Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson - Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson

Latest Episodes:

Ep. 41: How to Assert Yourself Effectively Oct 22, 2018

Show notes

Relationships go smoothly when everyone wants the same thing. But how common is that? On this episode, Forrest and Dr. Hanson continue the strength of Courage by exploring how we can assert ourselves effectively.

If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.

Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Connect with the show:

The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!

Timestamps:

1:15: Why do people struggle to assert themselves effectively?

3:10: Setting the stage for asserting yourself.

8:45: Keeping your eyes on the prize.

11:50: Commenting on process.

16:10: Focusing on the future.

18:15: What would it look like if you got what you wanted?

24:00: Make requests, not demands.

25:50: Making requests with dignity.

28:50: Consolidating your gains.

30:45: Make clear agreements.

32:15: How can I help you do this?

37:10: Recap

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Ep. 40: Speaking from the Heart Oct 15, 2018

Show notes

Think about the weight of what’s been unsaid in your relationships. What have the effects been on you and other people? Today we’ll explore how to express those undelivered communications, and "speak from the heart" with kindness and skill.

Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Connect with the show:

The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!

Timestamps:

1:25: What do you mean by speaking from the heart?

3:00: What do we gain by speaking from the heart?

5:10: Speaking the positive as well as the negative.

6:20: The different dangers in speaking from the heart.

8:00: Establishing safety.

11:45: Being clear about our own facts.

15:30: What are the results you’re aiming for?

16:30: Talking about process.

21:20: Knowing your line in the sand.

22:30: Start by joining.

26:00: Leading with “I feel.”

28:15: Wise speech.

35:20: Continuing to practice empathy.

37:15: Nonviolent communication.

40:15: Honoring other people’s fundamental questions.

43:00: Recap

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Ep. 39: People Aren't Dependable. Now What? Oct 08, 2018

Show notes

We have a natural desire for a reliable world - but life happens, and no person or organization is perfectly dependable. Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how we can learn to manage that natural undependability.

If you'd like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's online program The Foundations of Well Being, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off the purchase price.

Connect with the show:

The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!

Timestamps:

2:00: Our expectations of dependability.

5:00: The undependability of experience.

7:30: The inevitability of disappointment.

12:30: Centering amidst disappointment.

17:00: Seeing what IS dependable.

20:40: Recap.

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Ep. 38: How to Keep Your Eyes On the Prize Oct 02, 2018

Show notes

It’s easy to spend more time dwelling on the faults of others than reflecting on the room for improvement in oneself. Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how "unilateral virtue" helps us focus on our side of the street, and keep our eyes on the prize.

Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Connect with the show:

The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!

Timestamps:

1:10: Where does unilateral virtue come from?

3:15: Being virtuous without becoming a doormat.

7:20: Fulfilling expectations and creating a framework of trust.

12:20: Doing things out of the kindness of our heart.

14:50: How can we establish our personal code?

18:00: Ways to set and keep personal commitments.

20:10: The difference between inner and other directed.

24:00: Other tactics for maintaining unilateral virtue.

25:30: Staying calm during an irritating interaction.

29:00: Staying humble about how righteous you are.

31:35: Feeling “at choice.”

34:15: Recap.

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Ep. 37: Become Kinder and More Compassionate Sep 24, 2018

Show notes

One would think it would be obvious, but the importance of warming the heart, and developing greater compassion and kindness as personal traits, is often overlooked in our important relationships. Dr. Hanson draws on 35+ years of couples counseling experience to teach us how to do just that.

Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Connect with the show:

The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!

Timestamps:

0:45: The less obvious reasons to be compassionate and kind.

5:00: The difference between compassion and kindness.

9:00: Loving at will.

11:30: Ways we can increase our capacity for compassion and kindness.

14:00: Respecting the boundaries of others.

16:30: Compassion and kindness while maintaining clear boundaries.

18:10: The protection of warmheartedness.

19:35: The difference between doing a negative thing and receiving a negative response.

20:45: Being loving inside yourself.

21:35: Two equally valuable ways to be loving and kind.

22:40: Loving others helps heal our wounds around love.

24:15: Recap

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Ep. 36: How to Become More Empathic Sep 17, 2018

Show notes

One of the most important interpersonal skills is empathy, which allows us to tune into and understand other people. Dr. Hanson and Forrest continue their discussion on Intimacy by exploring how we can grow this key strength.

Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Connect with the show:

The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!

Timestamps:

0:30: Why do we need to be empathic in order to be intimate?

1:50: Where does empathy come from biologically?

5:15: Summary of the three ways we can show empathy.

5:50: Is empathy a trait that can be developed?

8:15: Sustaining your attention to other people.

10:35: Letting yourself be truly affected by another person.

12:30: Empathic joining vs. problem solving.

13:55: Having empathy for perspectives very different from your own.

18:45: Ways to have empathy in the moment.

20:00: Feeling felt.

21:20: Using empathy responsibly.

22:00: Empathic imagination.

24:15: How to avoid playing the psychologist.

26:00: Being aware of true intentions.

27:40: Managing tone and using empathy to communicate.

30:25: Finding me and we through empathy.

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Ep. 35: Developing Intimacy and Autonomy Sep 10, 2018

Show notes

Dr. Hanson and Forrest begin a new strength, Intimacy, with a discussion focused on how to balance two seemingly conflicting goals: maintaining our independence from other people while also forging emotionally intimate relationships with them.

Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Connect with the show:

The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!

Timestamps:

1:40: How does intimacy support autonomy?

3:50: What does appropriate autonomy look like?

5:30: How does autonomy support intimacy?

8:50: The importance of choice.

10:25: Is there a biological basis for preferences for intimacy or autonomy?

12:35: The ways we inhibit ourselves.

16:10: Where do our inhibitions come from?

19:15: How issues with autonomy can disguise themselves as problems with intimacy.

21:55: The oppression of the internalized audience.

24:45: Focusing on your own experience.

26:20: How to build healthy emotional boundaries.

29:00: Remembering when things went well.

30:30: Asserting your autonomy inside your own mind.

34:15: The importance of balance.

35:20: Recap

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Ep. 34: Learn to Pursue Your Goals Sep 05, 2018

Show notes

On this unique episode, Forrest interviews Dr. Hanson about his personal story of motivation – including how to transform from someone who lacks a natural feeling of motivation to someone who can diligently pursue their goals.

Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Connect with the show:

The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!

Timestamps:

2:00: Learning how to naturally motivate yourself.

5:00: Valuing your unique gifts.

6:30: Adding up an extra two hours.

8:30: Sustaining motivation through a long day.

11:45: Reducing the friction in your life.

14:10: The importance of taking decisive action.

17:00: The difference between motivation and discipline.

19:20: The feeling of commitment toward your goals.

26:00: Recognizing how limited our time is.

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Ep. 33: How to Motivate Yourself Aug 27, 2018

Show notes

We all have things we know would be good to do, but it’s hard to do them. On this episode, Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest focus on a key aspect of motivation: how we can incline our minds to break bad habits, and want the things that are good for it.

Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Connect with the show:

The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!

Timestamps:

0:40: Why doesn’t just knowing that something is bad stop us from doing it?

2:55: How does motivation work biologically?

7:00: The importance of connecting good behaviors to direct rewards.

8:50: Becoming good at imagining rewards.

12:40: Internalizing reward along the way.

14:20: Imbuing simple tasks with meaning.

17:30: Bringing playfulness to what you do.

19:30: Is there genetic variation in how easily motivated people are?

23:35: Having empathy for biological differences between people.

27:40: The relationship between nature and nurture.

33:35: The value of fulfilling expectations.

37:25: Identifying novelty.

39:40: Finding the fun factor.

41:00: Self-nurturance vs. self-criticism.

46:15: Recap

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Ep. 32: Use Passion Without Stress Aug 20, 2018

Show notes

Dr. Hanson and Forrest continue the strength of Motivation by exploring how we can use healthy passion without falling victim to unhealthy righteousness, anger, and stress.

Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Connect with the show:

The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!

Timestamps:

1:00: What’s the relationship between stress and passion?

3:50: Applying positive vs. negative emotion.

6:30: Why passion and “revving up” makes you vulnerable to stress.

11:30: Why can things BE great but FEEL wearing?

15:00: “Faking” passion, and the influence of culture.

17:20: Learning how to hit the gas, and then tap the brakes.

19:00: Four ways to stay in healthy passion.

27:50: Recap