Poetry, baseball mice, fights, mouth abrasion, EPL, lockdown Roy, and Dyche.

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Lockdown Gary, a pottery TV show, chitty chatty and big talk, Mark has a visitor, and stolen tyres.

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Some bits from Athletico Parsnips 3 & 4… a message from Peter, visit pop-up Slaughters, Henderson, McClaren, a trip to Talksport, and a rundown from Lawro…

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Here's over an hour of Bob's beautiful, tender, and death-filled Scottish tales for you...

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A new kettle, some poetry and monkey talk, Pearson does Taken, Bob gets chitty chatty, Casper gets musical and Roy reports from his garage.

(Thanks to Club Parsnips members for agreeing to let us make this one 'public' early during the Covid-19 crisis)

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Isolation poetry, baths, pre-lockdown meat feasting, Peter’s shop visit, Lawro’s online PE session, and lots more.

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We hear from our spy in Dubai, there’s a nonsense potter stand-off, Homeowner, Omsk, a quiz and more…

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A lip-smacking compilation of Alderman stories from the early years of Athletico Mince.

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He’s not Train Guy… or is he? Judge for yourself – here’s the best of Barry Homeowner from episodes 42 to 68…

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Some bits from the first two Athletico Parsnips episodes from last year. Beardsley, big paella, Scottish tale, recycling, Slaughters, Barry and more.

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A new Phil Jones trailer, an Argos encounter, some threats, a trip to the doctors and legal issues for the Beardsleys. Oh, and two fridges.

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A compilation of Bob’s South Africa stories from episode 38 to 56…

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A compilation of Peter Beardsley submissions from episodes 50 to 63. Dog dirt.

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Steve and his pals go out for a carvery, Jez finds a new job, we report from Leeds, and hear about the Beardsley’s wedding day.

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Penguin news, a unident, Crime Files, a Scottish tale, Martin visits Klopp, and the mangos return...

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Fun Bus; Nut Job; Get Up On The Moon; Up Into The Business Sky; Slender People; Sex Robots; Dyche Motivation WAV; Come To Sunderland; Keeping Fit; Steve Picks The Team; Klopp Hop; Two Large Mangos; Mick's Song; Mid-Head Oxbow; Fake Tan; Oh Mister Fernandes; Sunderland Girl; I’d Give It Ten Minutes; Bread Song; Supermarket Song; Drones

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Adrian samples the Slaughters Christmas menu, Neil Hunt fends off two more customers, there’s WAVs from Dyche, Lawrenson and Omsk, Santa pops in, and we hear a festive Scottish tale.

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Christmas with the Beardsleys, a message from Barry, some relaxing sound therapy, Bob’s yuletide Sunderland song and more...

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Fresh news from the Gangs of the EPL, a Managers Lunch Club meeting, the Guru gets festive, Andy gets booted into his own car, and we receive two brand new WAVs

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Phil Jones unveils his Nutflix trailer, Martin Roberts drops in on a celebrity, Vince Parsnips returns and The Beardsleys get a visitor.

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We acquire a WAV from Jurgen Klopp, Neil Hunt faces another pottery foe, there’s trouble for the White Harts, plus Guru, cheese, poetry, petrol and more.

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Back in June, we were interviewed by Steve Hill for Four Four Two magazine. Here’s the audio of the interview.

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Steve and Casper visit a nonsense pottery shop, Bob goes to Slaughters, the Guru returns, there’s a quiz, Dyche guests on TalkSport, and more…

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Peter Beardsley returns, Neil Hunt faces a pie-eating adversary, and there’s some singing, some quizzing, and a magical gold card…

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Unidents, Talksport, quizzing, corned beef on Teesside, and Neil Hunt meets the White Harts…

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A look back at Deadline Day on Talksport, Roy pops in, Dom Littlewood scours Teesside, Neil Hunt faces an evil darts foe, plus Jordan, Dyche and a new hoover…

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A brand new Crime File, a message from Peter, a meat quiz, Lawro’s top ten, an update from Barry, the return of a very nasty character, and lots more.

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Steve and Casper enjoy a day out, Roy pops in, and Martin visits another footballer. Plus ants, buffets, a new Crime File and more…

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The British Managers’ Lunch Club have another meeting, Andy loses his finger cymbals, Sean Dyche motivates us all further, Roy pleads for cash, and the main men from the EPL are on holiday together…

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Peter makes a hospital visit, Mark invites Steve round, we discuss biscuit etiquette, Roy launches a new game, Dyche motivates, and there’s new Crime Files…

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All-new Crime Files, a trip to Slaughters, a pet quiz, an old friend returns, and lots lots more…

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Bob’s ray gun repair update, a trip to Slaughter’s, visits from Roy and Mick, a song from Steve, and the introduction of ‘Crime Files’…

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Jordan Henderson’s home explored, Jez in the gym, Peter has a good stare, the White Harts’ half time team-talk and the British Managers Lunch Club's end-of-season awards….

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Ian Holloway confronts Steve, Roy reveals his other obsession, there’s an electrical retail quiz, some train poetry and we explore Sean Dyche’s home.

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Peter takes his wife out, Bananarama do egg-rolling, Roy takes on Susanna Reid, Bob visits Slaughter’s and we get an update from Barry…

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Steve says goodbye to QPR, Bob does another stupid quiz, Paul Scholes buys a house and we meet England’s Senior Six…

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An all-inclusive holiday probe, another visit to Slaughter’s and the story of how Peter and his wife first met…

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We meet the Slaughter restaurant chef, Bob goes to Majorca, there’s updates from Roy and Peter and an old friend returns…

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Bob brings his honker along, Adrian takes a friend to the Slaughterhouse, Barry signs up to Linkedin, there’s a Scottish tale and visit from Roy…

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Mark visits Peter, Roy sends in a stick, Adrian goes to a meat festival, and there's visits from Barry and the Guru...

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Another one-off quiz from Bob, bath levels, Jordan Henderson returns with a song, Roy pops in, and there's more from the White Harts, Dom and Joe Swash...

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Buttresses, bikes, Beardsley, visits from Roy and Mick, and Bob's favourite Christmas present...

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Merry Christmas from Bob and Andy… and also Beardsley, Corbyn, Homeowner, Hodgson, Littlewood, British Gas and everyone else!

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The British Managers' Lunch Club Christmas meeting, more Warhammer chat from Roy, a message from Harry Kane, plus The Guru and a Beardsley update...

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Roy Hodgson pops in for a chat, there’s a fish quiz, updates from Beardsley, the guru and Homeowner, a Scottish song and lots more…

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Some nice stuff from the middle of 2017. The White Harts go on holiday, there’s some number awareness, the Barry/Landlord split, a bit of Vince, a bit of Morrissey, South Africa and a poignant duet…

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As Bob recovers from a mild riverbank pratfall, here's yet another selection of some of our favourite bits from the past. D'yer remember, etc etc etc...

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Bob’s still off fishing so here’s some nice bits from episodes 26-35… including Lawro, McClaren, Secret Soccer Superstar, the Alderman, a Scottish tale and more...

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Some nice bits from episodes 16-25, including Steve's mercy dash with Casper, Mark's short-lived pest control career, and an encounter with Corbyn that ends in heartache for Bob...

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While Bob’s away fishing, we thought we’d put out a compilation of some of our favourite bits from the earliest episodes of the podcast. This one includes jambon, Susanna Hoffs, the reverse toiletand a brief mention of a now-much-loved character…

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Jordan Henderson gives us a song, the guru drops in again, we enjoy a bread quiz and Peter Beardsley meets Nick Knowles.

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Steve McClaren’s QPR destroy and exit takes shape, Debbie Ali’s new eye thing is explained, a guru drops in, there’s a Barry Homeowner update and some more Fake or Legit…

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Due to overwhelming demand, it's the GARDEN CENTRE SPECIAL, with horticultural retail input from Mince regulars – and Bob bravely recalls a chilling encounter in Homebase…

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It’s a welcome return for the landlord AND Barry Homeowner, Mick McCarthy brings his dog in, we find out what’s inside the drawer, Andy tries to find out more about the showbiz centre while Bob teaches him some Beardsley…

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Including a revolutionary, world-changing pan-based business idea, Corbyn raining on Andy’s multi-wash and Peter Beardsley, the Alderman and a psychotic South African chef all convening at the same function.

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Bob's vacuuming heartache, a look back at happier times for the England squad, Mark Lawrenson reports from Russia, and we hear from Peter Beardsley and Dominic Littlewood as well as some other stuff and that.

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Mark Lawrenson reports from Russia, Peter Beardsley provides a life update, there's drama from the England World Cup camp and Andy sings about artisan bread. Oh, and there's a nut quiz, obviously.

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Ruminations on carvery portions and hair transplants, some observational comedy from Mick McCarthy, more revelations from England's World Cup camp and a return to management for Steve McClaren...

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Some insight into the pumice stone, an update from Peter Beardsley, a report from England's training camp, more Fake Or Legit, what happens when you touch an electric bear, and loads more...

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A Manchester gang showdown, some hot pudding chat, Andy's encounter with a bearded man at a petrol station, and Mick McCarthy joins us with a song...

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Whistles, Steve Wright’s boot, Beardsley, eggs, BT, TV chat and Adam Lilliana visits South Africa.

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Mick McCarthy joins us again, Bob gets beaten up off a child in Leeds, Barry Homeowner pops in, there’s an update from Peter Beardsley, some pie availability chat and Dom Littlewood is back with an expanded Who’s The Prick…

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We meet Mick McCarthy, receive a new message from Peter Beardsley, wonder about Squeeze and their junction, hear from Harry Kane, endure Andy's catchphrase comedy, return to the world of Mark Lawrenson and enjoy another song about Sunderland... as well as some other stuff

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An update from Peter, an interview with Barry, another trip to South Africa, a couple of songs, Acker Bilk's hat, an international EPL trip and some other stuff...

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Another trip to the British Manager's Club, a Sunderland Tourist Board anthem, Dom Littlewood's highly acclaimed 'Who's The Prick?' game, Acker Bilk, a two-stroke ambulance, Peter Beardsley, a Scottish tale and more of the usual stuff.

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German shampoo, vending machines, Harry Kane goes up against the Klopp Tops, Dom Littlewood hosts a brand new quiz, an update from Peter Beardsley and loads more...

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A big meeting of the Gangs of the EPL, more Fake or Legit, Peter Beardsley reacts to recent events and loads more...

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We've got car-scrapping chat, a look in on the British Managers Club, Lenny Biscuits visits Argos, Barry Homeowner sings his CV and there's an update from Peter Beardsley…

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Loads of stuff in this comeback episode - EPL, Fake or Legit, South Africa, Alderman, Lenny Biscuits and more, more, more...

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This episode was almost destroyed by microphone-knack during its recording and only exists thanks to the painstaking sound restoration work of Guy Rowland. If you encounter him in real life, give him a little kiss from us. Or thank him on Twitter at @guyrowlanduk.

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The White Harts head to the Toon, Barry Homeowner sings for us, Bob has another frustrating cinema visit and some other stuff happens.

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An upsetting cinema visit, a kidnap, the kiss of life, some chocolate bar bother, the return of Vince Parsnips and much more...

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Lawro and Morrissey team up with a new business, the Liverpool gang share some grooming tips, the Secret Soccer Superstar returns and Bob spies on Pierce Morgan again...

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More EPL holiday fun, Pierce Morgan meets Alan Brazil on a train, Bob has another crack at the South African tale, and we end with a beautiful duet...

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We're BACK with a bumper hour-long episode - and there's more stuff in it than we could possibly list here. Enjoy...

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Bob talks about dining with superstars, there's a Man United gang update, Barry Homeowner calls round, and Andy tries to get Bob to invest in a chesty health product.

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Updates from Steve and Casper, the Boro gang, Barry Homeowner and much, much more...

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Fresh tales of the Alderman and the Man United gang, a flurry of songs, and more from Barry Homeowner.

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A new episode of Vince Parsnips' observational sitcom, another trip to South Africa, some TV show ideas, and a marital crisis for Lawro.

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More from the unruly mangos, the Boro gang arrive, the Secret Soccer Superstar returns, and there's an exciting announcement...

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More Manchester United gang activity, Christmas tree cage fighting, an agnostic ballad and another run-in with a South African maniac...

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Fake news, a shoulder injury origin story, some robot war, and the end of the road for a much-loved character...

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The second half of our Christmas offering, with Steve & Casper, the Alderman, Corbyn, some tit and heart chat, and ambitions for 2017.

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Here's a collection of the very best songs from 2016's episodes. 24 hot hits - everything from Little Mouse to the Scottish dirges. Merry Christmas from Bob and Andy!

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The first half of our Christmas offering, with Lawro & Robson, Gangs of the EPL, observational comedy, the Secret Soccer Superstar and a Scottish song. Part two... soon...

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Supermarket dash chat, Lawro’s embarrassing ants, more EPL gang action and a tale of marital woe from a remote Scottish island.

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McClaren meets up with the fat lass, an observational sitcom is launched and there's a shocking turn of events on the Spurs gang scene.

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Jezza and Bill do some colouring-in, there’s a Gangs of the EPL update and Bob gets a sexy visitor.

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A restaurant run-in with Corbyn, Bob goes up the Arsenal, we find out what’s the best chop, and there’s a brand new Scottish song too.

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A Casper kidnap update, Corbyn’s Chadwick boasts, Bob’s latest showdown with the Spurs gangs, and skips for teens.

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Lawro's dinner party goes with a bang, the Spurs squad gang culture, a new Greg(g) Wallace song and Steve McClaren's brand new nemesis.

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A couple of new catchphrases, Robson & Lawro try to get to close to Rafa again, tit crickets and some escalator memories.

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A trip to Penrith with Lawro and Robson, drama at Steve’s house and we meet the Secret Soccer Superstar.

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Mark Lawrenson and Robson Greene go fishing, pasta comedy, Madcap Crazy Wacky Willy Club and a Casper update.

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Mark Lawrenson’s pest control exploits, some carvery analysis, the latest Casper news and a strange visit to a Jeremy Corbyn rally…

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A Casper update, some pocket money chat, a racist ping pong ball act and a preview of a Gregg Wallace musical.

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An encounter with Jeremy Corbyn, funeral-based homoeroticism and elephant-racing in this week’s episode of the UK’s top gas-powered podcast.

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Bob and Andy compare the weight of their chadwicks, there's a report from a charity football match, some mild caravan chat and we learn about the 'half rush'.

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A £21m bell, Steve McClaren's special visitor, chadwick-weighing and a revelation about Bob's ice rink.

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Bob and Andy answer listeners' consumer queries, plus air-fryer sock-drying, Steve McClaren goes on holiday and the Alderman has a kissing rival.

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Bob and Andy forensically study each other's shopping lists, the Alderman takes Bob for a ride and there's more observational comedy.

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The Alderman gets a new belt, Andy gets some dubious legal advice, Steve and Roy are on the decks and there's some red hot grouting chat.

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McClaren and Hodgson’s beans on toast supper, a mink onesie, a game of London Tig and an upbeat party song.

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More observation comedy, the snake goes to the supermarket, ladder chat and poorly slave disposal.

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Observation comedy from Bob’s Marseille hotel room, McClaren’s sunbathing woes, a charity do with the Alderman and loads and loads and loads of ham.

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Jamie Vardy’s massive piggy bank, a Tabitha Huntley Mystery teaser, Steve McClaren's night out at the theatre and more revelations about Bob’s relationship with the dirty alderman.

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Reaction to Top Gear, a canned chicken, a song that isn’t even new, socks, and some genuine listener feedback.

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Knacking, a horse-related low, Robbie Savage’s home interiors and the horrors of blind servant abuse.

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Kitchen tap tips, Steve McClaren’s snake, autopsy etiquette, a recipe, and a song about ‘Yellow Sticker Hour’ up the Asda.

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Fishing with a slipper, memory foam, Leicester, Bob's servant confession and a song about Didier Drogba.

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Steve McClaren’s birthday, a ruthless assessment of Chris Evans, a story about when Bob got shot and another song.

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Heart tips, drinking Dolmio in the cinema, Steve McClaren’s nasal hair, Andy’s fungalow, Bob’s millionaire lifestyle and a lovely song about a bird.

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Slightly shorter than usual, an episode recorded next to Bob's water feature and definitely not done on Facetime or anything.

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Bob’s new shoes, stolen Frosties, Louis van Gaal’s sanity, beanies, Leighton Baines’ shorts swap and a free transfer to Geordie Shore.

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Fun camping games, Janet Jackson, dry rising outlets, custard-filled balls, and a minimum of 8% football.

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Lifting up celebrities, mints, footballers’ houses, and some domestic appliance purchase advice.

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Foam products, ocelots, a catchphrase origin tale, the Gambian D-League, but mainly chickens. Chickens.

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A lavatory revolution, denim, memorabilia, tractors (again) and much more...

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Gentle managers, unofficial tractors, cheap lobster and black dogs are covered in the first episode of this football podcast with Bob Mortimer and Andy Dawson. Bob and Andy suggest you probably start on episode 8, once they'd got the hang of this podcast thing.

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