What if the goal of motherhood isn't to finally get everything under control—but to learn how to manage your mind when everything inevitably feels out of control?
In this episode of Badass Basic Bitch, Brianna sits down with Natalie Bacon, mom of three, professionally certified coach, and host of the #1 podcast Mom On Purpose with Natalie Bacon, for a conversation about the mental load of motherhood, overwhelm, frustration, thought work, and what it actually takes to feel better without waiting for your circumstances—or your kids—to change.
Natalie has more than eight years of coaching experience and has worked with over 2,000 moms on their mental, emotional, and physical health. But before becoming a coach and entrepreneur, Natalie was an attorney and certified financial planner with the same high-achieving, overthinking tendencies so many women bring into motherhood.
Then came three boys in three years.
Rather than trying to eliminate the chaos of raising three young children, Natalie began applying brain management and thought work to the way she experienced motherhood. She learned to recognize the thoughts creating frustration, loosen her need for control, and intentionally develop new thought patterns that allowed her to parent with more confidence, connection, and curiosity.
Brianna and Natalie unpack what "thought work" actually means, why practicing it outside of stressful moments matters, and how moms can begin separating what's happening around them from the story their brain is telling them about it.
Natalie also shares how these same tools played a role in another major personal transformation: losing 50 pounds after having her third child. Instead of trying to overhaul everything at once, she focused on one goal at a time and used thought work to change the questions she was asking herself and the identity she was creating.
This isn't about becoming a perfectly calm mom who never gets frustrated. It's about realizing that while you can't control every meltdown, homework battle, sleepless night, or chaotic afternoon, you can build the skills to better manage what happens inside of you when they happen.
In This Episode, We Discuss:
- Natalie's journey from attorney and certified financial planner to coach and entrepreneur
- Becoming a mom to three boys in three years
- Why Natalie shifted her business toward motherhood and mental and emotional health
- The creation of Mom On Purpose
- Why so many moms feel like they're constantly drowning
- The invisible mental load of motherhood
- What brain management actually means
- How thought work can change the way we experience parenting
- Natalie's three-part framework for identifying and managing thoughts
- The connection between thoughts, emotions, and our reactions
- Why high-achieving women can struggle with overthinking and control
- How societal expectations influence the way we think motherhood "should" look
- Why a child's difficult emotions don't mean something has gone wrong
- Applying thought work during meltdowns, homework struggles, and everyday parenting challenges
- Why the most effective thought work often happens outside the stressful moment
- Creating new neural pathways through intentional practice
- How frustration can reveal the expectations we're bringing into a situation
- Why trying to control our children's emotions can increase our own overwhelm
- Using confidence, connection, and curiosity in parenting
- How to identify the thought underneath an uncomfortable emotion
- Why Natalie says not to believe your nighttime thoughts
- Asking your brain better questions instead of allowing it to default to worst-case scenarios
- How thought work helped Natalie transform her relationship with herself
- Natalie's 50-pound weight-loss journey after having her third baby
- Why she focused on one goal instead of changing everything at once
- The power of simplicity when pursuing a health goal
- How our thoughts influence the identity we're creating
- Why validation and self-compassion still matter when you're working to change your thinking
Memorable Quote
“You don't have to control everything around you to change how you experience your life.” — Natalie Bacon
Key Takeaways
Motherhood Doesn't Have to Become Less Chaotic for You to Feel Less Overwhelmed
Three boys in three years means Natalie isn't teaching these tools from a life without noise, messes, big emotions, or competing demands.
Her approach isn't about creating circumstances where nothing stressful happens. It's about developing the mental and emotional skills to respond differently when it does.
That distinction matters because if your peace depends on everyone around you behaving the way you want, you're constantly handing control of your emotional experience to circumstances you can't actually control.
Your Thoughts Aren't Automatically Facts
We experience thoughts so quickly that it's easy to treat them as objective descriptions of reality.
This shouldn't be happening.
He should know how to do this.
I can't handle another thing.
Why is everything so hard?
Thought work creates space between having a thought and automatically believing it.
When you feel frustration building, Natalie encourages becoming curious about what's underneath it: What am I thinking right now?
That awareness gives you the opportunity to decide whether the thought is helping you—or whether you want to practice a different one.
Do the Work Before You Need the Work
Trying to completely change your thinking in the middle of a child's meltdown isn't always realistic.
Natalie emphasizes practicing thought work outside of the moment.
When things are calm, revisit the situation. Identify what happened, what you thought about it, and how those thoughts made you feel. Then consider how you'd like to think about a similar situation in the future.
Practicing ahead of time helps create new mental pathways that become easier to access when the next difficult moment arrives.
Your Child's Frustration Doesn't Have to Become Your Frustration
If your child is upset about homework, having a meltdown, or experiencing disappointment, your instinct may be to make the emotion disappear.
But what if nothing has actually gone wrong?
Natalie encourages moms to become more comfortable allowing their children to experience difficult emotions without immediately interpreting those emotions as a parenting problem that needs to be solved.
Instead of jumping straight into control mode, we can approach our kids with confidence, connection, and curiosity.
Stop Letting Your Brain Ask All the Questions
Our brains are incredibly good at generating questions that lead directly toward anxiety:
What if this doesn't work?
What if I'm doing this wrong?
Why can't I get it together?
Natalie talks about intentionally asking questions that direct your brain toward possibility and solutions instead.
The questions you repeatedly ask yourself influence what your brain looks for—and changing those questions can change what you begin to see.
Don't Believe Everything You Think at Night
Everything can feel significantly worse when you're exhausted.
One of Natalie's practical pieces of advice is simple: don't believe your nighttime thoughts.
If your brain starts spiraling when you're depleted, you don't necessarily need to solve your life at 2 a.m. Recognize the pattern, use tools that help you settle your mind, and revisit the problem when you're rested enough to think more clearly.
One Goal Can Be More Powerful Than Ten
After having her third child, Natalie lost 50 pounds without making exercise the centerpiece of the process or attempting to overhaul every aspect of her life at once.
Instead, she focused on simplicity and pursued one goal at a time.
For high achievers, doing less can feel counterintuitive. We're often tempted to create the perfect workout schedule, eating plan, morning routine, sleep schedule, and wellness strategy simultaneously.
Natalie's experience demonstrates the power of narrowing your focus and allowing consistency to do more of the work.
Thought Work Is Also Identity Work
Thought work isn't simply about replacing "negative" thoughts with positive ones.
It's about becoming intentional about who you're becoming.
How would the version of you who feels confident as a mother think about this situation? What would she make this moment mean? How would she respond to a mistake? How would she speak to herself?
Over time, practicing new thoughts can help create a different relationship with yourself—and a different way of showing up in your life.
A Simple Thought Work Practice for Moms
The next time you notice yourself feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, or out of control, start with awareness instead of immediately trying to fix the feeling.
1. Name the emotion.
What are you actually feeling—frustrated, anxious, resentful, overwhelmed, embarrassed, disappointed?
2. Ask what you're thinking.
What sentence is running through your mind right now?
3. Separate the circumstance from the story.
What objectively happened, and what meaning are you adding to it?
4. Get curious.
Is this the only way to think about what happened?
5. Practice intentionally.
Consider what thought you'd like to build inste
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