Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting - Dr. Lisa Damour/Good Trouble Productions

147: Girls Are Harassing My Son. What Should I Do? Dec 05, 2023

Getting a lot of attention from girls might not seem like a problem. But a mother writes in asking Dr. Lisa for advice on how to deal with the fact that girls are fawning over her son who wants no part of it. He feels embarrassed by the attention and finds that ignoring it only seems to be making the situation worse. The boy’s father worries that his son might develop a reputation for being the “mean kid” for not acknowledging or responding to the girls’ incessant overtures. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss what the boy should do, consider how to define and handle harassment, and address whether the situation would be different if the gender roles were reversed. The episode highlights several conversations that all parents should be having with their teens sooner rather than later.

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146: What's the Best Way to Help a Kid with ADHD? Nov 28, 2023

Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle the nuances of ADHD: what to look for, when to be concerned, and the overlap between ADHD and executive functioning challenges. Dr. Lisa unpacks how, ideally, an ADHD diagnosis is made and the treatment options for kids and teenagers who receive the diagnosis. The conversation also answers some key questions about when medication should be considered, whether taking medication for ADHD increases the risks of misusing substances, and whether a medication trial can be used to confirm an ADHD diagnosis.

The American Academy of Pediatrics: ADHD

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145: Encore: My Kids Lose it When They Make Sports Mistakes. How Can I Help? Nov 21, 2023

Sports is not just about the final score. It’s an opportunity for kids to grow, to learn how to improve their skills, and to be a good teammate. But athletics today can be incredibly competitive, aggressive, and emotionally intense. Dr. Lisa offers strategies for when kids lose their cool when things don’t go their way and explains how to help kids manage their reactions when they make mistakes. Reena asks about how far you should push a kid who wants to quit a sport they’re good at and if we should encourage kids to stick with sports that don’t come naturally.

Book recommendation:

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck, PhD

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144: How Much Should I Share About My Kids? Nov 14, 2023

Parents can feel worried when their teen first starts driving or riding around in friends’ cars. What can parents do to help teens stay safe behind the wheel? What rules should be put in place and how well do those rules work? Dr. Lisa and Reena answer these questions and more while also addressing graduated drivers’ license laws and the part they play in reducing accidents among young drivers.

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143: How Do I Raise A Compassionate Child? With Dr. Traci Baxley Nov 07, 2023

Special guest professor Dr. Traci Baxley joins the Ask Lisa podcast. She is the author of Social Justice Parenting: How to Raise Compassionate, Anti-racist, Justice-minded Kids in an Unjust World. Dr. Baxley talks with Dr. Lisa and Reena about why it matters to raise caring, socially conscious kids - and how to do so. This episode unpacks the difference between compassion, empathy, and kindness and tackles questions from listeners including: How do you get siblings to be compassionate with each other? And are compassionate kids really better off in today’s hyper-competitive world?

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142: Should My Teen Be In Cars with New Drivers? Oct 31, 2023

Parents can feel worried when their teen first starts driving or riding around in friends’ cars. What can parents do to help teens stay safe behind the wheel? What rules should be put in place and how well do those rules work? Dr. Lisa and Reena answer these questions and more while also addressing graduated drivers’ license laws and the part they play in reducing accidents among young drivers.

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141: How Do Stop Riding My Kid's Emotional Roller Coaster? Oct 24, 2023

A parent writes in about a middle schooler's intense emotional swings which leave the parent feeling uncertain about how to respond. Dr. Lisa and Reena dive into the psychology of these rollercoaster emotions, discuss whether this behavior is typical at this age, and address how parents can strike the delicate balance of offering support without amplifying the mood swings. Dr. Lisa also explains how parents and caregivers can know when they are looking at typical emotional growing pains and when it’s time to be concerned.

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140: Can I Talk My Teen Out of a Toxic Romance? Oct 17, 2023

A mother writes in asking how to protect her teen from a controlling and degrading relationship. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss the nature of unhealthy relationships and how and when adults should intervene. Reena asks how parents can recognize the early signs of a harmful connection. Lisa explains how thoughtful people can find themselves in bad relationships and why the stakes can be incredibly high for a teen's well-being.

Dr. Lisa’s Resource Guide

The National Domestic Hotline - 1.800.799.SAFE

SMS: Text START to 88788

Www.Joinonelove.org

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139: This Is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained with Dr. Cara Natterson and Vanessa Bennett Oct 10, 2023

So what’s really happening when kids go through puberty? Dr. Cara Natterson and Vanessa Bennett join the Ask Lisa podcast to talk about their new book This is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained. The conversation takes a deep dive into the research on puberty and tackles key questions: When does puberty start and end? Why do kids suddenly smell bad, and how do we help? What’s the best way to respond to teens’ surging hormones? How do we support late bloomers? And more!

Lisa’s Book Recommendation:

This is So Awkward

By Cara Natterson, MD and Vanessa Kroll Bennett

https://www.amazon.com/This-So-Awkward-Puberty-Explained/dp/0593580958

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138: Should Our Teen Stay Home Alone When We Leave Town? Oct 03, 2023

Parents who need to be out of town for the weekend worry their 16-year-old son will throw a party while they’re away. They want to trust him but can’t shake the feeling that something is brewing. What should parents know about leaving teens home alone? And when should they worry? Dr. Lisa explains the potential consequences of allowing teens to host parties. Reena asks if it’s safer to have teens drinking at your home when adults are present. Their conversation also considers what parents might do if they know their teen is headed to a party where drinking - with or without adult supervision - might happen.

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137: How Do I Parent a Teen with a Chronic Health Condition? Sep 26, 2023

Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle two letters about the challenges of parenting teens with chronic health conditions. The first letter centers on addressing a teen’s sense of feeling “different” and asks what parents can do to prevent social isolation. The second letter asks how parents and caregivers can stay out of a power struggle with a teen who may not be following doctor’s orders. Dr. Lisa and Reena answer both questions and, in doing so, offer guidance that will resonate with any parent sharing similar concerns.

Lisa’s Book Recommendation: The Science of Making Friends by Dr. Elizabeth Laugeson

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136: Should I Allow My Tween To Wear Crop Tops? Sep 19, 2023

A parent feels uncomfortable when her preteen daughter wears crop tops. She worries about the attention her daughter might receive, but also wonders if she's the one who's out of touch. Dr. Lisa and Reena address the complexities of setting boundaries around what kids wear and how to balance policing attire with allowing kids to express their own style. Reena asks what parents should do if they suspect that a child sneaks prohibited clothing to wear when they're out - and if clothing choices are really a big deal in the grand scheme of parenting.

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135: How Do I Combat My Kid's Perfectionism? Sep 12, 2023

What causes kids to struggle with perfectionism? Dr. Lisa explains why young people sometimes hold themselves to unsustainable standards and how adults can help them to set realistic goals. Reena asks how parents can counter the harmful self-talk that often accompanies perfectionism and when parents should worry that perfectionism could lead to depression. In an episode packed with practical strategies and sample language, Dr. Lisa and Reena address how to help kids take a balanced approach to their work.

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134: My Son and His Friends Use Slurs. Can I Stop This? Sep 05, 2023

A mother writes in about the fact that her teen son and his friends - who come from a mix of racial, religious, and socio-economic backgrounds - "jokingly" use slurs. Does she have the power to stop this? Dr. Lisa and Reena explore what's driving the rise in hateful language and what adults can do to address this hurtful behavior. Reena asks whether it's realistic for adults to think they can change the dynamics that unfold when teens are with their friends. Dr. Lisa offers advice on how to guide teenagers toward acting with empathy and respect.

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133: A Conversation with U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy Aug 29, 2023

U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy visits the Ask Lisa Podcast to talk about the public health crisis you might not know about: loneliness. He joins co-hosts Dr. Lisa and Reena for a wide-ranging conversation on parenting, being a Dad, access to mental health services, the harms of social media, and what big tech companies can do to help protect our kids online. The episode ends with Dr. Murthy asking Dr. Lisa a thought-provoking question about what parents need now.

Surgeon General Advisory on Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation

Surgeon General Advisory on Social Media and Youth Mental Health

House Calls with Dr. Vivek Murthy Podcast

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132: Never Enough: Confronting Toxic Achievement Culture (with author Jennifer Wallace) Aug 22, 2023

Season four of the Ask Lisa podcast kicks off with a special guest, author and journalist Jennifer Breheny Wallace, who discusses her brand new book: “Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic - And What We Can Do About It.” Dr. Lisa, Reena, and Jennie address how achievement pressure harms kids and what parents can do to combat grind culture. They unpack research from Harvard and the London School of Economics to answer key questions: What do the kids who are thriving in high pressure situations do differently? What can adults do to shield kids from toxic stress? How do parents put pressure on kids without even realizing it? Tune in to learn about the "puppy dog principle," why mattering is what really matters, and the one thing that parents can do that makes a difference.

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131: Encore: How Do I Help My Disorganized High School Kid? Aug 15, 2023

Getting kids ready for the new school year can be a hard transition from summer. In this encore episode we look at helping teens manage their responsibilities during and after high school. Staying organized isn’t just about getting into college - it’s also about having the ability to operate independently. A parent writes in worried about a charming, but disorganized, son. Dr. Lisa explains what executive functioning skills are - and how to help kids build them. Dr. Lisa and Reena address what drives procrastination in kids, how adults can provide executive functioning "training wheels," and how to get kids to do things like homework without having to nag constantly. The conversation also considers when parents should offer lots of support, and when kids should be allowed to feel the consequences of being disorganized.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

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130: Encore: Should I Kick my Kid Off TikTok? Aug 08, 2023

When should parents limit - or even forbid - the use of TikTok? Dr. Lisa and Reena take a deep dive into the upsides and downsides of social media and how the norms kids encounter in online environments can influence real-world behavior. The conversation sheds light on the algorithms that drive social media, what parents need to be on the lookout for, when it's time to worry, and what parents should do.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

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129: Encore: My Kid Was Dumped by Her Friends. How Can I Help? Aug 01, 2023

Why do kids suddenly turn on friends and ice them out of a group? It’s something Dr. Lisa says she's been hearing about more often in recent months as kids need shared interests to hold their groups together, and that "social glue" was depleted by the pandemic. We take a look at how this negative behavior can emerge in friend groups and quickly become destructive. Reena asks if adults should call out mean behavior or reach out to other parents when social groups turn sour. Dr. Lisa covers what kids should do whenclassmates are nice to them one-on-one but won't include them in groups at school.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

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128: Encore: Should I Track my Teen's Location? Jul 25, 2023

It’s easy to track kids using cell phone technology. But is it a good idea to do so? Today's technology allows us to know a lot more about our kids than our parents ever knew about us. While parents might track their teens for supervision and safety reasons, teens often long for more independence and privacy than tracking allows. Dr. Lisa explains why this tension is an expectable, healthy part of adolescent development and unpacks two key questions: What, exactly, does tracking accomplish? And does it really help to keep teens safe? Reena asks about the downsides of tracking a teen’s location and Dr. Lisa lays out the tricky scenarios she's encountered in her practice.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

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127: Encore: How Much Gaming is Too Much? Jul 18, 2023

What are the signs of a gaming addiction? It’s easy in the summer to have lax rules and allow more gaming and screen time. But when does gaming cross the line into being too much? A mom writes in worried about her son who used gaming to connect with friends during the pandemic but now games alone while his friends spend time together in person. Dr. Lisa unpacks the research on gaming hazards and addiction, as well as some unexpected benefits of gaming. Reena gets answers to key questions: When is it timeto worry that a kid is spending too much time gaming? And what should parents do?

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

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126: Encore: Raising an Athlete? Advice from an Olympic Mom Jul 11, 2023

Three time Olympian and Mom of three, Lauren Regula explains how we can all better manage the stresses of school sports. What do you really need to know when raising an athlete. I was surprised by the one question she asks her kids every night at the dinner table. We’ve started asking the same question in our home. We hope you’ll enjoy this encore presentation.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

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125: Encore: How Do We Talk to Kids About Justice? Special Guest Preet Bharara Jul 04, 2023

How can we help our kids understand justice and fairness? Special Guest Preet Bharara, a former U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, joins the Ask Lisa Podcast to discuss his children’s book, Justice Is… A Guide for Young Truth Seekers. Who are the history makers our children should know about? Dr. Lisa and Reena feel that there’s no better guest than Preet for this 4th of July encore episode.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

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124: Encore: How and When Do I Give My Kid a Phone? Jun 23, 2023

What’s the right age to give a kid a smartphone? There’s no simple answer to this question, but guidelines we can bear in mind when kids - at increasingly young ages - ask for one. In this encore episode Dr. Lisa explains what to consider, and the conversations to have before and after you give your child a phone.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

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123: Here's To Summer! Jun 13, 2023

Schools out! Now what? Dr. Lisa and Reena take a look back at the highlights of Season Three - from key topics to informative guests to the launch of Lisa’s new book, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. Their conversation covers what Lisa hopes parents will focus on now, the launch date for Season Four, and the upcoming episodes for the summer.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

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122: How Much Structure Should Kids Have in the Summer? Jun 06, 2023

While summer is a great time to be more laid back, a parent writes in asking whether kids should really have less structure in the summer. Dr. Lisa and Reena talk through key questions parents face once the school year ends: What's a reasonable bedtime - and how much sleep should kids be getting? What's fair to expect in terms of chores? And how much time should kids spend with digital devices, especially in light of the new, worrisome report from the U.S. Surgeon General? Their conversation offers both detailed answers and a broad perspective on the value of linking privileges and responsibilities.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

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121: Encore: Should I Bribe My Kid? May 30, 2023

It can be hard to get your kids to be self-starters. How do we motivate kids to do the things they don't want to do? Dr. Lisa explains that there are times in parenting when offering encouragement and reminders just doesn't work. So can bribing your kids be a winning strategy for things like getting better grades? Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss motivation and rewards. What really works to get kids motivated? This is an encore episode that originally ran at the beginning of 2022 during the pandemic.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

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120: My Teen Is into Sports Betting. Help! May 23, 2023

With online betting now legal in most states, sports coverage is increasingly saturated with commentary focussed on betting and ads for gambling apps. Teens are noticing - and some of them are getting in on the action. It's increasingly easy and common for teens to bet on sports and, at times, to lose large sums of money. Dr. Lisa and Reena address how teens find ways to place bets, why they want to, and what parents and caregivers need to know if they have a teen who might be interested in sports betting. Dr. Lisa lays out the psychological science explaining why gambling can be addictive and offers guidance on how to talk with teens about the potential dangers of sports betting.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

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Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

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119: How Do I Get My Son to Stop Picking on His Little Sister? May 16, 2023

Why are kids mean to their siblings? Dr. Lisa unpacks the dynamics behind sibling conflict and takes us inside the mind of older siblings. The conversation addresses why the onset of puberty makes it hard for kids to control their emotions, gendered dynamics, and how to steer clear of shame when one child hurts another. Dr. Lisa offers guidance on what parents can do - both in the moment and after the fact - to prevent lasting harm.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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118: My Daughter Is Cutting Herself. What Should I Do? May 09, 2023

Why do young people engage in self-harm? A mother writes in asking for advice on how to respond when her daughter cuts herself. Dr. Lisa unpacks why adolescents sometimes hurt themselves to manage distress and Reena asks about the connection between self-harm and suicide. Using research as a guide, Dr. Lisa explains self-harm, how adults can respond helpfully, and what interventions to consider.

Dr. Lisa Resource Recommendation:

The DBT Skills Workbook for Teen Self-Harm: Practical Tools to Help You Manage Emotions and Overcome Self-Harming Behaviors

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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117: My College-Bound Kid Is "Soiling the Nest." Help! May 02, 2023

What’s the best way for parents to respond when their high school senior wants to spend every waking minute with friends? A mom writes in asking if it's okay to require her teen to spend time with the family before heading off to college. Dr. Lisa walks us through the complex psychological dynamics unfolding for high school seniors and their parents. Teens are often working to consolidate a new identity and can be remote and prickly around the house. Parents often feel annoyed with their college-bound kid and, simultaneously, like they aren't ready to let go. Do teens continue to hold their folks at arms length? What about the example being set for younger siblings? Dr. Lisa answers these questions and more.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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116: Should I Kick My Kid Off TikTok? Apr 25, 2023

When should parents limit - or even forbid - the use of TikTok? Dr. Lisa and Reena take a deep dive into the upsides and downsides of social media and how the norms kids encounter in online environments can influence real-world behavior. The conversation sheds light on the algorithms that drive social media, what parents need to be on the lookout for, when it's time to worry, and what parents should do.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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115: How Do I Parent a Young Adult (and Deal with my Own Parents)? Guest: Laurence Steinberg, PhD Apr 18, 2023

Dr. Lisa and Reena welcome special guest Dr. Laurence Steinberg, Professor of Psychology at Temple University, to celebrate the publication of his latest book You And Your Adult Child: How To Grow Together In Challenging Times. Dr. Steinberg unpacks key research and decades of experience to answer questions from Ask Lisa listeners: How long should you financially support your kids? What if your parents aren’t the grandparents you hoped they'd be? When should you speak out about worrisome choices an adult child is making? Dr. Steinberg addresses how to navigate shifting family dynamics and the importance of supporting autonomy in young adults - even as they continue to need parental love and guidance.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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114: Should My Kid Take a Gap Year? Apr 11, 2023

Does it always make sense for students to enroll in college immediately after high school? Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss when and why parents might want to think seriously about having a teen take a gap year. They weigh the pros and cons of "stepping off the conveyor belt" to college and talk about how gap years are best spent. Reena shares her concern that allowing a gap year makes college less likely. Dr. Lisa explains how having an extra year can go a long way toward helping students make the most of the college opportunity.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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113: How Do I Help My Kid Deal with Unfairness? Apr 04, 2023

From not getting into a desired college to not making a team - how do we help kids process unfairness? A dad writes in asking for help when his high school junior loses the National Honors Society presidency to a classmate known for online posts about drinking. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss how to help kids come to terms with unfairness and privilege as they play out in school, sports, and leadership positions. Dr. Lisa reminds parents of the importance of helping kids develop the capacity to tolerate - and grow from - emotional discomfort.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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112: How Much Gaming is Too Much? Mar 28, 2023

How do you know if your child has a gaming addiction? A mom writes in worried about her son who used gaming to connect with friends during the pandemic but now games alone while his friends spend time together in person. Dr. Lisa unpacks the research on gaming hazards and addiction, as well as some unexpected benefits of gaming. Reena gets answers to key questions: When is it time to worry that a kid is spending too much time gaming? And what should parents do?

AVAILABLE NOW Lisa’s new book:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources.

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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111: What Kind of Therapy is Right for My Kid? Mar 21, 2023

Parents seeking professional support for their kids often run into a confusing array of therapies to choose from. In this episode, Dr. Lisa provides a neutral guide on the various options - DBT, CBT, talk therapy, somatic therapy, play therapy, and family therapy - and describes which options are the best fit for which concerns. From Freudian therapy to body-based treatments, Dr. Lisa and Reena give listeners an accessible guide to therapeutic interventions.

AVAILABLE NOW Lisa’s new book:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources.

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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110: What Is Real Self-Care for Parents? Special Guest and Author: Pooja Lakshmin, MD Mar 14, 2023

What’s the difference between real and faux self-care? Dr. Pooja Lakshmin helps us rethink what it means to care for ourselves and answers listeners' questions related to her new book, Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included). Dr. Lisa and Reena find out how to realistically manage life's pressures - from raising kids to managing aging parents - while making self-care a priority. Dr. Lakshmin discusses the personal journey that inspired her new book and the step-by-step approach to real change that she details for readers.

Resources:

Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included)

By Pooja Lakshmin M.D.

NYT: How Society Has Turned Its Back on Mothers

By Pooja Lakshmin M.D.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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109: Encore: Why Are Our Kids So Mean To Us? Mar 07, 2023

How should you respond when your kids are mean to you? What’s age appropriate behavior and what should not be tolerated? Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack why kids lash out and what’s behind the outbursts. How do you know when hormones are the cause or when it’s something else? Dr. Lisa has advice on how to create a safe space for kids at home that allows them to work through their frustrations but also teaches them what’s acceptable in the real world. This episode is an encore presentation that originally ran at the end of May in Season Two.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources.

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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108: How Do I Help My Disorganized High School Kid? Feb 28, 2023

Preparing for life after high school is about more than just getting into college - it’s also about having the ability to operate independently. A parent writes in worried about a charming, but disorganized, son. Dr. Lisa explains what executive functioning skills are - and how to help kids build them. Dr. Lisa and Reena address what drives procrastination in kids, how adults can provide executive functioning "training wheels," and how to get kids to do things like homework without having to nag constantly. The conversation also considers when parents should offer lots of support, and when kids should be allowed to feel the consequences of being disorganized.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources.

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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107: Lisa's New Book! The Emotional Lives of Teenagers Feb 21, 2023

Dr. Lisa’s new book The Emotional Lives of Teenagers is officially out today in print and audio book.

In this episode Lisa and Reena discuss Lisa’s new book and the research behind it. Lisa explains why she felt passionate about writing the book, the strategies it offers parents for navigating the teen years, and how it will help parents know what's typical teen behavior and when it's time to worry. Reena asks if the pandemic forever changed teen behavior and how gender influences the experience of emotion. Lisa describes what the research says about what men need to do to help boys handle emotions well and the big take-aways she hopes parents will get from her book.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comand everywhere books are sold. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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106: Should I Give the Sex Talk if I Think I'm Already Too Late? Feb 14, 2023

Parents should view sexual development as a facet of overall healthy development, but that's not always easy to do. Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack the concept of “the sex talk" and Lisa explains that, instead of a single sit-down, conversations about physical intimacy should be short, start earlier than expected, and happen over time. Reena asks how parents can find openings to discuss sex when it can be such an awkward topic, and whether parents should really expect (or even want) for their kids to be open about their sex lives. Lisa describes how different cultures take different approaches to their kids' emerging love lives, and what the Dutch get right about sex.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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105: My Kid Complains Constantly. How Do I Get Him to Stop? Feb 07, 2023

How should a parent respond to a kid who seems to complain all the time? Dr. Lisa explains why complaints, though often tedious to listen to, can actually play an important role in healthy development. Reena points out that parents are usually exhausted and trying to keep a positive energy around the house; Dr. Lisa and Reena address how parents might balance allowing kids to vent with the fact that complaining can bring everyone down. This episode also addresses when it's time to worry about complaining and offers a fresh vantage point that might help you rethink your response the next time you ask your kid, “So, how was your day?”

Pre-order The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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104: How Do I Support My LGBTQ+ Daughter? Jan 31, 2023

A teen confides to her mother that she is gay but doesn’t want her dad to know. Her mother writes the Ask Lisa podcast with several questions: How can parents best support teens who identify as LGBTQ+? Is it right to hold information from the other parent? How should the family handle sleepovers with same-sex peers? Dr. Lisa explains how worried kids can be when they come out to their parents; Reena asks how parents should respond if they wonder if their child is going through a phase. Dr. Lisa addresses how sexual identities sometimes evolve over time, and Reena becomes emotional while processing how isolating it must be for parents who are raising kids in communities that might not be supportive of their child. Dr. Lisa offers guidance and resources.

Dr. Lisa’s recommendations

BOOK: Sex, Teens, and Everything In Between by Shafia Zaloom

WEBSITE: Scarleteen is a progressive, independent sexuality and relationships education media and support organization and website.

https://www.scarleteen.com/

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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103: How Do I Talk My Teen Out of Vaping? Jan 24, 2023

Vaping has become a growing concern for many parents of tweens and teens. What can adults do to steer kids clear of it, and what should we do to help kids who find themselves hooked on nicotine? Dr. Lisa discusses research-based strategies that can keep kids from experimenting with vaping or help them stop once they've started. Reena asks for advice on helping kids deal with peer pressure around vaping.

Resources:

This is Quitting online community to help people who are addicted to nicotine

Lisa's 2.14.18 NYT article: How to Talk With Teenagers About Vaping

Pre-order The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.comhttps://drlisadamour.com/resources/podcast/

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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102: Encore: My Son Messed Up. Can I Keep Him from Being Canceled? Jan 17, 2023

A parent writes in that her teen sent a group text to his classmates that contained racial and homophobic slurs about another kid. He thought he was being funny, but quickly realized that his classmates didn't agree. The boy and his parents understand that there's a price to pay for his actions, but his mom worries that he may be canceled. Dr. Lisa walks us through the long road ahead to try to make things right and the fact that redemption isn't always guaranteed. Reena asks how children can learn from their mistakes if they are being canceled? How can kids move down the road to repair?

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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101: How Do I Get My Teen Sons to Talk to Me? Jan 10, 2023

Is it normal for my teen son to not want to talk to me? That’s the question we tackle this week. Dr. Lisa explains that it can feel like a personal rejection when teens pull away from their parents, but that is rarely the case. So how do parents stay invested and find connection? Lisa and Reena unpack the strategies that work and Lisa draws on research from her new book The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. The conversation turns to how, without meaning to, we socialize boys to be less fluent in their feelings, and why we cannot leave the emotional work to women alone. Before wrapping up, Reena asks when parents should take teens' silence personally and what they should do.

Pre-order The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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100: How Can Parents Find Joy and Energy in the New Year? Jan 03, 2023

We all want to start the New Year feeling our best, but that's a tall order for the many parents who feel mentally and physically exhausted. In response to a question from a parent asking how she can feel less stressed, anxious, and harried, Dr. Lisa and Reena consider what makes for effective self-care, how to hit the reset button, the science behind maintaining a sense of equilibrium, and why parenting can feel so hard - even when things are going well.

Pre-order The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources.

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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99: Encore: How Do I Keep My Kids Grounded in a Materialistic World? Dec 27, 2022

The holidays can usher in a focus on spending and consumerism. How do we instill healthy values in our kids, make sure that they appreciate what really matters in life, and keep them from becoming preoccupied with wealth or material objects? Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle the critical question of what parents can do to keep kids grounded and Lisa unpacks research on what really works.

Pre-order The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources.

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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98: My Friends' Kids Are Excluding My Kid. What Should I Do? Dec 13, 2022

Having friendships with families where the kids and adults love hanging out can be wonderful. But what happens when the kids’ relationships sour or they drift in different directions? Dr. Lisa helps parents navigate the tricky conversations they may need to have with their friends. What should parents do when they know that their kid is being excluded? Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss how to start a conversation with the adults who are involved without making the whole situation worse.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources.

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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97: Should I Track My Teen's Location? Dec 06, 2022

Today's technology allows us to know a lot more about our kids than our parents ever knew about us. So...is it a good idea to track your teen's location? While parents might track their teens for supervision and safety reasons, teens often long for more independence and privacy than tracking allows. Dr. Lisa explains why this tension is an expectable, healthy part of adolescent development and unpacks two key questions: What, exactly, does tracking accomplish? And does it really help to keep teens safe? Reena asks about the downsides of tracking a teen’s location and Dr. Lisa lays out the tricky scenarios she's encountered in her practice.

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Additional resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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96: How Do I Raise Financially Responsible Kids? Special Guest Bobbi Rebell Nov 29, 2022

Having conversations with our kids about money can be difficult. So how do we set them up for good financial health? Financial expert Bobbi Rebell, author of Launching Financial Grownups: Live Your Richest Life by Helping Your (Almost) Adult Kids Become Everyday Money Smart, joins the Ask Lisa Podcast as a special guest. The conversation answers key questions from listeners, including: How do we get kids to understand the value of the things they have? Should you do allowances? How do you teach financial responsibility to teens without stressing them out? Should kids have a credit or debit card, or even a checking account? Bobbi explains why there is value in biting your tongue and letting kids make mistakes with money and explains how her book grew out of some of her own parenting mishaps and regrets around money.

Dr. Lisa’s Resources

Bobbi Rebell’s website: www.GrownupGear.com

Books:

By Bobbi Rebell. Launching Financial Grownups: Live Your Richest Life by Helping Your (Almost) Adult Kids Become Everyday Money Smart.

By Ron Lieber. The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money

Podcast:

Bobbi Rebell hosts the podcast, Money Tips for Financial Grownups podcast

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Additional resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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95: Encore: Happy Holidays? Dealing with Difficult Relatives Nov 22, 2022

The holidays can be both joyful and stressful. Being in close quarters with relatives whose political or social views are completely different from yours can make this busy time of year even more challenging. Dr. Lisa offers a plan to help families and their kids avoid conflict when possible and cope with any friction that does arise. She also lays out a game plan for how to talk with our kids about guests and relatives who don't make for great company. Lisa and Reena offer this holiday encore presentation to help families during the holidays.

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Additional resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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94: My Clingy Teen Hates Going to School. How Do I Help? Nov 15, 2022

A parent writes in asking for help for their teen who feels intensely anxious about going to school and interacting with adults outside the home. Dr. Lisa explains that the need to stay close to home during the height of the pandemic has made it hard for many young people to spread their wings now. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss the root causes of clinginess and separation anxiety and how those causes can differ depending on a child's age. Their conversation addresses what adults can do now to help young people understand anxiety, get the upper hand on their nerves, and find their way back into the world.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources.

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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93: Should I Monitor My Kid’s Grades Online? Nov 08, 2022

Grades can be a source of family anxiety and stress, and online grading portals can make the situation both better and worse. A dad writes in asking how parents and kids can better manage online grades. Reena explains that she gets pinged on email every time her kids' grades are posted and Dr. Lisa has surprising advice for parents in the same boat. Dr. Lisa explains the upsides and downsides of having access to online grades, and how families can use these systems to help kids become more independent at school. In "Parenting-To-Go" Lisa offers one question parents might want to ask themselves to help keep online grading systems in perspective.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources.

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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92: I’m Not Ready for My Kid to Be in Love. Help! Nov 01, 2022

How should we talk to our kids about what it means to fall in love? Parents know how good it can feel to make a strong connection and be on the receiving end of affection, but we also want to shield kids from heartbreak. Dr. Lisa helps walks us through how we can talk with our kids about both the emotional and physical sides of love, while Reena asks key questions about how to deal with the fact that these conversations are often uncomfortable for both parents and kids. Dr. Lisa explains how we can keep these important discussions going without being awkward or dismissive - offering a "swat team" strategy that can make a big difference. This episode also includes key guidance about how to make the most of the openings our kids provide to talk about young love.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources.

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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91: My Kid Hates Being A Late Bloomer. How Can I Help? Oct 25, 2022

How can we support kids who feel uncomfortable about the timing of puberty? A parent writes in asking what to say to a late bloomer who feels out of step with her peers. Dr. Lisa unpacks the research on what it means to reach puberty early - or late - and how this differs depending on gender. Reena and Dr. Lisa address whether there's such a thing as perfectly timed puberty, and how to talk about the changes that come with puberty in ways that won't send tweens and teens running for the hills.

The Ask Lisa Podcast

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources.

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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90: Should My Kid Play Violent Video Games? Oct 18, 2022

Do violent video games normalize violence? A parent whose son becomes more aggressive with his sisters after playing certain games writes in asking for advice. Is it best to pull the plug on games like Fortnite and Grand Theft Auto, even if they're important to a boy's social life? Dr. Lisa unpacks the research on how violent video games affect kids and offers guidelines to consider. Reena asks how old kids should be if they are going to play video games and describes how allowing her son to play Call of Duty turned into a teachable moment. Dr. Lisa and Reena lay out the key conversations that parents might want to have with young gamers.

The Ask Lisa Podcast

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https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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89: How Do I Get My Teen To Take Charge of Her Life? Oct 11, 2022

How do we help teens take ownership of their lives, especially if they are feeling overwhelmed by all that adults are asking of them? Dr. Lisa explains how parents can move from nagging teens to seeing themselves as teachers who help teens become increasingly independent. The conversation also details the important role of adults outside the home, and the one thing Dr. Lisa has seen transform even the most reluctant teens into young people who can advocate for themselves.

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https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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88: How Do I Get My Son to Give Up Pot? Oct 04, 2022

How do you help a teen who won't stop smoking marijuana? When does a family need to step in? A mom writes in asking for help for her son who has been caught smoking marijuana both at school and at home. Dr. Lisa explains what parents should know about substance abuse, and Reena asks how best to explain the risks of marijuana to kids, especially in light of widespread legalization. The conversation also covers the concept of “self-medicating” and why some kids think it’s okay to use marijuana to cope with pain.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan

Check out Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources.

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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87: Do I Really Have to Send My Tween to Sleepovers? Sep 27, 2022

A parent who hates sleepovers writes in to ask if they are really necessary. Dr. Lisa and Reena weigh the social costs of not allowing kids to host or attend sleepovers and what parents can do instead. They also address the clear parameters that can reduce the downsides of sleepovers, raise concerns parents may not have thought of, and detail the kinds of conversations parents might have with their kids if sleepovers are going to be allowed.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan

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https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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86: How Do I Pay For College Without Going Broke? Special Guest: Author Ron Lieber Sep 20, 2022

College can be incredibly expensive, so how should parents think about covering the cost? What do we say to our kids about what we can, or are willing, to pay? How do you make the most of 529 plans? Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle these questions and more with special guest Ron Lieber, author of The Price You Pay for College: An Entirely New Roadmap for the Biggest Financial Decision Your Family Will Ever Make.

Resources from Ron Lieber

Ron Lieber on 529 plans: A Tax Strategy for 529 College Savings Accounts

Ron Lieber on merit aid: High School Grades Could Be Worth $100,000 Time to Tell Your Child?

Books by Ron Lieber:

The Price You Pay for College: An Entirely New Road Map for the Biggest Financial Decision Your Family Will Ever Make

The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money

The Ask Lisa Podcast

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85: My Kids Lose it When They Make Sports Mistakes. How Can I Help? Sep 13, 2022

When kids get stuck or fall apart while playing sports, what should parents do? Dr. Lisa offers strategies for when kids lose their cool, and explains a key change in thinking can help kids manage when they make mistakes. She and Reena also discuss how to help kids appreciate the importance of being team players and the fact that kids rarely improve in sports they've stopped enjoying. Reena asks about whether we should push kids to stick with sports they’re not good at, and Dr. Lisa explains the value of playing a sport that doesn’t come naturally.

Book recommendation:

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck, PhD

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84: How Do I Encourage My Tween to Drop a Bad Friendship? Sep 06, 2022

Friends are supposed to make you feel better, but what about when kids have "friends" who leave them feeling awful? How do you help tweens and teens identify when a friendship has become toxic and gracefully remove themselves without becoming socially isolated? Reena and Dr. Lisa discuss how to handle tricky friendships, how to help kids create distance without being hurtful, and how to make sure that kids don't have all of their friendships eggs in one basket. Dr. Lisa also explains what not to do when helping kids get out of bad friendships. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

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https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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83: How Do I Get My Teen to Take School Seriously? Aug 30, 2022

After more than two years of pandemic-related disruption, there's a lot riding on this school year. But what do you do if your kid doesn't seem to care about grades or how things are going academically? How can adults get kids to self-motivate and without micro-managing? Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss how parents can get kids to take school seriously, what kind of support is most useful, and the most common mistake adults make when trying to help students get back on track at school. In Parenting to Go Dr. Lisa provides tips that will help every family have the best possible start to the new school year.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan

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https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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The Danger Zone on Insta Jun 21, 2022

Join Dr. Lisa and Reena live with your parenting questions this Weds, June 22nd, 1pm EST on the @asklisapodcast Instagram live handle.

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Summer Instagram Lives! Jun 07, 2022

Dr. Lisa and Reena have an update. Join them live with your parenting questions this Weds, June 8th, 1pm EST on the @asklisapodcast Instagram live handle.

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82: How Should Kids Spend Summer 2022? May 24, 2022

Dr. Lisa runs down the five things she believes parents should focus on in summer 2022. The pandemic narrowed kids' opportunities for growth, but there's now a lot adults can do to help children and teenagers catch up. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss advice that might seem counterintuitive - such as the importance of encouraging kids to take some risks.

Dr. Lisa’s Summer Resources

50 Risks to Take With Your Kids: A Guide to Building Resilience and Independence in the First 10 Years by Daisy Turnbull
The Dangerous Book for Boys by Conn Iggulden and Hal Iggulden
The Daring Book for Girls Hardcover by Andrea J Buchanan and Miriam Peskowitz
ChopChop: The Kids' Guide to Cooking Real Food with Your Family by Sally Sampson and Carl Tremblay
The Kid's Guide to Service Projects: Over 500 Service Ideas for Young People Who Want to Make a Difference by Barbara A. Lewis
The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money by Ron Lieber

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan

Check out Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources.

Ask Lisa is produced by Good Trouble Productions.

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81: Why Is Our Kid Being So Mean to Us? May 17, 2022

How should you respond when your kids are mean to you? What’s age-appropriate behavior and what should not be tolerated? Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack why kids lash out and what’s behind the outbursts. How do you know when hormones are the cause or when it’s something else? Dr. Lisa has advice on how to create a safe space for kids at home that allows them to work through their frustrations but also teaches them what’s acceptable in the real world.

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Ask Lisa is produced by Good Trouble Productions.

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80: Should I Push My Child Out of the Nest? May 10, 2022

How much should we shield our kids from risk? And how much should we go out of our way to make their lives more comfortable? Dr. Lisa explains the importance of fostering independence and encouraging our children to take safe risks. Reena asks if we should try to make our kids' lives easier when we can, especially given all that they have gone through in the pandemic. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss how much distress we should allow our kids to tolerate and when we should offer support.

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Ask Lisa is produced by Good Trouble Productions

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79: What Do Parents Need to Know about Suicide? May 03, 2022

What causes a child or teenager to become suicidal? What steps can be taken to prevent suicide? Dr. Jonathan B. Singer co-author of Suicide in Schools: A Practitioner's Guide to Multi-level Prevention, Assessment, Intervention, and Postventionjoins the Ask Lisa podcast to answer questions from parents. Dr. Lisa and Reena ask about warning signs, whether peers can promote suicidal thoughts, when to be concerned about possible suicidality, and what to do.

Additional resources:

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

Ask Lisa is produced by: Good Trouble Productions

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78: My Daughter’s Nude Selfie Got Out. What Do We Do Now? Apr 26, 2022

A parent writes in asking how to pick up the pieces after her daughter shared a nude selfie with a boyfriend who then sent it to other boys at school. Dr. Lisa and Reena talk about how impulsive moments can lead to serious consequences, what can be done to make things right, and the legal implications of sharing nude photos. The episode also addresses what to say to kids about requesting, sending, or unexpectedly receiving nude photos, and the simple--but often overlooked--change to school policy that can make a big difference.

Dr. Lisa’s Resources

The New York Times, 1/2/18; Teenagers, Stop Asking for Nude Photos; By Dr. Lisa Damour

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Additional resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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77 Encore: I Hate Nagging My Kids. What Else Works? Apr 19, 2022

Getting kids to do things without hounding them can seem impossible. This week the Ask Lisa Podcast presents an encore episode on nagging. At what age should kids be expected to manage their responsibilities without constant reminders? Dr. Lisa explains how parents can help kids remember to do things on their own. What else works besides nagging? Reena asks for strategies to help parents at home. Lisa introduces us to psychologist Haim Ginott who offers the perfect phrasing for motivating kids.

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Additional resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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76: How and When Do I Tell My Kids Their Grandma is Dying? Apr 12, 2022

How do you deal with grief and explain death to your kids? Knowing that you are losing a parent is difficult but how do you also help your kids process what will be coming? Dr. Lisa explains what kids need at different ages when processing grief and answers a parent’s question on how often kids should visit dying grandparents. Reena asks where parents are most likely to miss the mark when dealing with grief. Dr. Lisa explains why honesty is hugely important, and talks with Reena about how to prepare kids for funerals.

Dr. Lisa’s Books Recommendations on Grief

Fall of Freddy the Leaf, By Leo Buscaglia, PhD
The Tenth Good Thing About Barney, By Judith Viorst
What’s Heaven?, By Maria Shriver
Grief Day By Day,By Jan Warner
The AfterGrief: Finding Your Way Along the Long Arc of Loss, By Hope Edelman

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Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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75: How Do I Help My Teen Deal With College Rejections? Apr 05, 2022

Not getting into desired colleges can be devastating for teens and their parents. How can you help your child move past what feels like a major life setback? Dr. Lisa provides language that might be helpful in navigating this delicate moment. What do you say to friends and neighbors who put teens or their parents in an uncomfortable spot? Reena asks how you can help teens deal with feeling disappointed - and perhaps bitter about where other classmates got in - especially when they’ve put in a lot of hard work. Dr. Lisa also reminds parents that, regardless of where teens are going to college, there may still be work to do to get them ready for freshman year.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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74: My Son Messed Up. Can I Keep Him from Being Canceled? Mar 29, 2022

A parent writes in that her teen sent a group text to his classmates that contained racial and homophobic slurs about another kid. He thought he was being funny, but quickly realized that his classmates didn't agree. The boy and his parents understand that there's a price to pay for his actions, but his mom worries that he may be canceled. Dr. Lisa walks us through the long road ahead to try to make things right and the fact that redemption isn't always guaranteed. Reena asks how children can learn from their mistakes if they are being canceled? How can kids move down the road to repair?

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Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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73: I Saw My Daughter’s Shocking Texts. Should I Confront Her? Mar 22, 2022

A parent discovers an alarming text about a classmate on her kid's phone and wonders if she should confront her child. How do you address text messages that you were not meant to see? Dr. Lisa walks us though how to weigh your child's safety with the need to build trust. When should you tell a fellow parent if you have intel on their child? Reena wonders why you shouldn’t just pick up the phone and call the other parent. Lisa explains how and when to pass along information about another child without damaging your relationship with your own.

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https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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72: How Do We Talk to Kids About Justice? Advice from Preet Bharara Mar 15, 2022

How do you teach kids about justice and fairness? Special Guest Preet Bharara joins the Ask Lisa Podcast to discuss his new children's book, Justice Is...A Guide for Young Truth Seekers. The conversation addresses the many ways adults can inspire young people to fight injustice and defend the truth. Dr. Lisa and Reena ask Preet, a former U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, about his experiences raising his own children, bouncing back from hard times, and the key lessons we should teach our children.

Purchase a signed copy of Preet’s new children’s book: https://booksofwonder.com/products/9780593176627

Checkout live events with Preet & Cafe: http://cafe.com/events

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https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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71: My Kid Was Dumped by Her Friends. How Can I Help? Mar 08, 2022

Why do kids suddenly turn on their friends and ice them out of a group? It’s something Dr. Lisa says she's been hearing about more often. Kids need shared interests to hold their groups together and that "social glue" has been depleted by the pandemic. We take a look at how negative behavior can emerge among friends and become destructive. Reena asks if adults should call out mean girl behavior or reach out to other parents when social groups turn sour. Dr. Lisa covers what kids should do when classmates are nice to them one-on-one but won't include them in groups at school.

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Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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70: Do I Tell My Daughter She’s Beautiful? Mar 01, 2022

A dad writes in asking if it's okay to celebrate his daughter’s appearance and how this might help, or hurt, her self-confidence. How do we help kids feel good about themselves and their bodies, especially when they are bombarded by images on social media that have them worried about their looks? Dr. Lisa and Reena talk about when it's okay to talk about appearance, when it's best to say nothing, and how to handle it when teens present themselves in ways that are not appropriate. Reena asks for tips on how to talk to our kids about physical appearance in a world that is already so focused on good looks.

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https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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69 Encore: Lying, Sneaking, Cheating. What Keeps Kids from Being Honest? Feb 22, 2022

Nobody likes being lied to, especially by our own children. Why do kids lie? Dr. Lisa looks at lying from a developmental standpoint and points out that when a child asks for more privacy, it doesn't necessarily mean they’re doing something sneaky. But when a child does lie, how should a parent respond? Dr. Lisa explains the difference between a child feeling appropriately guilty, and a child being made to feel shame. The bottom line? How you respond to dishonesty can make an important difference in how kids behave.

Dr. Lisa’s Resources:

Lisa’s NYT’s column: How to Help a Teen Out of a Homework Hole

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Additional resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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68: How Should Step-Parents Fit In? Feb 15, 2022

A step-parent asks for Dr. Lisa’s help as she finds herself parenting three kids under eight, two of them step-children. Should step-parents discipline differently? Dr. Lisa talks about what parents can do to keep kids from feeling stuck in a loyalty conflict between their parent and step-parent. Reena asks about common mistakes step-parents make when forming a relationship with step-kids. Dr. Lisa also explains how weekday parenting can be different from weekend parenting. She maps out how you can create a framework to make multiple households run smoothly. What do you do if one home feels like Disney World and another is more strict? The co-hosts discuss how playing the long-game can make all the difference.

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Additional resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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67: Should My Teen Go to a Sleepover with Her Boyfriend? Feb 08, 2022

A parent from Connecticut wants to know if it’s acceptable for her teen to spend the night at her boyfriend’s house. How should parents approach a conversation like this one? What do you do if your values are not the same as other parents'? The Dutch approach teen romance very differently than Americans do. Dr. Lisa explains the cross-cultural research on teens and sex. Reena asks how to move beyond an impasse with your kid and Dr. Lisa explains why there is value in having some tension with teens.

Dr. Lisa’s Resource Recommendation

Brugman, M., Caron, S. L., and Rademakers, J. (2010). Emerging adolescent sexuality: A comparison of American and Dutch college women’s experiences. International Journal of Sexual Health 22 (1), 32–46, p. 39.

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Additional resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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66: Should I Bribe My Kid? Feb 01, 2022

No one wants to be that nagging parent. Dr. Lisa explains how the trickiest transition in parenting might be when nagging no longer works with your teen. At these times, is bribing a good strategy? Dr. Lisa walks us through different approaches to motivating kids and how to respond when they reflexively say "no." Reena and Lisa discuss when it might make sense to bribe a teen to get better grades.

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65: My Depressed Teen Refuses Therapy. How Do I Help? Jan 25, 2022

What are the signs a teen is suffering from depression and needs help? Dr. Lisa explains what you need to watch for. Reena asks what parents should do if their teen refuses help, and how parents can bring up therapy without making a teen feel worse. Lisa explains that teens often worry that they are broken - a narrative that needs to be considered when offering help. Dr. Lisa explains how she found inspiration from an unexpected reality star, Dog the Bounty Hunter, and also mentions a major change for licensed clinicians that might make it easier to find the right therapist.

Dr. Lisa’s Resource Recommendation

PSYPACT is an interstate compact that allows registered psychologists to practice across state boundaries: https://psypact.site-ym.com/page/About

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64: How Do I Build My Kids' Confidence and Self-Esteem? Jan 18, 2022

How do you build confidence in kids? How do you lay the groundwork for better self-esteem? What age does confidence start to plummet in girls? Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle these questions, explain where self-esteem comes from, and cover how parents can help children feel good about themselves in this encore episode.

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Additional resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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63: Raising an Athlete? Advice from an Olympic Mom. Jan 11, 2022

Three-time Olympian and mom of three, Lauren Regula joins Dr. Lisa and Reena to talk about what kids should really be getting out of athletics. How do you help kids make the most of their sports? Lauren explains why she doesn't put her kids in the most competitive sports leagues. She also shares the one question she asks her kids every night to help them grow in sports and life.

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Additional resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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62: How Do I Boost Mental Health in 2022? Jan 04, 2022

What’s the best way to help boost mental health in 2022? Dr. Lisa walks us through her five mental health resolutions for the new year. Reena asks how we can rethink mental wellness for ourselves and our families while continuing to navigate the pandemic. Some unexpected parenting inspiration comes from the words of Winston Churchill.

Dr. Lisa’s Resource Recommendations

The Power of a Positive No, by William Ury

The 5-Minute Gratitude Journal: Give Thanks, Practice Positivity, Find Joy, by Sophia Godkin, PhD

Good Days Start With Gratitude: A 52 Week Guide To Cultivate An Attitude Of Gratitude: Gratitude Journal, by Pretty Simple Press

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61: Encore: My Kid Looked at Porn. What Should I Do? Dec 28, 2021

This week we present an encore episode of one of our top performing shows. American singer Billi Eilish recently spoke about the devastating effects porn had on her when she was exposed at eleven. Dr. Lisa explains how parents can start a conversation about porn and why it’s so important to talk to your kids about it. Reena asks what’s the right age to have that talk.

Articles:

Lisa's NYT article: How to Talk to Your Teenager About Pornography

Shafia Zaloom's NYT article: Kids Are Watching Pornography. Here's How to Talk About It

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Additional resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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60: How Do We Help Kids Through Divorce? Dec 14, 2021

As divorce numbers rise in the pandemic, we take a closer look at how divorce affects children. Dr. Lisa walks us through how children at different ages process their parents' separation. How can parents make the transition easier? Reena asks how do you make it work when you can’t stand your ex? Lisa details how couples who no longer want to be married can still work together as effective co-parents.

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Additional resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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59: My Daughter Is the Mean Girl. What Do I Do? Dec 07, 2021

What if your child is the one who is hurting other kids feelings at school? A concerned mom discovers that her daughter, who has been struggling socially, is pushing peers away by being too critical. She turns to Dr. Lisa for advice on how to get her middle school daughter to become more self-aware and tolerant.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

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58: Does My Child Have OCD? Nov 30, 2021

How do you know if your child has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)? A parent writes in worried about her daughter’s compulsive behavior and anxiety around germs. Dr. Lisa describes OCD, how it takes hold, when it's time to worry, and what parents should do if they are concerned that their child might suffer from it. Reena asks about the power of rituals and what parents can do to help their kids manage anxiety effectively.

Dr. Lisa’s OCD Resource Recommendations:

If Your Adolescent Has an Anxiety Disorder: An Essential Resource for Parents by Edna Foa

The OCD Workbook for Kids: Skills to Help Children Manage Obsessive Thoughts and Compulsive Behaviors by Pulifico and Robin

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

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Ask Lisa is produced by: www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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57: Happy Holidays? Dealing with Difficult Relatives. Nov 23, 2021

As we reconnect with family over the holidays how do we deal with difficult relatives? Dr. Lisa explains the importance of crafting a plan that can help navigate what should be a happy time of year. What about relatives who might say offensive or insensitive things? Dr. Lisa describes how helping kids learn how to deal with them can turn awkward interactions into valuable teachable moments. Lisa and Reena draw from life on the high seas as they explain how establishing “submarine rules” might be an effective strategy in some homes this season.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Additional resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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56: Encore - My Child is Turning Into a Teenager. How Do I Handle It? Nov 16, 2021

Managing the teenage years can be overwhelming. Dr. Lisa explains what the toughest year is for teens and why. When kids hit thirteen they often become highly emotional. What happens in the brain and the body during this time? Dr. Lisa discusses the process of "separation-individuation" where young people seek to define their own identities - often by being hard on their folks.

Parents sometimes assume that age thirteen is the beginning of adolescence. But is it really? And how can you help a tween or teen who's having an emotional meltdown? Dr. Lisa has good news: the intensity of early adolescence doesn’t last forever and there are effective things parents can do to manage bumpy moments with their teen.

More resources:

BOOK 14 Talks by Age 14: The Essential Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids Before They Start High School

By Michelle Icard

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55: How Do I Keep My Kids Grounded in a Materialistic World? Nov 09, 2021

What should parents do when their kids want to own the same luxury goods that belong to some of their friends and classmates? Dr. Lisa explains how we can respond to requests for expensive gifts, and how that conversation will change depending on a kid's age. Reena asks what parents can do at home to get their kids to see past wealth and craving costly things. Dr. Lisa details how conversations about materialism can open the door to talking about service, savings, and family values.

Book: The Opposite of Spoiled by Ron Lieber

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Ask Lisa is produced by:

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54: How and When Do I Give My Kid a Phone? Nov 02, 2021

What’s the right age to get your kid a cell phone? Dr. Lisa and Reena look at the research on both sides of the debate. When a parent writes in asking if thirteen might be the right age, Lisa shares what parents should consider before handing their kid a first phone. She also explains how you can hit the reset button with kids who may already have a phone and Reena asks what parents can say to their kids when they want to hold off. Lisa also talks about the one reason when you absolutely should get your kid a phone and how modeling good digital habits can make a difference.

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Additional resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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53: Should I Comment on My Child’s Weight? Oct 26, 2021

How do we teach kids healthy eating habits without focusing on calories or portion size? A parent writes in asking for advice about whether she should say something about her daughter's increasing weight. Dr. Lisa explains how to approach the delicate topics of food and weight and what should be discussed. Reena asks what it means to be of a “healthy weight.” Lisa also names the four power struggles that parents will want to avoid - because the kid has all the power.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

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52: What Do Parents Need to Know About Edibles? Oct 19, 2021

Dr. Lisa offers a deep-dive into the world of edible marijuana and how to talk with your child about the dangers of trying edibles. Reena asks what’s the difference between CBD and THC? How does marijuana affect the brain? What age should parents talk to their kids about edibles and should they say? In Parenting to Go, Lisa also explains that while parents may understandably want to avoid difficult conversations, if our kids are dealing with a tricky topic, we need to be ready to deal with it too.

Lisa’s NYT Column

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/10/19/well/family/weed-edibles-teens.html?searchResultPosition=1

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Welcome to Ask Lisa! Oct 14, 2021

Raising kids can be a bumpy, stressful, and uncertain process – which is why Lisa’s podcast brings her sane, informed, and practical perspective to your timely and timeless parenting questions. Cohost Reena Ninan, a world-class journalist who has covered the White House while packing a breast pump, makes sure to get you the answers you need.

GOT A PARENTING QUESTION YOU’D LIKE US TO TACKLE?

Send it to me at asklisa@drlisadamour.com – I’d love to hear from you.

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51: I Hate Nagging My Kids. What Else Works? Oct 12, 2021

At what age should kids be expected to manage their responsibilities without constant reminders? Dr. Lisa explains how parents can help kids remember to do things on their own. What else works besides nagging? Reena asks for strategies to help parents at home. Lisa introduces us to psychologist Haim Ginott who offers the perfect phrasing for motivating kids.

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50: How Do I Build My Kid’s Confidence and Self-Esteem? Oct 05, 2021

Where do confidence and self-esteem come from? What contributes to kids' highs and lows and how can parents help kids build a sturdy sense of self-esteem? Dr. Lisa describes the age at which self-esteem tends to drop off and the impact of gender. Reena asks how culture and race can affect self-esteem and confidence. Dr. Lisa explains what psychologists mean when they talk about "unconditional positive regard."

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

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49: Should My Teen Socialize With Unvaccinated Friends? Sep 28, 2021

A Mom writes in from the deep South with concerns about whether to allow her daughter to socialize with a good friend who is unvaccinated. Dr. Lisa discusses the importance of framing the issue around the child’s safety while allowing the kid to guide the conversation. Reena asks how parents can weigh the mental health risks of not being socially active against the possibility of catching Covid. Dr. Lisa explains how parents can help their children assess these risks. Should the Mom reach out to the other family? Dr. Lisa talks about when a parent should make that call.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

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48: How Often Should I Be in Touch with My College Freshman? Sep 21, 2021

Getting into college is hard work. So how do you raise kids who will thrive once they get there? Dr. Lisa explains how parents can prepare their kids to succeed when they become independent (hint: it's not about academics). When should a parent be concerned about a child who does not communicate with them? Is there such a thing as providing too much long-distance emotional support?

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47: Should Teens Be Allowed to Drink at Home? Sep 14, 2021

Dr. Lisa and Reena get a letter from parents who are torn about allowing their underaged child to drink in their home. Dad wants the child to feel comfortable around alcohol, but Mom is not comfortable serving their teenager at home and wonders whether it's even legal to do so. Lisa explains what really matters in preparing your child for encounters with alcohol when parents are not around. She explains the concepts of hot and cold cognition and how they shape teen's choices. Reena asks, "What really works in making teens understand the consequences of drinking?"

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Additional resources:

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46: How Do You Help a Kid Who Shuts You Out? Sep 07, 2021

You’ve heard people say, “I want to get this off my chest,” but what if your kid doesn’t know how to express emotion? How do you get children and teenagers to talk? Dr. Lisa explains the term "emotional regulation," and how parents can help kids manage their feelings effectively. Reena asks, "What if you’re a parent who struggles with managing your own emotions?" Lisa explains how both parents and children can benefit from thinking in terms of learning how to express, and contain, emotions.

Events:

Join Lisa, Dr. Anthony Fauci, New York Times journalists (who are parents themselves) Apoorva Mandavilli, a science reporter, and moderator Andrew Ross Sorkin, Times columnist as they take your questions about kids and Covid on Sept 9th 1pm est.

RSVP below.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/12/science/fauci-kids-and-covid-event.html

Read Lisa’s latest New York Times Column:

How to Support Teenagers as They Head Back to School

Listen to Reena's new daily news podcast "The Recount Daily Pod."

Dr. Lisa joined Reena on her new morning news podcast.... The Recount Daily Pod... to talk about stress and trauma.

You can listen & subscribe to "The Recount Daily Pod":

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-recount-daily-pod/id1574219377?i=1000533968493

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45: I Don't Like My Kid's Friends. What Do I Do? Aug 31, 2021

Is it ever too late to help your child rethink a friendship? How do you lay the groundwork to help children choose the right people to be in their lives? Dr. Lisa explains how the friends our kids chose can also give us a window into the people they may date. Even during the teenage years Lisa says there are ways to help foster new friendships. Reena asks when should a parent intervene.

Read Lisa’s latest New York Times Column:

How to Support Teenagers as They Head Back to School

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Additional resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by:

www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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44: Seriously?! How Do I Face Back-to-School 2021? Aug 24, 2021

Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan kick off Season Two of Ask Lisa by talking about how to cope with another school year under Covid-19. They tackle a letter from a parent seeking advice on how to deal with her own anxiety about kids going back to school as the Delta variant rages. She is exhausted and does not see relief coming any time soon. How do we help our kids feel school-ready when we are running on empty?

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Additional resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

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43: What Should My Kids Do This Summer? Jun 08, 2021

Should we be pushing children and teens to make up for lost learning this summer? Or should we let them call the shots on how they spend their time? What really matters most? Dr. Lisa has advice that might seem counterintuitive for parents who feel ready to charge ahead. A mom writes in asking for advice on how to think about summer schedules for her three kids. Reena seeks guidance on managing social media and video games once school lets out. Dr. Lisa and Reena talk about what families should focus on when making summer plans. In this final episode of the season, Lisa and Reena also explain how to stay connected with the podcast this summer. Season Two starts August 24th.

Objective Wellness is sponsoring this episode. Our listeners get 15% off their chocolate-y treat Sweet Calm made with 60% dark cacao, the calming ayurvedic herb ashwagandha, and magnesium.

Calm your mind and rediscover your inner peace. Head to wwww.ObjectiveWellness.com

Enter the ASKLISA promo code to get 15% off.

Dr. Lisa’s Summer Resource List

100 Summer Fun Ideas for Kids and Parents

100+ Things for Teens to Do This Summer

Lisa Damour's 6.1.21 New York Times column Why Teens Need a Break This Summer

Email us your questions or topics you would like us to cover to asklisa@drlisadamour.com.

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42: How Do I Talk to My Child About Racism? With Special Guest: Emmanuel Acho Jun 01, 2021

Lisa and Reena are joined by guest Emmanuel Acho, former NFL linebacker, current FoxSports analyst, host of the YouTube hit "Uncomfortable Conversations With a Black Man," and author of a book by the same name. Most recently, Emmanuel wrote the instant #1 New York Times Bestseller "Uncomfortable Conversations With a Black Boy." In a discussion both wide-ranging and deep, Emmanuel tackles how to talk with our kids about the n-word, what we can do to address systemic racism and prejudice, and what it really means for parents and their children to act as allies.

BOOK GIVEAWAY:

Enter to win one of two copies of Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Boy By Emmanuel Acho from the @asklisapodcast.

1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast

2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn)

3. Enter as many times as you'd like

4. For U.S. residents only

(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 6/7/21. Winners will be chosen at random and books will be mailed to the winners.)

Parent Promotion

Objective Wellness is sponsoring this episode. Our listeners get 15% off their chocolate-y treat Sweet Calm made with 60% dark cacao, the calming ayurvedic herb ashwagandha, and magnesium. Calm your mind and rediscover your inner peace. Head to wwww.ObjectiveWellness.com and enter the ASKLISA promo code to get 15% off.

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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41: How Do I Help My Kid Find Friends Again? May 25, 2021

The pandemic has disrupted our kids' social lives. What can parents do to help a child make new friends if they've withdrawn from their peers? How do we help kids who are reluctant to reach out, or who rub their classmates the wrong way? A mom emails about her twelve and a half-year-old daughter who was once an extrovert and now is not. Dr. Lisa explains the five categories that have been identified by research to describe kids' social profiles, and how knowing these categories helps us give children the right kind of support. Should parents try to engineer friendships? Lisa has a strong opinion on this topic while Reena asks how we can help kids find secure friendships as we emerge from Covid-19.

BOOKGIVEAWAY:

The Science of Making Friends: Helping Socially Challenged Teens and Young Adults; By Elizabeth A. Laugeson, Psy.D.

Enter to win a copy from the @asklisapodcast.

1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast

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3. Enter as many times as you'd like

4. For U.S. residents only

(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 5/31/21. Winners will be chosen at random and books will be mailed to the winners.

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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40: My Kid’s Room Is a Hot Mess. What Should I Do? May 18, 2021

Should you be concerned if your child has a messy, disorganized room? A mom emails asking for advice on how to handle a kid's room that feels out of control. Dr. Lisa introduces us to the term executive functioning, the mental processes that help with managing oneself and one's possessions. Reena asks if being disorganized as a child can lead to problems down the line. Lisa offers guidance on when it's time to step in and how to help your children organize themselves and their things.

BOOK GIVEAWAY

Enter to win a copy of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.

1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast ⁠

2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn)⁠

3. Enter as many times as you'd like⁠

4. For U.S. residents only⁠

⁠(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EDT on 5/24/21. Winner will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)

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39: How Do I Get My Kids to Stop Fighting? May 11, 2021

After more than a year of being stuck at home in a pandemic, it’s no surprise siblings are getting on each other's nerves. Should parents step in - or step back - when kids start fighting? Dr. Lisa tackles this question and also explains how parents' approach to conflict can influence how kids fight with their siblings. Reena asks how parents can keep their cool when heads are getting hot, and whether kids can really learn to manage their own conflicts. Dr. Lisa describes strategies that work having seen them in action during a unique summer job.

For Children Everywhere

www.giveindia.org

Give India helps individuals donate to NGO’s in India helping to fight the Covid-19 outbreak.

Send us your questions for our upcoming podcast on talking to kids about race with author Emmanuel Acho. Send questions to asklisa@drlisadamour.com.

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38: How Do I Teach My Kids About Consent? May 04, 2021

Talking to kids about their love lives can be uncomfortable, but discussing consent is one of the most important conversations to have with our children. Dr. Lisa explains why she feels that when we focus on consent, we are articulating the lowest possible bar for acceptable physical intimacy. She offers thoughts on how we might rethink and reframe the entire topic in order to be most helpful to our children. Reena asks: Can we change our collective mindset on consent? And how do you explain coercion and consent to children? The conversation includes a look at how pornography factors into teenagers' understanding of consensual relationships.

BOOK GIVEAWAY:

One copy each of Girls & Sex and Boys & Sex by Peggy Orenstein

Enter to win one of 2 books being given away by @asklisapodcast.

1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast

2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn)

3. Enter as many times as you'd like

4. For U.S. residents only

(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 5/10/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)

OTHER RESOURCES:

Lisa's articles from the NYT:

Talking With Both Daughters and Sons About Sex (1/11/17)

Getting ‘Consent’ for Sex Is Too Low a Bar (7/18/18)

Why Teenagers Mix Drinking and Sex (11/14/18)

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37: How Do I Know If My Child Has an Eating Disorder? Apr 27, 2021

Experts are finding that the pandemic has led to an alarming rise in eating disorders. Dr. Lisa explains how eating disorders can sneak up on families and why they can be incredibly harmful. Lisa and Reena discuss how social media can contribute to eating disorders and the fact that these illnesses affects people from all genders, economic backgrounds, and races. Early intervention matters, so what are the signs of an eating disorder? How do you talk to kids about eating disorders? And when should you seek help?

FOR CHILDREN EVERYWHERE:

Eating disorders can be linked to food insecurity. Feeding America can help you find your local food bank to make a donation.

https://www.feedingamerica.org/find-your-local-foodbank

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

Lisa’s NYT column: Eating Disorders in Teens Have 'Exploded' in the Pandemic

anorexiafamily.comHelp for parents of children and teens suffering from anorexia and other eating disorders.

feast-ed.orgF.E.A.S.T. is an international non-profit organization of and for caregivers of loved ones suffering from eating disorders.

nationaleatingdisorders.orgNEDA supports individuals and families affected by eating disorders, and serves as a catalyst for prevention, cures and access to quality care.

maudsleyparents.orgMaudsley Parents was created in 2006 by parents who helped their children recover with family-based treatment, to offer hope and help to other families confronting eating disorders.

eatingdisorders.ucsd.edu/resources/Resources recommended by the Eating Disorders Center for Treatment and Research at University of California, San Diego

www.childrenshospital.org/centers-and-services/programs/a-_-e/eating-disorders-program/helpful-linksResources recommended by the Eating Disorders Program at Boston Children’s Hospital

https://www.aedweb.org/resources/about-eating-disordersInformational resources developed by the Academy for Eating Disorders

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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36: Helping Kids Manage Grief and Loss Apr 20, 2021

"If the pandemic is about anything, it's about loss,” says Dr. Lisa Damour. Grief can come in different forms - from losing a loved one, to mourning the loss of senior year in high school, to not getting into your favorite college. How can you tell if your child is grieving and what can you do to help? Lisa and Reena examine how to support our kids as they cope with loss. Reena shares how a bouncy castle rented on the morning of her grandfather’s funeral helped her family deal with loss. Lisa discusses insights from Sigmund Freud - written over one hundred years ago - that can be helpful as we find our way through the pandemic.

Enter to win one of two copies of "Fall of Freddie the Leaf" being given away by the @asklisapodcast. The book has helped children and adults deal with the mourning process.

1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast ⁠

2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn)⁠

3. Enter as many times as you'd like⁠

4. For U.S. residents only⁠

⁠(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 4/26/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)

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Ask Lisa is produced by Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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35: Sexy Social Media. Where Should Parents Draw the Line? Apr 13, 2021

How do you talk to kids about social media postings that might cross a line? What's the best way to start a conversation with your sons and daughters about what's too sexy for public consumption? A parent writes to Lisa and Reena about the suggestive TikTok postings her daughter puts up. Lisa explains how to open up lines of communication and the guidance parents might give about posts that could be seen as provocative. Lisa also shares what she is seeing during the pandemic and details why kids post suggestive content at this age.

Enter to win one of two copies being given away by the @asklisapodcast of Lisa's fabulous New York Times best-selling book Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls.

1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast ⁠

2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn)⁠

3. Enter as many times as you'd like⁠

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⁠

(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 4/19/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)

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Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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34: How to Raise an Adult Apr 06, 2021

How do you prepare kids for life in the real world? Author Julie Lythcott-Haims joins Lisa and Reena for a conversation on the non-academic skills your children need to succeed as they move into young adulthood. Julie spent more than a decade at Stanford University, some of that time as the dean of first-year students. The women talk about how to discuss race with our children, the different chores kids should take on as they age, and the critical importance of having real responsibilities at home. Julie describes the power of positive parenting and talks about her brand-new book Your Turn: How to Be an Adult.

Enter to win one of two copies being given away by the @asklisapodcast of Julie’s new book Your Turn: How to Be an Adult.

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33: Encore Podcast: Toolbox for Terrible Times Mar 30, 2021

As we move into the next phase of this pandemic we take listeners back to an encore presentation of "Toolbox for Terrible Times: How to Manage Hopelessness and Helplessness." Lisa offers specific tools to help children with their feelings and describes the key role played by healthy psychological defenses. Reena gets emotional talking about what her son's Connecticut teacher did to prepare her students for the first day back at school. The conversation also covers psychological research on how both children and adults can significantly increase their well-being.

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32: Lying, Sneaking, Cheating. What Keeps Kids From Being Honest? Mar 23, 2021

There are many reasons why kids lie to parents. Dr. Lisa gives several explanations for why kids sometimes don’t tell the truth and shares stories from her practice of the difficult scenarios she's helped families navigate, including an example of when parents assume the worst about their teen's behavior and get kids to live down to their expectations. Dr. Lisa and Reena also discuss cheating and how what happens in the mind of a six-year-old cheater differs from cheating among high school students. Ultimately, helping kids develop a fine-tuned conscience can make all the difference when it comes to being honest.

FOR CHILDREN EVERYWHERE: First Book works with half a million teachers in underserved communities to get them books and much needed resources. The organization believes the best way out of poverty is education: www.firstbook.org

ARTICLE: Lisa's NYT article How to Help a Teen Out of a Homework Hole

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31: My Kid Looked at Porn. What Should I Do? Mar 16, 2021

Talking to a child about pornography might not be a conversation most parents think of having. However, by the age of sixteen, 90% of kids have looked at porn. Dr. Lisa Damour explains that kids' interest in sex is normal and part of healthy development. But she also explains how porn can be traumatic and confusing to kids and teens who encounter it. How do you approach the conversation and at what age should you start discussing it? Reena asks for tips on how to make these talks less uncomfortable.

BOOK GIVEAWAY

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ARTICLES

Lisa's NYT article: How to Talk to Your Teenager About Pornography

Shafia Zaloom's NYT article: Kids Are Watching Pornography. Here's How to Talk About It

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30: My Kids & I Have Hit a Wall. How Do We Keep Going? Mar 09, 2021

With the one year anniversary of the pandemic approaching there are reasons to be hopeful. The infection rates are dropping and more vaccines are being distributed. So why do so many people still feel down? Reena asks about what parents can do when they feel the ground is shifting and things are out of their control. How do we help kids manage the anxiety of starting in-person school and the persistent stress of this pandemic? Lisa talks through strategies for finding a way out of feeling anxious and depressed.

Book Giveaway!!

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29: How Do I Get My Kid Into Mindfulness? Mar 02, 2021

Finding time to quiet your mind can have real benefits for you and your child. Author, instructor, mom, and entrepreneur Mallika Chopra is our special guest. She says that meditation isn’t just repeating mantras - there are many other ways your kids can be mindful. Mallika also talks about her father Deepak Chopra and how he found meditation after going through his own personal struggles. Mindful eating is also discussed.

Book Giveaway!!

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28: Bored, Sad, & Smoking Weed: How Do We Talk to Kids About Drug Use? Feb 23, 2021

A parent writes in asking for help to address a teenager's marijuana use. Some teens are turning to drugs in this pandemic as they are looking for ways to cope with the sadness and boredom. Dr. Lisa explains what actually works in getting kids to stop using drugs and how to talk with kids in a way that's likely to keep them from becoming involved with drugs in the first place. Dr. Lisa talks about choices kids might make in the pandemic that could have irreversible consequences, while also offering tips on positive coping. Reena asks when adults should be concerned about their own behavior with regard to alcohol or marijuana use.

BOOK GIVEAWAY:

Thrivers: The Surprising Reason Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine, by Dr. Michele Borba

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27: What Do I Do When Friends and Family Don't Share Our Covid Rules? Feb 16, 2021

Should you speak up when you disagree with the approach other families are taking with their Covid rules? Reena discusses the latest news on the spread of the British mutation and Dr. Lisa describes the mental maneuvers we make when trying to rationalize behavior. How do we find peace when we feel uneasy with what other families are doing? And how do you talk with children about the fact that different families follow different rules?

For Children Everywhere - “A Million Thanks” collects and sends millions of letters thanking and supporting our active, reserve, and veteran military. Generosity can come in the form of writing letters or sending art work - all your child needs to send is a picture or note. The organization does request a $1 donation for postage as they sort letters to get into the hands of those who need the mail the most:

https://amillionthanks.org/

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26: My Child is Turning Into a Teenager. How Do I Handle It? Feb 09, 2021

When kids hit thirteen they often become highly emotional. What happens in the brain and the body during this time? Dr. Lisa explains and also talks about the process of "separation-individuation" where young people seek to define their own identities - often by being hard on their folks.

Parents sometimes assume that age thirteen is the beginning of adolescence. But is it really? And how can you help a tween or teen who's having an emotional meltdown? Dr. Lisa has good news: the intensity of early adolescence doesn’t last forever and there are effective things parents can do to manage bumpy moments with their teen.

BOOK GIVEAWAY: 14 Talks By Age 14: The Essential Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids Before They Start High School; by Michelle Icard

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25: How Do I Get My Smelly Teen to Shower? Feb 02, 2021

How do you get kids to understand the importance of hygiene? A mom writes in that her son is making life unbearable at home because he refuses to take regular showers since he has spent much of the year learning remotely. Dr. Lisa explains the concept of habituation - the process of growing accustomed to sensory input - and discusses with Reena the science behind sensation and perception. Lisa offers strategies to help kids understand why they can't smell themselves and gives guidance on when, as a parent, it's time to lay down the law. Reena and Lisa also talk about the sweet smell of success. Reena’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers made it to the Super Bowl. What life lessons can Tom Brady and Gronk teach us from the football field?

Lisa's 1/29/29 article in The New York Times: Helping a Teen Who Is Angry About House Rules on Covid

BOOK GIVEAWAY: Dr. Cara Natterson's books on puberty: "The Care & Keeping of You" (Book 1 for younger girls & Book 2 for older girls) and "Guy Stuff." Enter to win one set of all 3 books being given away by @asklisapodcast.

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24: My Daughter Is Questioning Her Gender. What Do I Do? Jan 26, 2021

A single mom writes in feeling worried because her daughter is questioning her gender. Dr. Lisa explains what we understand about gender identity and sexual orientation, and offers advice on what to do when you are at an impasse with your child. Parents often feel they need to drive the bus on getting to a desired outcome, but that's not usually the best approach. Lisa and Reena talk about how to think with your child about complex and delicate topics, and Lisa explains what teenagers really respect in adults. She also discusses research she uncovered about the parent-child relationship while writing Untangled that might surprise you.

Lisa's 10/7/20 book review in The New York Times: 'Tomboy’ Looks at Gender Roles, and Role-Playing, Through the Ages

BOOK GIVEAWAY:

Dr. Lisa Damour’s “Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood.”

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23: I Can’t Make Sense of America. What Do I Tell My Kids? Jan 19, 2021

It’s not always easy to be the grownup in the room. What are the teachable moments for our children as we watch alarming events unfold in Washington DC?

How do you move beyond intense polarization? Lisa talks about research conducted by social psychologist, Henri Tajfel, who survived WW II only because his German captors never discovered that he was Jewish. Tajfel explains how the Nazis are not so different from us. How does his research apply to present day and the recent Capitol Hill riots?

How do you help kids see when they’re dehumanizing other people? Reena asks about radicalization online and cancel culture. Lisa explains how you can help your family work against discrimination and prejudice.

Lisa's 1.7.20 article in The New York Times: Parenting While Shocked

BOOK GIVEAWAY:

New York Times personal finance columnist Ron Lieber's new book publishes next week! Enter to win one of 3 copies being given away by @asklisapodcast.

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22: My Kid Hates Remote Learning. What Do I Do? Jan 12, 2021

Parents are finding it hard to get their children to feel motivated about school, especially when they are learning remotely. Dr. Lisa explains strategies that might help and how parents can help kids keep the academic train on its tracks. Lisa and Reena talk about supporting children for whom school is an uphill battle, even under normal conditions, and what parents should do if they are the ones who feel like they are drowning. Reena talks about the emotional experience she had selling an old sofa and how it put into perspective the struggle many parents are going through.

For Children Everywhere - UNICEF works in 180 different countries and territories to save children’s lives and protect their rights.

https://www.unicef.org/

Join us this Friday, Jan 15th, 2021 at 3pm EST on Instagram Live @asklisapodcast. We will be taking your parenting questions live!

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21: How Do I Hit the Reset Button for 2021? Jan 05, 2021

Lisa and Reena kick off the new year with a look at positive psychology. What is it and how exactly does it work? How do you stay positive when things aren’t rosy? Reena asks about the psychology of manifesting. Does it really work? They also look at sadness and happiness. Lisa shares why the two emotions don't cancel each other out but, instead, often live side by side. In other words, the presence of negative does not mean the absence of positive. Lisa explains that what psychologists call "pleasure scheduling" can help boost mood and also covers the critical importance of our personal running narratives - or "self-talk."

For Children Everywhere - Brain & Behavior Research Foundation is the nation’s top non-governmental founder of mental health research grants to scientists. Www.BBRFoundation.org

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20: Kids & Covid: Pediatrician & Covid-19 Expert Dr. Cara Natterson Answers Your Questions Dec 22, 2020

When can your kids get vaccinated? If my child has recovered from Covid-19, how long does immunity last? How do you know when it’s really safe to send your kids back to school? Lisa and Reena get answers to key medical questions about kids and Covid-19 with special guest expert, pediatrician Dr. Cara Natterson.

CARA NATTERSON, MD, is a pediatrician who has been helping schools with Covid-19 health and safety plans and a New York Times bestselling author of puberty and parenting books. Dr. Natterson pens a weekly newsletter about the intersection of science, parenting, and the coronavirus. Learn more about Dr. Natterson and subscribe to her newsletter at www.worryproofmd.com.

For Children Everywhere - The American Lung Association supports your breath through education, advocacy and groundbreaking research. With COVID-19, the lung disease that has stopped the world, support to the Lung Association is needed now more than ever. Donate at www.lung.org

Talk to your child about vaping with the American Lung Association's Get Your Head Out of the Cloud conversation guide. Lisa was honored to help develop the conversation guide in collaboration with the American Lung Association.

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19: How Will the Pandemic Affect my Child Long-term? Dec 15, 2020

We like to think that time can heal a lot, but when do we need to worry about the pandemic's lasting impact on our children? Lisa introduces us to the concept of “ordinary magic” - protective processes that happen at home which can shield children from persistently difficult circumstances. Lisa and Reena discuss the research on resilience and what it teaches us about kids who thrive during hardship and how parents can help.

Resources on resiliency:

Check out Reena’s show on YouTube “The Rebound” for stories of how people have made it out of their hardest moments @itstherebound: bit.ly/381xcAf

“Ordinary Magic” a book by psychologist Dr. Ann Masten. https://www.guilford.com/books/Ordinary-Magic/Ann-Masten/9781462523719/reviews

For Children Everywhere - Blessings in a Backpack mobilizes communities, individuals, and resources to provide food for elementary school children across America who might otherwise go hungry. Donate at www.blessingsinabackpack.org

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18: Can Online Socializing Go Too Far? Dec 08, 2020

What’s the limit for children socializing online? Many kids use social media to connect with their friends and as an escape from the monotony of this pandemic. Lisa walks us through the pros and cons of being online - from when getting lost in distractions can be a good thing to when digital technology can be detrimental to a child’s development. Lisa and Reena unpack the research on how best to take a break, especially when our kids (or we!) need to give the body a rest from stress hormones or clear out mental clutter. The episode wraps up by answering a critical question: When is it time to be concerned about our kids' online social activity?

For Children Everywhere - Crisis Text Line is free 24/7 support for those in crisis. Text 741 741 from anywhere in the US to reach a trained crisis counselor. www.crisistextline.org

Lisa’s most recent NYT column: How Teens Use Downtime to Connect, Distract or Reflect

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17: How Do I Get My Kid To Open Up? Dec 01, 2020

How do you approach your child when you know they may be struggling but won’t open up? Lisa shares what she learned when she asked teens why they sometimes clam up around their parents. Lisa and Reena consider how much parents really need to know about the details of their kid's lives and the different ways to support children and help them process their emotions, even when they play their cards close to their chests. For parents who feel that their kid broke up with them, how do you regain their trust? When should you really start to worry?

For Children Everywhere - KIVA crowd funds loans for businesses in over 80 countries. The borrowers have a 96% repayment rate. Once repayment is made, you can resend again to someone else. One hundred percent of the money you give goes straight to funding the loans.

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16: How Do You Handle Holidays in a Pandemic? Nov 24, 2020

Navigating the holidays under Covid has its own pressures. A season that should be marked by joy is being met with sadness and loss by so many. Lisa explains how taking time to mourn the temporary loss of our regular traditions can help us deal with, and move past, these emotions. Understanding that it won’t always feel this way can help children cope with uncertainty. The silver lining is that finding our way through intensely sad times helps to build resilience.

For Children Everywhere - Feeding America is the nation’s largest domestic hunger-relief organization. It has served over 40 million people through food banks and meal programs: www.feedingamerica.org

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15: How Has the Pandemic Changed College Admissions? Nov 17, 2020

High school seniors are feeling the disruption of the pandemic as they tackle the college admissions process. How do we help them manage these uncertain times while they plan the next chapter of their lives?

Special guest and New York Times bestselling author Jeff Selingo joins us to answer your questions about applying to college in a pandemic. Drawing on research from his brand new book, Who Gets In & Why: A Year Inside College Admissions, Jeff explains what he learned while embedded with three university admissions offices. How do admissions gatekeepers decide who gets in? How can applicants stand out? Are schools doing away with the SAT/ACT? How much do grades really matter? How are universities changing their approach to admissions in light of the pandemic? Jeff answers these questions and more.

For Children Everywhere - Girlstart inspires girls in STEM. Their mission is to increase girls’ interest and engagement in STEM through innovative, informal STEM education programs: www.girlstart.org

For more on Jeff Selingo, check out https://www.jeffselingo.com/

Lisa's New York Times article about taking a gap year: Getting Into College Doesn't Mean Students are Ready to Go

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14: Dads & Daughters, Mothers & Sons: How Does Gender Shape Parenting? Nov 10, 2020

How do dads differ from moms when it comes to raising kids? Lisa unpacks the research on the different roles each parent plays while pointing out that there are no hard and fast gender lines in parenting and that you don't have to be a parent to play a powerful role in a child's life. Lisa and Reena talk about the dynamics that often unfold between dads and daughters and mothers and sons, especially in the context of adolescence. What do all kids want? They want to feel valued and admired.

For Children Everywhere - Jumpstart is a national early education organization giving kids help with literacy and social-emotional programming for preschool children from under-resourced communities. It promotes quality early learning for all children: https://www.jstart.org/

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13: How Do I Motivate My Kid to Do Homework? Nov 03, 2020

Students are finding it hard to focus on school in the midst of a pandemic. But laying a good foundation for how homework gets done is a skill that can be carried into adulthood. Lisa explains the psychological research behind two different kinds of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. Is it appropriate to reward kids for doing their work? Lisa discusses what parents can do to help kids self-motivate and stay on task.

Lisa's October column in The New York Times: How to Do School When Motivation Has Gone Missing https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/29/well/family/teenagers-motivation-school.html

For Children Everywhere - GoFundMe.org’s Covid-19 Relief Fund financially supports people impacted by the pandemic and organizations helping with relief efforts: https://www.gofundme.com/f/covid19-relief-cause-fund

Special Guest Jeff Selingo, author of “Who Gets In and Why: A Year Inside College Admissions,” will be joining us in an upcoming episode. Send us your college admission questions to AskLisa@DrLisaDamour.com and we'll pose them to Jeff.

Follow us on Instagram at @asklisapodcast @Lisa.Damour @ReenaNinan

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12: What Can Kids Learn from a Tense Election? Oct 27, 2020

How can parents help children cultivate the ability to have tough conversations? How do we teach tolerance? Lisa explains the building blocks of civil discourse and the emotional and developmental skills that help kids engage peers constructively on the charged topics of politics and race.

Laurel's Center for Research on Girls, civil discourse resources (scroll down for "Engaging in Civil Discourse" brief): https://lcrg.laurelschool.org/research/lcrg-research-briefs

For Children Everywhere - iCivics is an online resource founded in 2009 by Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor to provide free resources for civics education: https://www.icivics.org

The Rebound: Watch the first episode on how a former NFL player rebounded from police brutality. New YouTube show hosted by Reena Ninan about coming out of your worst moments: www.youtube.com/TheReboundwithReenaNinan

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11: Where's the Line Between Being Healthy and Having an Eating Disorder? Oct 20, 2020

Eating concerns are an issue in many families, especially during the Coronavirus pandemic. What should a parent look out for? When is it time to be concerned? And what happens in the mind of someone who struggles with an eating disorder? A new survey by WETA/PBS Newshour finds that teenagers ranked body image as their top source of concern in the pandemic - with boys expressing this worry almost as often as girls. Lisa looks at the factors exacerbating this problem: social media, the wish for control, and more.

Lisa is also featured in a virtual conversation sponsored by WETA/PBS Newshour called “Wellbeings: Teens, Covid, and Coping.” Watch at: https://wellbeings.org/

For Children Everywhere - Chef Jose Andres’ World Central Kitchen which provides food where it’s needed the most from voting polls to disaster areas: https://wck.org/

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

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10: How Do I Parent When I Feel Like I’m Drowning? Oct 13, 2020

Parents are faced with new pressures under Covid-19, and many of us are barely holding it together. When does having personal struggles translate into bad parenting? While it's important to be honest with our kids, Lisa explains what’s not okay for your kids to see and experience as you are working through a difficult time. Adding to the pressure, many parents have lost their supportive networks. We no longer see other parents during school pick-up or on the sidelines of soccer games. It may be time to find our new “soccer sideline” groups. Reena also talks about her fear of winter coming in a brainstorming session about how we'll cope. Lisa explains the research on how having breaks to look forward to can help your mental health.

Lisa & Reena also announce a new weekly segment called “For Children Everywhere.” One charity will be spotlighted each week for listeners who would like to donate. This week's organization, "Women's Bean Project" is based in Lisa’s hometown of Denver, Colorado. It helps unemployed women return to the work force: https://www.womensbeanproject.com/

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

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9: What to Do When Kids Don’t Listen: Advice for Threenagers to Teenagers Oct 06, 2020

What really works when kids just won’t listen? Dr. Lisa explains there are two different mental states that parents should toggle between — warm parent and robot parent. She explains how cultivating a joyful relationship with kids puts money in the account from which parents write their disciplinary checks. If you're clashing with your teen, it’s never too late to turn things around. And those raising younger kids find out why it's often harder to parent age three than age two (hint: threes enjoy mean fun).

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

Charity of the Week - For Children Everywhere: https://www.childrenshopeindia.org/

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8: Apathetic, Cranky, Frustrated: Dealing with Kids' Distress About School Sep 29, 2020

What should parents do when their kids are fed up and unhappy about school? Psychologists are witnessing the rise of emotional distress in children as they try to manage their disrupted academic year. Stress is processed in different ways by different children - some become anxious and sad, and some act out. How do you get kids to pivot from bad behavior? Dr. Lisa decodes how to identify and work through emotional distress.

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

Charity of the Week - For Children Everywhere: https://www.modestneeds.org/

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7: When Is Anxiety a Disorder? When Does Sadness Become Depression? Sep 22, 2020

Anxiety often serves as a normal and useful warning system - an emotional alarm that rings when something isn't right. Lisa discusses the difference between healthy and unhealthy anxiety, and explains how anxiety changes the activity of the heart and lungs. She provides tips on how to counter anxiety by harnessing the connection between the lungs and the brain.

What is the difference between sadness and depression? When should we be concerned about the possibility of suicide? Lisa and Reena also consider common warning signs. The show ends on an upbeat note about effective psychological interventions for treating anxiety and depression.

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

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6: Will the Pandemic Disrupt My Kid’s Social Development? Sep 15, 2020

When should parents hit the panic button over their child’s social development? A mom writes in about her shy, introverted teen, wondering if her daughter has enough contact with friends. What key milestones might kids be missing as a result of the coronavirus pandemic? Lisa walks us through the development of social skills from infancy through college age, describing what we should keep an eye on and what we can do at home to help kids build the skills they need.

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

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5: Toolbox for Terrible Times: Managing Helplessness and Hopelessness Sep 08, 2020

How do we get through the pandemic without losing our minds? Lisa offers parents four distinct tools to help ourselves and our children through these challenging times. The specific tools are "feeling with" children, supporting healthy psychological defenses, having the right words for painful emotions, and finding ways - like using humor- to rally when we're feeling down. Reena gets emotional talking about what a teacher did to prepare her students for the first day back. Also explained is a key psychological research finding on how people can significantly increase their well-being.

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

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4: Helping Kids Eat Well and Stay Active Under Covid-19 Sep 01, 2020

How do we encourage our kids to be active when they want to couch surf? Lisa tackles a listener’s question about a tween who has become sedentary during the pandemic. As much of the U.S. is getting back to school—often with distance learning—exercising, eating well, and maintaining routines now matter more than ever. Talking to kids about healthy eating comes with an unexpected lesson from a famous neighborhood—Sesame Street.

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

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3: How to Deal with Conflict While Stuck at Home Aug 28, 2020

Conflict is unavoidable. Having a strategy can help. Divorce rates have increased in some countries under lockdown from Covid-19. When can a relationship not be repaired? How do we teach our kids to deal with conflict? Lisa covers the research on how to get out of an impasse, especially when parenting teens. Reena shares high school teacher Mrs. Jackson’s words on conflict resolution. How do we come to terms with negative emotions and hit the restart button? How do we get along when we're all stuck at home?

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

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1: Parenting During a Pandemic Aug 24, 2020

How can you tell when your child is not coping well during this Covid-19 pandemic? Dr. Lisa breaks down what to watch for in a child’s behavior. How much screen time is bad for a child’s brain? She also explains the term “learned helplessness.”

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

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2: Back to School During Coronavirus Aug 24, 2020

Uncertainty surrounds this school year amid all the Covid-19 news. Dr. Lisa talks about what families need most as they juggle working from home and school. How do you respond when everything seems out of your control? Reena discusses some of the work-life tradeoffs that she has struggled to manage, including making the hard choice to go to Benghazi with her breast pump.

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

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