372 Pages We'll Never Get Back

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280 Mysteries Ep 18 – The Case of the Stolen Confederate Stamps Jan 09, 2026

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Listen to the whole 280 Mysteries archive, that’s over 40 episodes, on our Patreon! patreon.com/372pages

Mike and Conor almost wanted to recuse themselves from this particular Encyclopedia Brown mystery because they both have stolen a LOT of Confederate stamps. Like, a lot. The Feds, Interpol, many organizations are seeking them out. Still, they came out of hiding to present you with this ep.

372 Pages #199 – Owl Be Home for Christmas – Ep 2 – O Little Town of DEATH-lehem! Dec 29, 2025

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How still we see thee DIE! Above thy CREEP (ahem Sharnek) and dreamless sleep the silent Scrumptious Scotch BARS go by. Yet in thy dark streets DIE-eth the everlasting FIGHT (with the suspect); the hopes and fears of all the BEERS (which are presumably served at the shady bar next to where Holly the professional dogwalker lives) are met in thee tonight.

You get the point. This Cozy Christmas Murder ain’t goin’ anywhere we didn’t expect it to. Although! I have many questions about Owl Protective Services that aren’t addressed in the book. (Please email me, michael j nelson, separately and we can enter into a discussion.)

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372 Pages #198 – Owl Be Home for Christmas – Ep 1 – Julius Pringle Put Cherries in His Wife’s Christmas Cake, Obviously!! Dec 17, 2025

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Ok, let’s tally up the cozy: Christmas beanies. Hot chocolate. Candy canes. Matching sweaters with cute doggo. Sentient owl. Butts. Poop. Murdered senior — all right, look! Maybe it’s not all cozy! Still, this is Full Fork, so I expect they will back up the cozy truck before too long.

As it is, the Real or Fanfic somehow doesn’t work out that well for Mike, however Dumb Sentences of the Week seem to right the ship. You be the judge.

Also, here is Ein the Corgi licking yogurt off the back of a spoon

Get the book here and then for next time, finish said book

280 Mysteries Ep 17 – The Case of the Hard Luck Boy Dec 10, 2025

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Obviously you’re all thinking, “Donald Sobel wrote an Encyclopedia Brown Mystery about the 1993 Georgia Satellites song?! Weird. But very intriguing!” Sadly, no. This was written eight years prior to its release. The solution is utter madness.

372 Pages #197 – 2025 Cozy Book Buffet Dec 04, 2025

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We went over some of the thousands and thousands of cozy mysteries out there before deciding on OWL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS as our 2025 cozy. Revisit the contenders!

Assignment: Read thru Chapter 8

372 Pages #196 – Deception Point Ep 4 – Corky Coats Himself in His Own WHAT?!* Nov 25, 2025

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Support the podcast on Patreon, where you can hear our latest 280 Mysteries with special guest Dan Deacon, and be the first to learn what book is next! https://patreon.com/372pages

This is it, the final episode of Dan Brown’s Deception Point, a book so dumb it raises (lowers?) the level at which a 372 book can be labelled as “dumb.” It’s entire galaxies of dumb-ness. The list of things dumber than it is very small. Dumb and Dumber contains less than a third of the dumbness as this book. There was a lot to talk about here, not the least of which is the “gorge of teeth” that came at one of the Delta sisters (I assume they were a trio of dancing triplets, the book never explicitly says.)

*”Prize-winning astrophysicist Corky Marlinson….Corky Marlinson was as brilliant and respected as they came… Marlinson’s ideas on gravitational fields were legendary among NRO satellite engineers.”

280 Mysteries Ep 16 – The Case of the Wounded Dog Oct 31, 2025

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Pigs are stolen. Gooses killed, gutted, de-feathered, roasted over spits and eaten by drifters. And, evidently, dogs are wounded. Idaville’s an odd place.

Can Mike crack the case?!

Listen to the complete 280 Mysteries archive on our Patreon! patreon.com/372pages

372 Pages #195 – Deception Point Ep 3 – Conor Admits to Performing Rocket Man! Oct 24, 2025

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Find out how this book compares to the works of Tolstoy, Virginia Woolf and Rush. And while you’re at it, follow the exploits of Hot Sexton and her father Senator Sexton Sedgewick. Does triple PhD Dr. Marlinson get his tongue caught in an old timey clothes wringer?! You’ll have to listen to find out. Track Mike’s results on Real or Fanfic and get a load of the Dumb Sentences of the Week.

280 Mysteries Ep 15 – The Case of the Missing Watch Goose Oct 17, 2025

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Listen to the complete 280 Mysteries archive, including our brand new episode with Joel McHale, only on the 372 Pages Patreon! https://patreon.com/372pages

Watch goose* is a thing, everyone. Seriously. We don’t like it anymore than you do, but it’s a thing. Mike tries to crack the case.

*”Guard goose” would also be an accepted term.

372 Pages #194 – Deception Point Ep 2 – Ice Bullets, Snifters and Puggish Smiles! Oct 10, 2025

Show notes

Support the podcast on Patreon where you can hear our latest 280 Mysteries episode with special guest JOEL MCHALE! patreon.com/372pages

Courvoisier-sipping senator Sedgewick Sexton; the hideous, grotesque, smoke-spewing, long-limbed inhuman creature Marjorie Tench; and Deltas One, Two and Three are just a few of the characters discussed in this episode. So much happens. So many words are misused. So many editors went un-hired. It’s a wonder we could fit in Real or Fanfic as well as Dumb Sentences of the Week.

READING ASSIGNMENT: Read through Chapter 100. If you dare!

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