Ask Kati Anything

Latest Episodes:

"Could my siblings have emotionally abused me?" ep.206 Mar 07, 2024

Show notes

This week on Ask Kati Anything, licensed therapist Kati Morton discusses the line between normal sibling relationships and emotional abuse, shutting down in therapy, and how to know if we are oversharing. She explains how mental illnesses can sometimes follow patterns in their symptomatology, why we can struggle with self care, and our urge to diffuse situations with laughter.

Questions & timestamps:

1. Where is the line between normal sibling relationships and emotional abuse? My therapist seems to think my sister is emotionally abusive, but aren’t all siblings aholes to each other? 00:36

2. My question is about shutting down in therapy and being unable to talk during a therapy session. Recently I have been looking for a new therapist, but I haven't been able to find someone that I'm comfortable with. The problem is that in the first 1-2 sessions I shut down and feel unable to talk. Different therapists handle this differently, but for the most part they just let me sit there. I have spent entire sessions in shut down mode and we just sit there doing nothing.... 05:41

3. I'm wondering if you can talk a bit about "oversharing". I feel like it's a relatively-new term to me, and I'm wondering how to tell if someone is doing it. Is it OK to have some people we tell literally EVERYTHING to, even when it's TMI? Or are there some things that should always be private? In cases where we've... 15:03

4. Why is it the case that mental illnesses "follow patterns"? In the sense that they can be categorized into illnesses. Like why is it "natural" to get addicted or get an ED when something is missing in life. Why are these patterns natural consequences that happen for so many people even if one does not know of the existence of these illnesses?" 25:19

5. My question is why do I have trouble engaging in self care and having a hard time finding coping skills that work for me? I have things that I have enjoyed doing in the past but just can't seem to do any of them. Can I count tv watching and internet scrolling self care? I know I need some coping skills if I want to deal with childhood trauma (not sure I want to go there). Can coping skills also be self care and vice versa? 30:50

6. I'm an awkward laugher. My way of diffusing situations used to be to make them lighthearted- that was literally my role. It's so ingrained into me now, that it's just instinctively what I go to, even when it's really not appropriate. I feel like I've also used it so much in every part of my life, that I don't really feel anything. Everything is just... a big joke? I feel like I physically can't even stop it now. I don't even know where to begin in correcting this, or if it's even fixable now so any tips would be appreciated! 36:18

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MY BOOKS (in stores now) ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Traumatized⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Are u ok?⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BetterHelp⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://betterhelp.com/kati⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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"Why don't I like people being proud of me?" ep. 205 Feb 29, 2024

Show notes

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton explains why it can feel so bad when our therapist is proud of us, how we can end therapy when we have attachment issues, and how therapists alter their treatment depending on our diagnoses. She then talks about why an eating disorder often comes with a food obsession, what we can do when we are terrified of people not liking us, and finally, she walks us through what to do with our complicated feelings towards an abusive parent.

Questions & timestamps

At the end of a super emotionally charged session with my therapist where I shared something really difficult that I’ve never talked about with anyone, my therapist said, “You’re doing it!” I knew she meant that I was healing but I felt really shitty during the session and for days afterwards. How do you know when you’ve worked through something and have fully processed it? 1:23
Could you please talk about ending therapy while having attachment issues? My therapist is pregnant and will be going on maternity leave in a few weeks. I've actually been thinking about ending therapy for quite a while but the fact that my therapist is now leaving and effectively ending the therapy has triggered feelings of abandonment in me. I suddenly feel mentally really bad again. 12:28
I was wondering if therapists change the ways of doing therapy based off of the diagnosis the client may have. Would a therapist work differently with a client who had Bipolar 2 vs a client who has ADHD or from one who has OCD? I hope this question isn’t too complicated and I just want you to know I love your work! I am always excited to see your videos every week! 22:43
Why is it that restrictive eating disorders often include an obsession with food, even though it’s the thing we’re avoiding? I’ve been highly restricting for about 2 months and have become kind of obsessed with grocery stores. I go anywhere from 3-5 times a week, usually making small purchases each time. I have a ton of snacks and “binge food” in my room that I’ve accumulated, but don’t eat. It’s like I’m punishing myself by having food in sight that I don’t allow myself to have. I spend so much time on grocery apps/websites analyzing nutrition labels and filling imaginary carts with things I wish I could eat. All of this takes up so much of my time and headspace. 25:58
I’m terrified of people not liking me. I don’t know why but if I feel like if I mess up or am annoying or something people aren’t going to like me and they won’t want to hangout with me anymore and they will leave me. I'm so afraid of this that I... 31:09
Can you talk about dealing with conflicted feelings towards abusive parents? I need distance to feel safe enough to work through trauma from csa, but at the same time I do miss them, love them and don‘t want them to be sad. I feel like a huge disappointment to them. I don‘t know how to keep the relationship, how to be a good daughter. 37:42

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MY BOOKS (in stores now) ⁠⁠⁠⁠Traumatized⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Are u ok?⁠⁠⁠⁠ ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, ⁠⁠⁠⁠BetterHelp⁠⁠⁠⁠ can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://betterhelp.com/kati⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Is It Depression or Something Else? Navigating the Gray Areas | ep.204 Feb 22, 2024

Show notes

This week licensed therapist, Kati Morton explains the difference between depression and general disappointment. She also gives us options for ways to reward ourselves that don’t involve food or spending a lot of money, and discusses the reasons we may feel too broken for therapy. Then she offers some ways people pleasers can do the necessary things that will end up hurting someone’s feelings, and the difference between rumination and healthy processing. Finally, she explains what fear of rejection is and how it differs from fear of abandonment.

AUDIENCE QUESTIONS

1. My question is about distinguishing between depression (or another mental disorder) and general disappointment or dissatisfaction with life. What would you say to someone who was not feeling happy about being alive but also not necessarily depressed or mentally ill? What if you just feel you don't like life and you don't particularly enjoy it? What if your dissatisfaction with life is just a combination of your personality, your resilience and...

2. How can I reward myself? I had an eating disorder and I feel like I am shopping too much. How can I reward myself without subconsciously supporting old behavior?

3. I feel like I’m too broken for therapy. I have a fear of abandonment and I think it makes therapy really hard for me. I find it so hard to actually get help because I’m so afraid of losing my therapist. I don’t want to open up and get attached because I know it’s not forever. And the more I share the more afraid I am that she is going to leave me. I can’t stop thinking about...

4. Do you have any tips for people pleasers who are struggling to do things that are necessary but will upset other people? Like breaking up with someone you’re dating when you can tell it isn’t working out or setting boundaries with a friend you care about but who is taking advantage of your willingness to help?

5. Could you talk about the difference between healthy emotional processing vs rumination?

6. Hey Kati, can you explain the fear of rejection vs fear of abandonment. I feel like a lot of people think it’s the same. I have CPTSD. I don’t fear abandonment. I actually expect it...

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MY BOOKS (in stores now) ⁠⁠⁠Traumatized⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Are u ok?⁠⁠⁠ ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, ⁠⁠⁠BetterHelp⁠⁠⁠ can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: ⁠⁠⁠https://betterhelp.com/kati⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠PATREON⁠⁠⁠ https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ YOU CAN SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS

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When is it okay to reach out to my therapist? | ep. 203 Feb 15, 2024

Show notes

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton answers audience questions about when and why we would need to reach out to our therapist in between sessions, whether or not therapists judge our “crazy” thoughts, and the difference between fidgeting and self injury. She then talks about dissociation, the different diagnoses and symptoms, and how to work through it. Finally, she discusses why it can be hard for us to get away from our abusers, and some nice ways of telling people we can’t be there for them right now.

AUDIENCE QUESTIONS

1. Hi Kati! My therapist always says that I can reach out to her any time that I’m in crisis. I never do even when I’m feeling really down, anxious, and/or dysregulated because I’m not and have never had suicidal or self-harming behaviors. But I’ve gone through some really tough emotions and thoughts when I wanted to reach out. What does it mean to be “in crisis” and when is it appropriate to reach out to your therapist outside of your sessions?

2. What goes on in a therapists head when their client is saying something that the therapist thinks is “crazy”? Does the therapist ever have a hard time not judging or showing judgment to their client by accident? Thanks for all you do and the time and effort you put in every week!

3. My question is about anxiety fidgeting and self injury. In my therapy sessions, especially if we are talking about a hard topic, I tend to pinch and scratch my hands, to the point where I leave with red marks and sometimes bruises on them. I don’t realize I’m doing it because I’m so focused on the topic at hand and explaining my thoughts clearly to my therapist. Is this just anxiety? Or is this self injury? Either way I don’t know if it’s bad or typical or just plain fidgeting. Thanks for everything!

4. I dissociate a lot. Sometimes I do things that I have no memory of. Thankfully, nothing bad. A lot of times when I dissociate I become a little girl. She emails my therapist, colors Winnie the Pooh pictures for her. Sometimes I am like a very angry teenager. I don’t have DID that we know of, but something is happening. There are also times that I feel as if I’m not really me being a mom to my kids, but I cover it so well that they...

5. I hope you don't mind me asking this question again as it didn't get picked the last time. Why is it so hard to walk away from your abusers? In my case it is moving out from home. (I'm in my early twenties).

6. I’m the friend that people tend to come to when they need to vent. All of my friends and family know if they need someone I’ll be there! Sometimes though I get overwhelmed with that. Is there a nice way to explain that I am not able to listen to them vent right now? Thanks Kati!!

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MY BOOKS (in stores now) ⁠⁠Traumatized⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Are u ok?⁠⁠ ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, ⁠⁠BetterHelp⁠⁠ can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: ⁠⁠https://betterhelp.com/kati⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠PATREON⁠⁠ https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ YOU CAN SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS

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"How do I keep up with life?" | ep.202 Feb 08, 2024

Show notes

On Ask Kati Anything ep. 202 licensed therapist, Kati Morton talks about job-related trauma, medical trauma, and managing life and expectations when we struggle with depression and bouts of suicidal thoughts. She then digs into some tips for opening up in therapy, what it really looks like to ask for help, and explains what eldest daughter syndrome is.

AUDIENCE QUESTIONS

1. My question is about job-related trauma. I’m a school crisis interventionist and work with students who can become really dysregulated and physical. Could this physical aggression towards me be considered traumatic?

2. Could you talk more about how to handle life if you struggle with chronic bouts of depression and/or suicidality but you still need to achieve goals and keep your job? It's one thing to take time off when you're acutely struggling, but an entirely different one to you struggling for years on end and even with the perfect treatment (in my case, at least) still often have many hours, days, even weeks when you can barely get anything done.

3. Any tips to open up in therapy? I feel like I tense up every session and no words come out, so I end up just not talking all session even though I want to. I trust my therapist so I know it’s not that, yet I still don’t feel comfortable talking and don’t know what to do about it.

4. Please Kati talk about medical trauma while battling chronic Terminal illness & how to beat it..I'm currently in This situation..I honestly want to give up having meds, seeing drs or even eating.. I'm exhausted from so many appointments for so many years to end up sicker than expected & on top of it being treated badly due to my rare illness..I'm very unwell mentally more than physically, there's no known cure for my diseases and I even lost my ability to speak as a result...

5. Hi Kati, for those of us who couldn't rely on anyone as a child. What do people mean by asking for help or asking for support? What would it mean if I asked for help? What could someone do to help make it better? What are the options? As a child, I have learnt that if I freeze, it will work itself out. But if I were to stand up, I would get hurt...

6. I was wondering if you could share your thoughts on "eldest daughter syndrome". Is this something that can happen even if your parents weren't uninvolved or unable to show up for important aspects? Is it even real/factually supported?

MY BOOKS (in stores now) ⁠Traumatized⁠ ⁠Are u ok?⁠ ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, ⁠BetterHelp⁠ can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: ⁠https://betterhelp.com/kati⁠⁠

PATREON⁠ https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ YOU CAN SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS

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"Is my therapist bored with me?" | ep.201 Feb 06, 2024

Show notes

This week licensed therapist, Kati Morton explains her feelings about not seeing clients anymore, why some of us can’t stop thinking about our therapist no matter how hard we try, and why we can obsess over eating disorder content. She then talks about why our struggles can be inconsistent, how to deal with a child who has BPD, and the effects of financial trauma. Finally, she explains what emotional neglect is and how it can play out as we grow up. Ask Kati Anything audience questions for podcast ep. 201 1. I was wondering if you could tell us more about how you feel about not working with clients anymore, the reasons you've stopped and whether you ever miss it? 2. I wanted to ask why I can't stop thinking about my therapist no matter how hard I try. I spend hours of my day either googling her up, or trying to find a way to hear her voice or find a picture. I feel horrible for invading her privacy, but no matter what I do I can't seem to stop. Even though I find the same things online every time I search her up, I still continue to do it for hours hoping to find something new. Afterwards I feel extremely guilty and I can't sleep, and I want to punish myself... 3. I would love some feedback on why I seem to obsess over eating disorder content. Lately I have been obsessed with books, movies, & videos about EDs. I have gone through several periods like this in the past (the obsession seems to only last for like a week each time). I can’t seem to focus on anything else, which makes it hard for me to concentrate at work & to talk to my husband about how I am doing. 4. Why do I feel like my struggles are never consistent? I feel like one week I’m struggling a lot with my ED, another week I can’t stop thinking and getting urges to SH (and then feeling guilty for always doing it), and then a different week I have breakdowns, panic attacks, and crying spells due to some traumatic things that happened not so long ago. 5. Hi Kati...this is a difficult question to ask. Almost 5 years ago our young adult son moved out of our home leaving only a note that said "moved" on it. He cut off all communication with his dad and me and has very little with his older sister. A year prior to him leaving he was diagnosed with BPD after self admitting himself to a mental health facility. When he came home we had a roller coaster year with him, especially me. I am struggling badly with the idea of never seeing him again...and am filled with shame and guilt. I don't want this last several chapters of my life to be this...I am now agoraphobic, lonely and so depressed. I need joy back in my life. Who knows, perhaps by writing this comment I will find my joy. 6. My question is about the constant worry about finances. I’m hoping this question may resonate with someone else out there. So, for as long as I can remember I’ve worried about finances so much so, that I avoid spending money on myself most of the time. If I receive a gift card from someone during the holidays I sometimes use it to buy someone else a gift for a future occasion. I often experience a pain that feels almost physical when spending money on something that isn’t a recurring expense. This is typically followed by... 7. Is it emotional neglect if your parents never played with you as a child and didn't tell you how to use feminine hygiene products when you got your period and don't share anything about themselves?

MY BOOKS (in stores now) Traumatized Are u ok? ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati

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"Why is cleaning so hard when I'm depressed?" Jan 25, 2024

Show notes

This week licensed therapist, Kati Morton talks about why cleaning can be so hard when we are depressed, the reasons we can be depressed and still function at work or school. She then discusses how we actually go about processing emotions and traumas, and why we often want to retreat to our rooms when we don’t want to deal with others in the house. She also explains what she does when a patient with an eating disorder doesn’t want to get better, and how we can rebuild trust with our therapist after a difficult session.

Ask Kati Anything audience questions for podcast ep. 200

1. Why is cleaning so hard when depressed? On a scientific and spiritual level. This can be your room, body, car, etc. (COMMENTS: Same but I have autism as well as depression and even when I break tasks down into smaller tasks the number of things I need to do just seems so overwhelming...

2. Can you be “functional “ at work and deeply depressed at the same time? Sometimes I wonder if I’m just lazy when it comes to things that aren’t required of me.

3. How do you process emotions and traumas? I have been told many times that I need to deal with emotions and process them instead of ignoring them, and it makes sense but I don’t understand how to do that.

4. I find myself retreating to my room a lot as a safe space when I don't want to deal with others in the house. Is this an unhealthy way of coping?

5. How would you react if you had a new client who engages in disordered eating but doesn’t want to change their behaviors? I started seeing a new therapist 3 weeks ago and it’s been going well so far. I have so many things that I want to work on!

6. Hi Kati! My question is about rebuilding trust with my therapist after a tough therapy appointment. My therapist told me that her clinical “sense of things” thinks I would benefit from inpatient ED treatment. I’m a teacher and could not even imagine taking more than a couple days off because I’m sick or need to take a personal day. I worry that she will judge me for continuing outpatient treatment with her. I’m also worried that my honesty with...

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What They Don't Tell You About Bipolar Disorder and Hospitalizations... | ep. 199 with Gabe Howard Jan 18, 2024

Show notes

Today Kati interviews Gabe Howard! He is a mental health advocate, speaker, and host of the inside bipolar podcast. They discuss bipolar disorder, being hospitalized for our mental illness, and the symptoms of bipolar disorder no one wants to talk about. They have an honest conversation about treatment options, managing symptoms, and breaking down that mental health stigma.

AUDIENCE QUESTIONS 1. Hello, I have bipolar 2 and was wondering if he ever felt like he had a "breakthrough" in his bipolar disorder. Not necessarily a manic episode, but a true moment of "oh....I CAN live life like this and it CAN be enjoyable". I recently had this and it's been life changing for me. I look at every day I'm alive so differently now.

2. Hi Gabe, have you gone into the hospital voluntarily or not? Are you allowed to leave when you want or do the doctors get to decide how long to keep you? Has being in the hospital been helpful or has it been more helpful to stay outpatient?Checkout Kati on Gabe's Podcast: https://megaphone.link/RVOHE7584755428

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Loneliness, Anger, Endings, & More | ep.198 Jan 11, 2024

Show notes

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about loneliness and why we can still feel lonely even after spending time with those we love. She also explains why we can struggle to express upset to those who hurt us, and almost prefer to turn it in on ourselves. Then Kati offers some ideas on how to better deal with goodbyes and endings, and times of year when more people reach out for help. She digs into ways we can love people who are hurtful to us from a distance, ECT treatment and its effects, and feelings of abandonment in our relationships.

Ask Kati Anything episode 198 audience questions:

Loneliness - mine isn’t the ‘simply be around like-minded people’ type. It’s this deep feeling - not always dark, but when it gets dark, it really feels awful, quite dangerous as well. Can you please talk about types of loneliness? Because in trying to talk about my loneliness, I often find myself in a lonelier spot....
When I get upset with someone else, I tend to feel the urge to punish myself for being upset rather than holding them accountable. Why is this happening? It’s totally destroying my mental health and relationships.
I'm looking for some tips on how I can better cope with goodbyes and endings. It's almost unreal how upset I get, even when something doesn't really mean that much to me. A co-worker I'm not even close to can retire, or a neighbor I rarely talk to can move, and it devastates me. Or a restaurant can close, or a TV show can end, and I feel sad and anxious at the thought of something being "over"...
Hi Kati! I was wondering as a therapist, if there are certain times of year that you tend to get more patients. I imagine that with health insurance deductibles resetting January 1, that many people would either start therapy or stop therapy around New Years. I also wonder if seasonal depression plays a role in this. Just curious, thanks!
Can you talk about ”loving at a distance” when one has to get away from their toxic home or parents, but still loves them and that it is possible to set boundaries and have one's own life without them in a healthy way?
I’ve been suffering from depression for quite some time and have tried many different kinds of treatments. I started doing ECT about 2 years ago and am currently on maintenance. I am embarrassed to admit it, but if I am honest with myself, I’ve kept going for a while largely for the anesthesia. I might also have developed an attachment to the care that I get as I am being prepped for the treatment.
I really struggle a lot with feeling a sense of abandonment when I'm (impatiently) waiting for a response to a text from a friend, or when I don't hear from them for a while, I automatically think the worst has happened!! For context, I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD, along with anxiety, depression & I strongly suspect CPTSD as well. Sometimes distraction or "radical acceptance" works (I have done some CBT therapy already), but not always. Any suggestions Kati?

-------- MY BOOKS (in stores now) Traumatized Are u ok? ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati

MERCHANDISE https://spreadshop-admin.spreadshirt.com/katimorton/ PATREON https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATES Instacart Amazon PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

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Grieving Unlived Lives & Finding Hope: Ask Kati Anything Ep. 197 Jan 04, 2024

Show notes

This episode of Ask Kati Anything tackles the bittersweet realities of unfulfilled expectations and lost dreams. Grieving the life you thought you’d have, parentification, emotional incest and spoucification. We also discuss why we can crave attention from people and hope that they see how badly we are doing. Then we dive into my thoughts on mental health care workers struggling with their own mental health issues, and why we can struggle to share anything with our parents. Finally, Kati offers ways to be more excited and hopeful for the future. Join Kati Morton in this empathetic and insightful episode as she guides us through navigating complex emotions, reclaiming lost selves, and ultimately finding hope amidst unlived lives.

Audience questions:

How to grieve the life you thought you'd have. i.e not having children, 40 and single/never married...
Could you please talk a bit about parentification? I believe that it can be the root of many problems and I can't find that much about it. I feel like I was raised as...
Is it "normal " that I constantly crave attention from some people (my favorite friend, therapist, doctors...), and that I wished that they could see how bad I'm doing (eating disorder).
Hi Kati! Would love to hear your take on mental health care workers who also struggle with their mental health. I volunteer for a suïcide hotline, work as a mental health professional and struggle with my own mental health. For example ptsd and depression. It seems that a lot of mental health professionals have struggled or...
Dear Kati, My parents are nice to me. However, I never feel comfortable telling my parents anything, I've become a very private person, I crave affection, but for some reason I don't feel comfortable receiving it from my parents. I also always feel distanced from them, and for some reason I never let them see me upset, or support me. I keep pushing them away even though
How can I feel excited and hopeful about my future? I am someone who lives and looks into the past a lot. A friend suggested that it could be that way because somewhere I don't feel excited about my future which is why I feel maybe all the excitement was...

MERCHANDISE https://spreadshop-admin.spreadshirt.com/katimorton/ MY BOOKS (in stores now) Traumatized Are u ok? ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati PATREON https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING... Instacart Amazon PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

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