Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet

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Comedy
**Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet**

A comedy podcast featuring dramatic readings of one-star reviews written by real people with not-so-real problems. Hosted by siblings Xandy and Christine Schiefer.

Latest Episodes:

412: Reviews of Ant Farms Oct 21, 2026

Show notes

I'm going to bury you with your comrades.

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

411: Reviews of Olive Garden Oct 14, 2026

Show notes

Does your eggplant come with skin?

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Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapy that’s actually covered by insurance. Visit rula.com/beachtoosandy to get started.

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

410: Reviews of Bookstores with Lauren Kilby and Karen Whitehouse Oct 07, 2026

Show notes

I wouldn't ask for underwear if I didn't need the underwear.

Listen to Who Shat on the Floor at my Wedding? And Other Crimes wherever you get your podcasts and visit whoshatontheflooratmywedding.com for more!

For a limited time our listeners are getting a free full sized Mascara on their first purchase when they head to jonesroadbeauty.com and use code BEACHTOOSANDY at checkout.

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

409: Reviews of Coffee Creamers Sep 30, 2026

Show notes

A belly full of white dog turds.

Right now, Fi is offering my listeners up to 30% off and free shipping when you visit fitracking.com and enter promo code BEACH.

“Treat, don’t trick, your teeth this month and go to shopremi.com/beach and use code BEACH at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

408: Reviews of Froyo with Michelle Collins Sep 23, 2026

Show notes

I hate when they put wang in my food.

Follow Michelle on Instagram at @michcoll or @The Michelle Collins Show

We're going on tour! Buy tickets at https://www.beachtoosandy.com/

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

407: Reviews of Deodorant Sep 16, 2026

Show notes

A stained crotch is not the experience we wanted for you.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

406: Reviews of Novelty Ice Sep 09, 2026

Show notes

The Mona Lisa, a dildo, or a pug?

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

405: Reviews of Mini Golf Sep 02, 2026

Show notes

Just a bunch of angry elves.

Support Smoking Werewolf Productions here: https://gofund.me/5766bf50d

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

404: Reviews of Tiki Bars in Hong Kong (Patreon Re-Release) Aug 26, 2026

Show notes

R-r-r-r-remix

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

403: Reviews of The Container Store Aug 19, 2026

Show notes

Anything that contains and can contain is contained within the container.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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