Advice to My Younger Self | SELF

Latest Episodes:

Creating a Workout Routine (For Real This Time) Jan 25, 2021

Show notes

In this episode of Checking In, we hear from Monica, a listener who says she knows she should develop a fitness and exercise routine—but she just can't find the motivation to get started. First, Carolyn consults with Amy Eisinger, SELF’s digital director (and a certified trainer). Amy shares useful tips about how to turn exercise into a lifelong habit (for real this time). Amy then speaks with Roz “The Diva” Mays, a pole dancing instructor and trainer, about her experience falling in love with different forms of exercise.

Apps and At-Home Fitness Options

More Workouts From SELF

Guests

Roz the Diva: Instagram and website

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What Is 'Healthy Eating', Anyway? Jan 18, 2021

Show notes

In this episode of Checking In, we hear from Robert, a listener whose doctor has told him that he should lose weight in order to bring down his high blood pressure. Robert’s loved ones also frequently make hurtful comments about his body size. He wants to know: Is weight loss the best or only option for him? To find out, Carolyn consults with Wendy Lopez and Jessica Jones, registered dietitians, SELF columnists, and hosts of the podcast Food Heaven. Wendy and Jess explain why focusing on weight loss can often do more harm than good. They also discuss alternative approaches such as intuitive eating and health at every size (HAES), as well as tips for navigating fatphobia from healthcare providers and loved ones.

To connect with Wendy Lopez and Jessica Jones, you can follow them @foodheaven, read their columns for SELF here and here, or listen to their podcast, Food Heaven.

SELF also has lots of information about Intuitive Eating, including debunking myths about what intuitive eating can actually do, and a personal essay from someone who’s tried it.

You can also read work from self-proclaimed “anti-diet dietitian,” Christy Harrison here, or listen to her podcast, Food Psych.

Lindo Bacon, who Wendy and Jess mention during the podcast, is the author of Health at Every Size, and is an intersectional body liberation advocate. Follow them here.

Writer Aubrey Gordon, who, at the time of this podcast recording, was identified only by her pseudonym Your Fat Friend, writes a column for SELF here. You can follow her @yourfatfriend, read more about why she decided to go public with her name, or check out her book, What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat.

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, for support, information, and treatment options, contact the National Eating Disorders Association helpline. For crisis situations, text “NEDA” to 741741 to be connected with a trained volunteer at Crisis Text Line.

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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Am I Drinking Too Much? Jan 11, 2021

Show notes

In this episode of Checking In, we hear from Elise, a listener who is taking a 90-day hiatus from drinking after realizing that her relationship with alcohol isn’t always healthy. She wants to know what happens next: Is complete sobriety the best or only option? Carolyn consults author and thought leader Glennon Doyle, who shares her personal experiences with addiction and sobriety, as well as advice about navigating life with authenticity. Carolyn also speaks with SELF editor Sarah Jacoby to learn more about alcohol use disorder and what different treatment options can look like.

You can follow Sarah Jacoby, SELF’s Associate News Director, on Instagram and Twitter, or read more of her work for SELF here.

Glennon Doyle is the author of multiple memoirs, including her most recent book, Untamed. You can follow her @glennondoyle.

If you or someone you know are interested in learning more about sobriety or cutting back on alcohol, here are several excellent resources.

As mentioned during the show, you may be interested in reading Laura McKowen’s We Are The Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life.
You can also check out Holly Whitaker’s recovery program, Tempest, read her book, Quit Like a Woman, or learn more about sobriety, addiction, and recovery by following @thetemper.
SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) also offers several resources for treatment programs, along with the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, which also offers guidance on selecting the treatment program that’s right for you.
If you’re looking for support groups, AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) continues to hold meetings across the country. And if AA doesn’t feel like the right fit, you can also read more about Moderation Management.

If you or someone you know is in a crisis situation, you can call the SAMHSA helpline 24/7/365 at 800-662-4357.

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Apple Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-apple

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How to Feel Less Alone Dec 21, 2020

Show notes

On this week's episode of Checking In, we hear from Deanne, a listener who lost her husband of 30 years to leukemia. Deanne's question is about moving past her grief and finding ways to not feel lonely—an especially challenging task given the current pandemic. Carolyn speaks with Dr. Katherine Shear, an internist, psychiatrist, and grief expert, plus Nora McInerny, a writer whose career includes two memoirs and countless conversations about death and grief.

Read more about Dr. Katherine Shear here, and more about The Center for Complicated Grief at Columbia University here. If you’re curious, this page does an excellent job at outlining the difference between grief and complicated grief. You can also learn more about grief milestones here.

Nora McInerny is the author of several books and the founder of the Hot Young Widows Club. You can follow her on Instagram @noraborealis, or check out her books, podcasts, and more right here.

If you’re looking for conversation and candid reflections on grief, check out Modern Loss, which offers advice, essays and more. You can also follow @oh.goodgrief, an online community that periodically hosts virtual gatherings and also offers advice to those who know someone who has suffered a loss.

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Apple Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-apple

Spotify: http://listen.self.com/self-spotify

Google Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-google

Don't forget to sign up for the Checking In newsletter here: https://www.self.com/newsletter/checking-in

If you have a health or wellness question of your own and want a chance to be featured on the podcast, you can submit it here.

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Sex Tips for Queer People (Or Anyone) Dec 14, 2020

Show notes

On this week's episode, Queer Eye star Jonathan Van Ness and sex therapist Casey Tanner, MA, LCPC give some truly servicey advice about how to have sex and start dating when you're newly out as queer. We cover a wide range of topics in this fun, thoughtful, and emotionally moving show, from lube to consent; safety to self-compassion. Here's to finding your person—and having a lot of (safe, consensual!) fun along the way.

There are several great resources available if you’re newly out as queer. During the episode, Carolyn suggests reading this VICE article: A Beginner's Guide for 'Straight' Women Who Want to Act on Queer Feelings, by Rachel Miller.

Casey Tanner, the queer sex educator on today’s episode, doles out stellar sex advice (for everyone!)—you can follow her @queersextherapy. You can also learn more about Casey’s offerings and upcoming online courses for couples here.

Jonathan Van Ness is a host on Netflix’s hit show, Queer Eye. You can follow him @jvn, check out his memoir, Over the Top: A Raw Journey to Self-Love, or read his recent profile from SELF right here.

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Apple Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-apple

Spotify: http://listen.self.com/self-spotify

Google Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-google

Don't forget to sign up for the Checking In newsletter here: https://www.self.com/newsletter/checking-in

If you have a health or wellness question of your own and want a chance to be featured on the podcast, you can submit it here.

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Shame Exorcism Dec 07, 2020

Show notes

In this episode of Checking In we hear from June, a woman who uses a CPAP machine to treat her sleep apnea. June tells us that she experiences a lot of shame and embarrassment about her CPAP machine when sleeping next to her partner, and she wants advice about how to deal. Carolyn chats with Morgan Greene, a chronic illness advocate and writer, and Sari Cooper, a sex therapist. In these conversations, our guests share advice about communicating effectively with your partner, asking for help when you need it, and adjusting to life with a chronic illness—one that absolutely can, and should, include love, joy, and deeply meaningful relationships.

Morgan Greene writes about her life with chronic illness, and also offers advice and resources on her blog. You can also follow her @iswaswillbeblog or subscribe to her YouTube channel.

For more about Sari Cooper, follow her @saricoopersexesteem, or learn more about her work at the Center for Love and Sex.

If you’re interested in learning more about the spoonie community or would like to connect with others who live with a chronic illness, start here with the original 2003 blog post that kicked off the movement. At the time of publication, there are over two million posts on Instagram that use the hashtag #spoonie. You can also follow the hashtag on Twitter. If you’re looking for a community of others living with a chronic illness, check out Patients Rising.

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Apple Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-apple

Spotify: http://listen.self.com/self-spotify

Google Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-google

Don't forget to sign up for the Checking In newsletter here: https://www.self.com/newsletter/checking-in

If you have a health or wellness question of your own and want a chance to be featured on the podcast, you can submit it here: https://forms.gle/jipYq22EGdtErQQq8

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Finding the One (Therapist Who Gets You) Nov 30, 2020

Show notes

In this episode we hear from Ecaroh, a young Black woman who needs help finding a therapist who understands what she's going through. Carolyn consults with SELF’s Executive Editor Zahra Barnes, who has reported extensively on mental health in general, as well as mental health for Black people in particular. Zahra then speaks with psychologist Jennifer Mullan (@DecolonizingTherapy on Instagram) about the beauty of finding a therapist who understands your lived experience, what it means to decolonize therapy, as well as resources for those having trouble finding a therapist who can best serve their needs.

For more information on Dr. Mullan, check out her website https://www.drjennifermullan.com/who-am-i and instagram @decolonizingtherapy

Here are some apps for self-care to try at home, made for and by Black people:

Liberate is a subscription-based meditation app that includes practices and talks designed for the Black community. According to their website, they have curated content from 40+ BIPOC teachers with a diverse background in lineage, perspective and approach, so that everyone can find a practice in their voice.
For self care tips, and great articles like, “How to talk to Black family members who may not want to understand mental illness” check out the app The Safe Place.
You can also try the Shine app, Started by a Black woman and half-Japanese woman, Shine makes caring for your mental and emotional health a habit. You can learn self-care strategies and access an audio library of 800+ original meditations, bedtime stories, and calming sounds to help you shift your mindset or mood.

And for directories, community building, and words of encouragement, Zahra’s article: 44 Mental Health Resources for Black People Trying to Survive in This Country.

If you’re thinking about teletherapy, here are some helpful tips from Zahra’s reporting:
Try to create an environment at home that helps you focus on your session. When you go to therapy in person, your session is held in a therapeutic environment—this means no distractions, no loud noises in the background, no talking to other people.
Don’t let your virtual therapy sessions sneak up on you! Make the most of your session and carve out some time beforehand to think about what you’d like to talk about.
For more tips on how to make teletherapy work for you, check out SELF’s How to Actually Have a Successful Teletherapy Appointment.

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End the Doom Scroll Nov 23, 2020

Show notes

In this episode, we meet Alexa, a social media editor who is looking for help disconnecting from the internet and creating a healthier work-life balance. Carolyn speaks with author Rachel Wilkerson Miller and psychologist Dr. Neda Gould to get their advice on practicing self-care and mindfulness.

Though it might seem tough to unplug these days, there are ways to make it happen. Check out SELF’s guide to cutting back on social media (without actually having to quit), plus some of the potential mental health benefits of deleting social media apps.

Dr. Neda Gould is a clinical psychologist and Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. She also serves as the associate director of the Anxiety Disorders Clinic at Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center. You can read more about Dr. Gould’s work at Johns Hopkins right here.

Rachel Wilkerson Miller is the Deputy Editor, Life, at VICE, and the author of two books: The Art of Showing Up, and Dot Journaling: A Practical Guide. You can follow Rachel on Instagram @the_rewm, subscribe to her newsletter, and check out her latest work for VICE.

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Apple Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-apple

Spotify: http://listen.self.com/self-spotify

Google Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-google

Don't forget to sign up for the Checking In newsletter here: https://www.self.com/newsletter/checking-in

If you have a health or wellness question of your own and want a chance to be featured on the podcast, you can submit it here: https://forms.gle/jipYq22EGdtErQQq8

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When Stress Gets Physical Nov 16, 2020

Show notes

In our first episode, we hear from a listener, Sarah, who has been grinding her teeth at night. Carolyn consults with Dr. Andrea Bonior, a psychologist who provides insight into how and why stress can manifest in the body, as well as some techniques to help reduce it.

You can learn more about TMJ disorders here.

Dr. Antonia Teruel works at the Head Pain Institute where she regularly treats patients who are dealing with orofacial pain, neuropathic pain, sleep apnea, and more. Read more about her work here.

Dr. Andrea Bonior, a licensed psychologist, is on the faculty at Georgetown University and is the author of several books, including her most recent title, Detox Your Thoughts. You can follow her on Twitter here.

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Apple Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-apple

Spotify: http://listen.self.com/self-spotify

Google Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-google

Don't forget to sign up for the Checking In newsletter here: https://www.self.com/newsletter/checking-in

If you have a health or wellness question of your own and want a chance to be featured on the podcast, you can submit it here.

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Introducing Checking In Nov 09, 2020

Show notes

Introducing Checking In, the advice podcast where we answer real health and wellness questions from real people like you. Hosted by SELF’s Editor in Chief, Carolyn Kylstra, and featuring trusted experts, doctors, therapists, thought leaders, and even a few celebrities, we’re diving deep into what it really means to be healthy. Checking In launches on Monday, November 16th, with new episodes releasing weekly. Subscribe to get episodes right when they drop at 6:00 am EST.

Listen to Checking In here:

Or wherever you get your podcasts.

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