A Gay and A NonGay

Latest Episodes:

Regional Gays & Lavender Marriages Aug 20, 2025

Show notes

We're here for another Summer episode of A Gay And A NonGay. With James at Edinburgh Fringe, we're focusing on the really big questions in life...

So, after we debate killing a fly or not, James & Dan are talking about regional gays (who even are they?!), why lavender marriages are making a comeback and the bizarre rules around who gets financial support in relationships.

James questions why we don’t just marry our friends, while Dan admits he’d rather be “unstable” than marry a bloke for tax breaks.

Plus, the debate gets heated! Maybe attractive people do have it better after all...

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Wearing A Rucksack With Both Straps Aug 13, 2025

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We have our first guest-free episode of A Gay And A NonGay in ages! We're diving into everything from backpack etiquette to Oasis concerts.

We kick off with a burning question from their straightest friend: Why did we all believe that wearing a rucksack with both straps was gay? Queue a debate about bags, masculinity and school-era social dynamics.

Dan also shares his incredible experience at the Oasis reunion concert, leading to a discussion about whether massive concerts like these serve as "straight pride".

The episode explores themes of accountability, the complexity of community dynamic and the Coldplay concert incident that had everyone talking.

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Why History Is Much More Gay Than You Think with Harry Tanner Aug 06, 2025

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We're diving in deep with historian and author Harry Tanner on this week's episode of A Gay And A NonGay!

As a teenager, Harry was an evangelical Christian and came to believe homosexuality was a sin. Now, he lives a fulfilled gay life in London where he writes and teaches ancient languages and history.

In his new book - The Queer Thing About Sin - Harry explores how the West invented and weaponised homophobia — tracing its origins from ancient Greece and Rome through to today’s culture wars.

uncover stories of queer love in history, from porn pots in ancient Greece to heartfelt letters between men in 18th‑century Boston. They discuss why queer rights have risen and fallen throughout history and the deep ties between religion, politics and sexuality.

Plus, don't miss a surprising detour into ancient condoms!

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Everyone's A Little Self-Obsessed with Eurovision winner JJ Jul 30, 2025

Show notes

We’re joined by Eurovision royalty on this episode of A Gay And A NonGay — the winner of the 2025 Eurovision Song Contest, JJ!

Fresh from Vienna, JJ chats with James and Dan about everything from broken trophies and bubble wrap fails to navigating unrequited love in the queer community.

They open up about the struggles of dating when everyone seems a little self-obsessed, the importance of listening to your friends’ red-flag warnings and why being true to yourself is key in love and life.

Plus — JJ teases their brand new music following the smash hit Wasted Love, with 29 million plays and counting.

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Pride, Protest, and Politics with Eva Echo Jul 23, 2025

Show notes

We have a record-breaker on the podcast this week! It's Eva Echo's third appearance on A Gay And A NonGay, which puts her in a class of her own!

Eva is a trans activity, NHS campaigner and is the Director of Innovation at Birmingham Pride.

On this episode, James, Dan and Eva talk about pride as a protest amid rising transphobia in UK politics, the recent UK Supreme Court ruling on gender identity and the Download Festival toilet controversy.

Plus, the hosts explore the difficulty of self-recognition and appreciation for activists.

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Staying Sober In The LGBTQ+ Community with Frankie Grande Jul 16, 2025

Show notes

We have pop royalty on this episode of A Gay And A NonGay as James and Dan are joined by actor, singer and famous brother Frankie Grande!

Frankie's new album Hotel Rock Bottom is out now and covers everything from gay joy to his journey to sobriety.

In this conversation, James, Dan and Frankie talk about sobriety in the gay community, the evolving nature of Pride and queer representation and the significance of chosen family.

Frankie also shares amusing anecdotes from his life, including his thoughts on the viral 'Fire Island Chicken Tender' incident and his love for space dance rock pop music.

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Why Do So Many Men Have No Mates? with Max Dickins Jul 02, 2025

Show notes

On this episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James and Dan are joined by author, comedian and honorary sixth straight guest, Max Dickins!

Max opens up about the inspiration behind his brilliant book Billy No-Mates — a deep-dive into male friendship sparked by the realisation he had no one to ask to be his best man. Together, they unpack the complexities of male friendships, masculinity, vulnerability, and why so many straight men are stuck in a “friendship recession”.

The trio get hilariously real about everything from stag do admin to homophobic hang-ups around hugging, going for dinner (too gay?), and why Nando’s is apparently the safest middle ground.

Plus, James shares his theory around why platonic love after heartbreak might just be more romantic than romance itself.

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Fighting HIV Stigma with Richard Angell Jun 25, 2025

Show notes

We’re joined by Richard Angell, OBE and Chief Executive of the Terrence Higgins Trust, on this week's episode of A Gay And A NonGay!

The Terrence Higgins Trust is at the forefront of the fight against HIV, striving for a future where there are no new cases of HIV, where people living with HIV get the support they need and there is good sexual health for all.

Richard joins James and Danto talk about the ongoing fight against HIV and the stigma that still surrounds it.

From the legacy of Terrence Higgins, the first known person in the UK to die of AIDS, to the urgent need for better sex education for queer men. Richard shares powerful insights and reflects on the challenges posed by formal faith institutions and how we can push for a more inclusive future.

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Love Yourself Before You Love Another Jun 18, 2025

Show notes

If you can't love yourself, how can you love anybody else? On this episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James and Dan are diving into the importance of self-love this Pride season.

From exploring the transactional nature of relationships to discussing how to set expectations and the realities of compromise - we're coming to the realisation that love can look different, and being true to yourself through all of this self-discovery is of paramount importance.

Happy Pride and we'll see you next week for more profound thoughts?!

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What Is The Male Equivalent of Brunch? with Elf Lyons Jun 11, 2025

Show notes

We’re joined by the award winning Elf Lyons on this weeks episode of A Gay And A NonGay!

She has literally been listed as one of the 50 Funniest Comedians of the 21st Century by The Telegraph, one of the ’20 Names of Now’ by British Vogue and is a multi-Edinburgh Fringe award winner – so you know we’ve got a good one!

James, Dan and Elf talk about tackling trauma through comedy, embracing weirdness, flat earth theories, finding comfort in your identity and… what is the male equivalent of brunch?

All of these hard-hitting questions tackled without fear!

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