Again With This: Dawson&#8217;s, Melrose, 90210

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🧬 C.S.I. S02.E11: "Organ Grinder"

MP S04.E01: Postmortem Madness Jun 21, 2021

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The Season 4 premiere picks up where the Season 3 finale left off: with Kimberly setting off an explosion at the Melrose Place apartment complex!!! In the immediate aftermath, we kind of just have to sort out who lived and died, but don't worry -- there are way more of the former than the latter. Peter has Kimberly (justifiably) committed to a psych ward; it doesn't seem like Schmob is still bothering her, but she also can't remember her part in the bombing or believe she actually could have done it. Billy and Brooke's marriage gets off to a rocky start when Billy asks to postpone the honeymoon due to, you know, all his friends who are injured -- most notably Alison, who has gone blind. It's probably only temporary, but she doesn't want Billy to know that. Matt is hurt by what he perceives as his parents' lack of support following his arrest on charges of capital murder, but does accept the fancy criminal lawyer they set him up with. Considering how much he hated Jess, and the reason the two of them were fighting at that construction site in the first place -- namely that Jess brutally attacked Jo -- Jake is being pretty pissy at Jo, the only other person in L.A. who is grieving Jess. And when Jane sees an opportunity for her career opening up thanks to the bombing, she doesn't really try to make it palatable for Richard, who finds her plans for the future of his company rather ghoulish. Please join us for our audio autopsy of "Postmortem Madness"!

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MP S03.E30: The Big Bang Jun 14, 2021

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Incarcerated at the county jail, Michael gets help from an unexpected visitor: DR. PETER BURNS. Apparently the whole time he's been gone he was just lying low on the advice of his excellent attorney, who's cleared him on all legal charges. Peter does still need to convince the medical board not to pull his license, which is why he's going to bail Michael out: to extort him into extolling Peter's skills as a doctor, which Michael is all too willing to do. (Peter's also romancing Kimberly all of a sudden, but that couldn't be so that she will ALSO vouch for him with the medical board...could it?!) Kimberly's mirror antagonist is also still around, and urging her to do harm to all the people who are trying to destroy her life; she doesn't need much convincing. Billy and Brooke are hurtling toward the altar, telling Hayley they want to hold the ceremony in a matter of days. Amanda is thrilled to be the one to tell Alison, when she phones the agency looking for Brooke, about the engagement. Alison calls Jo to get her advice on what to do, but makes the mistake of calling at dinner time; Jess grabs the phone away from Jo in the first of several controlling, intimidating, and violent moves against her. So while Alison may want Jo's help in stopping Brooke and Billy's wedding, Jo's...kind of got her own problems at the moment. Speaking of problems: Paul assures Matt that he's got one less, since Carol has moved out. Now they can start having their relationship out in the open! Paul will even give Matt a key to the house! Things sure are going well for Matt! It seems! Things AREN'T going so well for Jane, since the money she got from Sydney didn't cover all her debt, and now the company's in foreclosure. Finding out Amanda's newest client is Mackenzie Hart, Jane's biggest design idol, spurs her to contrive a meeting with the company's CEO, Mackenzie's husband Richard, to try to get a job. It works! Jane also gets a date, and then some, not knowing how complicated things are between the Harts. How do all these plotlines come together to send us off into the summer hiatus DYING to know what happens next? We'll tell all in our BIG podcast on this two-part season finale, "The Big Bang"!

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🎷 Melrose Place Jazz

MP S03.E29: Framing Of The Shrews Jun 07, 2021

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Just in case Amanda wasn't fully convinced in the last episode that Michael was stalking her at home, Kimberly ALSO shows up in the parking garage at D&D to creep Amanda out by following her to her car, which Kimberly has also tagged with a gigantic "Die, Bitch" on the driver's side. Amanda then gets on board, threatening Michael herself if he doesn't leave her alone, not knowing that Kimberly intends to trash the beach house, claw up her own face, and entrap Michael for having "beaten" her. But...there's more. Eek. While Alison gets her feet under her in Hong Kong, she's also anxious to find out what Billy thought of the heartfelt letter she gave Brooke to deliver to him, which is why it's too bad that (a) Brooke read and then shredded Alison's declaration of love and (b) wrote another one that basically left it to Billy whether he wanted to stay in her life or not. Jake wakes up in the hospital after surgery entirely convinced that Jess was behind the shooting, and is unimpressed by both Jess's and Jo's insistence that Jess is innocent. Jess's accomplice also shows up looking for the back half of his payment for services rendered, but since Jake is still alive, Jess feels he's already paid plenty. Matt tells Paul about his wife Carol's unsettling visit and lets him know he doesn't date married men. But when Paul says he's legally separated, Matt decides Paul's a good bet after all, not knowing that Paul is actually playing mind games with both Matt and Carol. Best beware our sting in our podcast on "Framing Of The Shrews"!

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🌽 Midwest Obsession on Amazon Prime Video

MP S03.E28: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang May 28, 2021

Show notes

Jake is still not okay with Jess and Jo's burgeoning relationship, so much so that he kicks Jess out and fires him from Shooters -- and, when Jo tries importuning him on Jess's behalf, lets her know he's not interested in seeing or talking to her as long as she and Jess are an item. In retaliation, Jess hits up a local pool hall and picks a fight with some toughs, apparently to determine whether they're up for the job of messing with Little Brother (drink!). Brooke is such a good friend to Alison that she arranges for her to interview for a position at Brooke's daddy's company, which comes with a fat salary, and a surprise: it's at his international headquarters in Hong Kong! Billy is all set to talk Alison out of moving so far from her friends, until Brooke urges him not to get in the way of Alison's career progress. What will he do?! Sydney meets with Jim again and gets a surprise of her own: he's an FBI agent who infiltrated Vince's drug ring and is juuuuust about to make a bust. But he likes her, so he advises her to resign as president of Mancini Designs, effective...well, a while ago. And she can't tell Jane because he can only save one of them. Things are still going SO great for Matt and Paul that, yes, it's time for him to find out Paul is married to a lady. Matt is ready to leave Paul alone for good until Paul appeals to Matt's innate kindness and begs him to help Paul work through his feelings: Paul never slept with a man before Matt! He says! Finally, we find out what Kimberly's actually plotting against Michael: she's going to destroy his career, and use Amanda -- and, frankly, Amanda's reasonable suspicions about Michael's ethics, medical and otherwise -- to do it. We've brought YOU a big, wet smooch in the form of our podcast on "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang"!

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MP S03.E27: Hose By Any Other Name May 24, 2021

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Sydney's gotten approached with a business deal from a couple of guys who just want to use the label to import and sell their pantyhose from China, and who know she used to work for Lauren. What could go wrong?! (You can probably guess.) She also happens to be home for the latest installment of Jess's attempt to bone Jo against every wall in Los Angeles, and since she hears everything on the other side of said wall at her place, she decides it's her place to snitch on them to Jake. Brooke does seem to be enjoying sex with Billy on its merits, but it also has fringe benefits, such as when he almost immediately betrays Alison's confidence and tells Brooke that Alison's On Notice with the D&D board: if she screws up one more thing, she's out. Obviously, she's in the process of screwing up one more thing when Brooke passes this intel on to Amanda, so she barely has to put in any effort to undermine Alison with this one. Kimberly gets the honour of an early graduation from Camp No More Victims after violently assaulting Sarge, and returns to Los Angeles with crazier eyes than ever, and an as-yet-unspecified plan of revenge against Michael. And when Wilshire Memorial's new plastic surgeon, Paul Graham, learns that Matt is gay, he's immediately intrigued. But he's also a guy dating Matt, so...yes, there is something wrong with him. Peel off your stockings and join us for our podcast on "Hose By Any Other Name"!

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📺 Seinfeld S05.E12: "The Stall" on Hulu

MP S03.E26: Melrose Impossible May 17, 2021

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Brooke and Amanda's plot to depose Alison gets a convenient boost when a rep for D&D's latest very important client happens to have a connection to Brooke's father: she's able to leverage what she knows about his past to manipulate Alison into pitching a concept that will, shall we say, not land. Meanwhile, Amanda is ALSO being set upon constantly by Michael, trying to talk her into seeing him again with compliments, begging, threats, and pasta. Kimberly has decided to change her situation by enrolling in an intensive program called No More Victims, which aims to teach her and her fellow boot campers how to regain control of their lives and learn to assert themselves. (We're not sure Kimberly's problem is that she was insufficiently assertive, but...sure!) Sydney approaches Jane with an offer to save the design firm with Sydney's ill-gotten insurance-settlement gains, and Jane is so desperate that she accepts, even on extremely unfavorable terms. And the more Jo tries to resist Jess's advances, the closer he gets. You may find it impossible to resist our podcast on "Melrose Impossible"!

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👺 Masquerade on HBO Max

MP S03.E25: All About Brooke May 10, 2021

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Michael's having a perfectly pleasant evening at home waiting for his wife to hurry up and die already when Sydney unexpectedly shows up and foils his plan. He's so distracted pretending to try to revive Kimberly that he doesn't notice Sydney stealing the suicide note for future blackmail purposes! Once Kimberly is conscious again, Sydney tells her about the scene she walked up on, but Kimberly denies she was trying to die by suicide: she says Michael poisoned her, and that if Sydney will help her plant evidence to that effect and also destroy her note, she'll give Sydney half the insurance settlement. When the cops show up and don't find the suicide note in their search of the beach house, Michael figures out who probably has it. Whom will Sydney be loyal to! Oh yeah: in the midst of all this, Michael also proposes to Amanda. It doesn't go great. Speaking of Amanda: she gets Billy to ask Alison to give her a job at D&D, and it works! Amanda returns with a great attitude even in a position MUCH more junior than the one she formerly held, but also sets about undermining Alison with the help of her secret accomplice, Brooke. Of course, Amanda could probably just wait for Alison to screw things up on her own, as she is busily doing with Billy and...whatever their relationship is now. Jess's attempts to worm his way back into Jake's life (or possibly take it over) get a big boost when someone leaves their credit card at Shooters. Jess then gets to use it to be a big man paying for dinner out for him, Jake, and Jo, but Jake knows just enough about Jess's financial history to be suspicious about how Jess got a credit card. Will Jo's empathy for Jess draw her closer, and leave Jake on the outside of their relationship? Hear all about it in our podcast on "All About Brooke"!

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Melrose Place Jazz at Discogs

MP S03.E24: To Live & Die In Malibu May 03, 2021

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As Amanda battles back to consciousness, Michael's got his own fights: Kimberly reveals that she's returned early from Minnesota, she doesn't buy his stories about why Amanda's lingerie is all over the beach house, and he is officially on notice. This just convinces him to accelerate his exit plans, but then Kimberly runs into the city's insurance guy at the hospital before Michael does and takes possession of that big settlement check, forcing Michael to make nice. Meanwhile, Alison continues being a bitch to everyone at D&D except Brooke. And why not -- Brooke is actually useful, offering her dad's palatial estate as a photo shoot location when another one falls through. Having Billy on her literal home turf causes Brooke to escalate her mind games with him, flirting super-hard just before her fiancé shows up. Surprise! Brooke later ends up at the hospital when Billy goes to visit Amanda, and Amanda makes a note. After making peace with Jake, Jess decides to test it by showing up in L.A. unannounced and manipulating Jake into giving him a job and letting Jess crash at his place. Sydney threatens Jess with exposure when she catches him rifling through the files in Jake's office, but it seems as though the Hanson brothers' family ties are going to be too strong for her to break...at least for now. We hope you're LIVING for our podcast on "To Live & Die In Malibu"!

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🥃 Shooters logo t-shirt

MP S03.E23: Love And Death 101 Apr 26, 2021

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The members of D&D's board of directors have taken notice of Amanda's increasing number of absences, and they've decided on a course of action: canning her and installing Alison in her place. It takes less than a day for Alison to learn that part of what made Amanda so surly in the role was the demands of the job. Desperate not to run into Alison, Amanda begs Michael to get her out of the complex, so he sends Kimberly to Minnesota to interview for a job at the Mayo Clinic so that Amanda can stay at the beach house in her absence. At the same time, Michael's also running a scam on the city, claiming the car accident five million episodes ago was caused by dangerous road conditions. He's close to a settlement, but Kimberly knows nothing about the lawsuit and is signing a bunch of papers he hands her without reading them because, apparently, she's forgotten...everything about her husband. Jake gets a call from an old friend in Washington State: Jake's mother has died, and he's stressed about going back and facing the older half-brother he's never mentioned -- including never in the entire time he was dating Jo, apparently. But she offers to go with him to lend moral support, and he's going to need it, because Jess (Dan Cortese!) has a big chip on his shoulder about Jake moving away and wants to make sure Jake knows at every possible opportunity. Get out your notebooks: class is in session with our podcast on "Love And Death 101"!

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