In 2010, Debbie DeMarco Bennett learned that she had borderline personality disorder, (BPD) was in and out of psychiatric hospitalizations, frequently threatening suicide, unable to keep a job and her relationships were very hot and very cold. Having grown up in the foster care system and being placed in group homes, she worked with her psychiatrist and therapist at the health organization Kaiser, where she received her diagnosis of BPD. Her psychiatrist introduced her to Dialectical Behavior Therapy, (DBT), and after she enrolled into treatment, she realized that she was not crazy, but rather, was just someone who felt deeply, intensely, and never really learned how to manage, when difficulty surfaced.
DBT is a set of skills that helps people who have difficulty regulating their emotions to be able to learn how to do things in ways that allow them to create what is known as a life worth living and learning how to tolerate distress. It comprises different tools to accomplish this, including a large component of mindfulness, and is geared especially for those that have complex trauma and have difficulty regulating their emotions
After 2 years, Debbie was technically classified as "in recovery" and continued the process of rebuilding herself. Debbie discusses her early years in Episode 152 found here: https://hopetorecharge.com/episode/borderline-personality-disorder-the-road-to-recovery-debbie-demarco-bennett/, which is fascinating.
She continued attending DBT for another 5 years and was able to maintain her friendship with someone with whom she had been in a relationship for 10 years. As a milestone, they proudly just celebrated their 20 years of friendship. During her years working with DBT, she felt confident in her ability to heal and was certain that she would find the right person, even setting the table for 2 when she'd make dinner alone, thinking how one day, she won't be eating alone. Debbie attributes her ability to effectively communicate to the BPD skills she mastered.
While going to DBT groups, taking notes and documenting every word of Dr. Marsha Linehan, knowing that healing comes in community, that sharing and realizing you're not alone and supporting each other, she started a DBT program, despite working a job. Although the initial turnout was low, Debbie pushed forward and as DBT awareness grew, albeit through Selena Gomez and Lady Gaga speaking publicly about it, Debbie started an online platform, Emotionallysensitive.com. Today, there are students in 44 countries ranging in age from 15 to 80. Enrolled students participate in 12 week-long modules with weekly lecture-style classes, zoom workshops that include mindfulness, DBT skills discussions and somatics. Student have access to a variety of additional resource material, receive guidance from the DBT Path Team and connect with other sharing students in a forum supervised with compassion by a moderator, all with privacy, set boundaries, and guidelines.
Emotionallysensitive.com doesn't just offer sympathy, empathy and understanding through years of experience. It allows students to share and rebuild using the power of the community and acquire DBT skills for life. It isn't uncommon for new students filled with despair and pain to lash out personally at Debbie, but she often gets apology emails as those students grow and practice their new DBT skills, as time moves on. Debbie often refers partners, parents, siblings and children of those suffering from BPD to psychotherapist Amanda Smith at hopeforbpd.com who runs online groups to help them cope with those stresses and to learn the "language" of BPD.
Debbie's intention, is that people who have been suffering with BPD, who have been cast aside, disregarded or feared, or that people just didn't know how to support them, are clearly feeling seen, heard, loved and supported in the community.
Is DBT right for you? Let us know! We'd love to hear your thoughts and comments.
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As we all know, sharing can help others. We are here to support each other and to learn from each other. In mental health, Together is better.
If you need more support in your mental health journey please reach out to us in our private Facebook group.
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Find out more info here! www.hopetorecharge.com/Mastermind
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Connect with Debbie:
Emotionallysensitive.com
Phone: 415-326-DBT5
Email: admin@emotionallysensitive.com
Facebook:@EmotionallySensitive.DBTpath
Twitter: @dbtpath
YouTube: DBTPath
Pinterest: DBT Path
Instagram: @dbtpath
Debbie’s Blog: Healing from BPD
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Links Mentioned:
Emotionallysensitive.com
Episode 152 with Debbie: http://hopetorecharge.com/episode/borderline-personality-disorder-the-road-to-recovery-debbie-demarco-bennett/
Dr. Marsha Linehan: behavioraltech.org/
Dr. Marsha Linehan: behavioraltech.org/
Psychotherapist Amanda Smith:hopeforbpd.com
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Quotes:
- “If you notice yourself starting to get stressed, there are skills to use in that moment to keep yourself from escalating and to keep yourself feeling regulated.” @DebbieDeMarcoBennett @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge
- “I wasn't crazy. I was just someone who felt deeply, intensely, and never really learned how to manage.” @DebbieDeMarcoBennett @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge
- “Many of us were never taught how to manage and then we're given this gift of DBT.” @DebbieDeMarcoBennett @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge
- “It was really rebuilding and finding your true self because for 18 years, you didn't even know who you were.” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge
- “When you're evolving, you're attracting a different person for what you will be eventually.” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge
- “There's such shame. There's such stigma. There's such fear. But I think Dr. Marshall Linehan is brought a gift to the world of hope.” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge
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Topics Discussed:
- Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy after a diagnosis of BPD
- The power of healing in a community
- Coping with emotions
- BPD, DBT and relationships
- Taking the first steps after awareness
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Suicide Hotlines:
USA: 1-800-273-8255
USA Crisis (Text): 741-741
Canada: 1-833-456-4566
United Kingdom: 116-123
Australia: 13-11-14
International Suicide Hotlines:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
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Today’s episode of Hope to Recharge is sponsored by Emotionallysensitive.com
Emotionallysensitive.com offers entirely online DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) skills classes for those who experience intense or dysregulated emotions. Our psychoeducational courses are taught by our founder, a peer in recovery from borderline personality disorder, and a licensed DBT-trained psychotherapist. Learning and practicing DBT skills can help create balance within us as well as in our relationships of all kinds (family, friends, workplace, romantic, etc..), and help those of us with intense emotions -- whether it’s from borderline personality disorder, bipolar, PTSD, anxiety, or other reasons, to create the lives we want and deserve. Enrollment opens soon. Sign up now at www.emotionallysensitive.com
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