Challenge Can Teach You Everything
Feb 13, 2022
Show notes
Challenge can teach you everything you would ever want to know about yourself and becoming better.
Finishing a challenge isn’t how you get better, it’s the road there that makes you who you are.
Think about the hardest things you have ever done in life. When you finished, was it about the destination or about the climb that made you great?
For me, most of my accomplishments in life made me who I am by having to overcome the challenge and grow into that person.
In 1998 I set foot on the Yellow Foot Prints at MCRD (Marine Corps Recruit Depot) San Diego to become a United States Marine. The Yellow Foot Prints are the first place you stand when you get off the bus going into a three-month challenge that would make you part of an elite group.
The Marine Corps is the smallest branch of the U.S. military and has by far the longest and hardest initial training of any other force. In fact, all the other branches take Marine Boot camp as their basic training, but the Marine Corps won’t take anyone else’s.
All through Boot Camp, I was told to gain the coveted title of Marine. During Boot Camp, you are a Recruit. It isn’t until you finish Boot that you become a Marine. In fact, there is a private ceremony to give you the Eagle Globe and Anchor (EGA) to wear on your uniform signifying you are a Marine. Later you get a gradution ceromony. But no one cares. All of us just wanted that EGA that said we were a Marine and would be called that.
I was on a high for about 10 days (that is your leave after Boot Camp). Once I reported to the next step, MOS (Military Occupational Speciality) School no one cared that I was a basic Marine. In fact, everyone there was a Marine and had gone through the same thing. But it was on to the next step, School of Infantry for me. Now I had to become an Infantry Marine.
And so our journeys go. I was a much better version of myself after every evolution of my training as a Marine. And I become better after going to combat and then battling my PTSD demons. Now I’m a much better version of myself mentally.
But there is always the next challenge. If there isn’t one, you need to make one.
Right now I’m signed up for the L’Etape of San Antonio. It is a qualifying race for the Tour de France. No, I’m not really racing with those guys. There are fun rides normal people can sign up for. I signed up for the 25-mile race. Which is a lot for me. I’ve never finished 25 miles on a bike before signing up. Now I have. And it was painful but it makes me better.
Every training ride is harder than the last and makes me better physically and mentally.
I believe you are either growing as a person or regressing. Do you want to grow into a better person? Or regress to something you use to be? Or worse, become the worst version of yourself there has ever been. All three are possible. It’s your choice.
The growth is in the struggle to be ready for a challenge. Do you want to be the hero of your story and overcome the challenge or the victim that someone has to come and rescue?
You become a hero by moving towards challenges in life. Look at any movie. No hero wants to go on the journey but does for sometimes great reasons and sometimes dumb reasons. But they all reluctantly go at first, then go all in.
Most of the time they have had a life of struggle that prepares them for the journey.
If you are part of the modern world, struggles are getting less and less. Which is both good and bad.
But you can decide to take on a challenge and make yourself better. Then do another and another. Sometimes physical challenges are the best, and sometimes you might have to take a mental challenge. Sometimes they are great challenges like completing a physical race that is further than you have ever gone before and sometimes they are mental and as simple as taking a couple of minutes a day to read a book to improve yourself.
Find a challenge that looks almost impossible to complete. Sign up and go after it. It will make you a better person.
As you complete that challenge, find someone to help along the way become a better person. Then they can help someone else, and someone else, and pretty soon, everyone will be better. And if everyone in the world was a better person, the world would be a better place.
Make yourself better and make the world a better place. Find a challenge and complete it.
Is Fear a Legitimate Problem?
Feb 05, 2022
Show notes
Is fear a legitimate problem that keeps you from getting things done so that you can become the best you?
I don’t know about you, but for me, that answer is a legitimate yes right now. I feel like I have so many things going on that I’m afraid if I try to do even one more thing, I’ll fail. It’s overwhelming (you can read more about being overwhelmed here).
When it comes to a challenge, failure doesn’t feel like something you just try again. I know the world is full of people that failed but just simply tried again and completed whatever they were working on.
But can you do that when fear is a problem constantly in the way?
I want to start another 75 Hard Challenge and finish it. When I finish a challenge it always feels great. When I fail it feels horrible.
75 Hard will make you a better person. If you do as prescribed 75 Hard Program designed by Andy Frisella you will become mentally tougher than you have ever been before. But if you fail, you will feel like a failure more than ever before.
I completed my original challenge years ago and it gave me everything that was promised. I was tougher than I think I’ve ever been (mentally), I lost weight, and I got more physically in shape. It was great. But that feeling quickly dissipated as life got in the way of me being better.
Does life ever get in the way of you becoming a better person? Me Too!
The hard part is doing the little things, again and again, every day to be a better person.
Doing things that make you better is important but not urgent and gets buried by everything else you have to do every day.
Right now I’m looking at a way to overcome the fear of starting so that I can become better. And I haven’t found some profound thing that I can share with you… yet.
I know every slogan about overcoming fear out there right now… even Nike’s “Just Do It” isn’t very helpful.
What I’m learning, the hard way is to overcome the fear and get started again, I’m going to have to give something up. And I don’t know what to give up.
Should I give up sleep, time with family, time at work, or rest and recovery time?
The one thing I’d like to give up is rest and recovery time. I have never felt like that was productive. But when I try and give that up; I can’t get off the couch to do anything and feel lazy.
This fear problem is a vicious cycle that will take all your willpower to overcome. Right now I’m changing my schedule and doing my long bike rides (I’m training for the L’Estape bike race in San Antonio) and to hit my time goal, I need hours in on the bike. But after doing a long ride, I need lots of rest and recovery time. So that is going into the afternoon part of my day so that I can get this done now.
The only thing that I’ve learned about overcoming the fear (False Evidence Appearing Real) problem is to tinker with my life and add one little thing in. Then tinker with my life and add one more little thing in.
What are you doing to overcome the fear problem in your life?
How many times a year do you challenge yourself? And do you enjoy it?
I want to challenge myself a bunch, but it’s hard. Last year in July I went to Yosemite National Park in California. One of the most beautiful places in the world. And the further away from people you get, the more beautiful it gets. The park is in the High Sierra’s and the change of elevation is incredible.
It goes straight up and straight down to different places. We hiked and hiked, and hiked some more. I walked 6 miles the first day, 8 miles the second, and 4 miles the last day. That might not sound like a lot for you, but it was a lot for me. It was actually as much as I could do. It was a great test to see if I could actually finish. I did and it felt great.
This year, on New Year’s Day, I went for a 25 miles bike ride. It took me two hours and it is as far as I’ve ever ridden a bike. I enjoyed it when I was done. Not so much while doing it.
Most challenges are like that. But if you don’t challenge yourself how will you ever know if you can handle hard things.
It is not about doing physical accomplishments, it is about doing hard things so that you know you can do hard things. The military, law enforcement, the 75 Hard Challenge all use hard physical things so shape you mentally. Your mental toughness is the thing that will let you accomplish anything. The best way to build mental toughness is to do hard things. Doing hard (for you) physical things is something you can do almost every day.
If you want to be mentally tough so you can accomplish anything in life, do physically hard things. And increase that toughness every time by making it different or harder.
This year I signed up for a bike race. I am doing the 25-mile part for my first race ever. Next time I’ll do something harder. This one is a lot harder than anything I’ve done lately. The last 25 miles I road was from point A to B with it being mostly downhill. This race is a loop with as much elevation gain as possible in the San Antonio area (yes, Texas is really flat).
What physical hard thing could you do today in order to improve your mental toughness to become a better person and make the world a better place?
Are you overwhelmed? Me too! Can you believe that most people feel just like you?
About a third of Americans report feeling overwhelmed in their everyday lives (American Psychological Association reports) and United Press International reports two-thirds of Americans feel overwhelmed by the issues facing the nation. If you are in another country, I’m sure the numbers are about the same. We live in interesting times.
I have no idea what to do about the overwhelm of nations. But I know problem-solving starts at the bottom. It starts with you. If you can solve your own overwhelming situation, then you can look at the nation and the world.
This blog is about my struggle with these things because I am not an expert. Hell, if you ask me, I’m not even good at it. Ask my wife, she’ll tell you. But I thought I’d share what I’ve been learning so you can skip ahead of me and go further faster by not repeating my mistakes.
Mistake #1; my to-do list sucks! I have always been working on a to-do list and have never been able to get it done. I know there will always be more that I want to get done in life than I ever will get done. But I’d like to make a dent in it.
My solution in progress; prioritize and execute. This comes from Jocko Willink at Echelon Front. I don’t spend enough time looking at my list to put the important things on top. At work, I don’t shut my door enough to shut out everything else and focus on my list. If you never work on your list, it never gets done.
Mistake #2; I procrastinate… a lot. At work, I will do some easy task that isn’t really important. But at home, it is worse. I plop in front of the TV and watch something worthless while playing games on my iPad or looking at social media. I’m always telling myself I have plenty of time and I’ll get to that blog and podcast and all the other things I want to do in my private life later… and then later it’s too late.
My solution in progress; What is the most productive thing I can be going right now? This comes from Tom Hopkins’s book The Official Guide to Success. I’ve been asking this more and more of myself lately when I get home and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes the most productive thing is nothing when I’m stressed and pissed from work. And me being stressed and pissed from work seems stupid. I’ve had a great life lately and have a great job. And my new profession doesn’t have lives hanging on the balance of my performance, unlike my past careers. So I feel even worse because of this “first world problem.”
I have to stop and take stock of what I have in life right now. If you really look at how bad it could be, if you are reading this, you probably have a really good life. Remind yourself of the little things and try to push forward. It has been working for me more. I’m warm, fed, dry, and no one is actively trying to kill me. I’m not worried about where my next meal is coming from. I have it pretty good. How about you?
Mistake #3; getting sucked into everyone else’s jobs. At work and at home, I get really upset when something else isn’t getting done. I either sit and fret over it or take it on to get it done myself. Both don’t work.
My solution in progress; I’m learning to let go. It’s taking a long time to learn. Maybe in another 10 years, I’ll have it… hopefully. The true answer is to focus on what only I can do at home and work. Focussing on only what you can do is the problem with most managers and supervisors. There are things that only you can or will do at work and home. You need to do those first. Then you can look at the rest of the things that can or should be done.
Those are the top three mistakes that I make and it makes me overwhelmed in life. What are the things you know are a mistake that overwhelms you? Share in the comments with everyone so we can all learn to move forward faster.
New Years’ Resolutions are Crap
Jan 01, 2022
Show notes
New Years’ Resolutions are crap, you have to do the work every day.
Every year I make a resolution to get more in shape, do better with my money, and make something bigger in my business. Every year it is the same.
The only year my life started to measurably improve was the year I started doing 75 Hard. I did the 75 days towards the end of the year. The program wasn’t invented when I set my same old New Years’ resolutions. And until 75 Hard, I had the same results… none.
Why did it change? It was and wasn’t the program. I sat down and I did things every day that improved my health. So my health got better.
Life really is that easy. You just have to do it consistently.
If you are like me, consistency is the problem. I’m good for a while and then I let it go. Just one donut. Just one missed workout. One miss turns into two, three, four, and a month’s worth of crap down my throat and one or two workouts during the month. It is why we fail.
You know what to do every day. The trick is doing it.
75 Hard lets you make it a challenge, a game, and a life change. By picking 5 habits you will do every day to improve yourself, you will get better. If you miss a day, it won’t work.
Life isn’t quite that way, but the trick is to do those things that make you better 99 out of 100 days. And when you miss that one day, to get back on track for the next 100 days.
If you can consistently do habits to make you better for 99 out of 100 days for the next year, you will be better. There are thousands of books about what habits you should do, but here are my favorite two.
The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod is about starting the day off right to win every day of life. You should read the book to get motivated, but here are the six things (they will sound familiar) that you should do every morning to start a great day: S.A.V.E.R.S is the acronym,
S – Silence; take a moment and meditate, prey, or just be silent to focus your mind and body.
A – Affirmations; tell yourself what you want to become every day. I am _______.
V – Visualization; See yourself doing what needs to be done today and in your life. See yourself becoming what you want to be.
E – Exercise; Every day, get after it with some kind of workout. Start where you are and get better.
R – Read; Every day read part of a non-fiction book to make yourself smarter
S – Scribe; Journal your thoughts, hopes, and dreams, and write down what you want to accomplish
Hal says, get up early and get after these things before you start the day. I am the most successful when I got up early and did things to better myself before I go to work or play. Life gets in the way if you don’t take care of yourself first.
Form good daily habits and follow these good habits each and every day.
Set goals for each day, for each month, for each year and for the long-term. Focus on goals each and every day.
Engage in self-improvement each and every day.
Devote part of each and every day in caring for your health.
Devote part of each and every day to forming lifelong relationships.
Live each and every day in a state of moderation.
Accomplish your daily tasks each and every day; have a “do it now” mindset.
Engage in rich thinking each and every day.
Save 10% of your gross income every paycheck.
Control your thoughts and emotions each and every day.
If you did the above 10 things every day how much further in life would you be? Get after it.
If these look too overwhelming, start with just five. Pick five things you want to do every day that will improve your life. Then do them for 75 days and see if you are better or worst. Just a small warning, if you go after the 75-day challenge and fail, you will feel horrible about yourself.
What is the best schedule for a day? How can you build that best schedule?
I’m sure you have been working on the best schedule for a day for years now. I’ve been trying to figure it out for a long time.
I’m not sure there is a best schedule for a day because no plan survives first contact with the enemy. But you know what does survive contact with the enemy? SOP’s (Standard Operating Procedures) and Immediate Action Drills both survive contact with the enemy.
In the Marine Corps, an SOP is how we do something: how we move, how we communicate, how we shoot, and how we do almost everything. Our Immediate Action Drills (IA Drills) are an SOP we execute if a certain thing happens. The one most people military members remember for the rest of their lives is an ambush. If you are caught in an ambush, take cover and return fire. There is no thinking or changing that programming.
So if some plans actually survive the first contact with an enemy, can’t we use that in our daily lives to beat our schedules?
For me, I noticed this when I started going to the gym in the morning before work. I just made it a habit and it worked great. Years ago my habit was to go straight from work to the gym. Doing either of these ensured that I got my workout in.
So why can’t we put the most important things we need to do every day in our lives on autopilot so that they always get done?
In the book Atomic Habits James Clear talks about having a trigger for doing something. Why can’t we just use our habits every day to stack on each other and make each thing that happens our trigger for doing something else. It becomes our SOP to do this than that.
My SOP for the gym is to get up at 5 AM and then be out the door by 5:15 to make it to the gym by 5:30. I also use another trigger at night before I go to bed, and set up my workout bag and gear for the next day. So I can get up, get dressed, have a drink of water, and head out the door for the gym.
Once at the gym I have a schedule of workout things I’m working on. The day of the week becomes my trigger and I just keep working on it.
Can you set yourself up for success by stacking habits to create the best schedule for a day?
Winning Life: Be 1% Better
Dec 11, 2021
Show notes
Winning in life means being 1% better every day and being 1% better than the competition.
I’m reading The Psychology of Selling by Brian Tracy to learn how to be a better salesman (my day job is selling car wash equipment for AutoBrite Company in San Antonio, Texas). The beginning of the book is about motivation. And I don’t know about you, but I could use a little more motivation in my life. So I’m actually reading this book for a second time and enjoying it more this round.
In the book, Brian talks about being just a little better than the other people. And doing just a little bit more every day. He talks about the winning horse at a horse race. The winning horse wins prize money about three times higher than the second-place horse. The first-place horse is not three times faster, didn’t work three times harder, or is three times better than the second-place horse, he only has to be faster by a nose. Winning the race by a nose is the difference between $600,000 and $1.86 million in prize money. Not bad for a nose length.
You don’t have to “10 X” your life every day. Or be better than everyone else in your industry, office, or life by a lot every day. You just have to be better by a nose today than you were yesterday. And tomorrow. And the next day. And the next, and every day from now until you achieve your goals.
In high school or military terms, you just have to be able to beat up your yesterday self today. Can you beat your yesterday self up today? Can you do it tomorrow? And the next day? And every day until you achieve your goals.
Since you only have to beat yourself by a nose from yesterday, that means you only need to do a couple of things every day to be better the next day.
Doing little things every day for a lifetime is what winning life looks like and how you get there. 75 Hard Challenge will help you get there. By doing five things every day that will improve you, you will be able to beat your former self.
When you go for a workout it never feels like you are better than yesterday, but as long as you worked hard, you are.
Same thing with your job. Are you getting better at it every day? Or just being the same as you were yesterday?
With your family, are your relationships growing and getting stronger, or did you just let them stay where they were yesterday?
Everything in life is growing or shrinking. There is no standing still. Sometimes you grow or lose in big ways, but most of the time the change from day to day is imperceivable. You just have to know and believe it is there and keep doing the things that make you better.
Sometimes, like in most businesses, the growth is so slow that you might have to work at it for years and years before you can really see a difference, and then you become an overnight success in about ten years.
What are you doing today to be a better you tomorrow? How are you winning life?
Goal setting benefits are supposed to include making money, being in great shape, climbing the ladder of success, owning amazing cars, and just being the person everyone wants to be.
How many times have you heard that? Especially at this time of year. It’s between Thanksgiving and Christmas. According to a dozen other websites and self-help gurus, this is when you should be working on your goals list for next year.
So I started doing what I’m “supposed to do” and started going over goals. I found past notebooks where I’ve written goals, and my goals seem to be the same every year. What about you?
Have you had the same goal or two for the last couple of years? Have made that same New Year’s Resolution multiple times? Me too!
I wish I could tell you all the things goal setting benefits. Try to sell you on setting goals. And then sell you the greatest goal-setting course, book, or thing that will make you achieve your goals.
To tell you the truth, I’m still working out the benefits of goal setting and trying different systems to make those goals actually come true. Nothing is perfect. And nothing works everywhere… but here is what I’m working on.
I finished the book Measure What Matters by John Doerr (Amazon Referral link) at the beginning of the year and learned about OKRs (Objective, Key Results). OKRs is the famous goal-setting system used by Google and others to make billion-dollar businesses. It sounded great! And I thought, “when I have my own division or business, I’m definitely using it!”
My boss mentioned the concept last week at work and we both agreed to dig the book up and review it. So I did. Over the Thanksgiving weekend, I binged listened to the entire book again, and sat down to write some OKRs for myself and work.
I have most of my goals and am chunking them down into next year’s and quarterly goals. Here’s how I’m doing it:
I created top-line Objectives. Which are my BHAGs (Big Hairy Audacious Goals). From there, I broke down what it would be specifically to achieve that goal with two or three measurable points.
Zig Ziglar says if you can’t identify and see the target, you will never hit it. So with the top line Objective and the finer points of what it means to reach that point, you can see what you are going for and if you have hit your goal or not.
One of your goals might be like mine, Financially Independent. That’s pretty vague and could mean a lot of things. For me, my two things for that goal are 1. Investments make enough money to fund my lifestyle so I can quit working if I want. 2. Owning everything outright. No debt on any of my investments that are funding my lifestyle from number 1.
Since you are breathing (I assume), I’m pretty sure one of your goals has to do with finances. Money is only important when you don’t have any. And when you don’t have any it is right up there with air for your survival.
Now I’m breaking down the goal into Key Results. My lifetime key result becomes those two points from above. Now I have to break that down into what I can do next year, next quarter, and next month and make those key results by making them measurable.
My 2022 Key Results for being Financially Independent are to create and live on a budget, to pay off my credit card debt, and find three specific retirement funds that have been lost in time since moving jobs.
Now, according to the book, I would break that down into quarterly or even monthly small goals. Then, finally, check in weekly to make sure I’m on track or adjust the goal from there.
Not really anything groundbreaking except the thought that missing your goal by a little is okay. If you are hitting all your quarterly or annual goals you aren’t stretching and growing or creating hard enough goals. In fact, Google is okay with about 70% of the goal being reached in most cases.
Have you ever given yourself permission to only get part of the way there? Me neither. Everything in my life seems to be a binary yes or no. But if you are older than 10 you know there is a lot of gray in the world. And getting mostly to your goal, as long as you are improving your position and yourself is still a great accomplishment.
Getting better is what this website is about. If we could all just get a little better than yesterday or even last year, then the world would become a great place to live. And it starts with you making yourself better.
Living a life of intent means doing everything with intent.
When was the last time you did anything in your life with an intent? And what was that intent?
Most of the time when I’m doing something it is with the intent to get it finished. Nothing else. Yesterday I mowed the yard. My wife so beautifully pointed out a couple of spots I missed. And it pissed me off. Not because she said something. She just pointed out my shortcomings. Not with mal intent, but with a questioning intent.
Most of the time when I mow the yard it is with the intent to make it look good. So if I missed a spot I would go back and fix it. I make sure the lines are straight and even, and that I create a pattern with the lines that are pleasing. Yesterday it was just to get it done. I wasn’t working at it.
Today I was listening to The Real AF with Andy Frisella, the creator of the 75 Hard Program, and heard him talking about needing intent to really get anything done well. To the point, he dropped out of his last 75 Hard Challenge this year because he wasn’t able to be intentional with his workouts because of an injury. He felt that he wasn’t giving it his all and couldn’t because of the injury. So he is waiting to heal and then do it again.
I want to do things with intent so they actually make me better and make the world better. While listening to Andy in the episode I had an epiphany. I’ve accomplished a lot of things in my life. Most of them with the intent to just finish. And sometimes that’s noble and sometimes that means just doing things half-assed.
When I went through Marine Corps Boot Camp I just wanted to pass. Since about half the recruits I started with dropped out, just finishing is an accomplishment. But after that, I went through a police academy and my intent was to be one of the best. We started with 100 and ended with 33. I was the top shooter in the class, third academically, and fifth overall in the class. I think I could have done better but didn’t get my physical fitness in gear until the second half of the class. I placed closer to the middle in fitness and that dragged my overall standing down.
When I do things with the intent to be the best that I can be, I do much better.
Have you noticed the things you do better versus the ones that are half-assed? I bet you feel like I do, that you do as much work at the half-assed ones as the ones you try your best.
I went to the gym today after listening to the episode and had a much better workout. I actually went with the intent to get stronger and not to just get it done.
Tomorrow I will head to work with the intent to be better at my job than last week.
What about you? Are you doing things with the intent to be better than last time? Or to just get it done?
How could you do things with intent?
My simple way is to look at what I’m doing and try to accomplish whatever it is with an intent. If it is just a simple task of going to the store to get milk, how could I do it faster? Could I plan a better route to the store? Through the store faster? Or even find a better store?
Instead of just cutting the grass to get it done, next time, if I’m in a hurry, my intent will be to do it faster than last time. Or, if I have time, to make it look better than last time.
If we do everything with the intent to do it better (you define better) than last time, you will get better. If you get better, the people around you get better, and the world will be a better place if everyone is just better. Making the world better is my why behind doing this blog. I’d like to leave the world a little better than I found it. And the easiest way to do that is to make myself better and the people around me better.
How to set personal boundaries and monitor them to ensure you are true to yourself
Setting personal boundaries of what you will and will not do will help you get through tough times. This blog and 75 Hard is all about setting boundaries on what you will do, but how do you set boundaries on what you won’t do?
We all have lines that can’t be crossed and that we don’t want to cross. You have those things that you won’t do and those things that you won’t let happen.
After being a Marine for 10 years and fighting terrorists for half of that, I won’t let a terror attack happen in front of me without doing something, unless my family is there. If my family is there, they come first. I know it seems simple, but having those lines drawn well in advance of the situation allows you to act faster and in ways that align with your beliefs.
Terrorism is an extreme example in which you will probably never be in, but there are far smaller things that people say they will never do and then end up doing.
Cheating is the easiest example to draw on. Most of us say we will never cheat on our significant other or long-term relationship, but the numbers show that lots of people do. Are all these people liars or just don’t care about their relationships or did they get caught in a situation that they hadn’t planned on?
I want to believe that it’s the former because I want to believe that most people are good. So for you, how can you make sure you don’t end up as one of those persons? And not just in cheating but in other things where you want to draw a line?
Two thoughts and ways to make sure you don’t end up where you don’t want to be: Be above reproach, and plan to set your limit far before the boundary you are trying to hold.
Being above reproach means that no one can even accuse you of doing that thing because you are never in a situation where it could happen. Back to the cheating example, if you were never alone with someone else that could become a relationship, no one could ever even accuse you of doing any cheating.
My Pastor at Revolution Church of Schertz does this by not even being alone in an elevator with another woman that isn’t his wife. He won’t have a meeting with a woman without a trusted confidant there to make sure there is nothing going on that shouldn’t be.
By actively taking what seems like extreme measures it would be almost impossible for him to cheat on his wife. He makes it that way on purpose because he has decided in advance that he will not cheat.
Setting the boundaries far before the event requires planning. If you decide you aren’t going to drink, maybe you should plan to meet friends someplace besides the bar. Or, if you can handle it, plan to drink soda and make sure the bar you are going to has it before you go.
You have to set those lines back far enough so you are tempted. And that means knowing yourself and using it against you to help you.
I know that ice cream is my thing. I love it and will eat as much as I can get my hands on it. If I’m on my diet plan, ice cream is most definitely not on it. I will set myself up for success by knowing that if I go to the ice cream shop with friends and/or family, I will order something. So I simply will try and go someplace else with friends and family, or I won’t go. I’ll just stay at home.
These measures all seem extreme and easy. If you want to be successful at setting personal boundaries you have to move those lines back further than you think you should to ensure that you don’t stumble over the that line by accident or happenstance.
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