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    Comedy

    Bitch Bible

    A podcast that dares to say what many are thinking, but only a bitch would say. Expect unfiltered and unapologetic discussions about sex, millennial struggles, pop culture, social faux-pas and hopefully, an insightful takeaway. Nothing is off limits.

    Hosted by Jackie Schimmel, creator of blog “The Bitch Bible,” and your soon-to-be bitchy (and super neurotic) best friend.

    Advertise

    Copyright: Copyright © 2002-2024 PodcastOne.com. All rights reserved.

    • Apple Podcasts
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    Latest Episodes:
    Bitch Bible Classics: Dr. Schimmel - Breaking Dawn, Pt. 1 Nov 03, 2026
    Show notes

    Jackie's taking two weeks off waiting for demon seed #2, so Dr. Schimmel is in session and she is not holding back. Tune into some bitches getting burnt on how they should live their lives (there is only one person who can judge you in this lifetime, and it's Jackie) and ST. CLAIR FUCKING CALLS IN. It's a Dr. Schimmel miracle. Part one of two, bc we're classy like that.

    Thanks for supporting my sponsors:

    Nutrafol: Use code BIBLE to get $15 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at www.Nutrafol.com

    Tonal: Use code BIBLE to get $200 off your Tonal purchase at www.Tonal.com

    This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp: Sign up and get 20% off at www.BetterHelp.com/BITCHBIBLE

    Boll & Branch: Use code bitchbible to get 25% plus free shipping and extended returns at www.BollAndBranch.com/bitchbible

    Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at www.Quince.com/BITCHBIBLE

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    Bump Bible: Everything’s About to Change… Again Oct 29, 2026
    Show notes

    38 weeks and Jackie is on the home stretch. She’s tootling, she’s baking, she’s redecorating, and doing anything but sitting still. Bring on the epidural!

    Thanks for supporting this week's sponsor:

    Freestyle: Use code BIBLE to get 30% off your first 3 months of a Freestyle diaper subscription at www.Freestyle.world/BIBLE

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    I Can See Everything Oct 27, 2026
    Show notes

    Jackie is fresh from seeing the Elizabeth Holmes documentary, explains dark energy, and Clyde motorboats Heather McMahan.

    Thanks for supporting my sponsors:

    Freestyle: Use code BIBLE to get 30% off your first 3 months of a Freestyle diaper subscription at www.Freestyle.world/BIBLE

    OSEA: Use code JACKIE to get 10% off your first order at www.OSEAMalibu.com

    SKIMS: Shop my favorite loungewear and pajamas at www.skims.com/bible #skimspartner

    Revolve: Use code BITCH for 15% off your first order at www.Revolve.com/BITCH #REVOLVEpartner

    Little Spoon: Use code BIBLE for 30% off your first order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLE

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    Bump Bible: Not a Bottle, Not a Swaddle Oct 22, 2026
    Show notes

    Week 36 and shit's getting real. Jackie is working the Schimmel Swindle on Clyde, has plans to redecorate the hospital's birthing suite, and could be weeks or maybe hours from giving birth.

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    I Don't Fucking Care Oct 20, 2026
    Show notes

    Jackie is experiencing PTSD flashbacks to last year’s backyard flood and discusses Selma Blair’s biting habit, flashes her hot gardener, and crafts the perfect awkward email.

    Thanks for supporting my sponsors:

    CBDistillery: Use code BITCHBIBLE for 25% off at www.CBDistillery.com

    Ladder: Get a free 7-day trial with no credit card, and $10 off your first month if you join at ladder.fit/BITCHBIBLE

    Lola Blankets: Experience the world’s #1 blanket with Lola Blankets. Use code BIBLE at checkout to get 40% off select products at www.Lolablankets.com

    Ritual: Save 25% on your first month and get a free gift with any starter set at www.Ritual.com/BIBLE

    Vinted: Download the Vinted app for free to start listing with no seller fees

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    Bitch Bible Classics: Bloated, British, and Bitchy. Oct 17, 2026
    Show notes

    Jackie returns from London bloated and bitchier than ever. She recaps Real Housewives drama, her trip abroad, a diagnosis of OCD and gives awful life advice.

    Little Spoon: Use code BIBLE for 30% off your first order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLE

    Nutrafol: Use code BIBLE to get $15 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at www.Nutrafol.com

    SKIMS: Shop SKIMS Cotton, and all of my favorite pieces at www.skims.com/bible

    Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at www.Quince.com/BITCHBIBLE

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    Bump Bible: Ma. Ma. Bear. Oct 16, 2026
    Show notes

    Week 33 and Jackie is looking in-credible; the jaw is sharp, she’s glowing, and dreaming of a scarf-clad, post-baby jaunt around Paris, but she’ll settle for a frozen lemonade and a Wetzel’s pretzel.

    Thanks for supporting this week’s sponsor:

    Article: Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at www.Article.com/BIBLE

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    Call Me Jackeigh Oct 13, 2026
    Show notes

    Jackie addresses some nonsense internet backlash, plans the perfect glam lewk, and questions Kelly Clarkson’s sanity.

    Thanks for supporting my sponsors:

    Tonal: Use code BIBLE to get $200 off your Tonal purchase at www.Tonal.com

    Jones Road Beauty: Use code BITCHBIBLE at www.JonesRoadBeauty.com to get a free gift with your first purchase! #JonesRoadBeauty #ad

    Nutrafol: Use code BIBLE to get $15 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at www.Nutrafol.com

    Revolve: Use code BITCH for 15% off your first order at www.Revolve.com/BITCH #REVOLVEpartner

    Little Spoon: Use code BIBLE for 30% off your first order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLE

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    Bump Bible: The Anemic Angel Oct 08, 2026
    Show notes

    30 weeks and Jackie isn’t slowing down at all. She’s shopping for fresh trees, reveling in the attention from her purple bandage, and enjoying the holy trinity of See’s Candy: Dark Chocolate Scotchmallows, Dark Chocolate Bordeaux, and Dark Raspberry Creams.

    Thanks for supporting this week’s sponsor:

    Revolve: Use code BITCH for 15% off your first order at www.Revolve.com/BITCH #REVOLVEpartner

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    Cushions in Captivity Oct 06, 2026
    Show notes

    Jackie is ready for Off Brand October and is reminded of the enormous stupidity of the general population, stalks a man over patio cushions, and has not one but two public altercations.

    Thanks for supporting my sponsors:

    This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp: Sign up and get 10% off your first month at www.BetterHelp.com/BITCHBIBLE

    Boll & Branch: Use code bitchbible to get 15% % off site-wide at www.BollAndBranch.com/bitchbible

    Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at www.Quince.com/BITCHBIBLE

    The Absorption Company: Use code BITCHBIBLE at check out for up to 35% off your first order at www.AbsorbMore.com

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


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