At Peace Parents Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Ep. 25 - Reframing Progress as a Parent of a PDA Child or Teen Jun 06, 2023

Show notes

This episode is an excerpt from the "Progress with PDA" workshop and is a way of looking at progress, even when you feel your most stuck as a parent.
This perspective is the "yin" side to the "yang" of tracking data and indicators of progress that you observe of your PDA child or teen as they move out of burnout and towards more well-being.
I hope the episode serves you.

To connect with me, find me here:
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For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.
For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC
Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.
xoxo,
Casey

Ep. 24 - Finding *your* unique PDA child or Teen's Edge. May 23, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, I answer the question: "What do I do when my PDA child or teen really wants to do something - see friends, play a sport, engage in an activity - but there is a big fallout afterwards?"

Ep. 23 - Sticker Charts and Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) Apr 25, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, Casey shares the logic behind why sticker charts, laminated schedules, strict routines, and many of the supports used with children who have social communication differences and executive functioning differences actually backfire with PDA kids and young adults.

Ep. 22 - Timelines, Pre-PDA Awareness, and My Son's Burnout Apr 20, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, Casey shares her story from the perspective of a parent as she experienced the time leading up to her son's burnout (3.5 years old), her son's burnout (5.5 years old), and the current moment (8.5 years old).
She ends with a spiritual insight from Buddhism about not shooting oneself with the "second arrow" when things are hard.

Ep. 21 - Marriage and Co-Parenting with a PDA Child or Teen Apr 06, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, I share an excerpt from the Paradigm Shift Program session that focused on Marriage, Co-Parenting, and Communication dynamics while raising a Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA) child or teen. I share my personal story, how raising a PDA child has impacted my marriage and share one fundamental insight about being the "lead" parent vs. the parent who is doing less of the caregiving.

This is a great episode to listen to with your partner to help you get on the same page and realize you are not alone in navigating these dynamics!

Citations:

Understanding Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndrome in Children

The Tilt Parenting Podcast Episode with Harry Thompson (Episode 109) has been removed from the website because of allegations against Harry, so I can't link to it as a citation.

Atlantic Article "Why Women Still Can't Have it All" - the concept of "lead parenting" is named in the writing.

To connect with me, find me here:

For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.

For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC

Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.

xoxo,

Casey

Ep. 20 - Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) vs. Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) Mar 27, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, I outline the ways in which the description of Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) in the Diagnostic Statistical Manual (DSM)-5 overlaps with some of the surface-level indicators of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) or "Pervasive Drive for Autonomy."
Although there are many things that look the same on the surface, if we dig deeper to discover the root cause of your child's behavior, you may realize that Oppositional Defiant Disorder isn't really an explanatory diagnostic category, while Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is.
I also outline the five things that an Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) diagnosis doesn't explain:

Internalized expressions of PDA (e.g. freeze/fawn)
Trouble accessing basic needs (e.g. toileting indepedently, safety, eating, sleeping, or hygiene)
Sensory Differences
Social Communication Differences
Need for constant undivided attention/coregulation

Citations:
"High Masking" term by Rachel Dorsey, Autistic SLP
TILT Parenting Podcast Reference: Episode 154: Dr. Mona Delahooke on Looking Beyond Children's Challenging Behavior
Beyond Behaviors by Mona Delahooke
Body-Brain Parenting by Mona Delahooke

Ep. 19 - Identity: Yours, Your Child's, and Mine Mar 16, 2023

Show notes

In this episode we explore identifying with a particular neurotype - whether it is Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA), Autistic, Neurotypical, ADHD, or none at all- and the choices we have for ourselves and for our children.
At the core, we discuss how autonomy is incorporated into the process of your child choosing an identity, and separating that from medical diagnosis and the nervous system mechanisms that lead to fight/flight/freeze.
Hope you enjoy!

Ep. 18 - Why is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) so Hard to Understand? - Part II Mar 08, 2023

Show notes

Why is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) so hard to understand as a parent and for therapists, pediatricians, teachers, and people looking in on your child's life?
In this episode, I answer the following questions:

How do I know whether it is "defiance" or typical kid behavior or Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)?
How do I know whether it is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD), or ADHD?
Can a PDA child appear totally typical at school or with a grandparent, but not at home?
What if my child is not "explosive" - can they still be pathologically demand avoidant? (PDA)

Citation:
"Beyond Behaviors: Using Compassion and Brain Science to Understand and Solve Children's Challenging Behaviors" by Dr. Mona Delahooke

Ep. 17 - Why is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) so Confusing? - Part I Mar 06, 2023

Show notes

My child doesn't seem Autistic, can they still be Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA)?
My child seems typical some of the time, can they still be Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA)?

Citations:
Term "High Masking" from Rachel Dosey, Autistic SLP
"Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity" by Andrew Solomon.

Ep. 16 - Toileting and Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) Feb 15, 2023

Show notes

In this episode on Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) and Toileting, we discuss the impact that cumulative nervous system stress has on toileting, through two mechanisms:

The nervous system's fight/flight or freeze response and how it impacts the metabolism, cortisol, and adrenaline, all of which impact digestion and toileting, and
"Control coalescing" around toileting as a way to get back to a place of perceived safety.

The episode concludes with some practical parenting advice on how to get unstuck from a PDA or demand avoidant child who refuses to potty train or who has had a toileting "regression" after being potty trained.

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