only problem is...it's literally impossible to control everything!

Sometimes a little control is necessary, but often it's the opposite of what we need. And control kills the creativity we need to solve our problems.

So if you've been trying really hard to control things, and you could use some tips on how to let go of control, join Martha and Ro for this episode of Bewildered!

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Treasure Hunter Mode: Engaged Sep 04, 2024

Hey there, Cahootniks! Martha and Ro are back with another episode of Bewildered, inspired by their recent discovery of a "secret" society that's been playing a game right out in the open, all over the world… The game is a literal treasure hunt—and Martha and Ro are obsessed!

They share how they've been following clues, making delightful discoveries, and wondering what it would mean to live life like one big treasure hunt. Want to find treasure in unexpected places? Join them for the full episode!

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Not Everything Has to Have a Point Aug 21, 2024

Do you enjoy making shiny, pretty things—or, as Martha and Ro like to call them, “precious, pointless” things?

These can be anything you make for the sheer enjoyment of creating, rather than for making money (which our culture believes is the only "point" to anything).

Join Martha and Ro for this inspiring episode of Bewildered to learn how making shiny, pretty, pointless things can help you become more attuned to the beauty all around you—in people, in objects, in nature…and in your own wild soul.

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Shining Your Light and Charging What You're Worth Aug 07, 2024

Do you find it difficult to share your unique offerings with the world? How about charging money for your work?

In this BeWild Files episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro answer a question from listener Rebecca who is trying to find the courage to shine her light in the world—and get paid well for it.

Martha and Ro share their own experiences with this issue, and they offer three magical little words that can banish shame and set you free to shine your light and charge what you're worth. Join them!

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Change the Shape of Culture Jul 24, 2024

On their Bewildered podcast, Martha and Ro explore the many ways that the culture pulls us away from our true nature. However—as they want to make absolutely clear in this episode—the culture is not the boss of us!

As Martha and Ro point out, we have a hand in creating the culture, and it can be thrilling to look at the power we have when we put ourselves into the cultural equation.

To learn how to step fully into your role as a creator of the culture (and why it matters), tune in for the full episode!

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Beware Fake Urgency Jul 10, 2024

"Quick! Do this now! It's urgent!"

Our culture constantly pressures us to do things that serve the system, and we’re trained to think of these things as urgent. But are they really?

In this BeWild Files episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro dive into the topic of urgency—how there’s a type that will crush your soul and a type that will grow your soul, and how you can tell the difference.

If you often find yourself responding frantically to problems which may or may not be urgent, this episode is for you!

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The Empty Project Jun 26, 2024

Do you ever feel like you’re trying to fit even more stuff into a life that’s already full?

In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro are talking about our culture's obsession with more, more, more, and how it's making us overwhelmed, exhausted, and burnt out.

Their solution? Empty space!

Our culture doesn't train us to appreciate empty spaces, but emptiness is what gives things value. To hear how to shift your focus so you can start noticing and using the empty spaces in your life, be sure to tune in!

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All the Way to Heaven is Heaven Jun 12, 2024

Most of us are socialized to believe that if we suffer enough, we’ll be rewarded later—and the reward for our suffering will be happiness. In other words, happiness is something we must earn through suffering.

In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro challenge this cultural belief, inspired by the words of 14th century mystic St. Catherine of Siena who said, “All the way to heaven is heaven.”

To hear more about this idea—and how you can experience happiness right now—don't miss the full episode!

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"Dream Food" And Other Lies About Fulfillment May 29, 2024

Culture teaches us that scrambling up peaks of achievement is a worthy goal—and that when we reach the pinnacle of success, we'll finally be happy.

The problem is, not everyone can reach the very top. And even for those who do, achieving that goal doesn't make them happy.

Wondering how this could be? Martha and Ro offer a theory: We're climbing the wrong mountain!

Join them for this fun episode as they break down the cultural myths surrounding success and fulfillment and point you toward true happiness.

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Living Lightly (and The Opposite of Golf) May 15, 2024

Watch out, everyone...Martha and Ro have F-bombs and they’re not afraid to use them!

Join them for this episode of Bewildered, where they're plumbing the depths of what it is to live a good life—and more than a little profanity might be involved, along with plenty of metaphorical golf. (But definitely no literal golf.)

To hear Martha and Ro's insights on seriousness vs. levity in life, surrendering to the idea of magic, and doing the opposite of playing golf (reminder: it's a metaphor), be sure to tune in!

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Feeling Like an Alien May 01, 2024

Have you ever felt like a stranger in a strange land?

In this BeWild Files episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro dive into a question from listener Alia about feeling like an alien when you're among the people you’re “supposed to” feel at home with.

Tune in to learn how the spirit of community is different from the simple grouping together of people, and how sometimes differences can be a good thing because they enhance the wisdom of the crowd. It's a thought-provoking conversation you won't want to miss!

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The Other Butterflies Apr 17, 2024

Martha and Ro have a very special guest on this episode of Bewildered…Ro's mum Paula!

Paula has a mind-expanding story to tell about the time she followed monarch butterflies on their migratory path and learned that 10% of these butterflies always follow a different path—and for an unexpected reason.

Tune in to find out the purpose of these aberrant butterflies' journey, why Martha and Ro relate to them so strongly, and why all paths through life, whether "normal" or divergent, are valid and valuable.

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Really, Really, Really Far Outside Apr 03, 2024

Martha and Ro are doing something a little different and a lot of fun on this episode of Bewildered: sharing about times when they’ve gone WAY outside of the culture.

Because when we all tell each other stories about going outside culture, we give each other permission to do it more!

Tune in to hear about invisible whales, public nose-picking, polygamy, and more—plus find out the new name they’ve come up with for their beloved Bewildered community. If you love stories, this is the episode for you!

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On Burnout and Reset Mar 20, 2024

Ever suffer from burnout? Martha and Ro have, and they're talking all about it on this episode of BEWILDERED!

Burnout is something our culture doesn't allow because it expects us to be productive non-stop. However, our wild natures require “wintering” periods where we rest and reset.

If you need to recover from burnout (or you want to preempt it), tune in to the full episode to hear Martha and Ro’s insights and suggestions for getting ahead of burnout and resetting your body, mind, heart, and spirit.

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Undercover Counterculture Bandit Mar 06, 2024

Get excited because Martha and Ro have a very special guest on this episode of BEWILDERED: their beloved partner Karen Gerdes!

While Karen may seem mild mannered and conventional at first glance, that’s just her cover. Karen stopped listening to the voice of culture a long time ago, and she's a dedicated follower of her wild nature.

To get to know this paragon of unconditional love, plus learn more about her baffling yet lovable quirks (aka Karen-isms), don’t miss this fun conversation. It's a love fest!

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Big Feelings Feb 21, 2024

Have you been struggling with big feelings?

Frustration. Overwhelm. Anger. Grief. These are all vitally important human emotions, yet the culture demands we suppress them at all costs.

In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro talk about why that is, and how our painful emotions help us survive—and thrive!

If you want to learn more about "feeling all the feels" and the powerful healing and transformation waiting on the other side of your heaviest emotions, this is an episode you won’t want to miss!

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Change Cycle: Beauty That Moves Feb 07, 2024

The culture tells us that whenever we achieve a goal, we're supposed to stay there:

“Now you're a butterfly. The End.”

Yet Nature, which we're all part of, is always changing.

In this final episode of their series on change, Martha and Ro are coming “full square” to talk about Square Four in The Change Cycle, which is about relaxing into the fact that there is no absolute destination.

Listen to find out how to enjoy Square Four without gripping it too tightly—and welcome the next change into your life.

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Change Cycle: Wild Horses Jan 24, 2024

Have you ever felt driven to do specific excruciating tasks, and you couldn’t explain why?

This "wild horses feeling" is present whenever you're working toward your heart's desire, and it's a key part of what Martha calls Square Three in her Change Cycle methodology.

To learn the difference between culture and nature when it comes to hard work, and how you can find strength in the struggle, be sure to tune in to this third installment of Martha and Ro's four-part Bewildered series on The Change Cycle.

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Change Cycle: A Space for Dreaming Jan 10, 2024

Change isn't always easy, but did you know that parts of the process can be a lot of fun?

In this second re-release episode from their four-part series about The Change Cycle, Martha and Ro are exploring Square Two—the "dreaming and scheming" phase when the feeling of who you're becoming begins to filter into your consciousness.

To learn how to play in the "space for dreaming," follow your curiosity, and find out who you're truly meant to be, be sure to listen to this fun and insightful conversation!

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Change Cycle: Bug Soup Dec 13, 2023

Do you know what happens to a caterpillar inside its cocoon?

It disintegrates into a gooey mass before its cells reform into a butterfly. This "bug soup" phase isn't pretty, but it's an essential part of change—what Martha refers to as Square One in her Change Cycle methodology.

In this special re-release episode of BEWILDERED, Martha and Ro talk all about Square One and what happens when your previous identity must dissolve.

If you've been struggling with change and letting go, this episode is for you!

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Bittersweet Misunderstandings Nov 29, 2023

The culture says it's a given that the people who love you will understand you. But very often, the people who love you don't understand you at all—yet they can have the strongest ideas about who you should be.

Martha and Ro are opening up the BeWild Files to talk about how to stay committed to your purpose when your loved ones don't understand it.

Listen to the full episode to learn how to let go of the longing for consensus, disentangle love from understanding, and find the people who truly get you.

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Beauty That Moves Nov 15, 2023

Martha and Ro are coming “full square” on this episode of BEWILDERED® to talk about Square Four in Martha’s Change Cycle.

The culture tells us that whenever we achieve a goal, we're supposed to stay there: “Now you're a butterfly. The End.”

Yet Nature, which we're all part of, is constantly changing. Eventually, you'll be sent back to Square One and the cycle will start anew.

To find out how to enjoy Square Four without gripping it too tightly—and welcome the next change into your life—be sure to tune in!
LINKS SECTION

Bewildered episode 59: Bug Soup (Square One in Martha’s Change Cycle)
Bewildered episode 31: A Space for Dreaming (Square Two in Martha’s Change Cycle)
Bewildered episode 60: Wild Horses (Square Three in Martha’s Change Cycle)
Ro’s cupholder diatribe (at 03:34 of Bewildered episode 17: Unshamable)
Maria Bamford
“Splinter” by Ani DiFranco
Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed
“Little Boxes” by Malvina Reynolds
100 Foot Wave documentary series
“Evolve” by Ani DiFranco
Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
CONNECT WITH US
Follow Martha on Instagram
The Bewildered Show Notes
Follow Ro on Instagram
Follow Bewildered on Instagram

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Zen and the Art of Travel With Toddlers Nov 01, 2023

The hinges have come off, folks—Martha and Rowan have jet lag (and they're not afraid to use it!) in this episode of Bewildered: Zen and the Art of Traveling with Toddlers.

On two recent international trips, Martha and Ro's toddler got sick, and things were challenging to say the least... Now Ro wants to figure out if all the suffering was worth it, or if they sacrificed their child's wellbeing for the sake of culture.

The answer they arrived at may surprise you, so don't miss the full conversation!

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Best of Bewildered: Vulnerability Hangovers Oct 18, 2023

Have you ever bravely shared your authentic self, only to agonize over it later thinking you shared too much?

This is something Brené Brown calls a "vulnerability hangover”—and we've all been there.

In this episode from THE BEST OF BEWILDERED, Martha and Ro share their own experiences with vulnerability hangovers and reveal the "culture work" that’s brought them massive liberation.

Feeling hungover from vulnerability? Then be sure to tune in for the full episode—it's one of Martha and Ro's favorites!

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Best of Bewildered: Making the Right Choice Oct 04, 2023

It's THE BEST OF BEWILDERED, and this week we’re revisiting another favorite episode from the vault: Making the Right Choice.

The culture believes there’s always a single right choice and that choosing wrong means you've wasted your entire life. So is it any wonder a lot of us freeze in panic when faced with making a decision?

Martha and Ro talk about how we can move past this "decision paralysis" and they offer a wild new way to view decision-making. It's an insightful conversation worth hearing again!

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Best of Bewildered: Elizabeth Gilbert gets Bewildered! Sep 20, 2023

In case you missed out the first time around, Martha and Ro are sharing some of their all-time favorite episodes in a series called The Best of Bewildered.

First up, Elizabeth Gilbert Gets Bewildered! In this encore episode, Liz joined Martha and Ro to discuss why the culture is so hostile toward women who are childless by choice.

Don't miss their engrossing conversation about resisting the patriarchy, the saving grace of oversensitivity, and how to trust the wisdom of the body to guide us to our truth.

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Wild Horses Sep 06, 2023

Have you ever felt driven to do specific excruciating tasks, and you couldn’t explain why?

While the culture mindlessly tells us we should always work hard, there's also a place in our true nature for dogged, determined work. In this Bewildered, Martha and Ro talk about the “wild horses feeling” that's present whenever you’re working toward your heart’s desire.

To learn the difference between culture and nature when it comes to hard work, and how you can find strength in the struggle, be sure to tune in!

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Bug Soup Aug 23, 2023

Do you know what happens to a caterpillar inside its cocoon?

It disintegrates into a gooey mass before its cells reform into a butterfly. Martha calls this state "bug soup." It's not pretty, but it's an essential part of change—including our own!

In this episode of BEWILDERED®, Martha and Ro talk about how to allow yourself to dissolve, even though the culture teaches us to resist it like crazy.

If you've been struggling with change and the process of letting go, this is an episode you won't want to miss.

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Dream Dashers and Way Stations Aug 09, 2023

You know those big, magical dreams you can't seem to let go of, the ones that could change the whole course of your life?

Martha and Ro call these wild yearnings “way station dreams,” and you better believe the culture will try to crush them with everything it’s got.

Tune in for this episode of BEWILDERED, Episode 58: Dream Dashers and Way Stations, to learn how you can discover what your own way station dreams are, overcome the culture’s inevitable objections, and make your wildest dreams come true!

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The Deep, Slow River of Creativity Jul 26, 2023

On this episode of BEWILDERED® Martha and Ro answer a question from listener Laurel, who's struggling to focus on a big creative project in a world full of distractions.

The culture tells us that we can be successful at our long-term projects if we just work harder. But since we’re human beings and not robots, Martha and Ro recommend a different approach.

For their insights on how to commit to the flow of creativity, value surrender, and stake your claim to a creative life, tune in for the full episode!

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When to Leave Jul 12, 2023

"Should I stay, or should I go?"

In this BeWild Files episode of BEWILDERED®, Martha and Ro dive into this question—and they say that the first step is to question our thoughts.

Why?

Because problems often come from our thoughts about our circumstances rather than the circumstances themselves. And our thoughts can be shifted once we get to a place of peace.

To learn how to ground yourself, shift your thoughts, and use peace as a compass to make the best decisions for you, tune in for the full conversation!

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The Pull Jun 28, 2023

Have you ever had the sense of being pulled towards something...but you had no idea why?

Martha and Ro call this mysterious feeling “the pull,” and they’re talking all about it in Episode 55 of BEWILDERED®. They share examples of following the pull in their own lives and how it led to some truly beautiful outcomes.

Listen to the full episode to find out what the pull is, why our culture doesn't recognize or value it, and how you can learn to trust that it's leading you toward your soul's fulfillment.

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The Anxiety Files, Vol. 2: A Tiny Crunch of Fear Jun 14, 2023

Anxiety in the culture—what exactly is going on there?

That's what Martha and Ro are trying to figure out in this special Anxiety Files episode of Bewildered.

As a society we create structures to control things and keep us safe so we don't have to feel afraid. The irony is it doesn't work—because being controlled is also scary!

Join Martha and Ro for the full episode to learn how to use your right brain to stop the spin of anxiety, break free from the culture's control, and return to your true nature.

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The Anxiety Files, Vol. 1: Courage and Avoidance May 31, 2023

Anxiety is like breathing for Martha and Rowan…maybe it is for you too?

If so, you are sooo not alone! All over the world, anxiety is skyrocketing, and Martha and Ro are exploring this subject in depth over a series of special Bewildered episodes they’re calling The Anxiety Files.

While the culture's "solution" to anxiety is to avoid discomfort, avoidance only shrinks our world, not our anxiety. But by using courage we can expand our comfort zones—and our lives. To learn how, don't miss the full episode!

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Not Getting Enough Done May 17, 2023

Most of us are plagued with the fear that we're not doing enough—it's practically the fuel our culture runs on. We're pressured to constantly do more and more, and we're taught that suffering is necessary for success.

But where is the finish line? And does "enough" exist?

Tune in for this episode of Bewildered to learn why doing enough is NOT the way out of the fear of not doing enough—and the wisdom from nature that Martha and Ro rely on instead. There's even some impromptu coaching, so don't miss it!

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In Pursuit of Balance May 03, 2023

In this BeWild Files episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro answer a question from listener Kathryn about how to live a balanced life each day instead of bouncing between extremes.

While our culture demands high-level productivity all year round, the rhythm of nature flows between extremes—and we're meant to follow a similar rhythm.

If you're ready to let go of the cultural model of regularity in your own life—and find the magic in occasionally going to extremes—be sure to listen to the full conversation!

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Living Without a Script (Special episode!) Apr 25, 2023

Martha and Ro are doing something completely different for this episode of Bewildered, teaming up with their friends Eric Zimmer and Ginny Gay from The One You Feed podcast.

Tune in as they talk about what drags you into the path of least resistance versus what pulls you toward becoming your best self, how to reject negative cultural influences to find your true nature, and how to navigate a constantly changing world when there are no scripts to follow.

It's a special episode that's not to be missed!

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Nice Work If You Can Get It Apr 19, 2023

When it comes to the topic of jobs, the culture has a lot to say—and all of it is scary. There's a strict path we're expected to follow, which we've been led to believe is the only logical way.

In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro talk about different ways to earn a living, and how what we often think of as "logic" is just cultural messaging in disguise.

If the traditional job path doesn't feel right for you, and you're struggling to find your own way, don't miss this inspiring conversation!

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How to Get Started Apr 05, 2023

In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro answer a question from listener Josephine, who's trying to understand and overcome her resistance to doing things that are good for her.

The culture tells us that if something is good for us, we should just do it! Otherwise, we need to punish ourselves.

There's only one problem with that: Punishments don't work.

To learn how Martha and Ro use kindness and creativity to get past inertia and move through transitions, be sure to listen to the full conversation!

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Drift Patterns Mar 22, 2023

In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro talk about drift patterns, the cultural currents we can get stuck in that could be carrying us far away from our true nature.

One function of cultural patterns is to "save" us from having to make choices. If you do what the culture says, you might feel safe for a while—but at what cost to your soul?

To find out if you're drifting in a current that's wrong for you—and what you can do about it—be sure to catch this very practical (and entertaining) conversation!

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The Upside of Necessary Evils Mar 08, 2023

It’s another BeWild Files episode of Bewildered, and Martha and Ro are answering a question from listener Gazit, who's trying to co-parent with a difficult ex, and the experience does not feel joyful or authentic.

Martha says when trying to navigate any painful situation, the first step is to stop pretending it's going to be easy.

By staying in your integrity, you can observe a difficult situation and work through your feelings to get to a place of peace. Listen to the full conversation to learn how!

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Getting Through the Tough Stuff Feb 22, 2023

There will always be hard things we have to do in life. That's just a given. So how do we go about doing them without suffering?

Martha and Rowan say the key is freedom, and in this episode of Bewildered they explore ways you can do difficult things while still feeling like you have a choice.

While the culture encourages us to push beyond our limits into genuine suffering, Martha and Ro look to Nature for ways we can do what needs to be done—with kindness instead of force. Don't miss this one!

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Wild Energy Feb 08, 2023

In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Rowan are talking all about emotional energy—the moods, feelings, or intentions that come across without any words or physical action.

This kind of energy can be a powerful teacher and director of the decisions we make, but our culture doesn't teach us how to understand what we're sensing. (In fact, it rejects the whole idea.)

To find out more about emotional energy and how to interpret it impeccably, be sure to join Martha and Ro for the full conversation!

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Vulnerability Hangovers Jan 25, 2023

Have you ever bravely shared your authentic self, only to agonize over it later thinking you shared too much?

We've all been there. It's what Brené Brown calls a ‘vulnerability hangover,” and Martha and Ro are taking a deep dive into the subject in this episode of Bewildered.

With insightfulness and humor, Martha and Ro share their experiences with vulnerability hangovers and reveal the "culture work" that’s brought them massive liberation.

Feeling hungover from vulnerability? Don't miss the full episode!

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The Problem With Productivity Jan 11, 2023

Our culture teaches us that we should jam as many things as possible into our days, and many of us learn to equate success with how many things we've checked off our to-do lists or how much stuff we've acquired.

In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro discuss our culture’s fixation on counting and hoarding—and how this cuts us off from experiencing true abundance and joy.

To hear Martha and Ro's reframe of how to measure your life through the experiences you value, don't miss the full conversation!

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The Secret to Perseverance Dec 13, 2022

Do you enjoy setting goals but have a harder time reaching them?

In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro talk about how to travel from where we are in life to where we want to be—and how our cultural conditioning often trips us up.

Instead of the relentless pace of work we're taught is necessary to achieve our goals, Martha and Ro offer a sustainable approach rooted in joy.

For their insights on setting goals and moving toward them in a way that nourishes your soul, don't miss the full conversation!

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The Procrastination Episode Nov 30, 2022

Procrastination. We’ve all been there.

In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro explore why we procrastinate (hint: cultural conditioning strikes again) and how we can find our way out of it by listening to—and negotiating with—the wild parts of ourselves that are in revolt.

It’s a conversation full of insights and highly effective tools—including a real-time coaching session with Martha and Ro and a guided exercise to help you negotiate your way out of procrastination—so you won’t want to miss it!

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Always Growing Up Nov 16, 2022

Many of us buy into the cultural idea that there is only one way to parent, and if we do it correctly, things will turn out okay, and everyone will approve of us. But when grown children leave home, parents don’t get to keep the identity they held for so long, and that can feel scary. On this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro discuss the challenges of launching grown-up children and finding a new identity. If you’re a parent—or someone who has had parents—this thought-provoking episode is for you!

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Smashing Language Nov 02, 2022

Can we be free from the culture if we still use language? That’s the question Martha and Ro discuss in this episode of Bewildered. While we are all encased in the language we learned as children, when we learn a new language, we become aware that language is arbitrary and always evolving—and no one language can give a complete picture. Listen to the full conversation for Martha and Ro’s entertaining breakdown of language, including ways we can step outside culture to use language as a creative tool.

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Blowing Up Your Life Oct 19, 2022

Blowing up your life—why such violent imagery?

Martha and Rowan say it’s because the culture is so powerful you need an explosion to break out of it!

On this BeWild Files episode of Bewildered, they talk about making the decision to upend your life and the criticism we face when our choices don’t match the culture’s expectations.

It’s a conversation about how language shapes culture, how to find value in all experience, and the price we pay for living on the frontiers (where the magic is). Don’t miss it!

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Making the Right Choice Oct 05, 2022

The culture believes there’s always a single right choice, and if you don’t make that right choice, you could end up wasting your whole life. So is it any wonder a lot of us freeze in panic when faced with making a decision?

On this BeWild Files episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro talk about how we can move past “decision paralysis” to find guidance in the liminal spaces, and how doing nothing is, in fact, something. For a wild new way to view decision-making, don’t miss this insightful conversation!

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Helping Too Hard Sep 21, 2022

Martha and Ro are back with another BeWild Files episode of Bewildered to discuss things that YOU, their listeners, are trying to figure out.

This episode is all about codependency—sacrificing your own needs for those of someone else—behavior that can lead to exhaustion, resentment, even illness. And yet, our culture calls it “virtuous.”

The good news? We can unhook from codependency to create relationships in alignment with our true nature. If you’ve ever felt like an over-giver, this episode is for you!

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Cave Early Sep 07, 2022

Our culture stresses that we should never, ever give up on anything, no matter what the cost to our happiness or health. Yet our bodies have a way of telling us when something isn’t right—first in a whisper but eventually, a scream.

On this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro advocate for what they call “caving early”—giving up the moment you sense something isn’t right for you. (That’s right, you can quit!)

If you’ve ever struggled with giving up, you won’t want to miss this liberating conversation.

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Elizabeth Gilbert gets Bewildered! Aug 24, 2022

Martha and Rowan have a very special guest on this episode of Bewildered—the incredible Elizabeth Gilbert!

The bestselling author of EAT PRAY LOVE joins Martha and Ro to discuss the question: Why is our culture so hostile toward women who are single and childless by choice?

What follows is an engrossing conversation about the lies that benefit the patriarchy, the saving grace of oversensitivity, and how to trust the wisdom of the body to guide us to our truth. It’s an episode you will not want to miss!

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Longing and Belonging Aug 10, 2022

It’s that time again on Bewildered…Martha and Ro are bringing you another installment of The BeWild Files, where they talk about things that YOU, their listeners, are trying to figure out.

In this episode they dive into questions from listeners Judy, Bryony, and Annette about masculinity and the pursuit of peace, how to explore identity beyond the binary, and the difference between wanting a house and longing for home. It’s a conversation full of deep thoughts (and belly laughs), so be sure to listen!

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A Space for Dreaming Jul 27, 2022

Culture teaches us to strive for stability—and that once we have it, we’re never meant to change. But in nature, everything is always changing, including us.

In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Rowan explore the fascinating process of letting go of an old self to become a new one and the undefined “space for dreaming” that exists in between.

Don’t miss this insightful and entertaining conversation about following your curiosity down the rabbit hole so you can become who you’re truly meant to be.

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[Best of Bewildered] As Good As It Gets? Jul 13, 2022

Martha and Rowan are taking a brief break, but the podcast is still here for you! This week we have another "Best of Bewildered" episode for you to enjoy.
Why is it that sometimes when life looks most amazing, it often feels so…meh?
Martha and Ro dig into the difference between a life that’s prescribed by culture and one that we invent from our inner wild selves. Instead of embarking on “adventures” based on cultural consensus, we can come to our senses to end up with the best possible experiences.

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[Best of Bewildered] Perfection Paralysis Jun 29, 2022

Martha and Rowan are taking a brief break, but the podcast is still here for you! You can enjoy a couple of our "Best of Bewildered" episodes…starting with this one!
We all have some kind of beauty or wisdom inside of us, but “perfection paralysis” often stops us from sharing it.
In this episode, Martha and Ro offer insights into how you can get past perfection paralysis, what the opposite of perfection is, and why sharing your work with the world is not only a selfless act but a moral imperative!

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Scary Scary Freedom Jun 15, 2022

Freedom. Many of us value it above everything else—so why does it sometimes feel so terrifying?
In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Rowan talk about how the culture teaches us to fear freedom—that to be safe we must do what is expected of us. But this kind of “safety” is murder to the soul.
With uncanny insight (and plenty of humor), they explore how we can opt out of culture, embrace our freedom, and live in integrity with our true purpose. It's an existential deep-dive you won't want to miss!

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Raising Wildlings Jun 01, 2022

When it comes to parenting, culture comes on strong. There are so many contradictory opinions out there, and the judgmental attacks on parents come fast and furious about every little thing.
Under this kind of pressure, how can parents raise happy kids who follow their own true nature?
That’s the question Martha and Ro explore in this episode of Bewildered, and their insightful conversation brings instant pressure relief. For anyone who is a parent (or has had a parent!), you won't want to miss this one!

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Brainwashed into Happy May 18, 2022

Have you ever found yourself answering “I’m fine” when the exact opposite was true?
Toxic positivity, or what Martha and Ro call “happy-washing,” is the cultural pressure to force ourselves into a state of performative happiness.
In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro explore what really happens when we stop happy-washing, let go of culture, and come back to our true nature to express the bad and the ugly as well as the good.
So listen in and get in touch with your inner complainer. It’s liberating!

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Are You a Messy? May 04, 2022

A gracious German author once asked Martha if she was “a messy” after seeing the disorderly state of her hotel room. (She’d been frantically searching through her luggage moments before.)
But is being "a messy" a permanent label that defines us?
On this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Rowan delve into the dichotomy of mess vs. order and the beauty to be found in chaos.
Tune in for insights on how to step away from culture and tap into nature to find a more fluid relationship with both mess and order.

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The Vanishing Horizon of "Enough" Apr 20, 2022

Is enough ever truly enough?
In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Rowan examine our culture's pursuit of "enough"—a pursuit that never satisfies because it never ends.
Drawing on Asian philosophy, their own helpful (and often hilarious) stories, and the occasional anecdote from the animal kingdom, Martha and Ro argue that "enough" may not even exist—and reveal what we're all starving for instead.
Tune in for their refreshing reframe of "enough" and how we can bring this concept back into our lives.

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Outfoxing Anxiety Apr 06, 2022

Did you know anxiety disorders have risen 400% since the pandemic?
(And that's just the diagnosed cases.)
The cultural idea is that we're victims of our chemistry. But when it comes to anxiety, we have a lot more choices than we might think.
In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro talk about anxiety and its tendency to hack around any cultural solutions we throw at it. They also share the answers to be found in nature and the right side of the brain.
It's a fascinating episode you won't want to miss!

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The Time-Bound Mind Mar 23, 2022

Is the culture trying to pull the wool over our eyes about time?
(Spoiler alert: YES.)
In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Rowan explore the concept of time and our complex relationship with it.
From the “rubber time” of non-Western cultures, to the experience of “premembering” events that haven’t happened yet, to Einstein's theory that time is just an illusion, Martha and Ro cover it all.
It's a time-bending episode you won't want to miss—it may even blow your mind!

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Letting Yourself Off the Hook Mar 09, 2022

Every culture has what Martha and Ro refer to as “hooks”—powerful influences that compel us to behave a certain way and that even shape our identity. How much we buy into the culture determines the extent to which we become stuck on these hooks.
In this episode, Martha and Ro dive deep to explore the cultural hooks that often pull us away from our true purpose. They also offer insights on how we can free ourselves to seek a more authentic way of being.
It's an enlightening conversation you won't want to miss!

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Toothpicks, Dinosaurs, and Snakebites Mar 02, 2022

They’re back! Martha and Ro are bringing you another installment of The BeWild Files where they talk about the things that YOU, their listeners, are trying to figure out.
In this episode, Martha and Ro answer questions about how to make money with integrity when you're in a hurry, how to become more creative and less critical when leading teams, and how nature helps us take intentional rest when we truly need it. It's a liberating episode about abandoning culture for creativity, and you won't want to miss it!

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Perfection Paralysis Feb 09, 2022

Do you strive for perfection? Or does the need to be perfect prevent you from striving?
We all have some kind of beauty or wisdom inside of us, but “perfection paralysis” often stops us from sharing it. In this episode of Bewildered, Marty and Ro offer different perspectives on perfectionism and talk about its antagonistic relationship with creativity.
Tune in for insights on how to get past perfection paralysis, what the opposite of perfection is, and why sharing your work with the world is a selfless act!

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Creative Contrarians Dec 15, 2021

Back by popular demand! In this episode, Marty and Ro deliver another installment of The BeWild Files where they talk about the things that you, their listeners, are trying to figure out.
Marty and Ro discuss the importance of contrarians and counterculture to the culture as a whole (and also to our own inner culture), the concept of sin as a tool of control, and how joy is key to accessing our creativity—and solving big problems. It's another episode full of insights (and absurdity) you won't want to miss!

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Unshamable Dec 01, 2021

Shame. It’s a powerful tool for socialization and the strategy culture uses to keep us in its little box. In this episode of Bewildered, Marty and Ro dissect the ways we can be shamed and how we can move away from that into what feels true for ourselves.
We all have those areas in life where we’re vulnerable to shame, but we also have areas where we can never be shamed. Tune in to this illuminating episode for insights to help you stand up to the culture, return to your own wild truth, and become unshamable.

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Rings, Ducks and Earbuds Nov 17, 2021

You spoke, and Marty and Ro listened: they’re pioneering a new type of episode featuring things that YOU, their listeners, are trying to figure out. Introducing…The BeWild Files.
In this episode (which contains more factoids than you probably care to know about the private anatomy of various animals) they discuss different modes of viewing our life choices and the importance of rituals around change. They even come up with a few ceremony ideas. Don't miss this off-the-cuff, unfiltered conversation—it's WILD!

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Ten Thousand Spoons Nov 03, 2021

Some of us have plenty of energy to meet every cultural demand, but most of us have less. Enter Spoon Theory, Christine Miserandino’s brilliant analogy in which every action we take costs us a unit of energy represented by a spoon. Our culture is invested in what Ro and Martha call “Spoon Privilege,” whereby people who naturally have a lot of energy (or “spoons”) tend to set the standard that comes to be considered normal.

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Sleep For Your Life Oct 20, 2021

Sleep: it’s not just for wimps and sissies.
Until Martha and Ro dug into the topic of this podcast—the innocent little universal need for SLEEP—they didn't realize how much of a cultural minefield sleep is. There is SO MUCH sleep-shaming going on.
They discuss the science of sleep, and all the ways that the culture is WHACK on this topic. Sleep makes us learn, makes us smarter, makes us heal, makes us competent humans. And yet, the story that “sleep is for the weak” endures. We have to come to our senses!

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As Good As It Gets? Sep 22, 2021

Why is it that sometimes when life looks most amazing, it often feels so…meh? Martha and Ro dig into the difference between a life that’s prescribed by culture, and one that we invent from our inner wild selves. Ro offers us the concept of a Wild INventure—an adventure we dream up from within, something thrilling and bold that is also uniquely our own. Instead of embarking on “adventures” that are really nothing but cultural consensus, we come to our senses and end up with the best possible experiences.

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Ghosting the Argument (Empty Boats) Aug 25, 2021

In this episode Martha and Ro talk about the “ultimate spiritual lifehack” for dealing with other human beings. Conflict is everywhere, and you can’t win enough arguments to ever escape the culture of argument itself. So Martha and Ro suggest a process of “ghosting” this part of the culture. The solution? It’s all about empty boats! Listen for insight, giggles, and a guest appearance by Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s stake!

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When They Don't Get You Aug 04, 2021

In this episode, Ro and Martha talk about a disheartening phenomenon that can happen when you bring your truest truth into the world. Instead of positive or negative feedback, some people just won’t get you. This non-response is weirdly hard, but we can still come to our senses.
Also covered in this fun-filled ep: Martha’s love-hate relationship with Siri, and for the first time Ro and Martha answer questions from bewildered listeners!

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More Than Five Senses Jul 05, 2021

Martha and Ro reveal that they’ve both had “coming out” moments as mystics: people who seek to commune with, unite with, and understand “the mystery.” Both have had many inexplicable experiences, and they sustain a willing suspension of disbelief about all things magical. Ro urges listeners to remember that we don't have to reject science or reject magic, but we DO have to reject the idea that those things are mutually exclusive.

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Brave Enough to be Weird Apr 26, 2021

When a listener reports that this podcast allows her to “be more eccentrically myself," Martha and Ro dive into the topic of individual nonconformity. Going out into the world as your full and genuine self, how can you be brave enough to be weird? When you break the rules of the culture, you may experience tribal shaming or social betrayal. Martha suggests behavior tweaks and mindset shifts that can fortify your bravery when you want to be your weirdest self but fear the repercussions.

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Getting Back on the Horse Apr 21, 2021

Returning to activities that we’ve temporarily abandoned—due to, say, a global pandemic—brings a whole slew of challenges. Do we do things how we used to, even though we’ve changed fundamentally as people? If not, how can we approach our old work, habits, or hobbies in new ways? In this conversation, Martha and Ro unpack “the tyranny of how it's done” and offer advice on checking in with your senses before getting back on the horse and riding off in the wrong direction.

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On Top of Things? Apr 06, 2020

Has anyone ever told you that a particular life-changing app or journaling technique will help you get a handle on everything in your life? If so, Martha and Ro would like to inform you that they were LYING! Life is overwhelming, and no calendar or tool will change that. We can no more “stay on top of everything” than we can control the universe. Tune in as our hosts use examples from Confucianism, body surfing, and landscape architecture to show us the value of letting go, heeding nature, and being fluid.

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Comparing Lives Mar 10, 2020

Adulting is hard. So why is everyone on social media doing it SO MUCH BETTER than we are? In this funny and heartfelt episode, Martha and Ro unpack the comparison trap and remind us to define ourselves by ourselves. Martha points out that comparison sets us up to feel shame and misery and that it’s a force unique to certain Western cultures. Ro suggests realigning our points of reference and offers a remarkably effective exercise to help us recalibrate around our true selves.

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An Over-Cluttered Life Mar 06, 2020

Stuff, things, objects, physical belongings. We need them to live our lives, but they can feel like SUCH a burden! In this episode of BEWILDERED, Martha and Ro examine our collective desire to accumulate stuff, which conflicts with our instinct to feel wild, unfettered, and free. Our hosts explain how nonstop shopping is a cultural trap and offer some simple tips to escape it. Many of us feel a bewildering need to buy, have, and keep, but when we reconnect with our beWILDered selves, we remember the beauty of open space.

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Bewildered Trailer Feb 11, 2020

A podcast for people who are trying to figure it out. Join Martha Beck and Rowan Mangan for help figuring out everyday conundrums. If you’re bewildered, join us!

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The Courage to Rest Jan 24, 2020

How do we justify resting in a world that wants us in constant motion? Martha and Ro address this question with compassion and irreverence, digging into the cultural context of human exhaustion. They explain that we work our fingers to the bone because we think productivity makes us good people. But rest isn’t a luxury, it’s an imperative! And when we learn to be WILD—embracing unscheduled time, the power of choice, and naps—we find balance. Martha urges us to chase joy with abandon and rest without guilt.

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Self-Doubt and Creativity Jan 24, 2020

In this episode, Martha and Ro dive into an eternal creative conundrum: how to manage inner criticism. They explore ways to quiet the voice of your destructive inner critic, making way for the discerning inner critic who can improve your work. You’ll learn how Martha and Ro each navigate constructive self-criticism and get some insightful guidance from Martha about how to quell the fear (which is the source of self-doubt).

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The Productivity Addict Jan 24, 2020

Productivity addicts! You don't have to burn your to-do list... but in this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro explore the manic edge of productivity fever and how we can all come back to our senses — without having to ignore what needs to get done. Find out about "mixed pleasures," learn an exercise to release physical anxiety, and hear all the reasons why you need more oxytocin in your life.

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The Happiness Imperative Jan 24, 2020

In the very first episode of the Bewildered podcast, Martha and Ro unpack the importance of embracing our WILDNESS. Now, running naked through the woods has its charms, but wildness takes many *forms, including mindful rebellion against conformity. Our hosts share their circuitous journeys from the bewilderment of culture’s consensus to the beWILDerment of their natural senses. Ro challenges our notions of happiness, and Martha shares an exercise to help us find our way back to our true selves.

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