Born Again Again

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Born Again Again Story with Ben + Andrea Mar 29, 2021

Being "Unequally Yoked" is a major concern when one partner in a couple goes through a faith change without the other, and our guests today have generously shared that journey with us all.

Ben and Andrea are a mixed-faith couple that went through this tricky process and have come out the other side stronger. In this interview we talk about those first difficult conversations, about therapy and how that was instrumental for them, and about all the things they learned about themselves and about each other as they went through this life change. In addition, we explore some of the very practical ways in which they have been able to make their mixed faith relationship work for them.

As always, I hope you enjoy!

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Our links:

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Born Again Again Story with David Mar 01, 2021

“On a base level of what feels right and wrong, rejecting a person for wanting to experience love just didn’t feel right at all.”

Today’s episode is an interview with David, who grew up in the southern Church or Christ and left the faith later in life.

We talk about what is was like growing up in a southern fundamentalist church, about having doubts as a kid, but not knowing how to express them, about a conversation with a coworker that completely changed his life, and about how common sense has to be a higher moral standard than any religious book. We wrap things up by discussing the difficulties in dealing with bitterness on the other side.

I hope you enjoy!

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Our links:

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Born Again Again Story with Andi + Jeremy Feb 22, 2021

“Belief is not a choice, and if it’s not a choice then the burden is off of my shoulders”

Today’s episode is an interview with Andi + Jeremy, a couple who, similar to Katie and me, started their relationship as committed christians but then headed down the path of deconversion.

We talk about their origins and the first dominos that started to fall, about the difficulties that came with losing their faiths at different rates, about telling their family and friends, and about all of the healing that they’ve found on the other side.

I hope you enjoy!

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Our links:

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Born Again Again Story with Stacy Feb 08, 2021

“For the first time in my life I feel a freedom and a love and acceptance that Ive never had, ever. I can feel my power.”

Today’s episode is the first in a series of episodes where we’re going to be turning the mic around and interviewing you - members of our Born Again Again community!

And this first episode is with a wonderful personal trainer, writer, and momma of 2 named Stacy! Our conversation was deep and incredibly encouraging, and I am so grateful that Stacy was willing to open up about her story with all of us. It’s a good one!

I hope you enjoy!

Stacy's Meditation E-Book:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08W36RBXM/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_api_glt_BGJT5Q0MW5MQ4GXCDTN2

Resources that have helped Stacy on her journey:

Books:

You Are Your Own by Jaime Lee Finch
The 5 Core Skills of Mindfulness by Terry Fralich
Untamed by Glennon Doyle
The Ethical Slut by Janet W Hardy and Dossie Easton
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Paul Walker

Podcasts:

Born Again Again (seriously...your podcast and Jaime's book were the first that got me to believe healing was possible)
The Thinking Atheist
Good Christian Fun

Spiritual Stuff:

Therapy (many years, many therapists)
Journaling
Tarot cards
Yoga
Chakra healing
Inner child work
Mediation
Working with lunar energy (phases of the moon)
Mushrooms, acid, and weed

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Our links:

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Facing and Embracing Death with Caroline Ingraham Lee Jan 25, 2021

Letting go of the promise of heaven is a really hard part of leaving the faith and leaves many of us with a fear of death.

In this episode, we discuss this typically heavy topic with death doula Caroline Ingraham Lee. We talk about her story and how she became a death doula, and discuss what that means on a practical level.
We end by talking about how facing her own mortality head-on has helped her to live a richer, more engaged and more fulfilling life, and she shares her thoughts about overcoming a lingering fear of hell and the unknown. I really, really enjoyed this conversation and hope you do too...
Show links:

Caroline's Insta (instagram.com/teamwoodnote)

Death Meditation (https://www.goingwithgracecourses.com/courses/grace-in-dying)

Our links:

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Deconstruction As A Superpower Jan 18, 2021

As ex-Christians, we understand better than most what it's like to live with an extreme worldview.

In today's episode we talk about the unique perspective we've gained since leaving our faith, and how that perspective empowers us to relate to those that we disagree with. We talk about some common reasons that we can slip back into an 'us' vs 'them' mentality, and why ex-Christians are especially prone to that type of thinking.

We end the episode with some thoughts about seeing yourself in the other, and how this simple and subtle shift in thinking can have wide-reaching effects on your brain, your relationships, and on the world.

Enjoy!

Relavant Thoughts:

"Thinking in duality will always reinforce duality. Only when you can see your enemy as a part of yourself that is in dysfunction due to their own suffering can you really work on the hearts and minds of the people you disagree with."

"Wisdom is when you can see that you are both poles and you understand how it all is. Out of that understanding you may act, but at that point you act without passion, and that’s the secret of the game." - Ram Dass

Focus on our fundamental equality - everybody is seeking pleasure and avoiding suffering. It makes it hard to hate someone when you see them as fundamentally the same as yourself - Beyond Religion by the Dalai Lama

“I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there.” - Mother Teresa

“You may protest if you can love the person you are protesting against as much as you love yourself.” - Ram Dass

Our links:

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Our Experience Doing Inner Child Work Dec 14, 2020

Healing ourselves using our own inner resources has been a major source of empowerment for us both.

In today's episode, Katie and I talk through our experiences doing 'Inner Child' work, and share some ways that it's been helpful and eye-opening for us.

As always, we try to keep things super light and practical. Hopefully our experience will encourage you to go within and try it for yourself.

And if you're looking for a guided meditation, we made one just for you!
15-Minute Guided Inner Child Meditation:

Katie Narrating: https://www.patreon.com/posts/45003352
Joe Narrating: https://www.patreon.com/posts/45003324

Our links:

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Sex + Relationships with Meg Cowan Dec 07, 2020

We all want better sex and relationships.

Today’s episode is an interview with Sex and Relationship coach Meg Cowan. During our conversation, we talk about understanding personal agency, autoimmune issues in a repressed body, and untangling from shame. We get into communication, both in relationship AND your communication with yourself, as well as some practical ways to begin building a new sexual ethic. And we wrap up by talking about navigating deconstruction with a partner who may not be on the same page.

Enjoy!
Meg's Website - megcowan.com
Meg's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/megccowan/

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Our links:

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Healing Like a Human with Jamie Lee Finch Nov 16, 2020

Today’s episode is an interview with Jamie Lee Finch!

Im sure many of you already know her from her book, You Are Your Own, but she is also an embodiment coach, acting (as she puts it) as a mediator between you and your body.

In this episode we talk about that feeling of overwhelm when you are first leaving your faith, we talk about the importance of reconnecting with your body, and what that can look like.We also dive into the importance and beauty of grief, and about the healing power of connecting with your anger.

How to find Jamie:

Our links:

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Who Do You Listen To? Nov 02, 2020

We were given WAY too much advice.

In today's episode we talk about the importance of being really strict on who's voice you allow into your life. We talk about the abundance of input Christians had in our lives when we were younger and the implications of that.

We also talk news, politics, social media, and the overwhelming amount of voices that we are subjected to every day.

Then we talk about two major ways we've been able to quiet the outside noise and amplify our own intuitions, and how that's impacted our lives.
Enjoy!

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Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Normalizing the Outrageous and Intro to Season 2! Oct 26, 2020

Season 2 is officially here!

In this episode we examine the process of coming to belief in God/Christianity/Bible/etc. We discuss how the process of going from a human to a Christian is broken into many small, easy-to-swallow stages, and how this process allows normal, logical people to believe in things like speaking made up languages, pretending to drink human blood and eat human flesh, and in an invisible, silent, angry overlord.

In the last few minutes we get really honest with you all. We talk about our plan, passion, and vision for season 2 as well as what the next chapter of this podcast and community are going to look like.

Much love to each and every one of you!

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Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

"I Am Proud of How Humble I Am" Aug 24, 2020

Can you be proud of your own humility? Did Christianity make us over-analytical? Let's find out!

In addition to a brief update, in this episode we discuss the idea of spiritual materialism, as discussed in Sam Harris's 'Waking Up' app. We talk about how Christian leaders feign humility by bragging about their awareness of their sins, about how being a Christian may have made us overly analytical, about how this spiritual pride is not limited to Christianity, and about our own journey with self-identity.

We wrap up by talking about what spirituality means to us, how even positive practices can become a cage, and what we're doing to avoid that.

Enjoy!

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Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Let Go Mar 23, 2020

Does "Let go and let God" make you cringe? Us too.

In this episode we discuss the idea of surrender and what it was like to have a higher power to surrender our problems to. We talk about the security and comfort we found in giving things over to God, and how jarring it was to lose that ability once we left the faith.

To bring it full circle, we talk about the idea of radical acceptance, bringing awareness to our worry and anxiety, choosing more loving thoughts, and about how we're learning to surrender on the other side of religion.

Stay healthy all ❤️

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Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Does Anyone Really Believe? Mar 16, 2020

When it comes down to it, does anyone really believe?

In this episode we talk about belief, and how it relates to life in the real world. We talk about the corona virus and how we would have responded to it when we used to be Christian. Is there a line where a person’s faith will inevitably take a back seat to reason?

We finish the episode by talking about the huge (unnecessary) weight of balancing religion and real life, and the great sense of relief we are experiencing on the other side of the impossible standards of Christianity.

Enjoy…

Links!

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Noah's Ark and the Tower of Babel Mar 09, 2020

Today Katie is going to read you some Bible stories (is Katie writing this in the third person? yes).

We’re thinking back on our childhood and all the Bible stories we were taught through picture books and children’s Sunday school skits.

The Tower of Babel and Noah’s Ark are two such stories that we never batted an eye at, but now we’re re-reading them to see what we missed.

Coming back to the Bible after taking a break was a shock for us. We talk about how our perceptions of God changed, how there are many details to these stories that were either left out or not understood, and how they pose many, many questions. If you didn’t believe these stories to be literal and assumed they were allegorical…well, you’re lucky. Sometimes it’s hard to come back to what now seems like a fairytale and embrace the fact that you believed it was fully true. Being kind to our inner child is key for us now.

We wrap up by sharing “where we’re at” in this deconstruction process and how our mind has been a little less consumed by our Christian pasts.

Enjoy…

Links!

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Relationships, People Pleasing, and Discovering Your Intuition w/Tully O'Connor Feb 17, 2020

Turning the other cheek, being meek, being humble, are not particularly helpful when taken to the extreme.

Today we’re so excited to be sharing a conversation we had with Tully O’Connor.

Tully is a personal development and relationship coach that I (Joe) have been working with over the last few months, and I have been hugely benefitted by my time spent with him.

During this conversation we talk about people pleasing, and how disconnection from yourself, from your intuition, will inevitably cause you to be disconnected in your relationships. We talk about self compassion and the importance of having patience for yourself, and at the end we go through some really practical things we can all do to tame our inner critic, develop more self-compassion and self-connection, and some ways to process through the complex feelings that inevitably come up as we learn to live on the other side of religion.

This was a really helpful conversation for us to have and I think it will be helpful for all of you as well,

Enjoy…

Episode Links:
Tully’s Instagram (https://instagram.com/tullyoconnor)

Breathing Exercises:
O2 Awakening (https://www.theo2awakening.com)
Wim Hof (https://youtu.be/nzCaZQqAs9I)

Links!

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Am I Smart Enough to Leave? Feb 10, 2020

We felt like we had to do a lot of studying before we walked away from our faith.

In this episode we talk briefly about Rhett and Link’s deconstruction podcast episodes, specifically about how their story parallels ours and many of yours as well.

Then we talk about how many people feel ill-equipped to leave their faith. We discuss how Christianity can teach you to “lean not on your own understanding”, and how that can keep a person trapped inside a worldview which does not suit them.

Enjoy!

Rhett’s Deconstruction (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/226-rhetts-spiritual-deconstruction-ear-biscuits-ep-226/id717407884?i=1000464459618)

Links!

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Exploring Doubt Feb 03, 2020

We’ve all heard the Christian response: “I went through a period of doubt as well, and the Lord brought me back to him.”

In this episode we talk about this common Christian sentiment, and discuss why it’s so dismissive, belittling, and misguided. We talk about how most people who claim to have “explored their doubts” were likely just trying to ignore their intuition and get rid of their internal red flags.

We always believed that doubt was sin, but how should we relate to it now? What should we do with our doubts about our atheistic views? What if we can learn to love our doubts as we learn to love ourselves?

Enjoy!

Links!

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Healing Without Recreating Your Trauma feat. The Reclamation Collective Jan 27, 2020

It’s our second interview, and it’s with the Reclamation Collective!

Today we’re excited to be sharing a conversation we had with 2 wonderful therapists, Kayla Felten and Kendra Synder, who together have formed the Reclamation Collective.

In this episode we cover a lot of ground, but we’re focusing on healing without recreating your trauma. We talk about how codependency can show up in group contexts, about how many of us have given away our power to spiritual leaders in our pasts, the benefits of group discussion in your reconstruction process, and wrap up talking about some practical questions to ask when hiring a therapist.

Enjoy!

Links!

Reclamation Collective (https://www.instagram.com/reclamationcollective/)

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Finding Balance Jan 20, 2020

We're Back! Today we're talking about balance.

After taking a few weeks off, we sit down and talk about how difficult (and important) it is to find the balance between active healing and rest. We're finding that, just like all things in life, the real game is in recognizing when we've drifted too far to either extreme and gently reminding ourselves to come back to the middle ground.

We wrap up by talking about the future of the podcast and the direction we are heading in 2020.

Enjoy!

Links!

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Q & A: Family, Christmas, Community, and More Dec 16, 2019

You have questions and we have answers.

In this episode we answer a bunch of the questions that you all submitted this past week. We talk about Christmas, setting boundaries with family, circumcision, communicating with a spouse who’s not on board, prophetic words and much, much more!

Enjoy!

Also, check out our new merch store!
teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast

Links!

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Merch (https://teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast)

Six Months of Change Dec 09, 2019

A lot has changed for us in the last 6 months.

In this episode we check in and talk about the many things that have changed for us since starting this podcast. We feel differently about ourselves, about hell, about Christians, about our families, and more.

We talk about how each "part" of ourselves is connected to everything else, and how we've had to learn patience and compassion as we find our way in this new life!

Links!

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Let's Talk About Sex Dec 02, 2019

Christians are weird about sex.

In this episode we talk about sex, purity, and relationships. We talk about how weird dating was as a Christian, and how our beliefs about sexuality affected every part of our engagement and early years of marriage.

Although it’s still an ongoing process, we wrap things up by talking about the variety of things we’ve done that have helped us to heal from our inhibited, repressed past. Enjoy!

Links!

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

How Atheism is Different Than We Thought Nov 25, 2019

We used to think atheists were sad, hopeless, mean people.

In this episode we talk about how atheism is different than we thought it would be. When we were Christians we had a negative view of people who were atheist. We believed that atheists were lost, cold, and selfish people who simply loved sin too much to follow God. To us, it took more faith to be an atheist than it did to be a Christian.

Becoming atheist has been a beautiful experience that has surprised us, challenged us, and taught us a lot about who we really are. It has helped us to become more compassionate, to enjoy our lives more fully, to love more, and to feel more at home on the earth.

Links!

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

What's the Point of Prayer? Nov 18, 2019

Prayer was a huge part of our Christian faith.

In this episode we talk about all the ins and outs of prayer. We realized that we had never really stopped to think about what prayer really is, why we did it, and what effects it was having on us.

We discuss the weirdness of prayer, talk about the dependent and submissive mindset it puts you in, and reminisce about what our prayer life looked like. In the end, we wrapped up our conversation by talking about how we've been affected by prayer and about how we've chosen to incorporate similar practices into our lives on the other side of Christianity.

The Tim Minchin video we quote from (https://youtu.be/IZeWPScnolo )

Links!

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Halloween and Everything Spooky Nov 04, 2019

Were you allowed to celebrate Halloween?

In this lighthearted episode we have our best friend Sara back on the podcast to talk about all the “evil” stuff we were afraid of when we were Christian.

In this spooky conversation we talk about Halloween, ouija boards, tarot cards, night terrors, and more. We share our experience on both sides - how we used to be scared of anything “dark” and then how we learned to release those fears on the other side.

Our previous episode with Sara, ep 11 (https://bornagainagain.co/podcast/episode-11-why-is-the-devil-so-strong-reading-the-bible-with-sara-and-phil)

Links!

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Which Came First: God or the Bible? Oct 28, 2019

Is faith in God predicated on faith in the Bible?

Today we have a conversation about what Christians really believe; about what it means to believe in God. We talk about how bizarre it is that we never questioned where our beliefs came from, and about how eventually, questioning the Bible caused us to question our entire belief system.

We talk about how understanding the Bible's role in our past faith helps us to walk away with less fear and less baggage.

Links!

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

The Spiritual Gifts Oct 21, 2019

Tongues, Healings, Prophecies, oh my!

Neither of us started our Christian ‘walk’ believing in modern-day miracles, but our faith journey took us there and we were along for the ride. By the end, we had little doubt that supernatural power was the calling of every true Christian.

Today we have a conversation about all things charismatic. We talk about our first introduction to the spiritual gifts, our long and confusing pursuit of the supernatural, some first-hand experiences we had in charismatic circles, and how our belief in modern-day miracles both made us question our faith and also made it more difficult for us to leave.

Links!

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Kendra Snyder Therapy (https://kendrasnydertherapy.com)

A Conversation with a Therapist feat. Kendra Snyder Oct 14, 2019

We’re taking you all to therapy today.

This week we visited St. Paul, Minnesota to interview our first ever guest, Kendra Snyder, MA, LMFT, NCC. Kendra is a therapist specializing in supporting those who have been touched by adoption, grief, loss, trauma, and hurt from religion, as well as people who desire increased connection, to explore personal identity, and to find an authentic belief system or spirituality.

We chat with her about her experiences within religion including her time at Moody Bible Institute and her deconstruction of faith, and how it lead into her career path as a therapist.

Kendra and her good friend Kayla also recently founded the Reclamation Collective which is a group of folks who identify with religious trauma and are seeking space to process, deconstruct, and reclaim!

Links!

Reclamation Collective (https://instagram.com/reclamationcollective)

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

What It Felt Like to Lose Our Religion Oct 07, 2019

We never wanted to lose our faith.

In this episode we have a conversation about how we experienced the different stages of leaving religion.

From confusion and fear to anger and embarrassment, falling away from Christianity was a wild ride that brought us through a whirlwind of feelings and emotions.

We hope that this episode will help you to feel understood and feel a little less alone.

Links!

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

We Went to Church Sep 30, 2019

We went to church for the first time in 4 years.

We attended Hillsong in midtown manhattan last Sunday, and this week we have a conversation about our experience. Enjoy!

Links!

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Being a Godly Man Sep 23, 2019

I had a hard time being a 'Godly' man.

On this episode, we talk about my experience growing up as a man in Christianity. We talk about how "Godly manhood" is difficult to define, and the definitions available are contradictory and impossible to achieve.

We talk about how the pursuit of godly manhood affected my self-worth, my ability to think for myself, our marriage, and much more.

In the end, we wrap up by discussing where we're at now, and how wonderful it is to be able to define masculinity for myself without the constrictive burden of Christianity.

Links!

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Being a Godly Woman Sep 16, 2019

What does it mean to be a 'Godly' woman?

On this episode, Katie shares her experience growing up as a woman in Christianity. She talks about the way it effected her self-worth, her relationships, and her view of feminism.

In the end, we talk about how where she's at now and how her view of herself and womanhood in general has changed for the better.

Links!

Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain)

Indoctrination and Your Inner Child Sep 09, 2019

Our beliefs about God, our lives, and our identities were formed long before we were conscious enough to understand them.

In this episode we talk about indoctrination: training a person to believe something without any critical questioning. Although we can’t fault our parents for it, we were indoctrinated into Christianity as children, and understanding that fact has greatly helped us deconstruct from it.

We talk about why childrens' brains are so sensitive to indoctrination, why those early-set beliefs have lasting significance, and how doing inner child work has helped us move past our past.

Our Stuff

About the Different Brain Waves

This is Your Brain on Worship Sep 02, 2019

Sunday morning worship is a great way to brainwash yourself.

In this episode we talk about our experience as worship leaders and as worshippers of God. We talk about how important worship was for us as Christians, and about how our questioning of “God’s presence” in worship led us to question many other areas of our faith.

We talk about the formulaic structure of many church services, as well as how the style and choice of music influences our brains to make us more receptive to the words we are singing and the messages we are receiving from the pulpit.

Our Stuff

Finding a New Identity Aug 26, 2019

It’s tempting to try to replace the identity that’s lost when you walk away from Christianity.

In this episode we talk about the tendency we have to try to find our identity in external things.

We talk about atheist groups, progressive Christianity, “I am” labels, and other “boxes” that can limit your perception and cause you to view life through a filter.

Therapy, reading, and meditation have helped us to quiet the external and feel comfortable to simply “be”.

Links

Keep Your Identity Small

Losing Our Identity in Christ Aug 19, 2019

Losing our Christian identity was one of the hardest parts of leaving our faith.

In this episode we talk about what we thought it meant to “put your identity in Christ”.

We talk about how losing that Christian identity especially affected Joe, what that process looked like for us, and what some of our biggest takeaways are from this part of the deconversion process.

Our Stuff

Visiting Our Hometown and Family Aug 12, 2019

This is our first time coming back home since we told our parents that we’re no longer Christian.

We spent 10 days in Wisconsin visiting with both sides of our families. Every time we come home we feel more and more distant from the people we used to be when we lived there. This time we noticed more than ever how big of a role Christianity plays in the culture and lives of the people in our hometown. There are Bible verses in restaurants and banks, proselytizing car salesman, and an overall “stuck in the past” mentality that never bothered us before.

We had a good conversion with some family members and left with more compassion for them and for our past selves. Family can be a difficult relationship to maintain with or without the tension of religion, and we want to continue to be open and loving with our parents and relatives after our break from Christianity to rebuild a baseline relationship for our future selves.

Our Stuff

Christianity Warped Our Brains Jul 29, 2019

Believing in Christianity killed our ability to think critically.

We talk about faith, and why it’s definitely not a virtue, as well as what it was like to have adults train us to believe in loads of nonsensical stories. We discuss some of the ways in which Christianity was training our brains to ignore contradictions, doubts, and criticism. We touch on the over-emphasis on authority, and how the Bible told us to not to trust ourselves but instead to trust those that “God put in authority” over us.

And finally, we discuss how Christianity is a closed, self-satisfying system that is essentially impervious to outside criticism. We’re so glad to be free.

Our Stuff

Coming To Terms With Death Jul 22, 2019

Christianity offered a safety net for death, and it was hard to walk away from that.

In this episode we talk about what we used to believe about death and the afterlife when we were Christians. We discuss our preoccupation with eternity at a young age, and talk about how our ideas of heaven weren't really based on anything.

We finish by talking about how hard it was to face our own mortality after we left our faith, and how we have chosen to use the finiteness of our lives as a motivation to really live, here and now.

"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming 'Wow!'" - Hunter S. Thompson

Our Stuff

Old Wedding Vows and Talking About Divorce Jul 15, 2019

We were scared of the word divorce and our vows were written by aliens.

We found our old wedding vows, and it inspired an episode about our wedding and the facade we used to present as Christians. The vows got us talking about how much we’ve had to strip away to become our real selves again.

We also have a conversation about what divorce meant to us when we used to be Christian, how that's changed since we left our faith, and how our new understanding of divorce has actually made our marriage stronger. It was a difficult and painful topic to bring up at first, but it allowed us to be more open in our marriage, grow up in a sense, and truly look at why we were together without our third-wheeler, Jesus.

Also please enjoy when Katie calls “STDs” “sex diseases.”

Our Stuff

Why Is The Devil So Strong? - Reading the Bible with Sara and Phil Jul 08, 2019

Reading the Bible is what finally deconverted us from Christianity.

On today’s episode we read the Bible and chat with our best friends and first ever guests, Sara Byrne and Phil Chester.

Sara and Phil actually got us back into the Bible after a couple years avoiding religion altogether. It was through this process that we were able to finally able to cut ties with our Christianity and move forward.

This particular time, we look at the story of Original Sin and the curse on mankind, as well as the story of Job. We talk about the devil’s roll in Christianity and ask why he, who is not actually mentioned that much in these ancient texts, came to be so feared and powerful. And consequently how we realized he’s not that bad of a guy compared to God.

Our Stuff

Should I Believe Just In Case? Jul 01, 2019

Should we believe in God just in case?

Family members and others have brought up this question with us. This question is another way to talk about Pascal’s Wager, which states that if you believe in God and God doesn’t exist, at least there are no consequences, but if he does exist and you don’t believe in him, the consequences are fiery.

We didn’t want our spiritual beliefs to be based in fear.

In our experience, Pascal was wrong when he said that there were no negative consequences to being a committed follower of Christ. And we talk about them all in this episode.

Our Stuff

Cru "Knowing God Personally" Tract

Our Experience as Campus Missionaries with Cru Jun 24, 2019

We served as campus missionaries with Cru, a national evangelical organization that hosts meetings and Christian events on college campuses across the nation.

Even though we were deeply committed Christians at the time, we had a number of problems with Cru and the way that evangelical organizations in general treated the students we were supposed to be reaching.

We talk about our involvement during our years as students, our (weird) summer raising support, the business-like tactics employed by Cru to "win the lost", and the many binders we were instructed to read from.

Cru.org

Cru Perspective Cards

Our Stuff

"Are You Just Chasing Feelings?" Jun 17, 2019

In this episode of the Born Again Again podcast, we talk about feelings, faith, and learning to trust our intuition.

We talk about the role of feelings in the devoted Christian’s life and how we learned to suppress them on our “walk with God”.

We talk about our journey as we learned to feel again, along with some of the benefits we’ve experienced and some practical advice for learning to get in touch with yourself again.

Our Stuff

Anger, Resentment, Regret Jun 03, 2019

In this episode of the Born Again Again podcast, we talk about anger, resentment, and regret.

We talk about some of the reasons we regret our Christian past - from over-respecting authority and being terrified of satan, to shame around sex and guilt for pursuing dreams.

We also have a conversation about the best ways we’ve found to move on from our anger and recover from our past.

Our Stuff

bornagainagain.co/resources

We Told Our Parents May 27, 2019

"Coming Out" as non-Christian to our family was really difficult.

In this episode we talk about what it was like to tell our parents that we're not Christian anymore.

We talk about how we worked up the courage, how each of our conversations went, and how we feel now that it's finally over.

The books/resources we mention can all be found on our resources page:

Our Stuff

God is Love? May 20, 2019

Is God actually loving?

We talk about how we used to view God and his love when we were Christians, how our re-reading of the Bible with non-christian eyes changed our view of him, and how that new picture of God was one of the biggest reasons we deconverted.

We touch on our revelation of God’s “conditional” rather than “unconditional” love and how we were affected by his example.

Our Stuff

How Leaving Christianity Changed Our Relationship May 13, 2019

Leaving Christianity drastically changed our marriage.

We were both very involved in church and each had personal relationships with Jesus when we married. As our marriage grew, so did our relationships with God. He was our “third cord,” “our rock” on which our marriage was built.

So what happens when he’s out of the picture?

We went through questioning the basis of our relationship, if we were still meant to be together, and discovered that divorce was no longer a forbidden word.

Our Stuff

Signs of an Abusive Relationship

A Personal (or Abusive) Relationship With Jesus? Apr 29, 2019

What does it really mean to have a personal relationship with Jesus?

We discuss what several notable Christian websites have to say about a personal relationship with Jesus, talk about our own experience in this relationship, and find some surprising parallels to the defining parts of an abusive relationship between people.

Also, we are excited to announce our new website, with all of our episodes, some blog posts, and a list of our favorite resources for the recovering ex-Christian:

BornAgainAgain.co

Episode Links:

What is a Relationship With God?

Is it an abusive relationship?

Our Stuff

Derren Brown Faith Healer

The Reasons We Left Our Christian Faith Apr 20, 2019

There were many reasons we left Christianity.

In episode 02, we talk about the early stages of leaving our faith, questions we started asking, and some of the resources that led us the rest of the way out.

This podcast is a brief version of our full progression and full list of question and problems with Christianity. If you’re interested in reading more, we wrote a blog post about it!

Links:

Sam Harris debate

A Case For Christ

The Reddit post

Our Stuff

Our Story Apr 20, 2019

We left Christianity and this is our story.

In this very first episode, we discuss our testimony, the churches we grew up in, our involvement in campus ministry, our charismatic church, and the first questions that led to us leaving our Christian faith.

Our Stuff