The Recovery Show » Finding serenity through 12 step recovery in Al-Anon

Separating from Dysfunction – 428 Feb 24, 2025

Heather relates her experience growing up in dysfunction, and her journey to recovery through therapy, Al-Anon and ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families). Understanding Family Dysfunction Many of us have grown up in environments marked by dysfunction, often without realizing the full extent until adulthood. Heather’s story reveals the toxic atmosphere she was...

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When the Behavior is Too Much for Most of Us – 427 Feb 17, 2025

Spencer and Misti, with listener contributions, explore a challenging topic for those who have loved ones grappling with addiction: cutting or limiting contact. We hare personal stories and insights about creating and respecting boundaries to protect our emotional well-being. Whether it's temporary, permanent, or situational, the act of establishing boundaries with friends or family members...

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Reflections on 2024 – 426 Jan 31, 2025

At the beginning of a new year, I like to take some time to reflect on the past year, and to set some intentions for the new year. (Please note: intentions are not resolutions!) This year, I took these questions from another email group I'm a member of, and asked you to reflect on them....

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Shortcomings and Self-Acceptance: Step 7 – 425 Jan 17, 2025

In our ongoing journey through the 12 Steps of Al Anon, we arrive at Step 7, which encourages us to humbly ask our Higher Power to remove our shortcomings. While succinct in its wording, this step is profound in its demands and implications. It challenges us to embrace humility, not as humiliation, but as self-acceptance...

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Addiction’s Little Sister – 424 Dec 27, 2024

In the whirlwind of life's trials, how can we turn tragedy into comedy? This question is at the heart of Liz C's journey as she navigates her role as “Addiction's Little Sister.” Her story, a tapestry woven with laughter, resilience, and hope, offers a unique perspective on finding light amidst darkness. Liz's story begins in...

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Transformation Begins in Step Six – 423 Dec 17, 2024

In the journey of recovery, reaching Step Sixmarks a pivotal moment of transformation. This step, as we examine in our recent conversation between Spencer and Ufasaha Y, asks us to become “entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” It holds a promise of change through surrender and faith, allowing us to...

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Embracing Self-Love: A Recovery Journey – 422 Dec 11, 2024

Today, Shannon and Spencer dig deep into the question, how do we learn and grow to love ourselves? In the pursuit of learning to love ourselves, we may have faced emotional challenges and societal pressures that obscure our self-worth. We might begin by reflecting on childhood experiences that shaped our perceptions and beliefs about ourselves....

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Step Five: A Journey Towards Personal Freedom – 421 Nov 29, 2024

In our shared journey through the twelve steps, Step Five is an essential turning point towards self-awareness and personal freedom. This step—admitting to God, ourselves, and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs—offers us an opportunity to break free from the self-imposed chains of shame and secrecy. As we work this Step, we...

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Path to Recovery: Embracing Step Four – 420 Nov 11, 2024

Our recovery journey requires courage and self-reflection, especially when we encounter Step 4: “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” Eric and Spencer relate our experiences, insights, and the profound transformation that accompanies Step 4, as described in the reading from the book “How Al Anon Works.” Taking a moral inventory may seem...

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Secular Healing: Working Step Three – 419 Oct 21, 2024

Approaching the Twelve Steps from a secular viewpoint can present challenges, particularly with Step Three, which traditionally involves turning one's will and life over to the care of God. Spencer and Marilyn explore how we have navigated these waters while remaining respectful to their own beliefs as atheists or agnostics. Founding a Secular Al Anon...

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Navigating Retirement with Recovery – 418 Sep 21, 2024

Retirement can be an exciting yet challenging phase of life. It brings forward new experiences and demands a blend of anticipation and adaptation. The principles and tools garnered through our journeys of recovery can play a pivotal role in navigating these changes. Mary H. shares insights into her retirement process and how recovery has helped...

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Creating a Personal Higher Power in Recovery – 417 Sep 09, 2024

Recovery can challenge us to transform our spiritual and religious understandings and underpinnings. For many, especially those emerging from rigid religious backgrounds, rediscovering or reimagining one's higher power becomes a transformative step. In this episode, Sara delves into her personal journey of redefining her higher power, lending an inspiring narrative to those struggling with similar...

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Letting Go and Trusting: Exploring Step Three – 416 Sep 01, 2024

Step Three states: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” We’ll be delving into this step, discussing its essence and sharing personal experiences. Step Three comes after acknowledging the hope for a saner life (Step Two). This step is about making a...

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Finding Hope and Sanity: Exploring Step Two – 415 Aug 20, 2024

Spencer opens the discussion by reiterating Step Two: “[We] came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” Bruce notes that their discussion is a reflection of their personal experiences.. Personal Narratives of Insanity and Restoration Both Spencer and Bruce share their personal stories, highlighting their past struggles and how...

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Surviving Alex: A Mother’s Story of Love, Loss, and Addiction – 414 Aug 08, 2024

I had the privilege of speaking with Pat R., the author of the heartfelt and powerful book “Surviving Alex: A Mother's Story of Love, Loss, and Addiction.” This story may resonate with you if you are grappling with the complex combination of mental illness and addiction. A Mother's Heartfelt Journey Pat's journey began with her...

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Step One: Finding Strength in Surrender – 413 Jul 04, 2024

Spencer and Nora explore Step One of Al-Anon, which is about admitting powerlessness over alcohol and recognizing the unmanageability in one's life. They read from the book ‘How Al-Anon Works' and discuss how their lives have been impacted by others' alcoholism. Both hosts share personal anecdotes on their journey to accepting their lack of control...

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Breaking Through Denial: Honesty is Essential – 412 Jun 24, 2024

In conversation with Barb W, we dive into the vital role honesty plays in the journey of recovery, particularly in accepting and working the first step. The Challenge of Honesty We kick off the discussion with Barb reflecting on the necessity of honesty in recovery. Honesty often starts with acknowledging our own denial and deceit,...

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Growth and Challenges in Al-Anon Service – 411 Jun 07, 2024

Being a leader in Al-Anon is fundamentally different from traditional notions of leadership. As we highlight in our discussion, Al-Anon leaders are guided by humility and enthusiasm rather than authority and control. This approach is rooted in Tradition Two, which states, “Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.” Understanding this principle is...

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Walking the Path to Recovery – Working the 12 Steps – 410 May 27, 2024

Host Spencer and guest Ashley delve into the transformative power of the 12 steps in the Al-Anon program. We revisit the 12 steps and explore their impact on our personal growth and healing. We read and reflect on passages from chapter 8, “Twelve Steps”, in the book How Al-Anon Works, sharing our own experiences and...

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Finding Strength in Mutual Aid: Insights from Al-Anon’s Third Tradition – 409 Apr 02, 2024

Al Anon's Tradition 3 emphasizes the gathering of relatives of alcoholics for mutual aid, forming an Al Anon family group rooted in shared experiences and support. Spencer elaborates on how this mutual aid creates a safe space where individuals facing the impact of addiction can find solace and understanding. The only requirement for membership is...

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A Deep Dive into Sharing in Meetings – 408 Mar 12, 2024

We find value in the shared experiences, wisdom, and support expressed in Al-Anon meetings. Sharing in meetings plays a crucial role in bolstering recovery, assisting in healing, and fostering a sense of community among attendees. However, we may hear instructions and conventions that seem challenging to adhere to at times. Why do we share? Sharing...

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Spencer T talk at 71st Greeley AA Stampede Mar 01, 2024

In February, 2023, Spencer gave a talk at the 71st Greeley AA Stampede. This is that talk. Readings and Links The Greeley AA Stampede is an annual AA conference with Al-Anon participation. Find out more at their website. A listener asked about finding “speaker tapes” online. Two sources are XA Speakers and Recovery Radio Network....

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Listening to you – 406 Feb 11, 2024

Listen to the experience, strength and hope, questions, and fears of 30-ish listeners of The Recovery Show. Hear from members on topics such as these: Here are few moments that you might connect with: Sue wrote, “While listening to Debra C. share on your podcast, I realized she was telling my story. I took away...

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Working the Steps – 405 Jan 11, 2024

The 12 steps are indispensable in the journey towards healing. They can spark enlightenment, foster growth, and propel personal transformation. In this episode, Spencer, Karen, and other contributors explore several approaches to working the 12 steps. Acknowledging Variety and Personalizing the Process 12-step recovery does not have a ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach. Members apply the steps to...

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Experience, Strength and Hope from the 2023 Al-Anon International Convention – 404 Dec 28, 2023

Did you attend the 2023 Al-Anon International Convention? If you didn't, have you wondered what it was like? In this episode, Heather, Racheal, and Spencer share our expectations of the convention, what happened at the convention, what we learned, and what we are bringing home. Contact the show You can leave a voicemail at 734-707-8795...

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Inaction and Reaction: Navigating the Path to Meaningful Action – 403 Dec 08, 2023

In our lives, we often find ourselves faced with situations that require us to make decisions. We have a choice to either react impulsively or take a moment to consider our actions. This interplay between inaction and reaction can shed light on how we navigate life's complexities. Let's delve deeper into the concepts of inaction,...

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Finding Freedom from Gossip and Creating Positive Relationships in Recovery – 402 Nov 09, 2023

What is gossip? How is it harmful to my recovery? Spencer and Laurel discuss gossip and how it can hinder our path to recovery. We share our personal experiences, elaborating on how we used to perceive gossip and how this perception has changed. We lay emphasis on the power of silence, restraining oneself from engaging...

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What is my Motive? – 401 Sep 02, 2023

At a recent meeting, the topic was Step 11. I most often share about my difficulties in creating a regular program of prayer and meditation. But at this meeting, I picked the second part of the step “Praying only for knowledge of God’s will…” The question that I face when I consider that phrase is,...

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Milestones – 400 Aug 17, 2023

Reaching and recognizing significant milestones is an integral part of the recovery process. Celebrating these moments of progress might include acknowledging the ability to set personal boundaries, letting go of blame, or embracing presence in the current moment. These victories, regardless of how small, contribute significantly to personal growth and healing, reinforcing the transformative power...

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Finding Al-Anon Lessons in Classic Novels — 399 Jun 28, 2023

I noticed how different people in the story respond to the drinking in different ways. It leapt off the page to me, not only because I recognized stories that I could have heard in the rooms, but also my own perception of their reactions. – Frances Step into the pages of classic literature and discover...

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What we learned in 2022 — 398 Jun 19, 2023

What valuable lesson did you learn in 2022? Our answers include: Upcoming topics Coming up is our 400th episode. Eric suggested the topic of milestones for that “milestone” episode. What can you identify as significant events or turning points in your travels on the road to recovery? Have you experienced such things as a breakthrough,...

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From Wounded to Empowered: Misti B’s Path to Forgiveness — 397 May 24, 2023

Misti's journey of self-discovery and forgiveness takes her through the depths of her family's addiction and abuse. Just as she begins to find inner peace, a shocking revelation forces her to confront the past and leaves her questioning everything she thought she knew. Will she find the courage to continue her journey towards healing and...

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Boundaries Revisited – 396 Mar 29, 2023

It's been a while since we talked about boundaries. Barb N brings her own perspective and experience to this conversation. Barb hit a co-dependent bottom at the age of 52, although at that time she had never heard of the word co-dependent! She was trying to help out a homeless man, and invited him to...

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The Relationship between Mother and Son – 395 Mar 05, 2023

How is the relationship between a mother and her son affected by alcholism and addiction? Join us as Amy shares her experience, strength, and hope (and particularly hope), as we explore how her relationship with her son was affected by his alcoholism and addiction. She says “I do wanna clarify, you know, I'm gonna use...

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People of Color in Recovery – Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging – 394 Feb 14, 2023

Mary is an Al-Anon member who is Korean. She brings her experience as a person of color in the rooms of recovery to the podcast. Our conversation touches on all the points below, plus more. Readings and Links We read from Courage to Change page 61, March 1st, and from Many Voices, One Journey, Al-Anon's...

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Take What You Like and Leave the Rest — 393 Jan 31, 2023

If you’ve been to a few meetings, you’ve probably heard us say, “Take what you like and leave the rest.” Why do we say this? What does it mean to you? One place this sentence appears is in the Suggested Al-Anon Closing, which starts, In closing, I would like to say that the opinions expressed...

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Step 12 – 392 Jan 18, 2023

The only promise in the 12 steps is contained in Step 12. It promises that if we work these steps, that we will have a spiritual awakening. Then it asks us to then carry the message, and practice the principles of recovery in all our affairs. Step 12 is really composed of 3 parts. Let's...

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The power of stories – 391 Jan 04, 2023

We all have stories. In Al-Anon we tell our stories to each other. Why do we do this? Our suggested welcome suggests that “we say what is in our minds and hearts, for this is how we help one another in Al-Anon/Alateen.” In fact the full paragraph emphasizes the importance of sharing our stories Anonymity...

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Gratitude 2022 – 390 Nov 21, 2022

What are you grateful for today? I asked that question of some listeners. 16 of you responded with shares, which I have compiled here. Many of you expressed gratitude for recovery, for Al-Anon and other 12 step programs, and for the changes in your lives that have come about. You are grateful for the people...

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Four Primary Ideas – 389 Nov 02, 2022

What are the four primary ideas? How have they been active in my recovery?. Readings and Links We read from the 2022–2025 Al-Anon Alateen Service Manual, p. 20, “Four Primary Ideas” Upcoming topics You can contribute to our annual gratitude episode. What are you grateful for today? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your...

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Recovery in the TV/Film Industry – 388 Sep 26, 2022

Lisa H is using her recovery tools as she is working in the TV and film industry. My stereotype, at least, of this industry is that it is full of “dysfunctional” situations and people. Lisa came to Al-Anon when her therapist told her that although there was likely no alcoholism in her family of origin,...

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Co-Crazy – 387 Sep 07, 2022

Are you co-crazy? How can we recover from the state of codependent craziness? Sarah M joined us to talk about her journey of recovery from what she calls “co-crazy”. Her book is titled Co-Crazy: One Psychologist's Recovery from Codependency and Addiction: A memoir & roadmap to freedom. Sarah says My path into recovery began when...

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Loss and Grief – 386 Aug 19, 2022

I recently was asked to lead at an online meeting. This is what I said about loss and grief. Then, I asked some of you to share your responses, and you did! Spencer on Loss and Grief Thank you, Jo. thank you for inviting me. I have some gratitude that today is a holiday in...

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Worry Less — 385 Jul 27, 2022

Does your mind automatically tune into the worry-and-fear channel? Are you suffering from worry about your loved ones? What tools have you found to help escape from constant worrying? Gigi joins Spencer to talk about strategies and tools to worry less. We started with some of her story of codependence and worry. She identifies “whispered...

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Leaning into Faith – 384 Jul 06, 2022

How have you found faith, and how has it helped you let go of fear? Kathy joins Spencer to dig into these questions and to share some recent experiences that prompted this topic. Our conversation touched on and was inspired by these topics: Fear and old behavior Fear of the G-O-D word How believe in...

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Laurel S — Alcoholism Ended her Marriage — 383 Jun 24, 2022

Laurel's story begins: My wife was 6 years sober when we met – but not in program. “AA doesn’t work for me”. She remained sober another 6 years. After our first baby and a big move for my career (that put her closer to her family) she decided she “wanted to try drinking again. I...

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Remembrance — 382 May 30, 2022

How do you remember the loved ones you have lost? How do you measure their lives? When my grandfather died, my father wrote a thoughtful, personal remembrance of him. At that time, I thought “I’d never be able to do that!” Because of the work I have done in recovery, I can do that. The...

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Acceptance is a Gift of Recovery – 381 May 07, 2022

How is acceptance a gift of recovery for me? In March, 2021, I gave a talk at an online conference. I tried to follow this outline. What is acceptance? What is it not? Not “giving up” Not saying “this is ok” Recognizing reality How do I use acceptance? Not “crying against the night” Opening possibilities...

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Awareness and Acceptance – 380 Mar 30, 2022

How do you practice awareness and acceptance? How have they helped you to take actions that change the things you can? Eric and Spencer were invited to share at an online AA conference as the Al-Anon speakers. Eric chose to talk about awareness, and Spencer about acceptance. Naturally we both included the “3 A's”, Awareness,...

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Letting Go – 379 Mar 23, 2022

What do you want to let go of? What is preventing you from completely letting go? Eric was inspired by a meditation he heard on the Insight Timer app, titled She Let Go. A very rough outline of our conversation follows: Readings and Links We read from Reaching for Personal Freedom, the Step 1 chapter;...

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Fireflies – Recovery of a Marriage – 378 Mar 13, 2022

Al Anon Courage to Change: “We all have dark times in our lives, but the journey to better times is often what makes us happier, stronger people. When we stop expecting instant relief, we may come to believe that where we are today is exactly where our higher power would have us be.” Lea's world...

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Whether the Alcoholic is Still Drinking or Not – 377 Mar 02, 2022

Our suggested opening tells us that “we can find contentment, and even happiness whether the alcoholic is drinking or not.” How does this happen? How can we deal with the “isms” of the disease in a way that is healthy for ourselves? Nancy joins Spencer to share how this has been true in her life....

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My Husband – 376 Feb 23, 2022

A listener sent me a deeply moving and personal share about her life with her husband. She recorded the share shortly before attending his memorial service, after his death from the disease of alcoholism. She tells us of how he hid his drinking from her, and how it was not until he was nearly dead...

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Feeling new in recovery – 375 Feb 18, 2022

I recently received an email from a person who is in early recovery. He is struggling with getting really into the program, and listed these issues he has. Almost everybody member of my home group has years of recovery on me. It seems that everybody has taken the steps at least one time, and I...

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My Recovery is not Conditional on Yours – 374 Feb 14, 2022

Is your recovery dependent on someone else’s? How does this hurt? Ester's partner decided to stop attending AA. How did she react? How did she use this to strengthen her own recovery? She paused (and let her HP in). She let him speak and did not say anything that would harm. The next challenge: he...

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Gratitude 2021 – 373 Jan 16, 2022

In November, I asked the members of the email list, “what are you grateful for today?” These are your responses. I had hoped to get them out shortly after the US Thanksgiving holiday, but as life happened, that didn’t happen. Maybe this is a reminder that we can practice gratitude every day. I said this...

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Embracing Risk – 372 Jan 05, 2022

How do you embrace risk in your life today? How has this changed in recovery? Why can risk-taking be healthy? Spencer and SA explore these questions and others. “A ship in the harbor is safe—but that’s not what ships are for.” John A. Shedd Social psychology research tells us that at the end of their...

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Reflection on a loss, December 19, 2021 Dec 20, 2021

My mother breathed her last on this day. I reflect on her life, what she meant to me, and what seeds she planted in me.

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A Teacher in Recovery – 371 Dec 11, 2021

Are you a teacher? How has recovery changed the way you teach? What recovery tools do you use in the classroom? Rajni joins Spencer to share her experience as a teacher, both before and after entering recovery. Our conversation started with a bit of Rajni's story. Characteristics that she identified in herself, pre-recovery, included these:...

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Gentleness with Myself – 370 Nov 19, 2021

BHow have you treated yourself meanly or roughly? How have you learned to be gentle with yourself? Anna joins Spencer to talk about why being gentle with herself is so important in her recovery, and how an experience at Christmas revealed this to her and produced a spiritual awakening. Our conversation is guided by these...

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Healing through Writing – 369 Nov 03, 2021

Lisa grew up in alcoholism, addiction and abuse. She is finding healing through writing a novel. Content warning: Lisa talks about some of the abuse she survived as a child. Here are some of the questions that guided our conversation. Please tell us your story. What inspired you to write? How are your experiences reflected...

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A Disease of Relationships – 368 Oct 06, 2021

We say that alcoholism is a disease of relationships. What do we mean by this? How are our relationships damaged and how can we recover from that damage? Spencer and Megan used these questions to guide our conversation. How has alcoholism affected your self-esteem? What were the results? Share your experience of forming and sustaining...

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The Gift of Pain – 367 Sep 17, 2021

How is it possible for our pain to become our gain? Andrea’s story illuminates this transformation. Andrea from Adult Child Podcast joins us to talk about how her greatest pain became her greatest gain. When Andrea was several years sober, she realized that recovery had not magically fixed all her problems. She tells us about...

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Honesty – 366 Sep 06, 2021

What does a lack of honesty with ourselves and others look like? What does the program teach us about the importance of honesty to our recovery? Ester and Spencer share their experience, strength, and hope on the topic of honesty, roughly following this outline. Honesty before recovery – or was there? How were we dishonest...

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In All Our Affairs – 365 Aug 20, 2021

Step 12 suggests that we “practice these principles in all our affairs”. What does this mean to you? How do you do it? Definition: principle a fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behavior or for a chain of reasoning. The AA 12 principles from the book...

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Fear of Abandonment – 364 Aug 07, 2021

Do you fear being abandoned? How has it driven your life? How can recovery free you from this fear? Shannon says, I wanted to speak about the topic of Fear of Abandonment because (due to my childhood trauma) it’s a fear that I have struggled against my entire life and recently in 2020 was forced...

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Finding Compassion for the Alcoholic – 363 Jul 17, 2021

How did I find compassion for the actively drinking alcoholic in my life? At first, I had no compassion. I had anger, frustration, and frustration, instead. Why would I want to find compassion? The two big reasons were, for me and for her. For me—I could start to release my anger, resentment, and frustration, or...

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Avoidance (running away from scary feelings) – 362 Jul 01, 2021

Do you find yourself avoiding scary feelings? Are you running away from things you don’t want to face? How are you facing your fears instead? Definitions We start our conversation with Kathy and Sabah with a couple of definitions, recognizing that pausing is healthy, while avoiding is usually not. Pause: interrupt action or speech briefly. –...

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Sympathy, Empathy, and Compassion – 361 Jun 17, 2021

Tradition 5 tells us that part of our recovery is in finding compassion for our alcoholic friends and relatives. What is compassion, and how is it different from sympathy or empathy? Definitions (from Chopra.com) To feel sympathy, it means you are able to understand what the person is feeling. Empathy is viscerally feeling what another...

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Music in Recovery – 360 May 30, 2021

How has music supported you in recovery? What inspiration do you find there? Are there certain songs that have become the soundtrack of your life? Sonia Lee is a singer and song writer in recovery. We talked about her recovery journey and her recovery songs. Sonia's recovery started when she realized she was alcoholic. But,...

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The Effects of Recovery – 359 May 18, 2021

How have you experienced the effects of alcoholism or addiction transforming into the effects of recovery? Colleen suggested this topic, writing “we often hear about the effects of this disease, but I've never heard the phrase, the effects of recovery. It has really made me reflect, as I have found over the past couple of...

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Al-Anon after Divorce – 358 May 12, 2021

What is it like to keep working your recovery program after divorcing? Pat joined Spencer to talk about her experience. She fully recognizes that both she and her ex-husband contributed to the factors leading to their divorce. She says that she “did not want my relationship to be the example to my children of what...

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CODA saved her life – Geraldine – 357 May 01, 2021

Can CODA help when you grow up in dysfunction, and then love a controlling, gaslighting partner as an adult? As a child, Geraldine lived in fear of her mother's anger, which often resulted in beatings. She became her siblings' protector, and felt that it was her job to soothe her mother's moods, and to take...

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Domestic Violence and Other Unacceptable Behavior – 356 Apr 24, 2021

If Acceptance is the key to serenity, what do you do about unacceptable behavior and domestic violence? Kathy H joined the Recovery Show to talk about her experience with domestic violence, and the strength and hope she has found in recovery. We started with some definitions for unacceptable behavior and domestic violence. Definitions Definition of...

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A Son’s Addiction – 355 Apr 14, 2021

How can recognizing powerlessness over a child’s addiction make it easier to detach and not enable them? Jacob joins us to tell his story and how he stopped trying fruitlessly to fix his son's addiction. He picked a couple of readings from ODAT — Jan 29 and Feb 11, saying that they have been and...

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Making Decisions – 354 Apr 09, 2021

Do you have trouble making decisions? What have you learned in recovery helps you make decisions? Eric, Spencer, and several of you share about indecision and making decisions. Our conversation was guided by these questions. Definition: a choice that you make about something after thinking about several possibilities the ability to decide quickly and without...

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Voices – 353 Mar 29, 2021

What is on your mind? This episode is built from your voices, sharing your experience, strength, and hope. Sharing your dilemmas and questions. Readings and Links Some of you sent suggestions of books or other resources. Many Voices, One Journey Al-Anon's story of growth and recovery as experienced by individual members and the fellowship as...

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Inner Child – 352 Mar 09, 2021

How is your Inner Child? What can you do to heal its hurts and help it grow? Becky joined Spencer to talk about how she has come to know and heal her inner child. Our conversation was guided by these questions. I’m not really familiar with inner child work, can you tell me briefly what...

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Feeling my feelings – 351 Feb 15, 2021

How are my recovery tools helping me to live with grief and loss? How am I feeling my feelings today? My father died a few days ago. I am grieving his loss. Because of my work in recovery, I can feel my feelings. I don't have to deny them, and stuff them. What a gift!

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My Life was Unmanageable – 350 Feb 08, 2021

My life was out of control, but I still thought I could control my loved one’s drinking. Cold Wednesday in April. The beginning of the story but also the middle of the story. Where is the beginning? When I learned, as a child, to take care of everyone else first? That I couldn’t be happy...

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Service in Al-Anon – 349 Feb 01, 2021

“When I got busy, I got better”. I’ve heard this as an encouragement to service in recovery. What is service, and how can it support my recovery? Spencer and Ester talk about our experience with service, with support from almost a dozen listeners. Our discussion was guided by but certainly not limited to these questions....

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Teen Depression and Self-harm – 348 Jan 08, 2021

How can we use our recovery tools to help us when our loved ones are suffering from mental illness? Is it harder when our loved one is our child? Roberta shares her experience, strength, and hope around these questions. Our conversation was guided by these questions. How/when did you come to Al-Anon? Give as much...

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If I am not the Problem, there is no Solution – 347 Dec 18, 2020

If I’m not the problem, then there is no solution. Huh? How does this make sense for my recovery. Spencer, Eric and several listeners share our thoughts about this idea. How would you have felt about this statement before you came into recovery? In what ways were you trying to fix other people’s problems? Which...

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Gratitude 2020 – 346 Nov 26, 2020

What are you grateful for right now? Where do you have gratitude that isunexpected? How has the practice of gratitude helped you throughturbulent, stressful events and times? My gratitude this year is centered on people in my life. My brother, who is taking care of my aging, ailing parents. He is there when they have...

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Slow Recovery – 345 Nov 23, 2020

Recovery takes time. That’s a good thing. Why? Ester leads us through a conversation about slow recovery, guided by these notes. Recovery, like everything in life, has its ebbs and flows. An “ebb” in its noun form is defined in the Meriam Webster dictionary as “the reflux of the tide toward the sea” and as...

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Calming the Anxiety — 344 Nov 09, 2020

This has been a rough week for many of us in the United States, and outside the United States. As political processes wind their way through; as the pandemic is escalating; I wanted to take a moment to think about the ways in which I have used, and in which you can use program tools...

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There are no experts in Al-Anon — 343 Nov 06, 2020

I heard someone in a meeting say, “the great thing is that there are no experts in Al-Anon.” What does this mean and why is it a great thing? Aren’t we all experts on our own stories? One expression of this idea is found in Tradition 8: Al-Anon Twelfth Step work should remain forever non-professional,...

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Co-parenting with an Alcoholic – 342 Oct 17, 2020

Are you struggling with co-parenting your children with an alcoholic? What are your challenges? What tools have you found? Join Lynne and Linzi as they share their experience in a conversation guided by these questions. What was it like before, co-parenting with an alcoholic before recovery? What made you realize that this wasn’t how you...

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Activism and Recovery – Your Voices – 341 Oct 09, 2020

In episode 337, I talked with Amanda and Becky about how recovery and activism intersected for them. I got a lot of feedback about that episode with some very thoughtful sharing. This episode has your voices, without any discussion or comment by me. I want to thank everyone who contributed. You have given me a...

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Married to an Alcoholic Minister – Barbara K – 340 Sep 24, 2020

What is it like being married to an alcoholic minister who is beloved of his congregation? How might it cause you to behave in crazy ways? Today I am sharing with you a talk by Barbara K, recorded in 1993. I listened to this recently and I thought she captured so well the ways in...

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It’s Not Your Fault – 339 Sep 03, 2020

Do you feel that IT is your fault? How can recovery help you understand what is really your responsibility and what is absolutely not? Spencer and Eric discuss these questions along with shares from many of you. This topic was inspired by the scene “it's not your fault” from the movie Good Will Hunting. A...

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Wisdom to Know the Difference – 338 Aug 21, 2020

The serenity prayer asks for the wisdom to know the difference. What does this mean? And how does it happen? Ester joined me for a conversation about these questions. We thought we might structure our conversation by starting with the idea of “Knowing when I don’t know.” Then how “wisdom to know the difference” in...

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Activism and Recovery with Amanda and Becky – 337 Aug 03, 2020

How can recovery, the serenity prayer, and the traditions of Al Anon guide me in working for societal change? When should I “let go and let God” and when should I work to “change the things I can”? Spencer, Amanda, and Becky have a wide-ranging discussion around these questions and others. We were joined virtually...

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Irritable and Unreasonable – 336 Jul 14, 2020

Do you find yourself becoming irritable and unreasonable. Maybe without knowing it? How does your program of recovery help you out of that? Eric, Spencer, and several of you share our experience, strength, and hope around these questions and many others. The suggested Al-Anon/Alateen opening says Our thinking becomes distorted by trying to force solutions,...

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The Impact of Isolation — 335 Jul 03, 2020

Humans are “obligatorily gregarious”. We need other people. When we don't have the connections we need, we suffer. We suffer emotionally with depression, anxiety, and hyper-vigilance. But we can also suffer physically with symptoms like high blood pressure and heart disease. In these days, we are all isolated. Some more, some less. Our usual ways...

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Many Voices – 334 Jun 18, 2020

Once again, we hear your voices. Topics range through Meetings as Medicine, Step 7, patience and tolerance, loss, and the length of shares. Readings and Links A listener wrote about using Discord for recovery meetings. Eric sent us a link to an Insight Timer meditation about patience. I talked about the reading from Hope For...

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Patience and Tolerance – 333 Jun 06, 2020

Are you finding it difficult to be patient? How are you tolerant of a world that isn’t going the way you want it to go? Definitions Tolerance is a personality trait. It reflects an attitude of open-mindedness, an acceptance of the behavior, beliefs and values of other. It is a term that is associated with...

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Steps 1, 2 and 3 – 332 May 28, 2020

Spencer was a guest on the Sober Speak podcast, with a conversation about Steps 1, 2, and 3 in Al-Anon. Sober Speak has mostly an AA focus, but the host, John M does sometimes invite members of Al-Anon to share their experience, strength, and hope. We talked about how I suddenly felt my powerlessness one...

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Choosing Love Over Fear One Day at a Time – Julie L – 331 May 15, 2020

Julie joins us to tell her story. She grew up with an alcoholic father and an “untreated Al-Anon” mother. As a child, from the age of 10, she thought it was her job to mediate between her parents, and especially to try to help “settle” the arguments they had. Now, she recognizes that it never...

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Boundaries Today – 330 May 08, 2020

Why are boundaries important to me right now? How am I setting and keeping healthy boundaries, today? A couple of listeners shared their experience of boundaries. Spencer's discussion is guided by this outline. How Al-Anon Works, Chapter 11 Detachment, Love, and Forgiveness has a section titled Personal Boundaries. “… many of us find it difficult...

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The God Word – 329 Apr 30, 2020

Did the God language in the 12 steps put you off? How have you worked this program of recovery in that case? Spencer and 3 listeners contribute their experience of working the twelve steps of recovery, even though the God language was not “working” for us. We share the ways in which we were able...

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Hope means possibility – 328 Apr 24, 2020

How do we find hope when it all seems hopeless? Eric and Spencer have a conversation about hope, inspired by these discussion points and questions. Hope definition a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. want something to happen or be the case. Often when we say “hope” we really mean...

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Fear – 327 Apr 10, 2020

What do you fear? What tools do you use to let go of, move through, and live with fear? Barb joins me to talk about fear. We had scheduled this conversation before the Corona Virus pandemic was declared, but it seems so appropriate now. We roughly followed this outline. What fears did you have before...

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Dual Program Members – 326 Apr 01, 2020

Are you a member of more than one recovery program? How do you balance them? How do they support each other? Listeners and members of more than one recovery program share their experience. We hear from members of Al-Anon Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) Overeaters Anonymous (OA) Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) Adult Children of Alcoholics...

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Recovery in a time of Isolation – 325 Mar 26, 2020

Are you “sheltering in place”? How are you able to participate in recovery when you can’t meet face to face with other members? Spencer and Marylou discuss how they are experiencing recovery during this time of isolation and “sheltering in place” during the COVID-19 pandemic. Our conversation was sparked by an email that Marylou sent...

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Fear and Anxiety – 324 Mar 20, 2020

In a recent online meeting, the almost unanimous choice of topic was fear and anxiety. We were all feeling it in one way or another. We started with a reading from Courage to Change, January 10. It talks about “mental static” of worry, and then says “I'm learning to focus all my attention on this...

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Josh R – Recovery Dharma – 323 Mar 17, 2020

Do you struggle with the God language in the 12 steps? Josh did. His inability to fully engage with the steps was probably a factor in his relapses. Josh talks with us about a couple of recovery programs based on Buddhist principles, centered on meditative practices. These programs are Recovery Dharma and Refuge Recovery. Our...

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Online meetings Mar 15, 2020

Much of the information here is (at best) out of date. The authoritative source for online Al-Anon meetings is on the Al-Anon World Service website: Al-Anon electronic and phone meetings. The original blog post was created March 15, 2020, and has been updated sporadically since then. As we are moving into a time of social...

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Deborah C – Hands Off Pays Off – 322 Mar 12, 2020

Although Deborah came from an alcoholic family, and married an alcoholic, she only came to Al-Anon when her son was having problems with alcohol and drugs. And only because a colleague told her of his experience with his son's problems. He didn't tell her what Al-Anon was about, he just said “go”. So she did....

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Diana H – Born Into Crazy – 321 Mar 06, 2020

Trigger warning: Diana's story includes some violent and abusive episodes from her childhood. You can skip forward to about 21:00 to avoid those descriptions. Diana H had a turbulent childhood. Her mother suffered from mental illness. Her house was full of alcohol, drugs, and violence. We talk about how her work in recovery has helped...

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Surrender to Win – 320 Feb 25, 2020

What does it mean to “Surrender to Win”? Have you had this experience? Barb and Spencer dig into these questions. How does this topic of “surrender to win” speak to you? A definition of surrender is “to give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favor of another” What have you given up completely? ...

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More voices – your sharing – 319 Feb 20, 2020

Sharing experience, strength, and hope in your voices. Thoughts on apologies and amends. A mother wants to help her adult son who drinks too much. A survivor muses on the possible benefits of trauma. What is this detachment thing, anyway? Learning to talk, trust, and feel when the family “training” was “don't talk, don't trust,...

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A Walk in the Woods on a Snowy Day — 318 Feb 10, 2020

Saturday morning, I awoke to fresh snow. I had a fairly hectic and noisy time going to the gym, getting ready for the day, etc. Then I stepped out into a lovely, hushed silence. I decided I needed more of that, and later went to a nature area for a walk in the woods. I...

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Peggy G – Speaker – 317 Feb 05, 2020

Today, I’m sharing with you a talk by Peggy G. I hope you’ll enjoy Peggy’s sense of humor as much as I did. Peggy talks about feeling rejected as a child and about getting married early after “finding love in the back seat of a Ford.” She felt she had a “hole in her gut”...

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Men in Al-Anon – 316 Jan 29, 2020

Men are a minority in Al-Anon. Is this a problem? An asset? What is your experience? Join Spencer and several guests, both men and women, as we share our experience. Some of the topics we address are these: What is your experience as a man in Al-Anon? What difficulties and challenges have you experienced? Did...

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Belonging — 315 Jan 21, 2020

The only requirement for membership in Al-Anon is that there is a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. How many other groups are so inclusive? How does this help you? How is this a challenge for you? Today is MLK day, the celebration of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr’s birthday. Perhaps naturally, my...

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Integrity – 314 Jan 14, 2020

What is integrity and what does it have to do with recovery? Definitions the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness the state of being whole and undivided “the root of integrity is about doing the right thing even when it’s not acknowledged by others, or convenient for you.” (Psychology Today...

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Being Heard – 313 Jan 09, 2020

Is your voice heard, even when others disagree? Why is it important that everyone has an opportunity to be heard? How do you practice listening in your life? Meetings? Family? Work? Concept 5 states “The rights of appeal and petition protect minorities and insure that they be heard.” Spencer and Eric share how this concept...

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Bill W with Lois W, Ebby T, Sister Ignatius and Mort J — 312 Dec 31, 2019

I'm pleased to share this recording of Bill Wilson, co-founder of AA, speaking at the AA International Convention in Long Beach, CA, in 1960. The recording includes brief remarks by Lois Wilson, co-founder of Al-Anon; Ebby T, who introduced Bill to the Oxford groups; and Sister Ignatia, an early supporter of AA, who cared for...

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Holiday Toolkit – 311 Dec 24, 2019

What’s in your holiday toolkit? Do you dread spending holidays with family? What tools have you found to make the experience tolerable or even joyful? (Realistic) expectations. Recognize when you are feeling stressed (HALTS?) Escape plans. Literature. Locate and plan to attend meetings if you will be out of your usual area. Phone list. Arrange...

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Your voices — 310 Dec 11, 2019

This episode is created by your voices, both written and recorded. Sam asks why some members shy away from service, while she finds it a vital part of her recovery. Penelope and Jessica found value in Episode 308, Program Tools. Natalie asks for some experience, strength, and hope, living with active alcoholism while maintaining a...

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Gratitude 2019 – 309 Dec 03, 2019

Every year around Thanksgiving, I give special attention to the things that I am grateful for. This is my list for 2019. This year I created an "A to Z" gratitude list. Most of these are gifts I got from this program of recovery.

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Our Program Tools – 308 Nov 22, 2019

The Al-Anon program provides so many tools. There are slogans and steps, and new ways of approaching life’s troubles. Which ones do you use comfortably? Are there any you wish you had used, but didn’t remember to pick them up? Marylou, Pat, and Kelly join me to talk about their favorite tools of the program.

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Aaron J — It’s not about me — 307 Nov 12, 2019

Today, I am pleased to share with you a talk by Aaron J, speaking in 2012. I identified with his certainty that it was his “job” in life to take care of everyone around him. I share his frustration when those same people didn’t do what he knew was best for them.

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Karen B – Living the Traditions – 306 Oct 30, 2019

Karen shared her story in episode 262, Third Time is the Charm. Things have changed since then, and we start by catching up on recent events. Then we move into a discussion about how she (and I) use Traditions 1 and 2 in our lives.

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A Respite – 305 Oct 22, 2019

What does recovery have to do with a weekend "up north"?

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Take it or Leave it – 304 Oct 11, 2019

We often say “take what you like and leave the rest.” How can I apply this concept of “take it or leave it” in my life?

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Michele B – My Solutions were my Problems – 303 Sep 24, 2019

Michele B has an inspiring story of adversity and recovery. Note: The original posting of this talk had audio “glitches” that made it unlistenable for some. I believe I have corrected them here. Readings and Links Ashley told us about online Alateen “chat” meetings, and sent a link to the Al-Anon/Alateen web site, where you...

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Jennifer – Free from Obsession – 302 Sep 07, 2019

Jennifer's adult son has been drinking alcoholically for his entire adult life, some 30 years. She wrote and offered to tell her story, where she is now living a wonderful life, free of the obsession to do something. She loves him, she is concerned about his well-being and health, but that doesn't consume her life...

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Geneviève – Together we can make it – 301 Aug 29, 2019

Geneviève started recovery at the age of 14 as a member of Alateen. There, she found a family she had never had. She didn't think she needed Alateen, but there was something there that called to her. Maybe at first it was just the community – the people who welcomed her and hugged her (although...

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What you found here – 300 Aug 20, 2019

The Recovery Show has reached the grand age of 300 … episodes. Or, if you prefer, over 6 1/2 years. I asked you to tell me what you found here, what brought you here, what keeps you coming back. And about 30 of you answered, with only about 2 weeks notice! So, what did you...

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How to Sabotage a Relationship – 299 Aug 07, 2019

In this recording from an IDAA (International Doctors in AA) conference in 2004, Tom and Gail H share their experience, strength and hope about how they sabotaged their relationship and how they repaired it in recovery. Upcoming: our 300th episode Our 300th episode is just around the corner! I’d love you to share how The...

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Saying No — No is a complete sentence – 298 Jul 31, 2019

Is it hard for you to say “no”? Do you avoid responding instead of saying “no”? Or, maybe you say “yes” when you want to say “no”. “No” is a boundary. Typically in response to a request or requirement to do something we do not want to agree to do and is not ours to...

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Mary Pearl T on Step 12 – Episode 297 Jul 24, 2019

Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Join us for the conclusion of Mary Pearl T's workshop on the 12 steps. She clearly illustrates, with warmth and wit, how she understands and lives...

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Spiritual Awakenings and Experiences – 296 Jul 09, 2019

What was your spiritual awakening? What spiritual experiences have you had? Step 12 starts with “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps…”. The AA “Big Book” speaks of “a spiritual experience” as a key to recovery. What's going on here? Do we have to have some sudden “white light” experience to...

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Kerri K – Speaker talk – 295 Jul 03, 2019

A listener and erstwhile guest, Carrie, suggested this talk. She writes, Such an incredible story! Chock full of life experiences, wisdom, humor and hope. I’ve listened to it several times over the years. Makes me want to go hike in Phoenix and get a teddy bear to pass around. 😊 Upcoming An upcoming topic is...

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Spencer and Amy — a couple in recovery — 294 Jun 25, 2019

Recently, my wife, Amy, and I were guests on the podcast Sober Speak. This is our sharing — what it was like, what happened, and what it is like now. We spoke both of our own experience and of our shared experience. I hope that something we said connects with you.

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Lynne – Grief can be a wonderful thing – 293 Jun 19, 2019

Lynne tells her story – what it was like, what happened, and what it's like now. She touches on grief both before and after entering recovery, on parenting, and on co-parenting with an alcoholic. Lynne tells of the alcohol fueled death of a close friend, and of the later crisis that brought her into Al-Anon....

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Sayings, Quotes, Proverbs, and Parables – 292 Jun 12, 2019

You can also read a transcript of this episode. Do you have a few sayings or quotes that support your recovery? How do you use them? Spencer and Eric explore a long list of sayings, quotes, proverbs, and parables. We talked about all of these, some at length, and some quite briefly. Some of these...

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Step 11 with Mary Pearl T – 291 May 30, 2019

How have you deepened your conscious contact with your higher power? What is your practice of prayer and meditation? Mary Pearl T leads us on an exploration of Step 11, “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us...

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But One Purpose – 290 May 21, 2019

Our 5th tradition says, Each Al-Anon Family Group has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. How do we do this? How has this supported and worked in your recovery? In full, it reads, Each Al-Anon Family Group has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps...

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Applying the Serenity Prayer – 289 May 14, 2019

How do you have the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference? I reflect on how many times I have applied the serenity prayer during a weekend vacation. Upcoming Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your...

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Mary Pearl T on Step 10 – 288 Apr 30, 2019

Step 10 says “We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.” Mary Pearl T gives us her usual insightful and humorous take on this step. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

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Marc and Michele’s son is in prison – 287 Apr 24, 2019

Is someone you love facing jail or prison because of their drinking or addiction? How do you live through something like that? Michele and Marc share their experience, strength, and hope. Their son started drinking and using drugs in high school, and it's been quite a ride since then. He is now in prison. They...

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Mary Pearl T on Steps 8 and 9 – 286 Apr 09, 2019

Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Mary Pearl does her usual in-depth, funny, and moving presentation of these steps. Readings and...

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Contentment and even Happiness – 285 Apr 02, 2019

The Suggested Al-Anon Welcome says, in part “… it is possible to find contentment, and even happiness, whether the alcoholic is drinking or not.” How can this happen? I was recently talking with an Al-Anon friend whose loved one had relapsed. My friend wondered if it was possible to have a life that wasn’t full...

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Acronyms and Alliterations – Episode 284 Mar 27, 2019

Do you QTIP? Have you practiced the 3 A's? Spencer and Eric, with support from many listeners, talk about some of the acronyms (such as HALT or FEAR) and alliterations (3 C's, 4 M's) that help us to remember the important principles of the program. As Eric says, “these are like pocket change — they're...

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March Roundup 2019 – Episode 283 Mar 12, 2019

Have you attended an AA or Al-Anon convention? My wife and I went to the March Roundup in Detroit, so I thought I'd give you a little trip report. If you haven't been to a convention, I encourage you to find one near you and go. Not only is it fun, but a weekend of...

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Mary Pearl T on Step 7 – Episode 282 Mar 05, 2019

Please enjoy Mary Pearl T's thoughts on Step 7, “Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings.” Upcoming Upcoming topics include “acronyms and alliterations”. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com to share your favorite Al-Anon acronym, such as QTIP (quit taking it personally), or an alliteration such as the 3 C's (didn't cause it,...

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How do you trust? – Episode 281 Feb 26, 2019

When do you decide to trust (or not to trust) someone? How do we trust others in the program? What fears might stop us from trusting? What is trust? (noun) firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. (verb) believe in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of. How do...

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S-Anon – Episode 280 Feb 19, 2019

Brian joins The Recovery Show to talk about his experience in S-Anon. What is S-Anon? It is a 12-step program, similar to Al-Anon, for those who have been affected by another person's sexual addiction. Brian introduces the S-Anon program, and talks about his personal experience of finding recovery in that program. We look at ways...

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Do you like yourself? – Episode 279 Feb 13, 2019

Do you like yourself? Can you love yourself? Can you trust yourself? In a recent meeting, the topic was Step 5, “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” One member shared that she often had a hard time even liking herself, and that this was a...

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What do we do here? – Episode 278 Feb 05, 2019

What is this podcast about? We’re not Al-Anon, exactly. What are we? I got a letter from a listener who asked some questions. It made me think that maybe it's time (again?) to talk about what The Recovery Show is, and what it isn't. Why did we create The Recovery Show? We had been sharing...

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Bob S Jr Talk – Episode 277 Jan 29, 2019

The son of “Doctor Bob”, Bob S., Jr., in a talk from an Al-Anon conference in 2003. A listener wrote about coincidences and recommended episode 489 of This American Life, “No Coincidence, No Story!” Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment...

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Would you rather be right or happy? – Episode 276 Jan 21, 2019

What is your first thought when you hear this question? Do you believe that “right” is “truth” and that there is only one possible “right answer” (way to do something, opinion about a topic, etc.)? Do you have “black and white” thinking? Why? What would it take to see the world in shades of gray...

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Kate C grew up with alcoholism – Episode 275 Jan 18, 2019

Kate C shares her story, experience, strength, and hope. She grew up with an alcoholic mother, in a family that separated when she was 8. She didn't feel safe as a child and so decided she needed to take care of her siblings, especially her younger brother. The “isms” she learned in this environment came...

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Mary Pearl T on Step 6 – Episode 274 Jan 09, 2019

What does it mean to be “entirely ready”? How can we trust our higher power to remove our defects of character? Mary Pearl T continues her workshop with Step 6, Became entirely ready to have God remove all our defects of character. How is her anger like a volcano? And why is she talking about...

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The Year in Recovery 2018 – Episode 273 Jan 02, 2019

I hear from you about what happened in your recovery in 2018, and what you are aspiring to in 2019. Readings and links I read from One Day at a Time in Al-Anon, January 1 and December 31. Callers and I referred to several episodes of this podcast: 219, 3 P’s: Perfection, Procrastination, Paralysis 29, Progress, not Perfection...

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Peace in the Darkness – Episode 272 Dec 26, 2018

Do you feel that you are lost in the dark? Do your fears become larger and more real in darkness? Can darkness ever provide comfort and peace? My musings on darkness were inspired by but don't really follow this outline: End of the year Shortest day / longest night Darkness -> fear/anxiety We light candles,...

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Mary Pearl T on Step 5 – Episode 271 Dec 18, 2018

Why does Step 5 ask us to share “the exact nature of our wrongs”? What do we gain from this? Continuing our series of talks by Mary Pearl T, we come to Step 5, “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” I hope that her openness,...

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Do you Believe? – Episode 270 Dec 11, 2018

Do you believe all things happen for a reason?Do you believe that God can do for us things that we can’t do for ourselves?Do you believe in coincidence, or that there is no such thing as coincidence? What “higher power moments” have you experienced? (Step 2 moments)What happens when you view them as miracles rather...

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Gratitude 2018 – Episode 269 Nov 27, 2018

What are you grateful for in 2018? Sure, I can write a gratitude list. I am grateful for those of you who sent in your expressions of gratitude. Readings I read from One Day at a Time in Al-Anon, May 5. Kelly recommended a book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, by Lindsay C. Gibson. Cristianne ordered Knock Knock...

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Mary Pearl T on Step 4 – Episode 268 Nov 17, 2018

As promised, here is a presentation by Mary Pearl T on Step 4, “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

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What about Gratitude – Episode 267 Nov 06, 2018

What about gratitude? How do you practice gratitude? Or, do you more often forget? At two meetings this week, I was reminded of the importance of practicing gratitude in my life. Saturday morning, we were working from the Al-Anon 4th Step workbook, Blueprint for Progress. Once a month, we read a few questions from this...

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Singleness of Purpose – Episode 266 Oct 30, 2018

Why do we gather in Al-Anon groups? How do we maintain our singleness of purpose? It’s been hard this week not to lose hope and to give in to despair about the divisiveness and even hate that seems to be the norm for society today. It’s brought me to reflect again on how amazing this...

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In all our affairs: Step 1 plus dementia – Episode 265 Oct 23, 2018

Step 12 asks us to “practice these principles in all our affairs”. This has led me to a new insight into how Step 1 is active in my life today. In a recent meeting, we read the Step 1 chapter from our book Paths to Recovery. I had recently returned from visiting my parents. I suddenly...

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Mary Pearl T on Step 3 – Episode 264 Oct 09, 2018

As promised, here is a presentation by Mary Pearl T on Step 3, “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right...

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Mary Pearl T on Step 2 – Episode 263 Oct 02, 2018

As promised, here is a presentation by Mary Pearl T on Step 2, “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” Our topic for next week is Step 3. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment...

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Karen B – Third time is the charm – Episode 262 Sep 26, 2018

This week, Karen B tells her story and shares her experience, strength, and hope. Karen grew up in a loving family that nonetheless carried the family disease — in adult children of alcoholics. Her aunt took her to Alateen. She says she loved the slogans, but she didn't stick with it. In her early twenties,...

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Enabling or Empowering? – Episode 261 Sep 19, 2018

How have you enabled your loved ones’ alcoholism? What is enabling, anyway? How do you know when you’re doing it and when you are empowering them, instead? What does the dictionary say? Merriam-Webster 1 a : to provide with the means or opportunity: training that enables people to earn a living b : to make...

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Meditation on September – Episode 260 Sep 11, 2018

Read a transcript of this episode.What does September mean to you? How do you handle times of transition? I've been thinking about September. I guess it started with my wife commenting, as we walked to the car, “This is the first sweater day.” She had that tone of voice, like it was the worst thing....

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Mary Pearl T, Step 1 – Episode 259 Sep 05, 2018

Mary Pearl T shares on Step 1, “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.” Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

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Perspective – Episode 258 Aug 28, 2018

What does it mean to “place our problem in its true perspective”? Can a change in perspective change everything? Our suggested opening says “as we learn to place our problem in its true perspective, we find it loses its power to dominate our thoughts and our lives”. What is perspective? From dictionary.com: the state of...

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I am Powerless – Episode 257 Aug 22, 2018

Read a transcript of this episode. A “first step” meeting came at just the right time for me, this weekend. My mother had fallen and broke her leg. She lives almost 500 miles away, and I am powerless over the fact that she broke her leg, over the treatment that she gets, and over how...

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Tom – His sister needed Al-Anon – Episode 256 Aug 16, 2018

Tom grew up in a loving, chaotic family. As an adult, he found recovery for his alcoholism, but didn't know how to cope with the alcoholics around him. It wasn't until he decided that his sister needed Al-Anon, that he started attending regularly, and carrying the message back to her. Eventually, he started to see...

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Speaker: Ann Marie R – Episode 255 Aug 07, 2018

This week, I'm sharing a talk by Ann Marie R. I really enjoyed her humor, but also her ability to find gifts in troubles. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

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Parents of teen alcoholics and addicts – Episode 254 Jul 29, 2018

How can you detach from your teen alcoholic? What is your real responsibility when your child is an addict? How can Al-Anon help? Mary and Ellen talk about their experiences as parents of teenage alcoholics and addicts. They share what they learned, and how they navigated their difficulties, fears, and hopes. Our discussion was grounded...

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Denial and Acceptance – Episode 253 Jul 05, 2018

Did you admit to yourself or others the presence of alcoholism in your life? Why not? What happened when you broke through your denial into acceptance? What is it? Do we have to be somehow aware of a problem to be in denial? Definition from Merriam-Webster: psychology : a defense mechanism in which confrontation with...

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Spencer on Sober Speak – Episode 252 Jun 25, 2018

Spencer was recently a guest on the podcast Sober Speak. At Sober Speak, you will find podcasts of people sharing their story of recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous, much like a speaker meeting. These men and women tell us about their experience, strength, and hope centered around the 12 steps of AA. Of course, he was...

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Spirit in Action Interview – Episode 251 Jun 12, 2018

Spencer was recently interviewed on the Spirit in Action radio show and podcast. Spirit in Action brings you stories of people living lives of fruitful service, of peace, community, compassion, creative action and progressive efforts. We will trace the spiritual roots that support and nourish them in their service. Above all, we will seek out Light,...

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Tom W talk – Episode 250 Jun 05, 2018

This talk by Tom W, a member of Alcoholics Anonymous had so much recovery wisdom, I felt compelled to share it with you. I've heard it a few times already and every time, I get new insights. I was astounded to hear that a priest had trouble with Steps 2 and 3. And, his description...

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Force and Power – Episode 249 May 29, 2018

Read a transcript of this episode. How have you given away your power? Did you lose power over your life when you tried to force solutions? How can you recover your personal power? Definitions Force: make a way through or into by physical strength, make (someone) do something against their will Power: the capacity or...

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Love, Relationships, and Step 6 – Episode 248 May 22, 2018

What do love, relationships, and Step 6 have to do with each other? Maybe everything? Sometimes events come together in my life and form a message about a new step in my recovery. That happened for me this weekend. In order to tell this story, I’m going to have to talk about some books and...

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Negative into Positive– Episode 247 May 15, 2018

Nancy S speaks on “Negative into Positive” in this talk from 1987. A listener asked about the story with the repeating phrase “maybe so, maybe not.” There are many versions of this on the internet. Here is one. What have been your experience when what you thought was a negative became a positive? Or vice-versa?...

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Why do a Moral Inventory? – Episode 246 May 08, 2018

Why do we take inventory in Al-Anon? And what is a “moral inventory” anyway? Spencer shares his answers to some questions about Step 4 from our book Paths to Recovery about the purpose of taking our own moral inventory. His answers were written in 2002, 2011, and 2018. How have they changed (or not)? The questions...

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Consequences – Episode 245 Apr 24, 2018

Do you try to reduce the consequences of your loved one’s choices and actions? Do you have trouble enforcing consequences on undesirable behavior by others? con·se·quence ˈkänsikwəns noun a result or effect of an action or condition. synonyms: result, upshot, outcome, effect, repercussion, ramification, corollary, concomitant, aftermath, after effect; Setting Consequences I have to be...

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Carl H Open Talk – Episode 244 Apr 17, 2018

Thanks to Denise, who recommended this talk. She wrote, When I heard you speak about violence in the non-alcoholic as a possible topic, I immediately thought of an Al-Anon talk I heard on the XA speakers website. It was by Carl H. from Hollywood, CA given in Calgary, Canada in 2010. He is an excellent...

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Recovery with Young Children – Episode 243 Apr 10, 2018

How do you talk to your children about recovery? What have they asked you? Spencer talks with Megan about how she talks to her children about recovery. We are joined by shares from several listeners. Our conversation was wide-ranging, touching on topics from the list below. What questions have your children asked you about Alcoholism/addiction?...

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Don’t React – Episode 242 Apr 02, 2018

Do you find yourself reacting without thinking? Does anxiety impel you to action? How can you pause and not react? A listener wrote in with these questions. How do I not act (or react) on the first impulsive thought or feeling? How do others sit with uncomfortable feelings? How do I act on God's will...

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Freedom – Episode 241 Mar 27, 2018

What does freedom mean to you? What freedom have you found in recovery? Eric suggested this topic, and we were loosely guided in our conversation by this outline. Definition of freedom? Many definitions… Do I believe that freedom only comes from being in control of my life? What does it mean to me (now) that...

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Linda L Open Talk – Episode 240 Mar 13, 2018

I'm on vacation this week, visiting my brother in southern California. I'm sharing with you the talk given by Linda L at the March Roundup 2018 in Dearborn, MI. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

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March Roundup 2018 – Episode 239 Mar 07, 2018

Have you been to an AA or Al-Anon convention or round up? What did you find there? This week, I attended “March Roundup 2018”, an AA convention with Al-Anon participation in Dearborn, Michigan. My wife and I both went and attended sessions together, with a mix of AA and Al-Anon topics and speakers. From Friday...

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Myrtle A. Open Talk – Episode 238 Feb 27, 2018

Myrtle A speaking in Lusk, WY in 1996. Myrtle says she is her own worst problem. And that she has kicked “poor me” out of the house. But she is also a thief: she will “steal your responsibility faster than you knew you had it.” I hope you enjoy and get as much from her talk...

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Healing the Trauma of Alcoholism – Episode 237 Feb 20, 2018

What trauma has alcoholism brought into your life? How are you healing from it? I didn’t realize it, but by the time I came to Al-Anon, I had been traumatized by the disease of alcoholism. Al-Anon is helping me to heal from this trauma. I recognized recently that it’s not over, even almost 16 years...

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Fear of Financial Insecurity – Episode 236 Feb 06, 2018

Do you dread mail from your bank? Are you anxious about paying the bills? Can you see a “way out” of your financial situation? What is my experience? Ignoring the problem We’re just fine. Just use the credit card. Cash advances Balance transfer Borrow from parents. Take money from retirement (is this amends?) Can I...

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Slogans part 2 – Episode 235 Feb 01, 2018

How do you use slogans? Do you “let it begin with me”? When do you ask yourself “Is it worth my serenity?” How do you “Live and let live”? 3 slogans for today. Let it begin with me. Is it worth my serenity? First things first. For each slogan: How do I understand the slogan?...

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Carol S open talk – Episode 234 Jan 23, 2018

Eric and I had planned a discussion about slogans, to follow up on our first one in episode 131. But life intervened, so we had to ask “how important is it?” and to put “first things first.” Thus, I'm sharing an open talk by Carol S of Omaha, Nebraska. Upcoming topics include some slogans. What...

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Making a Decision – Episode 233 Jan 16, 2018

Step 3 asks us to “make a decision” to turn our will to the care of a higher power. Why is this so hard for many of us? I looked back over 15 years at the 3 times I have worked step 3, and found the answers I wrote in 2002, 2011, and 2017 for...

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The Sober Parent – Episode 232 Jan 10, 2018

Are you the sober parent in an alcoholic family? What challenges have you faced? How has recovery helped you? What challenges do you face as the sober parent? Keeping your children safe Making decisions about how to parent. What happens when you disagree? Taking everything on. Anger, rage and anxiety. “Parenting” your spouse? Jealousy/resentment of...

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Begin in Stillness – Episode 231 Jan 02, 2018

Begin the new year in stillness, in contemplation of the year past and the year to come. What do you want to let go of from the last year? Write it down. Destroy what you have written (burn it, dissolve it in water, or crumple it up and throw it in the trash.) You don’t...

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The Family in Recovery – Episode 230 Dec 25, 2017

In this recording from the 2010 AA Woodstock of the South, Bob B, Polly P, Ralph W, Michael E, Bill R, and Linda B share their experiences of family recovery in Al-Anon and AA. Upcoming topics include parenting. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your experience, strength and hope. Our contact page has more...

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Holiday Expectations – Episode 229 Dec 19, 2017

As we enter into a season where many of us are celebrating an end of the year holiday — Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, New Year — what expectations do we have? What anxieties does this season provoke? Do you look forward to spending time with family, or dread it? Or are you spending this time alone?...

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Trust and Trustworthy – Episode 228 Dec 13, 2017

Do you have trouble trusting other people? Do you have people you trust? How do you know they are trustworthy? What is trust? firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. (Dictionary.com) Do you have or have had trouble trusting other people? Do you have people you trust? How do you...

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Five Years of Recovery – Episode 227 Dec 06, 2017

The first episode of The Recovery Show was posted to the internet on Dec 10, 2012. It’s hard to believe that we are now 5 years and 227 episodes in. What has 5 years of podcasting meant to me? What has it meant to you? How did it happen? 6 years ago — the only...

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Your Gratitude 2017 – Episode 226 Nov 26, 2017

I asked you to share your gratitude with me. Many of you did so, and this episode highlights your voices and your gratitudes. I also put together a playlist on Spotify, included below, that doesn't even scratch the surface of the songs about gratitude and thankfulness. I'm sure I missed your favorite, so please email...

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Parenting as an Adult Child of Alcoholics – Episode 225 Nov 22, 2017

What challenges have you found, as an adult child of an alcoholic, in parenting your own children? What program tools have you used, and how have they helped? What is your biggest challenge now? Several listeners shared their experience around these and similar questions. Some challenges were Not controlling. Anger Impatience “Hurt people hurt people”...

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Gratitude – Episode 224 Nov 14, 2017

As we approach the US holiday of Thanksgiving, I naturally think about the things I am grateful for. What are you grateful for? Here are some things I am grateful for That I have a program of recovery. Our dog is a sweetheart, so loving. That my adult children choose to spend time with me...

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Sally C. open talk Nov 06, 2017

I got a lot from this open talk by Sally C, speaking in 1984. A couple highlights from her talk: She found exactly what she was looking for in her first meeting… But what was it? What we think and what is real are two far different things … this is why maybe they shouldn't...

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(In)sanity and (Un)manageability – Episode 222 Oct 31, 2017

How has the alcoholic situation affected my sanity and my life? Have I allowed the alcoholic situation to become my Higher Power? How? How has my thinking become distorted trying to handle the alcoholic behavior? Spencer reflects on these questions. How would you answer these questions? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with...

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Fran G Open Talk – Episode 221 Oct 25, 2017

We present for you an open talk by Fran G., speaking in 1991.

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Courage – Episode 220 Oct 17, 2017

How have you experienced courage in your recovery? Which steps required courage of you? How has recovery given you courage to change the things you can? Upcoming topics include parenting. As an adult child of an alcoholic, how can you not pass that on to your own children? What have you learned in recovery about...

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3 P’s: Perfection, Procrastination, Paralysis – Episode 219 Oct 10, 2017

Do you find yourself seeking perfection? Do you procrastinate because you can't achieve it? Or, maybe, you are paralyzed because of it. We explore the 3 P's, guided by the questions below and with shares from listeners. How do Perfection, Procrastination, and Paralysis connect to each other? How have I experienced perfection(ism) in my life?...

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Charlotte I Open Talk – Episode 218 Oct 03, 2017

I really enjoyed and connected with this open talk by Charlotte I. I hope you do, too. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

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Spencer T Open Talk – Episode 217 Sep 26, 2017

An Al-Anon open talk presented by Spencer T, host of The Recovery Show, in September, 2017. The talk has the “traditional” structure: What was it like? What happened? What is it like now? It includes reflections on: Learning at a young age that it was my responsibility to “fix” everyone's problems. Learning codependent behavior —...

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Willingness – Episode 216 Sep 19, 2017

A member asked another member to be their sponsor. The response was, “Are you willing to do what I did for as long as I did it to get what I have?” What would your answer be? Where does that willingness come from? Definition What does this word mean to me today? How is that...

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Welcome – Episode 215 Sep 05, 2017

How were you made welcome to recovery? How are we welcoming to others? This episode was inspired by hearing the poem In Sweet Company by Margaret Wolff. Listen to the podcast to hear the poem, which spoke to me of the way I was welcomed and accepted in the Al-Anon program. I reflect on the poem...

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Sadness and Loneliness – Episode 214 Sep 01, 2017

How were you lonely and sad? Is there a difference between loneliness and being alone? How has recovery helped to relieve these feelings? Eric and Spencer explore loneliness, sadness, and recovery guided in part by these questions. Definitions. Sad, despair, isolated, grief, loss, How did you deal with (or not deal with) sadness before recovery?...

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Cynthia C Open Talk – Episode 213 Aug 22, 2017

An open talk by Cynthia C, speaking in 1986. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

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I didn’t get sober for this shit – Episode 212 Aug 15, 2017

What are you discarding from your life in your recovery? What are you keeping? And what do you want to add? I recently found a blog post titled “I didn't get sober for this shit.“ I related to it in so many ways, and I'll share a few with you in this episode. I'd love...

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Kindness and Courtesy – Episode 211 Aug 02, 2017

How do kindness and courtesy help us live live more serenely and happily? Can we be kind to our alcoholic or addicted loved ones? Eric and Spencer share their experiences of how kindness and courtesy work in their lives. What is kindness? What is courtesy? Ways of being kind and courteous: Smiling and saying “hi”...

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Living with death – Episode 210 Jul 27, 2017

Do you fear your loved one will die? How can recovery help us live with death of those we love? What if that death was long in the past? This show is sort of a story in 3 parts. First, Spencer talks about fearing the death of his loved one. Next, D shares her experience...

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Mary Pearl T on Steps 6-9 – Episode 209 Jul 11, 2017

Mary Pearl is open and honest, with a wonderful sense of humor. This is part of a longer talk, so it starts in the middle of an anecdote. She talks here about Steps 6, “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character”, 7, “Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings”, 8, “Made...

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Humility – Episode 208 Jul 04, 2017

Is humility the same thing as humiliation? How does humility help me change? Definition from Merriam-Webster: freedom from pride or arrogance : the quality or state of being humble What is the difference between humility and humiliation? Some have compared humility to teachability. How do you understand this statement? How does humility help keep me...

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Controlling Behavior – Episode 207 Jun 27, 2017

Do you believe you can control another person’s drinking? Or maybe all of their behavior? What consequences have your attempts to control led to? I recently started working the steps with an AWOL group (A Way Of Life). In our first meeting, we agreed to address the first 5 questions about Step 1 in the...

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It’s the Journey – Episode 206 Jun 13, 2017

How has your past shaped you? Do you sometimes feel you can't escape it, and that you will never “get it”? Recently, I heard a couple of statements that, in my head, connected to recovery. “We are not defined by what we did or who we were. Those are only the things that brought us...

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Corrie L. Open Talk – Episode 205 Jun 06, 2017

I connected with a lot of what Corrie shared. I hope you enjoy her talk as much as I did. Upcoming topics include the 3 P's: Perfectionism, Procrastination, and Paralysis. Do you find it hard to get started because you're afraid you can't do it perfectly? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions...

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My Body, My Codependency – Episode 204 May 30, 2017

The pit of my stomach is churning. My neck and shoulders are tense. I don’t have any energy. My whole body is out of whack. Do you feel this way? Have you felt like this? Let's take a look at how living with alcoholism or addiction can our bodies and our health. How was my body affected...

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Adult Children of Alcoholics – Episode 203 May 24, 2017

Did you grow up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional family? How has this affected your life today? How can you recover from your childhood experiences? The ACA or ACOA program was created in the 1970s by a group of Alateen members who needed a program that focused on recovery from their experiences growing up in...

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Letting go of the Process – Episode 105 replay May 16, 2017

Another busy weekend: Mothers Day and yard work. I hope you enjoy this “retro” episode about Letting go of the Process with guest host Harriet, originally published in February, 2015. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

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Sam V. Open Talk – Episode 202 May 09, 2017

I really enjoyed this open talk by Sam V., who describes himself as “a man who thinks too much.” Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

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In All Our Affairs – Episode 201 May 02, 2017

Step 12 says “… we tried … to practice these principles in all our affairs“. It's easy to say but harder to do. Al-Anon doesn't do me much good if I pick and choose where I'm going to put it into practice. Program works best when I embrace it wholeheartedly: give up my excuses, rationalizations,...

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Daddy’s Medicine – Brinn Black – Episode 200 Apr 25, 2017

Brinn Black is a singer and songwriter from Nashville. She wrote a song, Daddy's Medicine, about her experience growing up with an alcoholic father. Our conversation with Brinn was guided by these questions: Brinn, I have to say that the first few lines just grabbed my heart: When you're five you don't know there's a stranger...

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Roll Away the Stone – Episode 199 Apr 18, 2017

Is there a stone blocking the tomb of your soul? Have you crawled inside to escape the pain of life? How can we roll that stone away? Yes, it’s Easter again. At this time, I am reminded of the biblical story from Mark 16: When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of...

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Father Tom W Open Talk – Episode 198 Apr 11, 2017

As promised, here is one of my favorite recovery speakers, Father Tom W. sharing his experience, strength, and hope in Al-Anon. Upcoming topics include being the sober parent and Alateen. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

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Obsessive Thinking – Episode 197 Apr 04, 2017

Do you obsess over your loved one's drinking? Do you keep chewing over past actions or wrongs done to you? How can we stop? What is obsessive thinking? What are some other words? Wallowing (in negativity/fear/anger) Resentment (as we discussed last week) Ruminating / chewing over (past wrongs / future problems) Looping What sorts of...

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Resentment – Episode 196 Mar 28, 2017

Do you hold a grudge? Why is this harmful? How can our program help let go of our resentments? What is a “resentment”? Why is it a problem? Where do you find your resentments stem from? Anger at a past injury? Others not doing things “your way”? One method of working Step 4 (“searching and...

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What is Al-Anon – Episode 195 – Episode 10 redux Mar 21, 2017

What is Al-Anon? Why do we, who don't have a drinking problem, need the 12 steps? In this “retro” episode, Spencer, Kelly, and Swetha talk about what brought us to Al-Anon, what we found, and why we keep coming. And, maybe, why Al-Anon might help you, too. Upcoming topics include resentment. What do you resent?...

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March Roundup 2017 – Episode 194 Mar 14, 2017

This weekend, my wife and I attended March Roundup 2017, an AA convention in Dearborn, Michigan. In this episode, I reflect on that experience and hope to inspire you to attend an AA or Al-Anon convention in your area. Upcoming topics include obsessive thinking. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience,...

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Buck N Open Talk – Episode 193 Mar 07, 2017

I recently listened to this open talk from Buck N. I loved his “old school” Al-Anon, his straightforward presentation, and his sense of humor. I hope you do, too. Upcoming topics include the disease concept of alcoholism. Do you think that this idea gives your alcoholic loved one “an out”? What is your understanding of...

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Feelings, Recovery, Compassion, and Forgiveness – Episode 192 Feb 28, 2017

Diana shares a powerful story of recovery, of discovering her own feelings, and finding compassion and forgiveness for those who harmed her. Upcoming topics include obsessive thinking; Alateen; and parenting. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here. Music from...

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Al-Anon Slips – Episode 191 Feb 21, 2017

What does it mean to relapse in Al-Anon? Have you had an Al-Anon slip? What did you do to recover? What is a “slip”? Is it just another word for “relapse”? What do you think an “Al-Anon slip” is? How do you know if you’re having (or if you had) one? In AA, it’s “obvious”,...

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Sherry S. Open Talk – Episode 190 Feb 14, 2017

I hope you enjoy this open talk from Sherry S. I found wisdom and connection for myself. Upcoming topics include Alateen. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

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Being Ready – Episode 189 Feb 07, 2017

Why did I come to Al-Anon when I did? Or, to ask it a different way, why didn’t I come sooner? What made me ready? Why did I come to Al-Anon when I did? Or, why didn’t I come sooner? Not understanding alcoholism. I didn’t grow up with alcoholism I thought my loved one’s behavior...

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Detachment with love – Episode 188 Jan 31, 2017

Do you get caught up in other people’s problems or emotions? Does the phrase “loving detachment” just baffle you? We start with a reading from an Al-Anon flyer titled Detachment. What thoughts about detachment does the reading bring up for you? When you first heard the word “detachment” in a meeting, what did you think...

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Fear, Faith, and Surrender – Episode 187 Jan 24, 2017

Steve L shares his thoughts about fear, faith, and surrender in this AA talk. What did this talk bring up for you? What thoughts do you have? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here. Music from the show Solange:...

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Expectations – Episode 186 Jan 17, 2017

Do you have unrealistic expectations of other people? Or, maybe, of yourself? How does this hurt? What are “expectations”? “Expectations are pre-meditated resentments” — how do you see this as true? How can expectations set you up for disappointment? How do your expectations of yourself hurt you? How do you deal with other people's expectations...

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Maria – Beyond Recovery – Episode 185 Jan 10, 2017

How do you use recovery in your life? Join Spencer and Maria as they explore how she has found a new way of living, beyond recovery. Before coming to recovery, Maria's life was “good enough.” The tools she gained in the Al-Anon program have enabled her to face two major life choices, and to decide...

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Recovery 2016 – Episode 184 Jan 03, 2017

How did your recovery grow in 2016? Whether we're just getting started or we've been at this for years now, we can always grow. How did recovery tools and principles work in my life last year? With family and friends? In my finances? In my work? In my health and fitness? In my spiritual life? How did...

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Christmas 2016 wishes Dec 27, 2016

My wishes to you are that the spirit of the Christmas season, of peace and good will to all people, may be with you in the coming year. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here. Background music is Carol...

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Kathy C Open Talk – Episode 183 Dec 20, 2016

Kathy shares her experience, strength, and hope in her open talk. I particularly appreciated the way she kept the focus on herself — her feelings — her actions — as she described the years before she found recovery. I was able to identify with a lot of what she said. In our feedback section, we...

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Anger – Episode 182 Dec 13, 2016

Do you get angry? More importantly, maybe, how do you deal with your anger? Has recovery helped you be less angry or to let it out more gently? This week, Spencer and Pat talk about anger. We are guided in our discussion by these questions. Don't we almost all get angry at some time or another?...

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Keep it Simple – Episode 181 Dec 06, 2016

Do you overcomplicate your life? How can we “Keep it Simple”? Let’s look at the section of How Al-Anon Works about the slogan “Keep it Simple”. How would you relate each of these sentences to your life? When coping with the baffling and often overwhelming effects of alcoholism, the simpler and more straightforward the approach,...

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Being Thankful – Episode 180 Nov 22, 2016

How are you thankful? Can you be thankful even when life isn’t going well? How can being thankful improve your situation? As I approach the US Thanksgiving holiday, my thoughts naturally turn to thankfulness.In Shakespeare’s play Hamlet, we find this bit of conversation between Hamlet and Rosencrantz. Hamlet has just remarked that Denmark is a...

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Say what you mean and mean what you say – Episode 179 Nov 15, 2016

Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don't be mean when you say it. Many of us have formed patterns of communication that linger even though they may have outlived their usefulness. How did I keep quiet or agree to unreasonable requests in order to avoid conflict? Do I continue to do that...

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178 – Boundaries “Best of” episode Nov 08, 2016

This “retro” episode was originally published as Episode 103. Have you ever set an ultimatum? What did you do when it wasn’t honored? How do you deal with unacceptable behavior from your loved ones? Spencer and Maria talk about boundaries. Last week, we read an email from a listener who asked these questions: Do any...

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Knowing myself – Episode 177 Nov 01, 2016

Start where you are. When change comes, as it always does, it helps to know who you are. Why is it important to know “who I am”? What does it mean to know “who I am”? How have the Steps helped me in knowing myself? (Step 4 is the obvious one, but what about the others?)...

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A Recovery Story – Laura – Episode 176 Oct 25, 2016

What is your story? What brought you to recovery? What challenges have you faced? What have you found here? We had a conversation with Laura about recovery where the local language is not her native tongue. We were guided by these questions. What brought you to Al-Anon? How did you hear about or find the Al-Anon...

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Honesty – a workshop – Episode 175 Oct 19, 2016

What does it mean that this is a program of “rigorous honesty”? How have you been dishonest to others and to yourself? What have you learned about honesty in recovery? This workshop on honesty was presented by Michele R (AA) and Kim G (Al-Anon) at the 2013 Journey to Serenity Festival (Saskatchewan Al-Anon Adult Children Festival), October...

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Forgiveness is critical to recovery – Episode 174 Oct 12, 2016

What does it mean to forgive? Why do we talk of “finding” forgiveness? And who really gains from forgiveness? What does forgiveness mean? Dictionary Merriam Webster has this simple definition of the word forgive: “to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong) : to stop blaming (someone)” And also this: “to give...

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Start where you are – Episode 173 Oct 04, 2016

Start where you are. Bring your angry self. Bring your despairing self. Bring your resentful and frustrated self. Bring your confused self. And we will meet you there. Sometimes I think I need to be “ready” before I can do something, before I can make a change. But that’s not true of our program. I...

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Why The Recovery Show – Episode 172 Sep 27, 2016

Why is there The Recovery Show? September 30 is International Podcast Day, which “is dedicated to promoting Podcasting worldwide through education and public engagement.” … Well, that got me thinking about why I do this podcast, why I (with others) have created 172 episodes of The Recovery Show over the past 3 ½ years. So,...

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Dawn C – Open talk – Episode 171 Sep 20, 2016

This week, we present an open talk by an Al-Anon “long timer”, Dawn C. Upcoming topics include courage, fear, faith, and worry. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

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Year of Yes – Episode 170 Sep 13, 2016

Can you say “Yes” and mean it? When is it better to say “No”? I recently read a book, Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes, subtitled “How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person.” Much of what I read resonated with the work I’ve been doing in recovery, so...

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Feelings – Episode 169 Sep 06, 2016

Have you ever felt controlled by your feelings? What feelings could you identify in the past? How do you balance feelings and facts? Were you able to identify feelings (before recovery)? What did you feel? Did you feel? Did you think that certain feelings were “good” and others were “bad”? Did it seem you had...

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Spencer’s Open Talk – Episode 168 Aug 30, 2016

What was it like? What happened? And what is it like now? Spencer was invited to give an “open talk” recently, and he elected to use this traditional format. It starts with “what happened?” With that moment when the reality of his powerlessness and the unmanageability of his life crashed down on him. When he...

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Serenity – Episode 167 Aug 23, 2016

What is serenity, anyway? And how do you get it? Let’s start with a definition: (dictionary.com) 1. the state or quality of being serene, calm, or tranquil; sereneness. 2. A title of honor, respect, or reverence, used in speaking of or to a certain member of royalty (usually preceded by his, your, etc). Synonyms 1....

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Confession, Redemption, and Forgiveness – Episode 166 Aug 16, 2016

“I've got a confession to make.” How do you feel when you say that? How do you feel when you hear it?! What is the power that confession has for us in Step 5? (Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.) How does the inventory and...

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Stepping Stones to Serenity Part 4 – Episode 165 Aug 09, 2016

This is part 4 of a 4-part seminar titled “Stepping Stones to Serenity”, presented by Ellen C in 2008. This part covers steps 10 through 12. The previous episodes are Part 1, Steps 1-3: Episode 158 Part 2, Steps 4-6: Episode 159 Part 3, Steps 7-9: Episode 162 In full, the 12 Steps of Al-Anon...

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Choices – Episode 164 Aug 02, 2016

Do we have choices in our lives? What kinds of choices do we have? How have we found choices in recovery? Choice Before Recovery Did you feel you had choices in your life? Did it seem like, when you had a choice, it was either/or, with no 3rd possibility? Were you “allowed” to change your...

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Rediscovering Myself – Episode 163 Jul 26, 2016

Did alcoholism erase you? How did you find yourself in recovery? Who are you? What do you want? Do you know now? Upcoming topics include choices and sadness. We will also explore the statement “Courage and fellowship will replace fear. We will be able to risk failure to develop new hidden talents.” to see how...

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Stepping Stones to Serenity Part 3 – Episode 162 Jul 19, 2016

This is part 3 of a 4-part seminar titled “Stepping Stones to Serenity”, presented by Ellen C in 2008. This part covers steps 7 through 9.

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Dancing with Dementia – Episode 161 Jul 12, 2016

How is living with alcoholism like living with dementia? Can I use what I have learned in one, with the other? The sermon was titled “Dancing with Dementia”. “What perfect timing!” I thought, as I was sitting down. This week I will be visiting my parents, who may or not have diagnosed dementia, but who are definitely...

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Step 1: Powerlessness and Power – Episode 160 Jul 06, 2016

What does it mean to be powerless? How can admitting powerlessness give you power over the unmanageability of your life? Spencer and Tom, joined virtually by Sara and Gerrie talk about Step 1, We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, and our lives had become unmanageable. Upcoming topics include another “gift of Al-Anon”. “Courage and...

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Stepping Stones to Serenity Part 2 – Episode 159 Jun 28, 2016

This is part 2 of a 4-part seminar titled “Stepping Stones to Serenity”, presented by Ellen C in 2008. This part covers steps 4 through 6.

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Stepping Stones to Serenity – 1 – Episode 158 Jun 21, 2016

This is part 1 of a 4-part seminar titled “Stepping Stones to Serenity”, presented by Ellen C in 2008. This part covers steps 1 through 3.

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Seeing Clearly – Episode 157 Jun 14, 2016

“Our sight, once clouded and confused, will clear and we will be able to perceive reality and recognize truth.” Our sight, once clouded… And confused…. How was I confused? We will be able to perceive reality We will be able to recognize truth Readings in this episode are from the Al-Anon book Discovering Choices. This is...

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Life on Purpose – Episode 156 Jun 07, 2016

Can you say what is your purpose? How do you decide what to do on a daily basis? What do you want to be “when you grow up”? This episode is inspired by the book Life on Purpose. How has recovery challenged me to articulate my values and my purpose? What is the purpose of “purpose”?...

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Say Yes! to Life – Episode 155 May 24, 2016

Last weekend, I drove back to the city I grew up in, to attend a memorial service for a childhood friend. As family and friends shared their memories of my friend, I reflected on the ways we say “Yes!” to life in the presence of death. This week, I am re-issuing episode 76, Loss, with...

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Mothers Day – Episode 154 May 17, 2016

Are you a mother? What did you learn from your mother? How has recovery changed your way of being a mother, or your relationship with your mother? Inspired by the US holiday, Mothers Day, Carrie and Spencer talk about mothers, their relationship with their mothers, and being a mother. What was your mother like? What...

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Ajit S Open Talk – Episode 153 May 10, 2016

This open talk by Ajit S was recorded at the We Are Not Saints AA roundup in 2007. I first heard Ajit on a tape or CD some years ago, when I was new in the Al-Anon. I liked what he had to say and how he said it. He has a great self-deprecating humor...

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Shutting down as a defense – Episode 152 May 03, 2016

Do you retreat into yourself when problems arise? Do you prefer not to hear bad news? Maybe you are shutting down as a defense. Here's our outline: Which of these statements do I connect with about shutting down? “When I am stressed, I retreat into myself.” “If I don’t think about a problem, it will...

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Meditation – Episode 151 Apr 28, 2016

How do you meditate? Or, DO you meditate? Meditation is something of which many of us say “I need to do that!” “I've got to get into doing it regularly.” “I know it would really help me.” So why is this? What is blocking us? What good can it do us? And what ways are there to meditate? Spencer...

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Your Voice – Episode 150 Apr 18, 2016

Do you sometimes feel that you have nothing to contribute? That your voice is meaningless? That you can't say anything to help others? I was inspired by this reading to say “No! Your voice matters!” Commitment People say, what is the sense of our small effort. They cannot see that we must lay one brick...

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Fourth Step Inventory – Episode 149 Apr 11, 2016

Have you done a fourth step inventory? How did you do it? Join Mike S. and David M. as they lead a workshop on using the 4th step inventory worksheets, based on the process described in the “How it Works” chapter in the AA Big Book. There are 4 worksheets, corresponding to the 4 inventory...

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Worthy of Love – Episode 148 Apr 05, 2016

We will discover that we are both, worthy of love and loving. We will love others without losing ourselves, and will learn to accept love in return. What does this mean to you? If you had read or heard this statement when you had just arrived in Al-Anon, what would you have thought of it?...

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Roll Away the Stone – Episode 147 Mar 29, 2016

“Who will roll away the stone?” The story of Easter is one of resurrection and recovery. But, we need help to roll away the stone from the tomb of our despair and denial. In Al-Anon, we find that help. It might come from recognition that we are not alone, that others have been where we...

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Emotional Safety – Episode 146 Mar 22, 2016

Do you feel emotionally safe? Do you close out intimacy because it threatens you? Let's talk about emotional safety. Thought questions for this discussion include these: What is emotional safety? What is emotional security? How do they relate to each other and how are they different? How are emotional safety and security threatened? What happens...

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So, You Love an Alcoholic – Episode 145 Mar 17, 2016

Do you love an alcoholic? Has that love brought you fear, anger, shame, and joy? 3 Al-Anon speakers from a session at the 2015 AA International Convention share their experience, strength, and hope. A listener emailed with a question about emotional abuse and emotional safety. Have you felt emotionally unsafe? Have you dismissed those feelings...

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The 4 M’s – Episode 84 redux Mar 09, 2016

Have you found yourself trying to do it all? Did you take care of your loved one’s problems? Do you try to force things to work out your way? Have you ever felt totally unappreciated? The 4 M's are Managing, Manipulation, Mothering, and Martyrdom. Spencer had a very full weekend, so please enjoy this “best of”...

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Joy, Fulfillment and Wonder – Episode 144 Mar 01, 2016

Do you have joy in your life? Do you feel fulfilled? Are you finding these gifts in recovery? Or are you still waiting for them to come? In this first episode in a series, we explore a “Gift of Al-Anon“. We will become mature, responsible individuals with a great capacity for joy, fulfillment, and wonder. Though...

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God of our Understanding – Episode 143 Feb 23, 2016

What did you think when you saw the word “God” in the 12 steps? Did you think you would be forced to believe in some particular religion? Or did you think you couldn’t find help because you didn’t believe in God? Two speakers from a NA convention share their experience finding a God of their...

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Love and Alcoholism – Episode 142 Feb 16, 2016

What does Love mean to you? Has alcoholism turned your love turned to hate? Or maybe, you feel both at once and it’s tearing you apart. The ancient Greeks had 4 words for different kinds of love. In English, we have to use adjectives to distinguish them. These include In an alcoholic relationship, love can become...

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Intimacy – Episode 141 Feb 09, 2016

Spencer recently was a speaker at an open panel meeting titled “The Effects of Alcoholism and Addiction on Intimacy and Sexual Relationships”. Hear his sharing about how his ability to be intimate was damaged by alcoholism, and how he is rediscovering intimacy in recovery. Tom and Grace also attended the panel, and we talk about...

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Sponsorship: a prompt – Episode 140 Feb 02, 2016

Do you have a sponsor? Do you sponsor others in the program? How has your sponsor supported your recovery? How has being a sponsor supported and enriched your recovery? Tell us about it! Two of us share our experience as a sponsor, and of being sponsored, and then challenge you to share your experience, strength,...

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It’s a We program – Episode 139 Jan 26, 2016

The first word of the first step is “We”. It is often said “this is a ‘we’ program.” What does that really mean? How do we find recovery from sharing our experience, strength and hope? All the steps (not just the first) start with “we”. The AA big book prefaces the steps with “Here are...

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Families – Episode 138 Jan 19, 2016

Another conversation about families. What did you learn from your family of origin? How have you found new ways to relate to families in recovery? Tom joins us, and talks about what his family was like growing up, what he brought from that into his adult life, what he rebelled against, and how he is using his recovery...

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Family – Episode 137 Jan 12, 2016

What did you learn from your family of origin? How have you found new ways to relate to your family in recovery? Spencer and Mara talk about family, guided by these questions. Describe, generally, what kind of family you grew up in. Was there (active) alcoholism or addiction? Was there codepenency? What did you learn...

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Old Year New Year – Episode 136 Jan 05, 2016

What have you accomplished in the past year? How did you work your recovery? What are you looking forward to in the new year? Reflect on your year past, look forward to the new year with these thought questions. In this episode, Spencer reflects on his 2015 and looks at his 2016 goals. Did I...

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Cooperation and balance – Episode 135 Dec 30, 2015

Do you try to do “all the things” by yourself or do you work in cooperation with others? How do you keep balance and serenity while moving forward? Can Concepts 11 and 12 help answer these questions? Concept 11: The World Service Office is composed of selected committees, executives and staff members. How does this...

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Holiday Survival Kit – Episode 134 Dec 22, 2015

Do you dread the holidays? Do they bring out the worst in you or your loved ones? Are you not sure how you’re going to survive visiting (or visits from) your family? What is in your holiday survival kit? Here are some items from my and my friends' holiday survival kits: Plan ahead Take Al-Anon literature...

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The 4 L’s – Episode 133 Dec 15, 2015

In recovery we listen to each other; we learn from each other’s experience strength and hope; we let go of our need to control others; and find love for them. These are the 4 L's. Spencer and Pat discuss “listen, learn, let go, and love”, prompted by these questions. Do you try to fix others if they are...

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Living with Lies – Episode 132 Dec 08, 2015

Do you obsess over the thought that your loved one might be lying? Do you have to prove the lies? How do you find the ability to trust in recovery? Julia joins Spencer to talk about lies, guided by these questions. How have you been lied to (in relationships with an alcoholic or addict)? How...

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Slogans part 1 – Episode 131 Nov 24, 2015

Maybe you’ve heard some of these slogans. “Easy does it.” … “How important is it?” … “Think” … “Let go and Let God.” Spencer and Eric talk about some slogans, guided by these questions. What did you think about these slogans when you first came to the program? Was there a particular slogan that you...

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Clearing a Path – Episode 130 Nov 17, 2015

How has Al-Anon helped you to clear a path in your life? A few weeks ago, we posted a lead by June on the topic of “Clearing a Path”. Today, 5 listeners and Spencer respond to that lead. The themes explored in our experience, strength and hope include these: A new way of living. Finding...

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Gratitude – Episode 129 Nov 03, 2015

Have you heard someone say they were grateful for the alcoholics in their life? How do you practice gratitude? Can you find gifts in the “punishments” of your life? I reflect on gratitude while walking in the woods on a beautiful fall day. (How) can I say I am grateful for my loved one’s alcoholism?...

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Leadership – Episode 128 Oct 20, 2015

What makes you a leader? How do you divide leadership and management? Can you set clear boundaries between your and others’ responsibilities? Spencer and Akilah talk about Concepts 8, 9, and 10, which address these concerns and others. Concept 8: “The Board of Trustees delegates full authority for routine management of Al-Anon Headquarters to its executive...

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Step 2 – Higher Power – Episode 127 Oct 12, 2015

Spencer is traveling, so here's a favorite episode from our back catalog. Kelli, Swetha, and Spencer talk about their experience with Step 2, “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” The episode is bracketed by a short intro and closing recorded in the northern Utah desert. Upcoming...

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Clearing a Path – A Lead – Episode 126 Oct 06, 2015

Have you felt that your life was out of control, and that you'd never find a way out? Today, June shares about clearing a path in the jungle of her life, and invites your reflections. What thoughts does June's lead inspire in you? How do you relate to this metaphor of clearing a path with...

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Conferences and conventions – Episode 125 Sep 25, 2015

Have you attended an Al-Anon or AA conference? Maybe you went to the AA International Convention this year. Or do you wonder what’s the big deal? What might you bring home from a gathering of people in recovery? Spencer talks with Annie and Alvin about their experience attending recovery conferences. Our discussion is guided by...

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Randy K Open Talk – Episode 124 Sep 08, 2015

This week we have an Al-Anon open talk by Randy K. I (Spencer) identified with a lot of his experience. I was particularly struck by his description of his “addiction”, and related closely to it. Upcoming topics include Concepts 8 and 9, your shared experience with intervention, and the non-drinking parent. Please call us at...

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Al-Anon Dreams – Episode 123 Sep 01, 2015

Do you dream of relapse? Of recovery? Of loss of control? What are your Al-Anon dreams? Join us as Spencer, Jane, Akilah, Pat, and Brooke share some dreams. Dreams: what are they? From the shared experience in this episode, I think that our “Al-Anon” dreams might fall into these broad and overlapping categories: Reliving scenes...

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Imperfection – Episode 122 Aug 25, 2015

Do you feel that you have to be perfect? Do you go through life as if you're on a stage? Is it hard to have compassion and love for yourself? Let's talk about imperfection. This episode was inspired by the book, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be...

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Laughter – Episode 121 Aug 11, 2015

When you came to your first meeting, were people laughing? How did that make you feel? How do you use laughter in your recovery today? When (under what circumstances) did you laugh before program? When and how did you laugh as a child? How did that change as you grew older? How did that change...

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Best of: Our first meetings Aug 04, 2015

What was your experience of your first Al-Anon meeting? Maybe you haven't been to one yet. Spencer, Kelli, Swetha and 7 other members talk about their first meeting or meetings. Hear how we came to believe that they could find help in Al-Anon. For some of us, the first meeting was transformational and enlightening. Others of...

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Authority and Responsibility – Episode 120 Jul 22, 2015

Do you have trouble letting go of responsibility? Do you take on too much? Or do you give responsibility to someone for something they can’t do? If you’ve ever felt that way, you may find help in Concepts 6 and 7. Concept 6 says “The Conference acknowledges the primary administrative responsibility of the Trustees.” And,...

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Worry – Episode 119 Jul 14, 2015

Do you worry a lot? Is it hard to get your mind off the terrible things that might happen? Or maybe it’s just obsessing on the stuff that is wrong in your life today? Think about a time before program when you were worrying. What were you worrying about? How did worrying affect your life...

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Life on Life’s Terms – Episode 118 Jul 07, 2015

Sometimes life throws us a curve ball. How can we accept it and live life on life's terms? Due to some technical difficulties, the episode we had planned for this week did not come together. Instead, I'm talking about taking life on life's terms. Or maybe it's about acceptance. Or about Higher Power moments. Upcoming...

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Fathers – Episode 117 Jun 24, 2015

Fathers Day is a holiday that recognizes fathers and honors fatherhood. What is or was your relationship with your father? Are you a father yourself? How can recovery help us to be better fathers? Or to improve connections with our fathers? In this episode, Spencer reflects on how his father affected his life, and on...

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Gather your chairs in a circle – Episode 116 Jun 16, 2015

A couple of weeks ago, at church, we honored our graduating high school seniors. The sermon that day was in the form of advice to those setting out into adult life. What caught my ear was the second point, to “gather your chairs into a circle.” What does this mean, and how does it relate...

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Public outreach – Episode 115 May 28, 2015

Our 12th Step encourages us to “carry the message to others.” How have you done that? How can we reach out to sufferers who don’t even know about Al-Anon? Spencer and Eric talk about our experiences with public outreach, roughly following this outline. How did you first get involved in public outreach? What have you...

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Participation, harmony, and being heard – Episode 114 May 23, 2015

In your interactions with others, how do you find harmony? Do you sometimes feel that you are not heard? How do Concepts 4 and 5 help? Concept 4 says “Participation is the key to harmony.” and concept 5 states “The rights of appeal and petition protect minorities and insure that they be heard.” How do...

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Fun – Episode 113 May 16, 2015

How do you have fun? Do you have fun? Has your concept of fun changed in recovery? Join Spencer and Brooke as we talk about fun, and hear the contributions a couple of listeners sent in via email. What does “fun” mean to you? How did you think about having fun before recovery? Could you...

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Do you drink? – Episode 112 Apr 23, 2015

Do you drink? Did you drink with your alcoholic loved one? How has recovery changed how you drink? How you think about drinking? Did you stop drinking? Why? Spencer talks about his personal experience with drinking, about how he drank with his loved one, and about how that changed with recovery and how his feelings...

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Prayer – Episode 111 Apr 07, 2015

Do you pray? What is prayer? How can it support your recovery? In this episode, Spencer shares his personal journey to and understanding of prayer. I did not grow up with a tradition of prayer. My idea of prayer as a young person: “God, please give me a pony.” It didn’t work! I did not...

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Right of Decision – Episode 110 Apr 01, 2015

Do you have trouble letting others make decisions? Do you second guess your own decisions? Spencer and Akilah discuss the “right of decision”, as expressed in Al-Anon's 3rd concept of service, “The right of decision makes effective leadership possible.” What is “the right of decision?” How do we use the right of decision in the...

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Dry Drunk – Episode 109 Mar 18, 2015

What is “dry drunk”? Can an Al-Anon exhibit similar symptoms? A few weeks ago, Jennifer suggested the topic of “dry drunk.” Then Ruth mentioned how she feels when she misses a few meetings. And then, I heard a talk about “dry drunk” on the Recovery Radio Network podcast. We start with a talk from Dick S...

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Criticism and Self-Compassion – Episode 108 Mar 08, 2015

Do you have a voice inside you that criticizes everything you do? Can you find compassion for yourself when your internal critic is harsher than what others say about you? Spencer and Brooke talk about criticism and self-compassion. Some of the questions we considered were these. How might you answer these questions? Do I have...

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Chaos – Encore – Episode 107 Feb 25, 2015

Due to first my co-host and then me being under the weather, we present this encore of the Chaos episode. Enjoy! Our topic for next week is criticism and self-compassion. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

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In the Moment – Episode 106 Feb 17, 2015

What does it mean to live “in the moment?” How can I plan for tomorrow when I’m living “one day at a time”? How do I learn from past experiences if I don’t look back? How did/do I live not in the moment? Anger and resentment – Living in the past. Chewing over past actions...

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Letting go of the process – Episode 105 Feb 10, 2015

Do you want to do recovery “your way”? Are you skipping steps because you don’t like them? Can you let go of control? Spencer and Harriet talk about letting go of the process. Harriet, can you explain what you meant by “letting go of the process” when you suggested this topic? How do/did you try to...

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Relapse – a “best of” episode Feb 04, 2015

While Spencer is away, enjoy this “best of” episode from a year ago. Has your loved one relapsed? Did you expect it? How did you react? Today, Spencer and Jessyca talk about Relapse. We structured our discussion around these points and questions: The disease of alcoholism and addiction is chronic, progressive, and eventually fatal. Relapse does...

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Judgement – Episode 104 Jan 27, 2015

How does having judgement differ from being judgemental? Can judgement be both a character asset and a character defect? How do you judge others? How do you think others judge you? How do you judge yourself? Today, Spencer and Anthony talk about judgement. We used this outline for our conversation: What does “judgement” mean to you?...

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Boundaries – Episode 103 Jan 21, 2015

Have you ever set an ultimatum? What did you do when it wasn’t honored? How do you deal with unacceptable behavior from your loved ones? Spencer and Maria talk about boundaries. Last week, we read an email from a listener who asked these questions: Do any of you out there have any personal experiences setting...

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Responsibility and Authority – Episode 102 Jan 13, 2015

Do you take responsibility for your own actions? Do you take on responsibility for the way others live their lives? Do you sometimes try to play God? Spencer and Akilah talk about responsibility and authority, as set forth in Concepts one and two. The Ultimate Responsibility and Authority for Al-Anon World Services Belongs to the Al-Anon...

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Looking Back, Looking Ahead – Episode 101 Jan 06, 2015

Have you made New Year resolutions? How has that worked for you in the past? Is there a way to use our program tools instead? This is the time of year when we look back at the year gone by and forward at the year to come. Spencer talks about his process of “looking back,...

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Guest Host Experiences – Episode 100 Dec 30, 2014

What is it like to be a guest host on The Recovery Show? Join us as Mark, Ruth, Mara, Harriet, and Akilah talk about their experience co-hosting the podcast. I asked my guests today to reflect on these questions as we reach our 100th episode. Why did you decide to participate as a guest on...

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2 Years – Episode 99 Dec 16, 2014

If you’re new, do you wonder why members have been coming for years? Doesn’t there come a time when we’ve learned it all? What do we gain from keeping on keeping on? It amazes me that The Recovery Show is 2 years old this week! Spencer thinks back over the last 2 years, about the...

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Tradition 12 – Anonymity – Episode 98 Dec 09, 2014

Do you wonder how much to reveal about your situation? Are you afraid someone will “out” you? Do you have “idols” in the program? We’ll address these questions and more as we talk about Tradition 12, Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities. Ruth and...

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Gratitude 2014 – Episode 97 Dec 02, 2014

Can you be grateful for painful events? How do you cultivate an “attitude of gratitude”? Can gratitude help you sleep better? Join Spencer and Wendy as we talk about our experience with gratitude. We used these questions to guide our discussion. What does “gratitude” mean to you? Do you see gratitude differently now than before...

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Isolation – Episode 96 Nov 25, 2014

Do you revert to isolating in times of increased stress and difficulty? Do you find it harder to work your program at these times? Today we will talk about what isolation has meant to us. Spencer and guest host Harriet discuss this topic, suggested by Harriet, following this outline and questions. What is isolation? Closing...

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Tradition 11 – Episode 95 Nov 18, 2014

Do you switch the tv-channel when the commercial kicks in? Are you tired of being reminded of something which you know would be good for you but you just don't want to, and now giving in would just feel odd? Do you wonder why some annoying people always have to emphasize where and how they...

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Spiritual Practice – Episode 94 Nov 13, 2014

How do you feed your spirit? Do you struggle with prayer and meditation? What does it mean to be “spiritual?” Spencer shares his thoughts about spiritual practices, and invites you to share your own spiritual practices by voice mail or email. What is a spiritual practice? What is the purpose/goal of spiritual practices? Connection with...

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Not God – Episode 93 Nov 03, 2014

Do you sometimes feel responsible for the whole world? Would other people be happy if they would do things your way? An critical part of our recovery is that we recognize that we are not God. Spencer talks about ways in which he has tried to “play God” in the past, about how those increased the...

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Triggers – Episode 92 Oct 21, 2014

Do words and events throw you into your past? Do you get angry when it's inappropriate? What are triggers and how do they affect us? Spencer and Akilah talk about our experience of triggers and how the 12 steps have lessened their impact on our lives. We had a few basic questions to guide our...

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Trust – Episode 91 Oct 14, 2014

Are you afraid to trust others? Do you hesitate to share personal details? Are you trustworthy? Mara and Spencer talk about Trust. We used these questions to guide our discussion: When do I have trouble trusting? How do I know I can trust someone? Do I have a Higher Power I can trust? Can I trust myself? Can others trust me? What...

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Tradition 10 – Episode 90 Oct 07, 2014

Has someone brought their different political or social opinions into a meeting? How did that feel for you? Or even outside of meetings, can an opinion of another person disturb you? Today, we talk about Tradition 10, which says “The Al-Anon Family Groups have no opinion on outside issues; hence our name ought never be...

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Taking Care of Myself – Episode 89 Sep 29, 2014

When you get sick, do you try to just “keep on going”? When you are overcommitted, do you try to “do it all”? What happens when you do that? Today, I want to talk briefly about taking care of myself. In Al-Anon, we are told that we need to take care of ourselves first. What...

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Intimacy – Episode 88 Sep 23, 2014

Have you lost the ability to share intimately with another person? Have you found people in the program that you can trust with your secrets? What are your barriers to intimacy with your loved ones? Mara and Spencer talk about Intimacy. We used these questions to inform our conversation. What is intimacy? Vocabulary.com says this:...

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Unmanageability – Episode 87 Sep 16, 2014

Do you find yourself running in circles? Do you obsess over things you can’t change? Do you lie awake worrying? Spencer and Ruth talk about what it’s like when our lives are unmanageable, and how we have found a better way to live. We started with the outline below, but actually ended up structuring our conversation...

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Tradition 9 – no organization – Episode 86 Sep 03, 2014

How can we function without organization? Tradition 9 says, “Our groups, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.” This seems somehow contradictory. What does it mean? Spencer and Ruth talk about Tradition 9, following these questions: What does it mean that our...

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Alcoholism – a Personal Journey – Episode 85 Aug 26, 2014

What did you think when you first heard the statement that alcoholism is a disease? Did is seem like a cop-out? Did you feel that your loved one just needed to drink normally!? Today, Spencer explores his personal journey of coming to an understanding of this cunning, baffling, and powerful thing called alcoholism. Here's a...

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The 4 Ms – Manipulation Managing Mothering Martyrdom – Episode 84 Aug 12, 2014

Have you found yourself trying to do it all? Did you take care of your loved one’s problems? Do you try to force things to work out your way? Have you ever felt totally unappreciated? The 4 M's are Managing, Manipulation, Mothering, and Martyrdom. Join Erika and Spencer as we talk about our experience with the...

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Tradition 8 – Episode 83 Aug 05, 2014

Do you find yourself looking for the “experts” in your meetings? Do you sometimes feel like you have nothing to offer? How do we help one another in Al-Anon? Today, we’re going to talk about Tradition 8, which states “Al-Anon Twelfth Step work should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.”...

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Suffering is Optional – Episode 82 Jul 29, 2014

What do we mean when we say “Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional?” What’s the difference? How can we avoid suffering? Spencer and Maria share their experience about suffering and pain. We used this outline to guide our conversation. What distinction does the quote make between pain and suffering? Does it make sense to...

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Cause, Cure, Control – The 3 Cs – Episode 81 Jul 22, 2014

We are told that “we didn’t cause it, we can’t cure it, and we can’t control it.” The 3 C’s capture our powerlessness. What does this mean for us, what does it mean for the ones we love who are caught in this disease? What are “the 3 C’s”? We didn't cause our loved one's...

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What does it mean to work the steps? – Episode 80 Jul 17, 2014

When you first heard “work the steps”, what did you think? Are you still confused about what it means? Or, maybe you’ve worked the steps, but you’re looking for more. Spencer talks with Ruth, Maria, and Patti about our understanding of and experience of “working the steps”. We consider these questions in our conversations. When...

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Tradition 7 – Episode 79 Jul 08, 2014

How is Al-Anon funded? Why don’t we take outside contributions? What if we all lived our lives that way? Tradition 7 states “Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.” Spencer and Ruth discuss these questions and others as we explore our understanding of Tradition 7. The statement of this tradition is pretty clear. Why...

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What does it mean to “work” the steps? Jun 26, 2014

The topic of our next episode, number 79, is What does it mean to “work” the steps? Please share your experience, strength, and hope about this question by sending email to feedback@therecoveryshow.com, by calling our voice mail number 734-707-8795, or by using the voicemail button at the right. Here are some thought questions that you can...

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Stay or Go? – Episode 78 Jun 24, 2014

Are you in a relationship with an alcoholic or addict? Have you ever thought, “My life would be so much easier without this person?” Have you wondered how you could ever leave them? Today, we have 4 personal stories from individuals who faced that hard question, Stay or Go? Spencer starts with his experience. He...

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Why I came to Al-Anon. Why I stay? – Episode 77 Jun 17, 2014

Have you wondered why someone would choose Al-Anon? Or why those “long timers” keep on coming? Spencer and Amy tell their stories of coming to Al-Anon, and the reasons they're still coming years later. We used this outline to guide our conversation. What brought you to Al-Anon originally? What was your situation? Was there active...

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Loss – Episode 76 Jun 10, 2014

What do you do when you lose someone close to you? How can I use the tools we have learned in the program to get through a loss? I was inspired to this topic by a tragic, accidental death in the past week. It brought me to reflect on the nature of loss, on how loss...

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Tradition 6 – Episode 75 Jun 03, 2014

Tradition 6 says “Our Family Groups ought never endorse, finance or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim. Although a separate entity, we should always co-operate with Alcoholics Anonymous.” What does this mean? How do we understand and apply it? How do...

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Faith over Fear – Episode 74 May 27, 2014

Does fear keep you from acting? Can you move forward in faith instead? This week, we talk about faith over fear. Spencer and Adrienne talked about their experience with fear and faith, reflecting on these questions and others. How has fear been a factor in your life to date? In what ways did fear direct your actions (or...

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Tradition 5 – Episode 73 May 15, 2014

Have you wondered what Al-Anon is about? Why do we keep coming when we feel better? What does Al-Anon tell us about our alcoholic friends and relatives? These questions and more are addressed by Tradition 5. “Each Al-Anon Family Group has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the...

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We claim spiritual progress … – Episode 72 May 06, 2014

Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can't go through with it.” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down...

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Recovery on the Road interview with Mara – Episode 71 May 01, 2014

How do you take recovery with you when you travel? I talked with Mara about her recent experience traveling for several months, and how she kept her recovery program alive. Our conversation was very loosely guided by these questions: Did you think about how you were going to take your recovery program with you before...

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Living with alcoholism or addiction – Episode 70 Apr 22, 2014

Do you wonder how you’re going to make it through another day with the drinking and chaos? Have you had thoughts of leaving or worse? Today we have 4 stories of living with active alcoholism or addiction. We hear personal stories from Julie, Jen, Maria, and Spencer. Each of us was given the following questions...

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Tradition 4 – autonomy – Episode 69 Apr 15, 2014

Do you like some meetings better than others? Do you wish all meetings would do things the same way? Do feel you should be able to do whatever you want, regardless of others? Stick around, because today, we’re going to talk about Tradition 4, which says “Each group should be autonomous, except in matters affecting...

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Forgiveness – Episode 68 Apr 08, 2014

Do you have trouble forgiving the alcoholic or addict in your life? Have you carried hurts long after the person who hurt you is gone from your life? How can we forgive without forgetting? Let's talk about forgiveness. Spencer and Erika share their experience, strength, and hope about forgiveness, and try to address these questions....

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Made a Decision – Episode 67 Apr 01, 2014

I’ve titled today’s episode Made a Decision. I am going to relate my the story of my journey to and through Step 3, “Made a decision to turn our will and our live over to the care of God as we understood God.” I started from unbelief, was told to “act as if”, found willingness,...

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Codependency – Episode 66 Mar 25, 2014

If you put your loved one’s needs ahead of your own… If you feel that others’ happiness is your responsibility… If your response to “what do you want for dinner” is “what do you want?” … Then you’ve come to the right place, because today, we’re going to talk about codependency. Spencer took this one...

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Hope – Episode 65 Mar 18, 2014

“… we shall hew from this mountain of despair a small stone of hope.” — Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. What is hope? How do we find hope when we are overwhelmed by a mountain of despair? Spencer, Maria, and May talk about their experiences of finding hope in the midst of their times of...

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Detachment – a “best of” episode – Episode 64 Mar 11, 2014

Early on, I was told to practice “loving detachment.” I already knew how to do “middle finger detachment,” but detaching with love was a foreign concept. In this “best of” episode from February 2013, Kelli, Swetha, and Spencer share their experience, strength, and hope about this complex topic. Our topic for next week is hope. Please...

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Tradition 3 – Episode 63 Mar 04, 2014

Spencer, Ruth, and Wendy talk about Tradition 3, which states “The relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Al-Anon Family Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.”...

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Changed Attitudes – Episode 62 Feb 25, 2014

We say “changed attitudes can aid recovery”. But how do we change our attitudes? How does it help? Spencer and Rachel talk about changed attitudes. at·ti·tude a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person's behavior. the orientation of an aircraft or spacecraft, relative to...

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Intuition or God’s Will? – Episode 61 Feb 18, 2014

How do I know my Higher Power’s will, which I am told to pray for in Step 11? Is Intuition the same thing? Spencer does this one solo, with written participation by Ruth and Adrienne. He starts from this outline: What is intuition? in·tu·i·tion 1. the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for...

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Tradition 2 – Episode 60 Feb 10, 2014

Spencer and Adrienne discuss Tradition 2, which says “For our group purpose, there is but one authority – a loving god as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants – they do not govern.” Which, when you think about it, is a pretty radical statement. Have you been...

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Relapse – Episode 59 Feb 03, 2014

Has your loved one relapsed? Did you expect it? How did you react? Today, Spencer and Jessyca talk about Relapse. We structured our discussion around these points and questions: The disease of alcoholism and addiction is chronic, progressive, and eventually fatal. Relapse does not have to be part of the disease, but it is frequently...

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Interview with Michele – Relapse preview – Episode 58 Jan 27, 2014

Michele wrote to us last week suggesting that we talk about relapse. She also offered to share her experience with us. I called her to interview her, and realized that her story was powerful and compelling. So, I changed the plan and this episode is our interview with Michele, talking about her 8 year journey...

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Face to face meetings, why are they important? – Episode 57 Jan 21, 2014

Have you ever wondered, “Why do I need to go to meetings? Can’t I just read the literature?” Today, Spencer and Wendy talk about Face to Face meetings and why they are important. Our discussion was guided by these questions: What resources have you used / do you use in your program? Meetings Reading Al-Anon...

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Communication – Episode 56 Jan 13, 2014

Do you have trouble communicating your needs and feelings to your loved ones? Do your attempts to ask for what you want always degenerate into an argument? How have you learned to communicate better in this program? Today, Spencer, Maria and guest host Meishia talk about Communication. We started with this list of questions. How...

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Tradition 1 – Episode 55 Jan 07, 2014

Spencer and Maria are joined by special guest Ruth to discuss Tradition 1, which says “Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity.” We are guided by these questions: What does “common welfare” mean to you? What does “unity” mean to / for you? How do you think that...

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Family of our Dreams – Episode 54 Dec 30, 2013

In the book, How Al-Anon Works, in the discussion of Step 1, it says, “We may never have the family of our dreams…” What is the family of your dreams? How does your family fall short of your dreams? What have you tried to do about it? How has recovery helped you to relate to...

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Step 12 – Episode 53 Dec 20, 2013

Are you wondering whether you’ve had a spiritual awakening, or even what a spiritual awakening might be? How can you practice these principles in all your affairs? And what are “these principles” anyway? Are you not sure how to carry the message? Today, Linda and Spencer talk about Step 12, which states “Having had a spiritual...

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My Story – Episode 52 Dec 09, 2013

For our 1 year anniversary podcast, we asked you, our listeners, to send us your story. Several of you did, and two are featured in this episode. Unfortunately, a third suffered damage that made it unplayable, so we weren't able to use it. We hear from listeners Julia and Emily, as well as host Spencer....

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First Things First – Episode 51 Nov 25, 2013

Are you often unsure what to do next? Do you struggle with indecision? Do you have too many choices? Do you feel you have no choices? Today, we talk about the slogan “First Things First.” Spencer, Maria and special guest Adrienne discuss this slogan, guided by these questions: How did you make decisions / set...

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Step 11 – Episode 50 Nov 18, 2013

Have you established a routine of prayer and meditation? Do you struggle with them? Are you not sure how to know God’s will? Yes! Today, we’re going to talk about Step 11, which says “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of...

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Getting Started in Al-Anon – Episode 49 Nov 12, 2013

Are you new to Al-Anon? Do you wonder what to expect? What you should do immediately? What are the challenges we face early on? Does Al-Anon have its own “culture”? Then you’ve come to the right place, because today, we’re going to talk about getting started in Al-Anon. Spencer and guest host Wendy talk about...

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Step 10 – Inventory – Episode 48 Nov 06, 2013

Do you struggle to admit that you are “wrong” in the moment? Have you found an effective way to take a daily inventory? How do you feel about admitting your wrongs? What exactly does this step mean by “promptly”? Do you feel better when you make a 10th step amends? Then stick around, because today,...

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Changes – Episode 47 Oct 28, 2013

Do you wish that things would just stay the same? Does change freak you out? Maybe you get depressed when live today isn’t the same as yesterday. If you identify with these feelings, stick around. Today, I’m going to talk about changes. There is a big change for the Recovery Show: Kelli and Swetha have...

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Days of Wine and Roses roundtable – Episode 46 Oct 21, 2013

We watched the movie Days of Wine and Roses with our friends Mark and Anna from the Recovered podcast. And then we sat down around a table and talked about it. If you have not seen the movie, you may want to read the plot summaries at IMDB. You can also rent it from Amazon Instant Video...

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Chaos – Episode 45 Oct 13, 2013

Why do we (codependents) create chaos? Why do addicts create chaos? How do we find islands of serenity within chaos? You guessed it — today, we’re going to talk about chaos. Spencer, Kelli and our guest Wendy share our experience, strength and hope as prompted by these questions. What do we mean by “chaos”? How...

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Setting Boundaries without Controlling – Episode 44 Oct 07, 2013

Do you struggle with setting boundaries? Does it feel like you are trying to control someone else when you set a boundary? Does your loved one accuse you of trying to control them? Do you have trouble following through with appropriate consequences when your boundaries are violated? Then today’s show is for you. We’re going...

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The 3 A’s – Awareness, Acceptance, Action – Episode 43 Oct 01, 2013

Do you think you have to fix something as soon as you become aware of it? Do you find yourself springing into action even before you know what the problem is? Is it difficult to know if you've fully accepted something as a cue to take action? Join Spencer, Swetha, and Kelli as we talk...

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Living Rich, Full Lives in Recovery – Episode 42 Sep 23, 2013

Does a life in recovery sound limiting? Are you unsure what activities, events, etc from your previous life will fit into your new life of recovery? Does living a rich full life sound selfish when your loved ones are still suffering from addiction? What tools have your learned that allow you to fully live your...

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Vulnerability – Episode 41 Sep 16, 2013

Do you fear that being vulnerable with your loved ones will be perceived as a sign of weakness? Do you tend to avoid discussing your own feelings? Do you try to cover up your flaws? Do you often take other people's inventory? Brené Brown says “vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage”. What do...

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Step 9, Amends – Episode 40 Sep 10, 2013

Join us as we discuss the power and potential of Step 9, which states “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” Spencer, Kelli, and Swetha share their experience, strength, and hope with Step 9, guided and inspired by questions such as these: Have you...

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Self Care – Episode 39 Sep 01, 2013

Do you find yourself often running low on sleep? Do you miss meals because you’re too busy? Do you ever neglect your own basic needs in order to take care of someone else? Well, then this is the episode for you because today’s topic is “Self Care”! Kelli, Spencer and special guest host Jonah talk...

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Sibling round table – Episode 38 Aug 26, 2013

Today, we’re doing another roundtable episode with siblings of alcoholics and addicts. Jane and Rick share their experience growing up with alcoholic brothers. We ask them questions such as the following: If your sibling started drinking in the home when you were a minor, how did that affect your relationship with them growing up?...

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Juggling vs. Balance – Episode 37 Aug 19, 2013

Do you sometimes feel that you’re trying to keep too many balls in the air at once? Do you hear people talk about a balanced life and wonder what they mean? Do you struggle with too much to do and not enough time to do it all? Then this episode is for you, as we...

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Self Acceptance and Self Esteem – Episode 36 Aug 13, 2013

Do you often judge yourself? Do you internalize the criticism of others? Are you afraid they are right? Are you unable to like yourself? Then listen as Swetha, Spencer, and special guest host Erika talk about self acceptance and self esteem. We share our experience, strength, and hope around questions such as these: What is...

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Step 8 – Episode 35 Aug 05, 2013

If you are struggling with guilt and resentment over your actions in the past… If you aren’t ready to make amends to someone… If you think that you deserve an amends before you make one… You’ve come to the right place. Keep listening as we discuss STEP 8. Kelli, Spencer, and Swetha share our own...

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One Day at a Time – Episode 34 Jul 28, 2013

Do you find yourself spending too much time worrying? Do you fear the future or resent the past? How can you take care of yourself by living “One Day at a Time”? How do we understand this slogan as a tool for caring for ourselves? What does “one day at a time” mean? We find...

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Compassion – Episode 33 Jul 21, 2013

Do you find yourself getting easily impatient with others? Do you feel judgemental towards someone no matter how hard you try to let go? Having trouble finding compassion for the alcoholics and addicts in your life? Are you having trouble finding compassion for yourself? Listen as Swetha, Kelli, and Spencer talk about their understanding of...

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Sponsorship Round Table – Episode 32 Jul 16, 2013

If you just want to do recovery all by yourself… If having a sponsor sounds frightening… If you’d like to have a sponsor, but you don’t know how to get one… Then keep listening as hosts Mark, of Recovered, and Kelli, of The Recovery Show, lead a joint round table about sponsorship. In this conversation...

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Step 7 – Episode 31 Jul 09, 2013

What is humility? How do we ask God to remove our shortcomings? Are they really defects? Listen as Spencer, Swetha, and Kelli, back together at last, talk about Step 7, Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. We explore our understandings of the word “humbly”. It can mean that we accept ourselves as we are,...

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Program in the workplace – Episode 30 Jul 01, 2013

How do you use your program in the workplace? Do you have a hard time setting boundaries at work? Do you find yourself staying late even though it affects your self-care? Can you deal effectively with your difficult co-workers? Swetha, Kelli, and Mary share their experiences with these questions and others. Anne H. and Spencer...

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Progress, not Perfection – Episode 29 Jun 24, 2013

Today, we’re going to talk about progress, not perfection. Ever feel like no matter how much you try, you fall short? Ever just want to give up because perfection just seems too hard to achieve, so why bother? Ever feel like the strides you do take forward just aren’t good enough? Join Kelli, Swetha, and...

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Step 6 – Episode 28 Jun 16, 2013

Step 6 says “[We] were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” What are “defects of character.” What does “entirely ready” mean? How do we become entirely ready? What if we like some of our defects? How can we become ready to have them removed? Spencer, Kelli, and special guest host...

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Anonymity – Episode 27 Jun 09, 2013

Our 12th Tradition says “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions…” Why is anonymity important? What does it mean to be anonymous? Does it mean that we actively hide our identity? Is it about only sharing our first name (and initial?) Or is there something deeper here? What can we share about ourselves?...

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Our First Meetings – Episode 26 Jun 03, 2013

What it was like when we first came to Al-Anon? What do we remember about our first meeting? Did it “click” right away or did it take some time? When did we realize that the program was right for us? How did that happen? Spencer, Kelli, and Swetha, along with 7 other Al-Anon members talk...

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Sponsorship – Episode 25 May 27, 2013

At my Home group meeting, we say “in this program, we encourage sponsorship.” What does that mean? What is a sponsor? Why would you want one? How can a sponsor help you? How do you get a sponsor? What is it like to be a sponsor? How does being a sponsor help your program? Spencer,...

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This Too Shall Pass – Episode 24 May 21, 2013

Have you ever been caught up in a situation? Have you ever found yourself easily dismissing happy situations? Have you ever found yourself feeling hopeless about a difficult situation? Do you find yourself wondering if this too shall pass? Kelli, Swetha and guest host Patrick talk about it. We often think of “this too shall...

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Step 5 – Confession? – Episode 23 May 13, 2013

Step 5 says that we “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs”. Why is this important? What were our fears and concerns? What was our experience? Join Spencer, Kelli and Swetha for a discussion of this step. A common reaction to approaching Step 5 for the...

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Parents roundtable – Episode 22 May 03, 2013

In this episode, we are talking with parents who have found support and recovery. Some have children who are still actively drinking or drugging, while some of their children have found recovery, and some struggle with mental illness. Their children may be teens or adults. They will share their experience, strength, and hope with us...

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Easy Does It – Episode 21 Apr 29, 2013

“Easy does it.” What does this slogan say to you? Can you use it to make your life easier? Swetha, Spencer, and special guest Dayana talk about this slogan. This slogan can remind us that complicated solutions are often forced, or that it’s time to pause and take it easy for a moment, to wait...

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Forcing Solutions – Episode 20 Apr 22, 2013

“… our thinking becomes distorted by trying to force solutions.” What does it mean to force a solution? When do we try to force solutions? How do we try to force solutions? We discuss these questions and others, sharing our experience, strength and hope.

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Gratitude – Episode 19 Apr 15, 2013

How do we feel gratitude? Can gratitude help get you through a hard time? Is it something you can choose? Does finding gratitude make your problems go away? What is an “Attitude of Gratitude”? Special guest hosts Kate and Patrick join Swetha and Spencer to talk about these questions, and about their experience finding gratitude,...

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Step 4 – doing the inventory – Episode 18 Apr 07, 2013

Step 4 states “[We] took a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” What were our first impressions? What did we fear? What did we find? What was our experience of working Step 4? How has it enhanced our lives? Kelli, Erika, and Spencer talk about our experience, strength, and hope around Step 4. Kelli...

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Trusting the process – Episode 17 Mar 31, 2013

What does it mean to “trust the process?” What is “the process?” Is it meetings? The Steps? Working with a sponsor? Reading the literature? Swetha, Spencer, and special guest Anne H share our experience, strength, and hope on these questions and others. We welcome special guest Anne H to the podcast. At the beginning, the...

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Blame – Episode 16 Mar 25, 2013

We talk about blame — how we blame others, how we take blame on ourselves and how we can move past blaming. We have learned that blaming is often a result of black and white thinking, and that we can have healthier relationships when we can look at our part in a conflict realistically, rather...

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Asking for Help – Episode 15 Mar 18, 2013

We talk about asking for help. When we came in, we did not have experience asking for help in a healthy way. We didn’t want to impose on people we barely knew, we still thought we could do it ourselves. How did we come to understand that reaching out was not weakness, that others gained...

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Step 3: turning it over – Episode 14 Mar 11, 2013

Step 3, Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God. How do we understand and use it in our lives?

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Shame – Episode 13 Mar 03, 2013

Spencer, Swetha, and guest host Nic talk about shame – what it is, how we feel it, how we used to deal with it, and how we deal with it in recovery. We start by looking at the difference between shame and guilt. When we do something wrong, we feel guilt, and we can deal...

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Detachment – Episode 12 Feb 24, 2013

Kelli hosts Swetha and Spencer as they share their experience, strength, and hope about detachment. Kelli opens with a reading that links detachment to self-acceptance and self-care. The first time that Spencer heard about detachment was when his uncle told him, “I hear that you’re supposed to ‘detach with love’”. Spencer had NO idea what...

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Enabling – Episode 11 Feb 18, 2013

Swetha, Spencer, and Kelli talk about enabling. We start by defining our understanding of the term, enabling. Early on, Swetha wondered whether anything nice she did for someone was enabling. Her sponsor helped her by giving her this definition: “getting between someone and the consequences of their choices or actions.” Kelli also had this confusion....

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What is Al-Anon? – Episode 10 Feb 11, 2013

Spencer, Swetha, and Kelli talk about their experience with Al-Anon, attempting to address the question “What is Al-Anon?” We start by talking about what brought us to the program. Swetha’s boyfriend suggested the program to her, but she didn’t think at first that she qualified. Kelli’s boyfriend’s sponsor told her that if she was going...

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Step 2 – A power greater than ourselves – Episode 9 Feb 04, 2013

Kelli, Swetha, and Spencer discuss Step 2: “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” Spencer talks about the first 3 words of the step: First, he “came”. After some time in Al-Anon, he “came to.” As he started to recover, he “came to believe.” Swetha found it easy...

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Resentment – Episode 8 Jan 28, 2013

We discuss resentment. How do we understand it? How does it affect us? How do we recognize resentment? What tools have we learned to deal with it?

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Letting Go – Episode 7 Jan 18, 2013

In this podcast, Spencer, Mark, and Swetha discuss letting go as a path to serenity and happiness. But if we do, to whom are we letting go?

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Expectations – Episode 6 Jan 14, 2013

We talk about expectations, how they can lead to resentment and disappointment, how we recognize them, and let go of them.

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Choices – Episode 5 Jan 06, 2013

Do we have choices in our lives? What kinds of choices do we have? How have we found choices in recovery? Kelli, Swetha, and Spencer discuss our experience, strength, and hope about finding and making choices in our lives, before and after we found recovery.

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Denial – Pilot Episode 4 Dec 30, 2012

What is denial? How did we experience denial in our lives? What tools have we found to combat it? How is our life better when we accept reality on its own terms? Spencer, Kelli, and special guest Erika discuss these questions and share our experience, strength, and hope on the topic of denial.

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Acceptance – Pilot episode 3 Dec 23, 2012

Kelli leads a discussion with Swetha and Spencer about acceptance. Kelli opened with a reading that begins “It is said that pain is inevitable but suffering is optional …” She speaks of her previous belief that accepting something meant thinking that it was right. She has grown into an attitude of patience, acceptance, and tolerance...

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Powerlessness – Pilot episode 2 Dec 16, 2012

Swetha leads a discussion of powerlessness. We talk about how we understood it (or didn't) before coming to the program and how we understand it now. Each of us discusses situations in which we feel powerlessness and how we recognize it. Kelli says that sometimes recognizing powerlessness can give her power. How can that work?...

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Boundaries – Pilot episode 1 Dec 10, 2012

Spencer, Kelli, and Swetha discuss boundaries. We all agreed that before coming into the program that we pretty much did not set boundaries, for fear that others would not respect them. Instead we got angry about violations of unstated boundaries and carried those resentments. When we heard talk of boundaries in meetings, we didn't understand...

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