The Look & Sound of Leadership

Humility as Strength Feb 04, 2026

A leader is getting pressured to stop being so prickly and gain some humility. With her coach, she explores whether it’s even possible for humility to ever be a strength.

Core concepts in this episode:

Humility is confidence without defensiveness.
Assess yourself on the humility scale. “How do I respond to challenges?”
Humble leaders are confident in their authority.
Ask frequently: “How might I be wrong about this?”
Humility requires active listening.

Questions addressed in this episode:

> Are humble leaders perceived as weak?

Some people may see humble leaders as weak, but humble leaders are actually confident in their authority.

> If humble leaders need confidence, will they be seen as arrogant?

No, because humble leaders do not fight for dominance. They invite the opinions of others and are non-defensive when challenged.

> How can I tell whether I am humble?

Ask yourself, “When I am challenged, what feelings do I experience?” Leaders who respond non-defensively are high in humility.

> What practices can I adopt to develop more humility?

Ask yourself frequently: “How might I be wrong about this?"

> What are the benefits to being a humble leader?

Your team will experience psychological safety and move towards high performance.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Humbitious: The Power of Low-Ego, High-Drive Leadership by Amer Kaissi explores how to be both ambitious and humble.

Links for coaches:

Join Tom and a community of coaches at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group.

The Los Angeles Chapter of International Coach Federation offers countless opportunities for CCEs and community building.

If you’re in the L.A. area, join the ICF-LA March Chapter meeting. And be sure to say ‘hi’ to Tom! Register here.

Each month, we share additional tools in our monthly email.

If you’d like to explore Private Coaching with Tom, reach out to him at: tom@essentialcomm.com.

This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast library:

Executive Presence

Leadership

Personal Growth & Self-Development

Related Episodes:

122 - Achieving Authenticity

146 - Building Empathy

248 - Building Listening

260 - How to Guarantee Psychological Safety

232 - Unlocking Executive Presence through Emotional Intelligence

Thank you so much for your reviews!

From The Look & Sound of Leadership

Leading When Ego at the Top Is Unchecked Jan 07, 2026

A chief officer is infuriated by the behavior of his egomaniacal CEO. With his coach, he explores how to be a healthy leader while reporting to a boss he doesn’t respect.

Core concepts in this episode:

Egomaniacs rattle our sense of self.
They will not change.
Worrying does not help.
Be accountable for how you show up. Manage yourself.
Don’t take anything personally. They’re just a piece on a chess board.
Ask yourself: “Am I seeing this person clearly?” Don’t allow emotions to drive your actions.
Ask yourself: “How do I want to show up?” You have choice about what you prioritize and how you react in the workplace.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Crucial Conversations provides scripts and thoughts that will help you manage yourself when dealing with difficult people.

Tom and host Dave Stachowiak discussed “How to Handle a Boss Who’s a Jerk” on this episode of Coaching for Leaders. Great tools if you have a challenging boss.

Before sharing your reactions in the workplace, consider the politics around you. These two episodes will get you “Leading with Political Savvy” Parts 1 and 2.

Each month, there are additional tools in our monthly email.

If you’d like to explore Private Coaching, reach out to Tom. tom@essentialcomm.com.

This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast library:

Managing Yourself

Leadership

Perception – How You Perceive Others

RELATED EPISODES

239- 5 Strategies for Dealing with Narcissists

189 - “Don’t Take Anything Personally”

245- Giving Upward Feedback

114- Gravitas

133- The Narcissist Executive

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your reviews!

Wishing you a year of growth and development!

From The Look & Sound of Leadership team, thank you so much for listening.

How to Grow Your People Dec 10, 2025

A senior vice-president worries that attention on his people’s development will get overwhelmed in the volume of work. He asks his coach for tools to make the process effective and efficient.

Download our free tool that maps the Three Conversations Development Plan.

Core Concepts

Prioritizing professional development is hard.

The 3-Conversation model makes development easy for the leader and meaningful for the person.

The three conversations in summary:

Define ‘what,’ ‘why’ and give homework;
The person reflects on the homework and how they plan to improve;
Periodic check-ins about the homework. ‘What are you learning?’

The leader’s role in these conversations:

Clarify the ‘what’ and ‘why’
Listen and encourage
Ask, ‘What are you learning?’

You can sign-up for more resources and tools in our monthly email.

If you’re thinking about coaching for yourself, or for someone on your team, let’s talk. tom@essentialcomm.com.

This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast library:

Feedback

Leadership

Management Skills

RELATED EPISODES

132 Coaching Your People

212 How to Coach Your People

258 How to Manage Defensive People

83 Leadership and Listening

206 Understanding Feedback

Thanks, as always, for your reviews!

Happy holidays.

Until next time, thanks so much for listening.

From The Look & Sound of Leadership team

How to Motivate and Inspire Nov 05, 2025

After a leader turns around the performance of one of his direct reports, he and his coach explore how it happened. And how to make it stick.

Core ideas in the episode:

Workplaces improve when positive feedback is present
Our natural human negative bias is a barrier to giving positive feedback.
Learn to notice when things go well.
Tell people how they are helping solve the puzzle that is work.
Research says the most effective feedback ratio is 4-to-1, positive to developmental.

Positive Feedback might sound like this:

Recognize what’s going well – and be specific
Appreciate how it’s helping solve the puzzle
Express your thanks

Developmental Feedback might sound like this:

Describe what happened – and be specific
Explain how it affects the puzzle solving effort
Express your hope for a different outcome

You can Sign-up for more resources and tools in our monthly email.

If you’re thinking about coaching for yourself, or for someone on your team, let’s talk. tom@essentialcomm.com.

This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast library:

Managing Yourself

Perception – How You Perceive Others

Relationship Building

Related episodes to listen to are:

146 - Building Empathy

119 - Creating Devoted Followers

212 - How to Coach Your People

255 - How to Deepen Relationships at Work

260 - How to Guarantee Psychological Safety

Thanks, as always, for your reviews!

Until next time, thanks so much for listening.

From The Look & Sound of Leadership team

How to Guarantee Psychological Safety Oct 01, 2025

A toxic boss destroys psychological safety on her team. One of her direct reports talks to his coach about how to survive. And how to keep his own team safe.

Core ideas in the episode:

Don’t take other people’s bad behavior personally.
You are not a victim. You have choice.
Document repeated bad behavior.
Openly discussing mistakes without blame creates safety on a team.
As the leader, be willing to admit your own mistakes.
Ask people: “How do you think that went?” and “What could we do differently?” Then listen without debate or rebuttal.

A free infographic supports this episode. Download it here.

The episode referred to about creating strong personal relationships is:

#199 Personal Connections.

Sign-up for monthly resources and tools in our monthly email.

Curious about coaching for yourself or someone on your team? Let’s talk. tom@essentialcomm.com.

COACHES! Want to see this year’s pricing survey results? Pop me an email at: tom@essentialcomm.com.

And come join the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check it out here.

Get additional tools for keeping yourself and your team psychologically safe in our podcast library in these three categories:

Assertiveness

Leadership

Managing Yourself

Additional episodes to listen to are:

187 - Agreeable Disagreement

70 - Assertion Versus Aggression

"75 - Don’t Take Anything Personally”

222- The Conflict Conversation

181 - Inviting Dialogue

Your reviews help the show stay ad-free.

Until next time, thanks!

From The Look & Sound of Leadership team

How to Supercharge Introversion Sep 11, 2025

Concerned his introversion makes him less effective, a corporate vice president asks for coaching – from an extrovert! Together, the coach and client explore ways to assure his introversion is a strength.

Myers Briggs Type Indicator assesses four preferences. One is Introversion and Extroversion. Download a free sample of the profile report here.

The six tools unpacked in this episode are:

Manage your energy
Monitor your self-talk
Have ideas ready
Manage your calendar
Share comfortably about yourself
Develop both your thoughts and your skills

Listen to Tom’s conversation with Tom & Tom on the Beyond Podcast episode.

Learn “How to Make Small Talk with Executives” on the Coaching for Leaders podcast.

Curious about coaching? Shoot me an email. tom@essentialcomm.com.

Visiting the website? Sign-up for tools and resources in our monthly email.

Help yourself to our free infographics in the Essential Tools bin.

Get more support for supercharging your introversion in our podcast library in these three categories:

Additional episodes you could listen to are:

241 - Conquering People Pleasing

210 - How to Grow Your Self-Management

211 - How to Show Up as More of Yourself

254 - How to Talk so People Understand You

247 - Mastering Anxiety

Your reviews help the show stay ad-free.

So? Were these tools about introversion helpful? Let me know!

Until next time, thanks!

From The Look & Sound of Leadership team

How to Manage Defensive People Aug 06, 2025

A leader with a direct report who is, she says, the most defensive person she’s ever known, devotes an entire coaching session to gathering tools to help her cope.

All the tools and ideas and scripts in this episode are in an easy-to-understand infographic. Download it for free here.

To work on “deserving” dive into The Four Agreements.

Dig into more tools for managing defensive people in our podcast library in these three categories:

Communication Skills

Management Skills

Relationship Building

Additional episodes you could listen to are:

216 - 7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks

60 - Be Impeccable with Your Word

35 - Handling Defensive Behaviors

173 - Managing Bad Behavior

138 - Managing Disruptive Executives

198 - Psychological Safety

Additional tools and resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here.

Curious about coaching? Shoot me an email. tom@essentialcomm.com.

All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin.

Your reviews help the show continue as an ad-free podcast.

Let us know how we can support you.

Until next time, thanks!

From The Look & Sound of Leadership team

How to Own Healthy Assertion Jul 09, 2025

Still traumatized over an angry explosion she’d aimed at an abusive leader years before, a leader asks her coach to help her access healthy assertion to use during moments of conflict.

Where are you on the assertion scale? Our assessments will tell you.

In the episode, ASSERTION got divided into two skills:

AWARENESS and EXPRESSION.

The four-step script to build healthy ASSERTION is:

Situation
Feeling
Want
Outcome

Part of assertion is EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.

Our tool defines EQ and gives exercises. Download it here.

“Unlocking Executive Presence Through Emotional Intelligence” Episode 232. The concept explained and tools provided.

Download “The Feeling Word Grid” here.

Ready for an amazing growth experience? Explore Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead course.

Often recommended. Always helpful. Crucial Conversations.

More tools in the ASSERTIVENESS category in the archive.

Episodes with assertiveness tools:

220 - Holding Boundaries

219 - How to Set Boundaries

210 - How to Grow Your Self-Management

86 - Intimacy in Business: Setting Boundaries

198 - Psychological Safety

Considering coaching? Talk with Tom. Send him an email here.

Additional resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here.

Until next time!

Thanks! from The Look & Sound of Leadership team

How to Create Engagement Online Jun 04, 2025

Convinced that participants need to engage in order to learn, a leader is discouraged after the cheerless rollout of her online learning program. She turns to her coach for help facilitating virtual groups.

Tools in this episode:

Tone-setting at the opening:

Get people engaged by using the chat to think together;
Get people engaged by thinking about how they will show up (ground rules);
Ask: “How engaged do you want to be?” Rank 1 – 7 in chat.

(#3 came from Michael Bungay Stanier who wrote The Coaching Habitand hosts the Change Signal podcast. Much gratitude!)

Three facilitation skills:

Use learning questions;
Redirect; don’t be the hub;
Activate your deadpan.

All our infographics are available for free in our Tools Bin. Help yourself.

Tom’s most recent conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching for Leaders explored How to Take Initiative. A lively, thought-provoking episode.

Coaches! Join us at ICF Los Angeles’s Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check us out on the ICF-LA website, then come join us!

Categories in the archive to explore for more ideas about deepening relationships:

Communication Skills

Leading Teams

Episodes with more tools for engagement:

141 - High-Stakes Meetings

253 - How to Answer Questions Powerfully

213 - How to Re-engage a Team

34 - Keeping Repeated Material Fresh

175 - Leading Offsites

143 - Powerful Tools for Team: Plus / Delta

148 - Taming Meetings

Are you coach curious? Talk with Tom. Send him an email here.

Additional resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here.

Until next time!

From The Look & Sound of Leadership team

How to Deepen Relationships at Work May 05, 2025

Knowing she’s never been good with people, a leader seeks coaching to her deepen relationships in ways she can tolerate.

Two ways to deepen workplace relationships:

Matching & Curiosity

4 Ways to Match:

Match Purpose
Match Energy
Match Conversations
Match Vulnerability

Express Curiosity by Asking Deep Questions

Make sure your questions are open-ended
Invite reflection
Keep the other person talking

Answering questions powerfully is another way to deepen relationships. Check out our recent episode on that topic.

Deepen relationships at work by listening to Dave Stachowiak’s conversation on Coaching For Leaders with Charles Duhigg about his book Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection.

Recently, Tom joined Dave on Coaching for Leaders to explore How to Take Initiative. A lively, thought-provoking episode.

Coaches! Join us at ICF Los Angeles’s Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check us out on the ICF-LA website.

Categories in the archive to explore for more ideas about deepening relationships:

Communication Skills

Building Relationships

Managing Yourself

Five episodes that’ll help you get deeper:

The Conflict Conversation

Are you ready to invest in yourself? We offer listeners world-class coaching at an affordable price. Reach out to Tom here.

Transcripts of every episode, including this one, are available for free here.

More resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here.

Until next time!

From The Look & Sound of Leadership team

How to Talk so People Understand You Apr 02, 2025

A leader is losing credibility with her senior leaders. Her boss thinks she can turn it around by learning the sorting tool that transformed him as a communicator, so he brings in the coach who taught him.

Sorting & Labeling! The grandaddy of all communication tools. If you can sort and label you will sound like a leader.

The four steps in Sorting & Labeling:

Use a headline
Use a number
Label each number
Transition with clarity

See it all for yourself in our free Sorting & Labeling infographic.

To all women who work in social or environmental change: Women’s Impact Alliance wants to support you. Check out their website to see all they ways they can help you succeed.

Coaches! Come join our Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check us out on the ICF-LA website.

Categories of episodes that have more ways to help you talk so people understand you:

Communication Skills

Leading Teams

Presentation Skills

Five episodes that’ll speed you down the path:

106 - Communicating with Clarity

253 - How to Answer Questions Powerfully

65 - Sorting & Labeling

16 - Sounding Well-Spoken

20 - Staying on Track

Curious about coaching for yourself? We offer a special program for listeners. Reach out to Tom here.

Transcripts of this and every episode are available for free here.

More resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here!

Until next time!

From The Look & Sound of Leadership team

How to Answer Questions Powerfully Mar 05, 2025

A leader was given one goal for his coaching: improve how he answered questions. Knowing he struggled with this not only at work, but at home, he asked his coach for tools.

Our free PDF shows the two scripts: one for closed-ended questions, one for open-ended. Download it here.

Don’t assume you know why people ask what they ask. You don’t. Ever.

The closed-ended script:

Answer what’s asked
Match Length
Check for understanding
Then add your details

No mattress stuffing!

It’s a customer service exchange.

The open-ended script:

Start with a number
Label the first item
Explain in brief

Make the leap. Start with a number. It’ll be okay.

When you know things, use this script. You will sound expert.

The open-ended script is a variation of the Sorting & Labeling tool. Download the PDF and listen to the episode.

CALLING ALL COACHES!

Come join ICF-LA’s Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. We’d love to see you. Check us out here.

Related categories in the library:

Communication Skills

Leadership

Perception – How Others Perceive You

Five related episodes:

215 - How to Stay Calm Under Fire

249 - How to Tackle Overtalking

159 - Short Sounds Confident

185 - The Talky Executive

151 - Under Executive Questioning

Have ideas about how “The Look & Sound of Leadership” might grow and evolve? Share your ideas with Tom here.

Transcripts of this and every episode are available for free here.

Our monthly email, with resources you don’t hear about on the show. Subscribe here!

Wishing you spring freshness,

From The Look & Sound of Leadership team

How to Build Self-Esteem Feb 05, 2025

A leader suddenly hears how harshly she speaks to herself. Wanting help, she turns to her coach who gives her tools to build a practice of self-esteem.

The three self-esteem practices are:

Self-Acceptance: Practice being FOR yourself
Self-Worth & Happiness: Practice saying, “I am worthy of being happy”
Live in Reality: Practice acknowledging what is and what is not.

Download our free Feeling Words Grid.

The Tools bin with other free resources is here.

Four ways to help you live in reality:

Respect facts
Respect facts about yourself
Interpretations are not facts
Feelings are not facts

Nathaniel Branden’s “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” is still a definitive work. Check out the 31-week sentence completion exercise in the back.

Related categories in the library:

Managing Yourself

Perception – How You Perceive Yourself

Self-Talk

Five related episodes:

241 - Conquering People Pleasing

209 - How to Build Self-Awareness

224 - How to Disarm a Trigger

242 - Mastering Nerves

231 - Staying Afloat in a Shitstorm

Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here.

Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here.

Our monthly email – finally easy to subscribe to! Click here!

CALLING ALL COACHES!

Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. We meet six times a year. Our first meeting in 2025 is Friday, February 14th, 9:00 am Pacific.

2025 Meeting Dates

February 14

April 11

June 13

August 8

September 12

November 14

Fridays, 9:00 – 10:30am Pacific

Sponsored by ICF-LA

Wishing us all compassion and grace in 2025.

From The Look & Sound of Leadership team

How to Answer “Tell Us About Yourself” Dec 04, 2024

A senior leader, upset about having flubbed her reply to ‘Tell us about yourself’ during a high-stakes interview, talks with her coach about how to prepare for what she considers to be an incredibly stupid question.

Categories in the archive to explore:

Communication Skills

Executive Presence

Presentation Skills

Six episodes to dive into:

34 - Keeping Repeated Materials Fresh

77 - The Power of Rehearsal

65 - Sorting & Labeling

180 - Becoming Expert

114 - Gravitas

124 - Personal Branding

For help Sorting & Labeling, download the PDF.

For help finding your three words, use our Needs & Values assessment.

For a new way of thinking about interviewing: Interviewology, The New Science of Interviewing.”

For career guidance, Michele Calderigi, head of Next Career, is a seasoned counselor.

Lois Frankel’s Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Officeremains a favorite among senior women in the workplace.

Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here.

Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here.

More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.

Safe and sane holidays, everyone!

from The Look & Sound of Leadership team

How to Tackle Overtalking Nov 06, 2024

A chief officer had known for years he was an over talker. His CEO, desperate for improvement, gave him a coach. This episode highlights their first coaching conversation.

Two mindsets from this episode:

When you speak, have a destination in mind.

Ask yourself: “What is my point exactly?” and “Why is this something they need to know?”

Pay attention to your listeners. Respond to their interests.

Ask yourself: “Does what I’m talking about right now help us get to the destination?” If not, skip it.

It doesn’t matter why you overtalk. Overtalking is limiting. Build your awareness of when you do it.

Learn to ‘hear’ the communications you have.

Who talked how long?

What were the smaller conversations within the larger communication?

More tools to build your self-awareness and communication skills can be found in the Essential Communications bin and in the archive of all 16 years of the show.

Build awareness browsing these categories:

Self-Management

Perception – How You Perceive Yourself

Develop your communication skills in this category:

Communication Skills

Five Episodes to help your skills are:

53 - Answer What’s Asked

65 - Sorting & Labeling

20 - Staying on Track

11 - Sounding Executive

16 - Sounding Well-Spoken

“Think Fast Talk Smart” podcast with Matt Abrahams. Great tools to help you be a better communicator.

Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here.

Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here.

More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.

Coaches!

Download the results of ICF-LA’s pricing survey here.

Be safe, everyone!

The Look & Sound of Leadership team

Building Listening Oct 02, 2024

A vice-president gets kudos for likability but knocks for her inability to listen. With her coach, she talks about listening repeatedly. This episode features one of those conversations.

The 3 listening mindsets:

Listen to learn
Feelings are natural
Stay separate

Download the free multi-page learning tool about listening here.

This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast archive:

Communication Skills

Managing Yourself

Relationship Building

Five episodes you might listen to are:

136 - A Breakdown of Listening

83 - Leadership and Listening

10 - Listen Without An Agenda

229 - The Sound of Leadership & Management - 2023

232 - Unlocking Executive Presence through Emotional Intelligence

Coaches!

Download the pricing survey here.

Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. We welcome coaches at every stage of development. Check us out here:

If you’re curious about coaching, reach out to Tom here.

Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here.

More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.

To all of you, from all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, much gratitude!

Mastering Anxiety Sep 04, 2024

Battling perfectionism and anxiety, a leader asks her coach for help and learns a tool that helps her tame her terrors.

This episode dovetails with many ideas in last month’s episode about Coaching versus Therapy.

Tom talks about his own bout with anxiety and a near career-ending attack of nervousness in this episode from April.

https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/mastering-nerves/

Pixar’s Inside Out 2has a powerful depiction of a 13-year-old girl suffering a full-blown anxiety attack. The experience and its aftermath is moving.

MindShift CBT is a free app designed to help you take charge of your anxiety and develop more effective ways of thinking.
Watch the introductory video

Dr. Steven Melemis, a mood disorder expert, wrote I Want to Change My Life,filled with practical exercises and a one-month step-by-step plan to start you on a road to transformation.

In under two minutes, Tom shared a “golden nugget” on the “How to Survive and Thrive Podcast.” You can hear it here.

This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast archive:

For Women

Personal Growth & Self-Development

Self-Talk

Five episodes with more tools to help you master anxiety are:

#52 Coaching v Therapy

#152 Combating Emotional Hijacks

#147 Conquering Fear

#96 The Many Parts of you

#78 Unmasking a Stand-In

Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here.

Want a free transcript of this episode? You can download it here.

Every month we share more resources in our Essential News email. Sign up here.

To all of you, from all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

Coaching versus Therapy Aug 07, 2024

Tired of feeling like a fraud, a leader searches for help down different paths. She and her coach talk about how coaching is, and is not, like therapy.

The leader in this episode wrestles with feelings of being a fraud. Tom talks about three resources to help manage that feeling:

“The Executive Impostor” Episode #176 of “The Look & Sound of Leadership”

Self-Esteem at Work by Nathaniel Branden & Warren Bennis

The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman

Additional tools to support your professional development are these free PDFs from our Essential Tools bin:

Johari Window

Readiness in Coaching

You can listen to Tom’s conversations on these two shows:

“I Need at Coach” with Adam Packard

“Take Five” with Paul Butler

This episode is tagged in four categories in our podcast archive:

For Women

Managing Yourself

Personal Growth & Self-Development

Self-Talk

Four episodes, in addition to “The Executive Impostor” listed above, that will help you dive deeper into the ideas in this episode are:

52 - Coaching v Therapy

191 - Coaching Under Attack

78 - Unmasking a Stand In

171 - Taming the Wild Child

Be in touch with Tom here.

Grab a free transcript of this episode here.

We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.

To all of you, from all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

Giving Upward Feedback Jul 10, 2024

A leader and her coach discuss a three-step model for turning upward feedback into a learning conversation that might allow the boss to hear the message.

This month’s coaching conversation explores whether feedback should be given upwards in the first place. If so, are there ways to deliver the feedback effectively?

Download the free “Giving Upward Feedback” PDF.

In the commentary, Tom tells a story about the Marshmallow Test being debunked. Here’s the column he mentions.

This episode is tagged in the library in three categories:

Communication Skills

Feedback

Managing Up

Five related episodes you might listen to are:

74 Dealing with Emotional Responses

14 Delivering Tough Feedback

32 Giving Powerful Feedback

118 Perception is Reality

99 The Disruptive Executive – Part One

Be in touch with Tom here.

Grab a free transcript of the episode here.

We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.

From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

Networking Conversations – Part Two Jun 05, 2024

Knowing she’ll need to network to achieve her career goals, an ambitious leader asks her coach what a good networking conversation actually sounds like.

Resources for Building Your Networking Skills

Leverage the latest algorithm on LinkedIn with this research report.

Coaching For Leaders podcast: “How to Grow Your Professional Network”

Coaching For Leaders podcast: “Executive Presence with Your Elevator Speech”

10 Rules for Networking

Link to 10 Rules of Networking PDF in Essential Tools bin

Sorting & Labeling

Link to Sorting & Labeling PDF in Essential Tools bin

The Look & Sound of Leadership: “Assume Equality”

The Look & Sound of Leadership: “Being Concise”

This month’s episode is in the podcast archive in three categories:

For Women

Relationship Building

Social Skills

Five episodes to grow your networking skills:

162 - Acting on the Corporate Stage

180 - Becoming Expert

193 - Branding Yourself

176 - The Executive Impostor

192 - Pursuing a Promotion 2020

Grab a free transcript of this episode here.

Be in touch with Tom here.

We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.

Listen to Tom’s conversation with Scott Ritzheimer on “Secrets of the High Demand Coach.”

COACHES!

Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF Los Angeles. You’ll get CCE’s, too!

From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

#podcast#leadershipnetworking#growyournetwork#professoinalconnections#networkingskills#leadershipdevelopment#networkbuilding#careerconnections

Networking Conversations – Part 1 May 08, 2024

An ambitious leader knows she’ll need to network to achieve her career goals. But, to her, networking feels slimy, so she asks her coach for help.

Some core concepts from this episode:

The purpose of networking is to know people.
Don’t target people. Nurture a relationship.
Make networking 5% of your job every week.
Networking makes you a more valuable employee.
Show interest in the other person. No monologuing about yourself.

Listen to Tom’s “Flow” and “Fall” stories on the Coaching Stories podcast with Dr. Sam Humphrey.

COACHES!

Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF Los Angeles. You’ll get CCE’s, too!

https://www.icfla.org/special-interest-groups-2/

Be in touch with Tom here.

Please help yourself to the free resources in our Essential Tools bin including one called “10 Rules of Networking.”

This month’s episode is in the podcast archive in three categories:

For Women

Relationship Building

Social Skills

Five episodes to grow your networking skills:

42 - The Art of Chat

58 - Elevator Speeches

242 - Mastering Nerves

129 - Mentoring & Mentors

66 - Networking

Tom also mentioned an episode called Conquering People Pleasing.

Grab a free transcript of the episode here.

We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.

From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

Mastering Nerves Apr 03, 2024

Before testifying in a high-stakes case, a theorist and his coach swap horror stories about their nerves hijacking them and the lessons they learned.
Tom’s Top Three Ideas for Mastering Nerves:

Celebrate Incremental Improvement
Write Happy Endings
Ignore Your Nerves

Here is the clip of Emma Stone battling her anxiety.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkN0sPQ76E0

Email Tom and tell him he’s crazy here.

For Coaches! 2 Resources!
1. Coaching Stories Podcast

2. Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF-LA. CCE’s given!

Tom’s conversations with Neha Singh on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast are here and here.

Please help yourself to the free resources in our Essential Tools bin.

This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories:

Managing Yourself

Nervousness

Self-Talk

Five episodes to help conquer your people pleasing tendencies:

Act “As If”

Choosing Persistence

Conquering Fear

The Executive Impostor

The Many Parts of You

Grab a free transcript of the episode here.

Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.

From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

Conquering People Pleasing Mar 06, 2024

Angry at himself for continually putting others’ needs before his own, a leader turns to his coach for tools. He learns a new way to think and a behavior to try.

Be in touch with Tom here.

Listen to Tom’s conversations with Neha on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast here and here.

Our Essential Tools bin has free resources to help you build your look and sound of leadership.

G.W. Bailey’s imdb page is here.

This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories:

For Women

Managing Yourself

Self-Talk

Five episodes to help conquer your people pleasing tendencies:

188 Boundaries

165 The Conflict Conversation

220 Holding Boundaries

219 How to Set Boundaries

116 Speaking Your Truth

Grab a free transcript of the show here.

Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.

From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

Finding Management Courage Jan 31, 2024

A vice president, struggling to control his team of artists, learns a technique for managing bad behavior from his coach. He likes it so much, he uses it with his high performers, too.

The tool described in this episode is simple to understand but may take a bit of courage to implement.
Courage can be taught. Brené Brown created her Dare to Lead course for exactly that purpose. Ready to build your courage? Reach out to us here.
Find more resources to build your skills in the podcast archive. Search these categories:
Assertiveness

Feedback

Management Skills

Five episodes you might listen to are:

#47 Discussing Difficult Behaviors

#18 Holding People Accountable

#138 Managing Disruptive Executives

#127 Managing Performance: Up or Out

#65 Sorting & Labeling

A free infographic for Sorting & Labeling is in our Essential Tools bin. Help yourself to that and all the others.
Thinking about developing someone in your organization, or yourself? Reach out to Tom here.
Grab a free transcript of the show here.
Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.

From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!
#podcast #managingbadbehavior #leadershippodcast #leadershipchallenges #behaviormanagement #leadershiptips #leadershipdevelopment

5 Strategies for Dealing with Narcissists Jan 10, 2024

A leader is so furious with his self-absorbed boss, he considers quitting the company. He asks his coach to help him manage himself and defuse his triggers.

In addition to the five strategies Tom talks about in this episode, there are lots more strategies in his conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching For Leaders “How to Deal with a Boss Who’s a Jerk.”

Tom’s wide-ranging conversation with Josh Dittmer can be found here.

Free tools to support your professional development are in our Essential Tools bin. Please help yourself.

Ready to explore coaching? Reach out to Tom here.

Other episodes to help you manage yourself in difficult workplace relationshipsare:

Looking for a transcript of the show? Download it here.

Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.

Thanks to all of you, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership.

Happy, healthy, safe new year!

Leading with Political Savvy – Part 2 Dec 06, 2023

Tired of losing to more savvy players, a leader seeks to decode the secrets of playing politics, focusing particularly on company culture.
Download our free Political Style Chart here.
“The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics.
Looking for a transcript of the show? Read it here.
More tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories:
For Women
Perception – how you perceive others
Relationship Building
Here are five episodes to help develop your political savvy:
188 - Boundaries
210 - How to grow your self-management
67 - “I hate politics”
142 - The Mindful Executive
121 - Your Goodwill Bank Account
Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.
Let us know how we can support you.
Happy, healthy, safe new year. I look forward to being with you all in 2024.
From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, Happy New Year! And thanks!

Leading with Political Savvy – Part 1 Nov 01, 2023

A leader feels stuck. She sees others winning resources she felt should have been hers, but she hates playing politics. What to do?
Download our free Political Style Chart here.

“The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics.

Many more tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories:

Self-Talk

Leadership

For Women

Here are five episodes to help develop your political savvy:

187 - Agreeable Disagreement

215 - How to Stay Calm Under Fire

192 - Pursuing a Promotion

207 - Tough Conversations

67 - “I Hate Politics”

Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.

JAPAN!

Email me with your suggestions for what we should not miss in Japan this December! tom@essentialcomm.com

Let us know how we can support you.

Be kind to yourself. Things are rough out there! From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well! And thanks!

Building Consensus – Savvy or Sin? Oct 04, 2023

A leader, surrounded by people she knows and trusts, can’t seem to get traction with them. In conversation with her coach, she discovers an unexpected cause.
Tools for teams abound in this episode.

The four tools Tom suggests as first steps for helping your team openly discuss ideas are:

Say ‘thank you’ when people offer an idea;
Be curious; don’t dismiss ideas or people;
Don’t take differences personally; it’s not about you;
Develop your comfort with disagreement.

The Gradients of Agreement tool supports the ideas in this episode. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like Sorting & Labeling.

Additional tools for team growth mentioned in this episode are the classic Crucial Conversations and Tom’s conversation on The cATalyzing Podcast.

This episode is in our podcast library in three categories:

Communication Skills

Leading Teams

Management Skills

Specific episodes that will help you develop your team are:

Facilitating Open Dialogue

How Teams Fight

Leadership Behavior in Meetings

Power Tools for Teams: Plus/Delta

Questions as Leadership

Taming Meetings

Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. You can sign up here.

To those of you who post reviews, thank you so much for supporting the show.

Let us know how we can support you.

Until next month, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well! And thanks!
#podcast #TeamDecisionMaking #Teamwork #Leadership #ConsensusBuilding #EffectiveTeams #TeamCommunication #TeamLeadership

The Conflict Resolution Wheel Sep 06, 2023

A co-founder, at odds with his partner (also his best friend!), reaches out to his coach for help saving the business and the friendship.

The episode introduces The Conflict Resolution Wheel. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like the Feeling Words Grid.

The Wheel is based on a tool in the Couple Communication course, a program to help you understand and connect with your partner better.

The course’s workbook, Talking and Listening Together, is meant for self-study. It’s available for purchase online.

Another book Tom references in this episode is the classic Crucial Conversations.

This episode is in our podcast library in three categories:

Communication Skills

Managing Yourself

Relationship Building

Five episodes that will help you continue to develop your conflict resolution skills are:

Conflict

The Conflict Conversation

Creating Safety for Hard Talks

A Difficult Conversation

Resolving Conflict

Every month our Essential News email provides links to even more resources. You can sign up here.

Thank you thank you thank you to those of you who post reviews. You make such a difference to us. Thanks for supporting the show!

Let us know how we can support you.

Until next month, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well! And thanks!

Essential Skills that Shaped a Leader Aug 02, 2023

A senior leader, having risen through the ranks, ends her coaching engagement by comparing notes with her coach about the skills that have helped her most.

This episode identified seven essential leadership skills:

Conquer catastrophic thinking;
Use fewer words;
Value relationships as highly as results;
Don’t take anything personally;
Commitment to Development;
Reflection;
Speak for Yourself.

Resources to develop those last three:

Commitment to Development

The Executive Executive – an episode with a different list of essential skills
Four Factors Executives Need to be Successful – another list of essential skills thenschel@essentialcomm.com – my email address if you want help thinking about your own development

The Ability to Reflect

Speak for Yourself

The Four Agreements – Agreement #1: “Be Impeccable with Your Word”

Episodes to build assertion:

This month’s episode lives in our podcast library in these three categories:

Executive Presence
Leadership
Self-Talk

Five episodes to help you with different skills are:

Building Empathy
“Don’t Take Anything Personally”
The Executive Executive
Personal Connections
Short Sounds Confident

Our monthly email has links to more resources. You can sign up here.

All our infographics are available to you for free in the Essential Tools bin.

Let us know how we can support you.
Until next month, be well!

From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

Taming the Defensiveness Dragon Jul 05, 2023

At the end of her rope, a leader asks her coach for help managing a direct report who, she says, is the most defensive person she’s ever met.

This episode was packed with tools. We’ve put them into an easy-to-understand infographic. Download it for free here.

Kim Scott, the best-selling author of the electric book Radical Candor, wrote a short, friendly guide with tools for handling defensive employees. Find it here.

Harvard Business Review’s Amy Gallo talked with Dave Stachowiak on this episode of the Coaching for Leaders podcast. As with every episode of Dave’s, this is indispensable.

To work on “deserving” dive into The Four Agreements.

To dig deeper into tools for taming defensiveness, search our podcast library in these three categories:

Five specific episodes on this topic you could listen to are:

Sign up to get our monthly email with links to resources that support each episode.

Calling all COACHES! Come join our Executive Coaching special interest group (SIG) sponsored by the Los Angeles Chapter of ICF. Check out our SIG and all the others here.

Or shoot me an email with your questions. I’m at tom@essentialcomm.com.

All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin.

Your reviews supporting the show help us continue as an ad-free podcast.

Let us know how we can support you.

Until next month, be well!

Thanks from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership.

Unlocking Executive Presence through Emotional Intelligence Jun 07, 2023

During her first C-suite years, a leader burned a lot of bridges. Her boss, who’d traveled a similar path, gets her a coach and sets only one goal: repair relations through emotional intelligence.

Lots and lots of tools and resources this month:

Free downloads:

The Feeling Words Grid

EQ Model

Books and papers to sharpen your skills

“Executive Presence: The Missing Link between Merit and Success”

“The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and Your Success”

“Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well”

“Executive Presence” from Center for Talent Innovation

This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:

Executive Presence

Managing Yourself

Personal Growth & Self-Development

Five episodes to help you command a room:

109 Building Emotional Intelligence

146 Building Empathy

155 The Human Element

69 Leadership & Self-Deception

17 Speaking for Yourself

Please help yourself to any (or all!) of our free infographics in the Essential Tools bin.

Our deepest gratitude to those who post reviews. Thank you!!!

Let us know how we can support you.

Until next month, be well!

Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

Staying Afloat in a Shitstorm May 10, 2023

A highly effective leader finds herself in the middle of a terrible mess, not of her own making. When her coach marvels at her ability to stay calm amidst the chaos, she shares a lesson she learned from her dad.

In addition to the tools discussed during this episode, Tom also talks about:

“Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High.”

Conversations with Coaches – Episode #184

Executive Coaching Special Interest Group

The Feeling Word Grid

This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:

Managing Yourself

Perception – How You Perceive Yourself

Self-Talk

Five episodes to help you manage during difficult times:

109 - Building Emotional Intelligence

52 - Coaching versus Therapy

152 - Combating Emotional Hijacks

75 - “Don’t Take Anything Personally”

171 - Taming the Wild Child

All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin.

Your reviews supporting the show help us continue as an ad-free podcast.

Let us know how we can support you.

Until next month, be well!

Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

How to Command a Room Apr 05, 2023

Wanting to command rooms with her voice, a team leader turned to her coach for exercises. She learned the secrets of “RVP.”

In this episode, five practices to help you develop a voice that will command a room are discussed:

Vocal variety
Expect resistance
Rhythm
Volume
Pitch

This episode has multiple tips and tools for each of those five development areas.

The Zootopia clip that gets so much attention is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHKwnUa3txo

This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:

Communication Skills

Executive Presence

Presentation Skills

Five episodes to help you command a room:

186 Video Feedback & Executive Presence

120 Captivate Your Audience

77 The Power of Rehearsal

64 I Talk Too Fast!

34 Keeping Repeated Material Fresh

All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin.

Thanks for supporting us with your reviews. Let us know how we can support you.

Until next month, be well!

Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

The Sound of Leadership & Management - 2023 Mar 01, 2023

In conversation with her coach, an executive explores whether leaders and managers use language differently in order to be effective in their roles.

There are lots of ideas in this episode. To help you sort the tools and put them into practice, we’ve created an infographic for you to download. It’s in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Help yourself!

This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:

Five related episodes you might listen to are:

139Engagement & Performance

138Managing Disruptive Executives

140 Showing Teeth

148Taming Meetings

156The Voice of Authority

Much gratitude to the folks who post reviews. We appreciate your support and all your kind words.

Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here.

Until next month, be well!

Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

Leadership v Management - 2023 Feb 01, 2023

An executive, in conversation with her coach, wonders if leaders and managers are different. And whether it matters.

This episode has lots of ideas flying around. To help you sort the tools and put them into practice, we’ve created an infographic for you to download. It’s in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Help yourself!

This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:

Five related episodes you might listen to are:

139Dynamic One-on-Ones

138How Teams Fight

179 Managing Former Peers

148Taming Meetings

156The Voice of Authority

We are so grateful to those of you post reviews. It only takes you a minute or two, but it makes a world of difference for us.

Our purpose is to support your growth and development. Let us know how we can help. Be in touch with us here.

Until next month, be well!

Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

Finding a Lighter Path Jan 11, 2023

A leader, stuck in an unhealthy cycle, searches for a way out. In conversation with his coach, he learns a four-square tool that just might work.

A new free Essential Tool illustrating the four-square model is available for download in the Essential Tools bin. No login required. Help yourself.

The model in this month’s episode is a variation on The ACT Matrix. Here’s our favorite YouTube video about The Matrix.

The creators of The ACT Matrix wrote a book to help practitioners use the tool.

This current episode is tagged in the library in three categories:

Developing New Behaviors

Managing Yourself

Self-Talk

Here are five episodes to help you get unstuck:

7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks*

Blind Spots

How to Build Self-Awareness*

How to Grow your Self-Management*

How to Show Up

* Indicates there’s a PDF in the Essential Tools bin to support the ideas in that episode.

We are so excited to dive into the new year with you all!

All the best,

Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

How to Act in Your Own Best Interest Dec 07, 2022

A team leader had a habit of jumping to conclusions. His most recent leap landed him in hot water. In conversation with his coach, he learns a tool for making better choices.

We created a new free Essential Tool illustrating The Ladder of Inference. It’s in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Please help yourself.

The “Don’t Judge Too Quickly” ads are on YouTube here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UP8NRgWtPaE&t=18s

This current episode is tagged in the library in three categories:

Managing Yourself

Perception – How You Perceive Yourself

Personal Growth & Self-Development

In addition to the various episodes listed above, five that will help you think about your thinking are:

102 – Getting Unstuck

210 – How to Grow Your Self-Management

63 – Positive Opposites

154 – Self-Limiting Beliefs

190 – Thinking Errors

Safe and sane holidays, everyone. See you in the New Year!

With gratitude,

Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

How to Turn on Your Executive Thinking Nov 02, 2022

A senior executive worries that his lieutenants are not being taken seriously by the senior leadership team. He discusses with a coach how to help his rising leaders accelerate their growth. This is that conversation.

We created a new free Essential Tool for you called “Executive Thinking.” It illustrates the “altitude” analogy Tom told during the episode. It also supports one of the four exercises you can do with your team.

Additional Essential Tools that support other exercises are “Before You Write Your Presentation” and “Sorting & Labeling.”

Liberating Structures is the free resource Tom was raving about. The specific exercise he mentioned was TRIZ.

Tom has talked about Liberating Structures in the episodes “How to Re-engage a Team” and “Leading Offsites.”

If you’re approaching year-end performance reviews, there are tools to support you – no matter which side of the review you’re on! – in Performance Reviews.

Tom referenced two shows that can help you learn Sorting & Labeling.

Coaching For Leaders with Dave Stachowiak: The Way to Make Sense to Others.

The Everyday Innovator with Chad McCallister: How Product Managers Look & Sound like Leaders.

This current episode is tagged in the library in three categories:

Executive Presence

Leadership

Perception – How You’re Perceived

In addition to the various episodes listed above, five that relate specifically to executive thinking are:

180 Becoming Expert

193 Branding Yourself

202 The Executive Executive

178 Executive Presence – Three Pillars

11 Sounding Executive

As we hurtle in our year-end traditions, stay mindful!

Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

How to Disarm a Trigger Oct 05, 2022

A leader causing upset among her people is given a coach. In conversation, they examine what might be triggering people to be upset with her. The exploration leads to a simple, yet difficult, idea.

Transcripts of every episode are available for download in our library.

Tom mentioned two episodes with mindfulness tools. They are:

The Mindful Executive

The Focused Executive.

This episode is filed in three categories in the library:

Managing Yourself

Personal Growth & Self-Development

Self-Talk

In addition to the mindfulness episodes, five other related episodes are:

204 Blind Spots

119 Creating Devoted Followers

171 Taming the Wild Child

190 Thinking Errors

96 The Many Parts of You

Listen to Tom’s conversation with Kim O’Hara on “You Should Write a Book About That.”

Listen to Tom’s conversation with Marcel van de Hoef on “The Happy Investor.”

Gratitude to those who POST REVIEWS. You are life-sustaining! Thank you!

Got a question you think a coach could help with? We’re happy to talk! Get in touch with us here.

Until next month, stay healthy and be well.

Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

Responsibility Charting Sep 07, 2022

A team leader is tired of kerfuffles. In conversation with her coach, she learns to use a simple chart that generates almost miraculous results.

The chart is available to you here. Please, help yourself.

Other tools for leading your team that Tom mentioned in this episode include The Five Dysfunctions of a Teamby Patrick Lencioni.

You can download a sample of the team development tool based on the book that Tom mentioned. The Five Behaviors of a Cohesive Team assessment is available to you here.

If you’re looking to pick Tom’s brain a little more, all his interviews are available to you in Conversations.

His conversation on Keys to the Shop is available here. His conversation on Next Gen Leadership is available here.

This month’s episode is tagged in the Podcast Library under

Leadership

Leading Teams

Management Skills

Related episodes you might listen to are:

91 Facilitating Open Dialogue

149 How Teams Fight

181 Inviting Dialogue

175 Leading Offsites

148 Taming Meetings

195 The Intentional Leader

As ever, we cannot give enough thanks to those of you who post reviews. Thank you for your support and kind words.

Got a question about your career and how coaching might help? Get in touch with us here.

Until next month, stay healthy and be well.

Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

The Conflict Conversation Aug 03, 2022

What’s helpful to say when you’re in an argument? How can you prepare to have an argument? This month’s coaching conversation dives deeper into the topic of “Conflict” which began last month. This episode has scripts and concepts for mastering The Conflict Conversation.

We’ve created another PDF to support your leadership development. It’s a feedback model detailing actions and intentions for you. If you’re serious about your leadership, you have to be serious about mastering the art of feedback. Grab this Essential Tool and dig in. It’s waiting for you in our Tools bin.

This month’s episode is tagged in the Podcast Library under

Communication Skills

Relationship Building

For Women

Related episodes you might listen to are:

#61 A Difficult Conversation

#73 Disagree Agreeably

#72 Getting Agreement

#27 Repairing Damaged Relationships

#88 Resolving Conflict

Thanks this month, and every month, to those of you who post reviews. We are so grateful for your support and kind words.

If you have a question about your career and how coaching might help, be in touch with us here.

Until next month, stay healthy and be well.

Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

Conflict Jul 06, 2022

Conflict is inevitable, but most of us were never taught skills to help us find our way through the dark corridors of this house called “Conflict.” This month’s coaching conversation illuminates predictable patterns and practical tools to navigate successfully through Conflict House.

If you’re looking to develop your executive presence, our latest PDF is for you. It talks about the four factors every executive needs to be effective. It’s free. You can find it in our Tools bin. Help yourself.

This month’s episode is tagged in the Podcast Library under

Relationship Building

Related episodes you might listen to are:

61 A Difficult Conversation

73 Disagree Agreeably

72 Getting Agreement

27 Repairing Damaged Relationships

88 Resolving Conflict

Tom references the book “Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most” by Stone, Patton and Heen, from the Harvard Negotiation Project.

As always, thanks to the folks who post reviews. We are so grateful for your support and kind words.

If you have a question about your career and how coaching might help, be in touch with us here.

Until next month, stay healthy and be well.

Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

Holding Boundaries Jun 08, 2022

A leader, often reticent to speak up on her own behalf, learns tools to help her ask for what she wants without worrying she’ll incite a battle.

This month we’ve created another free PDF for you in our Tools bin. This one is to help you use video playback to achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership.

This month’s episode is tagged in the Podcast Library in these three categories:

Assertiveness

Communication Skills

Managing Yourself

Related episodes you might listen to are:

188 Boundaries

164 Conflict

165 The Conflict Conversation

86 Intimacy in Business: Setting Boundaries

88 Resolving Conflict

We send gratitude to the people posting reviews. Thank you for your support and kind words.

If you have a question about your career and how coaching might help, be in touch with us here.

Until next month, stay healthy and be well.

Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

How to Set Boundaries May 04, 2022

Kindness is killing a leader’s ability to set and hold effective boundaries. She works with her coach to find her voice and along the way discovers an empowering image about boundaries.

We’ve put lots of free PDFs in our Tools bin to help you achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership.

This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:

Assertiveness

Managing Yourself

Self-Talk

Five related episodes you might listen to are:

216 7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks

204 Blind Spots

188 Boundaries

210 How to Grow Your Self-Management

190 Thinking Errors

Much gratitude to the folks who post reviews. We appreciate your support you’re your kind words.

Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here.

Until next month, be well!

Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

Two Paths to Flow Apr 06, 2022

A worried leader seeks help finding balance between going with the flow and giving himself a larger voice.

Visit our Tools bin for free PDFs to help you achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership.

This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:

Assertiveness

Managing Yourself

Relationship Building

Five related episodes you might listen to are:

21Eliminating Distractions

59 Focus in the Face of Distractions

30Self-Knowledge as Leadership

184 The Focused Executive

142 The Mindful Executive

Tom also talked about two books in this episode:

“Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience”by Mihaly Csikszentmlhalyi

“The Trust Advisor”by David Maister, et al

Thanks to everyone who posts reviews, and thanks so much for your kind words!

Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here.

Until next month, be well!

Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

How Leaders Can ‘Play Better Poker’ Mar 02, 2022

A missed promotion prompts a leader to complain to her CEO. The CEO responds by getting her a coach, which results in explorations of authenticity, self-awareness and self-management.

Visit our Tools bin for free PDFs to help you achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership.

This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:

Managing Yourself

Perception - How You Perceive Yourself

Perception - How You’re Perceived

Seven related episodes you might listen to are:

#71 – Act “As If”

#204 – Blind Spots

#110 – Creating New Behaviors

#103 – Self-Awareness & Self-Management

#85 – Stop Giving Away Your Secrets

#190 – Thinking Errors

#51 – When Learning Makes Things Worse

Thanks to everyone who posts reviews. And thank you so much for your kind words!

Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here.

Until next month, be well!

Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks Feb 02, 2022

A leader, ashamed of hurtful words she spoke to a colleague, explores what happened with her coach. She learns seven techniques for keeping herself from future emotional hijacks.

Download a free PDF about the seven steps to help you stop emotional hijacks here.

This episode is tagged in five categories in the Podcast Library:

Seven related episodes you might listen to are:

#109 Building Emotional Intelligence

#147 Conquering Fear

#74 Dealing with Emotional Responses

#142 The Mindful Executive

#22 Negative Self-Talk

#103 Self-Awareness & Self-Management

# 171 Taming the Wild Child

Post a review and help us cross the 1,000 review mark!

As we hurtle into 2022, all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership wish you a wonderful year of health, growth, and curiosity.

Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

How To Stay Calm Under Fire Jan 05, 2022

A leader is given a presentation coach and two goals: ‘tell a better story’ and ‘be more responsive in the moment.’ This episode is the coaching conversation about the second goal: be responsive in the moment.

This episode is tagged in four categories in the Podcast Library:

Six related episodes you might listen to are:

#214 How to Turn Data Into Stories

#160Prepping Like a TED Talker

#157Talking Like a TED Talker

#161Performing Like a TED Talker

#77The Power of Rehearsal

#65Sorting & Labeling

Join us this month for two free mini-courses facilitated by Susan Smalley:

Skills of a Great Manager

Leadership Circle for Women

Listen to Tom’s interview on The Remarkable Coach podcast where he and host Michael Pacheco talked about Tom’s 30 years of coaching.

Post a review and help us cross the 1,000 review mark!

All of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership wish you a safe, healthy year of growth and curiosity.

Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

How To Turn Data into Stories Dec 01, 2021

A leader is given a presentation coach and two goals: ‘tell a better story’ and ‘be more responsive in the moment.’ This episode is the coaching conversation about telling a better story.

There are four tools in the episode:

1. Grab our list of questions [please link to the PDF]

2. Build a puzzle for your listeners

3. Create a hero in jeopardy

4. Work with a partner – cautiously!

This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:

Communication Skills

Executive Presence

Presentation Skills

Five related episodes you might listen to are:

3 Stories – The Ultimate Persuaders

56 What Compelling Speakers Share

77 The Power of Rehearsal

84 Making Stories Soar

120 Captivate Your Audience

160 Prepping Like a TED Talker

In January, free mini-courses resume. Check out these two learning opportunities:

Skills of a Great Manager

Leadership Circle for Women

As we approach the threshold of a new year, I wish you curiosity and growth.

Thanks for all the support! See you in the new year!

Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

How to Re-engage a Team Nov 03, 2021

Worried that working remotely has disconnected her team, a leader asks her coach for help and learns a powerful tool.

Being able to lead your team in growth exercises is a critical leadership skill. This episode is full of tips and guidance for strengthening that muscle.

Tom strongly endorses the Liberating Structures website. Lots of amazing free resources there.

He also recommends a conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching for Leaders about “How to Lead an Offsite.”

This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:

Communication Skills

Leading Teams

Management Skills

Five related episodes you might listen to are:

143 – Power Tools for Teams: Plus/Delta

149 – How Teams Fight

175 – Leading Offsites

181 - Inviting Dialogue

194 - Connecting Over Video

In January, free mini-courses will resume. Check out these two learning opportunities:

Skills of a Great Manager

Leadership Circle for Women

Gratitude went to Sarah Brown for having Tom as a guest on an episode of The KTS Success Factor podcast. Hear all the tips here.

Gratitude also, as always, to those who reach out to us and to those who post reviews. Thank you so much! Be in touch here.

From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well. Stay healthy and safe.

Thanks for listening.

See you next month!

How To Coach Your People Oct 06, 2021

A no-nonsense leader is asked to add coaching to her list of duties. She turns to the coach who’d coached her for a quick immersion course.

Coaching your people requires a shift in thinking and a specific set of behaviors. These ideas are captured in a PDF about the GROW model. It’s available to you for free here.

This month we are offering three free mini-courses. Come join us!

Demystifying Workplace Conflict

Understanding Yourself and Others (DiSC)

Get 15% off your registration with either of these courses by using the coupon code PODCAST at checkout. Offer applies to your first registration.

The Look & Sound of Leadership

Get 50% off our flagship course with the coupon code LEADERSHIP at checkout!

During the episode, Tom and Laurel mentioned Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes are High. A great skill-building resource.

This episode lives in three categories in the Podcast Library:

Management Skills

Perception – How you Perceive Others

Relationship Building.

Five related episodes you might listen to are:

132 – Coaching Your People

91 – Facilitating Open Dialogue

155 – The Human Element

83 – Leadership and Listening

26 – Questions as Leadership

You can explore more ideas about coaching your people on Dave Stachowiak’s Coaching For Leaders podcast. Episode 190: How to Improve Your Coaching Skills.

Tom raved about Dave’s conversation with Connson Locke. That’s on Coaching for Leadership, Episode 546: How to Speak Up.

Catch Tom answering coaching questions on the Unlocking Leadership – Ask the Coaches podcast.
How To Build Executive Presence
How to Become a Strategic Thinker
Rebuilding Engagement prior to Restructuring, Can an Executive Coach Help?

Gratitude, as always, to those who reach out to us and to those who post reviews. Thanks!

From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be healthy and safe.

Thanks for listening.

See you next month!

How To Show Up Sep 01, 2021

Frustrated at not showing up the way she wants to, a leader, in conversation with her coach, explores ways to integrate her values into her behavior.
To show up as more of whatever you want to be, ask yourself:

What would be different if I were a little braver right now?
What would a brave person do right now?
What would I think, or what would I feel, if I were my bravest self right now?
How is my self-talk helping how I show up?
How is my self-talk holding me back in how I show up?
(Substitute your own spine word for “brave.”)

Three books to build muscle around how you show up.

The PDF “Six Books for Growth” is available here. Or email Tom and he’ll send it to you.
This episode connects to two previous episodes featuring Chin-Sun: How to Build Your Self-Awareness and How to Grow Your Self-Management.
On September 7, a new podcast featuring Tom goes live: “Unlocking Leadership – Ask the Coaches.” Available online, on your podcast app and YouTube.
Meet our fabulous facilitators and browse our catalogue of courses.
Courses currently open for registration are:
Dare to Lead – full course
Career Wellness – free mini-course
Improv for Leadership – free mini-course
Get 15% off your first course with the promo code: PODCAST
This episode is in the library under four filters:
For Women
Managing Yourself
Self-Talk

Five specific episodes you might listen to are:
71. Act As If
162. Acting on the Corporate Stage
174. Animating Your Persona
154. Self-Limiting Beliefs
176. The Executive Impostor
Gratitude, as always, to those who reach out to us and those who post reviews. Thanks!
From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be healthy and safe.
Thanks for listening.
See you next month!

How To Grow Your Self-Management Aug 04, 2021

In this episode, a leader feels she lacks courage. She engages her coach in a conversation about how to use self-awareness and self-management as tools to help her become a little bolder.

The self-talk scripts discussed in this episode, plus the four-box process Tom described, are available to you in a PDF. You can request it in an email to Tom here or you can download the PDF here.

Other resources mentioned in this episode:

Last month’s episode connects (like Pop Beads!) to this episode: How to Build Self-Awareness

E.Q. Applied by Justin Bariso – a helpful, friendly book chock-full of exercises.

Nathaniel Branden’s work on self-esteem – profound thoughts and powerful prompts.

Dan Harris’s podcast 10% Happier

Meet our fabulous facilitators and browse our catalogue of courses.

Courses currently open for registration are:

Dare to Lead – free mini-course and full course

Career Wellness – free mini-course

Get 15% off your first course with the promo code: PODCAST

This episode is in the library under four filters:

Assertiveness

Developing New Behaviors

Managing Yourself

Self-Talk

Five specific episodes you might listen to are:

162. Acting on the Corporate Stage

109. Building Emotional Intelligence

110. Creating New Behaviors

176. The Executive Impostor

25. How Behaviors Change

Plus a bonus episode:

103. Self-Awareness & Self-Management

Much gratitude to those of you who reach out to us and those who post reviews. Thank you!

From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be healthy and safe.

Thanks for listening.

See you next month!

How To Build Self-Awareness Jun 30, 2021

Self-awareness, like any muscle, can be built through discipline.In this episode, a leader learns two exercises to help build awareness of her thoughts and feelings.

The two exercises discussed in this episode are detailed in a PDF that we’d love to send you. Send us an email and we’ll send back the PDF. The PDF also contains the Feeling Words Grid.

Other resources mentioned in this episode:

E.Q. Applied by Justin Bariso – a helpful, friendly book chock-full of exercises.

Sort the episode library using the filter Feedback. Good feedback will build your self-awareness, for sure!

Five episodes to listen to:

#103 Self-Awareness & Self-Management

#109 Building Emotional Intelligence

#25 How Behaviors Change

#142 The Mindful Executive

#190 Thinking Errors

Gratitude to those who are in touch and who post reviews.

From the entire team at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well. And thanks for listening.

See you next month!

The Democratic Leader Jun 02, 2021

A new leader worries about having to become a dictator in order to meet her goals. She and her coach explore the challenges inherent in trying to be a truly democratic leader.

Core concepts in this episode:

When pressured, many leaders revert to giving orders.
People need time to feel safe speaking up to a new leader.
A democratic leader doesn’t have to give everyone their way, just give everyone their say.
When listening to ideas, just listen. Don’t fix or tweak or improve.

The Essential Communications website has many free resources for you.

The entire archive of episodes going back more than a decade is free and available to you.

Categories in the archive related to this episode are:
Leading Teams
Leadership
Perception – How You’re Perceived

Related episodes are:

How Teams Fight
Inviting Dialogue
Psychological Safety
Taming Meetings
The Conflict Conversation

If you’d like to be a tester for the new Essential Communications website, shoot Tom an email.

In this episode, Tom mentioned:

A progressive elementary school in Van Nuys, CA. The school is Children’s Community School.

Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office by Lois Frankel

Dare to Lead by Brené Brown

Tom’s conversation with Ben Ritter on “The Live for Yourself Revolution.”

COACHES! Join Tom at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by the Los Angeles Chapter of ICF. Non-members pay $10 to attend. This month’s topic: Team & Group Coaching.

Tough Conversations May 05, 2021

A leader, initially described to his coach as clueless, confronts a hard truth about himself. In the process, he gains a four-step tool to guide him through tough conversations.

Core Concepts in this episode:
To convey a tough message and maintain a positive relationship:
1. Start with a full-stop. Act, don’t RE-act. Identify why this conversation is important.

2. Express intention. Say why you’re having the conversation and what your concerns are.

3. Be clear. Be simple. Identify what you wish were different specifically.

4. Attend to the relationship. At every step, even in the conversation, consider the other person.

Related Archive Categories:
Communication Skills
Management Skills
Relationship Skills

Related Tips & Episodes:
Combating Emotional Hijacks

The Conflict Conversation

A Difficult Conversation

Short Sounds Confident

Smoothing Harsh Edges

Books to boost your skills in tough conversation:

Difficult Conversations

Crucial Conversations

The library of all the past episodes is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast

Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

Thanks to all of you who are in touch and who post reviews. Much gratitude!

See you next month!

Understanding Feedback Mar 31, 2021

This month’s coaching conversation explores ways to make feedback more palatable. The secret: sort the feedback you receive into three distinct categories.

Many ideas in this episode and last month’s episode are explained more fully in the book: ‘Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well – even when it is off base, unfair, poorly delivered and, frankly, you’re not in the mood.’”

Related episodes are:

Unblocking Feedback (from last month)
Don’t Take Anything Personally
Getting Good Feedback
Handling Feedback Effectively
Perception is Reality

In the archive, this Tip is tagged in three categories
Feedback
Leadership
Managing Yourself

Tom has three leadership interviews that have gone live this month:

Coaching For Leaders: Episode 518
A deep 40-min dive into “Sorting & Labeling"

Fidelis Leadership Podcast: Episode 37
A wide-ranging 60-min exploration of leadership

Ultimate Leadership Podcast: 02/08/21
A fast-paced 25-min examination of your readiness for coaching

The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at:
http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Subscribe to the HTML version at:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:
info@essentialcomm.com

See you next month!

From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!

Unblocking Feedback Mar 03, 2021

This month’s coaching conversation follows a client as he works to shrink his blind spot through feedback. He and Tom discuss lowering the barriers that stop us all from taking in feedback.

In the episode Tom mentions “Thanks for the Feedback” by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen.

Tom also mentioned the PDF showing The Johari Window.

Related episodes are:

Feedback

Leadership

Managing Yourself

Perception – How You Perceive Yourself

Five related episodes you might listen to are:

Getting Good Feedback

Handling Feedback Effectively

Perception is Reality

Performance Reviews

Soliciting Feedback

The full archive of episodes is at:
http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Subscribe to the HTML version at:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:
tom@essentialcomm.com

See you next month!

From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!

Blind Spots Feb 03, 2021

This month’s coaching conversation features a leader too talented to lose but too troublesome to keep. Tom talks with him about blind spots and how he might reduce his.

PDFs for you:
The Johari Window

Who’s Coachable

Win an hour of free coaching with Tom. Complete our survey.

The full archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast

Related Archive Categories:
Perception – How You Perceive Yourself

Self-Talk

Managing Yourself

Personal Growth & Self-Development

Related Episodes:
Thinking Errors

Boundaries

The Executive Impostor

Combatting Emotional Hijacks

Self-Awareness & Self-Management

Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

Thanks for completing the survey. We’re excited to share the new website we’re building for you.

Thanks again for posting reviews!

Stay positive. Test negative.

See you next month!

The Show Must Go On Jan 22, 2021

In this special episode, Tom tells a story of being onstage one night in front of a packed theatre audience when the show most definitely did NOT go on. He also shares the lesson he learned from that calamity — a lesson he has subsequently shared with the hundreds of leaders he’s coached who need confidence as presenters.

The archive of all the past episodes is available at:

http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Subscribe to the HTML version at:

https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:

info@essentialcomm.com

From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — enjoy!

The Executive Executive Jan 13, 2021

This month’s coaching conversation is between Tom and Courtney, another executive coach. What traits, they wonder, do effective executives share? If rising leaders wanted to reverse engineer what it means to be executives, what would they put in the mix?

The five qualities Tom and Courtney identify are:

Resilience -- get over hurts and setbacks

Influence – build a natural reserve of strong relationships

Organization – create lead-time and eliminate fire drills

Scope – maintain the highest altitude possible; resist the weeds

Speed of Thought – exert alertness and be mentally nimble

At the end of this month’s commentary, Tom lists six books, each one different, but all leading towards personal growth and professional development. They are…

Change Your Questions, Change Your Life

The Confidence Code

Crucial Conversations or Difficult Conversations

EQ Applied

Self-Esteem at Work

The Four Agreements

Want a free PDF of these titles, including who might prefer which? Click here and put “6 Books” in the subject line. We’ll send you the PDF.

Want to win an hour of free coaching with Tom? Complete this short survey to be entered in a drawing.

https://essentialcomm.com/survey/

To dig deeper into your own development, search the episode archive using these filters:

Executive Presence

Managing Yourself

The Rising Executive Dec 09, 2020

This month’s coaching conversation features a newly promoted leader. He and Tom explore the tools needed to build a strong team quickly.

Lots of links this month!

At one point in the episode, Rafael mentions his impostor syndrome. For tools about impostor syndrome, check out:
The Executive Impostor

In the commentary, I mention two books:
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team
and
Overcoming The Five Dysfunctions of a Team

This is the field guide that will show you how to work with your team.

Other related episodes are:
Delivering Tough Feedback

Managing Bad Behavior

The Intentional Leader

Your Team’s Best Interests – Part One

Your Team’s Best Interests – Part Two

There are three filters in the archive that relate to this episode:
Leading Teams
Negative Self-Talk
Perception — How You Perceive Yourself

The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at:
http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Subscribe to the HTML version at:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:
info@essentialcomm.com

As I celebrate the end of this distressing year and look towards a brighter 2021, you are all in my thoughts.

See you next month!

From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!

Two dates & a gift — A bonus episode! Nov 20, 2020

Two dates:
Monday, November 30, 2020
The survey closes.

Complete four questions to be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom

https://essentialcomm.com/survey

Thursday, December 3, 2020

Registration closes for “Leveraging Your Strengths and the Strengths of Others.”

After decades delivering courses for our corporate clients, we finally created a course for you.

Register at:

https://essentialcomm.com/disc

The gift is a 60-second practice to help you be strong and resilient.

Take care of yourselves!

From everyone at “The Look & Sound of Leadership”

Style Conversations Nov 04, 2020

This month’s coaching conversation is about creating a script called ‘Style.’ The script helps make difficult conversations easier.

Complete this month’s four-question survey and be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom.

essentialcomm.com/survey

Sign-up for a small-group, highly interactive Zoom course about the DiSC Behavioral Self-Assessment. This course is available to the first 12 people who sign up:

essentialcomm.com/disc

If the sign-up is closed when you go to the page, put your name on the wait list. Maybe we’ll have more than one session!

Related episodes this month include:

Capitalizing on Differences in Style (this one is all about DiSC styles!)

Conflict

Leadership and Self-Deception

Self-Knowledge as Leadership

The Conflict Conversation

Stay safe, everyone. Sane, too!

See you next month.

The Look & Sound of Leadership team

Personal Connections Sep 30, 2020

This month’s coaching conversation follows a leader who worries that he’s not very adept when it comes to creating personal connections. He and Tom explore two skills and one mindset that will help ease his way.

Questions as Leadership

The Human Element

In the archive, this episode is tagged in three categories
Relationship Building
Social Skills

Managing Yourself

Help us build a better website for you. Complete our survey at:
essentialcomm.com/survey
and be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom!

The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at:
http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Subscribe to the HTML version at:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:
info@essentialcomm.com

Thanks, everyone!

From all of us at “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!

Psychological Safety Sep 02, 2020

This month’s coaching conversation explores how leaders can foster psychological safety. Teams high in both safety and accountability enter a “Learning Zone” where high performance follows naturally.

In this month’s conversation, Tom and his client mentioned “The Checklist Manifesto” by Atul Gawande. His proposition is a great formula for creating psychological safety.

Related episodes are:
Agreeable Disagreement

Assertion versus Aggression

“Don’t Take Anything Personally”

Inviting Dialogue

The Conflict Conversation

In the archive, this Tip is tagged in three categories
Assertiveness

Leadership

Managing Yourself

The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at:
http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Subscribe to the HTML version at:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:
info@essentialcomm.com

PLEASE COMPLETE OUR SURVEY You’ll be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom! Your input will help us build a better website for you. essentialcomm.com/survey

From the whole team at “The Look & Sound of Leadership” — thanks! See you next month!

Giving Upward Feedback Aug 05, 2020

This month’s coaching conversation explores whether feedback should be given upwards in the first place. If so, are there ways to deliver upward feedback effectively?

In the commentary, Tom tells a story about the famous Marshmallow Test being debunked. Here's the column he mentions:
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/06/marshmallow-test/561779/?utm_source=atl&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=share

Related episodes are:
Dealing With Emotional Responses

Delivering Tough Feedback

Giving Powerful Feedback

Perception is Reality

The Disruptive Executive – Part One

In the archive, this Tip is tagged in three categories
Communication Skills
Feedback
Managing Up

The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at:
http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Subscribe to the HTML version at:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:
info@essentialcomm.com

See you next month!

Learnings From Video Jul 08, 2020

This month’s coaching conversation follows a client exploring a surprising use for video, plus a game of imagination.

The Marshmallow Test is explained in “Self-Awareness & Self-Management”

Core Concepts in this episode:
Video provides distance that can help break old patterns.

Some people are highly agitated these days.

Their agitation is not about you. Don’t take it personally.

You might find yourself more annoyed than normal. Don’t act on it.

RELATED ARCHIVE CATEGORIES

Leading Teams

Managing Yourself

Communication Skills

RELATED TIPS & EPISODES

Boundaries

Connecting Over Video

“Don’t Take Anything Personally”

Leadership Behavior in Meetings

Taming Meetings

The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast

Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

Thanks this month to all of you who post reviews.

See you next month!

The Intentional Leader Jun 03, 2020

This month’s coaching conversation wrestles with the obstacles that arise when you try listening to people who think out loud – often at great length!

This month’s coaching conversation is wide-ranging. It includes a leader’s story about being buoyed by her team. She and Tom also swap answers to a favorite question of her team’s: “How’re ya coping?” They then explore managing stress through being present and intentional.

Three questions to help you become present:

What am I doing right now?

What feelings am I having right now?

What is happening in my body right now?

Approach these questions with curiosity. Don’t ask with an intention to fix. The intention is just to notice.

You can explore self-management and self-awareness in the archive using the filters:

Managing Yourself

Personal Growth & Self-Development

You can take a deeper dive with these five episodes:

Combating Emotional Hijacks

Connecting Over Video

Inviting Dialogue

Self-Awareness & Self-Management

The Mindful Executive

The archive is at:

https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Subscribe to the HTML version at:

https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:

https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

Until next month, wishing you health and safety!

Connecting Over Video May 06, 2020

SHOWNOTES:
This month’s coaching conversation is with a leader who wants to keep strong connections despite the quarantine. She and Tom explore the barriers that make connecting over video so difficult.

Four essentials to attend to on video:

Angle
Lighting
Background
Sound

From Tom to you:

These difficult times can create a lot of fear. An antidote is to be curious. Curiosity is at the very heart of coaching. If I can help in anyway, let me know. Go to https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ and let me know what would be helpful.

There is always help for you in the archive. Filters that relate to this month’s episode are:

Five related episodes are:

The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast

Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

Stay safe all you wonderful humans! Until next month!

Branding Yourself Apr 01, 2020

This month’s coaching conversation explores how to project your personal brand into the workplace. When done well it can seem like a Jedi mind trick – but it’s really just personal branding.

Here are the five links Tom mentioned in the episode.
Looking good in video conferencing

https://medium.com/@bobsacha/a-cinematographers-guide-to-looking-good-in-web-based-video-conferencing-fb6cf651714c

4 Ways to Improve Video Meetings

https://www-forbes-com.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/www.forbes.com/sites/markmurphy/2020/03/22/these-four-techniques-will-instantly-improve-your-videoconferences-with-remote-employees/amp/

Coronavirus Doctor Empowers Us

https://vimeo.com/399733860

“That Discomfort You’re Feeling…”

https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief

Executive Coaching Group

https://www.icfla.org/event/executive-coaching-sig/

Core Concepts in this episode:
> We brand ourselves with our self-talk every day

> Find language to help you talk about yourself

> Talking about yourself is not a bad thing

> Find words that spark an image of the brand you want to be. Think of them as often as you can.

Related Archive Categories:
Executive Presence,

Perception – How You’re Perceived

Self-Talk

Related Tips & Episodes:
Becoming Expert

Acting On The Corporate Stage

The Voice of Authority

Conquering Fear

Achieving Authenticity

The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast

Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

Thanks everyone. Stay safe. Stay Home! Do it for the First Team!

See you next month!

Pursuing A Promotion 2020 Mar 04, 2020

This month’s coaching conversation is with a high-performer who was passed over for a promotion. Together, she and Tom identify tools to make sure she doesn’t get passed over again.

Core Concepts in this episode:
> Aisha chose to NOT be self-promotional. In your organization, a more vocal approach may be effective.

> Click out. Think from a higher altitude. Give yourself the promotion.

> Networking is not evil. But have intention. Be a good detective.

Related Archive Categories:
Managing Yourself

The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast

Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

Thanks this month to Paul Ison and George Avelino. You guys are the best.

And thanks to all of you who are in touch and who post reviews. So much thanks!

See you next month!

Coaching Under Attack Feb 05, 2020

This month’s coaching conversation isn’t so much a conversation as a fencing match. A newly installed president grills Tom about the coaching he’s been delivering at her company for years.

There are two different strands you might follow from this episode. One is about coaching. You might listen to these episodes:
Coaching Your People
Coaching Versus Therapy
Readiness in Coaching

Another strand you might follow is about self-management. Episodes on that strand would be:
Creating New Behaviors
How Behaviors Change
High Stakes Meetings

You could also search the archive using the filters:
Developing New Behaviors
Personal Growth & Self-Development
Self-Talk

The archive is at:
https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Subscribe to the HTML version at:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:
https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

From all of us, thanks!

See you next month!

Thinking Errors Jan 08, 2020

This month’s coaching conversation examines phrases we use that lead us into self-deception. Tom and his client explore why thinking errors so often remain invisible and, once revealed, what other words might be possible substitutions.

SHOW NOTES:
Tom mentions two books in this episode:

“How To Raise Your Self-Esteem” by Nathaniel Branden
https://www.amazon.com/Raise-Your-Self-Esteem-Action-Oriented-Self-Confidence/dp/0553266462/

“The Four Agreement” by Don Miguel Ruiz
https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319

Related Tips & Episodes

This Tip is in five categories in the archive:

The archive is at:
https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Get the HTML transcript:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:
https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

From all of us, thanks!

See you next month!

Don’t Take Anything Personally Dec 04, 2019

This month’s coaching conversation wrestles with the eternal struggle to depersonalize the events in our lives that feel so personal. Is it even possible to actualize the adage, “Don’t take it personally?”

Tom mentions two books that can help you manage yourself so you don’t take things personally:
The Four Agreements

Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

In the archive, this Tip is in five categories:
Managing Yourself

Perception – How You Perceive Yourself

Perception – How You Perceive Others

Personal Growth & Self-Development

Self-Talk

Five related Coaching Tips you can listen to are

Acting on the Corporate Stage

Animating Your Persona

Don’t Take It Personally

Self-Limiting Beliefs

Taming the Wild Child

Lots to browse through!

The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Get the HTML transcript:

https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom:

https://essentialcomm.com/contact

From everyone at “The Look & Sound of Leadership,” thanks!

See you next month!

Boundaries Nov 13, 2019

This month’s coaching conversation explores how hard it can be to say ‘no’ sometimes. Together, Tom and his client come up with four strategies for setting better boundaries.This month’s coaching conversation explores how hard it can be to say ‘no’ sometimes. Together, Tom and his client come up with four strategies for setting better boundaries.

Tom mentions three books that will help you speak up and set boundaries:

Crucial Conversations
https://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-Second/dp/0071771328/

The Four Agreements
https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Toltec-Wisdom-Collection/dp/1878424580/

Leadership and Self-Deception
https://www.amazon.com/Leadership-Self-Deception-Getting-Out-Box/dp/1523097809/

If you want to receive a zip file with Executive Coaching Tips related to assertiveness, reach out to Tom at: info@essentialcomm.com

This Tip is in four categories in the archive:
Developing New Behaviors
Personal Growth & Self-Development
Self-Talk
For Women

Lots to browse through!

Five related Coaching Tips you can listen to are

Act “As If”
The Executive Impostor
The Many Parts of You
Taming the Wild Child
Self-Awareness & Self-Management

The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Get the HTML transcript:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom:
https://essentialcomm.com/contact
From everyone at “The Look & Sound of Leadership,” thanks!

See you next month!

Agreeable Disagreement Oct 09, 2019

This month’s coaching conversation follows an executive’s journey from a bulldozer, rolling over people and their ideas, to a thoughtful seeker of ways to get his ideas heard while also building positive relationships.

Related episodes are:
Assertion versus Aggression
Be Impeccable With Your Word
Disagree Agreeably – yes, that was an episode long ago!
Don’t Take It Personally
The Conflict Conversation
Sorting & Labeling

This Tip is in four categories in the archive:
Communication Skills
Executive Presence
For Women
Relationship Building

The archive is at:
https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Get the HTML transcript:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:
https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

From all of us, thanks!

See you next month!

Video Feedback & Executive Presence Sep 04, 2019

This month’s coaching conversation centers on learning how to watch yourself on video. It might be uncomfortable at times, but the benefits are enormous.

During the commentary, Tom talks about a checklist for you. It’s here.

direct link: https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/Video-Review-Checklist.pdf

Related episodes are
Captivate Your Audience

Executive Presenting

“I Talk Too Fast!”

Performing Like a TED Talker

The Power of Rehearsal

This Tip is in these categories in the archive:

Executive Presence
Feedback
Presentation Skills
Perception – How You Perceive Yourself

The archive is at:
https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Get the HTML transcript:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Tom is at:
info@essentialcomm.com

From all of us here, thanks!

See you next month!

The Talky Executive Aug 07, 2019

This month’s coaching conversation wrestles with the obstacles that arise when you try listening to people who think out loud – often at great length!

In the archive, this Tip is tagged in four categories
Communication Skills
Leadership
Relationship Building
Social Skills

The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at:
https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Subscribe to the HTML version at:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:
info@essentialcomm.com

See you next month!

From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!

The Focused Executive Jul 10, 2019

This month’s coaching conversation focuses on a leader who finds herself in a storm of heavy seas. To help her find calm, Tom shares a technique from his past.

You can grab the PDF that Tom mentions in this episode at:
https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/MindfulnessResources.pdf

In the archive, this episode is tagged in four categories:
For Women
Managing Yourself
Personal Growth & Self-Development
Self-Talk

The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is at:
https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Subscribe to the HTML version and get transcripts of each month’s episode at:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:
https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

Thanks, all! See you next month!

"The Look & Sound of Leadership" team

Fighting Authority Jun 05, 2019

This month’s coaching conversation revolves around a former client’s direct report who is caught up in old wiring which is short-circuiting his effectiveness.

This episode is tagged in six categories. Something of a record!
For Women
Management Skills
Managing Yourself
Perception – How Your Perceive Yourself
Personal Growth & Self-Development
Self-Talk

Here are eight, yes, eight related episodes.
Combating Emotional Hijacks
Conquering Fear
Negative Self-Talk
Self-Limiting Beliefs
Self-Awareness & Self-Management
Taming the Wild Child
The Many Parts of You
Unmasking a Stand-In

The archive is at:
https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Subscribe to the HTML version at:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:
https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

Thanks for your iTunes reviews!!!

Ask The Coaches - Readers' Letters May 01, 2019

This month’s coaching conversation is between Tom Henschel and Mindy Danna who answer questions from our audience. Tom and Mindy have grown up together professionally. He runs Essential Communications where Mindy is a coach. She also works with the cutting-edge global consulting firm Cultivating Leadership.

During the episode, Mindy mentions two books:
"Being the Boss" by Linda Hill & Kent Lineback
"Thanks for the Feedback" by Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen

In the archive, this episode is tagged in four categories:
Feedback
Assertiveness
Management Skills
Managing Up

The archive is at:
https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Subscribe to the HTML version at:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:
https://essentialcomm.com/contact/
or
info@essentialcomm.com

Thanks for your reviews and ratings!

Inviting Dialogue Apr 10, 2019

This months’ coaching conversation is with a leader who genuinely wants open dialogue with his direct reports but finds he may have been unintentionally limiting his conversations.

In the archive, this episode is tagged in four categories:

Communication Skills

Management Skills

Relationship Building

Social Skills

Six related episodes are:

Building Rapport

Communicating With Clarity

Creating New Behaviors

Facilitating Open Dialogue

Leadership & Listening

Questions as Leadership

The archive is at:

https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Subscribe to the HTML version at:

https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:

https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

Thanks for your iTunes reviews!

Becoming Expert Mar 06, 2019

This month’s coaching conversation focuses on a leader striving to become “more visible.” She and Tom imagine raising her presence by giving her a way to speak about herself as an expert without feeling like she’s bragging. A challenging needle to thread!

If you want help on this topic, Tom mentioned a resource he strongly recommends
“Brag! The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It” by Peggy Klaus.

In the archive, this episode is tagged in four categories:
For Women
Executive Presence
Perception - How You're Perceived
Self-Talk

The archive is at:
https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Subscribe to the HTML version at:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:
https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

Managing Former Peers Feb 06, 2019

Internal promotions can be mixed blessings. Managing former peers has the potential to upset everyone. This month’s coaching conversation explores ways to handle this live grenade with aplomb.

Two books mentioned during the commentary:
Difficult Conversions by Stone, Patton & Heen
and
Crucial Conversation by Patterson, et al.

Lots of related episodes mentioned:
Relating to the issue of clarity:
Communicating with Clarity
Creating Clarity
Driving Your Message Home
Sorting & Labeling

Relating to the issue of managing people who are upset:
Combating Emotional Hijacks
Building Emotional Intelligence
Dealing With Emotional Responses

Deep gratitude to those who post reviews. Thanks!

Browse the entire archive at:
https://essentialcomm.com/podcast

Be in touch with us at:
info@essentialcomm.com

Executive Presence - Three Pillars Jan 09, 2019

This month’s coaching conversation explores the three pillars of executive presence.

In this episode's commentary, Tom mentions research about Executive Presence conducted by the Center for Talent Innovation. The key findings are available at:
https://www.talentinnovation.org/publication.cfm?publication=1340

Three episodes grew directly from ideas in that white paper:
Gravitas
Emotional Intelligence
Showing Teeth

The Executive Coaching Tips archive has a filter for "Executive Presence." It's at:
https://essentialcomm.com/tag/executive-presence/

Four additional episodes you might listen to are:
Conquering Fear
Inhabiting Executive Presence
Short Sounds Confident
The Voice of Authority

Browse the entire archive at:
https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Be in touch with us at:
info@essentialcomm.com

Ask The Coaches - Readers’ Letters Dec 12, 2018

This month’s coaching conversation is between Tom Henschel and Mindy Danna who answer questions from our audience. Tom and Mindy have grown up together professionally. He runs Essential Communications where Mindy is a coach. She also works with the cutting-edge global consulting firm Cultivating Leadership.

Tips related to the questions and answers in this episode are:
A Breakdown of Listening

The Executive Impostor

Leadership and Listening

Managing Trauma

Self-Limiting Beliefs

Mindy mentions:
“Being The Boss” by Linda Hill.

Google’s Aristotle Study

Tom mentions:
“What Color is Your Parachute” by Richard Boles

Every episode is available at:
https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Be in touch with us at:
info@essentialcomm.com

The Executive Impostor Nov 07, 2018

This month’s coaching conversation explores that insidious feeling of being an impostor. Research tells us that the vast majority us experience this to some degree at one time or another. Here are ways to combat impostor syndrome.

The two psychology professors mentioned in the episode were Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes at Georgia State University.

The TED Talk is:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whyUPLJZljE

Related Categories in the podcast archive:
For Women
Managing Yourself
Perception – How You Perceive Yourself
Self-Talk

Browse the archive at:
https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Leading Offsites Oct 03, 2018

A senior leader wants to give one of his direct reports the experience of leading her own offsite. This month’s coaching conversation is about how a leader can foster an offsite with the power to create change.

AN INVITATION: Send us questions for our upcoming Q&A episodes! Send your questions to info@essentialcomm.com

In the episode, there are many resources to help you learn to lead activities with your team. The six mentioned in the show are:
"The Fieldbook of Team Interventions" by Harry Eggleton
LiberatingStructures.com
Thiagi.com
"The Five Dysfunctions of a Team" by Patrick Lencioni
"Overcoming the Five Dysfuctions of a Team" by Patrick Lencioni
"Power Tools for Teams: Plus/Delta" April 2016, The Look & Sound of Leaderhip
"Personal Histories as Your Brand" May 2016, The Look & Sound of Leadership

Five episodes to help you build your team leadership skills:
Facilitating Open Dialogue
Leading Teams
Questions as Leadership
Your Team’s Best Interest – Part One
Your Team’s Best Interest – Part Two

Don't forget to send us your questions!

Animating Your Persona Sep 05, 2018

A coaching client needs to exude more presence. Tom proposes a visualization process and walks another coach through it.

In the archive, this episode is tagged in three categories:
Developing New Behaviors,
Perception - How You Perceive Yourself
Personal Growth & Self-Development

Plus, if you want to hear about why our brains find visualization so powerful, listen to:
Prepping Like A TED Talker.

Five listeners posted reviews in iTunes this month. Thanks go out to:
In the US,
Rmb4
catalyst leader
Lisabobbi
Then, from the UK, Ewen C
And from India, FP PJ Sharma
Thanks. We couldn't keep growing without this steady stream of support. Thanks so much!

Every episode is available in the archive at:
https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Subscribe to the HTML version at:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:
https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

Managing Bad Behavior Aug 08, 2018

This month’s coaching conversation focuses on a feedback technique that can help manage bad behavior. The coachee likes the technique so much, he wants to try it on his high performers, too!

Related episodes:

Discussing Difficult Behaviors
Holding People Accountable
Managing Disruptive Executives
Managing Performance: Up or Out
Sorting & Labeling

Every episode is available in the archive at:
https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Subscribe to the HTML version at:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:
https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

To everyone who has ever posted a review for the show in iTunes -- THANK YOU! If you haven't yet, please do. Our survival depends on it. Thanks!

Managing Trauma Jul 11, 2018

This month’s coaching conversation focuses on developing someone who may be a trauma survivor. A team leader’s compassionate caution may not be in the survivor’s best interest.

Every episode is available in the archive at:
https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Subscribe to the HTML version at:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:
https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

Thank you so much for your reviews. It's hard to convey how meaningful those are. You help keep the podcast alive when you post a review. Thanks!

Taming the Wild Child Jun 06, 2018

This month’s coaching conversation features a high-performing client who sometimes wrestles with her fear. Knowing that her fear can diminish her, she seeks a way out.

Tom also talks about the new course "Improv for Leaders” taught by improv master Jeremy Rowley.

Every episode is available in the archive at:
https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Subscribe to the HTML version at:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

Be in touch with Tom at:
https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

And thank you so very much for your reviews. Your contribution is beyond measure when you take a moment to post a review. Thank you!

Readiness in Coaching May 02, 2018

Why do some coaching engagements achieve positive transformations while others get stuck in the starting gate? This month’s coaching conversation explores who’s coachable, who isn’t, and why.

The PDF discussed during this episode can be downloaded at:

https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/ReadinessInCoaching.pdf
The “Who’s Coachable?” episode containing the eight-item list from 2008 is available at:

https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/whos-coachable/

Aside from the “Who’s Coachable?” episode, four other episodes that echo the motifs in this month's Executive Coaching Tip are:
Leading Teams

Managing Disruptive Executives

Managing Performance: Up or Out

Resolving Conflict

Every episode is available at:
http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Be in touch with us at:
info@essentialcomm.com

360s: Weapons or Tools? Apr 04, 2018

360-degree feedback can be intense. Or confusing. Like many reports, it often needs explaining, even if the information is familiar. This month’s coaching conversation explores the many sides of 360s.

Curious to learn more about 360s? Listen to Tom's interview on "Coaching for Leaders." https://coachingforleaders.com/podcast/341/

Want to learn more about quantative 360-degree feedback reports? Contact Envisia Learning. envisialearning.com

Want to learn about qualitative 360-degree feedback reports? Contact us. info@esssentialcomm.com

Want to see a sample of a qualitative feedback report?
https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Sample-360-degree-Feedback-Report.pdf

Every episode is available at:
http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Be in touch with us at:
info@essentialcomm.com

Influence Mar 07, 2018

Who wouldn’t benefit from heftier influence? This month’s coaching conversation digs into two ways to build your influence bank account.

During this month's episode, Tom talks about a behavioral self-assessment called DiSC. See a sample DiSC report here:

https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/AlexBradley.pdf

If you're looking for more Executive Coaching Tips about influence, check the archive filter:

"Perception -- How You're Perceived." There's a lot there about influence. https://essentialcomm.com/tag/perception-how-youre-perceived/

Tom explained a five-point Influence model on "The Everyday Innovator" podcast with Chad McAllister. Episode #162.
https://productinnovationeducators.com/blog/tei-162-how-product-managers-can-influence-people-with-tom-henschel/

Five "Look & Sound of Leadership" episodes relating to this month's conversation are:

A Breakdown of Listening
Building Empathy
Building Rapport
Getting Agreement
Your Goodwill Bank Account

What sort of problems would you like to hear about on the podcast? Write me:
podcasts@essentialcomm.com
or
https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

The Sound of Leadership and of Management Feb 01, 2018

Some ways of speaking lend themselves to more effective management. And some ways of speaking lend themselves to more effective leadership. This episodes explores those differences.

Leadership versus Management Jan 10, 2018

Are leadership and management really different? And does it matter? This month’s coaching conversation explores what separates leadership from management. And what connects them. And why it matters for you and the people you lead.Are leadership and management really different? And does it matter? This month’s coaching conversation explores what separates leadership from management. And what connects them. And why it matters for you and the people you lead.

If you're interested in related episodes, you can search the archive under "Leadership" and/or "Management Skills." Those are at:https://essentialcomm.com/tag/leadership/

and

https://essentialcomm.com/tag/management-skills/

Five specific episodes you can listen to are

Building Empathy
Dynamic One-on-Ones
How Teams Fight
Taming Meetings
The Voice of Authority

During the episode, three lists are built. Here they are:

Leadership behaviors:

Motivating
Aligning
Recognizing patterns
Creating visions and strategies

Management actions:

Staffing
Budgeting
Controlling
Measuring
Problem solving

Relationship skills:

Strong, positive networks
The ability to persuade
Having influence
Using emotional intelligence

The thought leader about leadership versus management is John Kotter from Harvard Business School. He has many books and articles that explore this topic in depth.

The Conflict Conversation Dec 06, 2017

What do you say when you’re in an argument? And how can you prepare to have an argument? This month’s coaching conversation dives deeper into the topic of “Conflict” that began last month. In this installment, scripts and concepts for mastering The Conflict Conversation.

To sharpen your skills, read "Difficult Conversations" by Stone, Patton & Heen from the Harvard Negotiation Project. It's very friendly and very powerful.

Every episode is available at:
http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Be in touch with us at:
info@essentialcomm.com

Conflict Nov 01, 2017

Conflict is inevitable. But most of us were never taught the skills that would help us find our way through the dark corridors of this house called ‘Conflict.’ This month’s coaching conversation illuminates predictable patterns and practical tools to navigate successfully through Conflict House.

The book Tom references in this episode: "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most" by Stone, Patton & Heen.

In the Tips archive is a category called "Relationship Building." Many episodes there have useful tools, too. Help yourself.
https://essentialcomm.com/tag/relationship-building/

Dynamic One-on-ones Oct 04, 2017

There are a million ways to conduct one-on-one meetings with direct reports. How you run yours will reflect your personal style. This month’s coaching conversation focuses on specific best practices that will enhance your one-on-ones no matter what your style.

In the commentary portion of this month's episode is a question for you. Share your thoughts in an email to: info@essentialcomm.com

You can sharpen your management skills with the Executive Coaching Tips in the "Management Skills" category of the archive:
http://essentialcomm.com/tag/management-skills/

These five episodes may be particularly helpful in developing your management skills:
Engagement & Performance
Leading Teams
Managing Performance: Up or Out
Managing Up
Your Team’s Best Interest – Part One

And, if you are going to be giving performance reviews this fall, this episode has helpful tools for you. Give it a listen:
Performance Reviews
http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/performance-reviews/

Every episode is available at:
http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Be in touch with us at:
info@essentialcomm.com

Acting on the Corporate Stage Sep 06, 2017

This month's episode introduces "Acting on the Corporate Stage." That phrase was Tom's original branding phrase, before "The Look & Sound of Leadership" became his branding phrase.

"Acting on the Corporate Stage" aims at helping you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived, which, of course, is the reason d'etre of every episode.

Also this month, Tom shares reflections on attending his first-ever podcaster's convention. And his reflections are all about YOU!

He also points you to two very different interviews on other podcasts:

The Everyday Innovator with Chad McAllister, episode 137. He and Chad deconstruct the "Sorting & Labeling" tool. Very helpful!

Fatherhood 360 with David Wissore, episode 11. While exploring how parenthood influences leadership, Tom reveals some very personal stories.

The four related episodes this month are:
Act “As If”
Creating New Behaviors
Self-Awareness and Self-Management
The Mindful Executive

The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is at:
http://essentialcomm.com/podcast

Performing Like a TED Talker Aug 02, 2017

Delivering a top-notch presentation requires you to master your ideas. Of course! But even more, you need to master yourself. Your audience won’t be able to lock onto you unless you are “in focus.” This month’s coaching conversation shows you how to get “in focus.”

Related episodes are:
Prepping Like a TED Talker
http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/prepping-like-ted-talker/

Talking Like a TED Talker
http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/talking-like-ted-talker/

All Presentation Skills Tips are available at:
http://essentialcomm.com/tag/presentation-skills/

A PDF summary of Chris Anderson's book, "TED Talks" is
available to you. Just pop Tom an email and ask for it. He's at:
info@essentialcomm.com

Prepping Like A TED Talker Jul 12, 2017

Preparing a presentation raises many questions. How much are you going to rehearse? What will you actually do during your rehearsal? Are you going to memorize your talk? This month’s coaching conversation covers all that and more.

Four core concepts this month:

Rehearsal is obligatory.
Manage your self-talk.
Find your throughline.
Rehearsal means “out loud.”

In the archive is a whole set of Tips about “self talk.” It’s at:
http://essentialcomm.com/tag/self-talk/

There’s another set about “presentation skills.” That’s at:
http://essentialcomm.com/tag/presentation-skills/

Many different Executive Coaching Tips are referenced in this episode. Four related episodes are:
Captivate Your Audience
I Talk Too Fast!
The Power of Rehearsal
What Compelling Speakers Share

The entire archive of Tips is at:
http://essentialcomm.com/podcast

Short Sounds Confident May 31, 2017

Holding each other’s attention is a constant challenge. But you can’t achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership if you can’t keep people listening to you.

This month’s coaching conversation emphasizes three little slogans to make sure you aren’t driving your listeners away from you. All three slogans are just three words long: “Short sounds confident.” And “Communication takes effort.” And “Stop talking sooner.”

There are so many reasons why embodying those slogans is hard. And, in truth, it’s easier for some people than for others. But everyone can get at least a little better at this. This month’s podcast will give you lots of practical tips – and some metaphors!—to help get you there.

Past Tips are available at:
essentialcomm.com

Be in touch with us at:
info@essentialcomm.com

We love hearing from you.

Readers’ Letters — Bonus Episode 2 May 23, 2017

Tom exchanges emails with two listeners. One exchange addresses issues of personal boundaries in the workplace; the other addresses scarcity and abundance.

This Bonus Episode is only the second one in the 9-year history of "The Look & Sound of Leadership." If you like this and want more, tell us. Contact us through the homepage at:
essentialcomm.com

Or by email at:
info@essentialcomm.com

The prior bonus episode -- with two other email exchanges -- is titled "Readers' Letters." It was posted in May, 2016. Find it in your feed. It’s not available on our website. (We’re working on that!)

Talking Like a TED Talker May 03, 2017

TED Talkers turn us into engrossed detectives, absorbed in solving the mysteries unfolding before us. But TED Talking doesn’t have to be saved for special events. This month’s coaching conversation explores ways to turn everyday presentations into compelling content that will hold people's interest ... like a TED Talk.

If you're crafting an actual TED Talk, use Chris Anderson's terrific book: "TED Talks."

I have a nifty 3-page reduction of Anderson's book. Reach out to me at info@essentialcomm.com and I'll send it along.

Working to improve yourself as a presenter? The Coaching Tips archive are full of related episodes. Go to: essentialcomm.com/podcast and search the topic: "Presentation Skills."

The Voice of Authority Apr 05, 2017

Authority. It’s a slip-sliding sort of thing, isn’t it? Do we get it automatically along with a title? Sometimes. But sometimes not. This month’s coaching conversation examines both the thoughts and the words that give us authority.

The ideas in this month's episode echo motifs embedded in many other episodes. Just a few related Executive Coaching Tips are:

Every episode is available at:
http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Be in touch with us at:
info@essentialcomm.com

The Human Element Mar 01, 2017

At work, we often diminish the importance of feelings – our own or those of others. We think, “I don’t have time for that” or “That’s silly.” But feelings don’t disappear just because they’re inconvenient. And, when unacknowledged, their impact can be severe. This month, two coaches discuss the difficulties of managing “the human element.”

Related episodes:

Self-Limiting Beliefs Feb 01, 2017

Self-limiting beliefs hold us back. We limit who we are so we don't shatter those beliefs.

This month's coaching conversation serves up several strategies to help you push back against those demons.

Along the way, we mention "Leadership and Self-Deception," a great book to help you on your journey.

We also touch on the topic of "Coaching versus Therapy," something I've been talking about for years. You can find an epsiode about it in the archive.

I also mention an interview I did with Eric Cacciatore on his podcast, "Restaurant Unstoppable" episode 298, in which he and I talk about management and turnover and motivation. It was a blast. Check it out.

Inhabiting Executive Presence Jan 11, 2017

Getting to the next level of executive presence usually demands the adoption of new behaviors. This month's episode explores a three-step process that helps new behaviors become habits.

Helping you change behavior so you can be perceived the way you want to be perceived is the raison d'être of this podcast. If it's time for you develop more effective behaviors, there is an entire category in “The Look & Sound of Leadership" archive that will accelerate your development.

The archive is at:
essentialcomm.com/podcast

The category, "Developing New Behavior" is at:
essentialcomm.com/tag/developing-new-behaviors/

Five favorite episodes in that category are:

The episode called "Creating New Behaviors" has a PDF that goes along with it. If you'd like it, just ask. I'd love to send it you. Pop me an email at: info@essentialcomm.com

Combating Emotional Hijacks Dec 07, 2016

When we feel threatened or in danger, an old part of our brains, the one that regulates emotions, hijacks our executive functioning. We say and do things we regret. In the workplace, this can have serious consequences. This month’s Executive Coaching Tip has seven strategies for stopping yourself from getting hijacked.

The seven lessons in my conversation with my client, Kimberly, are:

Emotional hijacks are real. They happen when your emotions take control over your reason;
Emotional hijacks happen because of a trigger. Triggers activate your emotional flight/fight/freeze response. We all have triggers;
Your triggers follow a pattern. track them over time and the pattern will emerge. Often those who witness our hijackings know our triggers before we do;
The first step to mastering your triggers is to be able to name them. By way of example, two of Kimberly’s were feeling left out and being ignored. Two of mine were feeling ineffectual and fearing a bad outcome. Triggers are personal and are different for each person;
Emotional hijacks are usually preceded by a feeling somewhere in the body, most often somewhere in your core;
Learning to recognize the pre-hijack feeling in your body as a warning bell can help stop – or at least slow down – the emotional hijacking;
When you’re struggling to keep your executive functioning online, you can speak about your struggle. “I’m really upset at the moment.” Or, as Kimberly suggested, “I’m not sure I can make good decisions right now.” Speaking about the feeling helps make sure you don’t act from the feeling.

If you want to work on combatting your emotional hijacks. other episodes you can listen to are:

The entire archive is available to you for free at:
essentialcomm.com/podcast

Under Executive Questioning Nov 02, 2016

This episode addresses three issues that arise when you’re facing an executive team. First, what meaning are you making about the event itself? Is that meaning helping you or not helping you? If it’s not helping you, change it.
Second, how will you address the moment when you need to say, “I don’t know”? Prepare for it. It’s going to happen. This episode has lots of ideas to try.
The final issue is confidence and finding your executive presence; the core of every episode of The Look & Sound of Leadership podcast.
In addition to the ideas in this episode, you can ask for a PDF that lists 15 related episodes to help you show up the way you want to show up.
Send an email to info@essentialcomm.com and ask for the PDF that goes with this episode. I’d love to send it to you.

Creating Safety for Hard Talks Oct 05, 2016

You can’t be an effective leader if you are not able to have hard conversations that are successful. “Successful” means addressing tough topics in a way that will create change. One crucial skill to make hard conversations successful is attending to how things are being said. Without an awareness of the ‘how,’ things won’t be as safe as they could be. And if things aren’t safe, they won’t go deep. And if they don’t go deep, they probably won’t stick. Five other episodes that relate to these skills are: Dealing With Emotional Responses A Difficult Conversation Discussing Difficult Behaviors Handling Defensive Behaviors Three Words You Should Never Say If you want to dig even deeper into this topic, two books to read are: “Difficult Conversations” from The Harvard Negotiation Project. The authors are Stone, Patton and Heen. And from the folks at VitalSmarts is “Crucial Conversations.” The authors are Patterson, Grenny, McMillan and Switzler. Both books are great. Lots of scripts. Lots of insights. Lots of tools.

How Teams Fight Sep 07, 2016

Conflict on teams is a good thing. Really! Well, it's good if it’s healthy.

This month, two techniques to help team members engage in healthy conflict: arguing about what's best for the business and turning hostile non-verbals into dialogue.

Taming Meetings Aug 03, 2016

Meetings are often viewed as a necessary evil to be endured. But they can be engaging events that build people’s skills and accelerate the work. This month, a recipe for mixing up meeting magic.

There is a four-meeting model discussed in this episode. If you want a graphic illustration of the model, just look at the online version in the archive: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ or email me at info@essentialcomm.com

Two books are also discussed in this month's episode: Patrick Lencioni's "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team" and "Death By Meeting," both essential reads for team leaders.

Conquering Fear Jul 06, 2016

Fear is natural but insidious. It can carve caverns in the foundations of our confidence, weakening our capacity. This month, a client learns about three kinds of fear and a transformational question that tames fear.
A seminal book to help master fear is "Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers.
At the end of this month's episode, Tom tells a story about the amazing reach of podcasts.

Building Empathy Jun 08, 2016

Empathy is a crucial component of The Look & Sound of Leadership. Some people have it naturally, others don’t. In either case, it can be developed and learned. This month's episode has lots of ideas about what empathy is, what it isn't, and how you can develop it. There are lots of resources discussed this month. A book called "The EQ Edge" by Stein and Book. A great 3-minute animation by Brene Brown about sympathy versus empathy. It's on the home page of her website: brenebrown.com. Look for the cartoon of a bear and a fox. Other epsiodes you might listen to are: Building Emotional Intelligence Dealing With Emotional Responses Self-Awareness & Self-Management You also might go to essentialcomm.com, select "Coaching Tips," then search two subjects in the archive : Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development Finally, if you or someone you know is in the middle of a job search, Tom did an interview this month with a wonderful career coach names Alyson Garrido. The interview has lots of helpful tips and tools. You can find it at: LA TalkRadio.com. The show is called "Get Yourself The Job." The show is in their archive for May, 2016. Be good to the people you're leading. And be good to yourself! Until next month, thanks for listening!

Readers’ Letters — Bonus Episode May 17, 2016

A bonus episode!

Tom shares email exchanges he had with two podcast listeners. One exchange is about handling people who interrupt presentations. The other is about defining tasks and responsibilities when they're not defined for you.

During the podcast, Tom mentions two other episodes that support the ideas here: one episode is “Facilitating Open Dialogue.” The other is “Creating Devoted Followers.”

If you’d like more bonus episodes like this one, let Tom know at info@essentialcomm.com.

Personal Histories as Your Brand May 04, 2016

How you brand yourself sticks with people a long time.Thismonth, a senior executive dreads having to brand himself duringaninterview – until he learns about the PersonalHistoriestechnique.

In addition to giving you this simple yet powerful tool tohelpbuild your personal brand, this episode also references abookcalled "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team."

Details about this book is at the end of the podcast. ThereIdiscuss that there are actually TWO books about theFiveDysfunctions. They're quite different. Here’s how.

"The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable" has ajuicystory about a team struggling to succeed. In the back of thebook,the author teaches The Five Dysfunctions and explains atarelatively high level how to overcome them. The tools in thisbook– including an assessment your team can fill out – areuseful.

If you’d like to know how to build a high-performing team,thesecond book is even more useful. It’s called, "Overcoming TheFiveDysfunctions of a Team: A Field Guide for Leaders, ManagersandFacilitators." This book has detailed, step-by-step instructionstoguide to and your team to high achievement.

Power Tools for Teams — Plus/Delta Apr 06, 2016

This month, The Look & Sound of Leadership gives you a tool for developing your team. A process that takes only minutes to learn, if practiced regularly, this exercise has far-reaching ripples. Welcome to "The Plus/Delta Tool."

Other episodes to help you develop as a leader of teams are:

Your Team's Best Interests - Part One

Your Team's Best Interests - Part Two

Coaching Your People

Engagement and Performance

Performance Reviews

Resolving Conflict

The Mindful Executive Mar 02, 2016

From the Harvard Business Review to the New York Times, mindfulness is widely touted as a powerful tool to increase personal effectiveness and well-being. This month’s Executive Coaching Tip explores the “how to” of being mindful with an executive who was already on the path but didn’t know it.

This episode shows that mindfulness is neither complex nor mysterious; it just takes practice. More importantly, this episode puts forward the idea that all professional and personal development requires you to be mindful to some degree.

If this episode inspires you, there are even more Tips to help support your growth. Go to the Executive Coaching Tips archive and select the category “Personal Growth & Self-Development.”

http://essentialcomm.com/tag/personal-growth-self-development/

Coaching Under Attack Feb 03, 2016

Coaching is expensive. Coaching is hard to measure. Coaching is too touchy-feely. There are a million arguments against coaching. This month, a tough CEO puts Tom on the defensive about coaching. If you'd like to explore this topic further, here are nine related Tips:

Or you can search the free archive of all ten years' worth of Tips. Use the "Search by Subject" tool to look at the category called "Personal Growth & Self-Development." There are more than 40 Tips in that cateogry to help support your professional development. At the end of this Tip, Tom invites you to become a client. If you're interested in being coached, send him an email at info@essentialcomm.com

High-Stakes Meetings Jan 06, 2016

The goal of this episode is to give you a three-step process to help you succeed in meetings when you feel there’s a lot at stake.

Step one: Clarify the Story. Four other episodes can also help with this step: “Sounding Executive,” “Communicating With Clarity,” “Executive Presenting” and, the mother of all communication tools: “Sorting and Labeling.”

Step two: Do Your Homework. This step is different for everyone. Sometimes it means getting information from another department. Sometimes it means researching data. Sometimes it means talking to people who’ve gone before you.

Most people seem to know what homework to do; the struggle is finding time. Because we’re busy we think, “Oh, I’ll let the homework slide.” But I promise – doing your homework will make you feel much more confident.

That brings us to the final step: Managing Yourself. In this episode I mention several concepts to help you manage yourself that you can find in other episodes. “Assume Equality” is a critical self-management tool. Another, to help manage feeling like a victim, is called “Status.” Another is called “Choosing Stories Over Truth.”

This month’s episode is all about preparing for a high-stakes meeting with a tough company president. Next month’s episode will be about what happened when I was finally in the room face-to-face with her.

Showing Teeth Dec 02, 2015

For many businesses, uncertainty and ambiguity is their new norm. In such anxious times, people long for leaders who will make tough decisions, stand behind those decisions, and protect their people. In some circles, this is called “showing teeth.”

In this episode, I refer to The Center for Talent Innovation and their white paper on Executive Presence.

I also refer to four related episodes:

Assertion versus Aggression

Gravitas

Speaking for Yourself

Speaking Your Truth

For more ideas about “Showing Teeth,” you might also check out all the episodes in the Assertiveness category of the Executive Coaching Tips archive. The Executive Coaching Tip that explains “unconscious competence” is Creating New Behaviors.

Engagement & Performance Nov 04, 2015

Lack of engagement can assume many disguises but there is one outcome that is predictable: poor performance. What would you say if you found out you could get people engaged – and improve performance – with just two questions? Sounds like a miracle, right? That’s what I thought, too.

Managing Disruptive Executives Sep 30, 2015

Disruptive executives take many forms—bullies, catastrophizers, resisters, you name it. But no matter what mask they wear, they create upheaval. Whether the disrupter is your boss, your peer or your direct report, coping successfully requires two things: courage and skills. Here’s how to find both.

Executive Presenting Sep 02, 2015

Presentations are a golden opportunity to display your executive presence. Here are six behaviors that’ll help you command the room and deepen your brand.

A Breakdown of Listening Aug 05, 2015

We all think we’re better listeners than we really are. Luckily, we all have the capacity to improve our skills. But not all listening is the same. Here’s a breakdown.

In Sync Communications Jul 08, 2015

When you’re communicating, you not only need to fly through the intricate patterns of your own information, you need to be sure we can thread that needle along with you.

Executive Gender Bias Jun 10, 2015

The research is unequivocal: in the workplace, women play on a tilted field. Everyone contributes to work's off-center world -- even women! This episode explores ways to bring the tipping back in balance.

The Narcissistic Executive May 06, 2015

Narcissistic executives can be infuriating. And, unless you’re one of their favored few, they can be dangerous, too. These five actions will help protect you—and keep you sane.

Coaching Your People Apr 01, 2015

Helping develop your people is a win for everyone. But developing people is quite different from managing people: developing people requires you to be a coach. Here’s how.

Status Mar 04, 2015

We all assign ourselves a certain status. Of course, that means we assign status to others, too. The question is: do people experience your status as appropriate? Or do you need to dial it up? Or down!

Defining Success Feb 04, 2015

“I’ll know it when I see it” is a natural thought when starting a new project. Feeling “It’s just not right” is natural when a situation is nagging. But your followers need you to tell them specifically what success looks like. If you don’t tell them, how will they know?

Mentoring & Mentors Jan 06, 2015

Finding good mentors – and using them wisely – can change your career trajectory. So can being a mentor to others. Here are actions for succeeding in both roles.

The Honorable Executive Dec 02, 2014

Executives create honor in the workplace not by declarations and speeches. Rather, honor is built in the display of small, consistent behaviors every day. This month’s Tip examines two of those behaviors and one over-arching factor.

Managing Performance: Up or Out Nov 06, 2014

Poor performers often linger far too long. Leaders who avoid these performance issues damage their reputations and weaken their teams. Here are five actions to help you manage poor performers up or out.

Thinking Errors Oct 01, 2014

Thinking errors are tough to spot in yourself because they seem true. Usually we've believed them for a long time. Here are ways to free yourself from thinking errors

Pursuing A Promotion Sep 03, 2014

We'd all like to be given a promotion merely because it's our turn. But earning a promotion is actually a job in itself. Mastering the four factors described here will accelerate the process.

Managing Up Aug 06, 2014

We all want bosses who are sensitive to our needs. But savvy players know we need to manage our bosses at least as much as they manage us.

Personal Branding Jul 08, 2014

Each one of us has a personal brand. Every day we reinforce our brands consciously or unconsciously. The tools in this episode will help you craft your brand with intention.

Leading Through Delegation Jun 04, 2014

Your ability to execute senior-level work correlates directly to your ability to delegate effectively. The better you are delegation, the higher you can rise.

Achieving Authenticity Apr 30, 2014

Leaders who are authentic display The Look & Sound of Leadership™. We follow them eagerly. But how to achieve authenticity? Here are five tools.

Your Goodwill Bank Account Apr 02, 2014

Certain people seem to have unlimited leeway when they make a mistake or miss a deadline while others seem to acquire black marks and penalties for the most minor infractions. This month’s episode explains why.

Captivate Your Audience Mar 04, 2014

If you don’t grab your audience at the start, it’s tough to win ‘em over later. The two behaviors described here will help you engage your listeners before you’ve said a word.

Creating Devoted Followers Feb 05, 2014

We all sense the subtle messages we send each other. When those messages have even a whiff of disapproval, your followers may begin to cool.

Perception Is Reality Jan 08, 2014

Accepting how others see you can be a struggle. Until you can, you may not seem ready for the next step in your career.

Taming Email Dec 04, 2013

An ongoing series of Executive Coaching Tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived.

Speaking Your Truth Nov 07, 2013

We all have moments when we don’t speak up because we worry what other people might think. Here’s a way to help you find—and keep!—your voice. 11/07/13

The Generous Executive Oct 03, 2013

Choosing to collaborate often feels like inviting an invader to sit down and eat your food. It can be done, but it doesn’t feel natural. And why would you? Where’s the benefit?

Gravitas Sep 05, 2013

Gravitas is credibility that goes beyond titles or credentials. Without it, you can’t achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership™. This Tip will help you get it and keep it.

Soliciting Feedback Aug 01, 2013

Without good feedback about yourself, you can’t achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership. But how can you get good feedback about yourself?

The High-Maintenance Executive Jul 11, 2013

Being “high maintenance” can derail a career. Here are four mistakes people make that get them labeled “high maintenance.” And four actions to help you avoid the high maintenance label.

Capitalizing on Differences in Style Jun 06, 2013

Our own work style seems completely natural—to us! But what about all those people whose styles are different? What do you do with them?

Creating New Behaviors May 02, 2013

We create impressions, in part, through our behaviors. And changing behaviors can feel overwhelming. This four-stage process makes behavioral change manageable.

Building Emotional Intelligence Apr 04, 2013

Companies invest in developing Emotional Intelligence (EQ) because its presence improves performance. EQ has four steps. Here is number one. 04/04/13

Shouldering the Burden of Leadership Mar 07, 2013

Every leader casts a long shadow. Casual comments can have huge ripples. Such is the burden of leadership. How well are you shouldering the burden?

The Flexible Leader Feb 07, 2013

Everyone you manage is at a different stage of their professional and personal development. Are you managing them all the same way?

Communicating with Clarity Jan 10, 2013

Expert communicators put up signposts so their listeners can follow them easily. Using these “frameworks” can distinguish you as a clear and expert communicator.

Upward Feedback Dec 06, 2012

Giving upward feedback can be a dicey proposition. The three-step formula in this Executive Coaching Tip will make that potentially dangerous enterprise a whole lot safer.

Turn Values into Behavior Nov 01, 2012

Companies proudly post their values in their lobbies and on their websites. But values are mere slogans until leaders help people transform those ideas into concrete actions. But that shift can be difficult. Even explosive.

Self-Awareness & Self-Management Oct 04, 2012

Leaders who are technically gifted leaders are often less gifted when managing their relationships. To avoid derailing—and to have healthy relationships—leaders need the two skills addressed in this month’s podcast.

Getting Unstuck Sep 06, 2012

It’s usually painfully obvious to us when we’re stuck. What’s frustrating is that we can’t get ourselves unstuck. Here are three practical ways for getting unstuck that are particularly helpful in the workplace.

The Well-Balanced Executive Aug 02, 2012

This 100th edition of The Look & Sound of Leadership™ discusses the best predictor of an executive’s long-term effectiveness.

The Disruptive Executive - Part Two Jul 12, 2012

Trying to manage a disrupter is tough work. Managing yourself while managing a disrupter is no easier! These four tools will help you contain yourself during emotional encounters.

The Disruptive Executive - Part One Jun 07, 2012

Trying to manage disrupters is like getting pummeled by a heavyweight. Here are five tools to help get traction with the disrupters in your life.

The Exhausted Executive May 10, 2012

Many high performers are running on empty. Here are tools to replenish your reserves.

The Distracted Executive Apr 05, 2012

Trying to get your message through to a distracted person isn't easy. It takes mental energy, preparation and willingness to repeat yourself. But what happens if YOU are the distracted person?

The Many Parts of You Mar 08, 2012

Recognizing and managing the many, often contradictory, parts of you is crucial to becoming an authentic leader.

Your Team's Best Interests - Part Two Feb 02, 2012

Engaged and productive employees believe their boss has their best interest at heart.

Your Team's Best Interests - Part One Jan 12, 2012

Engaged and productive employees believe their boss has their best interest at heart.

Performance Reviews Dec 01, 2011

Six lessons for delivering meaningful performance reviews.

Leading Teams Nov 03, 2011

Five questions your team needs to answer if they're all going to move in the same direction. Plus a four-layer pyramid that needs defining.

Facilitating Open Dialogue Oct 06, 2011

Tips and techniques for the extremely difficult task of getting people to speak openly in public forums—or in private!

Smiling—The Look of Leadership Sep 01, 2011

Your smile can be a credibility builder or a credibility killer. How is your smile working for you?

Leading Change Aug 11, 2011

Navigating the minefield of change is fraught with danger. Here's your road map through change's treacherous terrain.

Resolving Conflict Jul 07, 2011

Three actions, plus three behaviors, to help warring factions to lay down their arms and get back to work.

The Power of PowerPoint Jun 02, 2011

PowerPoint can be a blessing but all-too-often is a curse. Here are 8 tips to harness the positive power of PowerPoint.

Compelling Openings May 19, 2011

Intimacy in Business: Setting Boundaries May 05, 2011

The ability to create a sense of intimacy in the workplace leads to deep and long-lasting trust. And it’s not about being personal.

Recommendations & Resources Apr 21, 2011

Stop Giving Away Your Secrets Apr 07, 2011

Transparency is great in business—except when you tip your hand and reveal thoughts and feelings that are better kept to yourself.

Women as Powerful Communicators Mar 17, 2011

Making Stories Soar Mar 03, 2011

Stories stick with people long after data becomes a blur.

Questions as Leadership Feb 17, 2011

Leadership and Listening Feb 03, 2011

Two listening behaviors that will get different results and foster collaboration.

Self-Knowledge as Leadership Jan 20, 2011

Building Rapport Jan 06, 2011

Rapport is easy when people’s styles match. But when there’s a mismatch, what then?

Smoothing Harsh Edges Dec 16, 2010

Three Little Phrases with Big Impact Dec 02, 2010

Phrases to keep people listening to your data and to get people to comply with your decisions.

Getting Growth Acknowledged Nov 18, 2010

Compassion During Change Nov 04, 2010

When a star performer suddenly declines there’s always a reason. The question is where should you look for the reason?

The Look & Sound of Self-Esteem Oct 21, 2010

Strategic Apologies Oct 07, 2010

Apologies can enhance or damage a relationship. Too few can be as damaging as too many. Here are four apologies—two to emulate, two to avoid.

Handling Defensive Behaviors Sep 23, 2010

Unmasking a Stand-In Sep 09, 2010

Interacting with phantoms from the past is dangerous both personally and professionally.

Leadership Behavior in Meetings Aug 19, 2010

The Power of Rehearsal Aug 05, 2010

Rehearsal doesn’t mean reciting by rote.

Repairing Damaged Relationships Jul 22, 2010

Three Words You Should Never Say Jul 08, 2010

Want to boost your credibility? Stop saying these words.

Negative Self-Talk Jun 24, 2010

Don't Take It Personally Jun 10, 2010

Think that insult was about you? Think again!

Eliminating Distractions May 20, 2010

Dealing With Emotional Responses May 06, 2010

Six tips for handling yourself when faced with others’ emotions.

Delivering Tough Feedback Apr 15, 2010

Disagree Agreeably Apr 08, 2010

How to disagree without being disagreeable.

Sounding Executive Mar 25, 2010

Getting Agreement Mar 11, 2010

Giving instructions without getting agreement is a recipe for disappointment.

Accessing Your Best Thinking Feb 25, 2010

Act "As If" Feb 11, 2010

This fundamental actor’s tool helps you be perceived the way you want to be perceived.

Speaking For Yourself Jan 28, 2010

Assertion Versus Aggression Jan 14, 2010

One builds relationships, the other damages them. Are you clear which is which, and why?

Stories -- The Ultimate Persuaders Dec 17, 2009

Leadership and Self-Deception Dec 03, 2009

Our self-limiting behaviors are invisible to us but apparent to others.

Managing Your Strengths Nov 19, 2009

Answering Essay Questions Nov 05, 2009

Avoid a long-winded ramble with this three-step model

Creating Clarity Oct 22, 2009

"I Hate Politics!" Oct 08, 2009

Hating politics puts you out of the game that’s being played around you.

Getting Good Feedback Sep 24, 2009

Networking Sep 10, 2009

A crucial skill even if you’re in your job for life—which you’re not!

Your Workplace as Calling Card Aug 20, 2009

Sorting and Labeling Aug 06, 2009

The communication tool that will set you above the rest.

Holding People Accountable Jul 23, 2009

I Talk Too Fast! Jul 09, 2009

What happens in our brains when we hear someone talk “too fast.”

How Behaviors Change Jun 25, 2009

Positive Opposites Jun 11, 2009

Dichotomies are great learning tools—when they’re framed positively.

Listen Without An Agenda May 28, 2009

Choosing Persistence May 14, 2009

Two stories to fuel persistence in the face of frustrations.

Playback as Feedback Apr 30, 2009

A Difficult Conversation Apr 16, 2009

Discussing touchy, even explosive, subjects.

Sounding Well-Spoken Apr 02, 2009

Be Impeccable With Your Word Mar 19, 2009

Hold yourself accountable for what comes out of your mouth.

Speed of Thought Mar 05, 2009

Focus in the Face of Distractions Feb 19, 2009

Results are important and so is how they’re achieved.

Giving Powerful Feedback Feb 05, 2009

Elevator Speeches Jan 22, 2009

Create crisp executive summaries of everyday topics.

Messaging During Hard Times Dec 11, 2008

A time-tested formula for communicating in difficult times.

Becoming More Expressive Dec 04, 2008

What Compelling Speakers Share Nov 20, 2008

Two qualities that will keep your listeners listening.

Being Concise Nov 13, 2008

Handling Feedback Effectively Nov 06, 2008

Managing Beyond Bad Behavior Oct 30, 2008

“Repeated Headlines” can rein in ongoing bad behavior.

Assume Equality Oct 23, 2008

Act with Intention Oct 16, 2008

Project The Image You Want Oct 09, 2008

Manage how you’re perceived in the workplace.

The Art of Chat Oct 02, 2008

Choosing Stories Over "Truth" Sep 25, 2008

Answer What's Asked Sep 18, 2008

How to sound executive when answering questions.

Driving Your Message Home Sep 11, 2008

Owning Miscommunications Sep 04, 2008

Coaching Versus Therapy Aug 28, 2008

Determining what coaching is and what it isn’t.

Keeping Repeated Material Fresh Aug 21, 2008

Managing Your Boss Aug 14, 2008

When Learning Makes Things Worse Aug 07, 2008

Integrating new behaviors may actually send you backwards.

Building Trust Jul 31, 2008

Staying on Track Jul 24, 2008

Who's Coachable? Jul 17, 2008

Can your direct reports be coached to achieve their potential? Can you?

Remembering Names Jul 10, 2008

Managing Nervousness Jul 03, 2008

Creating Charisma Jun 26, 2008

Turn up your heat from a gentle simmer to a rolling boil.

Lead With Your Heart Jun 19, 2008

Choose the Impression You Make Jun 12, 2008

Ask for What You Want Jun 05, 2008

Give yourself permission to ask without apology or fear.

Discussing Difficult Behaviors May 15, 2008

Leading With Your Heart Jan 26, 2006

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

The Look & Sound of Leadership

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected