Do you have routines to get things done? Or do you make it up every day?
There is a story about Steve Jobs and his black turtle-neck sweaters. Not sure if it is true, but it makes a point. It was part of his routine. The story goes that black turtle necks are all he had in his closet. That way he never had to make a decision about what to wear and when. It was always the same. He used the routine to move faster, save time, and get more things done.
I do like having a uniform of sorts at work. I have one type of shirt, six of which I wear with jeans and the same boots daily. I am living groundhogs day that way. But I never have to think about it and it is just part of my morning routine.
Routines help me do everything better. It has an order to things so you don’t have to stop and think of what to do.
In the military, we have lots of routines. All of them are called different things. The most prevalent, life-saving routines in the infantry were called IAs, or Immediate Action Drills. It is what you did when there was an ambush, contact with the enemy, or took incoming fire. Those things that you should be doing without thought. The more things you did in the military the more IA drills you learned. And then you practiced them all the time.
I’m a civilian now and actually take pleasure in the fact that no one has tried to kill me in over a decade. It’s a more peaceful way to live.
But we can learn things from IA drills. IA drills were set up to have the most probability of success when things were really bad.
Why don’t you set up your life and execute and/or practice your own IA drill daily or more often?
I actually have one I’m doing very well, my morning routine. And in the morning it’s an IA drill because I roll out of bed, grab my clothes for a bike ride that I stagged the morning before, and head downstairs to the bathroom.
In the bathroom I do my thing, take a progress picture, weigh myself, change into my bike clothes, and head out.
I grab a glass of water, already staged, and a water bottle, already staged, and head to the garage to ride my Zwift trainer for 20 to 30 minutes.
After that, it’s back to the kitchen for another glass of water, to make coffee while I’m changing out of bike stuff and into shorts to read. I finish making the coffee and sit down to read my 10 pages.
When the 10 pages are done I look at what needs to be done for the day and head upstairs to take a shower and shave and get dressed for work. I give my wife a kiss as she is waking up to start her day and am out the door for work.
The days that I do my routine go way better than the days that I skip my morning routine.
And for any of you that think I can go to work any time I want so you couldn’t do something like this, I’m up at 5 am and at work by 8 am. If I can do it, so can you.
It is worth it.
Now I’m working on starting a morning routine at work and a nightly routine to wind down and get more done. It works in the morning, I don’t see why it can’t work everywhere.
What about you? Do you have a routine for things? Do you set up your routines as IA drills that you do without thinking?
Set a routine and follow it for 75 days. You’re life will improve.
In everything you do in life, if you do just one more you can be great. No one knows at what exact point the greats have gone from just good to amazing but there was a point, and all it took was one more time.
In selection for special forces, it’s going just one more leg of the race, one more day of selection, or just one more time doing the drill.
In Marine Corps Boot Camp it was just one more past your limit; One more push-up, one more pull-up, one more mile, or one more time around the drill field. One day during Boot Camp the Drill Instructor gave me the advice to not even make it one more day just make it one more meal. Since we were fed three times a day it was just make it a little further, or just one more.
When I got out of Boot Camp and to the Fleet Marine Force we measured days with one more, just two more days and a wake-up. It was a way for us to tell each other just one more.
Now in real life, it is just one more thing In my sales job, it is just one more call sales call In my marriage, it is just one more nice word to my wife With my kid, it is one more moment together.
A life of greatness can be built on just one more.
If you do one more of whatever it is you want to succeed, you will eventually become great.
No doubt, it takes time to do just one more. And it takes time and work to b e great at anything. But this one more all the time compounds and before you know it, you will be great.
Do one more act of kindness One more thing to get in shape One more thing at work Just one more to become great.
Leadership is something I’ve been taught since the beginning of everything… or so it seems.
As a Boy Scout when I was younger, leadership is one of their core principles. There I was taught the Scout Oath and Law. Both fail to mention being humble.
I grew from scouting to being a United States Marine. Leadership seemed to be the one constant from day one. I was taught leadership principles, traits, and core values. Of 5 traits, 14 principles, and 3 core values, not one mentioned humility.
After the Marine Corps, I wanted to be a cop. In my training, I didn’t find humility anywhere.
The first time I started learning humility was when I started studying Jui-Jitsu. Humility in Jui-Jitsu is more a form of survival than anything else. You think you are going to go into a fighting place and be the loudmouth, you are going to get humbled, fast. You get to learn the hard way.
Then as a Security Contractor, I started to learn a little more about humility. Trying to be “a quite professional” means you have to be humble.
Now from a Navy SEAL, Jocko Willink, I finally am getting training in humility. He has an easy saying, “Be humble, or get humbled.”
There are a lot of places you can get away with being egotistical. And many people can get away with it for a lot longer than anyone around them would like, but sooner or later, they will get humbled.
If you want to be the leader in your family, a leader at work, or a leader in life, you better learn to be humble.
As a Marine, I was pretty good at war fighting. I did not like the administrative or uniform stuff. In fact, I was outright defiant of it. I never found my humility as a leader. But the leaders I loved the most around and above me were the ones to come at me with humility. Since I was good at my job as an infantry Marine, I knew a lot about my weapon system, and tactics, and continually studied them. In fact, I read manuals and books so much I was given the call sign “Brain”.
The leaders that were humble would tell me about how good I was with my weapons and how they aren’t as good with them or knew anything about some of the technicalities of my job. But they asked me what I needed to be better at that job and used that to help me be better at the rest of the administrative and rear echelon stuff that I wasn’t good at and hated. I was never the uniform-wearing poster boy that you think of when you think of a Marine. I was the dirt on my face, rifle carrying warrior part.
As a civilian, I still shoot competitions and go to firearms classes and even teach self-defense with a firearm from time to time. While I’m always one of the best, there is always someone better and someone I can learn from.
In fact, as a Marine, we all take great pride in our skill with our rifles. And every time you are on the range there is always a top shooter. And I was always one of the best there as well. But, be humble or get humbled. Every time we went to the range I was never top shot… I was always second. It didn’t matter if we went with the platoon (30 Marines), my company (100 Marines), or even the battalion (almost 1,000 Marines) I was always second by a point out of 350. Very humbling.
This week, while you go about your life, try to practice humility. I know it isn’t something we do very well or practice, but if you can lose your ego humility is easy.
Those who are crazy enough to think they can change the world just might do it. Whether you think you can or think you can’t you are right.
Are you grateful for what you have?
Do you express gratitude for it?
How often do express gratitude to yourself? The people around you? The world?
If you are like most people in this crazy busy world, we don’t stop enough to express gratitude to the people and things around us. And the fact that we don’t do it just makes it harder. It is a habit that needs practice.
But if you are grateful for what you have life will become abundantly easier and better.
This is simple, but not easy.
Here is your challenge to make yourself a better person and the world a better place.
Every day for the next 75 days take to social media and express something you are grateful for.
I know it sounds too simple, but have you tried it? Do you express gratitude every day? Do you let the world know of your gratitude?
This challenge will make you better by stopping to think once a day about what you are grateful for and then expressing it to the world. We all know that social media should be called the social shit show. If it bleeds it leads has gone from the “old media” to the new media. And continues to get worse.
Here is your chance to influence that. Here is your chance to make social media a better place for everyone that sees your post. Yes, you will get more likes, shares, and interaction if you post that the world is ending over your bike ride was fun. That was my post yesterday. I crashed pretty hard about one minute into my ride. Got up and pushed on to ride 30 miles. And then posted I was grateful to be wearing my helmet because I bounced my head off the pavement and was able to continue on.
Don’t worry about measuring the likes on your post. Worry about helping the one person that will see your post. If you can change one person for the better, and they can change one person, and that person can change another person, we really can change the world. It all starts with you.
“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” – Lao Tzu
For some reason, I remember the end of the quote as your habits become who you are.
I sit right now trying to make my habits into who I want to become. But it seems like that daily grind of doing something everything every day is what is getting me.
I want to be a motivational writer and podcaster. And this blog is my attempt at doing that. I am working to make myself better, and helping those around me become better, so they can make the ones around them become better, and if everyone becomes a better person, the world would be a better place.
Lately, I’ve let everything get in the way of this simple goal. I haven’t been writing or podcasting. I haven’t been working on myself as much as I should. And I haven’t been growing. Everything has a season, but I think we shouldn’t let a season go by without improving ourselves.
I just let a season go by without improving me and it sucks. I feel horribly behind at everything. At work I haven’t been doing the simple things to keep going. I’m a salesman, and I haven’t been prospecting, which means I haven’t been bringing in new business. I’ve just been working the business I have and now I’m behind.
At home, I haven’t been working on being a better husband and father and I think it is affecting my relationships with my family.
Physically I’ve been missing workouts and eating poorly so I haven’t been losing weight or improving my physical prowess like I want to.
It all comes back to the simple habit of trying to improve yourself every day.
For me, that is reading at least 10 pages a day out of a self-help or business book, listening to a book, and listening to podcasts that help me be better. (Andy Frisella’s Feal AF, the guy that came up with the 75 Hard Program that motivated me to start this site is a good one to listen to).
Over the last week, I’ve started reading again and listening to more podcasts. I’m hoping to motivate myself into getting better a little at a time. As I get better at me, I’ll get better at doing the grind, which includes this blog.
If you are still reading this blog, thanks. I hope it is helping you become better.
How to change you and your focus in life is simple, just not easy. You just have to reprogram yourself. And it takes a long time.
I’m going through a tough time with my sisters and father. My mother passed away suddenly about two years ago and my father spent the time since her passing in the bottle.
He was an alcoholic growing up but gave it up about 15 years ago because a doctor told him it was killing him. So he quit. Simple, not easy.
But my father is a great man when it comes to stuff like that. He had smoked for 18 years and a doctor told him the more he smoked going into surgery, the less likely he was to wake up. So he quit.
He retired a couple of years before my mom passed so once she was gone, he had no reason to get up in the morning. It’s easier for me than for my sisters because once he started drinking I knew it wouldn’t be long and I excepted his passing and spiraling health.
It is also easier for me since I live in Texas and they are all in California.
My youngest sister just can’t let go of the worry and stress. And it is starting to affect her and her husband’s life very negatively. I told her to stop it and she said it’s just who she is.
She has told herself this for years and years. It’s just who she is. Our mom told herself the same thing for her entire life. So my sister just assumed it is genetic and she got it from mom. Whether it is genetic or not, I don’t know, but I know it can be changed.
My sister programmed herself her entire life to care for others first, then herself and her husband. I gave her some Zig Ziglar advice, look yourself in the mirror every morning and tell yourself that your husband and you come first above all else. Say “I will take care of myself and my husband first. Then I will take care of the rest of the family.”
You can reprogram yourself with anything the same way. Anything you want to change about yourself, you can change. Get up every morning, look yourself in the mirror, and tell yourself who you want to be.
For years I was a very negative person. I could see the bad in everything. It was just who I was. And I thought that was how it was going to be forever. In 2009 I decided to change that when I came back from Iraq for the last time.
It took me years and asking lots of people to help me, but now I’m a much more optimistic person. I still have self-help cards that I read and one of them says “I am a happy, grateful, and joyful person. I will spread that joy to those around me to make the world better. Being positive will help me do everything better.”
Every so often I slip and say something very negative. But I have people to remind me and this card to read. But now I’m seen by others as a positive and optimistic person.
What do you need to reprogram yourself to be? What do you want to reprogram yourself to be?
Books will change your life even in the most unusual way.
In 2002 I was part of an Anti-Terrorism unit on Camp Pendleton as a U.S. Marine. By then I’d figured out I liked reading and was into spy novels and saving the world adventure books.
When my unit was activated and placed on alert as part of an Anti-Terrorism unit after September 11th I started reading everything on weapons and tactics I could get my hands on. At the time Marines could do MCIs (Marine Corps Institute) as a way to earn credits and advance in rank. I’d already done all the ones I could by the time we settled into strip alert.
Once we started training more I had access to libraries of different units and areas. I got more books on combat, terrorism, and war. Most of the books were from the Vietnam era and World War II. Not much new had been written. So I actually ordered books on terrorism from outside the Marine Corps. And people, agencies, and other services sent them to me. And I read them all.
Consequently, I always had a book on hand and would read a lot in my downtime. One of my academically challenged leaders asked me why I always had a book. So I told the truth, I was trying to learn. He said what do you think you are ”some kind of brain?” as a snipe meant to tear me down in front of my Marines. It didn’t work. My Marines gave me my nickname and call sign right then and there, Brain. I’ve been that ever since.
Even in other units I went to and eventually as a contractor that continued to fight terrorism years later, my call sign went with me. It’s actually an honor to get a call sign assigned to you. And in conventional forces, not everyone gets one. In the contracting world, you get a call sign for some stupid thing you do. So I enjoyed walking in with one and not getting a horrible nickname.
But my love for books continued. I can’t tell you there is one book that changed my life, I just know that books over time make me more motivated, better mentally, and better physically. I still read, or actually, listen to, a lot of books now, anything that looks interesting that could improve me.
Books will change your life, but not in the way most people want them to. It takes a long time. And a lot of them.
I wish I could give you one book that would change your life and put you on the path to being the best person you could be. I can give you a couple about combat and leadership that changed the way I thought, but most of the books I read take years to work.
It could be me. You might be able to read a book once and change your entire world. I hope that works for you. My experience is it is painful, hard, and takes way more time than I want it to. I guess that is the painful lesson I’ve gotten from every book I’ve ever read, it takes time. It takes lots of time.
Yes I will give you a list of books that could change your life (in a minute). I want to let you know it is okay that it takes time. I want you to be patient. Life change takes a while. Keep working on it, you can do it.
Ben Branam
My Favorite “change-your-life” books:
The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker can teach you what fear actually is and how to use it. In today’s world, we don’t deal with real fear (something is going to kill you right now fear) as much as we use to. So w don’t understand it. Read the book and see how you can use it and why we have it.
Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink is one of the best leadership books ever. Whether you are leading a team, your family, or just yourself. If you put the concept of Extreme Ownership into your life it will help you be a better person. It’s a simple concept, but it sure as hell isn’t easy.
Profit First by Mike Michalowicz is the best book on business accounting for a business leader. It flips traditional accounting practices on their head to give you a way to think about accounting in a business fashion to help you make money and keep your expenses in check.
Take Charge of You by David Novak is what I’m currently reading and hoping it will change my life. I’m going through this one slowly and doing all the exercises and answering all the questions. I want to coach myself to make myself better and learn something along the way.
Go Your Own Way… When it comes to your goals
May 01, 2022
You have to go your own way when setting and accomplishing goals.
No one will set goals for you; this is your first thought, right? But lots of people will set lots of goals for you over your life. When you are a kid, your parents set lots of goals for you. Most of them you probably don’t even know about. Or at least didn’t know about it at the time. Bet you didn’t know that they just wanted you to walk on your own after carrying you around for the better part of a year.
As we get older more people set goals for us. You have goals at work that your boss expects you to achieve. You still have goals your parents expect you to rise to. And you have goals your spouse, your siblings, or your closest friends will try and set for you.
Sometimes we care about those goals, but most of the time I bet you are like me. I don’t really care what my parents’ goals are for me anymore. I’m a grown man. My spouse has all sorts of goals for me and half of them I don’t even know what they are. I don’t care about most of those goals. If you think that is mean, the problem is that I don’t really care about most of the goals I set for myself. But I’m working on it.
For me, working on goal setting means going my own way. All these people around me have goals for me. But I have to set my own, on my own, and do them on my own. Strategically looking for partners, not just using people around me.
I was trying to run a 5K with my wife. I’m horribly addicted to Monster Energy drinks (I like the blue lo-carb ones) and my wife hates that I drink them. I hate that my wife is a couch potato and doesn’t have any physical goals. One of my wife’s good friends wants to run a 5K without walking for her 50th birthday in June of this year. I thought it would be great if my wife and she did it together. They could push each other and make both of them accomplish something big. I roped my wife into it and said I would do it with her. I also said I will completely quit drinking Monsters if she finishes the 5K without walking.
My wife trained for two weeks a month ago and hasn’t hit the pavement since. I’ve been hitting the treadmill for the last month twice a week trying to get up to a running speed so I could keep up with them. I really have no desire to run a 5K and my friend invited me to do another bike race.
I loved doing the bike race last month! Now there is another one right here in San Antonio that is at the end of June. And I can go from doing 25 miles to doing 40 miles this time. A nice progression.
I tried having a heart-to-heart with my wife about the 5K goal and she really didn’t seem into it. So I went my own way. I signed up for the Tour De Boerne bike race on June 25. I’m going to do 40 miles and I’ve already started training. Today I rode 32 miles with a group. Next week I’ll try and ride a bunch.
I’m learning that despite what others do or don’t do, have goals, or don’t have goals, you have to find your own goal and go after it for your reasons. That way the monotony of every day doesn’t get in the way of you achieving your goal.
Your goals are something that you have to work on every day. So you better like working on your goal. If you don’t enjoy the process, if you don’t like the direction of your goal, you aren’t going to get it done. And if you do complete the goal it will be empty and have no meaning.
Go your own way. Pick your own goal. Then work on it every day, of every week, of every year until you achieve that goal. Once you hit that goal then go on to the next one.
The last thing I’m learning about goals is you can only work on as many as you can work on every day, of every week, of every year. If you don’t have time, energy, or enough drive to work on all your goals today, you need to put some of them on the back burner and do the ones you can work on every day.
Now get after your goals,
Ben Branam
What I’m using to work on my goals right now:
The Full Focus Planner by Michael Hyatt: I used this on and off and back onto it. It is a daily planner that puts your goals upfront. I think it needs a little more. Use it, but cut your goals down to a couple. There is room for like 20 upfront. Then add a section on the daily pages in the notes or other areas that says what you are going to do that day to work on each goal.
The Bucket List Journal: I’m just starting this one, but heard the writer, Ben Nemtin, on a podcast and was so inspired by how his life changed by working on his bucket list (I hear BIG GOALS) that I bought the book and the planner to work through it.
Getting Back on Target; How to Get Back After it
Apr 24, 2022
How do you get back to what you know you should be doing after a lapse in time?
Have you ever hit a goal and then just stopped doing things you know you should be doing? Or worse, in my case, have you given up lots of things you know you should be doing to hit a goal and now have to restart all those things that you shouldn’t have given up.
It’s like getting back on target after a hit or miss with a rifle, handgun, or even a mortar system. As a U.S. Marine, I was an 0341, infantry mortarman. I worked with the little tubes, the 60mm man-portable gun systems.
A mortar system is an amazing weapon that can fire an (in the case of the 60s) 3-pound exploding projectile out miles and hit within 25 yards of where it is intended. Which is plenty close enough with your projectile is basically 2 pounds of high explosive wrapped in a pre-cut metal tube. The weapon is devastating when used correctly.
But you have to use the system correctly to get consecutive, repeatable results. We fire a round to seat the base plate which is almost a throw-away round because it probably won’t be accurate or repeatable.
Seating a Base Plate
After that everything has to be repeatable to adjust from. Mortarmen do this by setting the weapon up to the exact same position after the round was fired as before. Then they wait.
When we did direct lay, meaning the gunner could see the target and was firing without outside direction at the target, once the round was fired and the gun is back up (or bubbled up as we would say) he would wait with his eye in the site, on the target waiting to see the round to hit.
The time of flight on a mortar round is between 15 and 45 seconds. So the gunner gets to wait a while. When firing live rounds even in training that seems like forever. And the rest of the team is prepping for the next shot or doing other things in combat waiting for that round to hit.
In the real world when we fire something out into the world it could take weeks, months, or even years to see where that round impacted. We still have to watch our target and wait.
What happens, if you are like me, you take your eye off the site (or our goal) and nothing happens. Then we stay out not looking for longer. And nothing happens. Then something happens and we miss where that round impacts and we try to adjust anyways, or just give up.
In the real world, everything has gone cold and we need to reseat our base plate to start again.
That is where I am with this blog. I started it to help people and then let distractions get in the way. Then I missed where my last couple of rounds hit entirely. I even ignored one I sent out in January even though people were pointing it out to me when I asked if anyone wanted to do a 75 Hard Challenge for the new year with me on the podcast associated with this website.
Now I’m throwing away time, effort, and rounds trying to reseat the base plate and get going again. It’s all because I let things get in the way of what I’m trying to do. I took my eye out of the site.
How often do you let things get in the way of what you are trying to do?
How often do you have to reseat your base plate to start again?
I don’t know a different way because just jumping in there and starting again. We are all looking for the easy button, but there really isn’t one.
When it comes to firing a mortar system, every time you pick up and move you have to start all over again, set up your system, reseat the base plate, and fire another round to adjust from. Not to mention the actual work of moving the system. Even the 60mm (by far the lightest weight at about 50 pounds for the gun and all the accompanying stuff plus ammo at 3 pounds per round) is a lot of work to move from one spot to another.
Maybe, if possible, you should dig in where you are, keep your eye on the site, and adjust instead of moving, resetting up, reseating your base plate, and starting your mission again.
GO! GO! GO! Everything Comes in Threes
Mar 09, 2022
The command to execute a breach, mission, or takedown of anything in the Military is always given in threes.
My Marines waiting on the execution plan in the trash pit
In 2003, Iraq, just outside of Baghdad I sat in a trash collection area with my mortar team waiting to rain fire on the enemy to support my fellow Marines breaching an intel compound and prison where political prisoners were hunted, jailed, and torched. Our intelligence was thin at best, so we had no idea what we would find. Which was just another day for us after spending the last 22 days pushing through Iraq from Kuwait.
I remember hearing the go signal to breach the wall of the compound and laughing when they used the wrong rocket launcher to make the hole. The line platoon (basic infantry) used an AT4 anti-tank weapon and blew a 1 foot perfectly round hole in the cinderblock wall. Marines in full battle rattle would not fit. So they backed up and hit it with the right weapon system and made a hole the size a truck could drive through.
Marines poured into the 1-mile square compound to clear it. It was a mess and took forever going from building to building looking for bad guys and intelligence to collect.
Marines of Golf 2/23 Clearing the Intel Compound
I sat in this trash collection area waiting on the go signal for my mortar section to either fire a mission or run to consolidate with our company. In combat, everything always seems like an eternity especially sitting in the open with multiple buildings looking down at us. At the time I wanted to be in any position other than where we sat.
But it was the only clearing we could work from inside the city. The mortar system has to be in the open for the rounds to clear the buildings. Cover isn’t really something a mortarman gets. So we waited.
We finally got the word over the radio to displace and consolidate on the second objective, a UN Compound another mile up from the Intel Compound.
“CSMO! CSMO! CSMO!” I shouted to my team and they shouted back ”Grab your shit and go!” It was an inside joke that we used for the last year of training knowing that this was going to have to be fast or suck a lot. My Marines packed up their mortar systems and rounds and were prepared to go in less than a minute. At the time we were the best in the business.
After packing up, we headed toward our company to link up. Our security is in our speed, so we ran the mile or two with full gear, packs, and weapon systems.
My combat loadout was about 80 pounds of ammo, grenades, and everything else a modern Marine carries to do battle. In my pack were 4 mortar rounds, food, clothing, water, more ammo, more grenades, and a bunch of other stuff totaling about 60 pounds. Every one of my 20 Marines had about the same load. And we ran for our lives.
Nothing like running over the bodies of dead Red Cresent workers to motivate you to run faster. We ran the couple miles. When one of my Marines faltered with some of the gear I picked that up. By the time I had to stop and shoot at a couple of guys that tried to run up behind us, I had two ammo cans full of mortar rounds. I had to drop those and grab my rifle off the sling, shoulder it, fire a couple of rounds to keep them back, and then push on.
We made it to the relative safety of our lines without much incident. We were spent but had to go again to set up our weapon systems. And then about half an hour later we were attacked by a squad and fought to a stalemate. Never a dull moment in Baghdad, Iraq 2003.
How do you prepare for something like that? How do you prepare for life? You know when things happen they happen in threes. I should have known we would be attacked after we reached ”safety” because things always happen together.
When you are training, working, preparing, or just living life, You have to be prepared for things to happen one after another. I know my story is in the extreme and I hope you don’t have challenges like that in your life. It sucks to have someone trying to take your life.
But right now you have things that are trying to do it slowly to you. The TV is probably trying to kill you over the next 20 to 40 years. The internet is trying to do it a little faster with all the crap. Like most tools, the internet can be used for bad or good. Make sure it isn’t killing you.
Take on challenges one right after another. Make them hard for you. And just keep going. It is how life is. It’s how to move forward. It is how to win.
If you get used to doing challenges one right after another you will be able to handle life when it throws things at you one right after another.
If you do hard things now, back to back, and harder and harder, by the time life throws crap your way, it will be easier for you.
Running through the streets of Baghdad with my own bodyweight of gear was something we had prepared for a little at a time, with challenge after challenge, each harder than the last. We made everything a challenge.
What are you doing to challenge yourself now so when times get hard you can handle things back to back?
I’m doing a bike race next month and then going to run a 5k with my wife and her friend the next month. That may not sound tough for you, but it’s been almost 15 years since I’ve run more than around the block. I’ll have to work on it to survive the 5K. It’s going to suck a lot. But I’m going to get the challenge done.
I’ll ask you again, what are you doing to prepare yourself for life? What hard thing are you doing now to make the impossible easier? It may not be someone actively trying to kill you, but cancer may try just as hard to kill you as Saddam’s soldiers had tried to kill me in Iraq.
Challenge can teach you everything you would ever want to know about yourself and becoming better.
Finishing a challenge isn’t how you get better, it’s the road there that makes you who you are.
Think about the hardest things you have ever done in life. When you finished, was it about the destination or about the climb that made you great?
For me, most of my accomplishments in life made me who I am by having to overcome the challenge and grow into that person.
In 1998 I set foot on the Yellow Foot Prints at MCRD (Marine Corps Recruit Depot) San Diego to become a United States Marine. The Yellow Foot Prints are the first place you stand when you get off the bus going into a three-month challenge that would make you part of an elite group.
The Marine Corps is the smallest branch of the U.S. military and has by far the longest and hardest initial training of any other force. In fact, all the other branches take Marine Boot camp as their basic training, but the Marine Corps won’t take anyone else’s.
All through Boot Camp, I was told to gain the coveted title of Marine. During Boot Camp, you are a Recruit. It isn’t until you finish Boot that you become a Marine. In fact, there is a private ceremony to give you the Eagle Globe and Anchor (EGA) to wear on your uniform signifying you are a Marine. Later you get a gradution ceromony. But no one cares. All of us just wanted that EGA that said we were a Marine and would be called that.
I was on a high for about 10 days (that is your leave after Boot Camp). Once I reported to the next step, MOS (Military Occupational Speciality) School no one cared that I was a basic Marine. In fact, everyone there was a Marine and had gone through the same thing. But it was on to the next step, School of Infantry for me. Now I had to become an Infantry Marine.
And so our journeys go. I was a much better version of myself after every evolution of my training as a Marine. And I become better after going to combat and then battling my PTSD demons. Now I’m a much better version of myself mentally.
But there is always the next challenge. If there isn’t one, you need to make one.
Right now I’m signed up for the L’Etape of San Antonio. It is a qualifying race for the Tour de France. No, I’m not really racing with those guys. There are fun rides normal people can sign up for. I signed up for the 25-mile race. Which is a lot for me. I’ve never finished 25 miles on a bike before signing up. Now I have. And it was painful but it makes me better.
Every training ride is harder than the last and makes me better physically and mentally.
I believe you are either growing as a person or regressing. Do you want to grow into a better person? Or regress to something you use to be? Or worse, become the worst version of yourself there has ever been. All three are possible. It’s your choice.
The growth is in the struggle to be ready for a challenge. Do you want to be the hero of your story and overcome the challenge or the victim that someone has to come and rescue?
You become a hero by moving towards challenges in life. Look at any movie. No hero wants to go on the journey but does for sometimes great reasons and sometimes dumb reasons. But they all reluctantly go at first, then go all in.
Most of the time they have had a life of struggle that prepares them for the journey.
If you are part of the modern world, struggles are getting less and less. Which is both good and bad.
But you can decide to take on a challenge and make yourself better. Then do another and another. Sometimes physical challenges are the best, and sometimes you might have to take a mental challenge. Sometimes they are great challenges like completing a physical race that is further than you have ever gone before and sometimes they are mental and as simple as taking a couple of minutes a day to read a book to improve yourself.
Find a challenge that looks almost impossible to complete. Sign up and go after it. It will make you a better person.
As you complete that challenge, find someone to help along the way become a better person. Then they can help someone else, and someone else, and pretty soon, everyone will be better. And if everyone in the world was a better person, the world would be a better place.
Make yourself better and make the world a better place. Find a challenge and complete it.
Is fear a legitimate problem that keeps you from getting things done so that you can become the best you?
I don’t know about you, but for me, that answer is a legitimate yes right now. I feel like I have so many things going on that I’m afraid if I try to do even one more thing, I’ll fail. It’s overwhelming (you can read more about being overwhelmed here).
When it comes to a challenge, failure doesn’t feel like something you just try again. I know the world is full of people that failed but just simply tried again and completed whatever they were working on.
But can you do that when fear is a problem constantly in the way?
I want to start another 75 Hard Challenge and finish it. When I finish a challenge it always feels great. When I fail it feels horrible.
75 Hard will make you a better person. If you do as prescribed 75 Hard Program designed by Andy Frisella you will become mentally tougher than you have ever been before. But if you fail, you will feel like a failure more than ever before.
I completed my original challenge years ago and it gave me everything that was promised. I was tougher than I think I’ve ever been (mentally), I lost weight, and I got more physically in shape. It was great. But that feeling quickly dissipated as life got in the way of me being better.
Does life ever get in the way of you becoming a better person? Me Too!
The hard part is doing the little things, again and again, every day to be a better person.
Doing things that make you better is important but not urgent and gets buried by everything else you have to do every day.
Right now I’m looking at a way to overcome the fear of starting so that I can become better. And I haven’t found some profound thing that I can share with you… yet.
I know every slogan about overcoming fear out there right now… even Nike’s “Just Do It” isn’t very helpful.
What I’m learning, the hard way is to overcome the fear and get started again, I’m going to have to give something up. And I don’t know what to give up.
Should I give up sleep, time with family, time at work, or rest and recovery time?
The one thing I’d like to give up is rest and recovery time. I have never felt like that was productive. But when I try and give that up; I can’t get off the couch to do anything and feel lazy.
This fear problem is a vicious cycle that will take all your willpower to overcome. Right now I’m changing my schedule and doing my long bike rides (I’m training for the L’Estape bike race in San Antonio) and to hit my time goal, I need hours in on the bike. But after doing a long ride, I need lots of rest and recovery time. So that is going into the afternoon part of my day so that I can get this done now.
The only thing that I’ve learned about overcoming the fear (False Evidence Appearing Real) problem is to tinker with my life and add one little thing in. Then tinker with my life and add one more little thing in.
What are you doing to overcome the fear problem in your life?
How many times a year do you challenge yourself? And do you enjoy it?
I want to challenge myself a bunch, but it’s hard. Last year in July I went to Yosemite National Park in California. One of the most beautiful places in the world. And the further away from people you get, the more beautiful it gets. The park is in the High Sierra’s and the change of elevation is incredible.
It goes straight up and straight down to different places. We hiked and hiked, and hiked some more. I walked 6 miles the first day, 8 miles the second, and 4 miles the last day. That might not sound like a lot for you, but it was a lot for me. It was actually as much as I could do. It was a great test to see if I could actually finish. I did and it felt great.
This year, on New Year’s Day, I went for a 25 miles bike ride. It took me two hours and it is as far as I’ve ever ridden a bike. I enjoyed it when I was done. Not so much while doing it.
Most challenges are like that. But if you don’t challenge yourself how will you ever know if you can handle hard things.
It is not about doing physical accomplishments, it is about doing hard things so that you know you can do hard things. The military, law enforcement, the 75 Hard Challenge all use hard physical things so shape you mentally. Your mental toughness is the thing that will let you accomplish anything. The best way to build mental toughness is to do hard things. Doing hard (for you) physical things is something you can do almost every day.
If you want to be mentally tough so you can accomplish anything in life, do physically hard things. And increase that toughness every time by making it different or harder.
This year I signed up for a bike race. I am doing the 25-mile part for my first race ever. Next time I’ll do something harder. This one is a lot harder than anything I’ve done lately. The last 25 miles I road was from point A to B with it being mostly downhill. This race is a loop with as much elevation gain as possible in the San Antonio area (yes, Texas is really flat).
What physical hard thing could you do today in order to improve your mental toughness to become a better person and make the world a better place?
Are you overwhelmed? Me too! Can you believe that most people feel just like you?
About a third of Americans report feeling overwhelmed in their everyday lives (American Psychological Association reports) and United Press International reports two-thirds of Americans feel overwhelmed by the issues facing the nation. If you are in another country, I’m sure the numbers are about the same. We live in interesting times.
I have no idea what to do about the overwhelm of nations. But I know problem-solving starts at the bottom. It starts with you. If you can solve your own overwhelming situation, then you can look at the nation and the world.
This blog is about my struggle with these things because I am not an expert. Hell, if you ask me, I’m not even good at it. Ask my wife, she’ll tell you. But I thought I’d share what I’ve been learning so you can skip ahead of me and go further faster by not repeating my mistakes.
Mistake #1; my to-do list sucks! I have always been working on a to-do list and have never been able to get it done. I know there will always be more that I want to get done in life than I ever will get done. But I’d like to make a dent in it.
My solution in progress; prioritize and execute. This comes from Jocko Willink at Echelon Front. I don’t spend enough time looking at my list to put the important things on top. At work, I don’t shut my door enough to shut out everything else and focus on my list. If you never work on your list, it never gets done.
Mistake #2; I procrastinate… a lot. At work, I will do some easy task that isn’t really important. But at home, it is worse. I plop in front of the TV and watch something worthless while playing games on my iPad or looking at social media. I’m always telling myself I have plenty of time and I’ll get to that blog and podcast and all the other things I want to do in my private life later… and then later it’s too late.
My solution in progress; What is the most productive thing I can be going right now? This comes from Tom Hopkins’s book The Official Guide to Success. I’ve been asking this more and more of myself lately when I get home and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes the most productive thing is nothing when I’m stressed and pissed from work. And me being stressed and pissed from work seems stupid. I’ve had a great life lately and have a great job. And my new profession doesn’t have lives hanging on the balance of my performance, unlike my past careers. So I feel even worse because of this “first world problem.”
I have to stop and take stock of what I have in life right now. If you really look at how bad it could be, if you are reading this, you probably have a really good life. Remind yourself of the little things and try to push forward. It has been working for me more. I’m warm, fed, dry, and no one is actively trying to kill me. I’m not worried about where my next meal is coming from. I have it pretty good. How about you?
Mistake #3; getting sucked into everyone else’s jobs. At work and at home, I get really upset when something else isn’t getting done. I either sit and fret over it or take it on to get it done myself. Both don’t work.
My solution in progress; I’m learning to let go. It’s taking a long time to learn. Maybe in another 10 years, I’ll have it… hopefully. The true answer is to focus on what only I can do at home and work. Focussing on only what you can do is the problem with most managers and supervisors. There are things that only you can or will do at work and home. You need to do those first. Then you can look at the rest of the things that can or should be done.
Those are the top three mistakes that I make and it makes me overwhelmed in life. What are the things you know are a mistake that overwhelms you? Share in the comments with everyone so we can all learn to move forward faster.
New Years’ Resolutions are crap, you have to do the work every day.
Every year I make a resolution to get more in shape, do better with my money, and make something bigger in my business. Every year it is the same.
The only year my life started to measurably improve was the year I started doing 75 Hard. I did the 75 days towards the end of the year. The program wasn’t invented when I set my same old New Years’ resolutions. And until 75 Hard, I had the same results… none.
Why did it change? It was and wasn’t the program. I sat down and I did things every day that improved my health. So my health got better.
Life really is that easy. You just have to do it consistently.
If you are like me, consistency is the problem. I’m good for a while and then I let it go. Just one donut. Just one missed workout. One miss turns into two, three, four, and a month’s worth of crap down my throat and one or two workouts during the month. It is why we fail.
You know what to do every day. The trick is doing it.
75 Hard lets you make it a challenge, a game, and a life change. By picking 5 habits you will do every day to improve yourself, you will get better. If you miss a day, it won’t work.
Life isn’t quite that way, but the trick is to do those things that make you better 99 out of 100 days. And when you miss that one day, to get back on track for the next 100 days.
If you can consistently do habits to make you better for 99 out of 100 days for the next year, you will be better. There are thousands of books about what habits you should do, but here are my favorite two.
The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod is about starting the day off right to win every day of life. You should read the book to get motivated, but here are the six things (they will sound familiar) that you should do every morning to start a great day: S.A.V.E.R.S is the acronym,
S – Silence; take a moment and meditate, prey, or just be silent to focus your mind and body.
A – Affirmations; tell yourself what you want to become every day. I am _______.
V – Visualization; See yourself doing what needs to be done today and in your life. See yourself becoming what you want to be.
E – Exercise; Every day, get after it with some kind of workout. Start where you are and get better.
R – Read; Every day read part of a non-fiction book to make yourself smarter
S – Scribe; Journal your thoughts, hopes, and dreams, and write down what you want to accomplish
Hal says, get up early and get after these things before you start the day. I am the most successful when I got up early and did things to better myself before I go to work or play. Life gets in the way if you don’t take care of yourself first.
Form good daily habits and follow these good habits each and every day.
Set goals for each day, for each month, for each year and for the long-term. Focus on goals each and every day.
Engage in self-improvement each and every day.
Devote part of each and every day in caring for your health.
Devote part of each and every day to forming lifelong relationships.
Live each and every day in a state of moderation.
Accomplish your daily tasks each and every day; have a “do it now” mindset.
Engage in rich thinking each and every day.
Save 10% of your gross income every paycheck.
Control your thoughts and emotions each and every day.
If you did the above 10 things every day how much further in life would you be? Get after it.
If these look too overwhelming, start with just five. Pick five things you want to do every day that will improve your life. Then do them for 75 days and see if you are better or worst. Just a small warning, if you go after the 75-day challenge and fail, you will feel horrible about yourself.
What is the best schedule for a day? How can you build that best schedule?
I’m sure you have been working on the best schedule for a day for years now. I’ve been trying to figure it out for a long time.
I’m not sure there is a best schedule for a day because no plan survives first contact with the enemy. But you know what does survive contact with the enemy? SOP’s (Standard Operating Procedures) and Immediate Action Drills both survive contact with the enemy.
In the Marine Corps, an SOP is how we do something: how we move, how we communicate, how we shoot, and how we do almost everything. Our Immediate Action Drills (IA Drills) are an SOP we execute if a certain thing happens. The one most people military members remember for the rest of their lives is an ambush. If you are caught in an ambush, take cover and return fire. There is no thinking or changing that programming.
So if some plans actually survive the first contact with an enemy, can’t we use that in our daily lives to beat our schedules?
For me, I noticed this when I started going to the gym in the morning before work. I just made it a habit and it worked great. Years ago my habit was to go straight from work to the gym. Doing either of these ensured that I got my workout in.
So why can’t we put the most important things we need to do every day in our lives on autopilot so that they always get done?
In the book Atomic Habits James Clear talks about having a trigger for doing something. Why can’t we just use our habits every day to stack on each other and make each thing that happens our trigger for doing something else. It becomes our SOP to do this than that.
My SOP for the gym is to get up at 5 AM and then be out the door by 5:15 to make it to the gym by 5:30. I also use another trigger at night before I go to bed, and set up my workout bag and gear for the next day. So I can get up, get dressed, have a drink of water, and head out the door for the gym.
Once at the gym I have a schedule of workout things I’m working on. The day of the week becomes my trigger and I just keep working on it.
Can you set yourself up for success by stacking habits to create the best schedule for a day?
Winning in life means being 1% better every day and being 1% better than the competition.
I’m reading The Psychology of Selling by Brian Tracy to learn how to be a better salesman (my day job is selling car wash equipment for AutoBrite Company in San Antonio, Texas). The beginning of the book is about motivation. And I don’t know about you, but I could use a little more motivation in my life. So I’m actually reading this book for a second time and enjoying it more this round.
In the book, Brian talks about being just a little better than the other people. And doing just a little bit more every day. He talks about the winning horse at a horse race. The winning horse wins prize money about three times higher than the second-place horse. The first-place horse is not three times faster, didn’t work three times harder, or is three times better than the second-place horse, he only has to be faster by a nose. Winning the race by a nose is the difference between $600,000 and $1.86 million in prize money. Not bad for a nose length.
You don’t have to “10 X” your life every day. Or be better than everyone else in your industry, office, or life by a lot every day. You just have to be better by a nose today than you were yesterday. And tomorrow. And the next day. And the next, and every day from now until you achieve your goals.
In high school or military terms, you just have to be able to beat up your yesterday self today. Can you beat your yesterday self up today? Can you do it tomorrow? And the next day? And every day until you achieve your goals.
Since you only have to beat yourself by a nose from yesterday, that means you only need to do a couple of things every day to be better the next day.
Doing little things every day for a lifetime is what winning life looks like and how you get there. 75 Hard Challenge will help you get there. By doing five things every day that will improve you, you will be able to beat your former self.
When you go for a workout it never feels like you are better than yesterday, but as long as you worked hard, you are.
Same thing with your job. Are you getting better at it every day? Or just being the same as you were yesterday?
With your family, are your relationships growing and getting stronger, or did you just let them stay where they were yesterday?
Everything in life is growing or shrinking. There is no standing still. Sometimes you grow or lose in big ways, but most of the time the change from day to day is imperceivable. You just have to know and believe it is there and keep doing the things that make you better.
Sometimes, like in most businesses, the growth is so slow that you might have to work at it for years and years before you can really see a difference, and then you become an overnight success in about ten years.
What are you doing today to be a better you tomorrow? How are you winning life?
Goal setting benefits are supposed to include making money, being in great shape, climbing the ladder of success, owning amazing cars, and just being the person everyone wants to be.
How many times have you heard that? Especially at this time of year. It’s between Thanksgiving and Christmas. According to a dozen other websites and self-help gurus, this is when you should be working on your goals list for next year.
So I started doing what I’m “supposed to do” and started going over goals. I found past notebooks where I’ve written goals, and my goals seem to be the same every year. What about you?
Have you had the same goal or two for the last couple of years? Have made that same New Year’s Resolution multiple times? Me too!
I wish I could tell you all the things goal setting benefits. Try to sell you on setting goals. And then sell you the greatest goal-setting course, book, or thing that will make you achieve your goals.
To tell you the truth, I’m still working out the benefits of goal setting and trying different systems to make those goals actually come true. Nothing is perfect. And nothing works everywhere… but here is what I’m working on.
I finished the book Measure What Matters by John Doerr (Amazon Referral link) at the beginning of the year and learned about OKRs (Objective, Key Results). OKRs is the famous goal-setting system used by Google and others to make billion-dollar businesses. It sounded great! And I thought, “when I have my own division or business, I’m definitely using it!”
My boss mentioned the concept last week at work and we both agreed to dig the book up and review it. So I did. Over the Thanksgiving weekend, I binged listened to the entire book again, and sat down to write some OKRs for myself and work.
I have most of my goals and am chunking them down into next year’s and quarterly goals. Here’s how I’m doing it:
I created top-line Objectives. Which are my BHAGs (Big Hairy Audacious Goals). From there, I broke down what it would be specifically to achieve that goal with two or three measurable points.
Zig Ziglar says if you can’t identify and see the target, you will never hit it. So with the top line Objective and the finer points of what it means to reach that point, you can see what you are going for and if you have hit your goal or not.
One of your goals might be like mine, Financially Independent. That’s pretty vague and could mean a lot of things. For me, my two things for that goal are 1. Investments make enough money to fund my lifestyle so I can quit working if I want. 2. Owning everything outright. No debt on any of my investments that are funding my lifestyle from number 1.
Since you are breathing (I assume), I’m pretty sure one of your goals has to do with finances. Money is only important when you don’t have any. And when you don’t have any it is right up there with air for your survival.
Now I’m breaking down the goal into Key Results. My lifetime key result becomes those two points from above. Now I have to break that down into what I can do next year, next quarter, and next month and make those key results by making them measurable.
My 2022 Key Results for being Financially Independent are to create and live on a budget, to pay off my credit card debt, and find three specific retirement funds that have been lost in time since moving jobs.
Now, according to the book, I would break that down into quarterly or even monthly small goals. Then, finally, check in weekly to make sure I’m on track or adjust the goal from there.
Not really anything groundbreaking except the thought that missing your goal by a little is okay. If you are hitting all your quarterly or annual goals you aren’t stretching and growing or creating hard enough goals. In fact, Google is okay with about 70% of the goal being reached in most cases.
Have you ever given yourself permission to only get part of the way there? Me neither. Everything in my life seems to be a binary yes or no. But if you are older than 10 you know there is a lot of gray in the world. And getting mostly to your goal, as long as you are improving your position and yourself is still a great accomplishment.
Getting better is what this website is about. If we could all just get a little better than yesterday or even last year, then the world would become a great place to live. And it starts with you making yourself better.
Living a life of intent means doing everything with intent.
When was the last time you did anything in your life with an intent? And what was that intent?
Most of the time when I’m doing something it is with the intent to get it finished. Nothing else. Yesterday I mowed the yard. My wife so beautifully pointed out a couple of spots I missed. And it pissed me off. Not because she said something. She just pointed out my shortcomings. Not with mal intent, but with a questioning intent.
Most of the time when I mow the yard it is with the intent to make it look good. So if I missed a spot I would go back and fix it. I make sure the lines are straight and even, and that I create a pattern with the lines that are pleasing. Yesterday it was just to get it done. I wasn’t working at it.
Today I was listening to The Real AF with Andy Frisella, the creator of the 75 Hard Program, and heard him talking about needing intent to really get anything done well. To the point, he dropped out of his last 75 Hard Challenge this year because he wasn’t able to be intentional with his workouts because of an injury. He felt that he wasn’t giving it his all and couldn’t because of the injury. So he is waiting to heal and then do it again.
I want to do things with intent so they actually make me better and make the world better. While listening to Andy in the episode I had an epiphany. I’ve accomplished a lot of things in my life. Most of them with the intent to just finish. And sometimes that’s noble and sometimes that means just doing things half-assed.
When I went through Marine Corps Boot Camp I just wanted to pass. Since about half the recruits I started with dropped out, just finishing is an accomplishment. But after that, I went through a police academy and my intent was to be one of the best. We started with 100 and ended with 33. I was the top shooter in the class, third academically, and fifth overall in the class. I think I could have done better but didn’t get my physical fitness in gear until the second half of the class. I placed closer to the middle in fitness and that dragged my overall standing down.
When I do things with the intent to be the best that I can be, I do much better.
Have you noticed the things you do better versus the ones that are half-assed? I bet you feel like I do, that you do as much work at the half-assed ones as the ones you try your best.
I went to the gym today after listening to the episode and had a much better workout. I actually went with the intent to get stronger and not to just get it done.
Tomorrow I will head to work with the intent to be better at my job than last week.
What about you? Are you doing things with the intent to be better than last time? Or to just get it done?
How could you do things with intent?
My simple way is to look at what I’m doing and try to accomplish whatever it is with an intent. If it is just a simple task of going to the store to get milk, how could I do it faster? Could I plan a better route to the store? Through the store faster? Or even find a better store?
Instead of just cutting the grass to get it done, next time, if I’m in a hurry, my intent will be to do it faster than last time. Or, if I have time, to make it look better than last time.
If we do everything with the intent to do it better (you define better) than last time, you will get better. If you get better, the people around you get better, and the world will be a better place if everyone is just better. Making the world better is my why behind doing this blog. I’d like to leave the world a little better than I found it. And the easiest way to do that is to make myself better and the people around me better.
How to set personal boundaries and monitor them to ensure you are true to yourself
Setting personal boundaries of what you will and will not do will help you get through tough times. This blog and 75 Hard is all about setting boundaries on what you will do, but how do you set boundaries on what you won’t do?
We all have lines that can’t be crossed and that we don’t want to cross. You have those things that you won’t do and those things that you won’t let happen.
After being a Marine for 10 years and fighting terrorists for half of that, I won’t let a terror attack happen in front of me without doing something, unless my family is there. If my family is there, they come first. I know it seems simple, but having those lines drawn well in advance of the situation allows you to act faster and in ways that align with your beliefs.
Terrorism is an extreme example in which you will probably never be in, but there are far smaller things that people say they will never do and then end up doing.
Cheating is the easiest example to draw on. Most of us say we will never cheat on our significant other or long-term relationship, but the numbers show that lots of people do. Are all these people liars or just don’t care about their relationships or did they get caught in a situation that they hadn’t planned on?
I want to believe that it’s the former because I want to believe that most people are good. So for you, how can you make sure you don’t end up as one of those persons? And not just in cheating but in other things where you want to draw a line?
Two thoughts and ways to make sure you don’t end up where you don’t want to be: Be above reproach, and plan to set your limit far before the boundary you are trying to hold.
Being above reproach means that no one can even accuse you of doing that thing because you are never in a situation where it could happen. Back to the cheating example, if you were never alone with someone else that could become a relationship, no one could ever even accuse you of doing any cheating.
My Pastor at Revolution Church of Schertz does this by not even being alone in an elevator with another woman that isn’t his wife. He won’t have a meeting with a woman without a trusted confidant there to make sure there is nothing going on that shouldn’t be.
By actively taking what seems like extreme measures it would be almost impossible for him to cheat on his wife. He makes it that way on purpose because he has decided in advance that he will not cheat.
Setting the boundaries far before the event requires planning. If you decide you aren’t going to drink, maybe you should plan to meet friends someplace besides the bar. Or, if you can handle it, plan to drink soda and make sure the bar you are going to has it before you go.
You have to set those lines back far enough so you are tempted. And that means knowing yourself and using it against you to help you.
I know that ice cream is my thing. I love it and will eat as much as I can get my hands on it. If I’m on my diet plan, ice cream is most definitely not on it. I will set myself up for success by knowing that if I go to the ice cream shop with friends and/or family, I will order something. So I simply will try and go someplace else with friends and family, or I won’t go. I’ll just stay at home.
These measures all seem extreme and easy. If you want to be successful at setting personal boundaries you have to move those lines back further than you think you should to ensure that you don’t stumble over the that line by accident or happenstance.
What to do When You Fail: Not if, but when
Oct 26, 2021
What to do when you fail, because you will fail at something sooner or later… but then what?
I finished a 75 Hard Challenge a couple weeks ago and still feel like a failure. What do you do when you fail? I don’t know what to do but start again.
You haven’t really failed until you give up on your goals.
In the Marine Corps I was trained to continue to fight no matter what. You continue forward. If you can think, if you can move, if you can do anything, you move forward. Your mind will want you to quit long before your body gives out.
I proved that to my young self-time and time again. And throughout my 10-year career, I only saw a couple of Marines truly fail. It wasn’t because they gave up, it was because their body failed them. I endured too long more than once and came away with injuries that still bother me today. You can do more than you ever thought possible.
The trick is, when you feel like you failed, you have to get up and do it again. You have to keep trying until you make it.
Once you get past failure, the next step is professionalism.
I was honored in 2006 to be sent to a Spec Ops school as a “conventional unit” we were the first to go to this particular military school. I loved every second of the two-week course training to be a spec ops warrior.
One of the things I learned was how to operate like a professional and train to be one. An old Delta guy told me the simple truth, “Amateurs train until they get it right. Professionals train until they can’t get it wrong.” That shaped the rest of the training I did in the Marine Corps and still shapes how I train professional warriors (cops and military members, and civilians) today.
During my 75 Hard Challenge, one of my goals was to lose weight. I thought by not eating any sweats and working out every day that would just happen. Other people did it, and it has worked in the past, so why wouldn’t it work for me?
That is the amateur in me talking. It is telling me that this worked before so it might work again. The pro in me knows I need to do more.
What do you do when you fail? Do you look back and just be the amateur that is half-assing your life just getting through, or are you going to be the professional that goes all-in and trains until you can’t get it wrong?
I got it wrong because I was thinking like an amateur. I need to get back in there and train like a professional. That is my next goal.
What about you? What have you failed at that you are going to get back in there and work to be a professional at?
Will your relationships with the people close to you suffer during and after doing the 75 Hard Program?
I got a sad email from a heartbroken father. His daughter’s boyfriend was doing 75 Hard and at about day 30 abruptly ended the 7-year relationship for no apparent reason. He wanted to know if that was part of 75 Hard.
That is definitely not part of the program, but could be an outcome and a possible downside of you completing 75 Hard.
If you complete the 75 Hard Program it will have an effect on your relationships with those around you. Everything has a positive or negative effect on your relationships no matter what you do or do not do.
The 75 Hard Program, as outlined by Andy Friesella (2 workouts per day, a perfect diet, drink a gallon of water a day, read 10 pages of a self improvement book a day, and take a progress picture, for 75 days straight), will have a profound effect on the people close to you.
Through this website, I’m hoping you do the program. I’m hoping it changes you for the better (it will if you do it and don’t cheat), and I’m hoping that the people around you will see you get better and want to do the same. If we can get that effect to spider web out in the world, we can make the world a better place. I know, pipe dreams, but those who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, just might.
When you complete this program you will grow five to ten years in maturity in less than three months. You will feel like the people around you haven’t changed, but you have. And you are right. Sometimes you have to give the people around you time to ketchup, and sometimes you will leave them behind. That is their choice. Do they want to improve and grow as a person or not?
I’m getting old and crotchety, if you want to improve yourself I’ll bend over backward to help you. I’m as loyal as a puppy. If you don’t want to improve yourself, get better as a person, and better at what you do, I’ve got no time for you.
You will find the same things. You can either spend an extraordinary amount of time trying to change someone or move on. During the 75 days, you will not have time to work on anyone but yourself. Doing two workouts a day, planning all your meals, and making sure you take time to read and drink water, takes up all your free time. The first time I did the program, I don’t think I spent more than four hours for the entire 75 days watching TV. The average American watches their screens for over four hours a day.
After doing the program, you won’t be average anymore. You will be above the crowd and you will want to spend time with other people that want to be on the top.
Since finishing the program the first time, I am working in a totally new job, field, and industry. I was pissed off at my old company because they wanted to be the same, and not improve policies or procedures, or the company, or themselves. So, I was thankful when they pushed me out at the beginning of the Pandemic and I found a new company and boss to work for. People that wanted to be better and get things done.
As usual, there is always one (a Marine Corps saying meaning nothing will be perfect with a group of people, there will always be one person that is messed up). And he does nothing but pisses me off! And I don’t want anything to do with him. I have to work with him, for now, but if I was his direct boss, I would simply replace him. I don’t have time to argue with someone daily that doesn’t want to do their job, let alone doesn’t care to get better.
The change is worth doing the 75 Hard Program, but like anything in life, there is a downside. There is no such thing as a free lunch.
Make Your Life Better by Being Around People
Oct 04, 2021
I just got back from Amm-Con (Alternative Mass Media Convention). It is a conference for 2nd Amendment content and other content creators that are shunned by most big web brands and social media sights. I got to see a bunch of my friends that I haven’t seen in years. We live all over the country and get to talk to each other via Zoom like the rest of the world right now, but it isn’t the same.
I’ve been feeling in the dumps for the last couple of weeks. Job is stressing me out, the family wants more than I have to give, and I’m just not where I want to be in life. Any of that sound familiar?
For the last two weekends, I’ve been doing work for my other side hustle allowing me to be around groups of good people. And it’s made me feel much better.
Safety is always the thing nowadays because of the un-named virus (I don’t want to get blocked or get one of those “find the truth tags”).
I never knew how much I enjoyed being around other people until I wasn’t. Isn’t that how most things are?
We all have great things in life. Let’s face it, if you are reading this blog you are probably in the top 10% of financial earners in the world, and have the time, the equipment, and the desire to self actualize instead of running away from a tiger or just trying to grow food to feed yourself. A lot of great things in our lives are like air… we never notice it’s there until it’s gone.
Before the world shut down, I could go to conferences and be around other people I liked or not, and it didn’t seem to bother me if I went or not. Now, I realize how much I miss it and want to hang out longer with friends, have a drink, and break bread.
After doing that for two weekends in a row I’m feeling better and more ready to take on the world.
Find people you can be around to help recharge your battery: People that will keep you going. People that know and like you. Sometimes you should go where everyone knows your name (Cheers).
Get out and get around other people. I know you don’t feel like it (for a plethora of reasons), but like most things that are good for you, you don’t always feel like doing it. I don’t always “feel” like going to the gym, but am always better for it afterward.
I am very grateful to have finished and run the race. Did I accomplish all my goals… that’s a big NO! Do I wish I had accomplished all my goals? Of couse!
I did accomplish my biggest goal. I feel and think I’ve become a better person. I read three books, worked out every day and pushed more weight than the month before, and went faster than the month before.
I wanted to lose some weight and a couple of inches on the gut and chest while I was at it. No such luck.
In the last couple of days of challenge, I was feeling like a failure because I had worked for 75 days straight and felt like I sacrificed a lot to get some weight to drop off. I felt like life was kicking me in the face again and felt depression setting in.
It’s really easy to go down a dark path when you let your self-talk tell you about all your failures and again and again. I wouldn’t let anyone in the world talk to me in that way, but I let myself tell me how worthless I was.
I was able to turn it around with a little thankfulness. At the beginning of last week, we finally had the first day of fall here in South Texas. We know fall is coming when we finally have a cool feeling moring.
If you don’t live here, it’s hard to explain. During the summer it never cools down. It’s always hot. Even right before down and in the middle of the night, it still feels hot. It just doesn’t feel as hot. We all look forward to that first morning when you walk outside and feels cool. We normally wait for three to for months, but sometimes it is as long as six months.
This first morning doesn’t mean the heat is gone for the year, it just means that it will start getting better.
That first morning, feeling like shit, a failure, and idiot, I walked outside to go to work and felt the cool morning. It was glorious.
I walked out into the middle of my street and stood there for about five minutes just enjoying the morning cool breeze. Just thankful for everything. I posted it on Instagram (@BenBranam) and looked at some of my pictures. I have a great life. No, I don’t have everything I want, but I have everything I need. And I get to do some pretty amazing things with some awesome people!
From this 75 Hard I learned one thing. I struggled for 75 days of not missing a workout, not eating one sweat thing, reading every day 10 pages, and drinking a gallon of water.
I did it to learn one painfully obvious less:
BE THANKFUL FOR WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU HAVE!
One of the most simple things ever.
I am probably just dense as it takes me learning the hard way to truly get life lessons. Are you like that?
I’m determined to remember this one and to practice every day.
I have a great job. I have great friends. I have a great family. I am a good person. I have a great life!
Most of the time I forget this. I ignore my good friends and let those that are “friends” be vampires and suck away my time and energy.
I complain and focus on the bad parts of my job. No job is perfect, but I love most of it, like 90% of it, and like 90% of the people I work with. I sometimes focus on what I wish my family would do for me or with me, and that sucks the joy away from everything family.
Sometimes, I let myself go down a dark path and remind myself over and over again about all my failures, misses, and mistakes in life. Forgetting that I reached three out of five goals I set for myself.
And then, worst of all, I look at other peoples’ lives and how great it looks and judge their best days against my worst days and think about how crappy my life is. Not true at all. No matter how good or bad other peoples’ lives are, mine is still good or bad regardless of what they are doing.
I am thankful for you reading this. The world is a dumpster fire of uncertainty right now. We need everyone that can to become better. If you are reading this, I know that you want to be better. And you will.
My advice, be thankful for what you have, what you have achieved, and continue getting better and achieving more.
Love and Admiration Towards Each Other
Sep 12, 2021
It’s what I remember after September 11, 2001, a love for others and an admiration for our country and those that were ready to protect us no matter the cost.
It’s been 20 years since the terrorist attacks on 9-11 and the world has changed considerably for the good and the bad.
The attacks were horrible. Thousands dying and more are trying to make it right.
Since then we’ve been at war. America has taken over two countries and killed tenfold what we lost that day or more. We’ve also lost more than the two thousand we lost that day.
After fighting for 20 years we now have warriors going into battle because of 9-11 that were not even alive when it happened.
If you were alive that day, you know what was going on and where you were (check out my story here). Share your story in the comments below.
I want you to remember how you felt the days and weeks after 9-11. How much you cared for other people and wanted to help any way you could. How much you admired and wanted to honor our heros’ trying to do work that they knew was impossible but couldn’t bring it up to those that were supporting them.
I want you to remember how close you felt to all the people around you, how we let petty differences go, and became one people for a couple of years. We all stood for what we thought was right. And we stood together.
We all wanted to be better so we could help all those in need. We wanted the country to be better so it could stop this from happening again. And we wanted to the world to be better so that no one would ever resort to such an act again.
Now, 20 years later, we’ve lost that unity of purpose. We have lost the desire to be better and help each other. We, as Americans, are lost. We have no direction.
I don’t know what direction is best for the country but I do know what direction is better for me and you… up. Become better at everything you do.
As a person, there is only one way to go, and that is up. You have to level up in life. The way to do that is by becoming more than you are right now. In short, become better.
You have to grow as a person. That’s how we make everything better. You become better and help the people around you become better, and soon we have a better world to leave for our children and our children’s children.
Stop buying into all the negative news in the world. These are simple problems to solve. Become better and learn to solve a problem. Help people with their problems and they will help you.
Then the world will be better. It all starts with you taking a look in the mirror and making a change.
Are you on your own journey? Are other people helping your journey? Changing your journey? Or hindering your journey?
We are all on our own journey in life. We are going to the same place. In the end, we will all die, it’s just a matter of when and how. When you die, they will put the date you were born, and the day you died, separated by a dash on your tumb stone. That dash is your life. What you do with that dash, who you impact, and what journey you take to get there is up to you. Live your dash how you want to be remembered. That dash is all you have.
Last week I got a nasty-sounding comment on my podcast about how I’m not really on a 75 Hard journey because I’m not doing two workouts a day. The inventor of the 75 Hard Program, Andy Frisella, says no substitutes and no changes. Well, I did the original two years ago before almost anyone knew it was a thing. Andy announced it on his podcast, I wrote down the 5 rules and started a week later. It was hard, tough, annoying, painful, and life-changing.
Now I’m continuing on to take 75-day journeys one at a time to improve my life. I’m sharing it with you to hopefully help you become a better person. I know as I’m doing these 75 Hard days I’m getting better. As I’m getting better my friends and family around me are working to be better people. I’m hoping the same will happen to you.
If you are reading this, I hope you are getting better and helping the people around you to get better. If we all do the simplest and best thing to help ourselves, we can make the world a better place.
Get on your own journey to be better. Tell everyone that isn’t there to help you to F off. And help everyone you can along the way.
You can do it. It all starts with taking a look in the mirror and making yourself better.
Do You Continue When You are Sick? 75 Hard Day 42
Aug 22, 2021
Do you continue when you are sick? Give up for a day? Or give up period?
Yesterday I was laid up by the Covid Vaccine. I felt so sick I could barely do anything. I didn’t want to eat, didn’t want to move, felt horrible.
Before you go side-ways on me for talking about the Vaccine, it’s only relevant because I got mine the day before. Pain in my arm migrated to pain everywhere. It was the “I’m sick” body aches that come with a common cold. I just didn’t want to do anything. Even going downstairs to drink water was work.
But I did it. I continued my 75 Hard Journey even while being sick.
I know it sounds stupid to say, “look at me I did something while I was sick.” Because we all do what we have to do when we are sick. I know when you are sick you still have family and work obligations that you will continue to do. So I just added 75 Hard on top of those normal things.
Pushing through the hard times no matter what is how you continue and do hard things when you have to.
Last year I got the actual Covid-19 and it sucked a lot! I’d suggest you avoid it if at all possible.
But some of the main problems that will land you in the hospital are dehydration and weakness from lack of food. So when I had the Rona I made myself get up every hour and drink water and walk around. I also forced myself to eat something once a day. I had extreme muscle pain and my blood oxygen levels were on the brink of a hospital stay. But I wasn’t going.
On day two of walking around my room every hour, I had to go to the bathroom first and look myself in the mirror to get the motivation to do it. I had to yell at myself like I was a junior Marine failing at his task. But I did it.
On day three of walking around the pain was so bad I would cry in front of the mirror first and then tell myself I could do it. And then did it.
By day four, it started getting better.
The discipline, motivation, and pure grit I learned from 75 Hard let me stay at home and out of the hospital and recover from the Rona.
This program could change your life and maybe even save it. Sooner or later things will happen in life. You will get sick, a family member will get sick, and you will lose someone… We are all mortal and it happens. But if you have built-in a strength of will you will come out the other side. If you choose to try and learn your strength of will at the worst time in your life you may not make it.
Build your strength before you need it. Do a 75 Hard Program and be a better person. Sign up for my 75 Hard free starters guide here.
Zig Ziglar tells a story of two guys out in the hot fields back in the day. They come across an old hand pump that use to work.
They pump for a while but nothing comes out. So they find a little water from a nasty creek to prime the pump. Then pump some more.
One guy says that’s enough, I’m done. But the other continues on. Because the deeper the well, the longer it takes to get to the top, and the better the water will be.
“Don’t give up, that water is coming says” the optimistic guy to the quitter. And they pump and they pump and they pump some more.
“I give up,” says the quitter and starts to walk away from his pumping duties.
“Don’t stop, that water is right below the surface. If you stop it will fall all the way back to the bottom and you will have to start again.” says the optimist. He convinces the quitter to stay and pump more.
They pump more and more. And finally, water comes out.
Once the water comes out, all they had to do was put a little pressure on the pump every once in a while to keep the water flowing.
The pump is like life. We have to pump and pump never knowing when the water will come out. It takes an amazing amount of work to get whatever you are doing to start flowing, but once you do, it only takes a little work to keep it going.
Do you ever want to be the quitter?
Last week I was that guy. I almost quit this 75 Hard Program go around at 30 days because I haven’t seen any progress. It’s painful to be on a diet and workout every day and not see anything happening. But I will continue for my 75 days and then reevaluate what I’m doing.
What about you? How many days or times will you work on something before reevaluating and moving on to something else?
You don’t have to be great to begin, but you do have to begin, to be great.
Get started, set a time of how long you will work on this one idea before you try something else. And when you set that time schedule, I’d like you to think about Dave Ramsey’s three rules of business:
It will take twice as long as you think,
Cost twice as much as you think,
And everyone thinks they are the exception to the rule.
Go after your goal. Work on it every day. Set yourself a reasonable time limit and then double it. Work for that long, and then try something new.
Energizer Bunny is How to Reach Your Goals: 75 Hard Day 27
Aug 07, 2021
Just keep going like the energizer bunny is how to reach your goals.
Every day is a new battle. Every day is a new challenge. Every day is the same but different.
Yesterday I had to get up at 3 am and be at work by 4 to see an out-of-town customer by 7 am. No problem.
Most people would take that day off from anything else. Most people would just do the minimum of everything that day. Most people don’t reach their goals.
Here’s the secret of how to reach your goals. Work on them every day. No matter what. It doesn’t matter what else happens, if you keep working every day you will reach your goals.
Most people get off track when they stop for a day. A day becomes a week, a week becomes a month, and months become years.
I’ve always had physical fitness and doing physical things as goals in my life. At least for as long as I can remember. It wasn’t until my senior of high school I discovered weight lifting and my goals actually seemed reachable.
I was a fat kid, growing into a fat adult. I wanted to be a police officer but everyone laughed because of my physical fitness. After high school, I continued weights and working out. I got into good enough shape to join the Marine Corps and get through boot camp and School of Infantry. After that fitness was fun. I went through a police academy and the fitness part was easy.
Fast forward years and after I came back from combat in 2003, nothing mattered except enjoying life. I did the minimum physical requirements for years. Then, got in good enough shape to run a half marathon in 2007. By 2008 I was back in the war as a contractor in Iraq. By 2009, physical fitness was back in my life strong and fast. I was doing workouts that most soldiers that lived on the base wouldn’t even think of doing, and loving it.
I came back from Iraq the second time and started a family, and helped start a church. For years I was working a “real” job and working full time at the church and trying to raise a new kid and stay married. Fitness fell off.
I went to the gym once or twice a week if I was lucky. But for lots of weeks, I did zero physical fitness. Fast forward another 10 years and I look like a fat, out-of-shape, old dad.
Now I’m trying to change that. I don’t miss… even one day. I came home yesterday and did yard sprints. Then finished with a walk and mowing the yard for an hour. It was grueling, hot, and I was tired. But I did it. I worked out even after getting four hours of sleep and working 11 hours.
That is how you reach your goals. You work on it every day no matter what else happens.
Here I am at day 27 and still in the game for my 75 Hard Program. And I’m loving it. I got up this morning and headed out for a bike ride. Loved it. Faster and further than I have gone in over a year. I’m getting back into life. I had two good gym workouts last week, one yard workout, and two walks. I’m doing it every day.
What about you? Are you reaching your goals? Why don’t you set a process goal to reach your goal?
What is the one thing you could do every day that will help you reach one of your major goals? If it’s like me, work out every day, without fail. Some workouts are better than others, but I always get one.
If you want to write a book, set a goal to sit in front of your writing station for 15 minutes a day no matter what. Even if you fall asleep at your desk because it’s so late, do it.
Making that kind of commitment to yourself is how you reach your goals.
If you aren’t sure what goal to work on first, or you have the goal of being a better person, do the 75 Hard Program. It will make you a better person and help you reach all your goals. Get the beginner’s guide below.
Motivation Monday is Bullshit! Discipline and Persistence is the Way: 75 Hard Program Day 21
Aug 01, 2021
Motivation Monday bullshit will never work, only discipline and persistence will carry you through the hard times.
Do you ever start at the bottom and look up? What’s that feel like? Do you think motivation Monday with a crappy meme is going to get you to the top?
I use to think with enough motivation I could get anywhere. I loved Motivation Monday and memes that would give sayings like “Just hand in there” and the cat holding on to a rope.
Now I understand that those will get you started, or let you take a step, but they will never get you to the top.
We all define our top differently. Your top should be reaching your goals. You set where you want to go and what you want to do. As soon as you figure that out, now you can actually get there.
Motivation Monday doesn’t help unless it pushes you towards where you want to go.
Once you get started it is discipline and persistence that gets you there. Every day you have to work on it. When you don’t want to do the thing that will push you towards your goal, that’s where pure discipline gets you going. And once you get going, persistence will keep you going in the right direction.
Last week I talked about how great things were going for me on my 75 Hard journey. Once I white-knuckled it and got going, I thought it would be easy. But in 75 days there will always be something that happens.
Last week our water softener went out and pumped all the membrane (a little fake sand that filters the water) into the pipes. I found out at 9:30 on Sunday night. Once I figure it out what it was, I had to flash all the pipes and get the water working in the house again. We had no water for a day.
Luckily I work for a car wash company that sells, repairs, and installs giant water softeners. I was able to get one and get some help installing it Monday after work. Last Monday was definitely not motivational.
I spent a couple of hours each night trying to get all the water going again. I have one faucet left after a week of work.
But I kept on doing all the things that are pushing me towards my life goals. I didn’t give up when there was an excuse to skip a day. I stayed on the 75 Hard Program.
Doing what needs to be done every day to improve you, is how you get better and reach your goals. Letting things get in the way is how you end up like most Americans, fat with high blood pressure. But as long as you are still fogging a mirror you can change where you are.
Pick your direction (your goal) and work on it every day. That’s how you win at life. That’s how you be disciplined. That’s how you get persistence.
This just doesn’t happen. You need practice. And that is what the 75 Hard Program is all about. It gives you a goal and makes you practice discipline and persistence.
Doing a list of five simple things is easy for one or two days. Doing it 75 days in a row is how you get things done… but it’s hard.
75 Hard is a life program developed by Andy Frisella. I learned about it on his podcast now called The Real AF.
I’ve now done a bunch of them and keep going because they made me better.
I originally started this blog and podcast to chronicle my journey. But I noticed that as a grew as a person through this program it made my kid and wife want to be better. And they worked to get better. Since I was already a podcaster at Modern Self Protection I kept going because I think we can change the world with this program.
I get better and share my journey and how I did it with you. You go on your own journey, improve, and the people around you will improve. If everyone in the world became a better person, we could make the world a better place.
The program as written: Do these 5 things for 75 days in a row, no break, no missing, and no cheats.
Read 10 pages a day out of a self-help or business book
Work out twice a day: At least one outside and both 45 minutes each
Stay on a perfect diet that includes no alcohol
Drink 1 gallon of water a day
Take a progress picture everyday.
I did the program in 2018 when it first came out. It was excruciatingly hard. In fact, it was as hard for me as Marine Corps boot camp was. In some ways harder. And it shaped me almost as much as boot camp. It changed me.
Now three years later, I haven’t achieved everything I want, but I’m getting there and enjoying life. My relationships with my friends and family are better than ever, I’m working on getting back in shape, I’m starting to look at things on my bucket list and plan them with my family, my career is on a way better track with an opportunity for exponential growth.
This program is teaching me the resilience and self-discipline that I want but cannot muster by myself.
Resilence and self-discipline are things you have to practice to be good at. This is how you do it. The 75 Hard Program.
This round, today is day 14 and I continue. It started painfully and by sheer force of will (I white-knuckled it). Now I’m cruising. That will change as soon as something hard happens in my life. And that is the secret of this program. In 75 days, life will happen to you. You’ll have something at work happen, there will be a vacation, you will have an emergency, something will happen. Do you stop or keep going?
Keep going is how you learn the discipline and grit that will help you in life.
This round I’m doing five things but cut the list by half a thing. I’m only working out once a day.
I might have been able to do the entire program as written (with 2 workouts), I was just scared I couldn’t do it with the new job that I’m trying to get spun up. So I’m doing a modified version and only working out once a day, but still drinking a gallon of water, reading, taking progress pics, and staying on a diet.
This program is hard but gives you lots of latitudes. You git to pick your diet, what workouts you do when, and what books you read. All of this is designed to make you better. And that’s what I want. I just want to be better. Better at everything: my relationships, my business and job, my fitness, and just life.
Check out the beginner’s guide I put together here if you need a hand getting started. But like Nike says, just do it.
Getting Started can be the Hardest Part: 75 Hard Day 3
Jul 15, 2021
Do you ever have problems starting something in life?
Do you need to make it easy to start, or impossible to stay where you are?
Do you set yourself up for success or just white-knuckle it?
This is my fifth or sixth 75 Hard Challenge and I’m just finishing day 3. Normally I’m really excited in the beginning and takes a couple of weeks before I feel burned out or tired.
This time around, I didn’t even what to start. I know it’s good for me but I avoid it… or tried to.
Do you avoid things you know are good for you? Why?
I don’t know either.
I’ve studied all the self-help information on the topic and I can only find two things that might be the reason. I haven’t figured out which one it actually is, or if either holds true. Are you afraid of winning? or having the responsibility of winning? Or did you hit your upper limit?
Are you afraid of winning and/or the responsibility winning brings? If you do something, have a win in your life, or accomplish something big, you have to do it again. Can you do it again? Can you live up to people expecting more of you? Can you earn it every single day?
I’m reading “Winning” by Tim Grover and it is all about chasing the win, and about how winning doesn’t care about anything except the winner and the loser. And here we are, worrying about the problems of being a winner before we can even get into the game.
I know this was on my mind when I started this challenge. Can I really do it again? Lately, I’ve been lazy and eating badly. I’ve blamed it on a new, but that isn’t the reason, it’s the excuse.
Instead of dwelling on all that, I just started. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I’m moving forward. “You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”
The other likely reason, the upper limit challenge, I first heard from Dan Miller of 48Days.com. He writes books, does podcasts, and training about life coaching. The theory is everyone has an upper limit of what they think they can achieve or deserve down deep in their being. Lots of people surpass that limit, but all of them stay there. When people pass that upper limit of what they believe they should have or achieve they do something that seems to wreck their lives and bring them back below that level of their belief.
I’ve seen this a lot in friends. You can see it in professional athletes that come out of poverty and then end up doing something stupid to lose their careers and all their money.
Give most homeless people a brand new car and in a couple of months, it will have broken windows, dents, and look like it belongs to a homeless person. That person’s upper limit was breached with the new car and they don’t know how to act.
Does either of these things ring true to you? Do you see any problems in your life that could be attributed to fear of winning or of getting more than you think you deserve?
Honor, Courage, Commitment; The Greatest is Commitment
Jun 20, 2021
Honor, Courage, Commitment was the core values of the US Marine Corps while I was in. The greatest of these is the commitment to continue, to push forward, to win, and to complete anything.
The commitment to continue doing what you need to do to win, day in and day out without any visible sign of change, is how you change your life for the best.
Most people want one great thing, or one big push to become great in life. They are looking to score that last point in the final game for the big victory where people will carry them off on their shoulders and that will continue for the rest of their lives.
I know you are different. You are better. You want to be better or you wouldn’t be reading this article.
It is the commitment to doing the little things day in and day out that will make you great at what you want to do and be in life. No one thing will change you. It’s the refinement that commitment brings that makes you better.
If you want to be more physically fit, it’s going to the gym every training day and doing your best for weeks or months until you see a difference.
If you are trying to lose weight, it’s about doing that diet for a month before there is any change. And then continuing to do that diet just to stay where you are.
If you want to be great at business, it’s about reading lots of books and learning lots of things. When one starts making you money, do it again and again until it doesn’t work anymore. Then go find something new and do it again and again and again.
There aren’t very many secrets in life. Most things are simple, just not easy. If you want to be rich, investing a percentage of your income and doing it, again and again, is how Warren Buffet become one of the richest people in the world and manages more money than the wealth of some countries.
Very simple, just not easy. It takes work. Day in and day out. It takes commitment to continue doing that one thing when it seems like the entire world is on fire. You just have to keep doing it.
The 75 Hard challenge is here to help you gain that commitment by doing five things every day for 75 days. It will teach you to be committed to doing something. If you finish it, you will be better. If you fail, you will be worse. It’s simple, but it isn’t easy.
Ben Branam
P.S. I’m starting a 75 Hard Challenge Monday, July 12th. What to succeed with me? Download the beginner’s guide and prep yourself to do the work to gain self-disciple to win in life. Send me an email and let me know you are in. Go to here and sign up!
Success is a matter of working hard and effectively at the right thing. Simple. Just not easy… like most things in life.
Over the last couple of years I’ve started studying books, not just readying or listening to them. And then doing what the book says. It’s how and why I started 75 Hard.
Do you actually do what you read and hear? Me neither… most of the time.
Lately I’ve started doing those things. I’ve also started taking notes and going through the books multiple times. I want to do the things the author says.
I ready the book so that I could gain the wisdom of the author. I, like you, could probably figure it out on your own. But how long would it take you? It takes me forever to earn things the hard way. I’m trying to learn things the easy way.
The easy way to learn is from someone else’s mistakes. I hope that is why you are reading this. You can learn the easy way from all the things I’ve been learning the hard way.
What I have learned the last couple years is to do what the author says in their book. Some things suck. I tried tracking everything I did in 15 minute time blocks for a month. I still have the spread sheet. The only thing I learned is that I don’t get as much intimate time with my wife as I would like. Everything else was a waste of time for me.
Now I’m studying Tom Hopkins, The Official Guide to Success and really enjoying a lot of it. I listened to the book, read the book, and took notes, and now going over the notes to do what Tom says will make me successful.
I study to succeed. I’ve given up 15 to 30 minutes five times a week at lunch to do it and will continue doing it. It is making me better and more motivated to get other things done in my life.
Could you give up 15 to 30 minutes of your life (or just lunch) five times a week to make yourself better?
I guess there is the real problem. Will you take the time to put in the work to be successful? Most people won’t and it is why most people are not successful. I’m working to change that.
Now that you know, will you get after it?
Ben Branam
P.S. I’m starting a 75 Hard Challenge Monday, July 12th. What to succeed with me? Download the beginner’s guide and prep yourself to do the work to gain self-disciple to win in life. Send me an email and let me know you are in.
How to be More Disciplined in Your Life
May 23, 2021
How to be more disciplined in your life by forgetting about discipline and just doing what needs to be done.
I spent 10 years in the United States Marine Corps and got to learn a lot about discipline the hard way. It was a way of life, but it wasn’t the kind of discipline most of you want in your life. But it is the kind we think about all the time. From first hand experience, it is the kind of discipline that sucks.
How to be more disciplined isn’t what you are really looking for. It’s more self discipline. If you just want more discipline in your life, hire a Marine NCO (Non-Commissioned Officer) to stand there and yell at you all day. It isn’t a fun life. But, as Marines we did that kind of discipline so that we could do other things. I was in the infantry. Our job was “To locate, close with, and destroy the enemy by fire and maneuver, and to repel the enemy’s assault by fire and close combat.” We got the horrible discipline so that we could complete that horrible mission. And it worked. In combat in 2003 mine and my Marines discipline allowed us to overcome amazing odds and bring all of us back alive.
Even in the Marine Corps, we do discipline so we can accomplish other things. You need more discipline in your life to accomplish other things.
Here are the steps on how to get more disciplined in your life:
So stop focussing on the part that sucks. Don’t worry about getting more discipline.
Figure out what the little things you can do everyday to meet a life goal.
Make it easy to do that little thing every day.
See yourself as the person you want to be.
Stop Focusing on How to Be More Disciplined
When all you focus on the discipline, that is all you will get. Do you want to practice doing the practice to get what you want? Or do you want to do the things that will get you what you want?
When you focus on being more disciplined, that is practicing to practice.
I love the Simpsons. In one of my favorite episodes Bart is failing in school. He trades time with the smartest kid in school, Martin, to help him study and succeed. Martin spends all this time setting up an area to study in, making Bart sit there and just stair at the wall and his book. Not really studying, but practicing to study. All Bart wanted to do was be out doing what little boys do. Bart showed Martin how to do all the cool guy stuff in grade school. Once Martin did the pranks, ran with the other kids, and did kid stuff (way overblown in the episode because it’s the Simpsons), Martin had no other need for Bart or to help him. And Martin left.
Bart tries to study but doesn’t quite make it. It’s the little prodding by his sister when school was snowed out, that instead of going outside to play, he should be studying because it is what he prayed for. That’s when he finally hit the books. And he passes with great fanfare and craziness in the end.
Why are you focused on getting the discipline to sit there and do what you are suppose to do? Why are you practicing studying when you could be actually studying? Why are you thinking and stressing about being more disciplined when you could simply do it?
Stop focussing on the how to be more disciplined and focus on what you want to do to accomplish what you want.
What Little Thing Can you Do Every Day to Get What You Want?
No matter what you want in life, there is something that you could do every day to get closer to it. Most of the time it is the small things added up over time that make a big difference. There isn’t one big thing that gets us across the finish line. It’s that movie montage moment.
The hero of the story sits down to do the work. In Rocky he runs, works out, and eventually does the best ending ever by running up the steps and holding his hands up.
If you hit your goal, what would the montage look like to get there? That is what you should be focusing on.
Make it Easy
Make it easy to do the things in your montage every day.
Next week I’m changing my workouts again. I’m going to do an easy hike in the morning before work to get more exercise in, burn more calories, and get in some walking shape for a trip I’m doing in a couple months to Yosemite National Park.
So I turned back my alarm a half hour to get up to make sure I can get the time in. I set all my clothes next to the bed and my shoes next to the door. That way when I get up in the morning, I’m ready to go.
Making things as easy as possible to do every day is how you get your montage done. And by the end, you are the person running up the stairs and holding your hands up (figuratively of course).
See Yourself as That Person
The last thing is what you should be doing all the time. See yourself as the person that has already finished your montage. You are a worrier, an athlete, a professional at what ever you have chosen to do.
You become the person you want to be by telling yourself again and again you are that person. You want to be the best sales person in your office, set the goal and do those little things everyday to make it happen. Tell yourself constantly that you are the best sales person in the office.
You trick yourself into becoming that person by telling yourself you are that person. It’s simple psychology. How it works is to remind you of what you are to become constantly so you do the things you want to become that person.
If you always tell yourself you are the best sales person in the office and you’ve decided (like me) that you need to make 10 cold calls a day to sell your goal, you will make those 10 calls. Every time you think about not doing what you are suppose to, there will be a little voice asking you, is that what the best sales person in the office would do?
This always works to get me back on track.
Conclusion
What thing do you want to get more discipline in your life to accomplish? What are those little things you have to do to accomplish them? How can you make it easy for yourself to do those things? Can you see yourself as the person that accomplishes that goal?
Now write down that goal, skip being more disciplined, write down the little thing you most do every day to accomplish that goal, make it easy for yourself to do that thing, and see yourself as the person that accomplishes that goal.
Are You Riding the Wave of Success or Failure?
May 16, 2021
Which wave are you riding?
Success and failure come in waves. You are either riding one or the other. You just can’t stay where you are. And it would be better to catch a wave in the direction you are headed.
The problem is tons of people catch the failure wave in lots of things they do in life. Are you on this wave? It starts with your mindset. Just like everything else in life, whether you think you can or you can’t, you are right.
For me, that mindset starts with focusing on the negativity of what I’m doing. I start thinking the worst in people around me, the institutions around me, and then myself. It’s a complete wave of crap that comes over me and to get off takes more effort to get off than on.
Once I’m on the negative wave I ride it down, down, down. And my life sucks because of it.
To go the other way, we have to start with positive thinking. You can do it. You see the best in people. And you enjoy being around them.
Simple right? Just not easy.
Start with thankfulness and saying good things about the people around you. Then move onto institutions, like your work. Say good things about them. There is always something good to say about them or you wouldn’t be there.
Then start doing the things you know will get you where you want to go.
Identify that location, and do the little things everyday. Again, simple, but not easy.
You can do it. Just get up and get after it.
If you aren’t dead, you can still achieve things you want in life.
I’m slipping, falling off the horse and need to get back up and try again.
At this point in my life, I’m not sure if it is easier or harder that I know I have done it in the past.
In the past, I’ve been in great shape. In the past, I’ve gone from obese to 18% or less body fat multiple times. In the past, I’ve been as strong as an ox. In the past, I could have accomplished anything physically.
So I know I can do it… or could have done it?
I’m not sure…
But here I am. The three fitness factors I look at aren’t getting much better. Or at least as fast as I want.
I’m putting on weight… which pisses me off.
I’m riding my bike at a slow pace with my friend and very, very slowly getting faster again.
I’m getting stronger in the gym… but very, very, very slowly. And painfully.
I don’t remember it taking that long before?
The question is what to do about it? When you hit platoes, which is the nice way to say no longer moving forward what do you do?
Do you give up and just go backwards? Do you double down on what you are doing now? Do you hire someone to fix what you can? Do you get a coach?
The answer is change. Something has to change or you will continue to get what you have gotten in the past.
You have to let the past go. What you could have done doesn’t matter to the here and now. What matters now, is what you can do and what you can grow into.
Live in the present. The past just shows us what has, hasn’t, and is working. What I’m doing right now isn’t working the way I want so I’m changing.
I’m back on a diet I can stick to. It is not great, but better then it was. I’m doubling down on my workouts and changing them. I’m going to the gym four times this week and going for at least one long ride this weekend. But at the gym I’m adding 10 to 15 minutes on the stationary bike. And working into intervals in another week.
All this should help me lose weight, get stronger, and ride faster.
What is the one area in your life that you really want to make better? Break it down into the two or three measurable things you can quantify. I want to lose weight. So I step on the scale everyday. I also want to get stronger and that is all about getting more weight on the bar for four big lifts (bench, squat, dead life, and press). I also am watching the pace of my one hour rides. I’m trying to get that average MPH to go up.
Find those measurable verables and then track them. Write it down and review it. If you are moving in the right direction, smile and keep going. If things are going in the wrong direction, change what you are doing.
You are the only one that can change you. I’m old, fat, and out of shape. I can fix two out of three of those.
Success is what you make of it and what you decide it is.
You define what success is. My kid keeps telling me we should be billionaires. I’m not going to be that successful. It’s not what I’m shooting for. Maybe I just don’t have an imagination.
I am trying to be and become more successful in many areas of my life.
Last week I started reading “The Official Guide to Success” by Tom Hopkins. It’s an oldie but a goody. The first chapter gives the secret I’m working on right now.
It’s very simple. Decide how you want to be successful in life and then trick your mind into doing the things that will bring that about. It’s about changing your identity in your mind towards that thing so you will do the things to become that in your mind.
One of the areas I’m working on in my life is being more physically fit. It want to be in fighting shape again. To do that, I must become an athlete again.
I’m tricking myself into thinking I’m an athlete so I do what athletes do. Athletes don’t miss workouts. They don’t eat food that is bad for them, and they are always being active. These things will get me back into fighting shape.
To trick yourself into a different Identity you have to tell yourself every day, multiple times a day, that you are that thing. And as that thing, you do these things and not those.
Tom Hopkins says to make flashcards and carry them around with you. I’ve been doing this and it feels like it is working.
My diet has been better this week and I haven’t missed a workout.
Many gurus and self-help people have said this for years. Zig Ziglar had a self-talk card that you can still get from his organization. It didn’t work for me because most of what he defines on the card, I either already do, or don’t care about.
Tom Hopkin says make 10 to 20 cards of things you want to accomplish. Then every morning, at lunch, and before you go to bed review them.
Make the cards so they are in your voice and have you with the identity that you want already. Talk about how it will feel, what you will do, and do not do as that person that has accomplished that thing.
My Athlete card says “I am an athlete. I work out and eat like one to lift more weight in the gym and ride my bike faster.” Right now bike riding and gym time are what I’m doing. When I change workouts, I’ll change my card.
The card-making me write this post says “I am a podcaster and record multiple per week to grow an audience and help more people.” It’s part of my plan to make the world a better place… Just help people be better, and they will help the people around them be better, and sooner or later, the world will be a better place.
So what will you put on your cards? What do you want to be? What do you want to be good at? What do you want to be better at? Say “I am blank, because I do this, this and this. By being good at blank, I will have/feel/get/help this.”
Make yourself 10 to 20 of these cards. Write it down, no computer crap. Something about writing it on paper and then seeing it in your own writing makes it more real.
Then get about doing it. If you review these every day, three or four times, you will find it hard to lie to yourself and you will change for the better.
F*ck Google and Anything Else that Gets in Your Way
Apr 08, 2021
There will always be something that gets in your way. Go around, through, over, or destroy it to meet your objective.
Over the last two weeks, I’ve been letting a stupid ruling by Google stop me from writing on this blog.
I was actually making a little more money on Google Adsense than it costs me to run this blog. It wasn’t big money, but it was nice to have. I was profiting about $50 a month. Enough for a nice dinner.
Then Google again said there was a problem with my ads and they demonetized me. There is no reason or appeal. Then a month later it would come back.
I delinked my other blog (on shooting) thinking that was what was getting me into trouble. It worked a little. I was able to run ads again. But then when I started making money on it. I was going to have a good month of $200 of revenue. My best month ever with Google. I got the problem sign from them again. This time it said something about driving “bad” traffic to my site.
I don’t advertise. I don’t post this blog anywhere. I just do a little google-fu for search traffic. I just use highly searched terms in the title, first sentence, and images.
So I don’t know what they are talking about.
And I gave up… actually let that be my excuse not to write. Life got busy and I let laziness get in the way of helping you.
So I got angry. Hence the title of the post.
I learned over 20 years ago in Boot Camp to become a U.S. Marine. To get through impossible things get jumping up and down excited about what you were doing, or get angry at something and let that rage burn into something that pushes you forward.
So here I am, F*CK GOOGLE and anything else that will get in my way.
You should have the same attitude: F*CK anything that will get in your way of doing something great and becoming great.
We all slip and slide from time to time. It is about getting back up and breaking through any and all challenges. And to do that I get angry sometimes and push through.
Try it the next time you are facing something that seems impossible. Get really excited about doing it. Like jumping up and down you are about to win the Super Bowl excited. Or get angry that something is trying to take your greatness from you.
Sometimes burning the boats is how to get things done.
Getting productive things done is always the challenge of every person that wants to be great.
But what is productive? And how do we get them done?
I’m reading The Millionaire Fastlane by MJ DeMarco and had an epiphany. It’s a good book if you want to be rich. And it is helping me get motivated to get things done.
My epiphany was on what to get done, and how to measure what is productive.
I’ve been working on “side-hustles” on the web for about a decade now with a little success… sort of. It is springing me into a good life doing other things. And has helped me get jobs to make a living for about half that time.
But while reading the book section about getting things done and playing chess instead of checkers, MJ DeMarco said let the market decide, “Put your executed ideas and concepts out into the world and let it tell you.”
It’s about beginning with the end in mind. What do you want? Then putting an executed idea out and try it. Measure your success or failure, and iterate. That’s it.
You want to be more physically fit. Find a way to measure that. Want to lose weight, step on the scale, try something for a week, and then step on the scale again. If the weight goes down, keep doing what you are doing. If it goes up, do something else.
You want more money. Try something to make money. If it works, do more of that. If it doesn’t work, do something else.
Life is about doing something and seeing if it works. Then do more or less of that.
You can shortcut it a little by reading and listening to people that have come before you and doing what they have done. That’s why I read books, listen to the podcast, ask questions of people that have more success than me, and do this website.
This is all about motivating you to make you better. And as you get better, the people around you get better. And the people around them. Pretty soon, we can make the world a better place by simply making ourselves better.
If you want to learn or practice grit and determination. Do the 75 Hard Challenge. If you need a little motivation, just sign up for the emails to get new content every week.
Overcoming obstacles is about your mindset and what you do, not about the obstacle.
Last week I had my first “bad day” at work. I’ve been doing the job for about six months now and enjoying the challenge, the work, and the obstacles there. I saw everything as a leadership challenge and a problem to be solved.
As usual, those things take longer to change than you ever anticipate. Instead of hiring another person, we lost one. And, in case you missed the national news, Texas had a major snowstorm that stopped the city of San Antonio for a week. I was snowed in. It was annoying, but we pushed through (you can read about it here). At work we had pipes burst in the ceiling and it rained on our computers and offices. We lost all of our office space and half our computers.
All of that makes for lots of extra work… tons. Last Tuesday I just got down. And work was a hard and impossible feeling.
About five years ago I was hit with major depression and probably should have seen someone and maybe been on drugs. I did the stupid manly thing and just pushed through. I suggest you avoid depression if you can, and get help as soon as it seems to be a problem. Don’t be stupid like me.
Even after the obstacle of one bad day, I’m afraid that depression will come back. But I turned my mindset into having a better day the following day and overcame my obstacle.
Overcoming obstacles is all about your mindset. You have to see what you want to do in your mind’s eye first, and then you can do it. The Bible says, without hope, the people perish. Zig Ziglar says the student with no hope of passing the test won’t study, and hope is a choice. You gain hope by seeing how you can do things in your mind’s eye. The student that sees themselves passing the test has hope it can happen, then can study, they can overcome the obstacle. It’s simple, like most things in life, but it ain’t easy.
One of the ways I gain hope of overcoming obstacles is by looking at my past. After having a horrible Tuesday I looked back at my employment for the last six months. This is the first “bad day” I’ve had. I simply told myself over and over, that I can have a bad day at work every six months. That still makes this an awesome job.
Look back at your past record of overcoming obstacles. I know you have overcome some incredible things in your life. Most of us forget about them right after they happen, but you still did them.
Take stock of those things that you have survived and/or thrived in. Now, look at the obstacle you are trying to overcome. Use that past strength to find your way to overcoming the obstacles in front of you.
If the obstacle seems bigger than anything you have ever accomplished in your past, laugh about it now, and tell the story now as if you have already overcome it. This will be your new story of triumph and victory!
Now go out and overcome those obstacles you are facing!
To Rise and Grind: The Power List and 75 Hard
Mar 07, 2021
Sometimes you just have to rise and grind through to get to the next stage, or just something better.
A couple of weeks ago I survived snowpocalypse / snovid here in San Antonio Texas. It was an exciting week with lots of challenges. While the snow is gone I am still digging myself out and trying to find the week I lost while snowed in.
Now it’s back to the grind. I have lots of work to get back on track.
Do you ever feel like it’s just a rise and grind time in your life?
You get up, do what needs to be done, just to do it again tomorrow and the next day… and the day after that?
It’s a groundhog day, but not the fun kind like the movie.
There is a book called Rise and Grind all about just getting up and doing it longer, faster, and more than everyone else. It wasn’t my favorite book. Daymond John wrote the book and just repeated you have to rise and grind every day of your life to win. I don’t rise and grind every day of my life. It sucks!
I rise and grind to get through a hard time to better times. I set time limits on how long I will be in a season of work and what I will do on the other end. I’m not looking to be a billionaire but just a successful salesman, man, father, husband, and Christian. A simple life…
By creating priorities and doing them I can get through this season and onto something else.
I use the Power List from Andy Frisella. The same person who developed the 75 Hard Challenge.
Both are simple ideas and simple to use. You pick five things that have to get done today and that becomes your power list. You pick five things that if you do them every day will make you a better person and that is my 75 Hard Challenge.
Neither is easy… any day. But if you do both my your sky-rockets forward in whatever way you have chosen to do (prioritize and execute).
I put both of these in a notebook that I carry with me everywhere. When I do it, my life gets better. When I don’t, it stays the same or gets worse.
So I keep doing it.
Can you do these simple things? Do you think you could do it continually to make yourself better and the world a better place?
Should you stop improving yourself for the test or keep going?
Last week was a frozen hell in San Antonio Texas. No power, water, or internet for most of the work week with temperatures well below freezing all week (-10 with windchill). For Texas it was cold.
None of the systems built in Texas are designed for cold. They are all designed for mild winters and 100 plus-degree summers. Our homes and road are designed to be cooled and not warmed. Most years I don’t need a heater in my home for more than a week all year. And that is only to keep the house above 65.
Last week we got almost a foot of snow in San Antonio. No one was prepared. So people do what they always do in an emergence, raid the Walmart. By Sunday everything in the local stores was gone.
The power grid was never designed for the cold. Rolling blackouts to conserve electricity and keep it going failed when the power couldn’t be turned back on once it was turned off. Without power, all the local stores were forced to close.
People were on their own.
It didn’t bother me that much. I’ve got water, food, heaters, cold weather gear, and wood to burn in the fireplace. Survival wasn’t the problem for me or my family. My worry was what are the people around me going to do as food becomes scarce?
So during the emergency I stopped training and worrying about my diet. I ate what we had and walked the neighborhood to check on things and my neighbors.
We do all this work to make the hard times easier. Doing 75 Hard is voluntary hardship that makes you harder for the hard times.
The hard times came for my family for a week. It wasn’t as hard as it could have been. And honestly, it was a week off for me without much work.
The only miserable time I had was stomping through the snow for hours looking for a water cut off in the ground. Our community pool had two different pipes break and since I’m on the board I ended up working on it. It was miserably cold but easily doable.
Other people talked about their ordeal and how miserable it was. It was slightly annoying and a little bit of old school work. We actually melted snow at one point to do dishes because we had no water.
It was just part of life and a small adventure for me because of done hard things in my life. Some voluntary (like 75 Hard, get your 75 Hard Starters Guide here) and some not so much when I was a Marine. But to an extent, that was still voluntary too. We had a joke when things got hard, “you signed on the dotted line.” Meaning, you volunteered to be a United States Marine and this is part of it.
How do you do when things get tough?
When life gets hard do you stop everything and only concern yourself with survival?
At what point do you put off getting better and just survive?
All questions I’m still asking myself. I was prepared mentally for the last week to be much tougher.
How much water do you drink? How much water should you drink to lose weight? For your health?
I’ve been failing on my health journey lately. I’ve given up the 75 Hard Challenge I started the day after Christmas because I just couldn’t do it.
One of the things I failed was drinking water. Water is the best weight loss drink on the planet. I want to lose weight, but still failed to drink enough water. It’s those simple things that can get us every time.
Unless you’ve been in the military, you probably don’t know what truly being hydrated means. And you probably don’t know how much water you could truly drink without any problems.
In Marine Corps Boot Camp I was forced to drink at least two gallons a day of water. We where forced to drink at least 320 ounces of water a day. Yes, that number is correct. We got up in the morning and where forced to drink a full 32 ounce canteen and then hold it upside down over our heads to make sure you drank every last sip. Then at night before we went to bed, we did the same. And about every hour in between we where forced to do the same.
At first I thought it was a way of torturing us for being bad. Nope, it was a way to make sure we got the hydration we needed to survive the day.
I know your normal day isn’t as active as boot camp, but you still need a lot more water then you think. And if you are over weight, water is the weight loss drink.
How much water should you be drinking? It depends. A gallon is a good place to start. That is 128 ounces. If you think that is too much, drink half your body weight in ounces.
What I’ve found, is that I feel better when I drink a gallon of water a day. Yes, you have to go to the bathroom more, but that is good. You are flushing all the crap you’ve been eating for the year our of your system. It helps you metabolism, your sleep, your digestion, your hunger, your physical performance, and the list goes on and on.
So why aren’t you drinking more water? Other things taste so much better! I know. I’m there right now. I drink Monster Energy drinks like it’s going out of style. And lately I’ve been hydrating more and more with them. Not good at all.
If you start drinking a gallon of water per day, the water will start tasting great and you will start craving it over other things. It’s about starting that self disciple. Once you get it going it’s easy.
Go get you some water weight loss drink! It will make everything in your life better.
Stress Eating: Do you do it? Is it a thing?
Feb 07, 2021
Does stress eating actually happen?
Yes, stress eating is a thing. It comes from us having an unhealthy relationship with food, or so I’m told.
I just know that stress has been getting to me lately. We are down two people at work and I’m trying to cover down and do three peoples’ jobs. All three are getting done, but none of them are getting done well. Which stresses me out more.
The more stressed I get, the more I turn to stress eating. I want donuts, cakes, nachos, and pancakes. I want to eat just about anything that isn’t good for me or on my diet.
I have been working on a 75 Hard Challenge since the day after Christmas and I’ve been failing. Especially on the diet. I look at what I have to do at work and then stop for a donut on the way in.
I get stressed at work and walk across the street to get a couple of tacos and a candy bar because I need to get away for a little.
If you do the same thing I know you are overweight like me. Especially as I get older there isn’t enough exercise in the world to get over my love of donuts.
The book Atomic Habits, it’s all about replacing the bad habit with a good one. I’ve tried to just not eat the donuts, cakes, ice cream, and chocolate but that just doesn’t seem to be realistic in life these days. Those things are everywhere and we have a deep survival instinct to eat the high sugar crap. Our bodies are always thinking the next meal may not come, so eat what you can now. And eat the stuff that will store the most energy (fat).
I haven’t figured out how to completely beat my stress eating yet but have found two things that help me:
1 – Drink lots of water. The more water I drink, the less I want something to eat. Sometimes I have to drink half a gallon of water to make the cravings go away, but it does work sometimes.
2 – Eat something else. For a while nuts were working for me. I could eat a handful or two and not want much else.
Neither one of these techniques works 100% of the time and my will power will only go so far.
So I’ve decided to work on my will power. Will it work for you? I have no idea if it will even work for me. I’m just taking you along my journey and hopefully, you see something that will work for you and get off the track of stress eating too much.
Two things in my life have really affected my physical comfort in life, my age, and weight. My age I can’t fix, but the weight, I can.
As my weight has been going up over the years my health and my lifestyle have been suffering. I don’t go on things I want to because I’m afraid of the weight. I’m also afraid of the amount of pain that trip will cause me.
I’m currently 325 pounds. I noticed that over 300 pounds I couldn’t jump in and out of my truck without pain. I can’t walk for long periods of time without back pain building up. And I can’t run hardly at all. Not that I ever really liked just running, I do like the idea of hard races like Tough Mudder Runs,Go Ruck, and the Tactical Games.
So today, Sunday, I’m working on my will power. I’ve decided to fast all day Sunday just to prove to myself that I can stay away from food. I’m still working the slow carb diet and my off day is Saturday. So that actually makes it harder. And I’m doing that on purpose.
I have to once again break my addiction to food. Stress eating is not helping my addiction at all!
How about you? Do you stress eat? Does it make you feel better or worse? Can you use more will power?
More will power is what the 75 Hard Challenge is all about. It’s you against your will. Will you win or let your subconscious dictate your life? Self-discipline, willpower, and grit is all learned and practiced traits. Doing something hard or going without builds that muscle.
You are either working on your discipline, will power, and grit, or letting it atrophy. There is no staying the same.
What will you do to regain the disciple, willpower, and grit that will stop you from stress eating?
Keeping Your Sanity: Day 30 of 75 Hard
Jan 26, 2021
Keeping your sanity can be a trick in today’s crazy world. Here is a trick I picked up recently that might help.
Our world continues to change and stay the same. Fads come and go at the speed of light, and some of our underlying societal problems seem to be the same today as decades ago.
You need to focus on what you can do toward keeping your sanity. If you watch the news, read social media, or talk to anyone it feels like the world is going to end tomorrow. It hasn’t yet, and probably won’t tomorrow either.
By doing this blog and podcast I have to figure out and put into words something that helped me while going through my 75 Hard Challenges. When I was doing the blog daily I articulated the lessons that I learned that day.
By stopping to think about what I learned that day, it made me realize I heard it all before. But now, I was learning the lessons.
Recently I started doing a 3-2-1 video that helped me focus like this blog and podcast.
A 3-2-1 video is simply a video you make of yourself telling yourself:
3 successes or things you are thankful for recently,
2 regrets or things you would adjust,
and 1 piece of advice you would give future you.
I did the video a few times and it helped by keeping my sanity going in the right direction but seemed to take a lot of effort. So I changed it.
Now I use the formula to journal. I just write the three successes I’ve had since I last journaled, the two regrets or adjustments to my life I should have made, and the one piece of advice I would give future me.
You can do this and it will help keep your sanity in insane times.
If you like the idea of doing a video, pick up your phone, hit record, and point it at yourself. Then, on camera figure it out. I felt stupid so I scripted it and it took me too long.
If you want to do it on paper you could simply make a list. List three things you are grateful for or you were successful at. List two things you would have done differently. And finally, give yourself one piece of advice you want to remember for the future.
None of this is for your grandkids to look back at, but it could be something that helps you keep your sanity as the world falls apart around you.
We can make the world a better place by making ourselves better and helping the people around us be better. It’s simple, but not easy. Start by looking in the mirror, and making a change.
What Happens in Your House: Day 23 of 75 Hard
Jan 19, 2021
“… our success as a society, depends not on what happens in the White House, but on what happens inside your house.” – Barbra Bush
Your success depends on what happens in your house and not what happens in the White House or any other house for that matter.
What you do matters!
What you do makes you successful or a failure!
The way you lead your family matters and makes it successful.
What happens in the world matters to your success so little that you should stop thinking about it.
A couple weeks ago I was worried about the Capital being overrun, apps being deplatformed, and a bunch of other crap. This week I stopped watching the news and reading social media.
I consentrated on me, my family, and my work, and how I could make those better. Those are the things that matter in my life. Who is the president is so far down the list that I’m not even paying attention.
You should try getting off social media and the news. Don’t worry, if something really important happens, someone will tell you. Every time something happens in the world that pertains to me, someone I know calls me whether I’m watching the news of not.
This week I’ve been happier and I’ve already seen an uptick in my output at work.
When you concentrate on what you need to do and not what the social media machine tells you to concentrate on, you get better. When you get better, the people around you get better.
If we all concentrated on making ourselves better and the people immediately around us better, the entire world would be a better place.
Focus on yourself to be successful in everything you do in life.
What do you look like when you focus on yourself? Are you where you want to be? Are you on the road to where you want to be? Do you know where you want to be?
Easy questions right…. wrong. That last question is something I’ve struggled with all my life. I’ve always looked ahead to something vague and broad. I’m not really sure why I couldn’t focus down on what I wanted. I think it is part of that inward journey we are all on for a lifetime.
Growing up the first passion I remember is playing base. I started in the grade school orchestra and moved up. Started playing in jazz band and marching band in jr high and high school. It made me really popular (not). But I enjoyed it and thought this something I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
I had the talent, but the drive to be good enough. Now it’s been years since I’ve touched a base. I still have an electric bass, but it gathers dust.
During high school, I changed my focus and wanted to be a police officer. At the time all I wanted was an adventurous way to help other people. That led me to join the Marine Corps, where they taught me all sorts of bad habits.
I was a good combat Marine, but couldn’t quite get the politics or barracks life. I loved being in the field in learning the craft of infantry. I worked at it and excelled at it. I read every book I could get my hands on about it. That’s how I lovingly got the call sign “brain” because I always had my nose in a book when training wasn’t happening.
Since I didn’t get along with the commanders in the rear (those that didn’t go or didn’t want to go to the field) I wasn’t as successful as I could have been. I got a chance to earn a boatload of money (compared to a Marine was making) to do the same thing as a contractor. So I became a mercenary (for the U.S. Government) and excelled at force protection.
I guarded bases for the U.S. Military in Iraq for a couple of years. There I continued to read everything I could get my hands on. Including a lot of secret and classified documents on war. I had the clearance back then.
For most of my life, I continually worked on the position I was in or the position I wanted to be in. I failed to focus on myself. Take my lesson and focus on yourself.
I would have been wildly more successful if I had focused on being a better me inside the position I was in. Focusing on yourself means looking in the mirror and seeing what kind of person you are, and what can be improved, and then working on it.
Right now my biggest problem is I’m fat. Been that way most of my life. I’ve always known it was a problem but failed to address it any more than I had to. I just barely made the standard to be a Marine my entire career. I barely made the standard for the police academy. I slipped under the radar as a contractor. And as I got older it’s been a problem with my health.
All because I failed to focus on myself. Helping others is a noble goal, but how much better can you be at it, if you are the best you, you can be?
I’ve put a lot of things before myself in my life. Most of them not for a noble goal. But as an excuse not to fix me.
I’m now 43 years old and just figuring out that I need to start fixing myself first, and then can help others.
It’s not about stopping everything else you are doing to focus on yourself, it’s about taking time every day to focus on yourself so that you can get on the right path. Once you are on the right path in life you will be able to help so many more people.
And you don’t have to be perfect to start or do anything. You just have to do it. Focus on yourself.
I’m chronically my journey here to help you. Most of what I learn on my 75 Hard Challenges is nothing new. I heard it all before. I’ll be someone else who has told you to focus on yourself first. On an airplane is always the example given, put your mask on first and then… I’m tired of hearing it! But now I’m getting it.
I want to be a better person and help you be a better person. From there we can all help one more person, and then another and another. And, I’m hoping, we can make the world a better place.
Are you with me? Try the 75 Hard Challenge yourself. You’ll learn things about yourself, and it will make you a better person.
Bring it on! I’m ready to conquer 2021 after the shit show of 2020.
I’m seven days into my 75 Hard Challenge, which might as well be my New Years Resolution.
I tried to start the day after Christmas and failed, but then restarted the next day. Now I’m seven days down and 68 to go!
How well did you start 2021 and when?
After the shit-show that was 2020, I was ready to start early. And I started by trying a 75 Hard before Christmas and failing. Then I reset for the day after Christmas and failed. So I started again. Now I am seven days in.
In the last seven days, it hasn’t been great, but I’ve lost a couple of pounds and been working out. I really want to get back into fighting shape.
I was a U.S. Marine at one time and in great shape. I loved being physically fit and then life got in the way for about a decade. Now I’m fat, old, and out of shape. I can, and am, doing something about two out of three.
Persistence is the key to everything. I’m learning that, again and again, the hard way through these 75 Hard Challenges.
I’ve been learning everything the hard way during my 75 Hard Challenges.
One of the things I’m remembering, and learning again, from being a Marine is “bring it on!” We use to say that to any challenge. Didn’t matter what it was.
Now I find myself saying “bring it” to 2021. I’m ready for 2020 to be a memory and ready for 2021 to be in full swing.
Bring on the challenge. Bring on the new year. Bring on the challenge.
Whatever happens and whatever it is, my attitude this year is going to be with the arrogance of a young Marine and say “bring it!”
What about you? What is your attitude towards the new year? What are you going to do this year? What goals have you set?
Hope for the Future: Day 1 of 75 Hard
Dec 27, 2020
Hope for the future maybe all we have this year.
As 2020 wraps up is there hope for the future? I have hope. Lots of it!
I’m trying to make 2021 my best year ever. I thought 2020 was going to be one of the best years ever but turned into a building year for me. New job, new career, new industry, a complete and utter change. And I like it.
Hope is a great gift. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. It’s hard to get anywhere without hope for the future. How’s your hope? Do you have any?
2020 has kicked all of us in the ass. And the complete truth is we won’t know how badly it screwed us, our country, and the world’s economy for years. We have to have hope the future will be better. Can you imagine living like we have this year for the rest of your life? Me neither.
I’m moving forward with hope. I’m starting a 75 Hard challenge today. I’m making my life better one way or another. I know that I can make myself better no matter what happens in the world. And no matter what happens in the world I will make my situation better.
I have hope in myself and the people around me, my family, and my friends. Whoever becomes president of the United States won’t make a giant difference in my life. Honestly, if my hobby wasn’t shooting and self-defense firearms I wouldn’t even bother voting… it makes that little difference in my life. Because I will win in life no matter who becomes president.
You need the same attitude. You get an attitude of winning with hope in yourself that grows into hope for the future. Hope is simply a belief that things will get better. If things will only get worst in life, why are we living?
You can find your hope anywhere. Look at the people that love you, do they need you? Do you provide anything for them? If not… why not! Give them something of value. Everyone is worth something. Find that something in you and give it to those around you and you will find your hope for the future.
If you don’t know what that “something” is you have; try a bunch of things until you find something you like, are good at, and can give away. Now get out there and get after it.
Like everything else in life finding hope for the future takes action. You have to do something. Hope will not find you sitting in your room hiding from the world. Get out there and do something. Go for a walk, meet some people, call someone, do some work for your job. With a little work, you will find your hope for the future.
After failing in the second week of my fifth 75 Hard Challenge, I’m 3 for 2 right now (I’ve finished three and failed two), I’m looking for things to push my life forward.
This week I started using the “Power List” from Andy Frisella. It’s a simple concept; just make a list of five things you are going to get done today and then do them.
Most “gurus” out there say make a list of three things and get them done. I could never cut my day down to three things. I always have more things to get done then that. I tried three at home and three at work for a while and that still sucked and didn’t work. But five seems to be the magic number of things I can get done.
More then five big things a day I’m struggling and not getting things done and feel like crap. Less then five things on my list and there isn’t enough room on the list to put things that need to get done.
Today was a good day. I got my list done (almost, this post is the last thing on my list).
I make my list the night before and then stick to it the next day. I get those five things done above all else. Once those five things are scheduled and getting done, then I have room for other things.
These five things are my big rocks. Everything else gets filled in around them. It’s a simple life hack that will improve your life greatly.
Brett from the Art of Manliness explains Stephen Covey’s principle well.
This is a little thing I’m going to try and change my life with. Andy Frisella has said it was the greatest tool he used to become successful.
The only trick I found is to review the list constantly (like once an hour) all day to make sure you stay on task.
Day 15 of 75 Hard: Failure is an Option
Dec 07, 2020
Failure is an option in everything we do in life, and it happened to me a couple of days ago.
Every self-help guru says failure is just a learning opportunity. They may be right but it doesn’t seem to help.
Last week I failed 75 Hard. I missed one of my five things and then thought, I’d just keep going. Then I did it again the next day. Then the day after that I missed another thing. By day four of missing, I just quit lying to myself thinking I could keep going and quit doing everything on the list.
”Failure is an event, not a person.” Says Zig Ziglar and I’ll just have to start again to win the next round… maybe.
At this point, I feel crushed and don’t want to try again. I’ve got too many things going on at work and life around the holidays that how could I have ever thought I could do this.
These thoughts are creeping in on me. Do you have the same problem? Do these horrible thoughts creep in and try and take over your mind and spirit? We’ve got to kill these thoughts to move forward.
I was reminded of an old joke from taking a spec ops course as a Marine, the idea of the good idea fairy. She is everywhere. She is there to help. She is a good idea to add to all the things that are going on so you can do more better. But in reality, all the good ideas just get in the way of what you have planned and what you need to accomplish.
The instructor said take that “good idea fairy” out back and kill it! I just want to figure out how to take that feeling of failure and “stinking thinking” (also Zig Ziglar) out back and shoot it.
I want to be free of the thoughts of failure, of not being good enough, of not being able to get something done. I’m just not sure how to do it… yet.
I’m working on it. One of the ways I made it go away was to accomplish something in my life… anything.
This week I’m accomplishing going back to the gym to work on getting strong. I’m going to start lifting again and get my strength back. I love the gym but haven’t been there since March.
Then the day after Christmas I’m starting a 75 Hard.
Are you with me? Do you want to do this together?
Screw waiting for January to do a New Years’ resolution. Let’s start early and get something done.
Leave a message below and let me know if you are in!
Day 10 of 75 Hard: The Secret to Accomplishment
Dec 03, 2020
What’s the secret to accomplishment? Just keep going…
It’s day 10 or 75. I have a long way to go. But that doesn’t bother me. I’m having a problem with the diet.
I’ve been on the diet for 10 days now and haven’t lost a pound… sort of. I lost 3.6 and then found it again in a week. I’m 0.9 pounds heavier than when I started. I was super excited about losing weight and was completely on board with the diet…
Now that I am back up almost a pound in 10 days is a real bummer. I almost want to quit…. almost.
But the secret to accomplishing anything is to keep going. I wrote about completing the mission on day 5. Now I just have to remind myself to keep going.
Over 20 years ago I was given the example of moving a large dirt hill. It must have been two or three weeks into Marine Corps Boot Camp and the Drill Instructor gave us all the secret to anything.
He started his story by saying it would be easy to get a large tractor and a couple of dump trucks and move that hill anywhere. But what if you don’t have that?
“If all you had was your fellow recruits and an MRE spoon, could you still move that hill?” An MRE (Meal Ready to Eat) comes with a long-handled plastic disposable spoon that will probably hold a tablespoon worth of dirt. “If you start and just keep going, eventually you’ll get it done.”
He was right. We don’t have to have everything to start. But once we start we can get inventive as we go. All I was thinking during the story is that we can start that way, but I will be figuring out a better way as we go. The secret to accomplishment, once you start, is just keep going.
If you want to get there faster, you have to iterate as you go. Moving that hill with a spoon would have taken the Platoon (100 recruits at the time) about six months. But we had to get fed. More MREs means more spoons, and bags to fill, and…
When it comes to getting out of crappy situations, Marines are geniuses. We would have figured out how to get it done fast. Let’s face it, moving a hill without heavy machinery is a crappy situation.
What thing are you in right now that you should just keep going to finish? Do you have everything you need? Or are you just going to keep going and figure it out as you go?
The people that just keep moving forward and figure it out as they go are the ones that will accomplish anything.
Are you going to accomplish a mission or complain that you don’t have the equipment to get it done?
Day 5 of 75 Hard: Complete the Mission
Nov 29, 2020
I continue on to complete the mission… no matter what.
As a Marine I was taught that mission completion was above everything.
To complete the mission was more important then an individual Marine, then yourself, or the Marines in your command. Giving my life seemed easy. Losing my Marines seemed impossible.
As a young Marine, I was given missions constantly. Then as a Platoon Sergeant, I was given bigger missions and even had to write my own. The missions were all more important than anything.
Even the missions I gave my Marines had to fit into the ConOps (Concept of Operations) or what the goals of the commanders above me were. And they needed to complete them without fail.
Now that I’m out of the Military, I find my missions not as important and less than motivating.
Now and then I find a mission that is worth putting as much effort in as when I was in the military. The 75 Hard Challenge is such a mission and I’m treating it as such.
Every so often in life, you should take on a task that you will complete or die trying. Some people find extreme sports, some people run marathons and triathlons. Some never find something more important than themselves.
It seems that we do very few things that we would actually do or die trying in our modern world. What is the last thing you did that you were going to complete or die trying? Not many things these days.
A mission is something you will do. There is no stopping or giving up. A mission that is truly important you will complete or die trying.
It’s hard to put a name to it for many people. Military men and women just have something different from them. It’s this quality that makes military members different than normal people.
Pick up a “complete the mission” attitude like a Marine would. Learn that you do tasks, but you complete missions.
Set your missions in life carefully. Once you figure out what your mission is, go after it with everything you have, and don’t let anything stop you.
The Slow Carb Diet is the only diet I’ve been able to stay on and lose weight.
My five things to do for 75 days that makes this the hard challenge.
Slow Carb Diet
Miracle Morning
Drink One gallon of Water
One Thing to Advance my Career or Business at Work
Snap-in
These are the five things I need to do for 75 days to complete the challenge.
I picked the five things that I think will advance my current life right now. I am going to do all of them for 75 days.
The slow carb diet is something I found in Tim Farris’s book, “The Four-Hour Body“. It was a good book, but the diet is the thing I took away from it.
I like the diet because it is easy, I can stick to it even when I go out to eat with clients, family, and friends. I can do it on the road, at work, and at home. I needed something I could take with me everywhere and this diet is it.
Like the 75 Hard Challenge, it has five things you have to do to stay on the diet:
Avoid “White” Carbs
Eat the Same Meals Every Day
Don’t Drink Calories
No Fruit
Take One Day Off per Week
Most of these are pretty simple and I can do them at home, at work, out with friends, and I can always schedule my day off for a day that works for me. Click here to learn more about the Slow Carb Diet.
I’ve been overweight almost my entire life. Even when I was close to making weight to join the Marine Corps I had people telling me I was fat and how to lose weight. I’ve become an expert on how to lose weight because everyone has told me how…. everyone.
For a long time, when I was younger, everyone I met that was older than me told me how to lose weight. It sucked to meat someone and have them tell you, “What you need to do is more push-aways. All you have to do is push yourself away from the table.”
Everyone had an opinion about how I should lose weight. And everyone one of them was worth what I paid for it… nothing. None of it worked.
In fact, when I lost weight to get rid of almost 100 pounds to join the Marine Corps I just started working out twice a day and ate one big meal a day. In about a year I lost about 80 pounds and then quit eating a little more and working out harder so I could lose the last 20 pounds. I missed by six and got a wavier to join the Corps.
At boot camp they had a strict diet, but I cheated. I still lost weight because of the intense workouts that were life as a Marine Corps Recruit.
When I got out of boot camp was probably the last time I made the weight charts to be a Marine. I had to do a body fat analysis to stay in the Marine Corps. And I did for years without problems. Then I put on a little weight. And then a little more. And pretty soon it was out of control.
Now I’m 320 pounds right now hoping to lose 20 during this challenge. I was 355 about two years ago before I did my first 75 Hard Challenge. That was painful. Now I’m trying to go the right way.
The Slow Carb Diet is the only diet I’ve ever been able to actually stay on for more than a week or two.
And I found that is the secret. You can find some fad diet and then just will your way through. It will work for a couple weeks or months but somehow you will always find the weight that you lost. I wish I could find my keys that easy…
If you have a lot of weight to lose, you need to find the thing that works for you. Ignore what everyone says… even your doctor at times. When I was young and losing weight my doctor liked that I was losing weight but didn’t like the way I was losing it. He can suck it!
Now I found a way and even have my blood work done every six months or so to make sure things are going the right way. My current doctor doesn’t approve of the diet either, but since I’m losing weight she can do the same thing as my other doc.
Find what works for you and go for it! Keep going until you find a reason you should stop.
I was trying to plan a big run so that I could do a 75 Hard Challenge with you, but couldn’t wait.
With my new job and a lot of things going on in my life I need a couple more wins. The 75 Hard program is a great way to win in life no matter what else is going on.
If you haven’t done the original plan, that’s where you should start. Do these five things every day for 75 days.
Work out 2 times per day, 45 minutes each, at least 1 has to be outside
Drink 1 Gallon of Water per day
Take a Progress Picture every day
Read 10 pages from a non-fiction self-help or business book every day
Stay on a perfect diet you choose
I’ve done that and won. Now I’m motifying it a little and doing the things I can to push through and make my life better.
My 5 things for this 75 Hard:
Do the Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod every day
Drink 1 gallon of water per day
Stay on the Modified Slow Carb Diet
Do 1 thing at work to advance my career and/or the company
Snap In
That’s my list!
What’s yours?
If you could pick five things that you did daily that would advance your life, what would they be?
Leave them in the comments or send me an email with them. I’d like to know what your five things are!
Personally Surviving Covid-19 and the Mindset that Made it Possible
Nov 18, 2020
Surviving Covid-19 with mindset
I survived Covid-19. I had it bad. I’m not sure it would have actually killed me, but I was convinced if I had to be admitted to the hospital my chances of dying shot up 10 fold.
So I kept myself out of the hospital by convincing myself I was going to survive and creating affirmations to tell myself in the mirror.
Multiple times, more than one doctor looked at hospitalizing me because of my low blood oxygen levels, the severity of my symptoms, and my lack of recovery.
I got Covid at a convention October 9-11(Friday, Saturday, Sunday). By Monday I was having a runny nose and congestion that was really bad. I thought I had a sinus infection and called a Tela-Health thing that is attached to my insurance and free. Tuesday the Dr. said I had bad allergies and gave me some prescription meds.
The Meds helped and I felt a little better. By the end of the week, I felt okay and just thought it was allergies. But Friday night (Oct 16) I felt horrible and went straight to sleep after working at the gun show.
I woke up Saturday morning for work feeling like shit. I went to work and felt horrible all day. I drank lots of water and caffeine to survive the day.
Saturday night I went straight to bed and slept for almost 14 hours. I had the shivers most of the night. Sunday I went back to work and felt even worse. But again, water and Caffeine let me get through the day.
I had no choice about work because I was out of town at a show and there was nowhere else to go or anyone else to do the job. So I worked sick.
Monday I went in early to the real job to get some work done. I did it, but by the afternoon I was not doing well. My boss let me take lunch and get a Covid test at CVS.
My CVS test was supposed to be a 15-minute test, but there was none available when I got there. The lady said it would take about a day. So I got the test from them. I should have gone somewhere else.
I went back to work and was there for another 15 minutes before the boss said go home, you look horrible. I went home, crawled into bed, and stayed there for the next five days.
I waited until Thursday to get my results. The results should have taken overnight. I won’t be going back to CVS… thank you.
The results didn’t matter. Because by the next night I had every symptom on the Covid list. My temperature even shot up to 103! But I flipped the script. I went mind over matter.
I knew the numbers on survival. Those numbers go way down when you go to the hospital. I convinced myself I wasn’t going to the hospital.
I started telling myself, I wasn’t going to the hospital and I was going to be fine. I started doing affirmations in the mirror.
My temperature went back to normal the next morning. I suffered through another day just telling myself I will get better… It was painful.
Thursday morning I got my results and a couple of hours later throughout my back. It was excruciating! It was off to the left side so I knew it was muscular, but severe muscle pain is a symptom that you should go to the hospital.
I convinced myself it was just something that happened unrelated to Covid. I set an alarm and every hour, on the hour, I would half crawl, half drag, myself out of bed. Get a bottle of water and go into the bathroom to look into the mirror.
To look myself in the eye, I had to hold myself up by the bathroom sink. But I did it.
Every hour I told myself it doesn’t matter how bad it gets. I can take the pain. I’m not going to the hospital.
By Friday morning that toon was a little different. I wanted the pain to stop and by then was taking Tylenol, Aspirin, and Advil to be able to stand.
But every hour, on the hour, I went to the bathroom, drank water, and caused myself out in the mirror. I said, “Look here mother fucker! You are not going to the hospital. You are not going to die. And you are not going to leave your family. It doesn’t matter how bad it gets. Suck it up pussy!”
This became my motivation for the next couple of days. Finally, the pain started going down and my movement ability went up. And I started to recover.
The following week I actually could get a little work done sitting in bed. I was still exhausted and could only work for 30 minutes to an hour at a time and then had to take a break. But I continued forward.
By the end of the week, I was up walking around. By then the VA said I was no longer contagious and I went out and did a site survey on a property for work. I didn’t have to talk to or be around anyone. I just had to walk around the property and make notes.
After that, I mowed the yard that weekend. Monday I did another site survey and Tuesday went back to work.
It was scary there for a while. And my wife was freaked out. I’m sure when she reads this she will wish she had made me go to the hospital. But the medics would have to have carried me against my will to go.
I pushed through with mindset alone. Your mindset and your vision for what will or will not happen is the greatest tool you have to get through anything. All you have to do is believe it and you can overcome 99% of the things you will face.
Take my example and the next time you have an impossible task, put your mind right, and get the task done.
The secret of life is easy… just keep going until you get what you want.
Life isn’t over until it’s over. If you just keep going, sooner or later you will get what you want. Sometimes you find a way to shift along the way, but you just keep going.
I got a new job and still have the old job for another two months. I just have to keep going. I’m working without a day off for almost two months. I think my next day off is Thanksgiving, or if I’m lucky the weekend before. I’m good with that. I can make it.
I have the job I want but promised the last job that I would stay on until the end of the year. That’s already changing to look like the middle of November. I’m good with that.
So I just keep going. At first, I thought I was going to have to honor my word and work until the end of the year. My days off would have been Thanksgiving and Christmas. But it’s already looking better. I just have to practice the secret of life, keep going and things will work out.
Pushing forward is the only way to get what you want.
I got my new job two weeks ago and am now putting on weight. I haven’t had the time or energy to work out. That is changing tomorrow. I have a workout scheduled for after work.
My career is back on track, and now I need to keep my workouts, family life, and friendships on track too. Something has to give for now, as I am in a season of work (see my last post on work). If you are going to let one area of your life slip, you have to build up the others and so you can afford some downtime.
I have great family relationships and my friendships are good. If I let those slip a little during my season of work I can pick them up and keep going after this season is over. A season in nature is three months. If you keep to that, you will do fine. When your seasons become longer, it becomes a problem and you might do irreparable damage to those areas.
So master the secret of life, keep going in all areas no matter what happens. Balance yourself in the seven areas of life: Career, Social, Financial, Family, Physical, Mental, and Spiritual.
If you use the secret of life in all 7 areas of life, eventually you will master life. You will love your life and what you are doing.
Now go practice the secret of life. It’s what I’m doing right now.
There is a season to plant, there is a season to harvest. There is a season to rest and there is a season of work.
I had my season of rest while I was unemployed. Now I have two jobs and it is a season of work.
I’m not complaining, but my next day off is Thanksgiving! Two months straight. I’ve done worse. I’ll be okay.
Be careful of what you wish for. Now I’m in a season of work.
I finally found a “real” job that pays really well and wants me to work for it. I already agreed to help a friend on the weekends until the end of the year. I keep my word. So work is what I’m doing.
I work Monday through Friday at the real job and then on weekends to help my friend. The money is good, I just have to work for it.
I don’t mind the work. In fact I welcome the work. To be productive again.
What does the word “work” mean to you?
My kid thinks it’s a four-letter word and shouldn’t be used in polite company. He hates it when I talk about work.
Some people see work as that thing people were cursed by God in the Garden of Eden so long ago.
My wife is nutural about the word.
Me, I welcome the word. I welcome a chance to do something productive for pay. I enjoy it.
Do you look forward to work, or look to it as a “have to.”
Changing your mindset is easy. Say I got to work instead of I have to work. And find a job that you say I get to go to.
Right now I get to go to a real job, I sell car wash equipment for AutoBrite in San Antonio and am loving it! I also sell firearms on the side for Sparks Firearms on the weekends at shows. Both are great jobs and I love selling stuff to people.
I get to learn what people want and need and help them get it. I guess I have a personality for sales and have found my true profession late in life. I just didn’t want to be a widget salesman like so many I’ve met. I found products that I have a passion for and love learning about and talking about.
I get to work.
How about you? Do you get to work, or do you have to work?
My emotional control isn’t doing well right now. Do you ever have that feeling when your emotions run away from you for the stupidest reasons?
Pick your favorite
This last week has been a roller coaster for me!
I’m looking at a new job in a new industry and really excited about it. When anything happens that is unexpected it makes my anxiety kick in.
Nothing more unnerving than the unknown.
I’m trying to cope. After 40 years of working on it as a man, and 10 years in the Marine Corps, where I was trained to control my emotions, I still have issues. Is emotional control a life long process?
I think learning to have control over your emotions is a life long process. Some of us are better at it than others. I feel like I’ve been better at it in the past.
Emotional Control comes down to three things:
Recognizing your emotions are there
Taking a breath
Making your tone and body language appear the way you want to feel
Or you can break that down to only 2 steps if you want to; see it coming, then fake it until you make it.
Recognizing Your Emotions
Yes, we all have them. Yes, they get away from us. Yes, we can hurt people’s feelings. Yes, you can do things you don’t want to do when your emotions come up without you recognizing them.
Step one is recognizing your emotions are there, are coming, or are overflowing.
I know, you are an analytical person. To quote Zig Ziglar, “In a pigs eye!” Have you ever gotten excited at a movie? Cried over anything? Been sad? Been happy? Been in love? Or even had a good time?
Of course, you have done at least a couple of those things. So you aren’t completely analytical. You do have some emotions. I just want to control those emotions so they don’t come overflowing out at the wrong time to the wrong person.
My problem is my emotions are not always happy and loving like I would like them to be. I’ll bet you have problems with anger and sadness too!
I’ve had the depression monster after me in the past and that sucks more than any other emotion I’ve ever had.
You have to just accept when something happens, good, bad, or indifferent in your life, you will have an emotional reaction to it. Your feelings are there, are coming, or are overflowing about whatever happened.
My problem is the emotions come and then I push them at other people. My favorite emotions seem to be anger and contempt. I say they are my favorites because they are the ones that come up the most. And both cause me to say and do things I don’t want to.
So recognize that the feelings are there or coming. You can’t get around it. You are a human being.
Take a Breath
In the nose, out the mouth. In and out. Easy.
Step two, take a breath before acting, responding, or moving.
If you can stop yourself from immediately saying or doing what comes to mind, you can stop a lot of problems in your life.
Do you know anyone without a mind-mouth filter? Are they a lot of fun to be around? How about when that filter gets turned off when talking about you?
We all want honesty with a big side of compassion. When I speak without taking a breath and considering my emotions, horrible things come out of my mouth in a way that makes people feel belittled.
While belittling someone was an art form in high school, once you are out of college it is a horrible way to make friends, succeed in business, or just be. Because no one will want to be with you if you are always talking down to them.
Take a breath. It gives you a second to make sure you say and do what you really want to do.
Make Your Body Language and Tone Reflect the Way You Want to Feel
Yes, fake it until you make it.
I’m trying to teach my kid this right now. He says something scornfully out of the side of his mouth like he is biting off a horrible statement. When I say you look mad, he says no I’m not. I’m always telling him, well then let your voice and face know that you aren’t mad.
It doesn’t matter what you really feel inside. People will notice how your body language and tone of voice are and assume that is your emotions.
If you really want emotional control, you fake it until you make it.
After you recognize that you have emotions, and take a breath, you can formulate how you want to be about a situation.
And sometimes anger, disappointment, shame, and sadness are sometimes the right emotions to display.
My mother recently passed away. When anything truly bad happens in my life, I push it aside and find other things to fill my time and mind so I don’t have to get angry or have sadness overwhelm me. A lot of my family thought I didn’t care that my mother died. Of course, I did but my tone and body language didn’t really display it.
Most people don’t have a problem with displaying sadness and anger. My anger runs away with me all the time and comes out in a horrible tone towards my kid and wife. The worst people I could reflect anger at are them, and I let it fly all the time. I’m working on it.
I’m trying to fake it until I make it with my emotional control. I don’t want to show my family I’m angry when it doesn’t have anything to do with them. I know you are the same way.
Emotional Control
I am working constantly trying to control my emotions. Times like this my emotions seem to come at me at the cyclic rate (a military term meaning as fast as a machine gun can possibly fire).
Right now I know you are dealing with some of the problems I am; Covid-19, money problems, missing friends and family, being isolated, and a bunch of other things everyone is dealing with around the year 2020.
Added to that for me are the ups and down with trying to get a new job. I’ll find something that seems awesome, just like I have right now, and then be worried about getting the job. I have another meeting tomorrow with the owner and his wife to discuss what the position might look like and how pay might be structured. This job is hitting a little above my weight class. I know I have the skills and can do it, just the pay and responsibility seem to be one step higher then what is on my resume and I have a little imposter syndrome going. I’m afraid the owner is going to see that and not want me.
All of that is stupid but is all there. As I get excited about the position, the highs get higher, and the lows get lower. And they come faster for me. So I’m working to control my emotions.
What step do you think is missing? Do you think there should be one more? Or something different?
Ben Branam
Leave a comment and let everyone know so we can learn from each other.
Where were you when the planes hit on 9-11? What did you feel that day? How did those feelings change in the following weeks?
I want you to remember that feeling of unity the following couple weeks. How the country stood up together against one thing. Nothing else mattered. All the petty BS went away… even when the media tried to bring it back, we rejected it.
Everyone became patriotic overnight. American flags were everywhere, and everyone smiled at them.
Remember that feeling today. Remember how great it was when everyone stood together.
Try to spread that feeling and go talk to people. If we all look for that one thing in common we can find that one thing that links us.
No matter who you are and who that other person is, we all have more in common than not. If we find that one thing we have in common with someone else, we can build bonds, make friends, and make the world a better place.
This also works for your self-defense. Your friends are more likely to help you and stand with when bad times come. You’ll get involved and help friends, but strangers, or “those” people you might not.
Make friends, make yourself and your family safer, and make the world a better place.
How do you deal with that overwhelming feeling? That feeling that the world is trying to crush you and there is nothing you can do?
The last two days have been easy for me. I had family in town and friends over. I did the minimum activity in my business. I should be back to work and ready to go today… but I’ve got the overwhelming feeling.
When I have that overwhelming feeling, like the weight of the world is on me and I can’t go any further, I just want to sit down, have some ice cream and beer and watch TV for the day.
None of that helps me. None of that will get me towards any goal I have in life. And when I do sit down, eat, drink, watch TV and be “merry”, when I finished I’m back to that feeling and just want to repeat the cycle. And that is the definition of crazy… doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome.
I wish I could write the perfect three-step program to get you out of that feeling. I wish I could do it for you and more importantly for me. I’d buy that for a lot of money and would give it away to anyone that asked because it would change the world for the better.
But right now I’m forcing my self to write. It’s painful and slow. But it is the only way I’ve found to get over that crushing overwhelmed feeling. If I sit in it, I’ll feel like the poor guy in the image above. And the longer I sit, the more things are piled on my back.
My wife is an angle and great at getting past the feeling. She can sit down and watch TV for a couple of hours and feel ready to go afterward. She can get a couple of hours of extra sleep and be ready to tackle the world. None of that works for me.
The only thing that works for me is to painfully get things done. Even if it’s the smallest, simplest thing. Even if that thing has no barring on anything else that needs to be done, as long as I get something done it will make me feel less overwhelmed, and then I can head towards something that needs to be done.
I’ve been doing hard bike rides with friends the last couple days and ditching my family for the walk that they sort of want to do as a workout. Walks are okay, but even when I’m carrying a 60-pound pack my heart rate and breathing don’t get up like when I ride hard. So I love the bike rides for exertion. So when even I can, I do as many bike rides as I can a week.
Today, when it was time to go back to walking, the only one that didn’t fight me, was the dog. I almost left him too. But he was so excited about going that I took him with me. Someone might as well be excited about the morning workout. Because by the time I fought with my wife and kid and lost, I had no motivation to go for a walk either.
My walk was kind of pathetic. I went 2.15 miles in 39 minutes. That’s really slow for me. My goal for walks right now is a 15 minute pace. I’ve been hitting about 16 minutes lately. Today was over 18! But I did get out and do something.
I finished my morning routine and started work. This is my work start today. It’s going slow, but getting better as I go. The motivation comes as I work.
I wish I had an inspirational quote here that says start working and motivation will come. That little phrase is what I need to remember.
As I start getting things done my motivation and feeling of self worth come. My overwhelmed feelings go away as I get anything productive done.
Maybe this will work for you, maybe it won’t. But start moving and you will get motivated to move more. Start working, and you will be motivated to get work done. Start smiling and you will be motivated to smile more. The thing I have to do is start. Then my motivation will come.
What works for you? When that overwhelming feeling hits, how do you get out of it? Does it just pass or get worse? Do you have a ritual or something you have tried to get it better?
Leave a comment below on what has worked for you and what hasn’t. We can all learn from each other and become better.
Being better is what this blog is all about. Make yourself better, then make the people around you better, and we can make the world a better place.
Do you want to be better? Of course you do. You are reading this blog.
This blog is all about making you better, so you can make the people around you better, so they can make the people around them better, and we can make the world a better place. It’s a slowly but surely plan and I’m working it.
Are you with me? At least in the part of making yourself better? Make yourself better, and the rest will follow.
These 13 Steps to Self Improvement came from Jack Spirko at The Survival Podcast. This is step 7-13. Do the first six and finish up with these and you will make your life better.
Step 7:
What concerns you? What can you influence? and What do you control?
This is from the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. With everything wrong in the world you need to know what things you can control, what you can influence, and what just concerns you.
You have a giant circle of concern. Most everything on the news tonight concerns you. Riots everywhere, Russian collusion, the Rona is going to kill everyone, and voter fraud, are all examples of what is on the news right now that may or may not concern you. These things concern me, but I have no way to influence any of them. I can’t fix voter fraud, make Russia help or not help during the election or talk or not talk to President Trump, I can’t stop the spread of the Rona, and the riots are something I actively avoid. It all bothers me. But what can I do to really fix any of it?
I know you have a list that is thousands of things that concern you. And that’s okay. But don’t waste the majority of your energy on anything that you can’t actively influence or control.
The things you influence are probably your family, the business you work for, your friends, and the people you interact with daily. I can ask my wife to do something but I can’t make her. I can give my friends information about things going on in the world but I can’t make them do anything. Because we have a good friendship they might listen to me and act on my advice… or they might not.
The things you directly control are what you do. If you are a content creator like me, create content. I have some influence over whether people like it or not (if it’s any good, or my best work) but I am only concerned that you will like this post and act on it.
Take 15 to 30 minutes and make a list of everything that bothers you and you would like to change or make better.
Now put a number 1, 2, or 3 next to each thing. 1’s are the things that you control and you can change. These should be your number one priority of things you spend energy and time working on.
Put a number 2 next to the things you influence, and a number 3 next to the things that only concern you.
If you have time and energy left over after you work on all the ones, then work some on the twos. The threes you need to just let go. The riots really bother me. I love a good protest, but draw the line at people, any people, getting hurt and other people’s things getting destroyed. It breaks my heart that there are people out there getting hurt and killed in all the mess. And the reason it started this round is that someone got killed. But I really can’t change it. I have to let it go and work on the things that I can change, like helping you be better.
Make a list of the things that concern you, you influence, and you control. Make sure you mark them accordingly.
Step 8
Turn off the news for a week… just a week.
I alluded to this problem in Step 7… but it’s a problem. When was the last time you saw something positive on the news?
The news on TV and internet videos are toxic and will make you angry, upset, and pull you away from those things you can control and influence.
Don’t believe me? Find a story from a news outlet on the internet that has the story and a video about the story. Read the article then watch the video. How did you feel after reading the story? How different did you feel after watching the video?
Give up the news for a week. If something big happens that influences you, someone will let you know. I promise.
Giving up the news for a week can show you just how much influence the talking heads on the TV have over you. Don’t let them.
Turn off the news for a week.
Step 9
Review Step 4 “How can I” questions and add notes on how to answer the questions.
Look at all those questions of things you want to do, have, or not to do. Ask those questions to yourself and write down anything that comes to mind.
If more questions come, write them down.
Make this list big! It’s okay to want a lot of things. Make the list of answers big also. Even the crazy, far-out-there ideas might give you something that you can use.
Work on it for 15 or 20 minutes. You’ll be surprised how many ideas come to mind and what new questions you ask yourself.
Review your “how can I” questions from Step 4.
Step 10
Take an action on any one of your “how can I” questions from Step 9.
Find the one that you can do today, or even right now. Go through your questions and answers. Add to them if you have more ideas. Find the one idea or action that you are excited about and can execute today or right now.
If none of them are really exciting, just find one thing you can do right now.
If you are like me, I want to be more physically fit. What can I do about that right now and what is on my list? On my list are: do the Slow Carb Diet, drink more water, do a hard workout every day. If I was unmotived to do anything else, I could simply go fill up a cup of water and drink it. Or I could do a workout, plan a hard workout and set a time for later, or do meal prep and planning so that I eat what I should on the diet.
You can have anything you want in life, you just can’t have everything you want in life. Pick one thing and go get it. Then you can go after another. Don’t be an ADD squirrel on crack. Do one thing right now… then do the next thing.
Take at least one action on one of your “how can I” questions right now.
Step 11
Accept the fact that you deserve exactly what you want in life, you just haven’t done the work yet.
Most of us, and I use to be one, drive to work every day and see someone out running or having a good time and secretly want to be them and resent them at the same time.
A lot of people hate rich people but they want to be rich.
If you resent other people for having the things you want you have put a mental block in your brain that says those people are bad and you don’t want to be a bad person. You will sabotage yourself or, if you are like I use to be, you simply don’t do the work for years thinking there is no way to get that. And if I could, it’s not worth it. So, I sat around and watched TV.
You have to have a meeting with yourself and look into the mirror. You have to get past any bad feelings about the things you want. Despite what anyone anywhere tells you, it is okay, and even good to have the things you want… as long as you do the work to earn it.
What ever it is that you want, you deserve it. Now go do the work to get it.
Step 12
Find people that have what you want and examine what they did to get it.
Find someone that is doing, having, or creating what you want. And then you can take their lessons and do it your own way.
Make a list of people that have what you want. Make a list under each one of what they are doing to get that. I was even more specific, what are the things they are doing that I’m not, to have that thing.
Try to think of at least five people. You don’t have to know them personally, and they don’t even need to be alive. But what do they have that you want, and what are they doing that you are not to get that thing.
Don’t have one hero for this. Every person is just a person. If you make that one person your hero, they are going to let you down. They are not perfect. They are just a person. But they are doing something awesome to get what you want. Write it down so you can add that to your how-to questions later.
Find people that have what you want and figure out what they are that you aren’t to get it.
Step 13
Work your list! Today and every day until you get what you want.
Go over parts, if not all of your list daily. And make a note or two. You can do this in the five minutes that it takes your coffee to brew in the morning. Or take a couple of minutes while you enjoy your morning caffeine to look over the list and make a couple of notes.
I started anther note book and just put a couple things down everyday.
Three sections are in my daily notebook. What’s great, What’s not, and How can I _____? I list a couple of things under each heading and go on with the day.
Now that I’ve been doing it for a while. My brain is already answering the how can I question before I can even finish writing it.
This morning I have two How can I notes. First, how can I get a course that I’m almost finished with up for sale. By the time I finished writing it, my brain said SCHEDULE THE TIME!. And it was yelling at me. So I scheduled some time to work on it tomorrow.
My second was how can I do better at my job search? My brain again was yelling at me, do the stuff out of the book 48 Days to the Work You Love! So today I’ll be working on that schedule instead of just reaching out and doing applications.
Once you do this for a couple of days, your brain will be screaming the simple answers to you. Now all you have to do is the work.
Work your lists every day.
Conclusion
That’s it. It is that simple. This does so many things that all the gurus say. Actually, it does everything that every self-help guru I’ve ever listened to says to do… almost.
The only thing that seems to be missing is a formal goals program. But I think it’s there, just in a different way.
I’m working my lists.
How about you? What’s on your list and what are you doing today to get what you want? Put your answer in the comments below.
How you can create a self improvement plan in just 13 steps.
Do you want to be better?
Do you know how to be a better person?
How many things have you tried to be better?
You are reading this so I know you want to be better. Me too!
I know you have read, heard, and tried a bunch of different things to make your life better. Me too!
I found this program from a survival specialist named Jack Spirko. He runs The Survival Podcast and I have been listening to him for years. Not because I’m preparing for the end of the world, but because I want to be better today. He does a bunch of shows on self-help and business.
He is not a self-help guru or business that tells other people how to have a business as their way to make money. He actually makes a living from his podcast and does the self-improvement and business stuff on the side to help people.
I do this self-improvement thing on the side as a way to help people. And really it’s my journey to becoming a better person.
I’ve worked these 13 steps to self-improvement for the last month and have been more productive and feeling better then I have in the last couple of months.
Most of the steps are just asking yourself questions and then writing down the answers.
I know, like you, it seems too easy to work. But is it too easy to try? Give it a try and see how it works for you.
Step 1:
What don’t you want in your life?
Get a notebook and write it down. Everything you can think of. Take a couple of minutes and think about it. What is your life right now that you don’t want to be a part of your life. It could be people, feelings, things, or lack of things.
My list started with obesity, hypertension, debt, laziness, and sadness. Don’t steal my list, make your own.
What is in your life that you don’t want in your life?
Step 2
What do you want in your life?
Generally, you can start with a list of opposites from the step before. But what things, feelings, people, and statues do you want in your life.
I started with physical fitness, money, and joy.
Your list could be a simple inverse of Step 1 or could be as long as the things you can imagine. Sit down and write down your list.
What do you want in your life?
Step 3
Where do you want to build a life?Why?
If you could pick anywhere in the world to live, work, and have a life, where would it be? Now, what are the things that you really want from that place?
If you want to live on a beach, why? If you want to live in the mountains, why?
My sister lives in the Sierra Nevada Mountains in Central California because she loves hiking, running, mountain biking, and snowboarding. She lives there because she can go out her front door and start hiking up a mountain.
List the things that you want from that place. Now start thinking of someplace realistic you could be in your situation to have as many of those things as you want. Where would that be?
I live on the outskirts of San Antonio because I love Texas and the people. I want access to my own shooting range and places I can go to shoot competitions. I would love to have land that I can shoot and hunt on. But that is unrealistic for me because I have to make a living and my wife loves the city and having people around her. So I found a range I can be a member of 30 minutes from my house where I can go any time I want and have a bunch of privileges that non-members to have. The membership makes it more like having my own private range.
How can you get the most important things on your list realistically? What location would that be? What State or Country would live at? Near What?
Where do you want to live and why?
Step 4
Start writing “How can I …” questions based on the three steps above.
Your mind is the most powerful computer known. It can figure things out if you let it.
Write down questions like “How can I have my own range?” if that’s one of the things on your list like mine.
More of my list looks like
How can I be physically fit?
How can I have more money?
How can I have a job I love?
How can I get rid of obesity?
How can I help more people?
How do I get rid of debt?
Once you write them down, or as you are writing them down, put a note there on how to answer the question.
Leave some space between each question so you can come back and add more notes later.
As you write the questions down your mind starts working in the background on how to answer that question. Let it run wild and come up with an answer for you.
How can I _____ ?
Step 5
Develop a Financial Plan
More than just a budget, but that’s a good place to start. Check out Dave Ramsey on how to do that.
Once you have your budget, start working on what else you want money for?
Work on a tax plan so you give less money to the government. Not illegal stuff, but things you qualify for under that law. How can you pay less taxes this year then you did last year?
What do you want your financial situation to look like five years from now?
How are you going to get there.
Develop your financial plan.
Step 6
Make a list for everything you have and are grateful for and everything you love about your life.
I know this can be hard. But start out with the simplest things if you can’t think of anything. Do you have all your body parts? There are people that don’t and if you look at a quadriplegic you might be grateful that can move your arms and legs.
Do you have a job? Do they pay you? Do you have a family? Others don’t. Do you have a place to live? A roof over your head? Do you have food on the table?
Nothing is too small to be grateful for. Make a list, not everything, but take 15 to 20 minutes and make a list of everything you can think of. Leave some space and add to the list as you go.
What are you grateful for?
13 Steps to Self Improvement To Be Continued…
Next week will be the second half of the list.
For now, get started on the list. If you did one question a day it would give you time to reflect and think about it.
I started a new notebook, but a piece of paper could work or even an app on your phone. I prefer to write things down.
How to stay positive when the world is tying to crush you.
I just got back from California where I had to deal with my Mother passing away unexpectedly. As you can imagine, staying positive during that time was hard, to put it mildly.
If you can’t stay positive in life, life will crush you. Part of the positive attitude is a can-do attitude. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
Over the years I’ve found a couple of things that help me stay positive. Most of them I used in the last couple of weeks with my family to keep the death from pushing us all over the edge.
How to Stay Positive:
Jokes
Keep your sense of humor and joke about anything you can. I learned this in the Marine Corps above all else. Years ago in Iraq, my Marine Corps unit faced being wiped out more than once. We made jokes about “today is a good day to die” from Star Trek. Most people don’t think it’s funny but we laughed when about 100 Marines were facing a division of Iraqi tanks moving on our position.
My sister is a nurse and she finds the same gallows humor gets her through the hardest times at work. Law Enforcement is the worst and is probably caught the most.
Zig Ziglar had an old story of how his tour bus broke down and he and the crew had to move all the old sound equipment from one bus to another. Once they had everything moved, it was discovered that that bus was also broken. He gave his crew one simple thought about the triple amount of work: you know we are going to laugh about this later, we might as well laugh about it now.
I give you that same advice about laughing. You know it’s going to be funny later, you might as well laugh now.
Think into the Future
I have crazy stories about being in combat with the Marine Corps (like the one above) that are now some of the best stories. You know the hardest and craziest things in your life become some of the best stories. If you look into the future now, just think how great a story this time in your life will be later. Make it that later time.
Misery Loves Company
As you go through negative times in your life, remember to invite your friends. You know the ones that can make a joke about anything. The ones that make you smile. The ones that can help you through hard times and life in general. Life is always better with other people.
Of the worst times in combat, I knew it was going to be okay as long as I had my Marines with me. They helped me and I helped them. Fifteen years later I still talk to them and joke about crap that happened during combat.
Find Positive People
Yes, they can be annoying at times. But, they are the ones that will help you change your outlook. Also, you have to work about being positive or they won’t want to be around you.
I know because I did this. I was a very negative person years ago, but started changing about a decade ago. I’m still working on it and try to be around as many positive people as possible.
The positive people are the ones that will encourage you to do great things. The ones that are working on great things and ignore people that want to talk about road blocks they may encounter.
Find these people, spend time with them, and actively try and pickup their attitude towards life.
I have, and my life is more enjoyable because of it.
Read/Listen to Positive Material
And stop watching the news! The news is always negative and will make you mad. When you’re mad, your life enjoyment will go down. Have you ever met someone that was happy when they were mad?
Find yourself some books, blogs, podcasts, or YouTube videos that are positive. People like Zig Ziglar, Tony Robbins, Dan Miller, and Hal Elrod are my favorites. If your first thought is negative towards these people then you need positivity more than you think.
Find someone you like and starting reading their books, articles, and content. You can find so much free stuff now, that you don’t even need to buy something to get started.
But, paying for a book is the way to get their best material and is the cheapest investment you can make in yourself. Once you find someone you like, buy one of their books and read or listen to it. It will make your life better.
Go Exercise Outside
You’ve probably heard most of the science behind exercise endorphins and the dopamine hit your brain gets from being outside. So no science here.
What I can tell you is this works for me. I wasn’t making it last week. My mother died and I spent almost two weeks helping my father with her death and cleaning up his house and her life. It was crushing and still is. I was going into a hole of depression and hurt. I’ve had that depression monster take over my life a couple of times and it’s horrible.
My sisters and I went for a bike ride. An easy ride outside changed my mindset. Yes, I physically hurt after the ride because I borrowed a bike and didn’t have riding shorts, gloves, or even a helmet. But my mental attitude changed for the better.
So the next day, I did it again. I was physically in pain from the day before and popped some Advil to feel better, but went. And felt even better.
You can feel better too. Go for a hard walk or something outside. Push yourself a little and it will make you feel better.
Take a Break
If you are going through crap, take a break from the crap and do something you enjoy.
Yes, it will take you twice as long to get through the crap, but your mental health will be a lot better. And your life will be better for it.
I know it sounds counter intuitive, but it try it. It will make your life better.
Celebrate Little Wins
Sometimes the smallest wins are the ones we skip. I did this for years. I just kept looking to the next thing and never stopped to celebrate.
One time I did celebrate a little win and bought the first round of drinks for people to celebrate, one guy got a DUI that night and another guy got kicked out of the program for an alcohol involved incident that we all celebrated getting into.
I’ve since got past that. And now I look at celebrating small wins.
The last two weeks with my mother’s estate needed to be wrapped up, we celebrated every phone call with the bank complete, and every account that was closed. It was a lot.
The small celebrations can keep you going towards the big goals that need to get done.
Routine
Create one! Set yourself some time limits on everything and anything you do. This doesn’t only include work, but your fun time too (make sure you put that in your routine). You can set a day a week to do anything, or a plan a weekend to go away.
But also plan to work and what stop time you will set. Set your fun time and breaks too. Those trips down social media holes… it’s okay as long as you set an end time and actually stop doing it.
Most of us, me included, work until we can’t really work anymore and then take a break. That break turns into hours because we get sucked into whatever we are doing for a break.
Don’t let that happen to you. Set a time to end everything before you begin. I can play video games all day and will if I don’t set an alarm to get back to work. On the other half, I will work until I can’t see straight and can’t think right. At that point my work sucks and it will take me three times as long to get done.
Set your times and days. Set that routine of what you will do when.
If you make it a routine it will start happening and you will enjoy your life more, get more done, and be a better person.
Eat Better
I’d love to say eat right, but who really does that?
When I have hard times the diet seems to be the first thing that goes. I eat crappy ice cream, cakes, and drink beer that I shouldn’t. I think it will make me feel better… and it does for the moment.
But like most things, the moment doesn’t last and the next day I feel like crap. If we could make decisions for the long term every time, eventually it would catch up to us and we would be happy.
We are all week sometimes, doing better next time then you did this time will make you feel better. And fueling your body with better food will make you better.
I don’t know about you, but it’s hard to stay positive when I don’t feel good.
Drink Water
Another you knew that, but sometimes we forget. I always want to drink something besides water. I love Monsters and beer, but both aren’t really good for me.
I don’t notice the first couple of days or even weeks that I don’t drink water and drink my other favorite beverages, but it comes back to haunt me sooner or later. I’ve reached the later and had to make a conscious effort to drink water over other things.
It’s a little thing like eating better, but it will help your mind, body, and soul feel better, then you can make the conscious effort to stay positive even when the world is crashing down around you.
Conclusion
I’m still working on grieving and pain. My Mom died. But working on the list above I was able to be more positive about the time I spent away from home and with family.
Honestly, now that I’m home, it’s harder than when I was taking care of problems. This week I’ve been concentrating on getting my routine going again. I feel better (making it easier to stay positive) when I get things done. My routine is how I get things done.
What about you? How do you stay positive in this crazy world we live in?
Ben Branam
P.S. Try the 75 Hard Challenge to start learning this stuff yourself. Granted I learned all of this the hard way (and am learning it again). I’m hoping you can be smarter than me and learn from my experience and not have to learn this the hard way. Sign up for the free 75 Hard starters guide here.
Here is the secret to any life challenge you will face… keep going. If you get off course, start again and keep going. That’s it. That can solve any and all life challenges for you. But the question is how do you get back on track once life challenge kicks you hard enough to knock you down?
Two weeks ago I was ready to knock it out of the park with my side hustle. I was ready to double down on working and making things happen. A life challenge kicked me square in the head. I thought I had my dream job in the bag after the third interview and it turns out they decided to hire the other guy. Whatever… their loss. So I was going to work double on my business and a couple of hours a week looking for another dream job.
Then, what always seems to happen when you are dealing with one life challenge? Life does what it does and kicked me harder while I was down.
I got a call from my sister that my mother had gone into the hospital and it wasn’t good. Cancer was the word of the day and we had to wait for one last test. The test came back and that was it… she wasn’t going to make it.
Two hours later at 8 pm I had my family packed up and we were on the road to California from Texas. Flights where few and far between because of Covid-19. I would have had multiple stops and layovers. I could actually make it faster by driving 19 hours. So on the road we went to drive straight through the night.
About six hours from the hospital, she passed. It was heartbreaking to make the overnight journey just to be late. It felt like a massive failure. One that I can never redo because she is gone.
I missed my sisters and father in the hospital but was able to meet them at my childhood home. It was no longer mom and dad’s place… now it was only dad’s house.
I spent the last two weeks helping dad put his finances in order, cleaning up the house, helping my sisters, and doing all the things that need to be done when someone passes. It sucks… a lot.
I’ve done very little to nothing to help myself or my immediate family. I haven’t worked, worked out, eaten well, or even bothered to take my daily vitamin. I was at my father’s house for as long as I can work, then headed to my in-law’s house to sleep. Repeat.
This is the first time I’ve sat down to do anything. This is the time when we make our break ourselves. I want to make myself.
I want to be working again. I want to be working. I want to eat better. I want to make time to take care of myself. I want to take care of my wife and kid. I want to spend time with close friends. And I want to help my father and sisters.
How do I turn I want, into what I am? How do I find the motivation to make it a reality?
How do you get back on track once life knocks you down?
I’ve found a simple way to restart life. Just to do it. I went to sleep last night and said when I get up in the morning I’m going to read a motivational book (currently 48 Days to the Work You Love by Dan Miller) and then work on this post and podcast.
That’s it. I set a simple goal and a time to work on it. When I’m done here, then I will go over and help my father and sisters again for as long as I can. Then tomorrow I will do the same thing. I will get up, read, work on my side hustle, and then go help my family.
I put my extended family first for two weeks and now I need to put myself first.
You can only put others first for so long before you crash. It might be years, but eventually, you won’t make it. You have to do things to improve yourself every day. Only a little bit, but every day. If you don’t you will become a shell of what you could be.
If you want to learn how to make yourself be first, try the 75 Hard Challenge. You can get a free starters guide here.
During this challenge, you will put yourself first and figure out how to make yourself better. During that time you will learn the mental toughness to keep going and reach small goals. Those big goals take time and are easy to set as dreams. The small goals take work and the hardest part is starting on the first day.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
To become a hard worker takes practice, like anything else. You have to work at it and try to get better all the time.
The 75 Hard Program is designed to help you become a hard worker and make you mentally tough. Mental toughness is required to consistently do hard work.
You can get motivated. You can get pissed off. Both of these will help you do incredible amounts of work over short periods.
I learned these two tricks in Boot Camp and SOI (School of Infantry) while I was trying to become a Marine. We did hikes, runs, and physical fitness tests that I wasn’t I could survive. I noticed our drill instructors didn’t or couldn’t because they switched off making us do work while they took breaks.
It was incredibly challenging. As I went further and further into boot camp I discovered motivation. Not just the word, but actually jumping up and down excited like a little kid going to Disneyland excited. When I had that mental state I could get any amount of work done… for a short period of time.
As I went through training we started doing harder things in SOI. Range runs were fun… run about 5 miles with all your gear and extra weapons systems to train with. It was a cheap way to get us from the armory to the ranges. Vehicles are expensive and time consuming to book. Running just means getting on the road and going for it.
Some of the range runs felt impossible. I had so much crap on me and then was carrying large machine guns and rocket launchers (M240G and AT4’s) at the time. The pace was quick as the instructors were carrying water and not much else. The students were required to carry full packs, individual weapons, body armor, and helmets, on top of water and food for the day.
As I picked up equipment from my fellow Marines that were falling back I found that I would get pissed off at them for leaving me with all this extra gear and not pulling their weight. I would yell at them and that would motivate me to keep going. Once they fell out and got into the emergency vehicle, I’d just get more pissed and be fuming as I ran to catch up with the rest of the group.
Both those techniques worked for short bursts, but Boot Camp was 13 weeks. I couldn’t stay motivated for that long. Mental toughness came in. Just keep grinding day in and day out.
SOI was 9 weeks. I couldn’t stay pissed off the entire time… I tried. I had to get the mental toughness to kick in and finish the course or get recycled to try again. If you didn’t make it the second time you could be kicked out of the Marine Corps. So I dug in and kept going. Despite having strep throat at the end, I finished with my class.
That was 1999. Since then my mental toughness hasn’t been where I want it to be. I want to do an incredible amount of work for myself, my business, and my family. But I’m tired. My back hurts. I’m out of shape. I’m fat. I just need a break. I have a million reasons to not be a hard worker. But that’s not what I want to be or do. I want to be capable of incredible amounts of work.
Being a hard worker takes mental toughness and practice. After boot camp and SOI, my practice came and went. My mental toughness went up and down as challenges came and went.
My life quit being tough after I got back from Iraq the last time in 2009. So I started getting softer and softer, both mentally and physically.
In 2019 I was listening to the MFCEO Project Podcast (now the RealAF Podcast) and Andy Frisella outlined his idea for a 75 Hard Challenge. I was driving home from Houston to San Antonio after working there for a week to get on a plane and head to Las Vegas for a friend’s wedding.
I was so impressed by the idea of learning how to get my mental toughness back and being able to be that young Marine again, that I took notes while I was driving, figured out how I was going to do it with the rest of the drive, and then created a start date. I was to start the day I got home from Vegas. I started the day I got back. It didn’t go well that first day and I missed a workout and had to restart. That second time, I went straight through and started to be mentally tough again.
Over the last year, I have done more work than I use to and feel better then I did for years. I still have a long way to go to be physically fit again, but I am getting a lot more work done on my business, this web site, and with my family, than I use to.
I use to come home from work, thinking I put in a hard day, and want to lay around the house until bedtime. Just so I could get up and do it again. After I finished 75 Hard I was getting more done at work and doing things with the family when I got home.
My wife was so impressed with the change of my attitude that she tried the 75 Hard Challenge with me later (you can see our journey at 75 Hard Round 3). We both completed a modified version of it together. I think I got more out of it then she did. But we enjoyed doing the challenge together.
If you want to be a hard worker you have to practice and become mentally tough. The best way I’ve found, outside of Marine Corps Boot Camp and School of Infantry is the 75 Hard Challenge. Take the challenge and complete it and you will be a new person. A better and harder worker, not only at work but at home and in the things you want to be good at.
Go do your challenge! Get your free starters guide below.
The problem with negative bias comes when you use it as an excuse not to act. When you actively look for the negative reason not to do something it will keep you from succeeding in life.
Cosmo just did an article about the 75 Hard Challenge. The thesis statement of the article seems to be don’t do it, it could be harmful to your health. They go on to poop on each of the five things you have to do for the 75 Hard Challenge:
Follow a diet
Work out twice a day
Drink 1 gallon of water
Read 10 pages of a business or self-help book
Take a progress picture every day
The article brought on a couple of experts to tell you how bad the 75 Hard Program would be for almost anyone.
One of the experts concluded that if you failed the challenge it would be worse for your mental health. It sounds like the expert was saying, why even try.
The author said the program was so bad that “We’ve decided not to link to this and other concerning and/or triggering content.” I’m triggered by the crap this lady was spinning and I won’t link to the article either. You can find it at Cosmopolitan dot com / health-fitness / a32908784 / 75-hard-challenge / if you want to cut and past it in.
Reading the article with critical thinking turned on actually hurt my head.
My favorite is the survey questions:
“had you heard of the 75 Hard Challenge prior to this article? Yes 32% and No 68%
“Will you try this challenge?” “HELLLLLL NO. 46%. and “I’m still a lil interested, TBH.” 54%
Apparently I’m not the only one that reads things critically.
The point of going over the article is to say you can always find something to support your negative bias. You can always find a reason not to do something, and therefore you should do nothing.
When you use your negative bias that way, it will keep you from accomplishing and doing anything in life.
If you use your negative bias to find the things that could go wrong and plan a way around the obstacles to get what you want, now you can win at 75 Hard and in life.
Zig Ziglar (the best book is Born To Win get it on Audible and listen to him read the stories) talks about how a doctor prescribes medicine. After the doctor has you take the meds for a couple of days he wants to know if your body is responding or reacting to the meds.
You want to hear the doctor say your body is responding to the meds. This means the medicine is doing what was intended and the reason for prescribing the meds is going away and you are becoming healthier.
You don’t want to hear the doctor say your body is reacting to the medicine. That’s like saying this is going to hurt a little. The doc is trying to say nicely that we have a problem. The medicine is causing more problems and not really fixing your original issue.
Things in life will always give us the chance to respond or react to any situation. We have a choice.
Right now I’m on the way to the interview of my life. I think it is the job I was born to do.
I would have never gotten this chance if the world hadn’t gone crazy this year and I got laid off.
I had a good job and was enjoying most of it. But it was just a job, not what I was born to do. I didn’t wake up every day excited to go to work. This new job is something I’ve always wanted to do and thought of as my dream job for years. Now I have the chance to get it.
Wish me luck on the interview.
I chose to respond to my world being turned upside down. It was one of the best things that could have happened to me in the long term. In the short run, it was painful and still is. But I can respond or react. I’m working every day on responding.
You can do the same thing.
If you simply react you are doing something someone else is pushing you towards. If you respond, you stop, think, and come up with a solution to your problem.
I learned this by doing the 75 Hard Challenge (sign up for free starters guide here). It’s made me, through voluntary hardship, learn how to respond to problems not just react to them.
Throughout the 75 Hard Challenge, I had to do multiple workouts and four other habits that had to be completed a day. When work went long, I had to reschedule my workouts. When work needed me someplace, I had to get up early to get my workout done.
You will always have life challenges. In fact, if you do a 75 Hard Challenge, in those 75 days I think you will have something hard happen to you. It will cause you hardship and work. You can respond and find a way around your problem that is advantageous to you, or you can react and just have a problem that might or might not get dealt with.
Deciding what to do ahead of time helps you do what you want during hard times. So decide right now. What are you going to do the next time you have life challenges?
What can you do to help someone else out right now?
What skills and talents do you have that you could use to help someone that needs it?
Last weekend I helped train a church security team (that’s my other side hustle at ModernSelfProtection.com) with firearms training.
They needed the training but didn’t have the funds to pay me. With COVID going around I haven’t had much to do, so I went anyways and gave a half-day course for free. It cost me an hour drive each way, ammo that I expended, and straight up time in the Texas heat. But I was able to use my skills and talent to do something about their problem.
These times are trying… just like most times in history. It always seems worse when you are in the middle. I think we are climbing out of COVID but the world is going to need help getting back on track.
You have a special talent that you can do exceptionally well. Sometimes you get paid for it, and sometimes you do not.
Right now, with so many people trying to get back to work and make a living again, almost all of us could use a hand up with something.
I know you may not be on top of the world, but sometimes you just help someone up so someone else can turn around and help you. Or you push someone up, and then someone pushes you up the ladder of success, and then you can turn around and give someone else a hand up.
Right now, I encourage you to be generous with anything you have in abundance.
I have time in abundance right now because I was laid off in March. So I could go help a church that needed it with a day of my time.
No matter how bad things feel right now for you, you have something in abundance. What is it? And how can you help another person with it?
Your talents can be used in abundance as the gift they are to help other people.
I’m a true believer in what goes around comes around. You help someone when they are in need, they will turn around and help someone else. Eventually, it will come back to you full.
What can you do to help a person around you that you know is struggling right now?
Even a text message or call to check up on them could mean more then you could ever know.
Do something, today, to help someone. It’s worth it!
Learn to Focus with the 75 Hard Challenge
Jun 03, 2020
Learn to focus on what matters by doing the 75 Hard Challenge especially right now.
At the end of March, I was halfway through my 75 Hard Challenge. Things were starting to look bleak all over.
Covid-19 was starting to spread. My wife and I had already talked about limiting contact with the outside world afraid the news of millions of deaths in America might be right.
On top of that, the oil market crashed in one weekend. I was working for an Oil and Gas services company at the time and all my projects got canceled that Monday morning.
I went another week as normal with not much to do at work. My boss called me first thing Friday morning. He never calls me. It was the phone call to tell me I no longer had a job. Because of oil prices, the company was downsizing and I was part of the first round of layoffs.
Congrats to me! Covid-19 crazy was in full swing. Most businesses were not open. Never mind them even thinking of hiring someone.
Things didn’t look good. I filed for unemployment and put an application in for 15 different jobs that weekend.
Everything was closing and had autoresponders about getting back to me after COVID Crazy was over.
Even Amazon, that was supposed to be hiring 100,000 people waited until they could do interviews in person again to hire drivers. The world had gone crazy and I was stuck at home.
But I continued my 75 Hard challenge because it was something I could control. I finished on May 1.
Now the world seems to be going through a different crazy only weeks after the COVID Crazy was settling down.
Protests turning into riots. Stores being looted… and on and on.
There always seems to be something going on. There will never be a good time to start, and the world will always be ending.
You need to focus on the things that matter to you… not what the TV tells you to focus on.
If you watched all the news and all the social media on the rioting going on would it change anything?
You should probably watch to make sure you and your family aren’t in danger. But beyond that, why are you watching? Can you change what happened? Or what is happening?
You can only change you. And by changing you, you can set the example to the people around you.
I have an 11-year-old son that I want to set a great example for. I want him to see me at my best. I cannot be at my best watching the media and getting pissed off. I can be at my best by changing myself and having conversations about the things that matter.
You need to figure out what matters to you and what you can change.
First up, what matters to you? Figure that out! Fast like in a hurry… like now. Put those things in order and make time for it!
When you put things like who the President of the United States is and what he does on your list of what matters you need to look at the things you can change.
There is your sphere of concern (the president and what he does… it’s on my list too) and your sphere of influence. Your sphere of influence is much smaller and contains the things you can change. Like your attitude and reaction to the things the president does and who is elected.
What do you want to show your children? What would your best self do? What would the person that is ten times the person you are do? Now do that!
Focus on what you can change and what matters. Everything else is background noise that you might want to be aware of, but ultimately you have little you can do about it.
Learn to focus on the things that matter to you and that you can change.
I finished my 75 Hard Challenge and kept my workouts going even with the gyms closed and when I was looking for a job.
Having to schedule two workouts a day was one of the hardest things for me to learn during my 75 Hard.
Here we are during crazy times. Are you still scheduling things that matter?
Are you making yourself better?
Are you continuing forward to become your best self?
Or do you let things go because COVID, riots, Y2K, or any other crazy thing that is going to happen to you?
If you are really in the middle of a crisis, you need to shore yourself up and get through it, then go right back to focusing on what matters and becoming the best you.
There will always be crazy happening in the world. We will always live in “interesting times.”
Drink Water to Lose Weight and Eat Better
May 27, 2020
This is how to drink water to lose weight, eat better, and be healthier.
I’ve learned this lesson multiple times in my life and learning it again now.
I’ve been a fat guy. I’ve been an in shape guy.
Right now, I’m back to being a fat guy.
One of the big differences I can look back in my life and see what I did differently when I was in shape versus being fat was drink water.
In 1998 I joined the Marine Corps and stepped on the yellow footprints on October 13, 1998. It’s a date a Marine never forgets. Stepping on the yellow footprints is the first thing you do as a Marine Recruit when you get off the bus at your Recruit Training Depot.
At boot camp the first time we started drinking water I thought it was a punishment. Right before bed, we had to stand on line and drink an entire canteen (32 ounces) and then go to sleep.
The next day, we woke up and the day started by drinking another canteen of water. And so it continued….
After boot camp, I figured out the value of drinking water for health and I just kept up the habit. I drink a gallon plus water a day for years without drinking any soda.
And my health remained. When I look back to when I got fat again, one of the first things to go was water. I was in a new relationship and she was concerned that I drank too much Gatorade and lemonade because of the sugar content. While she was correct, I would drink both those drinks but also was drinking over a gallon of water a day.
I switched to diet soda to reduce the sugar intake and my water intake fell off. Soda makes you less thirsty for other things and all you want is more soda. And my health fell off and my weight went up.
Fast forward to 2019 when I found the 75 Hard Challenge and I had to drink a gallon of water a day. At first, it was tough, but after I started doing it I felt better, started looking better, moving better, and losing weight. Simple.
Now I’ve done the challenge multiple times and one of the things that I’m keeping is drinking a gallon of water a day.
That gallon of water keeps me from being hungry.
And that’s the secret!
If I drink a lot of water (a gallon a day) I am no longer hungry.
When I’m not feeling famished, then I can make good food choices, stay on a diet, and eat foods that are better for me. Simple.
When I eat better I have more energy, want to work out more, and want to do better in life. Simple
Drinking water to lose weight and be healthier. Simple.
How much water? Easy, at least a gallon. Simple.
First start by measuring your water. Get a system.
Just measure how many bottles of water you drink a day. Simple.
I find it easier to pound water as I did in boot camp over 20 years ago. This way I make sure I do it. I just stop and make it happen.
I use triggers. My first bottle is after my workout, I drink the entire bottle with one pull. You can go a little slower, but I find that it takes me an entire minute to fill the bottle, drink the bottle, and have it ready for next time. Simple.
My second bottle of water is after lunch. I just chug it after eating.
My third is at my snack time (3pm). I have my snack and then chug a bottle of water.
My last one is after dinner. This one is a little harder for me because I like to eat a big dinner. But I do the same thing.
Simple.
Four 32-ounce bottles makes a gallon.
Drink water to lose weight works for me because I drink so much water at one time it makes me full. And it keeps me feeling full until my next scheduled meal. I’m also not starving at the next meal.
Simple.
I don’t know about you, but when I’m full it’s really easy to eat things that are good for me. When I’m hungry, I’ll eat anything I can find and get cravings for crappy foods. I use to even jump in the car and run to the store to get some crappy food when I had good for me food in the house.
Not drinking water is a downward spiral for me. I Have to drink water to lose weight. If I don’t drink water there is no way I will ever lose a pound!
I dare you to try it.
Drink a gallon of water a day and you’ll find that eating good for you things is easier…
The biggest complaint is about going to the bathroom. And that can be a problem. You will have to pee more often if you are drinking a gallon of water a day.
But that is good for you! Most of us sit at a desk and don’t get up for hours on end. What do all the experts say about moving and how often you should do it?
Well if you drink a gallon of water a day, you will have to get up about every hour to an hour and a half to go to the bathroom.
It’s annoying to have to get up that often to go to the bathroom, but it is good for you in the long run.
The only down sides to drinking a gallon of water a day is three fold:
1 – At first you will have to force it down your throat. It will take a little dedication and commitment to stick with it for a couple of weeks.
2 – After you do it for a couple of weeks, you will be thirsty all the time. Drinking that much water a day, your body starts to enjoy it, and then crave it!
3 – People are going to think you are nuts. Because only athletes and elite warriors drink that much water. If you want to be in shape you have to do what in shape people do again and again. Ignore the haters and the other monkeys that just want to keep you down.
The bottle line, drink water to lose weight and be healthier.
I know you think it’s too simple. You think it’s so simple that how could it work?
Well, how could it hurt you? How much time and effort will it cost you?
If I’m wrong it will cost you next to nothing in time and effort. But if I’m right, you will start down your path to a better you.
Try it for two weeks. What do you have to lose. I dare you.
Throughout school, Middle, and High School, I was fat. I liked sports when I was younger but it never stuck. I just gave them all up as I got older.
During my senior year of High School I took a weight lifting class that changed my life. I discovered that I liked the gym. And became a gym rat for the next couple of years.
That was the first time I lost weight. That catapulted me into wanting to be a police officer (coolest job in the world) and to do that I become a United States Marine.
But Marines are in shape. I had to lose a bunch more weight to be excepted in the Corps. My diet at the time, stop eating, and run with a trash bag on.
It worked. I lost another 20 pounds and was excepted into Boot Camp.
During Boot Camp, I was forced to eat what there was, and there was no seconds. I lost another 30 pounds in three months.
Then I started putting it all back on. Slowly. Only a couple pounds per year. In 2003 I was a Marine in the invasion of Iraq. There was no food to eat for a long time, and I lost weight again.
I got back to the “real world” and was hailed a hero. And friends take their hero fiends out to nice dinners and BBQ. I ate a ton and put on all the weight I’d lost plus more.
Then over the last ten years, I’ve been putting on a couple of pounds per month until I hit 355 pounds. I didn’t know what to do.
Part of the challenge is to be on a perfect diet for 75 days. I’d read about the slow carb diet years ago in Tim Farris’s Book, The 4-Hour Body, and decided to try it.
The Slow Carb Diet
The Slow Carb Diet is a simple program that doesn’t count calories, measure dishes, or weigh food. Simple. Simple I could do.
All of it was great for me because I was traveling a lot for work at the time and needed something I could do on the road, eating out with clients and coworkers, and something that I didn’t have to explain in detail to anyone.
The Slow Carb Diet has 5 simple rules to follow:
Rule 1 – Avoid “White” Carbs
Anything that is colored white and is a carbohydrate is out. This includes all bread, grains, processed carbs, sugar, and white potatoes. Anything that has flour or sugar is out along with white rice.
Anything that spikes your blood glucose levels is out. And this is the real secret behind the diet.
The easiest way to look at this is anything white in color is probably out. Cauliflower is probably the exception (I don’t like it, but it makes a nice rice substitute for any dish that would have rice as the base).
Rule 2 – Eat the Same Meals Every Day
Pick your default means and just eat those. This isn’t a grand quiescence you will eat to enjoy. Save that for time with special people in your life and for your cheat day.
Pick a couple of meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and just repeat over and over again.
You aren’t eating to enjoy these meals. You are eating to fuel your body, mind, and soul. Don’t fuel the growth of your gut.
Rule 3 – Don’t Drink Calories
Nothing… period… almost.
Drink water. Clear, pure, good. It’s what your body craves and wants. Your body will actually filter all that other crap you drink to get to the water to fuel your life.
A diet soda per day doesn’t seem to affect your weight loss, but, if you can do without it, do without it.
Red wine is supposed to be okay too. I don’t really drink so this wasn’t an issue for me. And part of the 75 Hard Challenge is no alcohol. So I haven’t tested alcohol or no alcohol.
Drinking calories is one of the most calorie dense thing we do.
Orange Juice Vs and Orange (from Healthline.com)
8 oz Glass Orange Juice
1 Orange
Calories
112
60
Total Fat
0.5g
0.1g
Cholesterol
0
0
Sodium
0
0
Carbs (SUGER)
27g
11.8g
Fiber
0.5g
2.4g
Protein
2g
0.9g
So stop drinking your calories! Learn to drink water.
Rule 4 – No Fruit
Fruit does the same thing as white carbs and spikes your blood glucose levels. Plus fruit is dense in calories and good stuff.
I know fruit is suppose to be part of a “balanced” diet. But how’s that working for you? How’s that working for Americans?
Obesity isn’t a national health problem yet, but it probably should be, and will be soon if you don’t do something about it!
Start by not eating fruit!
Rule 5 – Take One Day Off per Week
This is my cheat day! And I love it. I eat all the crap you aren’t supposed to eat during the week.
I eat donuts, pasta, bread, fruit, and ice cream. I also love pizza, so I have some of that too.
Messing with your body and its caloric intake is part of the diet, so It’s okay to have a day off. It will help with your journey.
My Slow Carb Diet
I’ve been going on and off the diet for almost a year now. When I’m on it, it works great!
My routine:
Breakfast is a protein shake and a diet Monster energy drink. I do some reading and writing in the morning then head off to a workout.
After the workout, I pound 32 ounces of water and if I’m really hungry eat a scoop of peanut butter.
Lunch is another 32 ounces of water and a bowl or can of chili. I like with beans for the extra energy to finish the day (I know it’s not really chili when it has beans in it). My wife will make me a large pot once a week and put it into individual jars I microwave to eat. I do add a little cheese and love to cut up fresh red onions to put on top.
Snack is another 32 ounces of water and an assorted cheese/meat plate I make for myself every day. Normally two slices of cheese, six slices of salami, and three slices of pepperoni.
Dinner is whatever my wife is making that fits into the diet. Sometimes I just don’t eat the rice or bread with the dish she made. When she makes burritos, I have a bowl instead of a wrap.
It isn’t really that hard to stick to.
Then I take my day off and have donuts for breakfast, pizza for lunch, and pasta for dinner with ice cream or a candy bar as a snack.
My Success and Failure
When I stick to the diet I am successful. Losing about two pounds a week. I’m currently at 320.1 as of yesterday (tomorrow is my weigh in day).
I got down to 317 at one point working on the 75 Hard Challenge and then went back to 345 over the holidays, travel, crappy work schedule, and not working out.
I just finished another 75 Hard Challenge last month and that’s how I got back down to this weight. I took a week and a half off and now am back on the diet.
Conclusion
When I’m on the diet I lose weight. When I’m off the diet I gain weight.
It’s pretty simple. You are either getting better or worse. There is no stasis in your health and your life.
I can stay on the diet because of the simple rules.
No matter where you are, or what your lifestyle is, you can adopt this simple diet and lose weight.
Learn from me. And learn the easy way.
I tried a dozen diets and all of them were a complete failure. Nothing worked.
I’m still a gym rat and still putting on weight, unless I’m on this diet.
My real problem: I’m addicted to food.
Somewhere I developed an unhealthy relationship with food and have fed that relationship for years and now it’s an addiction.
To help my out, I have a body type that likes to put on weight. All that comes together and makes me obese. Unless I do something about it, I’m going to die of a heart attack, diabetes, high blood pressure, or some other lifestyle-related disease.
I’m just not ready to go out like that. I’ve been obese and I’ve been in great shape. Being in great shape is the way to be.
I’m going to get back to that.
What about you? Can you do this simple diet?
If you knew this would save your life, and make your life better would you do it?
Well then, get to it!
Make your life better. Make the people around you better. And together we can make the world a better place.
This week I learned another life lesson from the 75 Hard Challenge even though I finished it 10 days ago.
I learned how important water is to me.
During the 75 Hard Challenge, I was on my diet every day and was rarely hungry. I got off the diet and started being hungry all the time. For a while, I could not figure it out. I looked back at what I did differently on the challenge. It was obvious when I looked. I was no longer drinking 1 gallon of water per day.
During the challenge, I chugged water at different times of the day to keep my intake up. Last week I had been drinking when I was thirsty and only consuming about half a gallon a day.
Last week I did not want to stick to a diet at all. I was always hungry. I don’t know about you, but when I am hungry there is no way I am going to stick to any diet.
This week I am back to drinking a gallon of water a day and it is easy to stick to a diet when you are not hungry. Water is the secret to weight loss! Who freaking knew?
I need to lose another 70 pounds to be at the weight I want. During the challenge, I lost over 25 pounds.
Last week I put on 1.5 pounds because I was always hungry and eating things I should not have. This week with the water going back in correctly I should be back on the diet and losing weight again.
The 75 Hard Challenge is a great challenge. It will make you mentally tough with a side effect being better physical fitness. Check out my 75 Hard Challenge Outline here.
I am back on the diet and drinking water but not really doing the 75 hard challenge. I have morphed my challenge list into my power list.
The five habits I am working on to make myself better are:
Slow Carb Diet
Drink 1 gallon of water per day
Post 1 piece of content per day
Network every day
Snap In daily
In addition to the Power List, I am also outlining and doing 3 critical tasks per day to move my business and myself forward.
I use Michael Hyatt’s Full Focus Planner to keep track of everything. I changed how it is supposed to be used a little but it seems to be working well for me. I have been accomplishing more than ever before.
Even after 75 Hard I continue to work to better myself.
75 Hard Results: I Finished and Feeling Great
May 04, 2020
My 75 Hard results aren’t bad. I’ve conquered my 75 Hard Challenge for the third time.
My results:
I lost 28.5 pounds. I started the challenge at 347.6 and ended at 319.1. The week before I ended I was actually down to 317.6. Don’t know what happened, but not that big a deal. My weight has always fluctuated five pounds all the time. It’s part of why I didn’t pay attention to my weight sneaking up on me. I gained about 5 pounds a year for the last 10 years. I was fat before and putting on five pounds just sneaks up on you. Now I’m pushing that number down.
I plan on continuing the diet, after this weekend. I did a couple cheat meals and a cheat snack this weekend as a celebration. Tomorrow it’s back to the diet. I hope to keep loosing about two pounds per week by sticking to the diet. It was doable after a while. I won’t be strict, but I will stick with it.
That was my only real measurable goal. The other intangable things are more impressive for me.
I feel great. I spent day 76 of my journey redoing my goals now that 75 Hard is over and I got some of the results I’m looking for. I created OKR’s (Objectives and Key Results) for myself right out of the book Measure What Matters so that I can continue my journey to becoming a better person. The book is worth the read, go check it out.
Now I’m on day one of attacking those goals. I had planned to take the weekend off and do nothing, but find myself energized and happy working on my goals, both personal (get back to my Marine Corps fitness level, or be in fighting shape again) and my professional goal of earning $100k in my side hustles this year.
I went on a bike ride with my friend yesterday and today and had my best showing of those rides both days. That makes me feel great. In fact, so good, we are riding tomorrow too.
I got motivated to work on my business today. I’m working on a five-day course on my ModernSelfProtetion.com side hustle and I’m working on a free starters guide to the 75 Hard for this side hustle.
If you want the free starters guide to the 75 Hard Challenge when it is finished please leave your name and email below and I’ll send you a copy as soon as I’m finished with it.
I should be done this week… I hope. But I’m motivated to work on it everyday.
I feel like I can do anything right now. So I’ve got lots of other ideas I’ll be working on including stuff to sell on my other side hustle.
I’d also like to continue the podcast I started and the posts I started here. I’m looking for people that have finished a 75 Hard to be on the podcast to talk about the results, hardship, and triumph you had finishing. Shoot me an email at 75Hard@gmail.com and I’d love to have you on.
75 Hard Challenge I have Conquered,
Ben Branam
If you want to read about my journey, start at Day 1 of 75 Hard.
Day 74 of 75 Hard: Finish Strong Motivation
May 01, 2020
I’m going to finish strong with lots of motivation. This is easy. The hard part is not screwing it up.
It’s late and I’m finishing my post and have to practice still. I’m so motivated about the finish that I almost messed up the process. That’s the problem with too much motivation.
When you can see the end or finish of any long hard project, you are ready to be done. When you are motivated all the way through the end just makes you more so. But you have to hold on.
Everything is a balance. Too much motivation and you are all emotional about everything and will mess something big up. Too little motivation and you will just sit down and go no further.
I like having the motivation going into the finish, I just have to step one thing at a time and make sure I don’t make any big mistakes because I’m not paying attention like I should.
Day 72 of 75 Hard: The End is Motivating
Apr 29, 2020
The end is motivating me to get there. With just 3 days left in my challenge I’m just trying not to screw it up.
I’ve been here in my life before. This challenge that I’ve completed a couple times and a couple times in my military career. The hardest was boot camp. I could see the end. But there was a coupe more days to go before graduation and a couple things that could set me back from my goal of being a Marine.
At the time I just kept my head down and continued on. That is what I am doing now. Putting my head down and continuing on.
Today was a hard day for me. This morning got my workout in, did a bunch of other work for my side hustle, did an interview, and then crashed. I didn’t want to do anything else. I had to push myself off the couch to keep going.
It actually took me a couple hours where I said I was productive by listening to an audio book. But it wasn’t what was on my schedule. I got emails and a couple other little tasks done. After dinner I got up and got back on my schedule.
It feels a lot better when I work my schedule. If you aren’t working a schedule, you should. It is really hard at first, but after a little you will feel much better.
My focus right now: I have three days left! Don’t blow it!
I can’t wait to get through and see you on the other side.
I’m almost there. I can see the end date on my calendar this week.
But there is still 5 days to go. I have to focus or things could still go off the rails here.
Most people want to sprint towards the finish at the end of a long race. And if you are running some kind of endurance race that can generally work. Everything else in my life it messes things up.
With projects at work that take a long time, if I try and go faster at the end things slip through the cracks and don’t get done like they should.
It’s like typing out a long important email and then being in a hurry to send it so you forget to attach the report that was supposed to go along with your well placed email.
With 75 Hard there is no sprint at the end. You have to wait out the last couple days just like you did the first couple days. It is part of having he mental toughness this program is designed to gain you.
Every day is like the one before. Every day requires a lot of toughness, decline and determination. So for the last couple days I’m looking to finish as strong as I started.
Over training is an issue on this program. This is the forth time I’ve gotten to day 68 and my body is just not doing it anymore.
I’m over 40 now and the built up fatigue and muscle strain is real. I just feel like the day after I ran a marathon or something. My entire body hurts and training makes it worse.
When I’m feeling just fatigued and soreness working out actually feels better. I get up, I get moving, and some of the pain and fatigue magically go away. I love it when that happens.
Right now I’m feeling over trained. Walking and hiking 4 miles a morning is getting to me. And I know my body needs a break.
But this is the last part of the75 Hard Challenge. The pain becomes real, and you have to deal with real physical challenges.
The 75 Hard Challenge is not for your physical fitness. It’s for your mental toughness. This is where your mental roughness has to kick into another gear.
If this was purely physical, I’d just take a day or two off of exercise and training and be as good as new. Nope, I have to push through the over training to get the mental toughness I am looking for.
Now that I know I’m over trained I will slow down on my actual training. At this point in the game I’m just exercising. I’m not trying to hit any goals during my workouts or get anything better physically. That’s how you have an over use injury. Those can be the worst.
So I am slowing down my workouts. It’s not about putting 50 pounds on my back and going for a 4 mile hike as fast as I can. It’s about getting out there and walking 3 miles at a time at about a 3 mile an hour pace. I’m not going to get more physically fit for the next seven days, but I will finish the 75 day challenge. Over training or not.
All I have to do to win the day is light exercise. Whether you are doing a true 75 Hard by doing 2 workouts a day, or modified like me, and doing only 1 workout a day, you can scale it back and make it light. Just hit your time marks. You can do this.
Day 66 of 75 Hard: What to do if you miss a goal
Apr 23, 2020
Today is day 66! Nine more days and a wake up and I’m done!
I missed yesterday for this blog. Not that big a deal, but I did miss a goal I set. Are there important goals? Goals that aren’t as important or you don’t care about.
I don’t believe in unimportant goals, even though I seem to set them all the time. But what happens when you miss?
All I know how to do is do it again. I missed this post yesterday, but luckily it is easy enough to do it today.
If you miss something on your 75 Hard journey you need to start again. I did my 5 things yesterday. If I didn’t I’d start again.
You aren’t through until you are dead. Time limits on goals are arbitrary limits that we impose on ourselves. If you aren’t dead, you can still achieve that goal. Just start again.
My life seems to be full of goals that I have to start again and again. I’m betting you are the same way.
You can either go forward and achieve that goal later then you had anticipated or you can give up. There really is only two choices.
Which choice will you make the next time you miss a deadline for one of your goals?
Day 63 of 75 Hard: Don’t Drop Your Pack
Apr 20, 2020
Don’t drop your pack was a saying from the Marine Corps. In the Marine Corps all our back packs had quick connect features that allow you to dump your pack in an emergency. It was a great feature that no one used.
Once you dumped your pack using the quick releases it was a time consuming pain to get the pack put back together so you could wear it again.
Marines use the quick release as an analogy more than anything else because it’s that hard to get the pack back together.
The analogy is at the end of a long hike (hump in Marine Corps jargon) you pull the quick release and let your pack drop because you are done. From experience doing anything more then 15 miles, dropping your pack is the best feeling you will ever have. But you have to do it by taking it off, not the quick releases.
In the Marine Corps work is never done. If you drop your pack with the quick releases you will not be able to put it back on and continue to move. Because no matter what anyone says, you aren’t really done with your pack until you are back at the barracks.
I never met the Marine, but the analogy goes, don’t drop your pack until you are done. When you can see the end, and you think you are there, you will want to pull those quick releases and let that pack full. But don’t do it before you are truly or done, or you will be sorry.
This is where I am in my 75 Hard journey. I’m almost there. I can see the finish line… but it’s no time to drop my pack. Even at the end, don’t use the quick releases or you will be sorry.
So I continue forward with my burden securely on my back. One step at a time. One day at a time.
What do you do when you can see the finish line?
Will you drop your pack in sight of the finish?
Will you cross the line and pull the quick releases?
Or will you finish strong, head held high, and enjoy the victory even with your burden still on your back?
Marines continue forward even after the finish line with their burdens. It isn’t done until it is done.
I will continue all the way through the 75 days, then I will think about taking off my pack.
Day 61 of 75 Hard: Shouting Into the Darkness
Apr 18, 2020
Ever feel like you are shouting into the darkness? That you don’t hear anything in return and you think that matters?
I feel like I’m shouting into the darkness on the web site. I’ve done this for over a year now and the numbers just keep going down.
Maybe not many people give a shit about making themselves better. I think I’m learning that the hard way.
Ever feel like you are the only one among your group of friends that has actually read a non-fiction book since school? Me too.
What I’m learning here, the hard way (again), is that it doesn’t matter.
If you shout into the darkness just because you want to hear you voice echoed back, what’s that make you? Something I don’t think I want to be.
I want to help people. I want to make the world a better place. I want to be a good Christian, Husband, Dad, Man, Citizen, Friend, and Human Being.
All of that has me shouting into the darkness to help others. If just one person is hearing me. If just one person is being made better by what I’m doing… then it should be worth it.
That humility pill gets hard to swallow sometimes. So here I am. Standing bloodied and battered, but still standing.
I will continue on with making myself better so that I can help the people around me and make the world a better place.
And if I have to shout into the darkness with no voice returning, then so be it.
Day 59 of 75 Hard: Make Good Days Happen
Apr 16, 2020
Today was a good day. I made it that way!
What about you? Did you make your day go one way or the other?
The famous motivational speaker Zig Ziglar used to ask the question in his seminars if you could do anything to ruin your life? Could you sleep around on your significant other? Could you rob a bank? Could you crash your car on purpose? Could you.. he had a long list of things that could ruin your day and your life. Everyone always laughed.
Then he would stop, clap his hands together and say, well if there are things you can do today to ruin your life, is there anything you could do to make your life better? Why not? You can do all these negative things, why can’t you do the opposite and make your life better?
I pose to you the same question only in a reference to a day. Could you do anything to ruin your day? Couldn’t you do the opposite to make your day great?
To ruin my day I could stay in bed hours after I should get up. I could ignore my todo list and just watch Netflix (without the chill part) and eat ice cream all day. I could skip my workout and ruin my 75 Hard Challenge. All of this would ruin my day. Most of it actually sounds fun: Sleeping in, “Netflix and chill”, eating a tub of ice cream, and being lazy all sound appealing on one level. But on the other hand…
Talk about ruining my day on the way to ruining my life. It would be a slow painful death. It might take decades but sooner or later too many of those days will destroy you.
So do the opposite. I got up with my alarm clock. I sat down and did my reading. Then I pulled out my Focus Planner wrote down 3 major things I was going to get done today. Then wrote my five things for my 75 Hard Challenge. Under that I wrote out my miscellaneous other tasks I wanted to get done today (including this post). On the other page I wrote out my goals for the year, quarter, month, and week. I do this everyday to keep everything in the top of my mind. Then I pounded a protein shake (to stay on my diet) and hit the road with a 50 (actually 47) pound pack for a 3 mile hike. I got home and got to work on my todo list.
This is how you have great days. Because I stayed on task I was able to get some extra things done and spend time with my wife and kid.
This is how I have a good day. How do you make your good days happen?
I had two good days back to back after going through a couple bad ones.
When you are in the hard times, it always feels like that is all there ever will be.
When the hard times are over and you are into the good ones, you just feel a relief to be through. So you don’t always enjoy the good times like you should.
I use to do that all the time. And I think the good times would just pass me on by and I would miss them. Now I’m stopping to look.
I had two good days in a row and I am going to call them great. I did Easter Sunday with the family and only did my 75 Hard Challenge and no other work.
Today I went back at it, and got things done with a vengeance. I had more then one obstacle, but I didn’t let it bother me.
I made today a good day by getting things done.
When you get things done you have a cense of accomplishment that brings you joy.
With my accomplishments, comes my joy. I did my list of todo’s like a crazy man and just kept working through two different problems that tried to derail me.
So, I’m doing well. Tomorrow I’m going to have another good day of getting things done and turn it into a great day.
What about you? Will you make tomorrow great? Will you just get through the bad days and then not enjoy the good?
How will you decide if today was a good day or a bad?
Today went easy… at first. Then got harder. I pulled my web site numbers and it’s painful to see everything keep going down.
Before I didn’t care really. It wasn’t about anything but something I loved to do. Now it’s about trying to make money. To make money I need an audience. Building that should be easy by creating content.
Well I’ve been creating more and more and getting less and less traffic. It sucks.
If you are reading this, obviously you got here somehow. And I really appreciate you for listening.
I will continue working on this site until at least the end of this 75 Hard and then I will see.
It’s demotivating. But I guess that is something I cannot control so I need to go forward with what I can.
I can control the people I interact with and the content I put out. So I will keep going until I’m finished.
Today was a good and hard day. I didn’t get everything I wanted to get done, done. My list of big three things fell away when my son flipped out about having to go for a walk with me this morning.
I finally got him calmed down and we decided he needed another form of exercise. And I think we found one…
We decided strong man style backyard training would be fun. So we went online and ordered a tone of stuff from the local Lowe’s.
I got 300 pounds of sand and a bunch of 2×4’s and plywood. We are going to fill sandbags (which I have a bunch of as preps) with different weights. I’m going to create a couple 10, 15, 20, 25, and 50 pound bags for us to use. It should be a blast.
Then we are going to build a couple movable walls of different heights to toss the bags over.
If nothing else it will be a fun building project we can do. He already got a workout trying to move 300 pounds of sand (in 50 pound bags) with a wheel barrel into the back yard. Then carrying lumber is always hard work too. I had fun. Him, a little less. He gets aggravated that he can’t do as much as me. I’m 6’2″ 330 pounds and have been lifting for the last couple years. He is 10, 5’2″ and about 115 pounds wet. So he has some work to do to catch me.
This seems like a great start. We needed a project and something to work out together with. This should do it!
I got the five things for my 75 Hard done pretty easily and will be building with my son tomorrow.
Setting everything up took way more time then I thought and I didn’t get to film some videos like was on my list. I’ll just have to get that tomorrow.
I’m through the funk I had the last couple days and pushing forward.
I think part of my funk is wait loss. A lot of horrible stuff you eat over the years gets stored in your fat deposits. And as you burn those fat stores it releases all of the stuff back into your system.
I don’t know the science behind that, but read it in a couple different places. It was on the internet… I’m sure it must be true!
In reality I have no way to check the above one way or the other. But because it is beneficial to me and not hurting anyone I’m going to believe it.
Next time I get into a depression funk while I’m losing weight I know that it is something from years ago coming back to haunt me. I’ll take my lumps like a man and push through.
The most important thing is that I know it will end. And I know the why behind it.
If you have a why and a timeline for an ending you can endure anything.
Back in the Marine Corps we use to have officers and NCO’s (Non-Commissioned Officers, like Sergeants and Gunny’s) take us for runs at a fast pace without any information about the length or pace or the run. It was hard going after the first mile or so. At the time most of us could run 10 miles without stopping at a pretty good pace. But their was one Sergeant and one Major that could run marathons at almost an Olympic pace. There was no way I could keep up for more then a couple miles at their 6 minute mile pace.
So I would just dig in and try to suck it up. Run through the pain and the unknowing for as long as possible. On those runs more of my Marines fell out then any other. Not because they couldn’t make it physically, it was because they would drop out mentally. Where the mind goes, the body follows.
For me the depression is that run I don’t know how long or fast it is. So I fall out mentally long before my physical body is ready to quit.
Now that I have the cause and a timeline, I know how long the run is at what pace and I know I can push through.
The 75 Hard Challenge keeps reminding me of lessons I learned on battlefields long ago. I continue to learn these lessons over and over again.
I hope you are faster on the learning cycle then me and don’t have to repeat as many lessons. If you are doing the 75 Hard and forgot any important life lessons, it will remind you.
Today is just another day… but not. Today is the first day I wanted to quit.
I was bored this morning with the challenge and feel I have so much else to do in life right now that I was thinking of throwing in the towel. But I pushed forward.
Now here I site in front of a computer wanted to quit again…
I think the depression monster isn’t far behind. Which sucks even more then quitting!
So I’m pushing forward. And simply writing what is on my mind right now. I don’t know what else to do at this point besides push forward.
Stress from this virus is everywhere. My kid had a panic attack (I think from it) tonight and could only explain that he was scared. Not of what or who, was embarrassed about it because he knows there is nothing to be afraid of, but can’t calm himself down.
That breaks my heart and makes we want to quit too. Life seems to be conspiring against me today.
I could sit here and just give in. Go grab some ice cream, not post this and never come back. It would be easy, but it would throw away everything. And it isn’t what I want to show my son… so you know what!
Fuck this stupid wanting to quit. Fuck sitting down and doing nothing. Fuck crying into some ice cream. That is for quitters and others. I want to do great things. I want to make a company I’m proud of and that can support my family. I want to be the leader my family needs right now.
So fuck all this quitting. Fuck all this Covid-19 bull shit that is everywhere and fuck anyone or anything that gets in my way. I’m going through this.
This turned into a pep talk for myself. But sometimes I just have to motivate myself. And sometimes that’s using language unsuitable for mixed company. Because sometimes I just have to slap the quit out of myself.
So I’m not quitting.
How about you? Have you given up? Will you give up? Can you slap yourself verbally to get yourself back into the fight?
I am and hopefully I’m here to give you some motivation.
Slap yourself figuratively, verbally, or literally if you have to, but don’t ever give up.
That giving up shit is for losers. I know you aren’t a loser and neither am I.
Today I sent most of the day answering emails and doing a little work. My wife woke up and declared it a day off. And I sort of went with it.
Now I’m doing some work at night. I did get some really important things done and talked to a couple people that really needed help. It was emotionally hard, but I was able to help a couple people. And that was worth it.
I’m finishing up my 75 Hard five things right now. I have this post and a bottle of water to drink. It’s hard to drink the water if you don’t get a jump on it in the morning! So I’m sure I will have to get up and go to the bathroom during the night. But that is a small price to pay.
How are you doing with all the virus stuff? Is everything going well or is it hard?
Just wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing.
I continue to move forward. Things in my business are taking way longer then I want them to. But I guess that is the first three rules of business playing out: It will take twice as long you think, cost twice as much as you think, and everyone thinks they are the exception to the rule. I’m not the exception.
So I keep plugging along. I’m starting to worry about the hole ball out thing. Will I get any money from it? I guess I shouldn’t bet on it. That just means I need to get to work harder on my side business to start making some money. I might publish a guid on how to do 75 Hard. Wonder if anyone would buy it?
I continue to move forward with the challenge. Today is Day 45 and I got everything done. I’m am getting excited about my weight because I am down over 25 pounds from my highest and exactly 19 pounds since day 1. That puts me at an obese 328.6. But it’s going the right way. It took me over a decade to get this big and will take time to get back to normal. So I’m optimistic about being where I was a couple years ago under 330. I will continue forward. The diet is working… all be it slowly.
The walking has gotten easy and boring. So in true Marine Corps fashion I found an Alice pack from back in the day. Filled it with a steel plate and other crap and it weighs in at 47 pounds. I did my first walk yesterday of 3 miles with that on. Tomorrow I will do the same thing. I’m just trying to make it a little harder on myself.
Going through voluntary hardship is a good way to be able to conquer anything when it comes. The Covid-19 Virus and staying at home is nothing for me. Just a little more discipline about wiping down surfaces, staying away from people, and washing my hands. I can take care of that easy.
Some of my friends can’t take it. They keep going to the store with their families saying it’s a necessity. Some how I figured out how to get food and other things delivered to me.
If you are going through this challenge I hope you have enough discipline, will power, and respect to stay at home. Some of you in the medical field, law enforcement, and a bunch of essential fields (like power generation, garbage, and sewage) have to go out. And I admire you for putting yourself and family at risk for the rest of us. The rest of the people I see are going to contribute to the numbers of dead.
I can only control what I can control. I keep talking to my friends and helping them get set up with food delivery places. You can bet I’ll be staying away from them.
Is this time in life hard for you, or have you adjusted easily? Are you staying home and taking care of your family as much as possible or are you out and about contributing to the spread of the virus? Are you continuing the 75 Hard while this is going on?
Today was a good day. I pushed through my 75 Hard even though I had depression try and take me out after a morning bike ride. That wasn’t fun. It hit like a wave of grief and then pushed me into a dark place in my mind.
I think it’s because I got a schedule and I am ready to work on good things for my business. It’s the resistance trying to stop me from doing great things.
In Steven Pressfield’s great book “The War on Art” the resistance is a universal force that will always work against you when you are trying to level up my life. I’m trying to level up big time right now by making my side hustles into me real job. So I should have seen the Resistance coming.
I thought I had met the resistance and pushed through when it tried to get me to procrastinate. Wow, I was wrong. But I pushed through that to get on a schedule. And now the resistance changed tactics and went after me another way.
Well I’ve learned to overcome that crap with the 75 Hard Challenge. I’ve learned to keep going even when acted upon by an outside force. I’ve learned that I can keep going even when the world seems against me. There are times I’ve felt that way through these challenges. I just refuse to give in.
That’s what you can learn if you do a 75 Hard Challenge. Do the original challenge. It’s simple. Do these 5 things everyday without fail:
Read 10 Pages of a Business or Self Help Book
Do 2 Workouts a Day (at least 45 min each and one has to be outside)
Drink a Gallon of Water
Stay on a Perfect Diet of your choice
Take a Progress Picture
All that is really easy to look at. And it isn’t too hard to do for a couple days. But if you do it for 75 days, I guarantee you will run into the resistance. Something will happen. Some of the challenges I’ve faced during my challenges: My wife had to go to the emergency room, I had surgery, I lost my job, My kid got sick, and now the entire world has the Covid-19 hysteria.
It is long past the time that I ask what could go wrong next… so I don’t. I don’t want to know. I’ll take it as it comes. One thing at a time. One day at a time. I will win the day.
If you can finish the challenge you will be a better person. Can you do it? Can you do it for 75 days? And don’t wait for the stupid virus to be gone. Do it now. Seize the day and this opportunity you have!
This has been a hard week. Yesterday I needed to put up content for my other side hustle… so I missed a post here. Didn’t think you would mind.
I’m still here. I’m still working hard at the 75 Hard Challenge. And I’m going to finish it.
I got laid off last week and now I’m working for myself. I’m a hard person to work for it seems.
I’ve been working harder this week then in the last 4 months for my other job. And I made half what I did on the other job… That is as soon as my customer pays me for the web work. Check it out SparksFirearmsTX.com. I built what the customer wanted. And I think it looks pretty good.
I thought it would take 2 days. It took me almost 6. I thought I could use all the tools I already had… I needed to buy $150 worth of software (that I billed back to the customer). So many oops on the front side.
And then I wanted to make the project perfect. I would have liked to have it better, but ran out of time and energy. The customer was more needing it right now then perfect.
So now I look for my next project to work that hard on. The next one I’ll bid much better. That size project will be 2 weeks and pay as such.
I’m finishing off my things tonight. I have one more project that I promised to my other business partner to finish after this. But that shouldn’t take that long.
I just have to keep working to keep my boss happy!
Things are going in the right direction. I’m working hard. Harder now then when I was employed. Trying to get a side hustle project done and taught a private firearms class today.
When you are self employed your boss is a slave driver. It’s really the only way to get things done.
Now I’m just tired. And truthfully I almost forgot to do this post. I had everything else done for the 75 Hard Challenge today. I thought I had everything done and then went through my daily list to check things off and noticed that this wasn’t done yet.
It just shows the importance of a system. Do you have systems set up in your life to do the important things? Or do you just try and remember everything?
I can’t remember anything. I have to write everything down. More important I need to systematize how I do things. If I create that system, everything gets done.
Systems have always come easy to me. And I really don’t understand why other people don’t set up their own systems to get everything done.
I’m learning right now that my systems matter. I will have to keep my systems going or my life will fail. Talk about learning things the hard way! But after this I’m going to set up a system of how I do things when so that I can get more work done on my side hustles and make money for my family.
Necessity truly is the mother of all invention.
What about you? What systems are you using to get your 75 Hard done?
Today was the end of my job. Guys from my old work came and picked up my company truck, computer, and other gear. I’m just out…
I even have people from work calling and still asking me questions. Makes it hard to move on when I have to explain to everyone individually.
Life goes on. And my challenge continues.
I keep going forward. This is a small win for me everyday. Even on days like today. I picked up a side hustle building a web site for an old employer. I way underbid the job for the amount of work there is, but I’ll survive.
I stopped working on the design work and inputting data to do my challenge. The web site will be there tomorrow. Hopefully I finish tomorrow and then be on to my next project. All I have to do is find one.
I will continue my 75 Hard and looking for work. I’m not desperate yet, but the virus is making it hard. Tomorrow the county I live in is doing a full lock down. We will see how that goes with me trying to find work.
How about you? Are you continuing your extra challenge as times are hard or are you letting it go for something easier. American and the World will get through this virus just like all the others in the past.
But will you come out the other side better and stronger for the ordeal? Or did you just survive it. When you tell your kinds about what happened in these last months, will you tell them you just hid? Or will you tell them about how you where doing an extra challenge to make sure you where better for the experience.
I’m looking to the future and the stories I want to tell my kid and my grand kids.
Well some days just kick you in the balls. Yesterday was one of those days.
I started my work day with my boss calling me to inform me I’m no longer needed. He was laying me off as of that moment. I felt like I had a lot of things to finish and he gave me one more hour of pay and access to my accounts to wrap things up. And I did.
Now with Covid-19 and everything else that’s going on, getting a job any time soon seems impossible. Thank you life.
I knew this would be coming, but thought it would take another couple months at least and that we would be through the pandemic if nothing else.
So much for hopes…
But there is still a constant thing that is keeping me going, this challenge. It keeps me getting up on time to get things done. It keeps me going out the door for walks a couple times a day. It keeps me writing and working on content. It keeps me practicing my shooting skills. So hopefully when all this is said and done I will be a better person.
Being laid off is just an extra challenge in life. I’m choosing to look at this as a challenge and not just a hard time to get through. Getting through crap was what I use to do. I’m a survivor. And was proud of that. But now I want to thrive. Screw just surviving I want something more.
Winners go at challenges with an attitude to attack the problem and come out better on the other side. That’s what I’m looking for. I polished up my resume and have it out. I’m working with a head hunter and might talk to a couple more. I’m trying to get a job with Amazon as a stop gap. I won’t let this ruin me, my family, or my life. I just have to attack this with enthusiasm and grit.
I’m learning the grit part here. Doing these 75 Hard Challenges is giving me the grit to dig in, do some crummy work that I don’t want right now (I signed up to deliver for Favor and Uber Eats) so that I can build going out the other side.
As this virus passes I want to be ready to go to work and create a better job for me and my family.
The 75 Hard Challenge is letting me have a little win every day. No matter how bad everything gets, I will win the day.
I’m still going like the Energizer Bunny. Right now I’m into the easy phase of the challenge. I’ve gotten the grove going and now it feels like something I can do.
I know from past challenges that it is fixing to get hard again. There is a lull before the storm always. And if we prepare for those ruff times, the ruff times will be easier to navigate.
I’m learning to keep going, hang onto what is happening now, and enjoy the present. But also looking back for the pride of who I have become. Not just in the last 30 days, but in my entire life.
If you are like me, I’ve accomplished some cool stuff. I don’t really think it was cool until I had someone else tell me I’ve lived a pretty exciting life. I bet you would feel the same way if someone else told you your life story as their own.
In the rare case you haven’t done anything yet. I say rare, because we’ve all accomplished something to be proud of. Even my 10 year old son has a YouTube channel where he records, edits, and posts all his own stuff. He likes to film himself playing video games because that is what he like to watch. You can find his channel here. A lot of his friends think it’s pretty cool just to be able to watch him on Youtube.
If you think you haven’t done anything, ask someone that knows you. They will tell you why your life is cool and what you’ve accomplished.
While we look back with pride, we should also look forward with an eye on the horizon. We should see and welcome the challenges coming and be prepared for them.
Life is all about change. Nothing stays the same.
Look back at what you have accomplished and find the pride in yourself.
Enjoy this moment right now for it truly is the present… and a gift that should be enjoyed.
Look up and see what is coming. Enjoy the challenges a head and prepare for them.
My life is going to change because of the oil prices. If they don’t rebound my company will be out of business and I will be out a job. I’m hopeful, but realistically there will be no bounce in oil prices any time soon.
So my life will change. But today I still had work to do that didn’t happen.
My work truck decided it was going no where. Exhaust problem on a new diesel engine throws the vehicle in power default mode. Enough to get you off the road, but not enough power to go anywhere.
I spent two hours trying to clear the codes and working on it to no success. Then spent another hour on a Sunday trying to get a rental truck to do the job. Didn’t happen. No one that rents the style truck I need is open on Sunday. So I reserved one for tomorrow and was done with work for the day.
I got some personal stuff done, but it felt like a waist of a day because my major thing for work couldn’t happen.
These are the days I love the 75 Hard. It gives a direction and a way to go. If it wasn’t for 75 Hard I would have just sat around and done nothing.
With the 75 Hard Challenge I had a little push and was able to get things done without feeling like a total waist of a day. It pushed me forward when I wanted to stop. This challenges motivates me!
How about you? What motivates you? What makes you want to push forward when you don’t have to and don’t feel like it?
I got most of my stuff done early and made it through the day. Work is still not cooperating with oil prices down, but I’m down 2 more pounds this week.
I’m going after those things I can control. What about you.
Doing the 75 Hard I get a win every day. No matter what the boss does or doesn’t do. No matter what happens at work or in life, I will still win the day.
I think that’s what I really need in life is those small wins.
What about you? Do you win the day consistently?
I’m starting to learn what it means to win every day and really enjoying it. I’m slipping into a grove that will work well for another couple days. The end of this upcoming week I’ll have to travel for work and that could make it more difficult.
Working on day 24! Almost done. I’ve started to get into a groove and have been walking and making phone calls to get my steps in. And that seems to be working.
Right now I’m stressing about my real job. I work in the oil field and oil prices hit rock bottom, again, on Monday. My company is trying to get a head of it and stop everything non essential to see what happens with our customers.
So I’m nervous about what will happen. My stable job just became unstable. Thank you Saudi Arabia… again. I’m not sure they like the American Oil Industry.
But i’m working on something else. The plus side with this challenge is that I still have a little win I can do everyday. I do my five things for my challenge and then can go to bed knowing that I accomplished something.
I have a little win. I can control something in my life. And not just how I react to things. I can make things happen. It seems to be the thing to chose how you react to how life treats you. I chose to react with action. I am doing something and taking control of my life.
How about you?
Do you control your life or let people control it? Your job? Your boss? Your family? Others will always try and control your life. Some will be trying to help you and others will be trying to exploit you. Doesn’t matter, it’s all the same. Once you figure out that you can control you, then major things will just be a turning point in your life.
Who controls you?
Get control back! It starts with sinning the 75 Hard. Start today if you haven’t. If you are already into it, keep going! You will be a better person on the other side.
I’m learning that the hard way today. I enjoyed work and gave it my best all day. I got a tone done… but didn’t get all the things I wanted to get done personally. I did over 8 hours of work and busted my tail.
But I should have stopped somewhere and taken more care of me and what I needed to get done.
I got up early today. Went to the gym. Got to work on time and worked straight through. I took a couple minutes for lunch and no other breaks or interruptions.
Which means I didn’t get my podcast for my other side hustle done. I need to give my best to myself and my family and the rest to my J O B . That is sometimes great to me and other times worries the crap out of me.
I do my best work when I get up early, read, then go to the gym, get home and get to work. I spent 8 hours today doing that. It was great to get a lot done at work, but upsetting that I didn’t get my podcast done.
I have to figure out all the things. And do things for me, my family, and my job. Letting one go for the others is sometimes necessary, but shouldn’t be a normal thing. Especially if the one that always gets more is your job.
My wife and I were talking about me looking for a different job that would have me traveling more. Which I’m good with, but she doesn’t like the idea as much. My plan would be to be gone and that would be the season of work. Then be home and have a season of family time. I think it might work…
But here is the rub with all of these “self-help” how-to’s… you actually have to set a time limit and go all in for that time to try something.
Right now me and the wife are doing 75 Hard and using the Slow Carb Diet. She isn’t liking it right now because it’s not giving her the weight loss she wants. She is actually ready to throw in the towel and try something else after 22 days. I suggested that we both stay with it until the end of 75 days. She agreed… for now.
We set a time to try something and see if it works, helps, is better or worse. I set these 75 day challenges to find out. During my first 75 Hard I found out that when I read a real book every morning it makes my days better and my life a little better. It actually takes a couple weeks but once it’s going, I feel better and have better days. So you know what? I keep doing that.
One of the books I finished during my morning reading said you should track your time categories so you can work on what truly matters and cut out other things. Budget your time better. Well I tried it for 68 days in my 2nd challenge (the one that I didn’t finish) and I had 68 days of graphs, lines, data entries, and information that didn’t help me and I didn’t really care about. The only thing that was mildly amusing was that I tracked everything including intimate time with my wife. I thought about using the actually stats to say I told you so… but I decided that being married was more fun when my wife is happy, so I just buried that little fact.
Didn’t help me at all. So I cut it and won’t be doing it again.
This round I’m trying something different again. I now from the first round that the slow diet works so I kept that.
I know from round 3 that when I post content and work on my side hustle better things happen for me… so this round I kept that.
I know that drinking water is way better for you then anything else so I drink a gallon of water a day. Kept that from the first 75 Hard Challenge. It keeps me from drinking other crap that’s bad for me. Drink a gallon of water tomorrow and see how much other stuff you want to drink. I dare you!
Years ago when I wanted to win at shooting sports, I practiced everyday. And I got so much better that I took top shop at my police academy and was constantly second top shooter in my Marine Corps unit for years. So this round I’m working on the shooting sports again and have been practicing every day.
Last I’m trying something new. I listen the Dave Jackson and the Logical Weight Loss Podcast. He talks about every time he gets his 10,000 steps in, drinks water, and gets sleep he does way better. Since it’s the 75 Hard Challenge I upped that to 12,500 steps a day.
All of these things haven’t worked yet. But I’m pretty confident that they will. If they don’t; I’ll go back and try something else. It’s only 75 days/10.5 weeks/or 2.5 months. It isn’t a lot of time when you look at your life. And those 75 days are going to pass whether you are making yourself better or worse. You might as well go for better.
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