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    After Shows

    Again With This: Dawson’s, Melrose, 90210

    Need someone to share the joy, pain, and shoulder pads of your Dawson’s Creek, Melrose Place and Beverly Hills, 90210 rewatches? Tara Ariano and Sarah D. Bunting, co-founders of Television Without Pity, are here for you!
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    MP S02.E10: The Tangled Web Jun 08, 2020
    Show notes

    After clashing with Amanda over Alison's vision for the MICROCOMP campaign (and, apparently, not really comprehending when she tells him that if it flops, Alison's going to be out on her ass), Steve invites his current girlfriend Jo back out to his ranch that weekend -- and hey, wouldn't it be fun if Alison came? And also Billy, since it would be weird if he were excluded? History repeats itself: Billy correctly assesses that Steve is into Alison and risks life and limb -- this time by riding a horse (sort of) out to spy on them; Alison denies that Steve has feelings for her and whines about Billy's jealousy -- after all, she's not jealous about Billy's new co-worker, Celia, who he can't stop complaining about! (Billy shoots back that he hates Celia and since we've certainly never seen crushes grow out of sparky animosity on TV before, that's exactly where their relationship will remain, surely!) Meanwhile, Jo and Steve are getting down to it, apparently for the first time, when Jo admits that she still isn't over Jake, and Steve admits that he's sort of trying to get over someone too. Then Steve and Alison end up alone on the deck.... Speaking of Jake: back in L.A., he's spending more time with Palmer, his boss/Amanda's dad. Getting tipsy tidbits about Amanda's idiosyncrasies from Palmer only tantalizes Jake into asking her more personal questions, which she is not interested in answering. And while she's shutting him down at home, Palmer is shutting down Jake's inquiries at work as regards some wild numbers he accidentally saw on some sale paperwork. And when Michael hears that Kimberly's solution to her problem with Michael is to ditch her job and go home to Cleveland, he begs her not to derail her career and promises to be professional at the hospital. He manages to keep it up for one whole scene, so they're probably fine forever. Join us as we discuss all these sticky situations in our podcast on "The Tangled Web"!

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    NOTES

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    MP S02.E09: Married To It Jun 01, 2020
    Show notes

    Everything's coming up Sydney! She's got a job! (At Shooters, where else.) She's somehow figured out how to check Kimberly's hospital schedule, so she knows when to go by the beach house and cozy up to Michael! She is, in fact, doing exactly that (because Michael can say he doesn't want to bone her anymore, but confronting her fully naked body in front of him on his deck is a test his resolve cannot pass) when Kimberly comes home and finds them in bed! This touches of a shitstorm: Kimberly tells Jane. Jane disowns Sydney. Kimberly kicks Michael out -- and, when he ignores her, moves out of the beach house herself. Michael tries mooching his way back into Kimberly's heart with a big showy gift of flowers, but when that doesn't work, he takes it out on Jane, embarrassing her at a dinner party with Robert's parents, unintentionally setting Robert up to be Jane's hero some more. Poor Sydney thinks that isolating Michael from his previous two lady friends means he'll have no choice but to pick back up with her by default, but it seems she's miscalculated this game of seven-dimensional chess. The time has come for Matt and Dr. Russia to start selling their story to the INS, which is why it's very bad timing for Matt to meet a cute art dealer who's not totally sure he wants to sign on to Matt's whole complicated situation. And as Jo and Steve continue hanging out -- even as Steve is making it perfectly clear, at least to Alison, that Jo is his second choice -- Alison's terrible poker face keeps giving away her true feelings about him. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to witness our podcast on "Married To It"!

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    NOTES

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    MP S02.E08: No Bed Of Roses May 25, 2020
    Show notes

    Alison's running her first solo account with Microcomp! It's a big deal and very exciting, so naturally Billy understands why work is eating up all her time, including weekends. Ha ha, just kidding, he's a petulant baby about -- and maybe he should be, because even though Alison has been very clear with Steve that she's in a relationship, he keeps blurring the lines between them. However, when he decides to start hearing what she's telling him and try to move on, maybe she doesn't really like that either. The Mancinis continue trying to move on from each other, but it's not easy: Jane accepts Robert's invitation to spend the weekend on his friends' sailboat, but when the day comes, a luggage tag with both her and Michael's names on it sends her into a spiral of wistfulness that causes her to renege. Alison suggests that she try dating someone who had NOTHING to do with her divorce, but the D&D guy she sets Jane up with is a dud from whom, fortunately, Robert happens by so that he can rescue her. Meanwhile, Michael is continuing to have "lunch" (sex) with Sydney in her barely furnished crash pad, not realizing exactly what he's getting himself into. Amanda's dad's latest business idea involves producing replica sports cars, which means he needs a head mechanic to run his shop. Naturally, Amanda recommends Jake, who resents what he sees as a handout (and considering that the offer comes with a $15,000 cash advance up front, he's not totally off-base). Sleeping with Amanda helps eliminate some of his qualms, but that doesn't eliminate all the complications of his new situation. Go ahead and take a big whiff of our podcast on "No Bed Of Roses"!

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    NOTES

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    MP S02.E07: Flirting With Disaster May 18, 2020
    Show notes

    Jane is happy in her new relationship with Robert, but not so happy she declines to make good on her threat to Sydney: now that she knows Sydney's continued spending time with Michael behind Jane's back, Jane is kicking her out. Somehow, the same Amanda who asked Matt where he was going to get his next month's rent from four minutes after he got laid off has no problem renting a unit to an unemployed college dropout, as long as she can find someone to co-sign her lease. It all goes to hell at a reception (we'll get to it) where a drunk Michael tries to attack yet another Jane love interest much taller than himself. Sydney follows him home and delights him with the news about her new place and how much it bugs Jane to have her as a neighbor: he'd just love to co-sign that lease! Sydney then takes advantage of Kimberly's trip out of town to drift into the bedroom and start undressing, and Michael is perfectly content to cheat with her on the woman with whom he formerly cheated on his wife. Amanda hands Alison a pile of material on Microcomp, a potential computer hardware client she's pretty sure Alison won't land because no one from any major agency on either coast has. Still, Alison journeys north to meet tech genius Steve McMillan (Parker Stevenson!), crap out as expected after her pitch, and then crash into his fence on her way out when Betsy's brakes fail. Getting the chance to prattle on some more somehow convinces Steve that Alison is the right person to sell computer components to idiots, since she is one, and she lands the account! But is Steve interested in her ideas, or her boobies? Matt tells Dr. Katya that he has changed his mind about her green card scheme: he will marry her after all! The neighbors gather afterward for a reception at a Russian restaurant where the drinks are free; Amanda has a little too much Slivovitz, and this time when Jake walks her home, she is interested in fooling around. Jake knows better than to accept this offer when she's not in a state to give consent, but still, another barrier between them has fallen. But a barrier may soon be erected between Matt and Dr. Katya: Roger Lacey from the INS is checking on their marriage, and he seems suspicious. No need for YOU to show your passport before enjoying our podcast on "Flirting With Disaster"!

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    NOTES

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    MP S02.E06: Hot And Bothered May 11, 2020
    Show notes

    The Mancinis are finalizing their divorce, and everyone is having a lot of feelings about it: Michael, furious about the alimony he has to pay, decides to try to punish Jane by getting all their friends in the divorce, throwing a party to celebrate the end of the marriage, and ignoring both Kimberly's face and words in reaction to this vulgar idea. Jane isn't thrilled about it, but at least she takes advantage of everyone else looking elsewhere to track down her cute attorney and have some revenge sex with him. Billy and Alison clash over the ethics of attending Michael's party, and of course turn it into a referendum on their own relationship. At least that distracts them from trying to parent-trap Jo and Jake into a reunion -- which was always a long shot given that Jake and Jo are being forced to work together on the Sagebrush Beer campaign and hating every second of it. Not hating it? Amanda, because it gives her time to gaze upon Jake and, sometimes, rip his shirt open. Matt and Dr. Katya are still pals at the hospital...briefly, until she tells him her internship is over and she's out of extensions on her visa. Might Matt consider taking her last $1000 and marrying her so she can get her green card? We let you know what comes of this cold, hard cash and so much more in our podcast on "Hot And Bothered"!

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    NOTES

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    πŸ–ΌοΈ Check out this episode's Visual Aids


    MP S02.E05: Of Bikes And Men May 04, 2020
    Show notes

    Jane barely has time to get mad at Sydney for snitching on her and Sam to Michael before it's time for depositions to start in the case of Mancini v. Mancini! Jane is horrified when Michael starts confidently presenting Jane's relationship with Sam as though it started that time Sam kissed her, months ago, and never stopped; Jane's lawyer (Steven Eckholdt!) isn't thrilled to have the news of Sam's existence sprung on him this way. Michael is confident that his masterful lies will carry the day, but since he requires Kimberly to corroborate them, he might be a little too cocky. (Yes -- Michael!) After a good night's sleep, Jo wakes up and decides Jake probably didn't commit insurance fraud. He's still hurt that she ever doubted him at all, but they get past it, and he proceeds to another interview with the insurance adjuster, during which Jake somehow figures out that, actually, he did leave the blowtorch on a little. Stung by his own fuckup, he comes home to tell Jo, who (again) focuses on her lost investment, and Jake LOSES HIS MIND, wrecking the apartment and especially the fridge. Jo kicks him out, telling him the next day it's because she promised herself she'd never live with another violent man, and though she subsequently wishes she could take it back because she doesn't actually think Jake would hit her, Jake is too upset, and it seems as though they really are done for good. Billy (improbably) gets assigned to interview a publicity-shy hotel magnate (no such thing) and asks Alison to come, only telling her as they are parking that he wasn't supposed to bring a guest so she'll have to hide (this is credible, from Billy). Unfortunately, Alison's overreaction to a free stay in a five-star hotel with some minor inconveniences -- like eating dinner with a book instead of with Billy is such a hardship -- make her just as hard to root for as does Billy's gross unprofessionalism. Finally, it's time for Matt's "date" with Dr. Katya. But how will he tell her that his dates generally aren't of the female variety without hurting her feelings?! Roll on into our podcast on "Of Bikes And Men"!

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    NOTES

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    🌌 The Stars In The House Melrose Place Reunion

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    MP S02.E04: Fire Power Apr 27, 2020
    Show notes

    Still in denial about the connection between her drinking and her trauma, Alison is continuing to disappoint Amanda in her new position. Amanda is so disgusted by Alison's numerous screw-ups that she takes a number of Alison's new responsibilities off her plate, whereupon Billy decides it's his job to step in, and -- despite having promised Alison they wouldn't talk about Keith anymore to anyone -- tell Amanda the whole sordid story so that she'll give Alison a break. This is not, in fact, what Alison wants, but the important thing is that it gives Billy and Amanda another pretext to get together and talk about her behind her back! Jake and Jo have not been communicating well enough at the shop, so when he goes on a bike shopping spree and cleans out the bank account, he doesn't realize that money is for paying their tax installment, and he's about to bounce a cheque to the IRS. Then an accident causes a catastrophic fire that turns the store into a total write-off, but because of the state of their books, the insurance company thinks it's suspicious, and so does Jo. Encouraged by said fellow divorcee to take her mind off Michael by going on a no-pressure date, Jane asks Sam of the (then-)extramarital kiss to dinner. Sydney takes this goss straight to Michael, who threatens Sam, who asks Jane what's going on, who still doesn't appreciate the degree to which Sydney is telling Michael her business. Matt settles into his job at the hospital by helping a Russian doctor with her patient, not realizing that she might want to thank him by helping him off with his pants. We've got all the hot details on "Fire Power" in our latest podcast!

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    NOTES

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    πŸ’‘ Guiding Light episode from July 3, 1987


    MP S02.E03: Revenge Apr 20, 2020
    Show notes

    When we left Billy last time, he was booking a flight to Seattle, and sure enough, when we rejoin him here, he's...there, with nothing but a return address on a purloined piece of Alison's mail to guide him. He easily breaks into Keith's house to find that he has not exactly been getting revenge on Alison by living well: the place is a barely furnished sty, in which Keith sleeps on a bare mattress in the living room next to so many of Courtney Thorne-Smith's old headshots, which he's had framed. Billy then turns up at the oil refinery where Keith works, to threaten and then punch him. Keith's response? To wait for Billy to leave town, then phone Alison at work so she can hear as he makes an irrevocable decision. Through it all, Alison's been screwing up at work because she's distracted and traumatized; since she refuses to tell Amanda why but is also self-medicating with a lot of vodka, now also during work hours, Amanda can only conclude that Alison's drinking is the cause and not a side effect of what's actually derailing her. (Okay, it's also a cause.) Sydney takes advantage of Jane's self-caring self-involvement to worm her way into Michael's life -- which is actually convenient for him, because he needs a broad to do his laundry now that Jane's out of the picture, and while Kimberly flat-out refuses, Sydney's got nothing but time to pitch in. When she brings Michael his load (heh) and finds Kimberly lying out on the deck, it's pretty clear she doesn't believe either Kimberly OR Michael when they claim Kimberly is just his "associate," and that she's willing to exploit Michael's need for her to keep it quiet to try to get him to fool around with Sydney herself, as well. Though Jo is delighted that Amanda wants her to shoot the Sagebrush Beer campaign on the strength of her shots of Jake from the motorcycle race, she's a lot less thrilled that Amanda also wants to cast Jake himself as the Sagebrush Beer Man, suspecting ulterior motives, of horniness. You should get very excited in your own way -- chaste or otherwise -- for our podcast on "Revenge"!

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    NOTES

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    πŸ–ΌοΈ Check out this episode's Visual Aids

    πŸ’‘ Guiding Light episode from July 3, 1987


    MP S02.E02: A Long Night’s Journey Apr 13, 2020
    Show notes

    Billy and Alison can't wait for Keith to go back to Seattle and leave them to resume their very happy relationship. Alison's just going to go out with him for one last dinner and drive him to the airport, no big deal. Billy has continued to look into stalking and its tendency to be visited by spurned lovers on their former partners, but Alison isn't trying to hear it, right up until she goes to Keith's hotel room and sees that, actually, he's delayed the flight she thought she was there to drive him to; when she declines the dinner he's ordered them instead, he pushes her onto the bed and threatens to sexually assault her. While Jane tries to excise Michael from her life, Michael can't stop scheming to avoid the consequences of his cheating: he asks her to call off her lawyer; he tries to cultivate a laid-off Matt by getting him an interview for a job at the hospital; and he even butters up Sydney -- who's ostensibly come to town to support Jane -- so that he can play Sydney off her sister. As Jake ramps up (get it) his motorcycle racing career, Amanda also revs up her engine for Jake, while Jo watches warily and tries to keep them apart. Let's all take "A Long Night's Journey" together in our latest podcast!

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    NOTES

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    MP S02.E01: Much Ado About Everything Apr 06, 2020
    Show notes

    Rhonda has exited! Offscreen! Uh, bye! So Amanda has moved in (to Rhonda's old unit, which we know was a studio?) and is busily making friends with her female neighbours. Jo seems to enjoy hanging out until it becomes clear that, with Amanda finally moving on from Billy, she has taken notice of Jake -- and just in time for Jake and Jo to have moved in together, too. Why isn't Billy still on Amanda's menu? Well, Alison's stalker has started getting more aggressive. He's even gone after Keith with a tire iron, just like he did Billy! Surprisingly, Billy starts to get suspicious of this report since no one ever told him he was struck by a tire iron (and, of course, we know Keith just hit himself on the corner of his hotel room TV, so how he passed that off as a tire iron injury to anyone who examined him, we are sure we don't know). Billy digs into this new crime, "stalking," and finds out that the people who do it have usually experienced a romantic rejection. But will he be able to convince Alison? Jane is ready to exit her marriage with a minimum of hassle, but Michael the diva can't even agree to a no-fault divorce due to the injury it will cause his pride. After the ladies' squad end up out for dinner at the same restaurant as Michael and Kimberly, however, Jane reconsiders whether she does want to talk to a ruthless divorce lawyer Amanda (who else) knows and try to get a payout in the form of Michael's future earnings. We discuss it all in our podcast on "Much Ado About Everything"!

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    NOTES

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