Back to Square One

Lessons Learned - Season 1 Finale Jun 01, 2022

After a 2 week hiatus, Derek and Carmen are back but for this season's finale episode. The best friends wrap up this era by looking back at the growth and emotional breakthroughs achieved in the last 21 episodes. Who were they before Back to Square One and how has the podcast changed them? What have they learn from this season's episodes? Derek and Carmen uses this episode to thank each other, their friends and supporters for embarking on this journey with them and they hope to see you all again in Season Two...to be continued.

Some final words... we started this podcast with only an intention to be real with each other and showcase our friendship. Along the way, we've gotten the incredible opportunity to build such a wonderful little community and have had some amazing interactions together. Thank you guys for tuning in and being such great fans and supporters : )

This season was sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ https://www.schedule35.co

Quick Announcement : ) May 18, 2022

We'll see you guys soon in a couple weeks!

Mamma Mia! May 11, 2022

Welcome to Season 2 of Back to Square One! On this episode, Derek and Carmen attempt to feature their mothers as guests on the show. On this Mother's Day Special, Carmen talks about her struggle with body image and mom guilt as she enters the final trimester of pregnancy. Derek and Carmen discuss the underappreciated mother who does it all and the overpraised father who does the bare minimum. Finally, Derek recalls his need to leave home to be away from his unsupporting parents. Are your parents proud of you? What are some of the hardest things you’ve had to deal with in terms of family?

This episode is sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ https://www.schedule35.co

We Rolling 20 Deep... Issa MILESTONE! May 04, 2022

This week, Derek and Carmen wrap up the first 20 episodes dabbling in the MANY recurring topics in the history of Back to Square One. From Derek's situationships and broken upbringing to Carmen's hopes and dreams for her son as she enters into motherhood. In this episode, Derek contemplates the link between his search for and need to show affection and the absence of such affection in his childhood. Carmen and Derek compare Love Languages. Derek stresses his non-desire to have kids. Carmen and Derek discuss the future of Back to Square One with a special collaboration announcement at the end.

This episode is sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ https://www.schedule35.co

Expired Relationships, Communication, and Straddling Between Realities Apr 27, 2022

Welcome Back. What do you do when you know a relationship has expired but your heart just won't let go? What happens when you have a tendency to overthink but also have an inability to open up? I'm unhappy and struggling but, who will listen? This week Derek and Carmen dissect their friend's relationship woes. Carmen shares her identity crisis as she transitions into the new world of motherhood. Derek shares his recent hypotheses and therapeutic break-throughs. Am I truly happy and what happens when you get really good at faking it?

This episode is sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ https://www.schedule35.co

Looking for Love... Everything. Everywhere. Apr 20, 2022

Welcome back! It's been an eventful week for our Back to Square One hosts. While Carmen was recovering from COVID, Derek was on a mission to find the love of his life with help from the TikTok and Aritzia community. Derek updates us on the interesting events that transpired on his most recent dates. Derek and Carmen dissect Everything, Everywhere, All at Once (SPOILER ALERT!), a film that explores generational trauma and unconditional love while exploring sci-fi multiverses and parallel timelines, all in a comical and heartfelt way. You just gotta watch it to understand.

** This episode is sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ https://www.schedule35.co **

City Livin' or Suburban Chillin'? Apr 13, 2022

This week on Back to Square One, Derek and Carmen talk about all things Downtown Toronto. Derek shares his recent encounter with some strange characters at a downtown McDonald's. While Derek reveals how moving downtown changed his life and his intentions to remain in the city, Carmen chats about her experience living downtown in her early 20's and why she chose to leave and move to the suburbs. What's the one major move that changed your life trajectory? What's your favourite big city memory? Derek uses this episode as an opportunity to reach out to the love of his life. The episode ends with the two discussing the rare moments that friends cross paths as you get older and the importance of ensuring these memories are not forgotten.

** This episode is sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ https://www.schedule35.co **

Shootin' The Sh*t Apr 06, 2022

While Eden has been away on a 2 week bachelor and work trip, Carmen shares the fears and insecurities that crept up during her time home alone. Carmen reflects on her childhood and the difficulties her mom must have endured raising them without the help of her dad. Derek and Carmen discuss long-distance relationships and what couples must do to make it work. Derek talks about his fears of having to live with someone after so many years of solitude. The two discuss what happens when you get too comfortable in a relationship? How do you keep the spark alive? Carmen discusses the obstacles that she thinks she and Eden may encounter after becoming parents before sharing tips to male listeners on how to be prepared for future fatherhood.

** This episode is sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ https://www.schedule35.co **

A Murder in Vancouver... is Love Truly Blind?... and Life Updates Mar 30, 2022

This week on Back to Square One, Carmen talks about her recent trip to Vancouver where her and her friends witnessed a "murder". Derek and Carmen go on to discuss Netflix's popular reality show, Love is Blind. Is love truly blind? How important is emotional connection? Physical connection? The two discuss the importance having good role models of love early in life. Carmen wonders how the absence of her dad affected her perception of love and expectations in relationships. Derek finally updates us on the family dinner he had with his parents and brother after Yolo's death. At the end of this week's episode, Derek reveals his plans to move to California and Carmen contemplates the effect Derek's move will have on their friendship.

** This episode is sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ https://www.schedule35.co **

Are We The Toxic Ones?? Mar 23, 2022

Are you toxic? How do you know if you're in a toxic relationship? If so, how do you get out of one? This week on Back to Square One, Derek and Carmen discuss the 25 toxic traits from Dr. Erin Eatough's article "Too Toxic! How to spot the traits in yourself and others". From lack of empathy for others to self-centredness and from being quick to anger to avoiding conflict, Carmen and Derek discuss the various traits to spot for in a toxic partner. What is "Gaslighting" exactly and how do you work on becoming self-aware of your own toxicity? Listen to this week's episode to find out!

** This episode is sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ https://www.schedule35.co **

Life & Death... and Everything In-Between Mar 16, 2022

After an extremely heavy episode last week, Derek organizes his thoughts and sits down with Carmen this week to talk about the steps he's taken to actively move on from his childhood trauma. Carmen and Derek share the ways in which they deal with their depressions and problems. They introduce their discord channel to everyone who feels alone and who are in search of a safe and supportive community to share their problems. Carmen and Derek share their thoughts on death, dying, life after death and dealing with grief. What happens after death? If you knew that your death was impending, would you be ready to go? In contrast, Carmen and Derek end off the episode exploring life, the unborn and hopes for the future as Carmen becomes a mother and Derek becomes a funcle.

** This episode is sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ https://www.schedule35.co **

You Only Live Once Mar 09, 2022

This episode is dedicated to Yolo, Derek's Labrador Retriever & Border Collie mix who passed in January the night of recording episode 11. Derek shares the events leading up to and following the heartbreaking news of Yolo's passing. Derek and Carmen recall earlier memories of Yolo and Derek speaks on what he has learned from being a dog owner. Despite undergoing the shared sorrow of Yolo's passing, Derek realizes the extent of the bond he shares with his family.

What are some surprising things you've learned if you've ever owned or raised a pet?

What's an effective mindset that can help you move on from trauma?

** This episode is also sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ https://www.schedule35.co **

We Talk Dating... Advice, Fails, and Everything In-Between Mar 02, 2022

This week, Derek and Carmen share unsolicited dating tips and advice! They go over what they find attractive in the opposite sex and tricks on how to make yourself feel and look more confident. Derek and Carmen dive into what they learned from their own dating experiences and things they wish they had done differently in their previous relationships.

If you could go back in time, what would you tell your younger self when it comes to dating advice? When not dating, how do you find comfort in being alone?

**This episode is also sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ www.schedule35.co **

The Source of Ambition... and the Truth Behind Teeth? Feb 23, 2022

Welcome back! In episode 10, Derek and Carmen talk origin stories. Derek shares the details of how he pursued a less traditional career path - from music engineering and wedding photography to talent management and now, creating Schedule35. Derek discusses the “extra credits” theory which he believes to be the reason behind his risk-taking endeavours. Carmen shares how she stumbled into the misunderstood world of Dentistry. She reveals the uncommonly known reasons why Dentists are among those who are known to have the highest suicidal tendencies. The episode ends off with a little light-hearted fashion talk when Carmen compliments Derek's ever so elegant fashion sense.

Some key questions for this week's discussion in our community Discord:

“What is the source of your drive and ambition?”

"Do you prioritize fear of safety or fear of regret?"

This episode is also sponsored by MANSCAPED! Thanks for tuning in all these weeks and making this possible for us. We've personally used MANSCAPED products for a few years now and loved that they reached out to us. If you're looking for the best in men's below-the-belt grooming, check them out.

For all my fellas!! Use code "BacktoSQ1" for 20% off and free shipping at www.manscaped.com. The ladies will thank you ;)

** This episode is also sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ www.schedule35.co **

Looking Through the Hourglass Feb 16, 2022

This week, Derek and Carmen go back in time and recount their earliest childhood memories. Derek tells the story of when someone stole his beloved red ball while living in government housing and growing up being terrified of his dad's explosive temper. Carmen describes an embarrassing memory of shopping with her mom and her first encounter with law enforcement at the tender age of six. Derek and Carmen describe their parents' relationships from their perspectives. Derek talks about the one time he thought his mom was finally going to leave her loveless marriage and Carmen discusses the effects her dad's absence had on her childhood. The episode ends with Carmen and Derek realizing an appreciation for their friendship despite the obvious differences in their family dynamics and the paths they have chosen in life.

Some key questions for this week's discussion in our community Discord:

“How well do you think your parents know you?”

"As you get older, do the actions of your parents make more sense?"

** This episode is also sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ www.schedule35.co **

What is Chemistry?? Feb 09, 2022

Welcome back to another episode! This week on Back to Square One, Derek and Carmen talk all things chemistry. What is chemistry? How do you know when you have it with someone? Who do you wish you had chemistry with but don't? Is it more common to have chemistry with people who are of the same ethnicity because of similar upbringings and cultural understanding? Derek and Carmen go into the chemistry that exists between them and explore the chemistry that exists between them and other friends in their shared friend's circle.

** This episode is also sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ www.schedule35.co **

The Rules of Engagement Feb 02, 2022

This week, Derek and Carmen reacts to the TikTok comments of their two most controversial posts from episode 1. Can guy + girl best friends be truly platonic without exploring all doors? Why is it hard to keep people we vibe with in our lives despite things not working out romantically? Carmen discusses her insecurity of sharing her life with the world and dealing with negative comments. Derek and Carmen ponders whether they could still be friends with their exes, whether the "it" factor exists or not in relationships or whether they can develop over time, allowing friends to dig their way out of the friendzone. The episode ends with some sound advice from Carmen's mom on the most important thing to look for in a relationship.

WE ALSO JUST LAUNCHED... our Discord community! Join us in discussion and connecting with others : )

** This episode is also sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ www.schedule35.co **

*GASP* The Big News Jan 26, 2022

Carmen shares HUGE news! She's pregnant! Carmen retraces the emotional roller coaster of trying to conceive and her first thoughts after finding out. Derek is educated on the insecurities and rush that women suffer and feel, thanks to the ticking female biological clock and fertility concerns associated with age. Carmen gets emotional describing the devotion and passion she has to becoming the best mother she could be but also her fears of the inevitable change that a baby will have on her life. Uncle Derek talks about his reaction after hearing about the news and his future hopes for baby C.

** This episode is also sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ www.schedule35.co **

A Story of Siblings Jan 19, 2022

Welcome back! After last week's episode, where Derek reflects on his childhood and upbringing, he decides to reach out to his younger brother after a 6-year hiatus. Derek describes the reunion and confirms his previous assumptions about his family dynamics after talking with his brother. Carmen illustrates the relationship she had with her younger sister and the burdened role of being the older sibling growing up. The two debate the advantages of growing up with a sibling, while examining the benefits of being an only child.

PS. We're only 5 episodes in but we've both been absolutely blown away by the positive reception. We never thought the personal conversations we've been having together as best friends for so many years held so much relatability for so many others. It's so heartwarming to see and learn that none of us are ever really alone in the things we experience and the things we feel. Thank you. Truly. For sharing with your friends, leaving honest and vulnerable comments & messages, we're so excited to continue on this journey together : )

** This episode is also sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ www.schedule35.co **

A Broken Beginning Jan 12, 2022

In this episode, Derek shares the intimate memories of his broken childhood and reflects on the family dynamics that made him who he is today. Derek admits his fear of commitment, his struggles with intimacy, and relationships overall as a result of the conditioning and lack of family and togetherness in his life.

** This episode is also sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ www.schedule35.co **

Happily Ever After... Jan 05, 2022

Welcome back! Carmen and Derek dig deep and retrace the steps on Carmen's journey with her husband, Eden. From long-time friends to now, life partners.

Carmen describes the ups and downs of the marriage to date by answering a series of hard questions posed by a curious Derek. Carmen talks about what really matters in marriage. They also discuss what almost broke her marriage, what saved it, and what her and her husband have learned so far through individual and couples therapy.

** This episode is also sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ www.schedule35.co **

Change is The Only Constant Dec 29, 2021

In this episode, Derek and Carmen discuss the past, present and future of their friendship. Derek recounts moments in their friendship that made it difficult to remain close and discuss how friendships change when your bestie is dating one of your closest buddies. They talk about how the pandemic dug up past traumas and brought people closer together while tearing other relationships apart. Carmen confesses how all her friends having babies have changed her relationship with them and what the future has in store for her friendship with Derek as she plans to have a baby of her own in the near future.

** This episode is also sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ www.schedule35.co **

Opposite-sex BFF's, whaaat? A walk down memory lane of our origin story. Dec 21, 2021

Welcome to episode one of Back to Square One! Best Friends, Derek and Carmen take a walk down memory lane and revisit how they met and life growing up in the suburbs. Join them as they sit down and dissect whether opposite-sex besties can be 100% platonic and if so, how?

Carmen plans a big Christmas Party and Derek questions the guestlist as they argue whether invites should be based on history or relevance and discuss the drawbacks and benefits of being a part of a large, cliquey and asian friend circle.

** This episode is also sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ www.schedule35.co **

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