Advice to My Younger Self | SELF

Sheryl Lee Ralph Talks About Motherhood, Hitting Big Milestones, and Learning to Be Patient Mar 21, 2024

Abbott Elementary actress and SELF cover star Sheryl Lee Ralph gives advice to her younger self at key moments in her life: when she was a young woman, during the early days of the AIDS crisis, when she became a mom, the day before she won her Emmy, and when she was about to turn 40.

This podcast was produced by Hayley Fager, Rachel Miller, and Westry Green, and edited by Hayley Fager. Peyton Hayes is our audio production coordinator, Jake Loomis is our audio engineer, and Caitlin Brody and Sergio Kletnoy are our talent bookers.

Ali Krieger Talks About Being a Young Athlete, Coming Out, and Motherhood Jan 23, 2024

In our inaugural episode, soccer star Ali Krieger gives advice to her younger self at four key moments: as a kid, when she was coming out, when she didn’t make the women’s national team, and when she became a mom.

This podcast was produced by Hayley Fager and Rachel Miller, and edited by Hayley Fager. Peyton Hayes is our audio production coordinator, Jake Lummus is our audio engineer, and Caitlin Brody and Sergio Kletnoy are our talent bookers.

Bonus: Get Grounded: Tips and Techniques for Staying More Relaxed Jul 12, 2021

In this bonus episode, Dr. Mariel Buquè is back, sitting down with Zahra to talk about how to stay more relaxed throughout our workdays. Dr. Buquè talks about why reducing stress can be such a challenge, offering tips and techniques for staying grounded. She then takes us through a guided mindfulness exercise.

Bonus: Busting Myths About COVID-19 Vaccines and Black and Latinx Communities Jul 05, 2021

In this bonus episode, we’re continuing our coverage of the COVID-19 vaccines. We revisit a panel that Zahra hosted with David Kaufman, digital director at Architectural Digest, about myths and myth-busting around the vaccines and Black and Latinx communities. Along with experts Dr. Leon McDougle, Dr. Gbenga Ogedegbe, and registered nurse Sandra Lindsay, they discuss how to address inequitable vaccine access, the valid questions many people may have about these vaccines, and much more.

Becoming Your Own Advocate May 17, 2021

In our last episode of the season, we hear from Victoria, an archivist who was forced to find answers on her own about her endometriosis. Like many others diagnosed with a chronic illness, she’s faced multiple hurdles while navigating the medical system. Even though she’s learned a lot along the way, she wants to know how to continue to advocate for herself to her doctor—and how she can advocate for others in similar positions as well. Zahra consults Lauren Selfridge, L.M.F.T., a psychotherapist with multiple sclerosis and the host of This Is Not What I Ordered, a podcast about “full-hearted” living with chronic illness. Lauren shares her experience with multiple sclerosis, and how to find empathetic medical professionals who take you seriously, and the power of a good second opinion.

You can learn more about Lauren’s work at her website (https://laurenselfridge.com) and you can follow her on Instagram @laurenselfridgeofficical (https://www.instagram.com/laurenselfridgeofficial/?hl=en).

You can listen to her podcast This Is Not What I Ordered wherever you get your podcasts.

Here are some SELF resources and articles about navigating life when you have a chronic illness:

Opening Up About Your Chronic Illness

(https://www.self.com/story/checking-in-podcast-multiple-sclerosis)

Writing A Chronic Illness Elevator Pitch Has Made My Doctor’s Appointments So Much Easier

(https://www.self.com/story/chronic-illness-elevator-pitch)

Let’s Talk About Dating and Relationships When You Have a Chronic Illness

(https://www.self.com/story/checking-in-podcast-sex-love-sleep-apnea)

For People with Chronic Illness, Social Isolation Is Nothing New

(https://www.self.com/story/chronic-illness-social-isolation-coronavirus)

I’m Furious That It Took Almost a Decade to Diagnose My Chronic Pain

(https://www.self.com/story/chronic-pain-ankylosing-spondylitis)

If It Isn’t Chronic Lyme, What Is It?

(https://www.self.com/story/chronic-lyme)

How to Support a Friend Who’s Just Been Diagnosed With a Chronic Illness

(https://www.self.com/story/support-friend-chronic-illness)

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Apple Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-apple

Spotify: http://listen.self.com/self-spotify

Google Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-google

Don't forget to sign up for the Checking In newsletter here: https://www.self.com/newsletter/checking-in

If you have a health or wellness question of your own and want a chance to be featured on the podcast, you can submit it here.

The (New) Rules of Dating May 10, 2021

In this episode of Checking In, we hear from Loree, who is unsure about how to navigate dating right now. Online dating could be difficult even before the pandemic. Now, trust is even trickier to establish when it comes to things like vaccination status, caution levels, and boundaries. Not to mention how daunting dating again can be after so much social isolation. To help Loree figure it all out, Zahra first consults SELF senior health editor Patia Braithwaite about what she’s noticed in her coverage of dating life since the pandemic began. Then Zahra chats with Traci Medeiros-Bagan, L.M.F.T., a relationship therapist based out of California. They give advice on how to have these tricky conversations with someone you’re interested in, and how to figure out your own boundaries during this time.

You can read Patia’s work at SELF here, and follow her on Twitter @PdorBRaithw8.

You can learn more about Traci’s work on their website: http://compassionaterevolt.com/

Check out these SELF articles about dating during this time and the many questions it brings up:

Pandemic Dating Is Hard--But Hasn’t It Always Been Difficult? (https://www.self.com/story/dating-during-pandemic)

9 Ways Non-Monogamous People Are Dealing With the Pandemic (https://www.self.com/story/non-monogamous-pandemic-dating)

How To Deal If Being Single Has You Worried About “Biological Clocks” and Timelines (https://www.self.com/story/being-single-stress-about-the-future)

16 Quarantine Date Ideas That Are Actually Really Great

(https://www.self.com/story/quarantine-date-ideas)

I Book Club with Bumble Matches--Here’s What I’ve Learned

(https://www.self.com/story/bumble-book-club)

Road Test: I Tried Hinge’s Virtual Date Night Kit

(https://www.self.com/story/hinge-virtual-date-kit)

Is Your Rebound Relationship Actually Harmful?

(https://www.self.com/story/rebound-relationship)

Yes, Your Situationship Breakup Is Real

(https://www.self.com/story/situationship-breakup)

16 Intriguing Dating Apps To Try If You Want To Meet Someone New

(https://www.self.com/story/16-dating-apps)

Everything Isn’t A Red Flag--Here’s How to Tell the Difference

(https://www.self.com/story/red-flag-green-and-yellow-flags)

8 Cute Date Ideas to Try If you’re Tired of Staying Inside

(https://www.self.com/story/outdoor-date-ideas)

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Apple Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-apple

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If you have a health or wellness question of your own and want a chance to be featured on the podcast, you can submit it here.

The Healing Powers of Gratitude and Joy, featuring Kristen Bell May 03, 2021

In this episode of Checking In, we hear from Jenna, a listener who has a question many of us feel deep down during this time: How can we help ourselves feel better when the world is basically a dumpster fire? Sometimes, adding even just one more thing to your to-do list feels insurmountable. Zahra consults Mariel Buqué, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist and holistic mental health expert based in NYC. She’s been helping her clients adjust to pandemic life stressors, particularly by emphasizing the connection between mind, body, and soul. Dr. Buqué offers some practical tips for incorporating gratitude and joy into your life so that you actually feel better—without veering into toxic positivity. After that, Zahra chats with actor and mental health advocate Kristen Bell, who is also SELF’s May digital cover star. They discuss how to set up a personal toolkit to deal with life in an overwhelming world, why Bell is a big fan of gratitude lists, and how she tries to find contentment in her day-to-day life.

You can learn more about Mariel Buqué’s work here, and you can follow her on Instagram @dr.marielbuque.

You can follow Kristen Bell on Instagram @kristenanniebell and on Twitter @KristenBell. And here’s SELF’s May digital cover, featuring Bell discussing everything from parenting in a pandemic to how her husband, Dax Shepard, helps her cope with anxiety and depression.

For some helpful tips on how to begin a gratitude practice and how to try to find joy even when the world feels pretty awful, check out these articles:

The Healing Powers of Gratitude

4 Small Ways to Practice Gratitude Every Day

Please Celebrate Yourself—Even During a Pandemic

Black Joy Isn’t Frivolous--It’s Necessary

In Praise of Black People Laughing

What Is Resilience, and Can It Help Us Bounce Back From This?

13 Small but Impactful Ways to Cultivate Resilience

And here are some of the resources we mentioned for navigating really tough feelings in a way that goes beyond gratitude and joy:

7 Ways to Find an Actually Affordable Therapist

10 Online Support Groups for Anyone Struggling to Get Through 2020

41 Mental Health Apps That Will Make Life a Little Easier

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Apple Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-apple

Spotify: http://listen.self.com/self-spotify

Google Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-google

Don't forget to sign up for the Checking In newsletter here: https://www.self.com/newsletter/checking-in

If you have a health or wellness question of your own and want a chance to be featured on the podcast, you can submit it here.

How to Have the Best Birth Experience Possible—Even in a Pandemic Apr 26, 2021

In this episode we hear from Stasia, a pregnant Black woman who wants to know how to prepare for birth and how to advocate for herself along the way. Zahra chats with Kameelah Phillips, M.D., an ob-gyn and women’s health advocate based in NYC. One of her core interests is health care disparities—and how to help prevent them. Zahra also consults with Latham Thomas, a doula and the founder of Mama Glow who focuses on care along the childbearing continuum. They discuss how to navigate the system as a Black pregnant person and how giving birth looks different during the pandemic.

You can learn more about Dr. Phillips’ work or seek care at www.callawomenshealth.com, and follow her on Instagram @dr.kameelahsays.

You can learn more about Mama Glow and its supportive community at www.mamaglow.com, and follow Latham Thomas on Instagram @glowmaven.

For resources, information, and a variety of articles on Black maternal mortality, visit SELF’s extensive series on the issue. For other related articles, check out:

What It’s Like to Be a Doula Working With Black Pregnant People Right Now

There Are Joyful Black Birth Stories--This New Podcast Is Highlighting Them

I Got the COVID-19 Vaccine While Pregnant—Here's Why

COVID-19 Vaccines Are Safe for Pregnant and Breastfeeding People, According to New Study

Pregnant And Worried About Coronavirus? You’re Not Alone

Some People Are Disclosing Their Pregnancies ‘Early’ Because of the Coronavirus

The Deep Loneliness of Having a Baby in a Pandemic

What It’s Like to Pause Fertility Treatments Because of Coronavirus

How Years of Infertility Prepared Me for Pregnancy During the Coronavirus Crisis

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Apple Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-apple

Spotify: http://listen.self.com/self-spotify

Google Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-google

Don't forget to sign up for the Checking In newsletter here: https://www.self.com/newsletter/checking-in

If you have a health or wellness question of your own and want a chance to be featured on the podcast, you can submit it here.

How to Actually Start Meditating Apr 19, 2021

In this episode we hear from Nan, a young woman who is trying to figure out if meditation is right for her. Zahra consults with SELF’s health editor, Carolyn Todd, who has reported extensively on what meditation can and can’t do for your health. Then Zahra speaks with a mindfulness meditation teacher, Kriste Peoples, who walks us through what starting a meditation practice can look like and talks about her work facilitating meditation for people of color.

You can follow Carolyn @CarolynLTodd on Twitter, and read more of her work here: https://www.self.com/contributor/carolyn-todd

You can learn more about Kriste’s many roles on her website: https://kristepeoples.com. And you can follow her on Instagram @kristepeoples.

Here are some meditation apps:

Liberate is a subscription-based meditation app that includes practices and talks designed for the Black community. According to their website, they have curated content from 40+ teachers of color with a diverse background in lineage, perspective, and approach, so that everyone can find a practice in their voice.

Headspace is a subscription-based meditation app with a friendly interface. It helps guide you through meditations, both single mediations and dozens of courses that address anxiety, loneliness, gratitude, and much more.

10 Percent Happier is dedicated to skeptics. You can even connect to a coach that will answer all your questions, and the app has also spun off into a podcast and book you may find helpful.

Here are some SELF articles full of information, tips, and resources:

How to Meditate When You Have No Idea When to Start

The Has Never Been A Better Time to Start Meditating

The 15 Best Meditation Apps, According to People Who Actually Meditate

What Meditation Can -- and Can’t -- Do For Your Health

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Apple Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-apple

Spotify: http://listen.self.com/self-spotify

Google Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-google

Don't forget to sign up for the Checking In newsletter here: https://www.self.com/newsletter/checking-in

If you have a health or wellness question of your own and want a chance to be featured on the podcast, you can submit it here.

Let’s Talk About COVID-19 Vaccines! Apr 12, 2021

Welcome to Season 2 of Checking In with our new host, Zahra Barnes, SELF’s interim editor in chief. In this episode, we hear from several listeners with common questions and concerns about the COVID-19 vaccines. Questions like: Where can I get vaccinated? Should I get the vaccine if I have underlying health conditions? What if I’m breastfeeding? How do I manage my anxiety about getting vaccinated?

Zahra first consults with epidemiologist and SELF contributor Tara Smith, Ph.D., who takes us through how the vaccine works, why the vast majority of side effects are nothing to worry about, and what you need to know before getting the vaccine. Zahra then talks to SELF’s associate news director, Sarah Jacoby, who has been covering the pandemic and the vaccines extensively. Sarah shares her experience getting her COVID-19 vaccine as well as a glimpse of what life post-vaccination might look like.

To connect with Dr. Smith and Sarah, you can follow them on Twitter @aetiology and @sarah_jacoby, respectively, and read their work for SELF here (https://www.self.com/contributor/tara-smith) and here (https://www.self.com/contributor/sarah-jacoby).

Zahra mentions a March 2021 survey about there being little difference in vaccine hesitancy between Black and white Americans. You can find more information on that here (https://www.npr.org/sections/coronavirus-live-updates/2021/03/12/976172586/little-difference-in-vaccine-hesitancy-among-white-and-black-americans-poll-find). And here are several SELF articles on coronavirus vaccines that you may find helpful, including a guide to getting a vaccination appointment:

Here’s How to Get the COVID-19 Vaccine: https://www.self.com/story/how-to-get-covid-vaccine

9 Ways to Prepare for Your COVID-19 Appointment: https://www.self.com/story/prepare-for-covid-19-vaccine-appointment

Does It Matter Which COVID-19 Vaccine You Get?: https://www.self.com/story/which-covid-19-vaccine

mRNA Coronavirus Vaccines: 9 Questions, Answered: https://www.self.com/story/mrna-coronavirus-vaccine-questions

How Much Do You Need To Worry About Coronavirus Variants?: https://www.self.com/story/coronavirus-variants

7 Small Things You Can Do To Help Protect Yourself From Coronavirus Variants: https://www.self.com/story/coronavirus-variant-precautions

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Apple Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-apple

Spotify: http://listen.self.com/self-spotify

Google Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-google

Don't forget to sign up for the Checking In newsletter here: https://www.self.com/newsletter/checking-in

If you have a health or wellness question of your own and want a chance to be featured on the podcast, you can submit it here: https://forms.gle/L7GvikSPPaouASqK9

BONUS | The High Cost of Caring: Compassion Fatigu‪e‬ Mar 22, 2021

While we are getting things ready for Season 2 of Checking In, we wanted to share a bonus episode with you from our friends at The Savvy Psychologist! Dr. Jade Wu takes the science of psychology and makes it both entertaining and relatable – we're excited to be bringing you one of our favorites from their show for our Checking In audience.

Some people who continuously care for others burn out and experience compassion fatigue, a very real and natural psychological phenomenon. This episode discusses recognizing compassion fatigue and creating coping mechanisms, beginning with having compassion for oneself.

Stay tuned for Season 2 of Checking In soon, and make sure to subscribe to The Savvy Psychologist for more great episodes like this one.

Dude, Where’s My Sex Drive? Feb 15, 2021

In this episode of Checking In, we hear from Traci, a listener who has recently given birth and is struggling to rekindle intimacy with her husband. She wants to know: Is this normal? Carolyn shares some of her own postpartum experiences and reassures Traci that she’s far from alone. Carolyn then speaks with journalist Angela Garbes, as well as therapist and sex educater Dr. Lexx-Brown James, to learn more about the challenges, nuances—and yes!—eventual pleasure, of having sex after giving birth.

Angela Garbes is a journalist and author of Like a Mother. Her writing has appeared in the New York Times, The Cut, New York, Bon Appetit, and has been featured on NPR’s Fresh Air. You can follow her on Instagram @AngelaGarbes, and subscribe to her newsletter.

Lexx Brown-James, L.M.F.T., is a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex educator. You can follow her on Instagram @lexxsexdoc and on Twitter @lexxsexdoc.

If you’ve recently given birth, here are several articles you may find helpful:

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Sign up for the Checking In newsletter here: https://www.self.com/newsletter/checking-in

If you have a health or wellness question of your own and want a chance to be featured on the podcast, you can submit it here.

This Wasn't In the Manual Feb 08, 2021

In this episode of Checking In, we hear from Sophie, a listener who was recently diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. She cares deeply about her career and is worried that her colleagues will make assumptions about her capabilities in light of this diagnosis. She wants to know: How much should she disclose to them? Carolyn consults with Lauren Selfridge, a psychotherapist who lives with multiple sclerosis herself. They discuss the unique challenges of navigating relationships while living with a chronic illness, as well as the ways in which those relationships can sometimes become more meaningful as a result.

Lauren Selfridge is a psychotherapist, who also lives with multiple sclerosis. You can follow her @laurenselfridgeofficial or learn more about her practice here.

If you think you are at risk for MS, check out this piece on the early warning signs people should watch for. If you’ve recently been diagnosed with MS, there are several great resources you may find helpful.

Here are some questions you may want to ask your doctor about your diagnosis.
You can also read about the experiences from others who are living with MS here and here.

And if someone you love was recently diagnosed, check out this article on how you can support them.

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Sign up for the Checking In newsletter here: https://www.self.com/newsletter/checking-in

If you have a health or wellness question of your own and want a chance to be featured on the podcast, you can submit it here.

Eating Disorders Don’t Discriminate Feb 01, 2021

In this episode of Checking In, we hear from Sara, a listener who has struggled with an eating disorder for over a decade. She wants to know what recovery looks like, and she also notes that as a Black woman, she feels that eating disorders are seen as taboo in her community. Carolyn talks to psychiatrist Dr. Erikka Dzirasa about how racial bias can create significant barriers to treatment for BIPOC who live with eating disorders. They also discuss the benefits of a multifaceted approach to treatment, as well as the hope and joy in recovery.

Show Notes

The following show notes have been compiled with help from Checking In podcast producer Andrea Betanzos. Thank you, Andrea, for all your work and help with this episode!

There are so many great resources for Black, indigenous, and other people of color to find and build the support team they need. Here are some people, organizations, and resources to check out:

Project HEAL’s goal is to serve people with eating disorders who aren't being served by the current system. You can apply for support through their treatment access programs, and they also offer resources for navigating insurance.
If you're looking for community, try Nalgona Positivity Pride, an “in-community eating disorders and body-positive organization dedicated in creating visibility and resources for Black, Indigenous, communities of color (BICC.).” As part of Nalgona Positivity Pride, Sage + Spoon is a support group created by and for people of color and indigenous groups.
Registered dietician Whitney Trotter published the BIPOC Eating Disorder Providers list, a resource to find providers for your specific needs.
Not sure how to educate your support system? Beat Eating Disorders has some tips on how to be a caregiver.
SELF's executive editor Zahra Barnes pulled together this list of 44 Mental Health Resources for Black People Trying to Survive in This Country.

For support, information, and treatment options, contact the National Eating Disorders Association helpline. For crisis situations, text “NEDA” to 741741 to be connected with a trained volunteer at Crisis Text Line.

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Apple Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-apple

Spotify: http://listen.self.com/self-spotify

Google Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-google

Don't forget to sign up for the Checking In newsletter here: https://www.self.com/newsletter/checking-in

If you have a health or wellness question of your own and want a chance to be featured on the podcast, you can submit it here.

Creating a Workout Routine (For Real This Time) Jan 25, 2021

In this episode of Checking In, we hear from Monica, a listener who says she knows she should develop a fitness and exercise routine—but she just can't find the motivation to get started. First, Carolyn consults with Amy Eisinger, SELF’s digital director (and a certified trainer). Amy shares useful tips about how to turn exercise into a lifelong habit (for real this time). Amy then speaks with Roz “The Diva” Mays, a pole dancing instructor and trainer, about her experience falling in love with different forms of exercise.

Apps and At-Home Fitness Options

More Workouts From SELF

Guests

Roz the Diva: Instagram and website

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Apple Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-apple

Spotify: http://listen.self.com/self-spotify

Google Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-google

Don't forget to sign up for the Checking In newsletter here: https://www.self.com/newsletter/checking-in

If you have a health or wellness question of your own and want a chance to be featured on the podcast, you can submit it here.

What Is 'Healthy Eating', Anyway? Jan 18, 2021

In this episode of Checking In, we hear from Robert, a listener whose doctor has told him that he should lose weight in order to bring down his high blood pressure. Robert’s loved ones also frequently make hurtful comments about his body size. He wants to know: Is weight loss the best or only option for him? To find out, Carolyn consults with Wendy Lopez and Jessica Jones, registered dietitians, SELF columnists, and hosts of the podcast Food Heaven. Wendy and Jess explain why focusing on weight loss can often do more harm than good. They also discuss alternative approaches such as intuitive eating and health at every size (HAES), as well as tips for navigating fatphobia from healthcare providers and loved ones.

To connect with Wendy Lopez and Jessica Jones, you can follow them @foodheaven, read their columns for SELF here and here, or listen to their podcast, Food Heaven.

SELF also has lots of information about Intuitive Eating, including debunking myths about what intuitive eating can actually do, and a personal essay from someone who’s tried it.

You can also read work from self-proclaimed “anti-diet dietitian,” Christy Harrison here, or listen to her podcast, Food Psych.

Lindo Bacon, who Wendy and Jess mention during the podcast, is the author of Health at Every Size, and is an intersectional body liberation advocate. Follow them here.

Writer Aubrey Gordon, who, at the time of this podcast recording, was identified only by her pseudonym Your Fat Friend, writes a column for SELF here. You can follow her @yourfatfriend, read more about why she decided to go public with her name, or check out her book, What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat.

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, for support, information, and treatment options, contact the National Eating Disorders Association helpline. For crisis situations, text “NEDA” to 741741 to be connected with a trained volunteer at Crisis Text Line.

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Apple Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-apple

Spotify: http://listen.self.com/self-spotify

Google Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-google

Don't forget to sign up for the Checking In newsletter here: https://www.self.com/newsletter/checking-in

If you have a health or wellness question of your own and want a chance to be featured on the podcast, you can submit it here.

Am I Drinking Too Much? Jan 11, 2021

In this episode of Checking In, we hear from Elise, a listener who is taking a 90-day hiatus from drinking after realizing that her relationship with alcohol isn’t always healthy. She wants to know what happens next: Is complete sobriety the best or only option? Carolyn consults author and thought leader Glennon Doyle, who shares her personal experiences with addiction and sobriety, as well as advice about navigating life with authenticity. Carolyn also speaks with SELF editor Sarah Jacoby to learn more about alcohol use disorder and what different treatment options can look like.

You can follow Sarah Jacoby, SELF’s Associate News Director, on Instagram and Twitter, or read more of her work for SELF here.

Glennon Doyle is the author of multiple memoirs, including her most recent book, Untamed. You can follow her @glennondoyle.

If you or someone you know are interested in learning more about sobriety or cutting back on alcohol, here are several excellent resources.

As mentioned during the show, you may be interested in reading Laura McKowen’s We Are The Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life.
You can also check out Holly Whitaker’s recovery program, Tempest, read her book, Quit Like a Woman, or learn more about sobriety, addiction, and recovery by following @thetemper.
SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) also offers several resources for treatment programs, along with the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, which also offers guidance on selecting the treatment program that’s right for you.
If you’re looking for support groups, AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) continues to hold meetings across the country. And if AA doesn’t feel like the right fit, you can also read more about Moderation Management.

If you or someone you know is in a crisis situation, you can call the SAMHSA helpline 24/7/365 at 800-662-4357.

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Apple Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-apple

Spotify: http://listen.self.com/self-spotify

Google Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-google

Don't forget to sign up for the Checking In newsletter here: https://www.self.com/newsletter/checking-in

If you have a health or wellness question of your own and want a chance to be featured on the podcast, you can submit it here.

How to Feel Less Alone Dec 21, 2020

On this week's episode of Checking In, we hear from Deanne, a listener who lost her husband of 30 years to leukemia. Deanne's question is about moving past her grief and finding ways to not feel lonely—an especially challenging task given the current pandemic. Carolyn speaks with Dr. Katherine Shear, an internist, psychiatrist, and grief expert, plus Nora McInerny, a writer whose career includes two memoirs and countless conversations about death and grief.

Read more about Dr. Katherine Shear here, and more about The Center for Complicated Grief at Columbia University here. If you’re curious, this page does an excellent job at outlining the difference between grief and complicated grief. You can also learn more about grief milestones here.

Nora McInerny is the author of several books and the founder of the Hot Young Widows Club. You can follow her on Instagram @noraborealis, or check out her books, podcasts, and more right here.

If you’re looking for conversation and candid reflections on grief, check out Modern Loss, which offers advice, essays and more. You can also follow @oh.goodgrief, an online community that periodically hosts virtual gatherings and also offers advice to those who know someone who has suffered a loss.

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Apple Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-apple

Spotify: http://listen.self.com/self-spotify

Google Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-google

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If you have a health or wellness question of your own and want a chance to be featured on the podcast, you can submit it here.

Sex Tips for Queer People (Or Anyone) Dec 14, 2020

On this week's episode, Queer Eye star Jonathan Van Ness and sex therapist Casey Tanner, MA, LCPC give some truly servicey advice about how to have sex and start dating when you're newly out as queer. We cover a wide range of topics in this fun, thoughtful, and emotionally moving show, from lube to consent; safety to self-compassion. Here's to finding your person—and having a lot of (safe, consensual!) fun along the way.

There are several great resources available if you’re newly out as queer. During the episode, Carolyn suggests reading this VICE article: A Beginner's Guide for 'Straight' Women Who Want to Act on Queer Feelings, by Rachel Miller.

Casey Tanner, the queer sex educator on today’s episode, doles out stellar sex advice (for everyone!)—you can follow her @queersextherapy. You can also learn more about Casey’s offerings and upcoming online courses for couples here.

Jonathan Van Ness is a host on Netflix’s hit show, Queer Eye. You can follow him @jvn, check out his memoir, Over the Top: A Raw Journey to Self-Love, or read his recent profile from SELF right here.

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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Shame Exorcism Dec 07, 2020

In this episode of Checking In we hear from June, a woman who uses a CPAP machine to treat her sleep apnea. June tells us that she experiences a lot of shame and embarrassment about her CPAP machine when sleeping next to her partner, and she wants advice about how to deal. Carolyn chats with Morgan Greene, a chronic illness advocate and writer, and Sari Cooper, a sex therapist. In these conversations, our guests share advice about communicating effectively with your partner, asking for help when you need it, and adjusting to life with a chronic illness—one that absolutely can, and should, include love, joy, and deeply meaningful relationships.

Morgan Greene writes about her life with chronic illness, and also offers advice and resources on her blog. You can also follow her @iswaswillbeblog or subscribe to her YouTube channel.

For more about Sari Cooper, follow her @saricoopersexesteem, or learn more about her work at the Center for Love and Sex.

If you’re interested in learning more about the spoonie community or would like to connect with others who live with a chronic illness, start here with the original 2003 blog post that kicked off the movement. At the time of publication, there are over two million posts on Instagram that use the hashtag #spoonie. You can also follow the hashtag on Twitter. If you’re looking for a community of others living with a chronic illness, check out Patients Rising.

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Apple Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-apple

Spotify: http://listen.self.com/self-spotify

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Finding the One (Therapist Who Gets You) Nov 30, 2020

In this episode we hear from Ecaroh, a young Black woman who needs help finding a therapist who understands what she's going through. Carolyn consults with SELF’s Executive Editor Zahra Barnes, who has reported extensively on mental health in general, as well as mental health for Black people in particular. Zahra then speaks with psychologist Jennifer Mullan (@DecolonizingTherapy on Instagram) about the beauty of finding a therapist who understands your lived experience, what it means to decolonize therapy, as well as resources for those having trouble finding a therapist who can best serve their needs.

For more information on Dr. Mullan, check out her website https://www.drjennifermullan.com/who-am-i and instagram @decolonizingtherapy

Here are some apps for self-care to try at home, made for and by Black people:

Liberate is a subscription-based meditation app that includes practices and talks designed for the Black community. According to their website, they have curated content from 40+ BIPOC teachers with a diverse background in lineage, perspective and approach, so that everyone can find a practice in their voice.
For self care tips, and great articles like, “How to talk to Black family members who may not want to understand mental illness” check out the app The Safe Place.
You can also try the Shine app, Started by a Black woman and half-Japanese woman, Shine makes caring for your mental and emotional health a habit. You can learn self-care strategies and access an audio library of 800+ original meditations, bedtime stories, and calming sounds to help you shift your mindset or mood.

And for directories, community building, and words of encouragement, Zahra’s article: 44 Mental Health Resources for Black People Trying to Survive in This Country.

If you’re thinking about teletherapy, here are some helpful tips from Zahra’s reporting:
Try to create an environment at home that helps you focus on your session. When you go to therapy in person, your session is held in a therapeutic environment—this means no distractions, no loud noises in the background, no talking to other people.
Don’t let your virtual therapy sessions sneak up on you! Make the most of your session and carve out some time beforehand to think about what you’d like to talk about.
For more tips on how to make teletherapy work for you, check out SELF’s How to Actually Have a Successful Teletherapy Appointment.

End the Doom Scroll Nov 23, 2020

In this episode, we meet Alexa, a social media editor who is looking for help disconnecting from the internet and creating a healthier work-life balance. Carolyn speaks with author Rachel Wilkerson Miller and psychologist Dr. Neda Gould to get their advice on practicing self-care and mindfulness.

Though it might seem tough to unplug these days, there are ways to make it happen. Check out SELF’s guide to cutting back on social media (without actually having to quit), plus some of the potential mental health benefits of deleting social media apps.

Dr. Neda Gould is a clinical psychologist and Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. She also serves as the associate director of the Anxiety Disorders Clinic at Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center. You can read more about Dr. Gould’s work at Johns Hopkins right here.

Rachel Wilkerson Miller is the Deputy Editor, Life, at VICE, and the author of two books: The Art of Showing Up, and Dot Journaling: A Practical Guide. You can follow Rachel on Instagram @the_rewm, subscribe to her newsletter, and check out her latest work for VICE.

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Apple Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-apple

Spotify: http://listen.self.com/self-spotify

Google Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-google

Don't forget to sign up for the Checking In newsletter here: https://www.self.com/newsletter/checking-in

If you have a health or wellness question of your own and want a chance to be featured on the podcast, you can submit it here: https://forms.gle/jipYq22EGdtErQQq8

When Stress Gets Physical Nov 16, 2020

In our first episode, we hear from a listener, Sarah, who has been grinding her teeth at night. Carolyn consults with Dr. Andrea Bonior, a psychologist who provides insight into how and why stress can manifest in the body, as well as some techniques to help reduce it.

You can learn more about TMJ disorders here.

Dr. Antonia Teruel works at the Head Pain Institute where she regularly treats patients who are dealing with orofacial pain, neuropathic pain, sleep apnea, and more. Read more about her work here.

Dr. Andrea Bonior, a licensed psychologist, is on the faculty at Georgetown University and is the author of several books, including her most recent title, Detox Your Thoughts. You can follow her on Twitter here.

Don’t miss out on new episodes of Checking In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Apple Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-apple

Spotify: http://listen.self.com/self-spotify

Google Podcasts: http://listen.self.com/self-google

Don't forget to sign up for the Checking In newsletter here: https://www.self.com/newsletter/checking-in

If you have a health or wellness question of your own and want a chance to be featured on the podcast, you can submit it here.

Introducing Checking In Nov 09, 2020

Introducing Checking In, the advice podcast where we answer real health and wellness questions from real people like you. Hosted by SELF’s Editor in Chief, Carolyn Kylstra, and featuring trusted experts, doctors, therapists, thought leaders, and even a few celebrities, we’re diving deep into what it really means to be healthy. Checking In launches on Monday, November 16th, with new episodes releasing weekly. Subscribe to get episodes right when they drop at 6:00 am EST.

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