Gay Like Me Podcast With Derek J

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Latest Episodes:

Black, LGBTQ and the Church Aug 10, 2020

In this episode, Derek and Craig are joined by a panel to talk about being black and a part of the LGBTQ community and religion. Derek shares his spiritual journey of coming out as gay in the church and they negatively reacted, and how he got through that.

Some more important topics of this episode are: Demonizing homosexuality, LGBT+ youth mental health, why is homosexuality being considered a sin, and religion and tradition.

Remember it's okay to be who you are, just love God, trust God.

Silence the Shame - Mental Illness Aug 03, 2020

In this episode, Derek and Craig are joined by a panel of different people who share their stories about their mental health struggles, along with two mental health professionals. The panel consists of people that had struggled on their mental health at some point in their lives.

Some key topics of this discussion is being in a functional depression, mental health therapist, childhood traumas, being black and gay, how to recognize mental illnesses, and how to take care of our mind.

If you’re looking for advice for forgiveness, how to handle stress, and more about mental health journeys, this is a great episode for you. Let’s stop out casting people and let’s come from a place of inclusivity so that we can help one another thrive and be the people that we’re supposed to be.

Email Address: glmconvo@gmail.com

Website: www.silencetheshame.com

Owning And Turning Up The Volume On Every Part Of His Trans Journey with Marquise Vilson Jun 29, 2020

In this episode Derek is joined by Marquise Vilson to talk about topics about Trans Men, the Black LGBTQ Community and the Black Lives Matter Movement.

This conversation helps us learn a little bit of the language of the Trans people. They also talk about some sensitive topics that are really relevant to these days. He shares his journey transitioning mentally and physically and medically.

He speaks about being confident as a black trans man. It’s important to own every and all parts of who you are, because those things are what can give you opportunities in life.

After this episode you'll understand more of: female to male transition, the black lives matter movement from black men's perspective, the black lives matter movement relationship with the LGBQT+ community, and more!

Focusing On Our Similarities Instead of Our Differences With Patrick L. Riley Jun 19, 2020

In this episode, Derek is joined by his friend Patrick L. Riley to share his story. Patrick is a writer, a producer and a personality. In this conversation, Patrick tells us that there is nothing impossible as long as you find your way to keep going.

Patrick talks about proving his blackness along with being gay. It was a lonely space for him going through his high school and middle school years trying to find himself. He came out at 25, and he shares his experience of the first person he came out to and being rejected.

They also speak about the LGBTQ+ Movement being segregated, his experience with the Oprah Show, his book, and self-love!

Being Fearless In Abandoning Societies Expectations with Miss Lawrence Jun 15, 2020

When did he know he was gay? What was the coming out experience like? In this podcast, Derek is joined with Miss Lawrence to share their story.

Fearless, creative and love- that’s three words Miss Lawrence would use to describe themself. Throughout this episode they speak on important topics like not adhering to what society thinks you should act like and knowing you can’t control how anybody else feels and you can’t control what they think or how they respond to who you are.

Miss Lawrence also has a love for music and shares how they were introduced to music. There’s also always been an admiration for hair and makeup, they share the journey of becoming a 6 figure hairstylist at the age of 23!

They recently released a song titled “Say Her Name” and explains the inspiration for writing that song, and how impactful the power of a woman is! Loving yourself 100% is so important because loving yourself isn’t just about loving the good things about you, it’s also about loving your flaws.

Accepting People The Way They Are, An Intimate Chat With My Grandmother Jun 08, 2020

In this episode Derek talks to his grandmother to share her story. She shares what her life was like growing up, and then getting older and having children.

They chat about how as you become an adult you understand and appreciate the stuff that happened at the time that you didn’t understand. Along with that they talked about how important family is, church, and acceptance.

Derek J and his grandmother talk about her views on him being gay. She shares really powerful words that can be used to give kindness to everyone by accepting them.

One huge lesson you can learn from Derek’s grandmother is that you don't have to understand, you just have to accept.

The Experience Of Being Gay And Being On Television with Misster Ray Jun 01, 2020

In this podcast, Derek is joined by Ray Cunningham, a.k.a. Misster Ray, to share his story being gay and on television.

Ray comes from Virginia in a very conservative black family. Being gay before wasn’t like what it is now, so he left for L.A. to pursue some dreams in television. He shares how Ray from College Hill and Missterray from Love and Hip hop are two totally different people because it was at totally different times of his life.

Other helpful topics like getting thick skin, representation of masculine gay men, self-love, his battle with alopecia, and more are all discussed in this week’s interview with Ray Cunningham.

https://www.instagram.com/missterray/?hl=en

The Divide Between Gays And Lesbians May 25, 2020

In this episode of Gay Like Me, Derek and a group of friends talk about the divide between lesbians and gay men.

They talk about why studs and certain gay men have issues with each other. Another issues they talk about is gay or straight, men should be gentlemen.

Even though some things are getting better, there are a lot of separations. Everybody’s doing their own thing. The competition should stop. They all have the same struggle of being gay. They explain that if you allow yourself to understand that we’re all in this together we'll be in a better place.

Take this time to think about how we’re going to do it differently.

The Unspoken Dating Rule: No Fats, No Fems May 18, 2020

In this episode of Gay Like Me, Derek J and Craig are joined by several guest participants about being fat, being feminine and dating.

They discuss topics like the unspoken dating rule, Big Boy Pride, the need for more mental health in the black gay community in Atlanta, biases, preferences, discriminations, and relationships in the gay community

They also talk about femininity and masculinity, and how it doesn’t always align with sexual preferences or sexual desire, and is very different across cultures. The beauty about the gay community is that it’s colorful. Even in the masculinity and femininity side of the house there’s room for everyone that fit.

At the end of the day you have to be comfortable with who you are and how you see yourself. The people who are suppose to show up will. All you can do is being yourself and that’s really what’s most important. Once we get comfortable with whom we are, and we know who we are we are able to move on to life and navigate it beautifully.

Gay Like e email address: glmconvo@gmail.com

Big Boy Pride Website: www.bigboypride.com

When EXTRA Is Your Middle Name with Paris Chea May 11, 2020

This episode is going to be an interesting episode because normally this is a podcast for the LGBTQ people of color, but this week his guest is Paris Chae. A (non-person of color) friend of Derek's for more than a decade.

Paris discusses different topics like coming out, how he started to identify himself, getting into labels and fashion, and his parents reactions to being gay and wearing women's clothing and makeup.

Growing up in a mix race environment, the people that meant the most to him in his life besides her mother and father were black. He never really hang out with anybody that wasn’t black.

Derek asks Paris deep question about his past and current misunderstanding, rumors, and controveries! Paris answers hot questions like "Do you look in the mirror and love yourself 100%?" "Do you scam for your things?" and "How would you describe yourself in three words" and today's episode is ended by his advice to his younger self!

https://www.instagram.com/parischea/

Ts Madison Spills The Tea On Her Journey As Trans LIVE - PART 2 May 04, 2020

This week, Derek was with Ts Madison who is an American entertainer and entrepreneur.

When she was young, she did not know what she was dealing with because she was raised in the church. It was a mental and spiritual struggle. She always felt that she’s two spirited, both man and woman. She just wanted to look more like how she felt on the inside. She loves women but she never wanted to be a woman. She’s just somewhere in the middle.

She walked away from her family because she realized she's more important than anything else. Once realizing she wasn't going to get anywhere with her family after they condemned her, all she wanted to do was get away so she can focus on who she really is.

She had a point in her life where she thought of sexual reassignment surgery because there was no guidance. However, she decided that she did not need it. Ts Madison is stressing to everyone to not compare your journey to anyone elses. Sometimes when we say that our self-esteem is there, it really isn’t.

You might be putting seeds in the ground five years back and that tree might not sprout until 5 years later, it could be 10, 15, 25 years, but when that tree pops up it’s going to be fruitful.

Go Follow Derek J on instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/derekjhair/

Go follow and learn more about Ts Madison on instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/therealtsmadison/

Ts Madison Spills The Tea On Her Journey As Trans Live - PART 1 Apr 27, 2020

**PLEASE NOTE in this episode explicit language is used, please listen at your own risk**

In part 1 of this two part series, Derek is joined by Ts Madison to discuss her journey as a Trans. She starts by thanking Derek for her mainstream growth. She wants people to understand first that all she is going to say here is her own perspective and experience. She is only one of the voices and is not speaking for the entire community.

Ts Madison opens up about when she was young she did not know what she was dealing with because she was raised in the church. For a long time she thought it was a demon because she was taught that it’s a demon and it’s evil. It was a mental and spiritual struggle for a long time.

She always felt that she’s two spirited, man and woman. She just always wanted to look more like how she felt on the inside. The first person that she saw as a slight representation of her was Ru Paul but when she first really knew what she was, was when she watched "The Crying Game."

Some people still want to be stupid and be resistant to someone else’s identity because they don’t understand it.

She loves women but she never wanted to be a woman. She’s just knew she wanted to be somewhere in the middle. She walked away from her family because she’s more important than anything else. She’s not going to get any answer from her family, they already condemned her. Her goal was to get away so she could uncover who she truly was. Ts Madison reminds us you have to be willing to get lost to find yourself.

She had a point in her life where she thought of sexual reassignment surgery because there was no guidance. However, she decided that she did not need it. She feel like her genitalia has kept her grounded with God.

Transwomen make mistakes when you start looking at other transwomen and start going overboard. Sometimes when we say that our self-esteem is there, it isn’t there. She thought of having more surgery but she looked at the mirror and told herself to change her focus.

The job market has always been discriminatory against things they don’t understand. She’s always been prone to working and used to look down on sex workers but she learned a valuable lesson when she started losing her jobs and sex work was her only bread and butter.

She got sick of silicone poisoning because she was so determined to keep her man.

When Ts Madison moved to Atlanta, she was determined because she had nothing then. She was given a camera and got some help building a website and thats when her business was born as her videos started becoming viral and a 6 second video that she never thought would change her life.

She’s now keeping her clothes on and it’s because of the kids. She is now hustling in a different way. She wants everyone listening to understand you might be putting seeds in the ground 5 years back and that tree might not sprout until 5 years later, it may be 10, 15, 25 yrs but when that tree does pop up, it’s going to be fruitful.

She loves herself 100% and encourages each one of us to have the willingness to do the same.

Follow more of Ts Madison on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/therealtsmadison/

Watch this interview LIVE on Youtube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LARu44EpUkM

The Don't Ask, Don't Tell Perspective With Stevon Taylor Apr 20, 2020

This week, Derek is joined by his cousin Stevon Taylor who is a forensic microbiologist. He describes himself as humble, introvert and goofy. He first knew he was different around 3rd grade but didn't mention his sexuality publicly until the age of 21, when his mother approached him about his sexuality and she was very accepting.

Stevon invites us to consider a very different perspective as he has never felt it to be necessary to tell his siblings about his sexuality because it won’t change anything about their relationship. He also hasn't told friends, co-workers, or people around him, always living by a "don't ask, don't tell" standard.

Stevon opens up about sheltering himself growing up but how he really never felt lonely. He feels at times It’s been more difficult for him being black than being gay. Being black and gay and a scientist has had its barriers but Stevon feels the most difficult of them all is dating in Atlanta. . He thinks that there are just too many people in Atlanta, making it far more difficult for love and too many people looking for hook-ups.

Now that Stevon is an adult he’s been suffering through depression just like most people. If he could tell his younger self anything, it would be to be more accepting and open. The longer you are alone the more difficult it is to accept someone in your space.

Finding Love In A Gay World, Living In The Bible Belt, & Not Having Role Models With Mack Jones Apr 13, 2020

In today's episode, Derek is joined by Mack Jones, personal stylist and home fragrance specialist and concierge for Neiman Marcus in Atlanta.

Mack opens up about what his sexuality looked like growing up in whats considered, "the bible belt." If you're from the south than you already know there are just some states that are just.....different. Mack was born and raised in Mississippi with no gay role models and no opportunities to share his feelings at a young age.

He recalls playing sports and involving himself in all normal male activities but knowing at around age 7-8 yrs old or later that something was different because he liked different things. Mack even recalls playing house as a child and wanting to be the "wife."

If you are looking for clarity around your sexuality or just wondering if your experience uncovering your truth was normal, this episode is a must as Derek and Mack discuss finding love in a gay world, how attraction works, and loving yourself for exactly who you are physically and internal once and for all.

Make sure to follow and shop with Mack Jones ASAP:

https://www.instagram.com/mackjonesshops/

Gay Is Not One Way With Quinton Bond Apr 06, 2020

"Gay is not one way."

In this episode, Derek is joined by good friend Quinton Bond who is here to openly to discuss different gay lifestyles. Derek opens up about even stereotyping another gay man as someone he would never think was gay.

Quinton opens up about being taught growing up to be a man. As a man he feels regardless of his sexuality his values stayed the same about being a gentlemen. He shares being molested at a young age and his first sexual experience being with a male at age 5. This experience made him feel numb and confused about his sexuality.

Quinton couldn't say whether or not the abuse is what led to his his sexual preference but he knew by 13 yrs old he was different and had a name for it by 16yrs old. His vulnerability in this episode about his journey and owning and becoming comfortable with who he was at a young age was the key to avoiding some of the trauma others have experienced.

This episode truly helps acknowledge that "being gay" is not one way. We can all agree that Derek and Quinton help us understand you can not judge a man by his exterior.

Learning To Stand Tall In Who You Are With Craig Stewart Mar 09, 2020

This week Derek is joined by music writer, author, speaker, and podcast host, Craig Stewart. Derek and Craig crack wide open the journey of learning your sexuality and then learning to believe and own it.

Both Derek and Craig recall times at a young age where the wanted to "pray it away." Craig opens up about being belittled and called names such as "a sissy and a faggot" by his family and community well before he was ever called out with racial slurs.

Craig opens up about his 8 year journey between high school to the end of college where he repressed his feelings and often found himself being unsure of what he felt about his sexuality. In college he continued to date women and wasn't able to own his truth until it came to a head in the middle of when he had to end a heterosexual relationship.

Craig and Derek both own that self discovery is critical with many gay men. It's almost like a transitional period every man must experience from heterosexual to the gay life and it needs to be done alone. Some of the struggles for gay men are different then most think, Craig discusses how he often struggled with making straight men feel uncomfortable.

This honest and vulnerable episode is everything we need to hear about the transition for man who is looking to stand tall is who he is, gay or straight.

Learn more about Craig Stewart:

www.craigthewriterstewart.com

Building Bulletproof Armor For Judgement With Reggie Stewart Mar 09, 2020

Unapologetically Owning Your Sexuality with Ericka Johnson Mar 08, 2020

In this incredibly vulnerable episode, Derek J shares a huge part of his private life and family in this hour by interviewing his sister Ericka, who also happens to be a lesbian. Derek and Erick uncover their relationship with their mother, how each family dealt with their sexuality, and their very DIFFERENT perspectives of the city they were raised in. These two even shine a little light on the ups and downs of sibling relationships, dealing with differences, and how being there for one another is a non-negotiable. Hearing more about their individual journeys in this episode is a must listen for anyone struggling to own their sexuality or someone who may be curious on how one deals with it, these two give the perfect open and honest perspective from childhood to now.

The Limited Spectrum Of Masculinity With Tim Pulliam Mar 08, 2020

Derek J is joined in this episode by Journalist & Writer, Tim Pulliam. Tim is a news anchor for ABC news and has received several awards for his craft. Tim is also open publicly about his sexuality. However, in this open and honest episode Derek and Tim discuss how while Tim was aware of his preferences around age 4, he was unable to make peace with them and be public until his mid 20's. While many public facing figures give off that being open and honest is well perceived, Tim had a hard time because of the way society responded to his behavior. In high school Tim continued to date women in efforts to clarify or hide what he was uncertain about. It wasn't until Tim found a group of like-minded people in his mid 20's that he felt comfortable owning who he was and his sexual preferences. Tim's honesty in this episode is just a snippet of a black males experience knowing that he is different, but feeling as if society will not except him or love him for who he is. Follow Tim Pulliam: https://www.instagram.com/tim.pulliam/ Follow Derek J: https://www.instagram.com/derekjhair/

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