Show notes
You’re not antisocial — you’re someone who had to choose self-protection over belonging. This episode unpacks how complex trauma wires your nervous system to treat closeness like a threat and what it looks like to slowly become someone who can actually let people in.
Anna Runkelis a trauma educator, YouTuber, best known as the Crappy Childhood Fairy and author of the new book Connectability: Heal the Hidden Ways You Isolate, Find Your People, and Feel (At Last) Like You Belong. Once someone who couldn’t read social cues, trusted the wrong people, and assumed everyone would eventually turn on her, she’s now created a life where she trusts her instincts, chooses safe people, and actually enjoys being around others.
✨ What this episode explores:
▪️Covert Avoidance in Disguise — How trauma survivors “do the things” (parties, potlucks, group chats, even relationships) while secretly withdrawing, under-giving, or staying on their phones, and why it keeps them feeling unseen and emotionally isolated.
▪️Trauma-Built Beliefs About People — Why complex trauma wires you to assume others are selfish, unsafe, or about to discard you, and how those quiet assumptions silently shape your friendships, dating choices, and sense of belonging.
▪️Attunement After Neglect — How growing up around chaos, denial, or emotional neglect scrambles your ability to read red flags, and what it takes to rebuild intuition, social cues, and nervous system safety with people.
▪️Dating With Attachment Wounds — How CPTSD and anxious or avoidant attachment can make you rush intimacy, chase the wrong partners, or parent your person — and what changes when you slow down, watch for red flags, and let reciprocity lead.
▪️Releasing Mean & Chaotic People — How to recognize when your life is packed with bullies, addicts, and chronically troubled folks, why letting them go can feel unbearably lonely at first, and what opens up when you hold that boundary.
▪️Choosing Sovereignty Over Self-Blame — What it looks like to stop outsourcing your power to therapists, sponsors, or online “cults,” and how reclaiming personal responsibility helps you become someone who can build real, safe, mutual connection.
https://www.youtube.com/@CrappyChildhoodFairy
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