Show notes
Are you fascinated by human behavior? Do you wonder what makes others tick? Would you like to communicate more effectively? Gretchen Rubin, the five-time New York Times bestselling author, podcaster, and speaker joins Coach Mike to share insights into The Four Tendencies that impact social interactions.
According to Gretchen, there are two kinds of expectations—outer expectations, to meet work deadlines or answer a request from a friend, for example, and inner expectations: to keep a New Year’s resolution or perform better. By asking the question, “How do I respond to expectations?” we gain important insight into ourselves: we see our “tendency”—that is, whether we fit into the category of Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel. When we ask “How do others respond to expectations?” we can understand them better through these categories as well.
Knowing our tendency means we can make better decisions, keep our promises, suffer less stress, and engage more deeply with others. Knowing other people’s Tendencies helps us work more productively and reduce conflict.
Every best selling author has a path to success. For Gretchen Rubin ten years of hard work led to her becoming an overnight success. She finds expressing herself through writing is like practicing the piano, saying “There is a lot of work that nobody ever sees. The best musicians in the world practice the most.” Gretchen shares solid, practical tips to write well: Always use the active voice. Always try to find the most precise verb. Never use an adverb; only concrete words. Avoid abstract concepts. Read the Biography of Winston Churchhill for inspiration: his writing is very direct and grounded.
Gretchen provides tips on writing a memoir and what to do when seeking to publish your book: one’s passion is not relevant to a literary agent. They want a book they can sell. One has to explain why people will buy your book.
People wanted to know more about the Four Tendencies.
The FOUR TENDENCIES -
How you respond to inner and outer expectations determines which category one is in:
Upholder: keeps deadlines, are disciplined.
Questioner: always need to know why. “I'll comply if you tell me why.”
Obliger: “You can count on me.”
Rebels - resists all pressures, “I'll do it in my own way in my own time.” If you ask them they resist. “You can’t make me and neither can I.”
She figured out the The Four Tendencies by researching habits and patterns of success, asking “what makes people do it and not do it?”
Knowing the tendencies of employees helps team building. A good team has a diversity of strengths and weaknesses. If you have all the same tendencies then this can lead to analysis paralysis.
ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE OPPOSITE. Can you argue the other side?
#Read2121 challenges people to read 21 minutes; Don’t Break The Change!
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