Behind the Breakthroughs

Latest Episodes:

Life Without A Manual May 16, 2018

Show notes

In honor of Mother's Day Dr. Annette Nunez and Maylene Visaya dedicate this episode to all the Mom's out in the world. We discuss the importance of self-care, positive mantras, and being responsible for writing your own life story. Each day is the beginning of a new page in the chapter of your book and that is the beauty of life without a manual.

The transition from school to summertime can be a stressful time of year. It is important to recognize your stress and anxiety because children will pick up on it and react to it. One way to decrease your stress is to find a positive quote or mantra and say it multiple times a day. When say positive words you will begin talking positively to your unconscious. Before you know it you will see a shift in your mind, body, and soul. This will decrease your stress and allow you to be present as a mother.

IN THIS EPISODE:

- In this episode Dr. Annette Nunez and Maylene Visaya give a "shout out" to all the mama's out in the world in honor of Mother's Day.

- We talk about the quote, "Life doesn't come with a manual it comes with a mother," because mother's are the glue that hold families together.

- We also discuss the beauty of life not coming with a manual and how each day you start a new page in the chapter of YOUR book.

- For mother's self-care is extremely important.

- If you cannot take care of yourself then you cannot be present and take care of others.

- Self-care is also important during this time of year because it is the end of the school year and there is a BIG summer time transition coming.

- It is important to stay clam during this time because children pick up on the non-verbal cues of anxiety and stress.

- Even if you think you are acting "calm," your child can pick up on your stress.

- Provide lots of structure during this transitional time. Create visual schedules, calendars, etc. to let your child know what they will be doing.

- It will not only decreases their anxiety and stress but yours as well.

- If your child regresses during this time of year do not be worried. Many children and adults have trouble adjusting to new schedules and big changes.

- Once a schedule is established, you will begin to see your child's behavior go back to normal.

- Your child reacts to your emotions. So if you are stressed your child will react to that.

- One way to decrease stress is to find a positive quote or mantra that resonates with you and say it multiple times a day.

- Words are important. Every-time you say something negative or positive you are talking to your unconscious.

- If you are focusing on the negative and saying negative statements then your unconscious is picking up on negativity.

- Catch yourself saying negative statements and begin to say your positive quote.

- You will begin talking positively to your unconscious and before you know it, you will see a shift in your mind, body, and soul.

- Write your positive quote down and place it all around your house as reminders to say it multiple times a day.

- When you as a mother and woman are in a good space you can be present for others.

Learn to Mindshift… Below are the three Mindshifts from this podcast:

Find a a positive quote that resonates with you. Write in down and put it throughout your house. Say this quote several times throughout the day.
Sit down with your child/children and write something positive about them. Have your child say that positive statement throughout the day. If your child is non-verbal say the positive statement to them throughout the day.

Annette's Vignettes May 09, 2018

Show notes

Once a month Dr. Annette Nunez will do a segment entitled Annette's Vignettes. During these episodes Dr. Nunez will share her experiences as therapist as well as her personal life situations. The realness of these vignettes are meant to be inspirational, tear jerking, and/or funny. They also tell a story of what really goes on Behind the Breakthroughs.

In this episode Dr. Nunez will talk about a vignette that involves freeways, jumping out of moving vehicles, cops, a parent threatening to call the cops, and almost missing a flight to Vegas. You will have to listen to the podcast for all the details.

IN THIS EPISODE:

- Each month we will be doing a segment called Annette's Vignettes.

- These vignettes are situations that have happened with our clients during therapeutic sessions, or situations that have happened in our personal lives.

- During this segment we talk about what we go through as therapists and what we go through personally.

- This episode takes a deeper look into what happens "Behind the Breakthroughs."

- The vignettes in these episodes will be inspirational, tear jerking, or funny.

- These vignettes will always end with mindshifts that you can learn from.

- In this episode Dr. Nunez shares about a client who tried to jump out of a moving vehicle on the freeway.

- This scenario happened during Dr. Nunez's birthday month (July) and the day she saw this particular client she had plans to fly to Vegas.

- This scenario involves freeways, jumping out of moving vehicles, cops, a parent threatening to call the cops, and almost missing a flight to Vegas (you have to listen to the podcast for all the details)

- This vignette is an example of how life is better when you remain calm and find the humor in every situation that life throws at you.

- Many times life can be serious and bring you down… but if you can laugh about things, it makes life a whole lot easier.

- This vignette also teaches the importance of consistency.

- This client was having a HUGE tantrum and was refusing to go to summer camp.

- The night before Dr. Nunez saw this client and said to him, "If you are having trouble going to camp tomorrow morning, I will come over and help you go to camp."

- To avoid giving an empty threat, Dr. Nunez went to the clients's house to help him go to camp just hours before her Vegas flight.

- Consistency is important especially when parenting a child with autism.

- We don't want to give empty threats to kids.

- When you as a parent/professional do not follow through, you reinforce negative behavior.

- Often times I see children will learn to tantrum in order to get their way because the adult will ultimately give in.

- Children need to understand that they can't avoid everything in life by tantruming.

- The follow through is what matters for children.

- Diagnosis or not, kids need boundaries and need to learn them early on, because those are the skills they need for their future.

MINDSHITS (takeaways)

The first takeawy is that autism has no limits. It is important to really set the standards high for your child. They will not only meet these standards, but go far beyond them.
The importance of consistency and recognizing when you are giving empty threats to your child. Empty threats lead to reinforcing undesirable behaviors.
Remember self- care.
Keep calm in stressful situations and finding the humor in what life has to offer.

Connecting Us May 02, 2018

Show notes

Meet Stephanie Schiff the Executive Director of Connect Us a Denver-based nonprofit, whose mission is to develop skills in young children necessary to becoming socially competent, self-confident, and resilient individuals through physical, creative, and collaborative play in a guided learning environment. Stephanie talks about the importance of play and socialization especially for children on the autism spectrum. She also addresses the social challenges that children with autism face on the playground and gives helpful ways to encourage engagement and connection.

In this episode we will discuss acceptance and inclusion and how it all starts on the playground. Children socialize through play, not in a therapeutic office. Stephanie shares how her program, Connect Us, teaches social skills in organic environments such as the playground and teaches children at a young age to be self-confident, inclusive, and accepting of ALL players on the playground.

IN THIS EPISODE:

- In this episode Stephanie Schiff, who is the Executive Director of Connect Us a non-profit program based out of Denver, CO, joins us.

- Connect Us is a non-profit organization that brings together all types of kids, at all types of developmental levels together and through intentional play the facilitators build self-confidence and social skills in order to create inclusive communities.

- Stephanie is amazing and what she has done is amazing. Some background about Stephanie, she has a son with autism and started Connect Us to help teach her son how to socialize.

- When Stephanie's son started kindergarten he was trying so hard to make friends and fit in, but he just didn't have the skills. Stephanie tried to get the school to help him integrate with other kids and help him socially. In a nutshell, they basically told her that they needed to be concentrating on test scores. The school told her that they didn't have the luxury of helping her son to connect socially.

- Stephanie's son started to withdraw and became depressed. Before that he was a very happy child. He could not express what was going on so Stephanie started hanging out on the playground especially during recess. She saw her son walking around the perimeter of the playground by himself. Anytime he would attempt to play he couldn't.

- We are sure parents and professionals can relate to this story… watching their son or daughter walking around the playground alone and not really understanding how to socialize.

- We like to remind adults that kids socialize through play.

- It is really important to teach our kids how to play, and not in a robotic way, but in a natural way.

- Connect Us intentionally uses organic social environments like recess, summer camps, and after school programs to model and teach kids social skills.

- Connect Us does it through guided and collaborative play.

- Playing organically is important. Playing in a therapy room is different than playing on a playground because there is more stimuli to be accounted for.

- When you are on the playground there's so many things that go on that children aren't prepared for because it's so spontaneous.

- Stephanie's team does an amazing job with knowing when to step in and prompt a child so that they are successful socially and when to step out.

- A lot of times when we go into schools we see aides over prompt children during play where they are hand over hand prompting and that's not natural. It is important to know when to step in and prompt and when to pull back.

- Stephanie tells her staff that they will know what they are doing is working when they are doing nothing. When they can just stand back and see that every single child is engaged. When they are not working that's when they have hit their goal.

- Stephanie calls recess the "Lord of the Flies," because you have 100 kids and 3 aides. The aides job is to put out fires. They do not engage with kids or to solve problems. In fact what the aides teach kids to stop tattling.

- So what we teach kids right away is adults don't want to hear they have a problem. They are teaching kids to bottle up their problems and keep it to themselves. They don't teach the skills for children to survive on the playground.

- So the "Lord of Flies" mentality is survival of the fittest. So if you are a kid with issues or developmental disabilities, you inherently do not have the skills to survive on the playground.

- Those kids become ostracized… they become "loners" on the playground.

- It is really important to have programs like Connect Us to help teach kids to accept and be inclusive especially on the playground where kids socialize.

- Children spend 5 days a week, 6 hours a day, 9 months out of the year at school. It is a social laboratory and adults have a responsibility to help these kids not just learn how to write and do math but how to relate to other people, how to make friends, how to include everybody.

- Stephanie also adds that it is really important to remember it is not about test scores. Test scores can only get you so far in life. In order to hold a job and maintain a job you have to have social skills. Social skills are life skills. That's how you learn to live independently.

- If we just focus on human connection vs. human accomplishment I think a lot could change.

- Social Skills are especially critical for kids with autism. Stephanie found a study from the CDC in 2013 that children with autism are 28 times more likely to consider or attempt suicide. These children are at increased risk, and it's not due to neurological differences but due to social factors.

- Stephanie talks about how a lot of people think that children with autism brains are just different. However, it is years of exclusion and not understanding why people are not fitting in is what is causing this to happen.

- Early intervention programs or meeting kids where they live, which is practically the playground, can prevent and address social exclusion and bullying.

- Teaching kids how to play on the playground can save a child's life by reducing social anxiety and depression.

- Teaching kids that it is ok to be different… who cares. We all have something we are good at and we all have something we struggle with.

- We need to normalize those differences and make it not a big deal.

- The one thing that surprised Stephanie at the start of her journey is that everything is teachable. If we don't take the time to teach our kids, they don't know what they don't' know.

- It's a 50/50 proposition is how Stephanie thinks of it. Children have a responsibility to learn social skills we as adults have a responsibility teach it.

- You are not going to build skills in a therapist's office. It has to happen in natural environments out on the playground and afterschool programs.

- The skills generalize but it takes practice, practice, practice and confidence, confidence, and confidence!

- As a community its give and take. You have to be involved.

- It is the community's responsibility as well. It takes a village.

- Stephanie highly recommends that parents see what their kid is doing at recess. Then to ask their teacher how do other kids treat their child and how does their child treat others.

- Become your child's advocate and that's what Stephanie did at an early stage.

- Stephanie was climbing trees and had kids on her back. She had to be the fun mom because her son didn't inherently understand social skills.

- Stephanie also recommends to play and have fun and laugh. Be a kid again!

Learn to Mindshift… Below are the three Mindshifts from this podcast:

Connecting Us is about developing that human connection and really connecting with others.
This week's homework is to spend 10-minutes a day to really connect with your child.

RESOURCE: Connect Us is based out of Denver, Colorado. If you would like to contact them get some play ideas or to talk about their program you can visit their website at www.connectusnow.org

Moving Forward Together Apr 25, 2018

Show notes

In this episode we take a look at a mother's journey with her son diagnosed with autism. From his initial diagnosis to where he is now, we discuss all the highs and lows that happened along the way. Their journey is inspirational one and we hope that you will connect with aspects of it to help you on your journey.

Meet Tina Ruth, a mother of a child with autism. She never allowed professionals to determine the fate of her son. Her hands on approach as a mother and advocate for son allowed him to grow and become the sweet, connected, funny, and loving person he was always meant to be.

IN THIS EPISODE:

Introductions: Meet Tina Ruth one of the most inspirational women we know. She has a son who is diagnosed with autism.
Tina is one of the most generous, kind, and most humble person we know and love.
Tina wants to share her inspirational journey of what she has gone through with her son Jacob, in hopes that you can connect or have something resonate with you that it will help you on your journey.
Tina describes her initial instincts about Jacob being different from other kids at 12 months. The biggest thing that she noticed about Jacob was that when she would hold him, he would be a limp noodle and he would not make eye contact.
As a mom with a first child you have no clue what to expect. She just thought it was hard…it was motherhood.
Jacob was formerly diagnosed at 2, but he started therapy at 12-14 months because he wasn't speaking.
At first the doctor said, "Kids develop differently let's just wait and see."
Tina instinctually knew something was "off."
Many times we hear doctors say to moms "He's a boy and boys usually are late to talk." But it's really important to trust your parental instinct.
Tina explains how her husband would excuse Jacob's behavior by saying, "He's a boy. I was a tough boy. My mom said I didn't talk until I was 5."
The day Jacob was diagnosed was a horrible day. It was a day of testing and Tina describes she just wanted him to do so well.
When the doctor sat down with Tina and her husband and said, "Your child has autism." Tina describes that she immediately went into a mode where her hearing was muffled and buzzing in her head.
She watched her husband argue with the doctor, "No he's not. He's just a boy."
Tina talks about it being so ingrained in people that "nothing is wrong with their kid," when there is one asks, "How can this happen?"
Receiving a diagnosis of autism is devastating. That's the only word Tina could think of initially… it's devastating!
Tina didn't stay in that devastation long. She cried and mourned but then she realized she was mourning about something that she never had. Jacob was never going to be a "typical kid." So Tina asked herself, "What am I really upset about?"
Before the diagnosis she loved him. He was a great kid. After the diagnosis he's the same kid. She still has the same hopes and dreams for him. It's just the path to get there is now a little different.
The path is different from other kids but it can be done.
It's "Behind the Breakthroughs," and there has been a lot of breakthroughs with Jacob.
Tina's journey through the public school system had ups and downs.
Tina talks about preschool being great. They had great peer modeling program where 10-12 "typical" kids would engage with the kids on spectrum. That was wonderful.
When Jacob started kindergarten all bets were off because the school did not want to collaborate with Jacob's private therapists.
The day that solidified that public school was not Jacob was when Tina observed him during story time in library and all the kids were engaged. She didn't see Jacob at first. Then she saw him sitting on the lap of his aide in a rocking chair looking at a book. Tina thought that wasn't ok, he needs to be in a class interacting with his peers learning how to learn. So that was the icing on the cake.
Jacob loved being with the kids and wanted to be with them, however, he was being pulled out and it was disheartening to see.
The final straw was during a meeting the school said that Jacob would never be able to navigate a classroom and that his IQ was lower than expected. The school then said they would pass him year to year in their special program to get a diploma.
Tina thought there was no reason Jacob couldn't learn how to learn.
During this meeting the principal came in and berated Tina. She told her that she needed to get over her expectations and explained to Tina that she had a son with autism and that her son doesn't get invited to birthday parties and that's the way it is.
That goes to show you that people like to place limits on children with autism. Like this principal who compared Jacob to her son and put him in the same boat. It is unfortunate and in a sense unethical to place/displace what you feel a child with autism is capable of.
Everyone is different. When "you meet one child with autism, you've met one child with autism. I don't know any other child like Jacob.
After that meeting, Tina's hearing went out and the buzzing began. The next day Tina was labeled as the "crazy" mom and they wouldn't allow her to come into school and observe Jacob.
Tina started calling every single private, religious school out there. She would have even converted if she had to. Her goal was to get Jacob in a safe nurturing environment where he could be treated like everyone else. She wanted to find a place where they held higher expectations.
Tina got lots of "no's," until she called Mr. Moore at All Souls Catholic school. He was the principal and he said, "Ok, let's give it a try. If it's not a right fit we will let you know."
By 3rd or 4th grade Jacob was fully transitioned into All Souls School with no aide.
Now Jacob is in High School. He has no aide, but he has tutors. He's in mainstream class at a private high school. He is manager of the football team. Jacob started to become interested in football and the game. He wanted to do it his freshmen year but Tina and her husband thought it would be too much. His sophomore year he begged to become manager and Tina's husband talked to coach and coach loved the idea. Jacob traveled with the team and did everything with them. During the games he would cheer and yell on the side.
Tina makes an important point by saying, "You know we want to make things easy for kids and make the path as easy as possible and remove the obstacles. With Jake I have struggled with this a bit. I often say to myself, should I let him be the kid that he started out being, the flapper and spinner. But my choice is no. I see a lot of other parents engage with that and they let their kids do things because it makes them feel good. But then I remind myself that it also felt good to Jacob to pull out all his eye lashes and chew his fingernails to the skin. Those things are not ok, so to me neither was the flapping or spinning or things people look at as "strange." Like the meltdowns during transitions. So everything Jacob did, we redirected and helped him cope better. I knew Jacob wanted to be socially accepted. He wanted to have friends and be around kids and to be a part of things."
Tina talks about exposing Jacob to many different things that he was resistant to such as dogs, traveling, etc.
Tina has not placed any limits on Jake and now he loves to travel and go places and Jacob is going to get a diploma the real way. He also wants to go to college. He is set on going to a college in Wisconsin or Texas.
Jacob is doing fabulous. He is not a savant and academics are very hard for him. English and Math are difficult and he has a tutor everyday. He has Bs and Cs and he works his butt off for those grades. He sees his sister not studying and breezing through school and gets frustrated. But we tell him as long as you give it your best we are happy.
Jacob recently gave up french fries and coke.
Tina wants parents to know that not everything works for every kid. However, give everything a shot because you never know what's going to work. If you feel you are wasting money and time then find something else. Its not worth the time and effort.
The big thing these miracle workers (Annette and May) do is come into our home and do amazing things. But the thing is if you don't follow through it's all for nothing.
Jake is doing great but I think we are a whole lot of lucky… with a lot of hard work. The road wasn't easy and we still go through ups and downs.
Tina views Jake as the greatest. He has such a good heart and he is just so full of joy. He has a beautiful life.
Tina has created a beautiful life for Jacob. All her hard work has transferred to him.
We spoke about that in the last show… what you do transfers to your child.
The name of this podcast is Moving Forward Together. Tina moved forward. She moved and Jacob moved with her. Tina changed and tried different things and so did Jacob.

Looking Behind the Breakthroughs Apr 18, 2018

Show notes

Looking Behind the Breakthroughs:

Meet Dr. Annette Nunez and Maylene April Visaya, LPC who are licensed psychotherapists based out of Denver, Colorado. Combined they have over 30 years of experience in working with children with autism. Come and join them as they will share with you their inspirational stories "Behind the Breakthroughs" that have lead to each of their client's journey to success. Looking Behind the Breakthroughs is an introductory podcast meant to inspire and empower moms, professionals, and women in hopes of creating a community where autism has no limits.

Are you a mother who has a child with autism? Are you a professional working with children with autism? Do you often doubt your parenting or your work as a professional? We are here to tell you that doubt is normal and this is your journey… your story… Behind YOUR Breakthrough. In this episode we will go over that autism has no limits, just like life has no limits. We will encourage you identify what success means to you and for your child. We will also teach you about the concept of Mindshifting during times of doubt and stress the importance self-care and we are here to tell you that everything will be O.K.

IN THIS EPISODE:

-Introduction to Dr. Annette Nunez and Maylene April Visaya.

-Dr. Nunez has a private practice, Breakthrough Interventions, where she specializes in providing therapy to children with autism and other related disorders.

-Many inspirational stories have come out of Breakthrough Interventions that Dr. Nunez and Maylene would like to share with the public. These stories are "Behind the Breakthroughs."

- Behind the Breakthroughs are conversations around "Autism Has No Limits."

-We tend to look at the breakthrough itself, and don't really look at the lesson going on behind those breakthroughs.

-We believe that autism has no limits and when you set the bar high your child can reach his/her goals.

-Success is different for everyone. This podcast will help you identify success and what success means to you.

-They say children with autism can't connect. That is wrong. We help coach parents to connect with their child.

-There are always highs and lows "Behind the Breakthroughs." These highs and lows are called life.

-Life evolves as you evolve. As your child evolves, you evolve to be the parent you want to be and the parent your child with autism needs.

-Self-care is knowing when you need to be in a good space before you can be available and present for your family and most importantly for your child with autism.

-Knowing what you need for yourself to help balance and center yourself so that you can be available for others.

-Learn to listen to your needs before others. When your needs are not met, you will not be present to help fulfill the needs of others. For example sometimes after a hard week, you just need delicious food.

-It's great to have a behavior plan that looks good on paper. But when you're at the store and your child is having a meltdown in the middle of everything. You are nervous and getting frustrated. People are looking at you like you're a bad parent. You can't get your child off the floor and they are screaming. Those behavior plans that look good on paper however they are useless in real life situations. That's the real life of parenting a child with autism.

-We want to help parents get back to their natural instincts of parenting so they can help their child breakthrough.

-We want to help you become your child's expert and trust your innate parental instincts.

-We want your child to get connected with you and with your family.

-In this podcast we will be talking about "Mindshifts."

- This podcast is a time to unplug and relate as women and re-connect with oneself.

-Instead of saying challenging, refer to children as colorful or spirited. We need to break away from words with negative connotations.

-Life doesn't give you things you can't handle

-Kids teach you about yourself, your patience, your understanding of compassion and empathy.

-There's beauty in not knowing and in those moments are opportunity for growth.

-Life isn't about perfection. It is about the work. Behind the Breakthroughs is sharing real life stories, the work behind the Breakthroughs.

-No matter how hard it gets, no matter how difficult life gets, it'll be ok. When you're in the thick of things, remember the successes you overcame to get where you are.

Learn to Mindshift… Below are the three Mindshifts from this podcast:

Re-define how you perceive and view autism. Autism has no limits.

Start making self-care a lifestyle by recognizing what things make you feel good.

Identify negative thoughts and stop them by saying, "It's going to be ok." Whether you know the solution or can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Stop that train of negative thought and let things come to you. Let life happen. Shift that negative thought to a positive. Life will be o.k.

RESOURCES:

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/data.html

Breakthrough Interventions

www.btintervention.com

QUOTE:

"Success is a journey not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome." -Arthur Asche