Ain't No Such Thing - Original Southern Horror Stories

LEGEND: The Coosa River Monster - Dragon, Woman or Gar? Oct 16, 2022

Consider the strange and varied circumstances of the 19th Century legend of the Coosa River Monster, a uniquely northeastern Alabama occurrence that was never quite what it appeared...and it appeared many times over those long-lost decades to bring tall tales - and even word of a curse - to the darkened woods of the 1800's.
All that, plus our spoiler-ridden review for the new horror film, Pearl, and a full breakdown of our amazing experience at Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios Orlando!
Join Amanda, Erica, Jess & Kevin for all this and more in the world of horror!
Listen now!
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Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC.

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HORROR MOVIE REVIEW: Glorious Oct 03, 2022

Join the Ain't No Such Thing crew as we discuss Rebekah McKendry's recent indie horror, Glorious, streaming now on Shudder. All four of us sat down to watch this homegrown Lovecraftian tale, and we shared some surprising reactions.
SPOILER ALERT: This review includes full, no-holds-barred details of the film's story and its ending. Before you listen...GO WATCH THE MOVIE. Trust us. You'll enjoy the review more this way.
Then, come check out what we thought of Glorious and find out if you feel the same way about it some or most of us did.

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SCARY STORY: The Baptist IV - The Bay of the Holy Spirit Sep 18, 2022

Two friends on an annual alligator hunt discover hidden truths about each other and encounter a legendary gator and a supernatural force they could not have foreseen and might possibly not survive.
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Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC.
The Bay of the Holy Spirit © Kevin LaPorte. Narrated by Amanda Rachels.
Music Credits:
Unspoken by Myuu

A Bad Encounter by Myuu

Dark Music Composer | Royalty-Free.
Music for YouTubers, Filmmakers, Video Games and media ● Genres: Horror Compositions, Piano, Orchestral Music, Film Scores.

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LEGEND: The Melon Heads - Scourges of the Northern Woods Sep 11, 2022

Join the Ain't No Such Thing crew for a dreaded foray outside the South in consideration of a decidedly Northern phenomenon - The Melon Heads, cannibalistic survivors of a mad doctor's machinations in a mid-20th century asylum, escaped into the surrounding woods after murdering the old man and burning their erstwhile prison to the ground...or something like that.
You won't believe the reported sightings, most of which reveal The Melon Heads' apparent fascination with...cars?
You're gonna enjoy this one, folks! Listen now!
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Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC

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SCARY STORY: Bitten - An Infectious Body Horror Sep 04, 2022

A simple man tending his orange grove suffers an unexpected bite from a seemingly normal pest, but the wound that follows and the consequences for his body and his life are decidedly abnormal.
Bitten is written by Erica J. Heflin.
Ain't No Such Thing is narrated and produced by Amanda Rachels.
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Bitten © Erica J. Heflin
Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC

Music Credits:
Grotesque Fantasia by Myuu

Disintegrating by Myuu

Haunted House by Myuu

Dark Music Composer | Royalty-Free.
Music for YouTubers, Filmmakers, Video Games and media ● Genres: Horror Compositions, Piano, Orchestral Music, Film Scores.
Official Website:
http://www.thedarkpiano.com

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LEGEND: The Casket Girls - Vampires or Victims? Aug 28, 2022

Ain't No Such Thing is BACK after a one-year hiatus, with the story of The Casket Girls, "undesirable" women from the early 18th Century shipped from France to the U.S. Gulf Coast cities of Mobile, Biloxi and New Orleans for the sole purpose of providing mates to European explorers and fur traders, so that the Catholic population in the New World would propagate.
Over the centuries, rumor and happenstance left these women with a supernatural reputation, ultimately attaining their legendary status as actual vampiric undead.
Join Amanda, Jess, Erica and Kevin as we catch you up on where we've been for the past year and consider the strange, very real case of The Casket Girls
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Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC

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HORROR MOVIE REVIEW: The Night House Sep 05, 2021

The whole Ain't No Such Thing crew saw David Bruckner's The Night House and had to talk about it. Amanda, Kevin, Jess, and Erica discuss this film along with hopes for the upcoming Hellraiser reboot, to be produced by the same team behind The Night House.
WARNING: This review includes SPOILERS!
Ain't No Such Thing is narrated and produced by Amanda Rachels
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Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC

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SCARY STORY: The Men of Pinewood Lane - A Back to Nature Horror Aug 08, 2021

Darryl's commute through the Florida pine woods has become routine. He sees the same trees, the same one pump gas station, even the same walking traveler on the road every day. He drives without thinking and without truly seeing until that routine is nightmarishly interrupted.
Green Leaves by Audionautix is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Artist: http://audionautix.com/
---------------------------------------------
The Order’s Theme by Myuu

Dark Music Composer | Royalty-Free. Music for YouTubers, Filmmakers, Video Games and media Official Website: http://www.thedarkpiano.com

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SCARY STORY: Turtle Soup - A Backwoods Cannibal Horror Jun 12, 2021

A good ole boy couch-surfing on the rotting sofa of friends in BFE learns the fine art of harvesting roadkill from his hosts but soon finds himself in a unique quandary when a moment of impulsive anger brings together his new talents and the baser instincts of people desperate for a bite to eat.
Turtle Soup is written by Erica J. Heflin.
Ain't No Such Thing is narrated and produced by Amanda Rachels
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Turtle Soup © Erica J. Heflin
Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC

Drankin Song by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1500021

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

Echoes of Time v2 by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300030

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

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LEGEND: Robert the Doll - The Most Haunted Doll in the World May 29, 2021

Our Legend series of hauntings continues with "the most haunted doll in the world", Robert the Doll. Kevin and Jess paid a visit to Robert while on vacation in Key West, and what they discovered was genuinely unexpected! Listen to their tale of a direct encounter with Robert just a few weeks ago and enjoy Amanda's backstory of Robert the Doll's history based on horror legends she learned decades ago. It's our longest episode yet, and it's FULL of first-hand horror facts and fun.
Plus, check out our review of the new Saw movie, Spiral and our trip through the history of evil doll cinema!
Ain't No Such Thing is produced by Amanda Rachels
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Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC

Come Play with Me by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1400042

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

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LEGEND: The Myrtles Plantation - Haunted Travels May 16, 2021

Amanda, Kevin, and Jessica discuss haunted travel experiences and Jessica's recent trip to one of America's most haunted homes, The Myrtles Plantation. She has a photo that may or may not show the image of Chloe, the most famous of the plantation's ghostly inhabitants. What do you think?
Ain't No Such Thing is produced by Amanda Rachels
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Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC

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SCARY STORY: The Twisted Woman - A Haunting in the Trees Mar 27, 2021

As an old woman's bizarre story of a twisted, beckoning tree creature unfolds, the young reporter interviewing her starts to wonder if the danger is in the swamp or from the old woman herself.
The Twisted Woman is written by Erica J. Heflin.
Ain't No Such Thing is narrated and produced by Amanda Rachels
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The Twisted Woman © Erica J. Heflin
Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC

There's Probably No Time by Chris Zabriskie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://chriszabriskie.com/uvp/

Artist: http://chriszabriskie.com/

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LEGEND: The Beast of Busco - Indiana Monster Turtle Mar 06, 2021

In 1948, a northern Indiana farmer encountered something in his lake that terrified him, a turtle so large those who witnessed it later compared it to the size of a small passenger car. His successor on the farm went so far as to use baited traps, send down divers, and even drain the 7-acre lake in his obsession with proving the monster turtle's existence. Did he find it? Did he prove it was real? To find out, you'll have to listen to Amanda Rachels and Ain't No Such Thing writers, Erica J. Heflin & Kevin LaPorte, as they talk it through and consider all the possibilities.
Ain't No Such Thing is produced by Amanda Rachels
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Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC

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LEGEND: Pope Lick Monster - The Kentucky Goat-Man Feb 25, 2021

Just outside Louisville, Kentucky, there is a train trestle famous for its devious, dangerous denizen, the Goat-Man - The Pope Lick Monster. This scheming critter lures the curious and the daring onto the bridge with its arcane abilities, only to leave them in the path of the oncoming train. Jess, Amanda & Kevin take on The Pope Lick Monster and consider:

What he tells people that compels them to wander onto the tracks and to their doom;
Why he's such a jerk;
Where he ranks compared to other fuzzy cryptids found in the South.

Ain't No Such Thing is produced by Amanda Rachels.
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Ain't No Such Thing © 2021 Inverse Press, LLC

Cowboy Sting by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1400015
Artist: http://incompetech.com/

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SCARY STORY - Winter of Bromeliads - Demonic Ritual Horror Feb 21, 2021

A lone woman and her canine companion makes her way to a lonesome beach for a day of much needed solitude, only to find evidence of some arcane ritual. She soon falls ill and relies on the suspect generosity of the locals to keep her healthy and safe, but there are hungry forces at play in this false paradise far beyond anything she could have imagined...
Possum Princess is written by Erica J. Heflin & Eric H. Fundersol.
Ain't No Such Thing is narrated and produced by Amanda Rachels
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Possum Princess © Erica J. Heflin & Eric H. Fundersol
Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC
Music:
B - Somber Ballads by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Artist: http://incompetech.com/
DD Groove by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100492
Artist: http://incompetech.com/

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LEGEND: Arkansas Fouke Monster - The Boggy Creek Bigfoot Jan 31, 2021

After two hurricanes, COVID-induced periods of remote work and remote learning, and months of changes in day jobs and growth in our comics publishing business, WE. ARE. BACK. Our first LEGENDS episode in 6 months is here, and it features the star of The Legend of Boggy Creek, the Fouke Monster - Arkansas' own Bigfoot! Amanda, Jess & Kevin discuss the movie and how it either spawned or was spawned from legit sightings of a Bigfoot creature in Southeast Arkansas. All this history and...is the Fouke Monster just one nice family away from living a real-life Harry & The Hendersons? We think so, and you need to listen to find out WHY!
Ain't No Such Thing is produced by Amanda Rachels
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Ain't No Such Thing © 2021 Inverse Press, LLC

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SCARY STORY: Possum Princess - Backwoods Monster Body Horror Nov 29, 2020

A parent's worst nightmare is helplessness in a moment of utter need for their child. When that emergency is life-threatening and happens in the depths of the Florida wilds, a frightened and desperate mother will turn to almost anyone. But to what ends will a stranger go to help? And what old, dark forces will that stranger tap to save the child, and what will be the terrible cost?
Possum Princess is written by Erica J. Heflin.
Ain't No Such Thing is narrated and produced by Amanda Rachels
Support our Patreon Campaign for access to:

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Possum Princess © Erica J. Heflin
Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC
Music:
Ambiment - The Ambient by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100630
Artist: http://incompetech.com/

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SCARY STORY: Betty & Veronica - Giant Snake Monster Horror Nov 22, 2020

Even the most skilled snake hunters take great care in the Everglades. Legends of monster gators and snakes and boars bounce around the bars and the message boards like rumors of cheating county commissioners, but every once in a while...every now and then...one of them legends turns out to be true. When a group of long-time herpers (reptile hunters for you rookies) head into the Glades to collect one of those legends after one of them actually sees it alive, what they find is far more monstrous than anything they could have expected.
Betty & Veronica is written by Erica J. Heflin.
Ain't No Such Thing is narrated and produced by Amanda Rachels
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Betty & Veronica © Erica J. Heflin
Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC

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SCARY STORY: Mudriders - A Southern Bigfoot Horror Nov 15, 2020

Rawley just wants to kiss a girl...just about any girl...so, against his better judgment, he accompanies his cousin - the local stud - to a mudriding party in a local country dirt pit. Confronted with backwoods machismo and beer-soaked behavior, Rawley soon questions his decision...over and over again. That is, until he meets a pretty girl in the back of a pickup truck, and the pair are hauled into the Alabama mud and into a sort of hidden, monstrous terror they never could have anticipated.
Mudriders is written by Kevin LaPorte.
Ain't No Such Thing is narrated and produced by Amanda Rachels
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Mudriders © Kevin LaPorte
Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC

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SCARY STORY: The Baptist III - The Hayride - A Halloween Horror Oct 31, 2020

Halloween, 1983. A shy young man joins his church youth group for a Halloween alternative gathering and hayride. Nothing goes as expected, as he finds himself the object of the affections of a girl he never before met and follows her onto a haunted hayride into the night and into a forest full of his worst fears.
The Hayride is written by Kevin LaPorte.
Ain't No Such Thing is narrated and produced by Amanda Rachels
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The Hayride © Kevin LaPorte
Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC
Music:
Blue Sizzle - Madness Paranoia by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100385
Artist: http://incompetech.com/
Serenity by Audionautix is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
Artist: http://audionautix.com/
Lasting Hope by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100178
Artist: http://incompetech.com/
Distant Tension by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?keywords=Distant+Tension&page=0
Artist: http://incompetech.com/

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SCARY STORY: Mother of the Swamp - Bayou Occult Horror Oct 25, 2020

You think you know what happens to folks out in the swamps...and why? You don't know nothin'. When people start to disappear from one diminishing little bayou village, everybody has a theory, but ain't none of'em right...or even close, for that matter. Come on in and take a crack at this case yo'self, and see what you make of...the Mother of the Swamp.
Mother of the Swamp is written by Erica J. Heflin.
Ain't No Such Thing is narrated and produced by Amanda Rachels
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Mother of the Swamp © Erica J. Heflin
Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC
Music: Maestro Tlakelel by Jesse Gallagher

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LEGEND: Louisiana Rougarou - The Southern Werewolf Aug 16, 2020

The Ain't No Such Thing tour of Southern, hirsute cryptids lands in Lousiana to check in on the most Southern of werewolves - the swamp-dwelling Rougarou! This lupine ole cuss not only morphs into a half-man/half-wolf beastie under the full moon, he comes after you when you don't follow the rules of the church. Sounds like some grandmothers we know... Anyhow, join Amanda, Kevin, and Jess (she's BACK!) for a Rougarou round-table, more than a few laughs, and ranks vs. our other cryptid friends on the criteria of Believability, Threat Level, and Affection.
And check out these resources on the Rougarou:
Article - History of the Rougarou - Louisiana's Werewolf (Frank Kerner - pelicanstateofmind.com, 2019): https://pelicanstateofmind.com/louisiana-love/history-rougarou-louisiana-werewolf/
Video - Legend of the Rougarou: https://www.youtube.com/hqCWTlKh6QI
Video - Cajun Justice: Rougarou: https://youtu.be/Z6Nd77YVT7A
Video - Rougarou Caught on Aerial Footage Breakdown: https://youtu.be/pm5wA8pDDZ8
Video - Woman Sees Rougarou in Mississippi: https://youtu.be/JTqxApwWD98
Trailer - Beauregard Thibodeaux and the Curse of the Rougarou: https://youtu.be/60JkmuycCrw
Ain't No Such Thing is produced by Amanda Rachels
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Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC

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SCARY STORY: Kid Gloves - Creepy Clown Doll Horror Aug 09, 2020

In the 1970's, empty parking lots spawned traveling carnivals, rife with rusted rides, grizzled barkers, and tainted games of skill. It was in one of these rancid attractions that a lonely little girl with a resentful, acid-tongued mother wins the greatest prize of her life, one to come home with her and take away all her hurt...no matter the cost...
Kid Gloves is written by Kevin LaPorte.
Ain't No Such Thing is narrated and produced by Amanda Rachels
Read more stories about these characters in our 120-page graphic novel, Vicious Circus, available at inversepress.com.
And, on August 9, 2020, at 6:00 p.m., we launch a Kickstarter campaign celebrating the 10th anniversary of our comics publishing arm, Inverse Press. Get more stories about the characters in Kid Gloves, including their original comics appearances, along with our signed/numbered 10th Anniversary Collector's Box.
Support our Patreon Campaign for access to:

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Kid Gloves © Kevin LaPorte
Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC

FairyTale Waltz by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100232

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

Act Two - Tenebrous Brothers Carnival by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100641

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

Dark Walk by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100468

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

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LEGEND: Florida Skunk Ape Aug 03, 2020

Ain't No Such Thing takes on the guise of Florida Man and dips WAY down into the Peninsula to look into reports of The Great Cypress Forest's own Bigfoot, the Skunk Ape (a.k.a. Swamp Cabbage Man, a.k.a. Stink Ape, a.k.a. Myakka Ape). We dig deep into reported encounters, the surprisingly broad cultural influence, and speculate what's behind this enduring and widespread cryptid phenomenon that's become a sort of de facto mascot for the Sunshine State.
Plus, Kevin and Amanda try out a new system for ranking supernatural legends, based on 1) Believability 2) Threat Level 3) Affection (e.g., how much we love the stories around the legend). Where does the Skunk Ape fall in the ranks of legends we've considered? Listen and find out!
And check out these resources on the Skunk Ape:
Article - On the Trail of Florida's Bigfoot - The Skunk Ape (Joseph Stromberg - Smithsonian Magazine, 2014): https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/trail-floridas-bigfoot-skunk-ape-180949981/
Song - Skunk Ape by Donny Lee: https://youtu.be/W8Ll6hI7hF8
Movie - Wrath of the Skunk Ape: https://youtu.be/pNqbx8VvmxA
Movie - Swamp Ape the Movie: https://youtu.be/kQsX352KCts
Movie - The Ochopee Skunk Ape: https://youtu.be/BeBzSA8shgs
Ain't No Such Thing is produced by Amanda Rachels
Support our Patreon Campaign to help us keep the show going!

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Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC

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SCARY STORY: Aladdin's Castle - 1980's Mall Arcade Horror Jul 02, 2020

In the 1980's, dismal mall goths prowled the corridors of retail riches, primed to show off their deviant looks and worry the normies. But, deep down, they ultimately wanted the same attention we all crave, from parents and teachers and...potential loves. When reality won't serve the needs of one of these suburban nightcrawlers, maybe a cursed video game will.
Aladdin's Castle is written by Kevin LaPorte.
Ain't No Such Thing is narrated and produced by Amanda Rachels
Support our Patreon Campaign for access to:

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Live Skype Sessions with Amanda, Jess and Kevin
Print Copies of the Novel and Anthologies Featuring Our Original Stories

Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing
Aladdin's Castle © Kevin LaPorte
Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC

Lightless Dawn by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100655

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

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LEGEND: Alabama White Thang May 13, 2020

Ain't No Such Thing is BACK with a new discussion of an Alabama legend. As we open Season Two, we look into the Alabama White Thang, a northeast Alabama cryptid that seems to change shape and sound over the decades. We take shots at all of it's weird and dubious sightings and characteristics and have a lot of fun doing it. Join us, won't you!
Ain't No Such Thing is produced by Amanda Rachels
Support our Patreon Campaign for access to:

More Stories
Horror Movie Reviews
Video Updates
PDF Transcripts of Our Stories
Physical Merchandise: Magnets & Autographed Photos
Narrated Chapters of Our Planned Horror Novel Written by Kevin (EXCLUSIVE to Patreon)
Live Skype Sessions with Amanda, Jess and Kevin
Print Copies of the Novel and Anthologies Featuring Our Original Stories

Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing
Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC

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SCARY STORY: Famishment Mar 30, 2020

In a lost and lonely town, food is a scarcity, a right of the rich, and a traveler comes to sell the poor and starving on an elixir to produce meat where none previously grew. And the townspeople rejoice and partake! Young and skeptical mother, Catherine, just wants to feed her son, Samuel, so she approaches The Traveler with reticence to sample his concoction and provide for her boy. She soon learns the cost to buying stories too good to be true and must choose between motherhood and her own seething hungers.
Famishment is written by Kevin LaPorte. It is based on characters from his comic book series, Last Ride of the 4 Horsemen, which is funding now through April 19 on Kickstarter. Please support, if you can.
Ain't No Such Thing is narrated and produced by Amanda Rachels
Support our Patreon Campaign for access to:

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Horror Movie Reviews
Video Updates
PDF Transcripts of Our Stories
Physical Merchandise: Magnets & Autographed Photos
Narrated Chapters of Our Planned Horror Novel Written by Kevin (EXCLUSIVE to Patreon)
Live Skype Sessions with Amanda, Jess and Kevin
Print Copies of the Novel and Anthologies Featuring Our Original Stories

Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing
Famishment © Kevin LaPorte
Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC

Minor With Cricket by Audionautix is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Artist: http://audionautix.com/

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MOVIE REVIEW: The Color Out of Space - H.P. Lovecraft by way of Richard Stanley & Nicolas Cage Mar 25, 2020

Amanda and Kevin review the film The Color Out of Space! H.P. Lovecraft's tale of a meteor strike with monstrous results is directed by Richard Stanley (Hardware, 1990) starring Nicolas Cage and Joely Richardson.
Listen to our discussion on this surprising horror gem with both spoiler free and spoilery reviews. Don't worry, we give you notice before spoilers start flying. Stay in and enjoy this one!
Visit our facebook group here to join our discussion and have some fun with us. All of our Patreon exclusive episodes will be available for everyone for the next 30 days so enjoy some of our exclusive content.
Support our Patreon Campaign for access to:

More Stories
Horror Movie Reviews
Video Updates
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Physical Merchandise: Magnets & Autographed Photos
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Live Skype Sessions with Amanda, Jess and Kevin
Print Copies of the Novel and Anthologies Featuring Our Original Stories

Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing

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SCARY STORY:Some Old Lover's Ghost - HAUNTED ROMANCE Mar 01, 2020

Some Old Lover's Ghost waswritten by Ian McDowell.
Student teacher, Tim, learns which campus legends are real when he has a strange encounter with a student on a supposedly haunted floor of the library.

Ian is an award-winning journalist with a flair for the macabre who has written two novels, Mordred's Curse and Merlin's Gift, and numerous horror, fantasy and science fiction stories, many set in the American South.

Ain't No Such Thing is narrated and produced by Amanda Rachels
Support our Patreon Campaign for access to:

More Stories
Horror Movie Reviews
Video Updates
PDF Transcripts of Our Stories
Physical Merchandise: Magnets & Autographed Photos
Narrated Chapters of Our Planned Horror Novel Written by Kevin (EXCLUSIVE to Patreon)
Live Skype Sessions with Amanda, Jess and Kevin
Print Copies of the Novel and Anthologies Featuring Our Original Stories

Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing

Some Old Lover's Ghost © Ian K McDowell.
Ain't No Such Thing © Inverse Press, LLC

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SCARY STORY: Huggin' Molly - She's Coming To Get You! Feb 23, 2020

February 23, 2020 Amanda Rachels & Kevin LaPorte
Parents in Abbeville Alabama have told their children for generations, "Be home before dark or Huggin' Molly will get you."
Four friends are digging an underground clubhouse when disaster strikes not once but twice! The friends are locked in a race against time and are pursued by the monstrous timekeeper, Huggin' Molly.
For more on Huggin' Molly check out our previous episode HERE where we discuss the legend and its origins.
Support our Patreon Campaign for access to:

More Stories
Horror Movie Reviews
Video Updates
PDF Transcripts of Our Stories
Physical Merchandise: Magnets & Autographed Photos
Narrated Chapters of Our Planned Horror Novel Written by Kevin (EXCLUSIVE to Patreon)
Live Skype Sessions with Amanda, Jess and Kevin
Print Copies of the Novel and Anthologies Featuring Our Original Stories

Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing
Huggin' Molly and all characters, situations, and other Ain't No Such Thing stories are © Inverse Press, LLC.

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SCARY STORY: On the Dark Road - SKIN-WALKER HORROR Feb 16, 2020

Monica and Steve are collecting Cherokee folklore from an old timer who tells them of a creature called the Tsukala. It is said to possess the ability to take the shape of any animal - even human- in order to lure its prey.

On the Dark Road waswritten by Ian McDowell.
On the Dark Road first appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction and was reprinted in The Year's Best Horror Stories XVIII (ed. Karl Edward Wagner).

Ian is an award-winning journalist with a flair for the macabre who has written two novels, Mordred's Curse and Merlin's Gift, and numerous horror, fantasy and science fiction stories, many set in the American South.

Ain't No Such Thing is narrated and produced by Amanda Rachels
Support our Patreon Campaign for access to:

More Stories
Horror Movie Reviews
Video Updates
PDF Transcripts of Our Stories
Physical Merchandise: Magnets & Autographed Photos
Narrated Chapters of Our Planned Horror Novel Written by Kevin (EXCLUSIVE to Patreon)
Live Skype Sessions with Amanda, Jess and Kevin
Print Copies of the Novel and Anthologies Featuring Our Original Stories

Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing
Lightless Dawn by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100655

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing

LEGEND: Huggin' Molly Jan 27, 2020

Amanda, Jess & Kevin cuddle up to discuss Abbeville, Alabama's resident curfew enforcing haunt, Huggin' Molly. We consider the merits of using fear of the supernatural to shape the behavior of children (it doesn't work!) and look into some of the other monsters created specifically to change behavior. Plus, find out the monsters our own families deployed to try to make us decent human beings...
Support our Patreon Campaign for access to:

More Stories
Horror Movie Reviews
Video Updates
PDF Transcripts of Our Stories
Physical Merchandise: Magnets & Autographed Photos
Narrated Chapters of Our Planned Horror Novel Written by Kevin (EXCLUSIVE to Patreon)
Live Skype Sessions with Amanda, Jess and Kevin
Print Copies of the Novel and Anthologies Featuring Our Original Stories

Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing
All content and Ain't No Such Thing stories are © Inverse Press, LLC.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing

SCARY STORY: Inheritance - Choose Your Own Adventure Style Horror! Jan 22, 2020

January 22, 2020

Amanda Rachels, Ian McDowell, Neil A McKain, Jagdeep Kaul, Christina O'Donovan, James O'Callaghan, Hazel O'Brien, & Kevin LaPorte
Norma has just become the sole inheritor of her estranged grandmother's country estate. Along with her sister and close friends, she sets out to explore her new home and hopefully find a few family heirlooms.
The Ain't No Such Thing Facebook Group recently played a game of Pass the Story started by Amanda and picked up by Ian, Jagdeep, Neil, Christina, James, Hazel,and Kevin. This creepy tale was the result. Join the group for our next game of Pass the Story which will begin Friday February 7th at 12:00 PM CST and run through Sunday February 9th at 12:00 CST. Participants will receive a writers credit on the final story! Flex your creative muscles and have some fun with us! All skill levels are welcome to join.
We have a brand new Patreon Campaign for Ain't No Such Thing. For as little as $2 you can get Patreon exclusive stories, horror movie reviews, and much more!
Inheritance was narrated, edited, and produced by Amanda Rachels.
All characters, content and situations © Inverse Press, LLC 2020.

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SCARY STORY: The Wolf Woman of Davis Avenue Jan 20, 2020

January 20, 2020 Kevin LaPorte - Amanda Rachels
Easter weekend and empty houses left by traveling families are a perfect target for a seasoned burglar in Mobile, Al. In his search for loot and some easy money he finds a lot more than he bargained for when he comes face to face with a rumored cryptid.
Support our Patreon Campaign for access to:

More Stories
Horror Movie Reviews
Video Updates
PDF Transcripts of Our Stories
Physical Merchandise: Magnets & Autographed Photos
Narrated Chapters of Our Planned Horror Novel Written by Kevin (EXCLUSIVE to Patreon)
Live Skype Sessions with Amanda, Jess and Kevin
Print Copies of the Novel and Anthologies Featuring Our Original Stories

Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing
The Wolf Woman of Davis Avenue and all characters, situations, and other Ain't No Such Thing stories are © Inverse Press, LLC.

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LEGEND: The Wolf Woman of Davis Avenue & Mass Hysteria Jan 13, 2020

The Ain't No Such Thing team, Amanda and Kevin (Jess is back with us next week), discuss famous cases of mass hysteria as well as two popular ones in our own back yard, The Wolf Woman of Davis Avenue and the elusive Crichton Leprechaun. Did you see them? These local legends are hard to miss (the latter especially on YouTube - link below).
Have a look at the "pretty, but hairy" Wolf Woman sketch from AL.com here!
Enjoy the original - eventually viral- news report on the Crichton Leprechaun here!
Support our Patreon Campaign for access to:

More Stories
Horror Movie Reviews
Video Updates
PDF Transcripts of Our Stories
Physical Merchandise: Magnets & Autographed Photos
Narrated Chapters of Our Planned Horror Novel Written by Kevin (EXCLUSIVE to Patreon)
Live Skype Sessions with Amanda, Jess and Kevin
Print Copies of the Novel and Anthologies Featuring Our Original Stories

Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing

https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing

SCARY STORY: The Chair - Choose Your Own Adventure Style Horror! Jan 09, 2020

January 08, 2020

Amanda Rachels, James O'Callaghan, Hazel O'Brien, & Amy Rachels
A driver spots an unusual object by the edge of an isolated lake and makes the fateful decision to investigate. An empty boat launch, an abandoned shack, and a rusty wheelchair...what could go wrong?
The Ain't No Such Thing Facebook Group recently played a game of Pass the Story started by Amanda (based on an actual road trip oddity) and picked up by James, Hazel, and Amy. This creepy tale was the result.
We have a brand new Patreon Campaign for Ain't No Such Thing. For as little as $2 you can get Patreon exclusive stories, horror movie reviews, and much more!
The Chair and all characters, situations, and other Ain't No Such Thing stories are © Inverse Press, LLC.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing

SCARY STORY: The Ripple Effect - A Bloody Mary-Style Horror Jan 06, 2020

January 6, 2020
Amanda Rachels & Jessica Hinds
High school diving phenom, Lucy, is facing pressure from everyone. Her coaches, her friends, and most of all her father. On a rare night out with friends she finds more pressure in the form of a dare. What will she unleash when she stands in front of the mirror in a dark room and says her name backwards three times?
Support our Patreon Campaign for access to:

More Stories
Horror Movie Reviews
Video Updates
PDF Transcripts of Our Stories
Physical Merchandise: Magnets & Autographed Photos
Narrated Chapters of Our Planned Horror Novel Written by Kevin (EXCLUSIVE to Patreon)
Live Skype Sessions with Amanda, Jess and Kevin
Print Copies of the Novel and Anthologies Featuring Our Original Stories

Bloody Mary inspired this twisted tale by Jessica Hinds. To earn more about the legend and its history, check out our previous episode where Amanda, Jess, and Kevin discuss the legend and its bloody origins.
The Ripple Effect and all characters, situations, and other Ain't No Such Thing stories are © Inverse Press, LLC.

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LEGEND: Bloody Mary Jan 01, 2020

The Bloody Mary summoning ritual crosses centuries and cultures, but why? Where did it begin? And why does it keep spreading?
The Ain't No Such Thing team of Amanda, Jess & Kevin tackles these questions and more in this episode. The summoning of Bloody Mary is essentially amateur spell casting, so we break down the elements of the spell and explore why it works or why it might not, as well as one essential element of summoning spells that's always left out when conjuring Bloody Mary.
Jess reveals potential links between the Bloody Mary legend and 16-17th century serial killer, Elizabeth Bathory, and Amanda shares the Japanese version of the ritual, which...doesn't involve mirrors.
And we learn about that time Amanda led a group of fellow school girls to summon Bloody Mary...and it didn't end the way you expect...
Support our Patreon Campaign for access to:

More Stories
Horror Movie Reviews
Video Updates
PDF Transcripts of Our Stories
Physical Merchandise: Magnets & Autographed Photos
Narrated Chapters of Our Planned Horror Novel Written by Kevin (EXCLUSIVE to Patreon)
Live Skype Sessions with Amanda, Jess and Kevin
Print Copies of the Novel and Anthologies Featuring Our Original Stories

Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing
Some information on Elizabeth Bathory was gathered from bathory.org.

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ANNOUNCEMENT - Happy New Year! Ain't No Such Thing is on Patreon! Dec 31, 2019

Yes! 2019 has been amazing, as we've launched eleven (11!) episodes, and we are going into 2020 full force with the launch of our Ain't No Such Thing Patreon campaign.
Each week, we explore the ghosts, haunts, monsters, and more urban & rural legends from across the world and across cultures, and we tell our own, original horror stories based on those legends! Our stories are narrated in Southern style by illustrator and comic artist Amanda Rachels and are accompanied by episodes including commentary and analysis by Amanda, host Jessica Hinds, and writer Kevin LaPorte.
The goal of our Patreon campaign is to bring you even more content:

More Stories
Horror Movie Reviews
Video Updates
PDF Transcripts of Our Stories
Physical Merchandise: Magnets & Autographed Photos
Narrated Chapters of Our Planned Horror Novel Written by Kevin (EXCLUSIVE to Patreon)
Live Skype Sessions with Amanda, Jess and Kevin
Print Copies of the Novel and Anthologies Featuring Our Original Stories

We keep our tiers simple and affordable at $2, $5 and $10 levels, and each includes all of the rewards in the tiers beneath.
Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing
All characters, situations, and Ain't No Such Thing stories are © Inverse Press, LLC.

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SCARY STORY: Crybaby Bridge - A Haunted Bridge Horror Dec 29, 2019

Sam tries to salvage what little good came of a terrible day, when tragedy strikes, and she finds herself stranded, alone and injured, on a lonely country road at midnight. Unbeknownst to her, this road includes the legendary Crybaby Bridge, home to countless stories of ghost encounters and the disembodied wails of a long lost child, and she is unwittingly pulled into the story herself, playing a part she never intended but was perhaps destined for...
Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing
Crybaby Bridge and all characters, situations, and other Ain't No Such Thing stories are © Inverse Press, LLC.

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LEGEND: Crybaby Bridge Dec 16, 2019

Amanda is joined by Kevin and Jessica to explore a widespread local legend, Crybaby Bridge, a frequent phenomenon involving the phantasmic crying of a baby beneath a bridge where some storied tragedy was inflicted on an infant at some point in history. You know the story, you may even have a Crybaby Bridge in your own town. We explore the array of Crybaby Bridge legends across the U.S., relate them to real-world cases, and Kevin relates our own local version of the famously haunted bridge and shares his personal experience from it.
Some of the information for this story was sourced from https://smalltownmyths.com/cry-baby-bridge-of-kali-oka/
Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing
Check out the Crybaby Bridge: A Louisiana Urban Legend Official Trailer here

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SCARY STORY: Santa's Workshop - A Christmas Horror Dec 09, 2019

Chronic underachiever, Larry Van Camp, lives vicariously through the films he watches as a theater projectionist. An odd job and a heavy discussion of a Stanley Kubrick film lead him to a film shoot with a deranged department store Santa, and what follows is far more terrifying than any midnight movie he could have ever imagined.
*Santa's Workshop is a loose prequel to our previous story, The Air Sho.
Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing
Santa's Workshop and all characters, situations, and other Ain't No Such Thing stories are © Inverse Press, LLC.

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STORY COMMENTARY: On the Porch Swing - The Air Sho Dec 05, 2019

Host Jessica Hinds talks with Ain't No Such Thing narrator and producer, Amanda Rachels, and writer, Kevin LaPorte, about our original horror story, The Air Sho. This story takes us to an abandoned drive in movie lot that isn't as dead as it seems in the wee hours of the morning. We discuss our own drive-in experiences, nerd out over movies, and discuss the inner Hulk in our hero, Meat. PLUS, a preview of our next story, Santa's Kingdom, a holiday horror story connected to our latest monster!
NOTE: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS HEAVY SPOILERS FOR THE AIR SHO. So, listen to that episode FIRST!
Narrator & producer Amanda Rachels creates a piece of original artwork with every story. for The Air Sho, you can view that piece of art and bid on it yourself HERE on eBay!
The Air Sho and all characters, situations, and other Ain't No Such Thing stories are © Inverse Press, LLC.

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SCARY STORY: The Air Sho - A Haunting at a Drive-In Movie Theater Dec 01, 2019

In the early 1990's, a troubled teen joined in the vandalism of a defunct drive-in but encountered there a seeming innocent inexplicably abandoned to the spooky old place. Could he forget his rage long enough to help someone in a situation worse even than his own? Would he even want to? And, if so, why? The answers are all here, in our feature presentation. Park beside us and enjoy the show...The Air Sho.
Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing
Narrator & producer Amanda Rachels creates a piece of original artwork with every story. for The Air Sho, you can view that piece of art and bid on it yourself HERE on eBay!
The Air Sho and all characters, situations, and other Ain't No Such Thing stories are © Inverse Press, LLC.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing

STORY COMMENTARY: On the Porch Swing - The Golden Arm Dec 01, 2019

Host Jessica Hinds talks with Ain't No Such Thing narrator and producer, Amanda Rachels, and writer, Kevin LaPorte, about our original horror story based on the classic scary story, The Golden Arm. This story has been told for literally centuries, including iterations by such luminaries as Mark Twain and Andy Griffith, and we had a blast putting our own twisted spin on it. We go into specifics about what inspired us to adapt this story and why we did it the way we did. PLUS, a preview of our next story, The Air Sho, a throwback horror tale about drive-in movie theaters!
Check out the Andy Griffith version at 6:30 of Season 4, Episode 31 of The Andy Griffith Show HERE. Thanks to listener Ian McDowell for sharing that story and that link!
NOTE: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS HEAVY SPOILERS FOR THE GOLDEN ARM. So, listen to that episode FIRST!
Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing
The original depiction of a scene from The Golden Arm by narrator and artist, Amanda Rachels is available now on eBay until Monday, December 2. You can bid on it HERE at a very low opening price! We will make our original art from every episode available this way so be sure to follow us.

The Golden Arm and all characters, situations, and other Ain't No Such Thing stories are © Inverse Press, LLC.

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SCARY STORY: The Golden Arm - A Classic Resurrection Horror Nov 25, 2019

A modern take on the timeless scary story adapted by storytellers, including Mark Twain, across the centuries. A greedy fellow digs up his dead wife's corpse to steal back her golden prosthetic arm. In this new take, the arm is a piece of cutting edge technology, and the husband's desire for it transcends financial greed. But even death cannot prevent the wife from exacting revenge for the loss of her prize possession...
Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing
Narrator & producer Amanda Rachels creates a piece of original artwork with every story. for The Golden Arm, you can view that piece of art and bid on it yourself HERE on eBay!
The Golden Arm and all characters, situations, and other Ain't No Such Thing stories are © Inverse Press, LLC.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing

STORY COMMENTARY: On the Porch Swing - The Flood Nov 21, 2019

We talk the inspirations and real facts behind The Flood, our second full story released a week prior. What are its connections to The Baptist? Are there elements of real cults in the story? Why Elvis? (WHY THE HELL NOT???)
NOTE: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS HEAVY SPOILERS FOR THE FLOOD.
Get the low-down on the Ain't No Such Thing release schedule beginning next week (hint: Story Podcast on Monday. On the Porch Commentary Podcast on Wednesday. Story Video on Thursday.)
Plus, a sneak preview of next week's story, The Golden Arm, a post-modern re-imagining of the old folk horror tale.

The original depiction of Brother Teddy by narrator and artist, Amanda Rachels is available now on eBay until Tuesday, November 26. You can bid on it HERE at a very low opening price! We will make our original art from every episode available this way so be sure to follow us.
Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing
The Flood and all characters, situations, and other Ain't No Such Thing stories are © Inverse Press, LLC.

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SCARY STORY: The Baptist II - The Flood - A Cult Kidnapping Horror Nov 14, 2019

Young Melody Landover just wanted to listen to her Elvis record and live the carefree life of a teenager in the early 1960's. She was one of the lucky ones at her north Alabama church to avoid kidnapping by their fanatical preacher before he was caught and imprisoned. As that old church, and the whole town around it, were about to be flooded to create a massive lake in the name of hydroelectric power, Melody joined her family at their new church in their new town, unsuspecting that she was still in danger...from both the kidnapper and the flood.
*The Flood is a prequel to our previous story, The Baptist.
The original depiction of The Baptist in his mortal form by narrator and artist, Amanda Rachels, will be available Thursday 11/21 on eBay. We will update with a link at time of launch. We will make our original art from every episode available this way so be sure to follow us and grab some unique originals at a great price!
Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing
The Flood and all characters, situations, and other Ain't No Such Thing stories are © Inverse Press, LLC.

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STORY COMMENTARY: On the Porch Swing - The Baptist Nov 13, 2019

Host Jessica Hinds talks with Ain't No Such Thing narrator and producer, Amanda Rachels, and writer, Kevin LaPorte, about the new podcast and our first original horror story, The Baptist.
Why are we doing this podcast? What's the deal? What can you expect? What was the inspiration for The Baptist? What is the meaning of life? It's all in here! PLUS, a preview of our next story, The Flood!
NOTE: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS HEAVY SPOILERS FOR THE BAPTIST
The original depiction of The Baptist by narrator and artist, Amanda Rachels is available now on eBay until Sunday. You can bid on it here at a very low opening price! We will make our original art from every episode available this way so be sure to follow us.
Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing
The Baptist and all characters, situations, and other Ain't No Such Thing stories are © Inverse Press, LLC.

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SCARY STORY: The Baptist - An Underwater Horror Nov 05, 2019

A Sheriff's flotilla dive team responds to a call for a boy missing in the night waters of Smith Lake in 1980's Alabama, but those dark depths hide more secrets than the fate of one young man. Join Amanda as she tells you our original story of the sunken town of Falls City.
The original depiction of The Baptist by narrator and artist, Amanda Rachels is available now on eBay until Sunday. You can bid on it here at a very low opening price! We will make our original art from every episode available this way so be sure to follow us.
Join our Facebook group for exclusive insights and art based on our stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aintnosuchthing
The Baptist and all characters, situations, and other Ain't No Such Thing stories are © Inverse Press, LLC.

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