Becoming UnDone® with Dr. Toby Brooks - Dr. Toby Brooks

Latest Episodes:

127 | The Life, Lessons, and Legacy of Dick Tomey Part 14: The Untold Love Story of Coach Tomey & Nanci Kincaid Jul 12, 2025

Show notes

About the Guest

Nanci Kincaid is a celebrated novelist known for her emotionally resonant storytelling and authentic voice. She gained notable acclaim for her book Balls, published in 1998, which offers insights into the life of coaches' wives. Nanci was married to the late legendary coach Dick Tomey, whose coaching career spanned several successful programs, including Hawaii, Arizona, and San Jose State. Nanci has been an influential voice among spouses of sports professionals, providing a unique perspective from the sidelines of major college football. Her insights into life with a prominent coach and her own career as an author make her a compelling storyteller and personality.

Episode Summary

In this episode of Becoming UnDone, host Toby Brooks engages with Nanci Kincaid, the widow of iconic football coach Dick Tomey, to explore the legacy and lessons left by her late husband. Known for transforming underdog teams into contenders, Coach Tomey's leadership style was both demanding and compassionate, a hallmark of his illustrious career. His driving belief that "great coaches go into impossible places and make them possible" embodies his approach to coaching and life. Nanci shares memories and insights from their life together, painting an intimate portrait of a man who, despite the demands of a high-stakes profession, maintained deep personal connections and a commitment to character-building.

The episode delves into the challenges of the 2000s season, a pivotal point in Coach Tomey’s career, capturing the emotional weight of leading through difficult times. Nanci recounts how Tomey's belief in forgiveness, optimism, and continual growth helped both him and his teams succeed against odds. From discussions on leadership principles to personal anecdotes about life beyond the field, this episode offers a profound exploration of the values that Dick Tomey instilled not just in his players, but everyone around him. The conversation encapsulates the essence of maintaining cultural integrity, choosing happiness as a decision, and the significance of leaving a legacy defined by love and loyalty.

Key Takeaways

Legacy of Leadership: Coach Dick Tomey's leadership style was marked by compassion, forgiveness, and a commitment to developing character in his players.
Life Beyond Football: For Coach Tomey, football was not only about winning games but was a medium to teach important life lessons and foster personal growth.
Resilience Through Challenges: The 2000 season was a testament to Tomey's resilience and ability to remain focused on team and individual values amidst professional turmoil.
The Power of Forgiveness: One of Tomey’s greatest strengths was his ability to forgive, enabling others to grow and learn from their mistakes without fear of retribution.
Cultural Impact: Coach Tomey's influence went beyond his formal coaching role, as he developed lasting relationships and left a timeless legacy in multiple communities.

Notable Quotes

"Great coaches go into impossible places and make them possible." – Nanci Kincaid
"I'm a learner. And that was the most romantic feeling thing I had ever heard anybody say." – Nanci Kincaid
"Happiness is not something that happens to you if you're lucky. All happiness is, is a decision you make to be happy." – Nanci Kincaid
"He was never a golden boy. Everything came hard." – Nanci Kincaid
"We lost Coach Dick Tomey to cancer in 2019, but if anything, I've seen his fingerprints… in my own life more since then." – Toby Brooks

Resources

Nanci Kincaid on Amazon Books
Learn more about Coach Dick Tomey and his legacy through the Hawaii Bowl Foundation
Highlights of Dick Tomey’s coaching career and continu

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Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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126 | The Impact of a Purpose Storm: Transforming Loss into New Beginnings Jun 30, 2025

Show notes

About the Host

Toby Brooks is an introspective speaker, coach, and author with experience in helping high-performance athletes and high achievers from diverse industries such as the arts, military, and entrepreneurship to navigate significant transitions in their lives. Through his personal journey from being an athlete to becoming a mentor and coach, Toby developed a keen insight into the identity shifts that accompany career and life changes. He has developed the UN.D.O.N.E. (tm) coaching model, aimed at helping individuals rebuild their lives and careers from the inside out.

Episode Summary

In this podcast episode, Toby Brooks explores the deep emotional journey many face as they transition from roles that once defined them. As someone who once sat in a locker room dealing with the loss of his identity as an athlete, Toby draws parallels between his experience and the struggles others face when their professional or personal identities change. He delves into what he terms "purpose storms," moments when individuals must confront the daunting question of who they are now that their previous roles have ended.

The episode further unpacks the journey of self-discovery and identity evolution. Toby highlights that losing an identity, whether it's as an athlete, a military leader, or a corporate executive, does not mean an end but rather a shift towards becoming something new. Using the story of Olympian Michael Phelps, he illustrates the profound impact identity loss can have and the need to grieve one's past identity to embrace new opportunities. This thoughtful discourse also introduces Toby's own UN.D.O.N.E. Method (tm), a framework for personal growth and transformation designed to guide people through significant life shifts with intention and courage.

Key Takeaways:

Identity transitions are a common and challenging experience that many people face, irrespective of their profession or achievement level.
Experiencing the end of a significant role or identity can lead to a deep period of introspection referred to as "purpose storms."
Grieving past identities is essential to moving forward and embracing new opportunities and roles in life.
The "Undone Method," Toby Brooks' coaching model, offers a structured approach to navigating personal and professional transitions.
Identity does not disappear with the loss of a role; it evolves, and with support, the shift can lead to new, fulfilling paths.

Notable Quotes:

"Endings aren't just about what stops. They're about what shifts."
"Identity doesn't evaporate. It evolves."
"You might not be the athlete anymore, but maybe you're the mentor, the coach, the author, the entrepreneur."
"You have to grieve the old before you can greet the new."
"Even when it feels like it's over, it might just be the beginning."

Resources:

Toby Brooks' Website: tobyjbrooks.com

Tune in to the full episode to engage with Toby Brooks' insightful journey and learn more about navigating life's transitions. Stay tuned for more compelling discussions on identity, purpose, and transformation in upcoming episodes.

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125 | San Jose State Football Head Coach Ken Niumatalolo Reflects on Leadership Lessons from Coach Tomey (Part 13) Jun 28, 2025

Show notes

About the Guest

Ken Niumatalolo is a renowned American football coach recognized for his tenure as head coach at the Naval Academy, where he became the winningest coach in program history. With a career emphasizing leadership, discipline, and teamwork, Niumatalolo has cultivated a legacy of developing successful athletes and resilient teams. Currently serving as the head coach for San Jose State Spartans, Niumatalolo embodies the principles of humility, service, and culture that he learned from influential mentors, including the legendary Coach Dick Tomey.

Episode Summary

In this enlightening episode of Becoming UnDone, host Toby Brooks engages in a heartfelt conversation with Ken Niumatalolo, head coach for San Jose State Spartans. The dialogue begins with a nostalgic recounting of Niumatalolo's roots, from his humble beginnings selling newspapers in Hawaii to becoming a celebrated football quarterback for the Rainbow Warriors, eventually transitioning into coaching. Through personal anecdotes, Niumatalolo shares the profound influence of Coach Dick Tomey on his personal and professional life, illustrating the timeless lessons imparted by Tomey on leadership, integrity, and cultural inclusivity.

Niumatalolo's portrayal of Coach Dick Tomey as a master strategist and compassionate leader underscores the enduring impact of Tomey's philosophies in modern coaching practices. The episode highlights Tomey's universal approach to building cohesive teams from diverse backgrounds, emphasizing the importance of heart, trust, and authenticity. As Niumatalolo expounds on Tomey's legacy, he reflects on the invaluable guidance and support that shaped his coaching journey, reaffirming the narrative that effective leadership transcends the playing field, impacting players' lives beyond their athletic careers.

Key Takeaways

Impactful Leadership: Ken Niumatalolo emphasizes how Coach Dick Tomey's leadership style focused on inclusivity, heart, and genuine care for his players, driving them to succeed both on and off the field.
Cultural Integration: Coach Tomey's ability to unify players from diverse backgrounds set a standard for building teams characterized by cohesion, respect, and a shared commitment to excellence.
Enduring Legacy: The principles and legacy of Coach Tomey continue to resonate within the San Jose State Spartans football program, showcasing a lasting influence on players and staff.
Personal Growth: In an era of transactional leadership, Niumatalolo advocates for a people-first approach that prioritizes individual development and authentic engagement with team members.
Coaching Beyond Wins: Niumatalolo's insights reveal that the ultimate measure of a coach's success extends beyond game victories to the lasting impact on players' lives and personal growth.

Notable Quotes

"Coach Tomey was more of an orchestrator of a mentality. I mean, he was a master psychologist, you know. He was a great motivator." – Ken Niumatalolo
"He might be gone physically, but Coach isn't gone. His life lessons carry on with people that knew him." – Ken Niumatalolo
"The thing I learned from him is that's not what it's about. It's about changing people's lives, having an impact on people's lives." – Ken Niumatalolo
"When the leader decides that people matter more than power, that values matter more than hype, and that long-term impact is worth the cost of the slow, steady investment." – Toby Brooks
"It's awesome that you're doing this, Toby, to remember Coach Tomey, but rest assured, brother, he's not going anywhere." – Ken Niumatalolo

Resources:

San Jose State Spartans Football Program: San Jose Athletics
Previous related guests: Jesse Sapolu, Mike Flores, Dino Babers
Learn more about Coach Dick

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124 | Dick Tomey Part 12: Heart and Hustle with Arizona Wildcat Legend Kelvin Eafon Jun 19, 2025

Show notes

About the Guest

Kelvin Eafon is a former athlete known for his remarkable leadership and resilience on and off the field. Initially recruited as a basketball player to the University of Arizona under legendary coach Lute Olson, Kelvin switched to football under Coach Dick Tomey, where he became a standout leader and co-captain of the 1998 Arizona Wildcats football team. Kelvin is known for his heart and ethos, contributing to one of the most memorable football seasons in Arizona's history. Presently, he is deeply involved in coaching and mentoring young athletes, fostering a culture of leadership and personal development.

Episode Summary

In this insightful episode of Becoming UnDone, host Toby Brooks connects with Kelvin Eafon, a versatile athlete and an acclaimed leader from the 1998 Arizona Wildcats. This conversation takes the listeners on Kelvin's journey, transitioning from basketball to becoming a celebrated football player under the mentorship of Coach Dick Tomey. Kelvin shares how pivotal Tomey's leadership style was, emphasizing the core values of family, resilience, and integrity that he instilled in his players—an ethos that Kelvin carries forward in his current coaching endeavors.

Kelvin delves deep into the dynamics that created a historic season for the Wildcats, celebrating the leadership and camaraderie cultivated by Coach Tomey. The dialogue is rich with themes of undeterred belief, transformation, and the nurturing of potential, making it a compelling narrative about what it takes to be a formidable leader both in and beyond the realm of sports. Kelvin’s reflections underscore the underlying principles that this podcast series explores, portraying transformative stories of individuals becoming more than just athletes but influential leaders in their own right.

Key Takeaways

The transformative power of belief, where Kelvin attributes much of his success to Coach Dick Tomey's persistent encouragement and recognition of his potential.
The pivotal role of leadership in sports, illustrated through Kelvin's experience as co-captain, highlighting the immense responsibility and influence that accompanies athletic leadership.
Insights into Coach Dick Tomey's coaching philosophy, emphasizing player empowerment, love, and integrity, which fostered a strong family-like culture within the team.
Kelvin’s post-athletics career focuses on paying it forward by coaching young athletes, continuing the legacy of mentorship he experienced under Coach Tomey and Lute Olson.
Reflections on the essence of personal relationships and leadership dynamics that extend beyond the sports field, impacting life decisions and career paths.

Notable Quotes

"Love you, I love you." - Dick Tomey, highlighting the deeper, personal connections he fostered with his players.
"Coach used to say, you're either coaching it or you're allowing it to happen." - Reflecting on Tomey's firm belief in accountability and leadership.
"It just that he… he just made… he just showed me that, you know, being a leader and understanding that that leadership sometimes is more important than actually running the ball."
"He was a short guy in stature, but if we had to measure him in heart, probably eight feet tall." - On Coach Tomey's monumental influence.
"To me, it was more about my team. I didn't care about individual stats. All my life, all I ever wanted to do was win."

Resources

This episode encapsulates a timeless tribute to mentorship and leadership under Coach Dick Tom

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123 | Part 11: Discovering Leadership Lessons from Coach Dick Tomey's Legacy with 1998 Arizona Football Co-Captain Barrett Baker May 31, 2025

Show notes

About the Guest

Barrett Baker is a former walk-on turned team captain of the 1998 University of Arizona Wildcats football team, which is known as the most successful team in the school's history. After his collegiate football career, Baker went on to serve with the Tucson Fire Department, where he has been a firefighter for 25 years, working in various capacities and achieving the rank of Assistant Chief. Married to his college sweetheart and a father of three, Baker continues to carry the lessons he learned under Coach Dick Tomey into his personal and professional life.

Episode Summary

In this captivating episode of "Becoming UnDone," host Toby Brooks converses with Barrett Baker, former University of Arizona Wildcats team captain, about his journey from a walk-on to a key player on the 1998 team that made history. Barrett shares insights into the profound influence of Coach Dick Tomey on his life on and off the field. Through engaging stories, Barrett illustrates how Coach Tomey's lessons in leadership, resilience, and teamwork continue to shape his approach to life and work as an Assistant Chief with the Tucson Fire Department.

The conversation deep dives into themes of leadership, resilience, and personal growth, highlighting Coach Tomey’s unique approach to fostering team unity and individual belief. Barrett's anecdotes about his experiences under Coach Tomey not only illuminate the legendary coach's character but also serve as timeless lessons in perseverance and integrity. This episode offers a nuanced look at the lasting impact of Tomey's legacy, emphasizing how meaningful relationships and dedicated mentorship can transform lives. Join Toby Brooks and Barrett Baker for a heartfelt exploration of leadership, community, and the enduring spirit of becoming.

Key Takeaways

Leadership through Unity: Coach Dick Tomey was renowned for his ability to build unity and trust, focusing on the team’s collective strength and fostering a family-like atmosphere.
Opportunity and Resilience: Barrett Baker’s transition from a walk-on to team captain illustrates the power of persistence and taking advantage of opportunities to define success.
Impactful Mentorship: Tomey’s personalized approach to coaching, such as writing handwritten notes, had a profound impact on players, encouraging them to push beyond their limits.
Life Beyond Athletics: The lessons learned on the field have translated into Barrett’s career and personal life, driving his leadership in the Tucson Fire Department.
Legacy of Love and Integrity: Tomey’s emphasis on treating others with respect and kindness resonates through the personal and professional lives of his former players.

Notable Quotes

"You have to believe in the mirror because that person is going to question you more than any other person in your life." - Barrett Baker
"Your actions are speaking so loudly that I can't hear what you are saying." - Coach Dick Tomey, as quoted by Toby Brooks
"If he believed in me, then I can believe in me." - Barrett Baker
"He rewarded you if you worked hard and paid off what you put into things." - Barrett Baker
"It's about the team, the team, the team." - Coach Dick Tomey, as shared by Barrett Baker

Resources

Follow Toby Brooks on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
Explore insights and more episodes of the podcast through Toby Brooks' Linktree.

Tune into this insightful episode to understand the full depth of Barrett Baker's journey and the enduring legacy of Coach Dick Tomey. Stay connected with "Becoming Undone" for more enlig

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122 | The Science of the Comeback: Rebuild with Purpose and Clarity May 22, 2025

Show notes

Episode Summary

In this episode, Toby Brooks delves into the profound impact of reaching career milestones and the subsequent existential challenges that can follow. Reflecting on his personal journey, Toby describes the moment when achieving tenure, a lifelong academic goal, ironically ushered in a period of stagnation and introspection, leading to a deep existential crisis. This realization of "now what?" profoundly shaped his understanding of professional achievements and personal identity.

Throughout the episode, Toby Brooks shares insights on "The Science of the Comeback," a methodology he developed through personal experience and rigorous study. Centered on the "three Rs": Reflect, Realign, and Rebuild, this method helps individuals navigate the unsettling aftermath of professional accomplishments and burnout. The episode emphasizes the importance of reassessing personal values and crafting a resilient identity aligned with one's true purpose. Toby's narrative serves as a motivational guide for listeners seeking to transition through life's pivotal moments with clarity and intention.

Key Takeaways

Achievement and Crisis: Achieving significant professional milestones can sometimes lead to feelings of emptiness and existential crisis.
The Three Rs Framework: Toby proposes a strategic approach for personal and professional comebacks: Reflect, Realign, and Rebuild.
Identity Beyond Titles: Success isn't just about titles or positions but understanding and letting go of past identities tied to them.
Purpose and Clarity: Realigning with core values rather than external validation can reignite passion and purpose.
Continuous Growth: The unraveling of one's identity is not an ending but an opportunity for growth and new beginnings.

Notable Quotes

"The comeback isn't magic, it's method. There's a science to rebuilding when your world goes silent."
"Reflect on what was lost. Not just the job or the title, but the identity behind it."
"Stop chasing applause and start asking better questions. Who am I becoming?"
"Your comeback isn't a matter of luck or timing. It's a matter of strategy, surrender, and showing up one disciplined step at a time."
"Because when you become undone, you realize… you aren't done yet."

Resources

To learn more about Toby Brooks and his work, listeners may want to explore linktr.ee/tobyjbrooks.

Discover more about overcoming professional plateaus and personal growth by tuning into the full episode. Stay tuned for more insightful discussions that promise to inspire and educate on navigating life's pivotal moments.

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121 | Part 10: Celebrating Coach Dick Tomey’s Legacy of Pioneering Athletic Trainers with Magie Lacambra May 21, 2025

Show notes

About the Guest

Magie Lacambra is a trailblazing figure in athletic training, currently serving as the Team Sport Manager for Gatorade and Gatorade Sports Marketing. An accomplished professional, Lacambra began her career in Tucson, Arizona, where she followed in her mentor Sue Hillman's steps, breaking barriers as two of the first female athletic trainers in NCAA Division I football, creating a path for future generations in a field traditionally dominated by men. Her tenure included working closely with legendary coach Dick Tomey at the University of Arizona, where she spearheaded medical care and team support. Magie is recognized for her leadership, resilience, and unwavering dedication to athlete welfare and professional excellence.

Episode Summary

In this enlightening episode of Becoming UnDone, host Toby Brooks engages with Magie Lacambra, a pioneer in the field of athletic training, as they reflect on the legacy of Coach Dick Tomey. The episode delves deep into the dynamics of being one of the first women athletic trainers in Division I football during an era where diversity in sports management was rare. Magie recounts her initial apprehension, the groundbreaking support from Coach Tomey, and the challenges she faced in a predominantly male-dominated setting. Through a genuine conversation, listeners are offered a glimpse of what makes Dick Tomey's philosophy of leadership so impactful and timeless.

As the conversation unfolds, Magie shares inspirational stories of resilience and determination that characterized her journey through the University of Arizona. Emphasizing the intricate balance between athletic training and maintaining athlete well-being, she sheds light on how Coach Tomey's leadership style, which was grounded in integrity and empathy, cultivated a culture of inclusiveness and trust. Through personal insights and heartfelt anecdotes, the episode honors Tomey's enduring legacy, highlighting the importance of caring leadership, his dedication to personal development, and the impact of believing in people to unleash their fullest potential.

Key Takeaways

Breaking Barriers in Athletic Training: Magie Lacambra's path as one of the first female athletic trainers in Division I football underscores the importance of diversity and inclusion in sports.
Leadership through Empathy: Coach Dick Tomey's legacy is marked by a unique blend of care, cultural integration, and holistic player development, setting a standard in leadership.
Resilience and Determination: Despite the challenges posed by the era, Magie's unwavering commitment to her role emphasizes the necessity of resilience in achieving professional success.
Cultural Richness and Inclusion: Tomey's approach to embracing diverse cultures within his teams fostered a sense of unity and family among players and staff.
Legacy of Care and Connection: Dick Tomey's leadership style was characterized by deep personal connections and a genuine belief in nurturing potential, elevating both team and individual accomplishments.

Notable Quotes

"It's fitting that we close this chapter of the series with someone who not only worked beside Coach Tomey but who lived out the very values he championed." - Toby Brooks
"Coach Tomey believed in Magie. She, in return, became the kind of leader who could inspire belief in others." - Toby Brooks
"As difficult as those times were, the memories are amazing." - Magie Lacambra
"He cared a lot, and he showed that every day. And just letting everybody be, and love each other." - Magie Lacambra
"Coach Tomey modeled a different kind of strength, one rooted in care, culture, and in connection." - Toby Brooks

Resources

Follow Toby Brooks on Instagram and LinkedIn:

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

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120 | Part 9: Arizona Football Head Coach Brent Brennan Reflects on Coach Dick Tomey's Lasting Legacy May 02, 2025

Show notes

About the Guest

Brent Brennan is the head football coach of the University of Arizona Wildcats. Previously serving as the head coach at San Jose State Spartans, Brennan's career is marked by notable achievements in college football coaching. With a deep connection to the legacy of Coach Dick Tomey, Brennan has carved a path filled with challenges and accomplishments, maintaining a player-first mentality that honors Tomey's enduring influence. Notably, Brennan has coached at various institutions, including Washington, Arizona, Cal Poly, San Jose State, and others with each stop contributing significantly to his development as a renowned football coach.

Episode Summary

Join host Toby Brooks in an insightful episode of Becoming UnDone®, where he delves into the profound impact of legendary coach Dick Tomey through the experiences of Arizona Wildcats Head Coach, Brent Brennan. This episode doesn't just explore a storied coaching legacy, but a journey of life lessons that shaped Brent's career and personal ethos in coaching young athletes. Gain an understanding of how one man's leadership and love for the game transcended generations, leaving an indelible mark on college football's landscape.

In this engaging installment, discover how Brennan's interactions with Tomey molded his approach at San Jose State and now, the University of Arizona. Keywords such as "leadership," "legacy," "mentorship," and "college football coaching" drive the narrative. Listen as Brennan reflects on pivotal moments with Tomey, emphasizing principles like integrity, connection, and the importance of caring deeply for the development of young players beyond the field. Also explored are the challenges of modern coaching amidst the paradigm shifts in college football, including the impact of the transfer portal and NIL policies.

Key Takeaways

Leadership Through Legacy: Coach Dick Tomey's emphasis on integrity, love, and relationship-building continues to influence current coaching philosophies.
The Coaching Journey: Brent Brennan highlights the invaluable lessons he learned under Tomey, which guide his approach to coaching at the University of Arizona.
Adapting to Change: The episode discusses the modern challenges in college football, such as the transfer portal and how they affect coaching dynamics.
Cultural Appreciation: Explore how Tomey's embrace of Hawaiian and Polynesian culture shaped his coaching career and how Brennan continues that tradition.
Mentorship in Action: Real-life examples illustrate the enduring impact of Tomey’s mentorship in shaping not just football careers but personal lives.

Notable Quotes

"You didn’t have to talk to Coach Tomey for very long to know that he was actually listening." - Brent Brennan
"Coach Tomey's magic was… finding a way to connect and push you to levels that you didn’t think you could get to." - Brent Brennan
"You're either coaching it or you're allowing it to happen." - Dick Tomey's philosophy shared by Brent Brennan
"He built men… modeled what it meant to lead with integrity, to listen deeply, to love fiercely." - Toby Brooks on Coach Tomey's legacy
"I think it’s rare when you think about somebody every day of your life on the job." - Brent Brennan on Coach Tomey’s lasting influence

Resources

Brent Brennan’s LinkedIn: Brent Brennan
University of Arizona Football: Arizona Wildcats Football
Coach Dick Tomey's legacy information: Various online articles and tributes (URLs not explicitly mentioned)

Engage with this compelling episode of Becoming UnDone® to witness how the values instilled by Coach Dick Tomey c

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119 | Part 8: Positive Coaching Alliance’s Rich Tomey Reflects on the Lasting Impact of his Dad, Coach Dick Tomey Apr 04, 2025

Show notes

About the Guest

Rich Tomey is the son of the late Dick Tomey, a revered football coach known for his impactful leadership at institutions such as the University of Hawaii, University of Arizona, and San Jose State University. Rich is a dedicated advocate for character-driven coaching and currently works with the Positive Coaching Alliance, where he continues to build upon his father's legacy by promoting positive and effective coaching techniques. Raised on the sidelines of football fields, Rich has first-hand experience with the impact his father had on many lives both on and off the field.

Episode Summary

In this heartfelt episode of Becoming UnDone®, host Toby Brooks delves into the life and legacy of legendary college football coach Dick Tomey, through the eyes of his son, Rich Tomey. Throughout the episode, Rich vividly recounts memories of his father, revealing both personal anecdotes and professional insights that highlight Coach Tomey’s unique approach to leadership and personal growth. Known for his mantra, "football isn’t complicated; people are," Coach Tomey’s consistent focus on relationship-building and personal development are themes repeatedly echoed by those who knew him best.

The discussion centers around the enduring influence of Dick Tomey's values, particularly the importance of perseverance and the prioritization of people over results. Rich shares how his father’s life lessons have shaped his own career path with the Positive Coaching Alliance, where he strives to instill character and integrity in coaching. The episode also explores Coach Tomey’s career from his early years in Hawaii to his noteworthy achievements at Arizona and San Jose State University, highlighting his commitment to nurturing grit and character in athletes.

Key Takeaways

Coach Dick Tomey was a master of building relationships and personal development, famously saying, "football isn't complicated; people are."
Rich Tomey’s childhood was profoundly shaped by his father's presence and values, emphasizing the importance of love and support in family and coaching alike.
The Positive Coaching Alliance carries forward Coach Tomey’s legacy, promoting character-driven coaching that emphasizes life lessons through sports.
Coach Tomey instilled the belief in perseverance, teaching that adversity reveals one's true character and often serves as a stepping stone to success.
Despite the pressures of the coaching profession, Dick Tomey remained committed to prioritizing the development of his athletes as individuals, valuing people over results.

Notable Quotes

"Football isn't complicated; people are." – Dick Tomey
"He truly loved his team, his guys. Every team was his favorite team." – Rich Tomey
"Anything you want in your life, you can get. You just got to put your mind to it." – Advice from Dick Tomey
"Life is full of adversity, and this is where you find out what you're made of." – Rich Tomey
"He had a real knack for getting the most out of his guys, believing in them, and developing them into better people." – Rich Tomey

Resources

Positive Coaching Alliance
Becoming Undone Podcast
Coach Dick Tomey Legacy Fund and the Positive Coaching Alliance's initiatives in Hawaii, Arizona, and San Jose

Embark on this riveting journey through the life of an exceptional coach and father. Tune in to hear more about the profound impact of Coach Dick Tomey's life lessons and how they continue to resonate. For more engaging stories and leadership insights, be sure to listen to the full episode and stay updated with the Becoming UnDone® series.

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118 | Part 7: Coach Dave Fipp Reflects on Coach Dick Tomey's Enduring Legacy and Leadership Mar 27, 2025

Show notes

About the Guest

Dave Fipp is a highly respected coach in the National Football League (NFL), currently serving as the Special Teams Coordinator for the Detroit Lions since 2021. Before joining the Lions, Fipp contributed his expertise to several NFL teams, including the Philadelphia Eagles, where he played a pivotal role in their 2018 Super Bowl victory, as well as the Miami Dolphins and the San Francisco 49ers. His coaching journey began under the mentorship of the legendary coach Dick Tomey at San Jose State and includes valuable experience as a Graduate Assistant at the University of Arizona. Fipp's career is characterized by his commitment to developing players not only athletically but also personally.

Episode Summary

In this enriching episode of Becoming UnDone®, host Toby Brooks presents a heartfelt exploration of the lessons and legacy of renowned football coach Dick Tomey, examining his profound influence on both the game and his athletes. Throughout the episode, Brooks connects personal anecdotes with insights from his guest, Dave Fipp, creating a vivid portrayal of the enduring impact of a coach who lived by the philosophy of caring deeply for his players.

The conversation delves into Dave Fipp's journey in the world of football, accentuating the transformative role Coach Tomey played in shaping his career. Emphasizing Tomey’s forward-thinking approach, Fipp illustrates how treating players with genuine interest and respect transcends traditional coaching tactics. By doing so, he offers a blueprint for fostering meaningful relationships that contribute to both personal growth and collective team success. This episode not only honors Dick Tomey’s remarkable contributions to football but also offers invaluable lessons on leadership, honesty, and the enduring power of mentorship.

Key Takeaways

Impact of Leadership: Dick Tomey's approach to coaching transcended traditional win-loss metrics, focusing instead on personal development and honesty, which left a lasting impact on his players and colleagues.
Genuine Care: Tomey's philosophy of genuinely caring for players as individuals, not just athletes, was ahead of its time and remains a model for effective coaching and leadership.
Career Path Insights: Insights into Dave Fipp's decision to leave a full-time coaching position for an opportunity to learn under Tomey as a Graduate Assistant, showcasing the value of mentorship in career development.
Relational Coaching: The importance of relationship-building in coaching, highlighted by Fipp's observations on how genuine concern and honesty - "I love you so much, I'm going to tell you the truth" - foster trust and respect.
Legacy and Influence: Dick Tomey's legacy is exemplified through ongoing influence, as seen in his former players and staff who continue to reflect his values across various coaching roles.

Notable Quotes

"What you do speak so loud I can't hear what you say." – Reflecting Tomey’s belief in the power of actions over words.
"He meant that with every player, every coach, every person he was around, it really didn't matter how you got there." – Dave Fipp
"I love you so much, I'm going to tell you the truth." – A signature phrase from Coach Tomey that illustrates his integrity and fondness for his players.
"The number of lives he's changed and the impact he made and the number of people he's made that impact on is incredible." – Dave Fipp, on Tomey's legacy.
"Truth is all anybody wants. As long as you know you're getting it, you can handle either the good or bad news." – Dave Fipp

Resources